Episode 137: Speaking Truth & Finding Peace | Monika McKenzie | Owner of The Yoga Nest Hawaii
Monika McKenzie is the owner of The Yoga Nest, the only Black-owned yoga studio in Hawaii, where she blends physical practice with grounding, spiritual, and trauma-releasing work. She’s also a passionate social justice advocate who refuses to stay silent in the face of injustice, even when it means standing alone. Her journey spans Phoenix, Oakland, Detroit, and Hawaii, weaving together motherhood, entrepreneurship, and activism. Monika shares how yoga became her path to healing, why speaking up is non-negotiable, and how she finds balance through community, self-care, and honest conversations about race and equity. This episode offers inspiration for anyone looking to align their purpose with their actions while protecting their peace.
“If racism is alive and well, as it is, we have to do the work to break that down and say no more. ”
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Follow along using the Transcript
Chapters:
00:00 – How Monika Found Yoga and Built The Yoga Nest
02:32 – From New Mom to Yoga Studio Owner in Hawaii
05:00 – Why Yoga Is More Than Physical Practice
08:00 – Combining Spiritual Grounding with Trauma Release
12:00 – Owning the Only Black-Owned Yoga Studio in Hawaii
16:57 – Speaking Out Against Injustice, Even When It’s Lonely
20:00 – Building Community Through Yoga and Advocacy
25:00 – The Role of Yoga in Social Justice Movements
29:00 – Balancing Activism, Motherhood, and Entrepreneurship
34:00 – Root Chakra Work for Grounding and Resilience
38:00 – How to Find Peace Without Losing Your Voice
42:00 – Lessons from Leading During Times of Crisis
47:00 – Books and Teachers Who’ve Shaped Her Path
50:00 – Staying Rooted While Creating Change
I had always felt called to speak up about injustices, so even when I was a child, and I would do it at the, at the expense of feeling really lonely. Mm-hmm. Because a lot of times it, it wouldn't be well, well received. It's like the Kaepernick Syndrome. That feeling of like, wait, I'm in the right here. Why is everyone making me feel like I am wrong?
That's Monica McKenzie and this is The Powerful Ladies Podcast.
Hey guys, I'm your host Kara Duffy, and in this episode I'm excited for you to meet Monica Mackenzie, owner of the Yoga Nest, a yoga studio based in Hawaii. In addition to being an entrepreneur, a mom, and a yogi, she's also a social justice advocate. In this episode, we discuss her journey to yoga entrepreneur, why she can't help but speak up when she sees something wrong in the world.
And how she finds balance and rejuvenation to step into her power for herself, her family, and her community. Before we jump into this episode, I want to invite you to join my group coaching membership called Thrive. It is built for entrepreneurs who are looking for a coach and a community to take their business to the next level.
In your membership, you get weekly group coaching live with me monthly workshops that will help level up your business, plus all sorts of tools, worksheets, downloads, everything you need. Available 24 7 online to help your business go where you wanna take it. Next, join now. Sign up@learn.karaduffy.com.
Welcome to the Powerful Ladies Podcast. Hi. Hi. Thanks for having me. I'm really excited to talk to you today. Let's jump right in. Please tell everyone your name, where you're based in the world and what you're up to.
Yeah. Um, my name is Monica McKenzie. I am currently just visiting my mom in Phoenix, but I'm based in Kalo Oona, Hawaii.
Um, what was the second question? I'm a new mom.
New
mom And you own
And I, and I own a yoga studio called The Yoga Nest. Yes, of course. That's why we're here. Um, I own a yoga studio called the Yoga Nest in, in Kona where I live, and I've had that for three years.
And I heard that it's the only black owned yoga studio in Hawaii.
Yes. I can't find, I I was told that, and then I was told that there might be one other, and I haven't been able to figure that out.
So it's either one of two or the only one. Yeah. I love that. Yeah.
Well, how did you get into owning a yoga studio?
Um, well. I would say that I first fell in love with yoga. So that was sort of like the path that I chose to, to take alongside of working other jobs. But then I knew that I was more passionate about, about yoga and being able to heal for other people and get out of it, what it gave to me.
Um, and so I had been teaching for six years and we moved, my husband and I moved from California to Hawaii. And um, there was only really one other studio, uh, two studios. Both were like primarily hot yoga, which is not what I practice. Um, it's not really the style that has resonated with me. And so I chose to, we saw the space and I said, yes, like I just wanna open this studio.
'cause my husband had sort of been like, you should do this. And I was kinda like, I don't know. I don't know. And um, we did and we opened it. It was open a year and a half before the pandemic hit, and it's still open. Thankfully, I feel very thankful we've made it through kind of the, the hardest part of, of the last year and a half.
But, um, but yeah, it was, it was really well received pretty early on, and so that's sort of how that unfolded. I love
that. And how did you first get introduced to yoga?
Oh, anxiety. Um, I had, like many of us, I feel like I had just had a lot of like childhood trauma that I didn't ever acknowledge or recognize.
Mm-hmm. Um, until I was outta the house. And then around 20, 21 years old, I started having like debilitating anxiety where I would have panic attacks and I would just constantly be like trembling and feeling like. I couldn't breathe properly. And I had done yoga like a couple of times before, but never really seriously.
And I was on medication from the doctor and I, it just didn't feel nothing was wrong with it. And I am like, if medication helps people, like I'm all for it. Um, for me it just didn't feel, I didn't feel like myself. And so I was like, I, I gotta try something else out. Let me go to yoga three times a week and just see if that helps.
And it completely just changed everything, my outlook on life. I was able to sort of like verbalize the trauma that had happened in my life, um, and move through it. Mm-hmm. Rather than like holding it in, which I think is why the whole anxiety thing happens a lot of times.
Yeah. And when we talk about trauma, there's big T and there's little t.
And if you don't mind sharing, like where on the spectrum were you, were you in the, a little t space? Were you in the Big T space? A combo of all of it.
