Episode 210: She Left Her Job to Become a Stunt Driver | Bet Heykoop | Stunt Driver & Hot Shift Series Creator
What if the dream you had as a kid – the one you buried under jobs, bills, and adulting – was still waiting for you? That’s exactly what happened to Bet Heykoop. She was working in tech, on paper successful, but inside feeling lost. Then one day she quit, got behind the wheel, and everything changed. In this episode, Bet shares the wild road from self-taught parking lot spins to working on real Hollywood stunt sets. We talk about how she made the leap, the power of manifesting specific outcomes, the importance of community, and what it feels like to finally be in the driver’s seat of your own life, literally.
“Talking about what I wanted and what I was doing on both social media and in person allowed people to start coming to me and bringing opportunities to me.”
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Follow along using the Transcript
Chapters:
00:00 Saying yes to the Verizon commercial
01:30 Why she always wanted to be a stunt driver
03:30 Leaving tech and starting over
06:00 The power of imagination and writing it down
09:30 Manifesting both a commercial and a music video
11:00 Building confidence through discomfort
15:00 Reconnecting with your eight-year-old self
18:30 From practice car to Hot Shift series
22:00 Teaching queer and non-male drivers how to drive stick
28:00 Being on set with a Russian Arm camera car
34:00 Finding belonging in male-dominated spaces
39:30 Building community through saying your dream out loud
I have a friend call me out of nowhere. He's Hey, I just got tapped to ride a Verizon commercial. Can you? I wrote a bunch of car scenes in it. Can you drive? I was like, well after. Yes. But I was just
thinking, oh my God. That's stuntdriver Bethany Heykoop. I'm Kara Duffy and this is The Powerful Ladies Podcast.
Yeah. Let's jump in. Let's tell everybody who you are, where you are in the world, and what you're up to.
Yeah. So I am Bethany Heykoop. I am a. This newly minted stunt driver trying to figure out her way around this very male dominated space in Los Angeles.
How did you become a stunt driver?
Oh my God. Okay, so I'd wanted to do it since I was a kid.
I watched the movie, the Italian job. Have you seen that?
Yes. Okay. So it's why I bought a Mini Cooper.
Oh, she has a
mini. I used to, when I lived in Europe, I did, 'cause I think, I thought I had to after watching the Italian job.
You did. You, yeah. You were obligated to do that. So yeah, I watched that.
I thought that what they were doing with cars is really cool. Didn't think it was a job, had no idea it was a job, but just knew I wanted to do that. And, as I got a little bit older, I'd bought myself my first car and I was like I'll just teach myself how to stunt drive. So I'm going to go out behind the Walmart and spin around and see what happens.
Was pull my E-brake. And one day I came home. My dad was like, your tires are bald. What happened? And I was like nothing happened. I'm fine. Nothing happened at all. And so when I replaced the tires, I quickly realized that I couldn't afford the car payment and the tires. So I promised myself when I'm older and I have more money, I will get trained to be a stunt driver.
Then like life happens, right? You, I got married, I had a job, I worked in tech and there was this moment where it was just like having that office job. Like even though it was like great, very financially stable, I was just like. This isn't for me, like it is like eating away at me, like it was, I almost didn't recognize myself anymore.
And so I left that job. I became a certified herbalist 'cause I decided to just pack everything in between me and pursuing my dream. And through COVID, I I did this one book called The Artist's Way. I don't know if you've heard it. Very familiar. Yep.
I have a copy behind me. Okay.
Yep. Very good. Keep it close. It's really, it was that shit is tough, right? Going through that book is really hard. But something that really came out of that was like, I was able to talk to my inner critic and I named her Annabelle, and she's a huge bitch, so she's a little quieter now.
She just needed some love and attention. But I, I was able to really identify. What was holding me back. And the question came up of if you were, if you came back to this life in any form, like what would that form be? And I always had stunt driver listed. It took me a while to actually admit it to myself.
'cause I thought I'm 30. I'm not working my cushy job in tech anymore, and the only thing I can think about is being a stunt driver, like it consumed me and it took me a while before I even could admit it to my husband, and it was like he knew before I did. He was like, of course. This is what you must do.
