Episode 105: How to Stop Being Conventional and Create the Life You Deserve | Shae LaPlace | Writer & Founder of Bad Outdoors Woman
Shae LaPlace is the integrator for Powerful Ladies, the right hand helping Kara Duffy bring ideas to life across Powerful Ladies and KDCC. She is also a freelance writer and editor, bartender, and the creator of Bad Outdoors Woman. Shae’s journey is anything but conventional, and her story is proof that you can design a life around your passions, values, and goals. She shares what it is like to be part of the Powerful Ladies team, the adventures that have shaped her path, and how she balances creative work, multiple careers, and personal growth. We also preview the International Women’s Day 2021 events, including panels, workshops, and a virtual happy hour, all tied to this year’s theme: “Never Underestimate a Powerful Lady.”
“Being true to yourself is the best tool you have to the life you want and you deserve.”
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Follow along using the Transcript
Chapters
00:00 Meet Shae LaPlace
03:15 Her Role as Integrator for Powerful Ladies
07:40 Building a Multi-Passion Career
10:50 Creating Bad Outdoors Woman
14:20 Adventures and Lessons from the Outdoors
18:35 Balancing Creative Projects with Multiple Jobs
22:15 The Power of a Strong Support System
26:40 Why She Believes in Living Unconventionally
30:55 International Women’s Day 2021 Preview
35:20 Partnering with Women for Women International
38:45 Advice for Designing the Life You Deserve
42:10 Where to Connect with Shae LaPlace
I've never done things conventionally. I've never fit into the mold of what others expect. I look back and I'm like, I'm so glad that I am the way that I am. I think the 8-year-old me would be like, you're still, you're still pretty true to you, even if you're being a wuss and you're too scared to put yourself out there and do certain things.
That's Shay Lalo, and this is The Powerful Ladies Podcast.
Hey guys, I'm your host, Kara Duffy, and on this episode, you get to meet Shea Lalo. She's the integrator for the Powerful Ladies Team, which means she's my right hand to making sure all things powerful. Ladies and KDCC come to life. In addition to working for Powerful Ladies, she's a freelance writer and editor, a bartender and the creator of Bad Outdoor Women.
In this episode, we discuss her journey, what it's like to be on the team at Powerful Ladies and all the exciting things coming up in our International Women's Day. 2021 International Women's Day on March 8th is the biggest event of the year for powerful ladies, and we have lots of events for you to come to to celebrate, connect, and network with fellow powerful ladies from around the world.
On March 8th and March 11th, we'll be hosting our events, everything from an open rise and Thrive event to a very powerful guest speaker panel. We'll discuss our theme for the year, never underestimate a Powerful Lady. And then on the 11th we'll be having our workshop all about how to create your dream team and what it looks like to hire, interview, and also structure your teams to be thriving.
And of course, we have our virtual happy hour that evening as well. You're all invited to join. See the link in our Instagram bio at Powerful Ladies where you can find all the events, sign up for everything, and even support us even further. In addition to joining us online, you can also join us in partnering with our charity partner, women for women.org.
All of our merchandise that we've created to celebrate 2021 International Women's Day. All the proceeds go to sponsor women in their educational programs. So you get to help us pay empowerment forward this year. Again, all the links to find everything are on our Instagram channel in our link Bio at Powerful Ladies
Shay, welcome to the Powerful podcast. Hi. This is so surreal, right? Well, it's always weird 'cause obviously we talk about every single day, but usually it's not on Zoom and usually it's not being recorded, so, right. A little bit different than normal. Um, but just like everybody else on the podcast, um, please introduce yourself and tell people what you're doing in the world.
All right. Well, my
name is Shay Lalo and I am the integrator at Powerful Ladies. I'm also a bartender at Telluride Brewing Company and a freelance writer.
Mm-hmm. And you have a couple of different, uh, clients you work with, right? Like in addition to Powerful Ladies, you do some other freelance work?
Yep. I work with a really small media agency outta Netherland, Colorado called Formidable Media.
Mm-hmm. Um, it's basically just this guy, Aaron Bible, who's awesome. And, um, I've been, just started working with Canna Brand, who are the number one cannabis advertising agency,
which is, who knew such thing would exist, uh, even
two years ago.
Mm-hmm.
Right. It's a very strange moment. Um, but they're absolutely crushing it, and they are definitely fulfilling a need that came up quickly.
Yeah. Yeah. Um, and when I met you, you were, uh, in Boulder and mm-hmm. You went to uc, right.
Yeah. Sea of Boulder. Mm-hmm.
Yeah. And before that, you were from Pittsburgh, is that correct? Yeah, born and raised.
19 years in Pittsburgh.
Yeah. Uh, so how did you make the jump from Pittsburgh to Boulder and then to Telluride?
Well, I, when I was applying for college, I was basically fairly certain I wanted to get away from Pittsburgh. Mm-hmm. Um, and I definitely knew that weather was a big thing for me. Um, and I just applied to a lot of schools. And then when I got into the University of Colorado and I started reading about it, I was like, wow, this place is amazing.
Um, and I had never been, I just decided to go. Mm-hmm. So that's really, that's really how I decided on that. And then while I was at cu, I visited Telluride a couple of times. Mm-hmm. Um, I had the good fortune to visit, to ski, and then for some music festivals and just kind of fell in love.
Mm-hmm. And um, that was one of the first like projects that we worked on together, was figuring out a way to get you from Boulder to Telluride.
Yep. And, and for many people who want to live in like their dream place, um, how would you tell them to make it happen? Or like what did you coordinate that you could make it happen? I think I just started
like step by step setting the realistic goals. Like one, finding a place to live is the hardest thing when you're moving to a new place 'cause you don't know anybody.
And, um, I think that that was a challenge that I knew was a thing. It's difficult to find housing here in Telluride, so I sort of started with that. Um, because I'm a bartender, I knew that. There was gonna be somewhere for me to work. Yeah. Um, because there's always a bar that needs somebody. So I started with housing and I started to set like little financial goals of like, okay, I need to have money for a moving truck and I need to have money for like the co Every time you move, you like think you don't need new things, but you always need new things.
So I started setting some money aside for that. It wasn't enough, but I did, um, once I had locked down the housing, I, which was an interesting experience, I posted on a local Facebook page. Mm-hmm. And I was like, this is who I am. This is what I'm looking for. This is why I made a tire ride. And my roommate, landlord, best friend Stephanie reached out.
She didn't comment on the page. She just, uh, messaged me and was like, I think I might have a place for you. Um. Then we sort of had a couple phone calls and then I came out here mm-hmm. And came to the house and we met and we were like, oh, this is gonna work great. We got along right away. Yeah. Um, and since I had locked down housing that weekend, I went around to local restaurants and bars and put in my resume and applied to jobs and kind of got to know the local management and whatnot.
Mm-hmm. And locked down a job, and I actually ended up locking down two jobs that weekend. So that, you know, one didn't work out. I had another one. Um, but yeah, that was really the, the plan of attack was that like, once I locked down housing, locked in our job, and then that way I moved here and then I think like four days later I started working.
Mm-hmm.
So I didn't have any like gap time, but basically my advice would be start with housing and, mm-hmm. Lock that down, and then kind of take the incremental steps that you need to, that little bit of money that you put away, and then mm-hmm. Locking down that job mm-hmm. So that you don't feel like you're gonna get there and then figure it out, because that's really scary to, to make all that financial sacrifice.
Mm-hmm. And then get somewhere and not know what you're gonna do for work.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, I'm sure everyone heard at the beginning that you said you, you're the integrator for powerful ladies. Like, what the hell is an integrator and what does that mean? I feel like that's
a better question for you, but, um, I, I, I feel like I consider myself sort of the go between, like I'm your right hand in that if there's something that you need done, it's my job to.