And, um, I'm unfamiliar what you mean with those terms, so I just don't Oh, sure.
No, great. I'm sure people listening don't know either. So Big T is like what we would traditionally call a trauma, like abuse or a death of a parent.
Um, something that we would consider significant and I'm quoting mm-hmm. Significant. And then a little t is the stuff that just happens to humans of, you know, not being picked for a team and you know, having something, leaving an imprint on us that left us less confident or having the anxiety or nervous to do something.
So we forget that those small things leave an imprint just like the big things do. Right. And so often the reason I ask where you were on the scale is because I think when we hear the word trauma, we're slowly getting better as a culture. But most people think like, oh, if you had childhood trauma, there must have been something really big that happened.
And I think that's a misconception that I want more people to get. That we have things in our past that we need to deal with that are on the little t scale most of the time. Like Yeah. Yeah. It's not just the big things that we need to go back and work through.
Yeah. I was, I was pretty sure that's where you were going with it, but I just wanted to clarify in case I, I wasn't on, um, so good question.
I think it's important to say that I was at the eldest child in my family. Mm-hmm. And I love my parents. And so I hope if they listen to this, that they know that I love them so much, and that in many ways they were such wonderful parents, but I had a very emotionally unsafe home life. Mm-hmm. Because I was the oldest, I sort of shouldered it all.
Yeah. And tried to like shield my little sister from it. Um, but we had some, some big tea moments. I would say like three pretty big tea moments that were dragged out and then. I experienced a lot of little tea stuff, not just from my family, but from like socializing at school and mm-hmm. Um, generally speaking though, I think it was, it was a combination of all of that.
And I, I think when I started to unpack what I had experienced, it was the big tea things that were at the forefront, right? Yeah. And then I was like wearing it on my sleeve, like, this is what I've been through and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Before it was able to like settle into and integrate into like the person that I am now, in a way where it doesn't, I don't have to wear it out loud, you know?
Yeah. Um, and it's actually in the last few years that I'm starting to recognize how much little t stuff sort of was there and, and I'm trying to sift through that now. Mm-hmm. And it's been, in many ways, it's almost a little bit more challenging 'cause it's like learned behavior and learned processing that is so quick and, and you don't even recognize it.
Um. Yeah, I mean, yoga's been helping with that too. It's just, it's just, uh, a lot of that stuff that I, I really kept in to try and like be strong and, you know, you know how all their siblings are, I guess you're speaking to younger siblings experience trauma too, but it's just a different role that you play, I think when, when there's no other option.
Yeah. And of course that's not the case for every eldest sibling, but I'm the oldest of four. Hmm. And you, you are like a mini parent, whether you want to be or not. You can't help it 'cause you love them and care about them and you're automatically in that second parent role.
Yeah. And then for me that was exacerbated because my parents were sort of dealing with a lot of their own stuff.
Mm-hmm. Um, so it required me to sort of step up in a way that maybe I was a little too young for.
Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Um. Well, the idea of owning a yoga studio in Hawaii sounds so magical. And is it as magical as it sounds? And, and or do you struggle just like every other business owner?
Oh, well, of course I struggle just like any other business owner and, um, especially in, given what's been going on, we've mm-hmm, for sure struggled.
And I was actually pregnant. I was 10 weeks pregnant when the pandemic hit, so Oh my goodness. It was, it was a lot, it was a lot of compounding factors of, of like survival happening at the same moment. Um, I will say though, that it is pretty magical living in Hawaii and, and owning a yoga studio and, and just having that community there and, um, mm-hmm everyone's, have you been to Hawaii?
No, it's the one state I haven't been to. Oh. Oh, okay. Well. Should go whenever you get a chance. Maybe not right now. There's a lot going on, but when things settle down, um, it's a super abundant place and it's relaxed. And I remember as a child, we went on vacation there twice and I was like, this is life.
Like this is what life should be for everyone. And um, as far as just the magic of it all, the proximity to nature, um, the lifestyle is not stressful. And then, so I had had it in my head that I wanted to move there because of when I was a child, like up until I was an adult. But, so yes and no. I, it is magical.
I love it so much and absolutely I'm still running a business and I still have to pay rent and do all of those things, so. Mm-hmm. It comes with stressors as well.
Well, it's like the. So many yoga studios are more than just a yoga practice place, right? They're a community hub. They have shops in them in some capacities.
They, they really become the center of the community. And I, and it's almost like there's two business models in one. How do you, how do you be a community senator and how do you run a fitness based business?
What was that first question? I think it cut out a little,
oh, sorry. It was, you know, it's, owning a yoga studio is often really running two businesses in one uhhuh, one as a center for community and the other as a fitness-based business.
Mm-hmm. And it's an interesting hybrid that I don't think most studio owners get to see that, like, there really are two parts to it. Um, yeah. Mm-hmm.
Yeah. It, it is both things. I really kind of resist calling yoga fitness, even though I know that there is a fitness and physical aspect to it. Um, what I have gotten from the practice and what.
I still continue to get outta the practice and sort of like the path that I continue to build upon mm-hmm. Becomes less physical as I get older. It's really mentally and spiritually so important and grounding and healing. Um, and the studio though, that I, I own, we don't practice hot yoga. Mm-hmm. Um, even though you will sweat and it is physical and we practice Asana, the instructors and myself, we, we try to weave in a lot of the like, breath work, the philosophy, the, the, the parts about it that, you know, the other eight limbs, there's eight limbs of yoga, the other seven limbs, um, aside from the physical postures and, and the community that has come really resonates with that too.
So like, has wanted that and there wasn't an option like that in my town. So, um. It is a different, it is. It's different than just being like a gym. Yes. It's people that they're releasing trauma. A lot of times they're Big T, little T like all of it. And you know, it's a space for that purpose. Mm-hmm. In addition to making people sweat.
Yeah. Well I love that you brought that up. So I had the pleasure a year ago, roughly to get my 200 hour certification, but through a psychotherapeutic yoga program. Oh, nice. Which was amazing. I highly recommend it. I'll have to connect you to them. It's called Yoga Zma, and it's built by therapists who fell in love with yoga and wanting to combine it and bring the neuroscience and the mental health into the practice more.