So having his support was amazing. And then. A few more months of denying it and going into the dark places of myself and then realizing, what I have nothing to lose. If I go, I live in Los Angeles, there's a place to go get trained out in the desert where everyone goes actors sent people, like if they need to train. So it's like a very serious school. And I said, okay, i'm gonna go. If this isn't for me, then I won't go back or I won't pursue this further. There was something that happened when I was in the car. I even feel it now thinking about it. I was, we were doing this God, there was like 12 cars I think in this chase scene that we were simulating, and it was all this you know how cool?
Oh, it was so cool. It was so cool. And it was like this really cool chase scene and I was laughing and crying. Because I was so happy. And there's like this thing that happens in my brain. I dabbled in some like stock car racing before to just like one day experience is nothing crazy, but there's something about driving towards a wall at 120 miles an hour and being able to manipulate the car and do what I needed to do to make it back around the track. Like I crawled outta that car and I was so calm and other people were like shaking from adrenaline. And I'm like my brain's broken. This is the obvious answer. But it wasn't. I just found something that I really enjoyed. And after I guess training, I was just like, Hey, I know no one and nothing.
And then that kind of started me on my, the path that I'm on now of just. For lack of a better word, manifesting. Heavily all the things that have happened in the past year.
What are some of those things that you've been able to manifest? Oh my God,
I, everything's a story with me. So here's the story.
I didn't know anyone or anything about this space. I'm like, I've just turned up to this class and realized it made me extremely happy and I wanted to do more of it. So I knew that I needed a practice car. So I thought, okay let me just go in my backyard with my notebook and write down the things that I need in a practice car, like having no frame of reference, like I had frame of reference for my class, but just.
I was like all I have right now is my imagination, so I'm gonna go live in my imagination in the morning, every day. And so I started writing that specs down for the car and. Three days later, I find that car on Craigslist and I convinced the guy to sell it to me for $800. And now this car is it is like the perfect car because it's a Crown Victoria.
Those actually are quite expensive. If you wanna use them for like stunt schools and other people in stunts desperately try to find this car. And they usually sell for three to five grand at least. And so I drove my ass down to Long Beach and picked up my step car. And I actually, so I had my friends paint it for my birthday.
And I like had painted this little miniature version yesterday of it. It was just like this, like rainbow. So perfect. Crazy little car. I have her here with me, but, I found that car and then I kept imagining while I was sitting in my backyard. I just let my imagination go and I just kept seeing myself, thinking about the people I wanted to be around, like who, like their kind of energy and what it would feel like to be on set to really get myself, hopefully used to it, right?
Because again, it's me alone in my backyard and I kept seeing myself on set and I kept seeing. Commercial or music video by the end of the year, because this was a big practice for me and actually writing down what I wanted. I was always so scared to actually say what I wanted. And even though at the time I felt really just who the fuck am I?
I'm just pulling this outta my ass. What am I supposed to do with this information? That's coming from my own brain. But I just, I took it seriously and I wrote it down. I almost, really convinced myself that this is what I wanted, it was already coming out of me.
And so commercial music video, by the end of the year, it got towards the end of the year and I thought maybe this is teaching me that this isn't gonna happen this year, but to be patient and, something like this will happen. I'll be damned if one week into December. I have a friend calling me out of nowhere.
He's Hey, I just got tapped to ride a Verizon commercial. Can you? I wrote a bunch of car scenes in it. Can you drive? I was like, answer. Yes. But I was just thinking, oh my God. Like I was thinking just like any type of commercial, I don't know, like I was thinking a car, commercial, anything like that.
And another friend reached out and was like, Hey, I'm gonna shoot a music video. Can you drive in this music video for me? And so my lesson there was, it's not a commercial or a music video, I have to say, and more, 'cause it was a commercial and a music video by the end of the year. And that was so incredible to me.
And that I, there was one moment where. When I was sitting in, I was driving this like huge van at the Verizon commercial, and I saw the camera behind me move in a certain way in my rear view mirror. And I thought I had this crazy dejavu moment where I was like, I saw this in my backyard. Like I saw this moment in my backyard like four or five months ago.
And so I don't know, I was, I just had this really awesome kind of moment of, oh. Anything that I can imagine. Anything I imagine is like real, like I can make it real. And so I like have it on a ring now. Like anything I can imagine is real. And it's been a cool kind of journey of really leaning into trusting whatever that intuition is pulling me towards, even if it's not conventional.