Make one, I start making lists of who I need to be in contact with and all the different like pillars of how that task or project needs to all the pillars that need to be there for that thing to happen, I guess.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Um,
and lately that's been a lot of marketing, which is awesome because that's closer to home of what I studied in school.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and yeah, I mean it's really been a learning pro process I think for both of us. Right. Like yeah. Both been sort of figuring out what the integrator role is as we go. Mm-hmm. Um, definitely a lot of strategy, definitely a lot of you and I putting our heads together to figure out what powerful it needs to grow and progress and to make everything that we do the best it can possibly be.
Yeah. Um, and. People who only know Powerly as a, as a podcast, there's so much else going on. Right. And really you're the integrated for two businesses in, in truth, because we have, um, we have the podcast, we have our community, we have all of our courses and workshops, we have events we're doing. Um, we also have the entire Thrive.
Yeah. The whole Thrive membership. We also have, um, you know, uh, getting sponsors for the podcast. We have all of my, my whole coaching, the KDCC business built into it. Um mm-hmm. There's so many layers to this business that it's impossible and, and to just be me doing it. And it's never just been me. I, I had a team before anyone knew it existed.
Um, but the integrator role is so critical because. In as anyone who's a CEO and especially a CEO who's creating the content that's being generated as well. Like we can't do it all. And I really need someone to manage me and make sure that these things are happening. So that's what we've been building, right?
Because some integrators are very like following a process that's already been created. But you and I have been creating the processes together and figuring out who on the team should really manage it. 'cause it doesn't have to just be you and honestly it's too much work to just, just be you as well. Um, but for anyone that doesn't have the integrator role, it's so important because, um, you know all the parts of the business the same way I do.
So you're able to help me look at ways that we can make it better connections Oh that needs to connect to this. And, um, it's really critical. So if anybody thinks that they need an integrator or a brand manager or whatever that right hand role might look like for you, please send us a message. 'cause we can, we can talk about it.
Um, absolutely. We'll also. We'll also be talking about it the whole month of March because that for our Thrive membership, the whole topic is building teams. And so the integrator role is critical for when we're building out teams. Um, what's it been like for you kind of coming through powerful eighties and getting to where you are now?
What's it, what's it been like from your perspective?
I feel like recently I've had such a, like, shift into focus because I mean real really. We started working together in April, it'll be two years ago, which is crazy. Which is mm-hmm. Crazy because that feels like yesterday to me. Yeah. But I think, I think it's been this moment of, it feels like everything's coming to fruition.
Mm-hmm.
I remember when we first met, I was like, wow, this is a woman that I really wanna be involved with, someone I really wanna learn from. Um, and I feel like you have taught me and shown me how powerful I am. And so in that I have. Increased my power on the powerful ladies end, like what I do with you.
Mm-hmm. And the responsibility that you give me has increased. Um, and I, I look at our journey and I just feel so excited and so proud of everything that we've done together. And I'm even more excited for what's to come. Like that journey has been, you know, this job has been something that I have prioritized, even though my life doesn't always allow for me to have the most time.
Mm-hmm.
Um, but it's always been something that is, I mean, it's on my mind. Powerful, at least has been on my mind every day for two years. Um, so now having this, this real role where we work together every single day, it's felt like the moment where it's like that pinnacle moment mm-hmm. Where everything that you've been working for is starting to happen.
So it's just been really exciting and I'm just really looking forward to everything that we can continue to do.
Yeah. It, and, and that's what, um, I have to pace myself, right? Because the vision of what Powerful Ladies is still becoming has been this mm-hmm. Has been the plan from, you know, day negative 500.
So the hardest part for me is an impatient person is like waiting for it to come to life the way it's supposed to. And we test so many things, right? Like, we weren't expecting to launch the Thrive membership in April last year. We were expecting to launch it in like Q3 or Q4. And because of COVID we had to like pivot, switch everything.
And obviously whenever you launch something in two weeks versus like nine months, um, there's all these things that you realize you wanna change or shift. Whenever you create a product, you don't really know how the customer or the consumer is going to want to use it because they see it so differently from you.
So I'm really excited that we're just about to kick off that process of, of kind of releasing Thrive 2.0. Um, because I think it'll be more fun and more engaging and more impactful for the people who already love it and the people who don't know they need it yet. Absolutely.
I mean, I think that the, that the Thrive Community and membership mm-hmm.
Is something that people don't really understand until they're in it. And I'm hoping that as we progress this 2.0, this next level of mm-hmm. What that looks like, people can really start to see the potential of what Thrive holds for them.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Um, because I think there's a lot of, there's a lot of people out there who don't really, who don't really know the potential that's there yet.
Well, so for people who are listening, what do you, who, who, what is the potential, what should, who should be thinking that Thrive is like where they need to go next?
Interestingly, I think that any woman who's at a point in life, or a man, honestly, anyone, any human being mm-hmm. Who's at a point in their life where they're ready to make a pivot of any kind, whether that's, you know, in your career or in your life, I think that thrive actually, though the focus is your business and is your career.
Mm-hmm. In some ways, I think that all the lessons can be kind of applied to life in general.
Mm-hmm.
Um, it's a community of people who support each other and who encourage each other and who are there to answer your questions, like, you know. Mm-hmm. I came to a moment in my career where I wasn't sure if some, if something was weird or bad, and I called you and I was like, that's what thrive's about.
Mm-hmm.
Leaning on each other, asking each other questions, because we don't have to know everything all the time on our own. No. You know, we only have our own experience and our own mm-hmm. You know, research and the things that we've do. Dived dove, um, the things that we've delved into in life too. Yeah. Um, to base our understanding off of.
And so when I started freelance writing with a new client, it's like, I'm not sure if this is right. Am I doing the right thing? Should I be asking more questions? And whether it's a new freelance client or a new job that hired you on, or wherever you are in that mm-hmm. Kind of spectrum of decisions and processes and new experiences, there is a place in thrive for you to have a better understanding of yourself, others, what you should be doing, what you shouldn't be doing.
Yeah. Um, it's just a really helpful place for anyone in a transition.
Yeah. And, and, um, you know, when I, when I first started coaching, I was offering coaching in, like, life coaching, financial coaching, or business coaching. And I ended up collapsing it all because the same principles could be applied anywhere, and that's really what we're tackling and thrive.
So while it's a center for like female entrepreneurs or wannabe entrepreneurs mm-hmm. It really applies anywhere, like our time management. Uh, course it applies to everybody. Our, our business budgeting course really is a, any budget course. Yeah. Um, the clarity kit, like, it, it gives you clarity on whatever you're up to.
So while the majority of like what we dive into on a daily basis is about. Creating a life that you want, whether it's through your business or it's through a different life plan. We do have a focus on entrepreneurship because that, to me is the fastest way to have the life that you want. Um, and even you in what you're doing, like you may not consider yourself an entrepreneur, but you are, right.
You have, you run your own business of, you know, who wants to hire Shea 'cause you have it and you basically have all these different clients, including the bartending jobs, right? So
let me, yeah, I would to think of that as something different, but I guess you're right. Mm-hmm. I suppose, I suppose it is every facet of.
Who we are. I think that we classify entrepreneur, entrepreneur and entrepreneurialism. Is that a thing? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Entrepreneurship. I think that we consider that so business oriented. Yeah. But really, you're right. Anyone who has a client or offers a service, um, you really are an entrepreneur.
Yeah. And, and no matter
what it is,
entrepreneurs are just making life happen the way they want it to in general.
Right? Like you, I start businesses and part of it's because I have an idea for something I wanna create, but it's also because I want financial freedom or location freedom, or time freedom or getting to choose mm-hmm. Who I spend my time with. So there's a lot more people who I think are entrepreneurial than they give themselves credit for, and.