'cause as you said, so many people don't realize that yoga is not doing the poses like it is, but it's one eighth of the whole experience of what's under the yoga umbrella and so many people. Are using it as fitness only, and they're not. Yeah. I like, I'm like, I almost want people to not go for fitness and like see what else shows up.
Like,
totally. And for some people that's how they enter the practice, you know, they want like to look a certain way or whatever. Yeah. So they go in and maybe they find that it's different, but mm-hmm. I do feel like there is, I'm in Phoenix right now too and it's been a little eye-opening to see like where yoga has gone.
'cause here it's like all hot, all fitness oriented and it's also a hundred plus degrees outside some class. Anyone? Yeah. Doing more hot yoga. Yeah. Talk about like, Pitta, Pitta, Pitta on fire, but, um mm-hmm. But I have found a few studios here that are like really grounded in the practice too and into that, um, into opening it up the spaces that are beyond the physical for students.
Have you seen a lot more students since the pandemic looking for that side of yoga more?
Um, it's a little hard to to say because Hawaii has gone through such waves with this pandemic. We really never got hit too hard with COVID the first time around, the first lockdown. And so unfortunately now it's sort of reaching its peak with this Delta variant.
Um mm-hmm. And so a lot of our students, many people have come back. I think many people are still hesitant, understandably so. Um, but I do feel like we are all in some ways in this period of like PTSD from the pandemic mm-hmm. While still going through it. Yeah. That, that people are wanting. Yes. There's been.
A response to like, wanna be back in community and be back in a space where they, they can heal and, and, um, you know, it's, I understand. I'm also in that space too.
It's hard not to be Right. It's impacting everything.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Yeah. Well plus on top of it, we had so many layers of cultural crises all happening at once.
Mm-hmm.
Um, how did everything that occurred with Black Lives Matter impact you and how did it impact Hawaii as well?
Yeah, so there aren't a ton of us in Hawaii, but there are more than you would think. Like, I remember moving, I was like, I wonder if I'm gonna be like the only one. Um, but there's a polo project.
Polo means black in Hawaiian. There's a. A group in Hawaii, in Oahu that is like a community group for black people living in Hawaii. And, um, there's a BLM chapter. I have a friend who does the big island chapter of it. So there's a handful of that. It was very interesting. Um, with, with George Floyd's murder, I was really upset at the lack of, of, um, vocalizing how absolutely horrific mm-hmm.
What was going on is and has always been racism. Mm-hmm. Um, and I spoke about that on my Instagram and it got into the hands of Sean Korn, who's a, who's a very well known yogi. She reposted it. I, I said something about, you know, you guys need to show up, like the yoga community needs to show up mm-hmm.
Because of why is it quiet and this is what, this is what the practice is like. We can talk all day about. Triangle pose this, that and the other. But, but if we're here to heal, then we need to heal and mm-hmm. There is a lot of healing that needs to be done. So why is everyone so quiet? And it kind of went like mini viral in the yoga community.
Um, and from there I sort of had a platform to talk about the intersection of, of yoga and, and social justice. And I feel really passionately about that. Um, since I was a kid, I've, I've always been fascinated by, this is gonna sound so strange, but like, I was fascinated by the Holocaust. I was fascinated by slavery.
I couldn't under, I couldn't understand how things like that mm-hmm. That are so absolutely awful. Could just take hold and be accepted widely, um, yeah. Amongst societies. And so, and then I'm biracial, so my dad's black. My mom is white. My mom grew up in inner city Detroit, in a, a black neighborhood. And my dad grew up in New York.
Um. And then I grew up in Oakland, so very progressive. Mm-hmm. Um, but I had always felt called to speak up about injustices, so even when I was a child, and I would do it at the, at the expense of feeling really lonely mm-hmm. Because a lot of times it, it wouldn't be well received. Um, you know, it's hard to, it's like the Kaepernick syndrome.
Yeah. Colin Kaepernick, I very much understand, not at all on his level, but like that feeling of like, wait, I'm, I'm in the right here. Mm-hmm. Why is everyone making me feel like I am wrong? Right. And so I kind of have always been that person in some capacity because my heart bleeds so much, I just can't not say anything.
Mm-hmm. Um, but then this now. This intersection with yoga. I've really found a voice in this and also been well received, um, because I think people wanna learn more and I've always mm-hmm. Studied and wanted to know more about black history and my history and our ancestry and all of that stuff. So it was a very natural thing for me to have those two things come together.
But it was difficult to, to, um, you know, many people in yoga like want inner peace, this, that and the other. And, and to bring something up like this feels like a disrupt, a disruption of peace. Mm-hmm. For many. So there's that, um, resistance and wanting to bypass it, and that's not okay. Not that inner peace isn't okay, but if systemic injustices are happening, or you know, racism is alive and well, which it is, we have to do the work to, to break that down and to say no more.
Well, and it's, you can't, you can't be a true yogi if you're not walking the walk. Right. That's part of the, the principles. And if no one, if one person doesn't have inner peace, nobody does. Right? Yeah. And I, and I think that's where there's so much that everyone as an individual deals with, you know, like we said before, the big T little tree that you get in your own life, but then there's also the pressures and just like life, like we have this decision fatigue that is overwhelming us, but that's not an excuse to, to step over.
Mm-hmm. What's happening. Mm-hmm. Right. And it's, I think it's, I'm glad that more, I see more people in the yoga community saying that it's not okay than in other communities collectively. And maybe I just happen to know really amazing people in the yoga community. But yeah, it's really interesting.
Mm-hmm.
I think it's becoming like, no longer acceptable to bypass the way that the, that yoga, I mean, it's still doing it, but if you were on Instagram, like it would just be like poses and some flowery quote Yeah. From Rumi and this, that, and the other. And it, it's, it's like, okay, but what's really happening? Like, let's talk about what's going on.