Fighting. There's so many other things, but those are like kinda like the first moments of like me being like, oh, the call is coming from inside the house. Oh boy. Oh bother. I should listen to that.
How is that different than how you were living life before? Oh my God.
What a great question.
I. I think how I was living before was doing everything that everyone else told me I needed to do or I should do, and losing a lot of my own voice in that. I will say I didn't feel like I even had an intuition for I, okay, let me rephrase that. I had an intuition I just had, so I was so far disconnected from it.
That I just was tossed around with whatever energy people had around me. I wouldn't, I was such a people pleaser. It really, it made me really good at recruiting because I could figure out what people needed and wanted, which is what I did with engineers and recruiting and tech. But it was something that, God, even thinking of it now, cutting myself off. I think from that core intuition, like it's almost like you cut a vine, you, it like wither it withers and dies, right? So I think just the, I don't know, being so anxious and looking outward to see what I should do next as opposed to looking inward. If that makes sense.
It makes total sense. Now can
I see all your book The Rainbow? Oh yeah. Yep. That's so cool.
It's it's so funny, I used to organize them by. Like category and have 'em alphabetized or something. But gosh, maybe eight years ago I switched to the color coding and it's so strange now. Someone says a book and I'm like, white cover.
Blue cover. Like I now know books based on that.
Oh my God. No. My apps are color coded in my phone. Yeah. Like I color code them, so I'm like instagram kind of purpley that and purple. Yeah. Really funny.
Yeah. It's and it's so good. Like our brains like that, they like color cues.
'Cause we're, yeah. There's so much other content in our lives that are. Word and text based. So when we don't need to use that it's nice. Yeah, you're right. You're right. So if we go, so you've thought about being a stunt driver for a long time and, but I'm curious if we go back to 8-year-old you was she like stunt driver?
Oh my god. 8-year-old
me. Oh, aw. She's so sweet. Eight.
She wouldn't be opposed to the idea, but I don't think she was, she knew what that was yet. Yeah. If that makes sense. I think like she was she had all the makings to, I think like really buy into a non-traditional kind of like life and existence and I think a lot of those things were happening then as well, my dolls were like my friends. I was like, I don't necessarily, I was thinking like, these aren't my babies. I don't know that I want babies. Like these are my friends. And like that, like I was really like able to delineate myself in that. And it was honestly, it's really funny that you asked about that age.
'Cause eight's my favorite number and it always has been. And I think it was around that time where. I started to get ingrained with this is the way you're supposed to live life, not how you are as an 8-year-old exploring and being yourself. Yeah, I think I feel like that kind of age and time was really when I was living a little bit more loudly.
Like what I did and how I dressed and how I would like joke around and I was really like finding my edges. And I think it was that at that range where things started to get a little rained in.
Yeah.
So then when, I see Italian job when I'm like, I don't know, I think I was like 13.
I was able to see what I wanted, but I put it away.
I think a lot of women. Are in a space where they want that deeper connection with their intuition and they want that deeper connection with who they just really are. Like that pushing the edges. Eight year olds, let's just be fully self-expressed as US person.
And you mentioned doing, going out in the backyard every morning to get reconnected and to just imagine things. But when did you decide. That you needed to start putting practices in place to help get there. And what were those practices that you started with?
Oh my God, you just asked such great questions.
Thank you. You take me to such key places. It's amazing. I think honestly, the first thing I thought about was, and this is. I don't know. This isn't really that random, but the first thing I thought about was how do I make that little kid version of me happy? And everything I do now, like if I'm practicing in my stunt car, I like imagine her in my front seat with me.
I'm like, you good? And she's yeah. Aside of, aside from lots and lots of therapy which I started and continued with at that time, and I still do. I think, initially it was getting, being able to actually like, get clear on what I wanted and write that down. And then, my, my husband told me this I was terrified to put myself out there.