Even when I worked in the corporate space, I've always been entrepreneurial. It wasn't like I showed up and did what I was told. Like, not that I was like causing problems, but like I didn't, I never thought about it as a, as a subordinate position. It was always me like helping to collaborate on this project.
And so mm-hmm. Thinking about things that way I think also changes how you see the world because the same, the same tools you're using to launch a business are the same tools that you can do to travel a world for a year or create any other project that you want. Um, so I think it's awesome. I also made it so I'm totally biased.
Um, but we have lots of other things happening in March and one of them is, um, our huge annual celebration of International Women's Day. Yeah. Um. What are you excited about for International Women's Day?
I'm really excited about the panel. Um mm-hmm. You know, despite the challenges of COVID, I, it's something I've been looking forward to for a while, to have the chance to bring together a group of like really awesome, powerful women and do
mm-hmm.
I had the idea of us doing a Powerful Lady summit someday. Yeah. And I think that the panel is kind of like a preview of what that could be like. Mm-hmm. So it's kind of like a, that's like one of my little powerful ladies' dreams coming True. So I'm really excited about that. Um, and I shouldn't call Dream.
What is the panel dream? What Yeah. Um, 'cause nothing about Me is Little. The Powerful Ladies Never Underestimated Powerful Lady International Women's Day panel mm-hmm. Will be a group of really awesome women coming together to talk about moments in life when maybe they've been underestimated or they've underestimated themselves.
Mm-hmm. Um, but they proved either someone else or themself wrong. And I think, Hmm. I'm interested to see what the moments when some of these women have underestimated themselves. Yeah. Because I think that that's such a powerful statement is remembering that yes, other, other people from the outside do underestimate us.
Mm-hmm.
Sometimes
because we're women, sometimes because we're too pretty or not pretty enough or whatever it is or mm-hmm. Because we didn't speak well in the first time that we interacted with somebody or we were too nervous or we were too confident or whatever it is. There's all these mm-hmm. You reasons that people come up with, um, as to why they might underestimate a person or misjudge a person.
Mm-hmm.
And I think I'm really excited to hear about some of these awesome women in the moments when they've done that to themselves, because we all do it. And I think it's a really powerful narrative to hear. Women who you look up to or women who you think are so far ahead of you in life or whatever, however you look at them.
Um, I think it's really powerful to hear them talk about the moments when they, when they do that to themselves too. 'cause we all do it. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So I'm really excited to hear what everyone has to say. Um, one of my best friends is on the panel, which I'm really excited about. Mm-hmm. Um, and I think it's just gonna be a great group of women and I'm excited to see what everyone brings to the table.
Yeah. Um, and International Women's Day has been a huge thing for powerful ladies from the beginning. Um, it's March 8th every year. It's been celebrated since either 1901 or 1910, I forget. And the whole purpose is to celebrate the victories that women around the world are having in, you know, equality and, uh, you know, equalizing pay and just all the things that, um, women haven't been allowed to do.
I mean, it freaks me out when we were. Doing all of our, our, our whole podcast to honor Ruth Bader Ginsburg. And you realize that women couldn't open a bank account by themselves until like it was in my mother's generation, that that happened. And that was crazy to hear. Mm-hmm. Um, so even though we take, we take for granted sometimes the small victories that we have had, or we don't even realize we're a recent victory.
And it's not just for, within the us it's really global. And so it's a great day to celebrate, you know, coming together the sisterhood of, of global powerful ladies community, and as well as like the fact that women are out there essentially kicking ass and doing what, um, they do every day for themselves and their families and their communities and, and everything else.
So on International Women's Day, we have the panel, but we also have the Rise and Thrive that's open. Mm-hmm. Um. What do you wanna tell people about Rise and Thrive? Rise and
Thrive I think is one of the coolest things that we do at Powerful Ladies. And while it has historically been private and narrowed down to only the Thrive, um, members, I think it's this awesome, super powerful way to start your week.
I mean, there's nothing that changes the way that you feel in a moment better than talking to people who understand and who are there to listen and can walk you through it. And as someone who has a horrible anxiety on a Sunday, and Monday is always a scary moment for me, um, that Monday call is just such an awesome coming together of women who are there to support each other or calling for support.
Um, and I think that the choice to open it up to the public for the first time on International Women's Day is really just a. I think for us it's a moment to, to share and to really say, okay, mm-hmm. This day is all about the badass, amazing things that women are out in the world doing.
Mm-hmm.
And here's this, this way that women come together and share with each other and lift each other up.
And again, it's not always about business. I mean, rise and Thrive is really a place for support because Monday mornings are hard. Mm-hmm. I don't care what you do for a living. Monday mornings are hard. I, I really don't, I don't care what you do. It's Monday's hard. And I think opening your day with this moment of collective support is just so beautiful.
Mm-hmm. And I don't think that people realize how much they need that in their lives. Mm-hmm. You know, for some people it comes in the form of a Peloton class and for some it's a yoga class, some it's a walk with their dog in the morning. But Rise and Thrive is a really amazing way to start your week.
And I think sharing it for International Women's Day just doesn't get any better.
Yeah. Um, so we've got two events on, on actual International Women's Day. We have two events on the 11th. Yeah, we have the, the monthly workshop, which is all about creating amazing teams. Mm-hmm. Um, and then we also have our happy hour that's happening that night, which we thought we would keep to just the membership, but we've also decided to open that up.
So that will be a lot of fun. Everyone can join, really get to celebrate, um, international Women's Day and what's happening. Uh, we also have hundreds of ambassadors from around the world who are gonna be doing our Instagram extravaganza on the eighth. Um, and for anyone who hasn't followed us during, um, international Women's Day in the past, go back through our feed at the Powerful Ladies on Instagram.
'cause we have women all around the world who would be posting a picture of themselves in their t-shirt saying what makes them powerful. Um, and it's a great way for people to like start following and finding each other. And I love seeing who gets connected during that day, because you never know who's gonna, um, find a new friend or a new, you know, collaborator.
And we'll of course be sharing those things that day too. So you have tons of International Women's Day things coming. Um, am I forgetting anything? For, for International Women's Day in particular? Um,
we have our live stream with the powerful ladies team. Mm-hmm. Um, that's gonna be on the Friday before International Women's Day.
Mm-hmm. But I think it'll be an awesome opportunity for, especially as we come into the, the teams conversation. Yeah. For our community to kind of see what's, what actually happens behind the scenes of powerful ladies and that you have a team. And I don't know that everybody knows who we all are. And I think it'll be an awesome moment of kind of opening that door into behind the scenes, showing people that we're just, we're just normal women too.
Just trying to figure it out. Yeah. Yes.
Normal women and Tomas. Yep. So true. Yeah. Normal people. Um, normal people. Yes. Yes, a hundred percent. Um, so I'm gonna get back to you a little bit. So when you think of the words powerful and ladies, what do they mean to you individually and what do they mean to you together?
So powerful to me is a word that I would say means anything that has within it. The ability to, to move people, move things, um, move themselves. Um, and that can be in large and small ways. Like I always think about powerful as like all of the powerful things that I look at every day, or powerful things that inspire me.
So like I think about how right now I'm looking out my window and how that looking out at the mountains outside my house is such a powerful moment for me every day.
Mm-hmm. And I
think about that and I think about the magnitude of that. And then I think about on a smaller scale, like the magnitude of the potential that I have.
I think about it as harnessing energy, like I said, the ability to move mm-hmm. People things. Um, so that's, I think powerful to me is definitely the ability to move and change and, um, have an impact and hold energy. Um. Mm-hmm. And then the word lady to me. I think lady for me inspires poise. Mm-hmm. And also, um, I always loved the word ladies as like a plural, like when I was on sports teams in high school, which I was massive athlete, I would always say ladies instead of team or girls, because I think there's something inherently powerful about the word ladies, because while it does hold this femininity mm-hmm.