And I just am a type of person where like, I can't not talk about it if I see it in front of me or if I know what's going on. I want peace for everybody.
Yeah. Well, and peaceful. We need more peaceful people so that we can actually feel it. Right. Like we can have, you know, whatever level of internal peace we can get to, but.
It won't be real out in the real world if it we're in that by ourselves. No. Yeah. And I don't know if we can feel it internally if it's still out there. I mean, I agree with you, the, the shock and horror of like, how can humans be so horrible to each other? Back to the, you know, where you were obsessed as a kid of learning about these horrific large cultural events.
Mm-hmm. Like
how can we just be that mean to another person who we can look in their eyes and like see them as a person If we pause for a second, um, yeah, I, I don't, I don't get it. Um, and I can also understand how it happens because it keeps happening and, you know, it's, I go back and forth personally through these weird spaces of understanding that everyone's dealing with something themselves and it's always a cause and reaction space.
And at the same time being like, how can you be so unaware that you are the contribution?
Yeah. Yeah. It is, it's wild. And it does keep happening in, in our day and age. It happens more on a subtle scale for the most part. Obviously last week there was the awful horse horseback ride whipping the, the refugees.
I, I mean like, just the thing, like I couldn't, I think about being that person on the horse and I'm like, how could you, like, how could your heart allow you to act in such a way where you're looking people in the eyes who are literally risking their lives to just survive and to have a better one and to treat them that way.
Like it doesn't. Mm-hmm. I can't, I can't put myself in those shoes. And, um, and a lot of people were in some way in those shoes and a lot of people were in the shoes of, you know, when Jim Crow was around, like, I see it, but I'm not gonna say anything. Mm-hmm. Right. I see it, but what can I do? That's just the way things are.
And, um, I'm also an Aquarius, so I'm like, all right, this isn't working. Like let's
burn it down. Yep. Yeah. No, it's, it's, well, I, I think also there's a privilege that those of us who know we can, we can be, cause in the matter have, and like when I'm, I for, I have to remember that I have that privilege myself because I'll forget.
I'm like, doesn't everyone know that we can just change things? Doesn't everyone know that we can just create what we want? And I have to kind of get brought back down to remember that most people don't like, it's weird to think that way. Yeah. And it's a smaller percentage of people who think they can be cause of the matter and are capable to do such versus those that do otherwise.
I don't think most people have black hearts, but if, if everyone was just ignoring that, I'd be like, oh my gosh, I, I am worried about humanity. Right,
right, right. Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting. And it's, um, you know, we do, we do have, we have to be the catalyst for change on so many different levels, and we as human beings do have that capacity.
Mm-hmm. Um, and I think that it is, it is up to the people with privilege to bring up those who do not have it. And so, for instance, like I am black, but I am also half white. And so I have privilege even within my blackness mm-hmm. Where I can enter into spaces in a different way than somebody who, who isn't biracial.
And, um, it's important for me to honor that I can bring people up and bring people's voices in. Who experience racism to a much deeper extent than I have in my life, even though I have experienced racism in many, many, many, many way ways. Um, but, but yeah, there's just, there's the, the onus is on those who have the ability to, you know, have like a, this is gonna sound hippie, like a stable root chakra.
Yes. Mm-hmm. You know, like where you're not worrying about where your food's coming from or, um, or if you can get diapers for your child or anything like that. Like, those are never issues that I thankfully have to worry about. Mm-hmm. But I feel for people who do. Yeah. And I want to help that that community of people or those people rise up.
Mm-hmm. And that's not just a race thing that's just, you know, that's a poverty thing. But the two are intersected in many ways.
And there, there's, uh, that's the new phrase, right? Uh, intersection. Mm-hmm. That when we have to look at people as individuals, we have to look at everything that makes that person up to see what they are or could be dealing with.
I was reading a really interesting book called The All or Nothing Marriage, and it's about how to have a great marriage and what that looks like. And I was, uh, attracted to it more because it was talking about the history of marriages and how it's changed and how that ties into Maslow's hierarchy of needs and how we keep going up the levels.
Mm-hmm. And kind of, you know, if, and this ties back to what you were saying I promised. So if marriages are now moving to a place where we expect, uh, to, to become our best selves versus just survive and have a partner to work or farm with, like now it's like this high level. Uh, step in Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
And so we put so much pressure on the relationships versus before it'd be like, oh, I'm alive. Cool. Like, we're good. Thanks. Yeah. You're not beating me. Okay. I'm staying great. Yeah. And so, and with the Maslow's hierarchy of needs, though, we forget, we are so naval contemplative that we forget that other people don't have what we consider basics.
Mm-hmm. All the time. Mm-hmm. All the time. It, it, it even came up when I was, you know, I worked in footwear apparel for 20 years and even with child labor, right. Something that, no, no one wants kids to have to, to work and work in bad conditions. But what people don't know about that whole story is that when corporations stopped allowing kids to work, it wrecked family economics in countries where everyone had to work to survive.
Interesting. 'cause we were thinking about it through the Western civilization lens. Right. And not, uh, not a civilization that hadn't gone through some of the industrial changes. Changes. Yeah. And so they ended up finding some solutions where they were paying kids to go to school so that there was, we could put more of that balance in place, but it really wreaked havoc in the, in the local population when it, when the shift first happened.
And again, we just weren't, we were thinking about it from our perspective, not somebody else's. They're not asking like, how this looks bad in our, and from our perspective, is it bad? What can we do? How do we meet in the middle? And I just, I miss there being more dialogue. Mm-hmm. Obviously that's why I, I have this, I think people need to be talking and sharing and, and really saying it from their own perspective.
Um, but there's just so many opportunities. And you, you said the root chakra and we. Most people aren't stopping to pause and look at their life and evaluate it and say, where am I? Good? Where can I help? If I'm good anywhere I can help.
Right? Yeah, no, that's beautiful. And um, and I think that what you're talking about too with the Western V viewpoint is so flawed in that Americans often look at the world as America and mm-hmm.