I was terrified to even post on Instagram. Like I literally only started posting this past summer, like things that I'm doing. Yeah. And he was like. No one else is gonna believe you if you don't. So let the practice of showing yourself just posting on Instagram, which would create great panic in me, but I created a habit around that to really be able to start putting myself out there. Even if it feels terrified, like it's my way of proving to me that this is what I do. I'm able to now be like, oh, yes. Visually looking at the things that I'm doing is really helpful to me to see oh, I can do a 360. I can do this.
Like I, I am this person. And so I think for me, being able to visually. Represent what I'm doing because what I'm doing can be visually represented. Was so such an important like first step. Did it feel great? Absolutely not. But I think there's like a difference between doing something that you know is like wrong but you do it anyway.
Like wrong for you. Not Yeah, wrong. Like for you and like the core of who you are and then doing something that is uncomfortable because you are growing. Yeah. And it's creating new growth. And so I leaned into that a little bit more.
I think that's an area where a lot of people stop is you want something and you know you want it, and then you take the first step and you're like, that's not comfortable.
Correct. And they and there's like this retreat element and there's so much. Humor and confidence building and all of the things by stepping into that uncomfortable space, it's become something where I'm like I've been comfortable a lot this month. I gotta go do something uncomfortable.
'cause that's cool. It shifts. Like you can't, it's the only way that I know people can build confidence is doing things that make you uncomfortable or where you're a novice. 'cause you can't, you have to earn the confidence with yourself, not other people.
That is so well put. That makes so much sense.
Couldn't have said it better. That is so awesome. Like I am, I'm instantly thinking now, like about, okay, so I teach people stick how to drive manual cars and in North America. No one does. That's not a thing. It's embarrassing, but mostly, yeah. But mostly it's men who know how to do it.
And then they teach like brothers and uncles and whatever, and not like female or people who are queer, like in their family. So as I'm finding myself in more car spaces, I would see like this group of people physically on the outskirts. Like they'd be there, but if you don't look like everybody else, like you get fucking grilled.
It's like, why are you here? Is this your dad's car? So I would go up to them and be like, Hey what's going on? Why are you here? And there's always this hesitation of oh I, I love cars, but I don't know how to build engines or I can't drive stick. Yeah.
And so I got this so many times and I started asking my friends like, do you guys know how to drive stick? And there's so many like crazy stories that come out. It's yeah, I got taught once, but I said it, they told me I wasn't able to, I wasn't teachable or I got left on this hill and they walked home and I had to figure it out.
It was like all these like brutal moments of like drama and I thought, okay, I have a vintage car. I had just learned to drive stick not long before that. I'm like, I'll teach you like let's go. Having someone in the car doing something that they're it's so outside the realm of what they're used to doing and it's so uncomfortable, but like they allow themselves to be really bad at something.
For a minute, and then you start to learn. It's it's so uncomfortable because it's so outside of your comfort zone. But for anyone who I'm teaching, they like want to be taught. So it's like they're no prisoners. No. I'm like, do not do, I will teach you if you are really don't wanna do this.
But there's such a sense of empowerment after everyone's just I'm so hot. Like I can drive stick now. This is amazing. But it's getting through that period of like discomfort to get there. Yeah. And I started just recording this because I thought it was wild to see this kind of progression.
And so I call it I now call my, I call it hot shift, my show. I love that. And so we have all these moments of the first time they killed the engine, I'm like, you killed it. When was the last time you killed it at something? So it's like part conversation, but part like, you're having this moment of okay.
I'm learning something new. This is terrifying. I'm driving a car around the street like what's happening, but the confidence that can come out of that after is just like chef's kiss
and I'm the person who never gets the chance to drive sticks like I, a friend and I drove up to LA recently and he is a stick shift Subaru, and I was like.
We outta the car. I'm like, would you ever let me drive that? Because I miss that feeling, that go-kart feeling. Yeah. Yeah. And he's yeah, you can drive it one day. I'm like, okay, thanks.
That's amazing. One day. Did one day happen?
Not yet. Not yet. I'll give him some shit this week to make sure that happens.
Drive my car. Then I'm like, my thought was like, I don't wanna drive it around a neighborhood 'cause you can't enjoy it. Stick when you're like stopping every five seconds. So I'm like, where can I take it? I'm like, would the highway be enough? Do I wanna go somewhere else with this car?
Yeah.
But I think a little highway.
I have a good starting place.
Oh, I'll tell you.