It also holds poise and strength. And I think about like lords and ladies. And I think about, I don't know, I just think about all the amazing qualities that also fall under the feminine bracket.
Mm-hmm.
Um, while I love the word woman, I think that lady is something a little bit edgier, a little bit more badass.
Someone with a little bit more character than just a woman. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Um. So I think for me, powerful ladies is this combination of energy and the ability to create change and create an impact. And that femininity, that poise, that fearless badassness that I associate with the word lady. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
So I think it's just the coolest, most impactful people that you can think of. Um, because I really do think that women have the power to change the world in a way that mm-hmm. We've never, we've truly been underestimated for all of history, and so mm-hmm. I think it's just kind of the, the combination of all of those amazing things in one, two word statement.
Yeah. Uh, speaking of powerful ladies who, who are, um, you know, women as you've been growing up or that you either know or know from afar that have inspired you in how you approach life and, and what you value? So my mom
is probably my biggest because she's an incredible, um, fearless human being who I spent every day with her 19 years.
And I watched her work mm-hmm. As many jobs as it took for her to have some level of comfort, um, in life. And then I watched her while I was in high school, go back to school. Mm-hmm. And really, you know, she was a teacher at my high school and a coach, and I mean, not just my high school kindergarten through 12, she worked at my school.
Um, and I. She made this choice that she wanted more for herself financially and in terms of fulfillment. While she loved being a teacher, she knew that she had the potential to do more. And watching her do that and fight for that has been something that has guided me and the principles of how she lives her life.
Like she always told me, you need to be independent. Mm-hmm. Whatever you do know that you have the power to support yourself, that you have the power to make the choices that make it so that you can live a comfortable life. Mm-hmm. Um, and that's something that, that sticks with me every day. Um, but I would say one of my biggest inspirations right now is, um, she's sort of a famous Instagram personality, but she's also a writer.
Mm-hmm. Her name's Breonna Media and she lives in her van with three dogs. And, well, not her van anymore, but she has a trailer now, but still she's a very nomadic soul. Mm-hmm. Um, we have some personality traits in common and I love how unapologetically herself she is, because those are words that have been used to describe me.
Mm-hmm. Disruptive. Mm-hmm. Unapologetically herself, brash, abrasive. These are words that have been used to describe me.
Mm-hmm. Um,
and she sort of embraces when people come at her with that attitude. Um, and she's a writer and she's a steward of the outdoors and her vulnerability on Instagram impresses me every day.
Mm-hmm. And I just think that she, the world needs more people like her who say, Hey, you can't talk to me like that, sorry. Mm-hmm. And if you mean something negative when you come at me with I'm, oh, you're brash and you're this, that, and the other. Deal with it because that's who I am and I like who I am and I've fought really hard to be who I am.
Mm-hmm.
And she does that all in the frame of the outdoor community, which I think is just incredible. So she's definitely been a big inspiration for me. Um, she went from like an office job to writing and living in her van and I just think that that's really inspiring. 'cause she did whatever she wants, you know?
Mm-hmm. She just made it happen.
Yeah. When, when did you fall in love with the outdoors?
That's an interesting question because I don't think I've ever questioned my love of the outdoors. Mm-hmm. We camped for every vacation of my life, I swear from the time I was born. Mm-hmm. Like I remember one hotel, I think we stayed in a hotel for the first time when I was like six.
And I recall the hotel because we never did that. Yeah. Um, so. Honestly, I don't, I don't know when the moment that I fell in love with the outdoors was because I think it was always kind of an inherent part of me, which is interesting. 'cause coming from Pittsburgh, I don't think people associate that as like a very outdoorsy place.
Mm-hmm.
But my parents definitely prefer to take us camping. I think there's a lot of reasons for that. It's affordable. Mm-hmm. It is also with kids and groups, it's really easy.
Mm-hmm.
Um, but my mom was just, I mean, and my dad, but it was just always this thing that we did. Mm-hmm. And so the outdoors were always important.
Like it was just always fundamentally important to me. I enjoyed my time outside. I was a kid covered in mud and bruises and scratches because me and my best friends, even when I got to school, would spend all of our time playing in the mud. We played together and mm-hmm. Climbing trees and, mm-hmm. I don't know.
I think, and then moving to Colorado absolutely impacted that, um, because I'm surrounded by and saturated in the most outdoorsy community, maybe in the country. Mm-hmm. Um, and I think I had a best friend growing up who also inspires me every day. And she's always been like, from the time she was like seven, her name's Molly Mordo, she's incredible.
You can include her name. She's been a steward of the outdoors. Like, without even realizing what an environmentalist she was at a young age, like she got our school to implement recycling when we were in like the sixth grade, she got our school to implement composting. Like she pushed for all of these things because she saw what was happening.
Mm-hmm. Like even before. She had a, a viewing party for Inconvenient Truth. And we were, I think we were in middle school and we watched it together and, and we all cried and we talked about like what can we do to change this? Mm-hmm. And how can we change the trajectory for our planet and our lives? And that's also been a huge part of my love of the outdoors because I recognize that connecting to nature mm-hmm.
Is one of the only ways we have to teach people to care. Yeah. Yep. And unfortunately, our society is really divided and we, we are keeping people and certain segments of people by OPC. Mm-hmm. I think the L-G-B-T-Q community also gets segmented away from the outdoors.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and I think that that's completely run, completely wrong 'cause it's healing and it's powerful.
But also, like I said, the only hope we have to save this planet is to make people really love the outdoors.
So I
think that's a part of it too in my adult life, recognizing how important it is to love our planet in order and to, to experience our planet. Like really experience it, go out into nature and feel that feeling that you feel when you're alone in the woods or whatever it is.
Feeling those feelings are just, it's so important for the future of the planet that we live on.
Mm-hmm. Um, I remember you were in, um, one of the live classes. I've taught the launch camp, how to sell, what you know? Yeah. Mm-hmm. And, um, through that you created a side business that you're still working on.
Mm-hmm. What is that like, what is it, what is your goal and dreams for that? Like, what do you wanna tell people? So if you wanna tell them nothing, you can tell me. Cut it out. You're telling, you're ruining it all.
Yeah. No, it's, I, I'm happy to talk about, it's just still in its infancy and I think that's because.
I do too many things. And so that's the thing that's fallen, um, by the wayside a little bit and gets put on pause. Mm-hmm. But I created an Instagram account called Bad Outdoors Woman, and I want it to be a place for the inclusive outdoors because right now I feel on so many levels and in so many different ways the outdoor community is exclusive.
Mm-hmm. And it makes people feel as though they can't just be a part of it. Um, I hate the stigma that being outdoorsy means that you have climbed a bunch of fourteeners and have mountain mirrored and like go back country skiing and you're like this super badass. And I'm like, that's not what being an outdoor a person of the outdoors means.
Um, I think being outdoorsy. Quote unquote. Mm-hmm. Or being an outdoors man, outdoors woman is, um, is really any moment in your life when you can step out into, into, outside of the building that you live in or outside of a building, into the fresh air. Mm-hmm. And take a deep breath and appreciate how powerful that is.
So I really want that Instagram account to blossom into a place where people can not only say to themselves, oh, I can be an outdoors person, but learn basic things they need to learn so that it's not as intimidating, like
mm-hmm.
I've skied since I was five. I'm not a great skier by any means. I'm learning, but, and I like to be better.
Mm-hmm. But because I'm not great and I have insecurities surrounding my ability and that one outdoor activity, it prevents me from getting started. It prevents me from putting myself out there. Going skiing with people who I think are better than me going skiing on mountains that I think are, you know, too advanced for me, which is also silly.
Mm-hmm. Because that's, you know, knowledge of the outdoors must be shared. And I think that's really my goal for a bad outdoors woman. And the reason I called it that is because no one's a perfect outdoors person. Mm-hmm.