It's the world. And, um, I was noticing through with, with yoga and especially during, um, everything with, with the civil rights activism and, and whatnot, was, um, that the yoga community, if anything we've been showed that the yoga community is maybe the worst offender in having that privilege viewpoint and imposing that.
On the world in a way that is very, um, naive and resistant to hear the other side of it. Mm-hmm. Like for instance, I heard a lot and I still hear people talking about veganism and how you should eat vegan and not even getting into the discussion of veganism and the health benefit, whatever, but just to eat organically is a privilege to have access to produce the way that our systems are set up and our grocery stores, or lack thereof, are set up in the country is an incredible privilege in its own.
And so to go outside of your house and just preach like cucumbers, ka, and, and vegetables, that's not gonna translate in a way that is tangible to people who are in that root chakra Yeah. Space or who don't have access in. Any close vicinity to where they live, to fruits and vegetables, and that those things come at a premium, unfortunately, in, in this country.
Um, but things along that line of, of bypassing and of being kind of entitled, um, came to the forefront during that. Mm-hmm. The last year and a half I would say.
And I, and I think at the root of that is all is meeting people where they are. Right. Like, we're not even, um, asking, we're not asking questions, so we can't see what's missing in the vocabulary to even get there.
Right. Like, that's a great example of like, you should eat cucumbers and kale and first we gotta know like, do you know what cucumbers and kale are? Like? We didn't even ask. Like, it's before we even get to vicinity and cost and all the ways to make it a reality. Like, do you know what it is? And yeah.
There's so much about, and this, this honestly happens all the time when I'm working with clients to figure out like what their business should be. The thing that we have to share with people is so obvious to us and so integrated into our life. The biggest thing we have to share with people that we forget what it's
Mm.
And, and so we have to really go back to like, um, there's this great thing called the seven layer exercise where you say, I wanna save the world as an example. And you go, why? And you keep asking why at least seven times. And it usually brings you back to whatever the core thing is. It's actually a great technique if you're, you know, mad at somebody and you wanna have a more powerful conversation or just get to your mission statement or whatever it is.
Um, but we, you know, no one, to your point, nobody can have a conversation about dietary lifestyle choices if. But because there were choices in there, do they even have a choice yet?
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
And are they at survival level? Like we have to get through that baseline Maslow hierarchy of needs to be like, okay, I have food now let's talk about shelter.
Okay, I have shelter now let's talk about, you know, I need better internet, or whatever is the thing up top. Right? Yeah. Um, we can't help other, we can't even have the conversation if we're distracted by fundamentals of life.
And you, you nailed it. It's a lot of assumptions. Mm-hmm. The way that I felt like the yoga community, the wellness community as a whole was approaching the message that they were, the community was trying to get out.
So I'm talking about like a global, I guess a national in the west community of yogis and wellness. But the messages going out had a lot of assumptions and not a lot of questions. And not a lot of attention to questions. Um, but what's been really beautiful is I do feel like there, the people who wanna do better and who wanna listen are really giving it a good effort.
And then the people who are resistant to that are just kind of going back to what was prior. And I guess they'll stay that way until the next initiation. Mm-hmm.
There's an amazing group, um, on the east coast of the US called Black Boys Ohm. Oh, I dunno if you follow them. Yes. You follow them? Yeah. Mm-hmm.
And it's so beautiful. 'cause they, they're really trying to do that work to to, to bring it to people like anyone. So the word transformed might be used too much, but when you do start having yoga practice, you've like crossed into another room. Mm-hmm. And to your point, I think we forget to go back in the other room and like people who haven't experienced it, haven't had the aha moment.
They are like, what the hell are you talking about? You sound like a crazy hippie. I don't know what you're talking about. Exactly. I was like, we have to go back and like get people to be like, no, no, no. Like, I know it sounds crazy, but like, just try it. Like let me try it with you or, you know, whatever it is.
But we do forget that it's that, that phrase like, fish don't know their own water. And it goes both ways. The people who are underprivileged dunno that they're underprivileged in all the ways that they are, and the people who are privileged don't realize how privileged they are in all the ways they are.
And so I, I think it's a analogy of what's happening right now in this country of like, people are just talking and you're like, um, we're kind of having a tower, a babel moment. 'cause I can like, we can't even hear each other. Like, it's not even possible.
Yeah. I will say I think people who are underprivileged are probably a little more Yes.
Aware of it than people who are privileged. Yes. They feel, because the struggle is like, it's, it's, mm-hmm. Visceral. It's like, you know, um. But I hear what you're saying and, and it's like we have to bring that room. The people who are in the room of privilege or what have you, have to bring that room outside rather than trying to drag everyone into the room.
Yeah. It's almost take the walls down, like we just need to mm-hmm. Shut the room because that's a better solution.
Just take the walls down.
Yeah. Hundred percent. Uh, so when you, when you look at your life and how things have shifted, like where have you felt most in your power of like, I can do this, I've got this, and like, what are the examples that you look back on when you need a self-confidence boost?
Hmm. So I feel most, and I was just thinking about this today, I was like, I wonder if she's gonna ask me. When I feel most in my power, um, I feel most in my power first when I am well rested. Mm-hmm. And that's not just a mom thing. Like I have to, as a human being, have rest. And it's so important. And I think most people need more rest than they give themselves.
Mm-hmm. Even if they're aware, not aware of it. Um, I would say that I have found power in stepping into the unknown. Completely terrified, right? Mm-hmm. And like when I opened the studio, right, the, the announcement went out. There was no turning back. I had signed the lease and it was a three year lease, which is up already.
But, um, you know, it was, it was a longer term lease than I'd ever signed before, and it was scary as hell. And I just continued to put one foot in front of the other. Scared the whole time, but feeling like this intuitive, knowing that this was the right path and I was kind of doing the right thing and following what my spirit is meant to do.