I love that. I have a great starting
place. Yeah.
Yeah. There is a long time. One of my best friends in college, she also knows how to drive stick and. That was the first car I had, or I guess technically second, but first car that was like mine and not a family, hand me down.
Yeah. And we used to be like, I don't know if we can date guys that don't know how to drive sticks. That's weird.
That is so awesome. I had this whole conversation with the first person I taught, she is queer and we had this whole conversation around like gender and driving. Oh yeah. And she's if I'm like with a guy, I want him to drive, but then if I'm with a woman or a different person, I wanna drive. And it was just such a cool conversation to be like, now she knows how to drive sticks. And now she always wants to drive, yes. But it was such a cool I don't know a cool thing that comes out of it. 'cause we're so coded, and guys drive cars and that's it.
And I don't know, it's been a really interesting kind of journey leaning into it being myself fully in it.
That was a tangent, sorry. No, but I think it's a really important thing to talk about because. There have been so many situations where I've been the passenger and especially I'm from the northeast, so there's been like snow and I'm like, stop the car, get out.
You're making me crazy. We do not need to go five miles an hour. It is just snow. Yeah. And like realizing like this person has no snow experience and it's like you're like, we do not need to go this slow. You're gonna I'm gonna lose my mind driving this slow as a passenger. And then similarly, we. I was living in Germany, we, a bunch of us went skiing and we took, I took my mini Cooper and the guy I was dating at the time had this BMW and he's oh, I can't take my car.
It's like rear road drive. And I'm like, so is mine. But we can get up the hill I'll drive. Yeah. And I was like, what? And it just, it's, I didn't judge either of these men for these situations, but there was a moment where I'm like. It's so weird that you don't have power in this space. And I do.
And society tells me that you should. Yeah. It was a really interesting moment of being present. So this is not normal. Okay.
You're like, oh, there's a glitch in the simulation. I
see it. And props to my dad for making sure that I knew how to drive stick. You don't want me doing anything else in the car besides taking it to a car wash, but yeah, I can drive us.
That's not the problem. You can Yep. You can go get some coffee. Yeah. You can run your errands. Yeah. Yeah. I think I'd be good in the getaway, but you don't me to fix it, change the oil, none of those things. Yeah. Yeah. Don't need it. Don't need to do that. No. So when you're doing the stunt work and you're racing you're chasing after that wall or making these turns.
'cause obviously a lot of stunt work, I think people assume is very exciting. And often stunt work is Nope, I'm just here 'cause I'm qualified off waiting, I'm safe. And a lot of waiting and Ooh, stunt driver, we're going 25 miles an hour so you can catch the scene. Ooh. So it's not always, shooting the Italian job and driving a car.
But when you do have those moments where you get to be the epitome of what a stunt driver is, how do you feel?
Oh my God. For once I feel just like I am where I belong I feel like fully at peace. And look there's many more things that I wanna do with stunt driving and I know them and I can see them now for myself.
And, we all know that was hard to get to, I think I feel, yeah, I just feel like, oh, this is where I've meant to be here. I think even on that first, the first job that I'd had on that commercial, I remember getting there and seeing the car that was gonna shoot me. And it was, it's like this it's called like a moto crane or like Russian arm.
It's basically this. This crane with a camera on it that's on top of typically an SUV. And I thought it would be years until I'd be able to like work with one of those, because they cost a lot of money to have on set. And so I was like, oh, not only am I shooting while I'm driving a car, but I'm shooting like with this car following me, I'm following that car.
This is like the real fucking deal of stunt driving. And I wasn't nervous at all. I was like. So just happy and chill and in my element and I feel so yeah. I just felt so grateful to be able to like taste what that is and I want more of it. Like being a stunt driver isn't oh, I'm working constantly all the time.
Especially if you have people are like, who are you? Yeah. What are your connections? But having moments, I feel so grateful to be able to have had moments where I've felt that and felt that in the car. Yeah, that's such a good question too. Thanks for asking that.
I think it brings up how important it is to have that level 10 moment.
Yeah. So many people, besides people not being uncomfortable, there's also all of these people who can, we all have dreams, we all have these things we want. And so few people are chasing after them in such a way where they get a 10 day, yeah, they get a ten second minute, five minutes. But once you have that moment, you can't unha it.