No one
is a perfect steward of the outdoors. I, one of the posts that I've been meeting to make, but I haven't, is how my friends and I, our favorite thing to do is just have a couple drinks outside in a beautiful place.
Mm-hmm. I don't care. Like by the creek, with a beautiful mountain in front of you. We call it scenic drinking. I think that's outdoorsy. As long as you, as long as you. Take care of your trash and recycle and you are doing the things mm-hmm. That align with leave no trace principles. Mm-hmm. Anything that you wanna go do can count.
Like, I'm tired of the, of the brick wall between any given human being and the outdoors. Like that's a non-existent wall and I wanna tear that down because some might say that me wanting to like go sit by a creek and in a beautiful place and just drink with my friends makes me a bad outdoors person, but it doesn't.
Mm-hmm. That's just a part of, that's what I like to do and I think that that's fun. That's my social, that's my social happy place. Mm-hmm. Outside in nature with my friends having a couple drinks and relaxing, listening to music like mm-hmm. That can be just as outdoorsy as backcountry skiing. Mm-hmm. And people will fight me on it all day, but I want bad outdoors women to represent that you don't have to.
Be a, an experienced through hiker to be an outdoors person and to be a steward of the outdoors and to love it. And I want people who live in the inner city to be able to be like, hell yeah, we're gonna go try this. We're gonna go on this hike in Colorado and it's gonna be totally out of our comfort zone, but it's gonna be awesome.
I want eventually to start programs. This is like big dream someday. Mm-hmm. To help inner city kids get to the outdoors, because camping is the most affordable way to travel. But because a lot of, especially kids in cities really don't get the chance and don't have the mm-hmm. The tools and the knowledge
mm-hmm.
To go
do that. They don't ever do it. And so they don't have that connection or that drive. And I, I want it to be a part of doing that healing people's fear of going out into nature. I wanna heal people, like I wanna heal myself. I wanna heal myself from being afraid to try new outdoor activities. Hmm. I really want to show the world that the outdoors is for everyone.
Yeah. Well, um, I'm excited about that because I just got my first hiking backpack ever. Ooh. Like I've never had one before. And we need it because we're currently scheduled to go to, um, I didn't wanna have a soup pie.
Oh my gosh. I'm so jealous. Yeah. That's supposed to be like the most, that's supposed to be like the most amazing backpacking trip of all time.
Right. So I'm very excited and I hope that we're allowed in by the time our reservation comes up. Um, yeah. But so yeah, so we went and got our first backpacking backpacks and it sounds so intimidating to have to carry all of your stuff in for like four days, um, until you really think about like what you actually need.
Right. And so I'm excited to like, go through that process and pull out the stuff we have in the garage and, and figure out what we need. 'cause typically we go camping, we're like car camping. Mm-hmm. And so we have like a huge tent that we set up, which I love because we have like a sleeping area and like a living area.
And um, it's big enough for the dogs and all this stuff. Um, but that will not be coming. And in fact, there have been so many festivals that Jessie and I have brought the big tent to, and we end up sleeping outside because. Why wouldn't you want to like look at the stars and, exactly. Even when we did our Zion trip, um, in September mm-hmm.
We met our friends at Leo Caro outside of Malibu, and our air mattress had popped by that point, and we had tried to repair it like 500 times and it just wasn't working. So we just slept on the ground, like in our tent with our sleeping bags. And it sounds like that would be horrible, but it wasn't at all.
It was actually totally fine. And yeah, there's a lot to the minimalist campaign option.
Well, and, and backpacking scares people because they're like, oh, I can't live without this, that, and the other. Mm-hmm. But for one, backpacking has been going on for so long mm-hmm. That the things that they make for you to take in your backpack, that get to be this small, it means mind blowing.
Yeah. I have a, a. Like a sleeping pad or a ground pad or a sleeping mat. Mm-hmm. Whatever you wanna call it, that literally packs up to this size in my backpack and it's comfortable. Mm-hmm. And also when you're doing something like that and you're hiking however many miles all day when you, by the time you lay down, you're like asleep.
Yeah. You're just done. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what you're sleeping on. But I would recommend there is, um, Brianna Meia and her best friend did that trip. Mm-hmm. And they did it like, they did it the old fashioned way. They just backpacked in just one backpack, um, for each of them. And, um, they have a packing list.
I'll have to send you the link. They have like a packing list and Oh, how they planned for their trip because it is in the desert. So you've got cold at night, but pretty hot during the day. They, there are water filling stations, like once you get inside and stuff, I wanna do it desperately. Getting a permit is so hard.
Mm-hmm. Um, but then. There's some interesting conversation about, about that trip because there are these companies that you can essentially pay or not these companies, it's, I believe it's through the reservation that it's on. You can pay to have horses trek your stuff in for you.
Yes. Doctors a really, they're very expensive.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. They're very expensive and they're also really mistreated. So there's a really interesting conversation happening about that and also about other ways that you can contribute mm-hmm. To, um, the, I, I believe it's havasu by people and, and basically contribute to their economy without renting donkeys and horses that are mistreated and putting their lives at risk.
Mm-hmm. So I'll have to send you links on both of those things. Um. But it's supposed to be an incredible, incredible, magical place, and I'm so jealous. I'm so excited for you. And you really, like when you get down to it, when it comes to backpacking, you think you need a lot of things, but I can't tell you how many camping trips I've gone on where even up to like three or four days, I just wear the same pants and the same flannel and the same t-shirt.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And yeah, you stink a little sometimes, but like whatever, and it, and, um, on that trip, you're gonna be in the water lot, so
Yeah. Well, I'm very excited because I have my switch underwear to try out for the first time also. So now that you, we, now that switch underwear exists, you can literally wear the same pants and feel fresh every day, so that's amazing.
And, um, I can't wait to talk to Isabelle, the CEO of switch because all the girls going on the trip. They also now want to get there, like switch kits and for those of you, this is the first time you've heard of it, switch underwear has like Velcro on the side. So you don't need to fully undress if you're like skiing or whatever you need to do.
Like you don't have to get fully undressed to change your underwear. It's a game changer. It's pretty incredible. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty incredible. You can use it if you cycle to work. If you're out in the like winter outdoors activities, if you're, you know, you went for, you went to yoga class and then you wanna go grab lunch with friends, like sometimes that's all like, you just feel gross and that's why you feel gross.
So, um, I'm excited to try it out. I'm the queen of having, I have. Mm-hmm.
I always take more underwear than I need anywhere I'm going. Yes. Like always. I just think it's a great rule of thumb 'cause it makes you feel so much better. Yeah. And yeah, I mean camping, I think that's like the biggest thing. It's like your pants can be dirty, who cares?
But you just want clean underwear. 'cause it's a comfort thing. Yeah, exactly. But that's awesome. I've not, I've not actually heard of them. Um, but I'm definitely gonna check 'em out because that's a really cool, especially if you're with a group and you're hiking and stuff and it's always like kind spooky in general, like to have to change when there's a bunch of people around if you don't have any cover or whatever it is.
Mm-hmm. So that's awesome. That's a great concept. Yes. Something that people need. Well
also for sure. And sometimes it's like, um, like you don't wanna have to take off like your boots and your socks and all your layers just to do that. So it's also nice to have a, like a, the ability to, to change your underwear easy.
'cause like a bra, there's all sorts of ways that people have made different ones. You can change it without having to like fully get undressed, but they mm-hmm. Underwear they haven't gotten to yet. So. Totally. Especially like
I can think of times when. Like I've car camped, for example, when I was coming to check out my house here and get a job here, I slept in my car.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and it was car camping. I had my mattress in the back and stuff, but I remember going to a bathroom at a restaurant to change. Mm-hmm. And I remember being like, this is so awkward. Like, I'm in a stall in a bathroom and I feel like people can see me. And I'm like fully undressed in here. I've got like clothes on the dirty floor.