Um, and getting through that right now because I've practiced that. I feel in my power when I am faced with sort of my back against the wall and there's nothing else to do and I have to hold myself up, I, I step into that without as much fear now, I guess is what I'm trying to say. So like going through that in that way, you know, opening a studio, doing something unknown and just planting my feet down and saying, okay, I'm doing it anyways, made me feel very much in my power.
And now that I've practiced that, I can do that a lot more easily and it's wonderful. Um, I was talking to, I don't know if this is related, but I was talking to. A friend the other day about how much I love being in my thirties. Mm-hmm. Um, because I feel like it's a practice of being in your power. Yes.
Like in, at least for me in my twenties, you're figuring out what that means. Like, I don't know what my power, let me try this. Does this feel like it's in my power? Lemme go over there. Does, do these people feel like they're helping me feel empowered? And then by your thirties you can kind of like instantly look and be like, yes, no, yes, no, no, no, no.
Yes, yes, yes. And, um, I really appreciate that and I love it and it's so much more grounded. Mm-hmm. I guess that was long-winded, but, but yes. Well rested and then it's the belief in, in myself
mm-hmm.
That comes with practice
and comes with doing. Right. Like, I, I'll have a lot of clients be like, how do I, how do I generate self-confidence?
I'm like, you can't. You have to go do something that's scary you've never done before. Do it and be like, oh, okay. I have confidence now. Like it's not. We can't manifest confidence or we, we, it's really something we have to go out and be in action to get that reward from. And there's so many people as we, as we get older, that wanna do less and less in that scary zone.
But doing things in that scary zone is one, I think what life is about. But two, it's
totally,
it's, it's where you keep that momentum, like your brain gets activated, you get more confident. There's something about continuing to step into scary. Like I started training jujitsu just before lockdown happened, so I got like two and a half months in and That's awesome.
It was really fun. I highly recommend it, but every day I went, I spent more time laughing at myself than like actually practicing because I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Like I, it was so refreshing to go into a space where I was a complete novice and idiot messing up the whole time, like. The tea, even in like the room being like, really?
Can you figure this out yet? And so it was so nice, like coming from a like, okay, here's all the accolades on this side of the list, but over here, I'm like a complete 6-year-old in juujitsu looking like an idiot, embarrassing myself. And it's perfect. That's so fun.
Yeah. Yeah. That's where the growth happens.
Yes. And like the yes no, you learn your less yeses and No, like, I took a pottery class, pottery throwing class, and I was so bad at it. And, um, but you had a good, but it was fun. And then at the end I was like, I don't need to do that again. But, but there was growth in knowing that that wasn't for me. And there's probably another activity that's a little more aligned.
Mm-hmm. Uh, how do the powerful humans or women in your life, how, how have they helped you and how have they been guideposts as you've been navigating your life and especially your business?
Oh my goodness. Um, well, I will say that I have had, without a doubt, the hardest. Two years of my entire life, the um, the combination of being pregnant and a new mom and a small business owner in a pandemic brought me to my knees and I had no option but to lean on people.
Um, my natural state is like lone wolf independent. Mm-hmm. I can do it all flawed, but superwoman complex is just how I've always ran through life. And that wasn't an option for me. And so I had to learn to let other people, um, help me. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And to let them take the wheel. And I had, um, my closest friends on the island, all women really stepped up and people who I wasn't even that close to.
Stepped up for me, like could really see through the fact that, um, 'cause I wear a good mask too. Like, oh, I'm good. Could really see through that. Mm-hmm. And penetrate it and say, no, like, here, we're here for you. And, um, my mom too, who is like, we of course mother-daughter relationship has not been perfect by any means.
And I talked a little bit about my childhood, not in detail, but that it was difficult. My mom is a very strong woman. She, um, she, growing up, we never, um, we never talked about like getting married or meeting the man of your dreams. It was always like, you're gonna work hard. You are gonna achieve your goals.
You're gonna, you're gonna just do it. 'cause that's what she did. And she would go through our, um. Storybooks when we were kids, and if it said fireman, she would write, she would cross it out and write firefighter. Or if it said policeman, she would cross it out and write police officer. Um, because she never wanted those like limitations put.
And that was pretty progressive for I guess in my nineties. Very. Yeah. Um, so, but my mom, I've leaned on a lot in the last two years and I'm really thankful to have her. And, uh, it's a really beautiful thing to be surrounded by powerful women as well, and that mm-hmm. I think sometimes we equate power, if someone is powerful, we it insinuates in some way, or we think that it means that there are people without power.
And I think that actually we all have so much power and can exist together. Mm-hmm. The same way that, you know, colors are all vibrant, that they exist together in a rainbow. Yeah. Yeah. I'm really thankful for the women in my life.
Well, I think that's the perfect segue, which you started to answer a little bit of like, what does powerful and ladies mean to you separately and what does it mean combined?
Yeah.
Um, meaning the two words. Yeah. What do they mean separately? Mm-hmm. Powerful to me means grounded in the person and being that you are, unless the being in person that you are is doing harm to others. And, um, in that case, I would think that someone was out of alignment with their true power. Mm-hmm.
So for me, that's what powerful means is to really just be in tune with the being that you came onto this earth as ladies or a woman, uh, we are, after giving birth, I can confidently say that we are sorry men, the superior species, like we are the most powerful. Things on this planet, beings on this planet.
It is wild what just our bodies are capable of doing. Mm-hmm. Um, whether you want kids or not, like, like the way that our bodies move and make space for another being and Yeah. And you know, my, like my boobs would get big and then milk like the whole thing. And then my husband just stands there as the person that he's, and he is wonderful, he is a great dad, but it's just like the power within a woman is next level.
Yeah. And, um, and so for me, like being around women is really important. And I used to be sort of one of those women who resisted being around other women. Um, I think because I was scared to be quite honest. Like I didn't want to feel. I, I was just listening to actually Lenon Doyle's podcast where she's talking about how, um, the, the system of toxic masculinity can pit women against each other and create that sort of dynamic and fear.