Like, Ooh. Yeah,
exactly. And I'm not afraid of a little dirt, but like, I don't know, it's just germs and dirt are very different. Exactly. Germs and
dirt are so different. Yeah. Mm-hmm. That's an awesome product. You definitely have to check it out. Yeah.
Um, when we, you know, look at, um, who you were at age eight and what you're doing now and the life that you've created, what would 8-year-old you say to current you?
Well,
this is, this is an interesting question because I've been having this conversation with myself a lot lately.
Mm-hmm.
8-year-old me was about as precocious and fearless as a kid gets. Um, and I think 8-year-old me would probably yell at 26-year-old me. Mm-hmm. For being so scared of myself, for not putting myself out there enough for not getting started today.
Like, I am such a procrastinator because I'm afraid. I'm afraid that even if I try my best, I'll still fail. And 8-year-old me would be pissed about that. Um, she'd be like. Dude, are you kidding? 8-year-old me was like, I'm never gonna get married. I'm gonna adopt kids. Like mm-hmm. And you know, that changes as you get older.
You know, you meet somebody and that changes. Um, or just you come to understand romantic love. I mean, I don't think at eight years old I understood that.
Mm-hmm. Um,
so I certainly didn't want to, to depend on any boy.
Mm-hmm. Um,
which I don't, which I don't, she'd be proud of a couple things. Yeah. But she definitely, yeah.
But she'd definitely mostly be like, dude. Mm-hmm. You're being, you're being so soft right now. Like, she, she'd be like, she'd be like, grow up, just do it. Mm-hmm. Because I don't know when I think I'm, I'm guessing like puberty and insecurity mm-hmm. That, that era of life started to change. The way that experience made me afraid of things.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, like you don't know that you're afraid of falling when you're running around until you fall running around in the backyard and you scrape your knee. Mm-hmm. So I think that experience has taught me that there is, there are things to be afraid of, but 8-year-old me would be like, get it together.
Stop being so scared. Mm-hmm. Um, but she would be proud that I am doing what I want to do with my life and I'm not, no matter how frustrated I get, and like you've been on phone calls with me when I'm like, I'm losing it.
Mm-hmm. I
can't handle this anymore. I'm doing too many things. I feel like I'm never, I feel like I'm always like trying to pull myself up the rope.
Mm-hmm. But the rope just keeps getting longer. Um, the perpetual hamster wheel feeling I get sometimes, and I think that 8-year-old me would be proud of the fact that I pushed through that.
Mm-hmm.
And continue to push for what I want opposed to maybe what I thought I was supposed to do or what someone else thinks I'm supposed to do.
Mm-hmm.
I think my parents got really nervous when I didn't get a, a professional job Right. Outta college. But if I really think about who I am, I don't think that was ever gonna be the thing for me. Yeah. Like, I've never done things conventionally. Mm-hmm. I've never, I've never fit into the mold of what others expect.
I struggled all of my educational career until college at my tiny little private school that I went to because I was too loud and then I quote unquote, wasn't trying hard enough and I was too disruptive and I cared too much about talking to my friends. But it's just like, I look back and I'm like, I'm so glad that I am the way that I am.
And. I think the 8-year-old me would be like, you're still, you're still pretty true to you. Even if you're being a wuss and you're too scared to put yourself out there and do certain things you, you are doing, you, and you are not afraid in a way, you're still not completely afraid because you're not conforming to the expectations of others.
Because while in some ways it's important to take the feedback of the world and the people around you, I think that being true to yourself is the best tool you have. Not only to bring the people that are supposed to be in your life, to bring those people closer to you and to keep them in your life, but also to like generally have the life that you want and that you deserve.
Mm-hmm. Because if you don't, if you can't be yourself, then you're always gonna get caught up in some moment where you're like, damn, I don't wanna be here right now. Yeah.
Yeah.
And I, that's my biggest fear. So working on staying true to that.
Well, and, and I think for some people working on my te on my team or working with me as a coach, or in Jesse's case dating me, like the biggest, um, fear or frustration is that I'm gonna make that 8-year-old louder.
Right? Like, I, there's a, a term in, um, in landmark called like your act. And your act is like, who wants, it's like the ego that's protecting you, right? It wants to stay small, it wants to play it safe. And like Jesse and I have had conversation where he's like, he's like, my act hates you because like, I just, like, if I, now that I know what your 8-year-old wants, I'm like.
I cannot wait for our next phone call. No, because it's true. It's like, and it's, and listening to you talk about your 8-year-old self, it's like reminding me because I've been, as much as I'm so good at self propelling and motivating and like making the next thing happen, I still go through phases where I get frustrated that I'm not doing things big enough or fast enough or enough.
Mm-hmm. And I've been going through that, uh, this month and I think it's been a mix of like. We have so many projects overlapping, and you know, I'm, I am going through a phase of like, just being over, being in our house. Like all the, you know, I think everyone's gone through the rollercoaster of like, quarantine, right?
Yeah. And so, so much of my identity is travel and adventure and, you know, competing in these dumb lists that my friends and I have made of like the a hundred countries by 50. And I'm like, shit, I am off track. Like, we gotta go. And so I think, um, you know, like being able to acknowledge myself for how much I do do, but then having to fight this battle of like, you're not doing enough, you're not being big enough.
Like, like quit waiting for somebody else. So I heard your 8-year-old just talked to my 8-year-old and was like, you need to just start doing the shit. And I was like, Ugh. Okay, good. But it's, it's invigorating because it's a reminder to like. It's not, it doesn't have to. What I heard in that was to do the things I wanna do and not worry about having the full plan ready because just doing it.
Yeah. Because I get so stopped sometimes between wanting to do all these things and wanting to be responsible. Right. Getting caught in this space mm-hmm. Of, yeah, sure. I could easily do this business and travel the world at once, but that wouldn't really help my finances the way that I'm thinking. So, you know, having, just getting down to like what I really need to achieve those goals.
And so, um, my 8-year-old thinks you're 8-year-old.
Well, my 8-year-old is definitely, um, very present right now because I think mm-hmm. In that moment when you asked me that question, like. Weirdly, I knew you were gonna ask me that because I work with you and I know that's a question that we ask. Mm-hmm. I also hadn't thought about it today.
I just have been thinking a lot lately mm-hmm. About how that version of myself was so much more fearless. Yeah. And you know, it's such a strange feeling when you're like, I know that I am, I am trapping myself in a corner. Mm-hmm. And I'm the one that's in the way. Like I, I know that feeling and I know that's what I'm doing to myself in a lot of ways.
Mm-hmm. I
do it with getting, I do it even like with my own writing. Like I've been saying I wanna write a book, but have I started writing a book? No. I have a million notes on my phone of like short paragraphs that would maybe some, like someday go into that book. Mm-hmm. But if I actually sit down to start, there's potential I.
The potential of what that means is so scary to me. But it's time. Yeah. It's sometimes it's time to say, you know what, we gotta do it. I think that that's kind of, in a way, how I landed in Telluride is that at one point I was like, no matter how much, it's easier, no matter how much easier it is for me to stay here in Boulder with the people that are so close to my heart mm-hmm.
It's time for me to uproot and, and shift. I mean, it's time for the soil to turn like I need. Mm-hmm. Some change. And I kind of impulsively, like I'm very impulsive.
Mm-hmm.
And I think sometimes the impulsive part of me and the anxious. Procrastinator are like constantly like fighting each other. Yes. And sometimes the impulsive part wins.
Mm-hmm. And that's how I ended up here. In some ways. I think in some ways that's how I ended up here.
I'm imagining that your impulsive part wins by like gagging and tying up the other person, like throwing them in the trunk and just taking them along mm-hmm.
Fully.
Yeah. Yep. We had a whole conversation in one of the, um, either Thrive group calls or the Rise and Thrive, and we were talking about the personalities that we have and being able to identify them so we can like tell them when they need to cut it out.
Right. And so I, I posted a whole thing in the Thrive Chat about like, who, who some of mine are. Like I know that I have an inpatient imaging. She wanted everything done like two weeks ago. And then I definitely have like, uh, I think I called her like direct Debbie, but I also have fix it. Fran Franny, who like, that's how I do my whole business.
Like she wants to fix everything. Everyone and all these personalities have like a yin and a yang, right? Because, because I have the fix it personality, I'm able to fix things and businesses and people and coach and do all this stuff, but the fix it person doesn't always ask permission first, which is how I can get in trouble.
So like, seeing all your people, they're all there to help you, right? I would not be where I am today without them, but I also need to remember when to tell them, like, okay, everything's fine. This is not your place. Like, I'll call you tomorrow and like, put them over here because, um, otherwise, like, you know, my siblings know when all of them show up together and that's gonna become like, you know, the, the, uh, what is it the.
It's a beneficial dictator, benevolent dictator, that's the right word, right? Oh yeah. Where I'm very good as a, as a firstborn, big sister, natural leader to just become a benevolent dictator if I'm left unchecked. So they've experienced that person. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And
you know, it's interesting 'cause as a child, I don't think I would've ever considered myself bossy.
Mm-hmm.
As an adult, I recognize that my anxious nature like totally takes over. Mm-hmm. And starts to tell people what to do because I'm like, I need it done this way. Yeah. And so I'm gonna be bossy.
Mm-hmm.
And definitely control is like an interesting thing for me. Um, it's so, it's just interesting to hear you say that because I don't know that I would be classified as a benevolent dictator, but.
Depending on the scenario, I think I could, yeah. Um, because I control helps my, helps me to feel less anxious. Mm-hmm. Like, yeah. I need my house to be in order. It's a thing for me. Yeah. It's a huge thing for me, but I also, as direct as I can be, I also get nervous that I'm gonna like, hurt someone's feelings by telling 'em to do something differently, so I just do it myself.
Mm-hmm. That's one of my like, like, I want you to do this for me, because that's a fair thing to ask for you to do this thing, but I'm afraid that if I ask you to do it, you're not gonna do it how I want it done. So I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna shortcut all that and I'm gonna do it myself, and that's something that I gotta work on.
Well, and it fits so perfectly because we're literally gonna talk about that in the team building workshop because that's what happens to so many, um, so many female entrepreneurs or female leaders, is we don't wanna be. We don't wanna be bossy. We don't wanna be the asshole boss. We don't wanna be the micromanager, and we have an expectation.
So it's like, how do you ever win? Um, getting people on your team to do the actions that you want them to. Mm-hmm. And how do you go about that? Right. Like, I coach so many clients on that exact thing, like, you know, um, whether it's people who like, aren't checking their work Exactly. Or people who are on their phones too much, or, um, somebody who just like doesn't seem to get it.
And all these, all these people who are in that position, the work still needs to get done. They're like, Ugh, I'll just do it. And then they're working 90 hours and they hate their job that they made for themselves. Right. So it's really is this whole cycle and a little preview for everyone listening. Um, to me the most important thing to do, and actually it got quoted from when we had, uh, Jessica, um, Asaf on from Prima.
Mm-hmm. She has this great quote in her podcast episode that says The best thing I ever did as an entrepreneur was be really honest about myself. And it's not to myself, it's about myself. And so, right. Um, I mean, I've told you a hundred times like, I want things this way. Here's what I want it. If this is crazy, you, you, I empower you to tell me I'm crazy.
And like, I don't, I don't think most bosses are saying like, I empower you to tell me when I'm insane. But that's, that's one of the options I give people Right. To like, check me because I'll ask for the world and then some, and because in my mind it's totally doable. But I know that car speed and my world does not always exist for other people.
Well, and in a way it's like we, I think there's some of that in all of us. Mm-hmm. Because, you know, whatever, whatever our things are, yeah. Whatever our skillset and our true passions sometimes. Sometimes we're the magician. Yeah. And then we need other people to also be a magician. But that's not their, that's not where they are a magician.
That's not the part of life in which they are a magician. Right. So like, I'll never forget when I was in college and I was studying advertising and we were talking about people that succeed in this business, and I think we were actually in New York. Mm-hmm. It was after I graduated and we were in New York for the one show.
Mm-hmm. And
we had all entered a bunch of stuff in the one show, and we were doing a bunch of agency visits. And I actually believe it was the, like, CD of that agency that said, he was like, you know, I don't think that there are people that are just naturally born good at this. And you know, maybe there are.
Mm-hmm. Maybe there's a couple of those people, but most of us just work really, really hard at it. And so I think there's, there's like a couple, there's like a, a balancing scale. Of people that are really, really good at one thing. Mm-hmm. Or a couple things I say, that's their, that's where they're magician in life.
Yes. Mm-hmm. And then there's people who work really, really hard to do that thing because they love it. Yes. And so it's always this balance of like finding people who are the magician in that way, but also people that are, or people that are willing to work as hard as it takes to do that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
And so, you know, I think you and I have some similar mindsets in that I think we're both mm-hmm. I wanna achieve this goal and I see this strategy and I see it this way and this is how I want it to happen. Mm-hmm. But I don't always know what I am the magician, and when I'm the person that's working really, really hard at it.
Mm-hmm.
And I think that's kind of the challenge of building a team, right. Because you, you never know if someone wants to do that because it's their. What's the word? Your zone of genius, like Yes. Mm-hmm. Um, I don't, I don't know if marketing is my zone of genius, but I want, I want to learn. Mm-hmm. You know?
Mm-hmm. And so it's just interesting. It's interesting to think about all the different ways that someone can be really good at something. And I definitely am guilty of maybe not in the business sense or in my career sense, maybe more so back when I was in school or in, when it comes to like things around my house or things with friendship where because I do things a certain way and in a certain time period or in a certain, uh, timeline, I expect others to sometimes be able to do it in the same way or to inherently know that that's how I need it.
Yes. And. That's an interesting communication conundrum in a way.
Yeah. 'cause there's like being, to your point, there's being honest in what are your strengths. Mm-hmm. But also being honest in, these are my weaknesses or blind spots and these are my neuroses. Like I, the, I, I have to just be honest that like these things bother me if they're not done either at all.
Mm-hmm. Or my way. 'cause then at least people know that I'm not judging them. Like I really know that I own the neurosis. Like, you know, I have to, and this is where I practice, like giving things off as well. And it's dumb things like my mother has the way she wants the dishwasher. Like set to be the most efficient way.
That's sweet. Yeah. But, and, and, and I didn't think I had a dishwasher thing until I saw Jesse load a dishwasher. And I'm like, who taught you how to load a dishwasher? Like both, like, what are you doing? And so, yeah, so whether it's how the dishes are done or how an email sent or how, like, I know I'm particular, so now I just tell people I'm particular and here's what my thing is.
This is what this, and I also work really hard to look at what are the things that I really care about so I can give people space to be themselves in that space. So, mm-hmm. Like the dishes, like I really just care that they're done and I didn't do them. So I'm willing to let go how they're happening in the meantime.
Um, but there's other things that like judging right? When is it, when is it just getting it done that matters more or getting it done this specific way and. Yeah. That's, that's the biggest gap. Like if people know how they're being measured and what the expectations are, whether it's personal or business, at least they know what the rules are.
Does it, we can still laugh right. At the rules are dumb. I know they're dumb, but that's still gonna bother me. Right, right. It's, it's just so interesting 'cause mm-hmm.
I, I've noticed that I have a difficult time letting go of some of the things that shouldn't matter. Yeah. So you're talking about the dishwasher.