And I was someone who like, didn't like drama, right. So I, yeah, I wanna hang out with boys, which is silly, but, um, same. Totally understand. Yeah. Yeah. But it, it was a thing and um, now I just like, I need my girls. Mm-hmm. I really need them. It's a non-negotiable. Yeah. And then together. Well, I mean, I think I just touched on it, like, all women are powerful and we're all powerful in different ways.
Um, you can be quiet and powerful, you can be passive and powerful. You can be, um, bold and powerful. And that femininity looks so many different ways. And, um. Yeah. Just that we can all support one another in that capacity. Mm-hmm. Is, is really cool. And honor our differences.
Yeah. It, you know, it's, it really is that namaste, um, view, I think.
Right. Like, if you can mm-hmm. It's hard to see and honor someone when they fully, when they haven't fully like seen and honored their own power
mm-hmm.
Because we're only getting a fraction of who they are because the rest of it's like hidden inside somewhere. And I do what I do and I think you do what you do so people can get to that truest self.
Right. Really not, it's, it's the Michelangelo quote of, of removing the rock from the sculpture, not, not creating the sculpture. Mm-hmm. And I, I, I know from my. I'm a little bit more on the aggressive, powerful side sometimes where I'm like, get on the bus. Like, get over here. Like, let's go. Yeah. I'm like, we need you to be powerful.
Get over here. What do you mean you can't? Nope, we're not accepting it. Let's go. Yeah. Where, which doesn't work for everyone all the time. Right. But it's like, I'm, I'm just, so when I call people or invite them on the podcast or ask 'em to participate in one of our panel conversations and they're like, I can't, I'm not powerful.
I'm like, oh no. I'm like, this is why I do this. And now we're gonna have to have a coaching conversation. Yeah.
And you have to still come on the podcast 'cause you are,
yeah. Now you definitely have to come on the podcast. Yeah.
Yeah. I agree. I, I also am more like, come on, I, I guess aggressive is, is word. Um, but I'm also incredibly introverted.
So it's, it's a really weird combination. Like, I think if people were to look at my Instagram, they would think that I'm someone who just like. Talks to everyone and is really open and wants to like chat about social justice issues 24 7 with any person walking on the street. And that's really just not me in general.
Like I find that platform great for me because I can get the message out, then I can like go retreat to my home and be with the people I choose to be around. Um, but yeah, there are so many different ways to, to move about as, as a person and as a woman. Mm-hmm. In the world that are really wonderful.
And, you know, with the being a new mom and the pandemic and having your business, like, what's next for you and what are you excited about as we kind of go into wrapping up this year and about to start a new year?
Yeah. So I'm in Phoenix right now because what needed to happen was I needed my mom. Mm-hmm. And I just, I looked at my husband and I was like, I ha I just need my mom right now. Um, and it's lovely that that feeling at 31 is still a thing. Mm-hmm. And um. So I'm in a space right now where I am like full, full force taking care of myself and like centering myself.
Because you have kids? Yeah. You don't have kids? Not yet. Oh, you were one of four kids. That's what you're saying. For some reason I went, she has four kids. Um, that would be amazing. But no, it be, it's no longer about me. Right. That's the natural thing that happens. But I'm still a person who's living, breathing, and existing.
I think all moms go through this. It's like a death of life as you knew it and a rebirth and figuring out how to take care of myself has been an adjustment. So I came here to sort of like retreat, um, because I also have this company centered that I'm working on launching that I'm really excited about.
And it really takes this whole conversation about yoga, wellness, and social justice to the next level. Mm-hmm. I'm hoping I have a business partner hoping to launch it in the next year. Um. I can't give too many details about that, but I am really excited about it and it feels really good to my heart and to my spirit.
Mm-hmm. Um, as far as like where I want to move into with my whole yoga practice.
I love that. Well, please, once it's ready to be shared, please tag us and share it so we can also share with everybody. Um, but no, it's exciting, right? Like it's, and I think what's so interesting is going through the two hardest years of your life and you know, getting the new title of mom and, you know, your business survives and yes, you're retreating right now, but you're really retreating 'cause you're gonna keep expanding.
Yeah. Well I can't continue to expand if I don't Yes. Have anything to expand from. I went to a yoga, I've been just taking yoga every day since I've been here, which is so nice because I've been teaching for so long. But on the other side of it, which I love, but, um. But it's giving and I needed to receive and yes.
Um, so the, in the instructor the other day, she was a mom too. She's like, you need to just receive, like, just do as much as you need to fill your cup up. And so, yeah, I mean we, that's for everyone. We have to fill our cubs in order to give any, anything from them. Mm-hmm.
So for everyone listening who is considering open a yoga studio or considering stepping more into social justice, what do you want them to know and what do you want them to all do?
Like really hear?
Um, well for people who are opening a yoga studio, my wish is that if they were to open the yoga studio, they would integrate not just fitness, but the other elements of the yoga practice into it. 'cause it's really, that's where the transformation is and that's where the biggest, I guess, aspects of yoga lie are within all of the limbs.
Um. But to know that you can do it. I remember feeling like, can I do this? You can absolutely do it. Um, you're absolutely gonna feel like you don't know what you're doing the entire time and you just have to keep chugging and that you have to open a space that feels right for you and to listen to your intuition as you continue to move forward.
Um, I would say that also if you're gonna open a yoga studio, you should, which I wish I had more understanding of. Understand that there are going to be 18 hats you will be wearing because I think a lot of people like myself who do this love yoga so much and love teaching so much that we're like, yes, we're gonna do this.
And then there's so much backend logistical stuff that I just was not even, I knew some of it was there, but I didn't know the extent of which of what that would would require. So. It's still worth it. But just to know that that's gonna be a piece of the puzzle for someone. Opening studio and people working in social, excuse me, social justice.