That's one of my things with everyone I've ever lived with. If we have had, if we've had a dishwasher, I, I don't know if anyone can load it. Right. And then, and then I had a conversation the other day about how I actually think that the people that design the inside of a dishwasher mm-hmm. Don't know what they're doing.
Yep. Sometimes those people dunno what they're doing. I decided that, I'm like, who am I? And then, but it's things for me like. Perfect example is my boyfriend always asks if he can help clean when I'm cleaning the house. Mm-hmm. When I clean the bathroom, is there anything I can do? And I'm like, you know what?
I gotta do it my way, but it's so dumb. Mm-hmm. It's so dumb. It's so dumb of me. Maybe that's his law. Language is, but for me, like self care is clean house like
mm-hmm.
So it's so funny. Like that shouldn't matter and I should let him clean it his way, but I just can't. I just have it let go of it. But then, yeah, it's just an interesting conversation to have with yourself because learning about the things that we should let go of versus the things that we can and actually do, let go of and allow other people to do.
Mm-hmm. That's just, that's a real big
lesson. Mm-hmm. Like it's really tough. Yeah. And I think it's ongoing too. 'cause there's, now that you and everyone listening is gonna be looking for, what can we let go and like, let, let have peace with, um, you find things that are easier to let go sooner. And sometimes the things that you're letting go are even things that you think you are supposed to do, but really don't wanna do.
For example, Jesse's embarrassed that I don't wash my car more often. Like the outside of it, the inside of my car is always clean 'cause I don't keep anything in it. Like anything that goes in comes back out every time. Um, but he gets embarrassed. I don't like wash my car every weekend. I don't know why that's one of his neuroses.
So now like I just let him take it when he went, when he's, when it's bothering him, he can go take my car and wash it fine for me. Like, it doesn't bother me one way or the other. Yeah. It takes a while for it to be a, a bother for myself. Um, and. It's just knowing like this, these matter to me, these things don't, and they're not significant.
Right. The dishwasher is not significant in how our life goes. Um, nope. But like having, you know, I'm gonna give your boyfriend some credit because I don't know if I've ever had a partner who's asked to help me clean. And I don't know if that's because they knew I'd have specific instructions or if they've just never noticed task.
Yeah. I mean, in fairness, bash and I have been cohabitating since the, the beginning of the pandemic and while he has an apartment of his own mm-hmm. It's like a bedroom that in a shared apartment. Mm-hmm. So because I have kind of my own space, we've chosen to stay here 'cause we have more privacy and a little more freedom.
But he also knows. I think that comes from him knowing me really well, and he knows that cleaning is an anxiety activity for me. Like, it's like a, I'm having a panic attack, so I'm gonna deep clean the bathroom. Yep. That's, that's like a real thing in this house. And he recognizes it. And I think part of it's just he wants to help me feel better, but he doesn't really know how, so he just asked if he could clean, which is so lovely.
And I was like, I really appreciate you. You can vacuum for me. That'd be great. Yeah. Um, but it's, it's just, it's funny, like we have these intricate, you know, facets of our personality, whether you wanna call 'em neuroses or personality traits, you know, tomato, tomato. But I definitely think it, it is interesting because I've ne he's the first partner I've ever had that he would even care.
Mm-hmm. You know,
I think, I think that's a, it's an interesting thing and, and you know, that maybe your partners in life have been like, I. That's a bear that I don't know if I should poke. I don't know if I should like Right. I think I should let her go, you know? Mm-hmm. But it's just interesting how we all communicate so differently and
mm-hmm.
Definitely one of my communication skills to my people who know me. If I start neurotically cleaning, something's up. Yeah. I'm freaking out. Mm-hmm. Which is why it's clean on Sundays. Yeah, I clean on Sundays because I'm so anxious and it makes me feel so much better. Mm-hmm. And then we sit on the couch on Sunday night and I'm like,
it's
all
good.
Yes, yes, yes. I'm, I also, I don't have the Sunday anxiety thing, but I do have the, I want everything done and then I can relax that sigh. I share that side totally with a different perspective. Mm-hmm. Totally. Everyone has their, their things. Yes, yes. Um, so we ask everybody on the podcast where you score yourself on the powerful lady scale, zero being average, everyday human, and 10 being the most powerfully in the universe.
Um, where would you score yourself on average, and where would you score yourself today?
Oh, um, this is a hard question for me. It makes me a little anxious. Um, because I think on average, my perspective on myself is that I'm like a two or a three. But today, having this conversation, and with a lot of things that have been going on in my life, I'm feeling a little bit more like a four or five.
Mm-hmm. And that's not because, that's not because I'm like hating on myself. I think it's more of like a, where I wanna be mm-hmm. Versus where I recognize I am in that, on that scale or on that spectrum or on that journey or path. Like, I would say on the path to where I wanna be and who I wanna be, and the level of a powerful lady that I want to be in life.
If, if that's a one to 100%, I'm hovering around 20% right now. Like I'm making good progress.
Mm-hmm.
But I'm not, I'm, I'm, I'm very much in the beginning of my journey to be the power lady that I wanna be.
There's no wrong answers. Mm-hmm.
So yeah, two or three on a regular day, but today I'm feeling like I'm hovering maybe closer to 40% on the 100%.
I like percents more than hard numbers.
That's okay. We'll take it. We'll take it. Uh, well, so for everyone who is now, um, on Team Shay and wants to know how to follow you, support you, um, all connect with you, where are places that they can, they can do that?
So you can follow both of my Instagram accounts.
It's gonna be Shay Lalo at Shay Lalo and at Bad Outdoors Woman. Um, that's where I like to do a lot of my communicating. Mm-hmm. Um, if you're interested in hiring a writer or an editor, you can always email me and that's just shayla plass@me.com. Um, yeah, I mean, I just would love to like, interact with people and if anyone has questions for me or.
Wants to know where they should go backpacking in Colorado or who they should talk to about their first ski trip or whatever it is. Mm-hmm. How to build a fire because that was the basis of bad outdoors women in the first place. Mm-hmm. Just message me, I'm, I'm always, my phone's always right here and
yeah.
Awesome. And if they wanna know the way that they fit into the powerful ladies universe the best, can they ask you that too?
Absolutely. You can ask me any questions you have about powerful ladies. Mm-hmm. Um, anything you wanna know. If you wanna be a guest, you can contact me. If you wanna know, if you should join Thrive, you can contact me.
Um, if you, and, and really any question you have about powerful ladies, I feel like
I can answer any question you got. I love it. Well, Shay, thank you so much for being a yes to Powerful Ladies Being a Yes to me two years ago and every day since. And, um, yeah, it's just nice to share, uh, a fun conversation with you on a Sunday.
Thank you so much. So fun. Thanks, Kara.
Thank you for listening to today's episode. All the ways to connect with Sheyy are in our show notes@thepowerfulladies.com slash podcast. There you can also leave comments and ask questions about this episode. Do you want more powerful ladies? Come join us on Instagram at Powerful Ladies, where you can also find free downloads to start being powerful today.
Subscribe to this podcast and help us connect with more listeners by leaving us a five star rating and review. If you're looking to connect directly with me, visit kara duffy.com. I'd like to thank our producer, composer, and audio engineer Jordan Duffy. Without her, this wouldn't be possible. You can follow her on Instagram at Jordan K.
Duffy. We'll be back next week with a brand new episode. Until then, I hope you're being powerful in your life. Go be awesome and up to something.
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Instagram: @shaelaplace @badoutdoorswoman
LinkedIn: shae-laplace
Email: shaelaplace@me.com
Created and hosted by Kara Duffy
Audio Engineering & Editing by Jordan Duffy
Production by Amanda Kass
Graphic design by Anna Olinova
Music by Joakim Karud