Um, I would like to learn from them. Mm-hmm. I wanna know more so that I can integrate that more into what I'm doing. But I do feel like we need more people working in that space. Absolutely. And in every industry. Mm-hmm. Like, just make it a piece of target and, I don't know, in an out burger. No, it's, I'm only saying that 'cause I'm here and I'm finally able to eat it for the first time in years.
But, um, but really that we should have that as an integral piece because it would move the collective towards that healing. Mm-hmm. Right. Like if it was everywhere, if social justice was pervasive, it wouldn't feel like this overwhelming thing
mm-hmm.
To tackle. Because we would be tackling it together little by little.
Yeah.
Yes. And so much of it is just being who you say you're gonna be, right? As a person and as a company. And you know what good is your mission statement if it's not changing the world? Because like you said, in that little way that it can. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Uh, so for everyone who wants to follow you, support, you take one of your classes, where can they find you and where can they follow you?
Yeah, so my studio is called The Yoga Nest in Kai Oona. So if you live there or if you're on vacation there, you can come see us and check out a class. We have wonderful instructors. Um, my personal Instagram handle is at Monta, so MO Nco, STA, and um, the studio's Instagram is at the Yoga Nest. Hi, like Hawaii.
Um, and then our website is the yoga hi.com. So you can find us there and I'll be updating as I continue to move into this direction, more so on my personal Instagram about what's next for me.
Love it. Uh, we ask everybody on the podcast where you put yourself on the Powerful Lady Scale. If zero's an average everyday human and 10 is the most powerful lady possible, where would you put yourself today and where would you put yourself on average?
Ooh. So 10 is like Oprah, is that what we're
essentially Yeah.
Yeah. Essentially Oprah. I don't feel like I'm at Oprah's level as of now. Um, but I do feel like I'm a pretty powerful person and I would put myself today, um, somewhere between a seven and an eight. I'd like to have some room for growth in there for sure.
And then on a day to day. Oh, I'm putting myself at a 10 on a day to day. Mm-hmm. Good. Right. It's interesting that those two, because I just feel like getting through, I think everyone should put themselves at a 10 on a day to day if they're like here moving through this. Mm-hmm. Whatever is going on in the world.
Yeah. Right now, any woman who's getting through it, it should just put themselves on a 10 day to day. I agree. And
mothers should give themselves the least a bonus. Five points. Sure. I'll take it. Sure. Well, the Powerful Ladies community is, is global and powerful. And so I've been asking, uh, guests lately to, you know, make a request if there's something that you need.
The chances are there is somebody in the community listening who, who has it or knows someone who does. So is there anything that you need to step into whatever you're going, wherever you're going next? Oh, like, oh, ooh,
what do I wanna put
it?
I
would love if. Someone had a connection to a, um, either black owned, minority owned publishing company.
Ooh. Put that out there. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I I, I, I know an independent publisher. They're not a minority owned one, but I do. But, well, I guess they, they are, they're women owned. Uh, they're women owned now.
Okay. That works though too. But that's one step. But they might know someone one step. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And we'll see who's listening and who else does Well see who's listening. Someone does. Everything we need is really one request away within our own community.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah. It's pretty amazing when those connections happen too.
It's, uh, if nothing makes me happier than, than those connections. 'cause those connections are an example of the magic that's out there. Mm-hmm. And like I have, I, I'm a Libra, I need the balance. Right. So if I'm going into. The heavy lifting spaces of life, I need to come back and be like, okay, what was all the magic that happened today?
Okay, great. Thank you. Okay. I can relax a little bit now.
Yeah, I, and I'm similar, I think if you're also, if you're a deeply feeling being at the same podcast. But that's, 'cause I just was listening to it the other day. Glennon Doyle is talking about how she has to, she can't watch like heavy television. And I, and I was like, mm-hmm.
Oh, that's like, I love trash TV. And let me tell you why, because I can't feel heavy watching. Like I need to, I need some escapism, you know? Yes. And that's the balance. That's exactly what we're talking about. Like you can engage and still have your peace. There's a way to do it. Mm-hmm. Do it all.
Yeah, absolutely.
And I think secretly when it's really hard to have the inner peace we seek if we're not being courageous.
Mm-hmm.
And I don't know. If you're not speaking up, if you're not doing what you know is right, then if, if you're forfeiting your courage. I, I, I think that will always be a missing.
Yeah. And your soul knows, like, the feedback we get internally is always very telling of if
yes.
If you're on track or if you're not.
Yeah. Uh, on the last podcast, I recorded the guest shared, like, the universe will hit you with a feather, and then it'll hit you with a brick and it'll hit you with a truck. So like mm-hmm. Like, you, you, you, um, we need to listen to ourselves and so what's out? Like we keep ignoring things.
It, it just gets louder and it hurts more.
Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yes.
Well, it has been such a pleasure to chat with you. Thank you for being a Yes to powerful ladies. Thank you for sharing your story. I cannot wait to hear what people got out of this and what their aha moments were. Uh, but it really has been a pleasure to meet you.
Thank you so much.
Oh, thank you so much for having me. It was so nice.
Thank you for listening to today's episode. All of the links to connect with Monica are in our show notes@thepowerfulladies.com slash podcast. You can also leave comments and ask questions about this episode. Want more powerful ladies? Join us on Instagram at Powerful Ladies. There you'll also find some free downloads to start being powerful today.
Subscribe to this podcast and help us connect with more listeners like you by leaving us a five star rating and review. If you're looking to connect directly with me, please visit kara duffy.com or follow me on Instagram. At Kara Duffy, I would like to thank our producer, composer, and audio engineer Jordan Duffy.
Without her, this wouldn't be possible. You can follow her on Instagram at Jordan K. Duffy. We'll be back next week with a brand new episode. Until then, I hope you're being powerful in your life. Go be awesome and up to something you love.
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Instagram: @mon_sta
Website: www.theyoganesthi.com
Email: monika@theyoganesthi.com
Created and hosted by Kara Duffy
Audio Engineering & Editing by Jordan Duffy
Production by Amanda Kass
Graphic design by Anna Olinova
Music by Joakim Karud