You can't go back. Yeah. And I think it shifts how you view yourself and what's possible. And you have a ring now, right? To remind yourself that yeah, this actually happened. I didn't imagine it. It's why I have one of my tattoos, like when I was moving back from Europe, I'm like. I need to remember that this wasn't a dream I had, like this actually happened.
Wow. And it's so easy to like have that moment and then get sucked back right into like dishes, laundry, blah, blah, blah. But we need to remember no. Like we can do such cooler things if we keep remembering and going after it. Yeah. Why were you in Germany? I was working for Puma, so I was there for four years.
I'm sorry at their kind of global headquarters actually running the Motorsport footwear division.
Yeah. Oh my God. If only our paths had crossed, if I had followed my dream sooner.
Yeah. It worked. It was really amazing. I got, I've had the pleasure of, making. The performance product for a Moto GP and Formula One, as well as all the lifestyle pieces and getting to go to the Ferrari factory and museum and Ducati.
The only thing I didn't get to do when I was there, which is like I'm so sad about it, was go to a Formula One race as like part of the, that side of things. Like obviously I can just go get a ticket and go. But yeah, to be on the kind of team side would've been really cool to see it that way.
And maybe I could pull some strings and still make it happen, but oh, you gotta do it. Yeah. It was really fun and really interesting to, we had a lot of women on the team who were working on it. Yeah. And there's actually a lot of women in the Ferrari and Ducati organizations as well. So there are women in places of motor sports and have always been, but it's definitely not we were never the majority, let alone it was never equal.
Oh, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. And navigating that while you were there, you're in a different culture completely. Because you said you grew up in the northeast, right? Yeah.
So you're in a completely different culture, at least from a gender perspective. You're like outnumbered. Like how did you find your voice in that space?
It was really interesting because I think when I look at what I had was up against in that space, I didn't speak the language of the country I was now living and working in. I was young, I was female and then add on whatever category I was working in at the time and it added whatever other dynamic to it.
There were definitely like fellow employees or people on my team that I really had to be. Fierce or bold with and just not tolerate some of it. There's a guy who was mad that I was American younger than him and female and telling him what to do, and I'm like, this is so ridiculous. Most people weren't like that though.
I had really amazing teams and leadership there and most of the men I worked with they just wanted someone who got shit done and I always have, and they were really fun and some of them I'm really close with still. And we're they're family at this point.
Yeah.
I learned Italian before I was learning German because my team was a lot of Italian, so they were really inclusive and wonderful.
I think that there, it, I had to consciously walk through and remind myself that. Whatever was in my head about not knowing enough and not having this in-depth motor sports background before I managed the category. Like I wasn't there for my motor sports knowledge. I was there for my knowledge of making product and shoes and going to market and telling stories.
So if I could just listen. And absorb all I could about the Motorsports story that they wanted to tell and find those details like that I'm good at. So that's why I can jump into any product, business, whatever, and be like, okay, here's what we need. But I had to keep reminding myself that I wasn't there to be the Formula One expert.
Other, otherwise they wouldn't have called Puma. And then they definitely wouldn't have called me because they're like, they were calling us for our product knowledge and making them lots of money through products. So yeah, that I had to remember that, that we could do.
Oh, that's so awesome.
Like focusing in on this is the reason why I'm here. And these are my strengths. And I think like kind, really just as I'm looking at the car space in general, I think that's a really cool thing to, to hold onto because there's there's such value also of showing up as yourself fully in whatever space, whether or not on paper, you air quotes to someone else belong There.
Yeah. And so I think that's really cool that you did that. You're like, Hey, no, like this is my value. This is why I'm here.
And it was hard, right? Just like you've experienced some days you're like, you get overwhelmed by the like, do I belong at this table? And then other days you're like, for me, like I know there's always a tipping point when I start getting frustrated and I'm like, stop, move.
No, I'll fix it. Stop. And that's when I know, I'm like, okay, not only do I belong here, like this table might be too small now.
Yeah.
But it's like a repeat thing though, right? Like you, there's always the next level. And now I'm looking for what's a fine category I haven't worked in, because then I get to learn something otherwise.
It's, I'll be bored, which I've learned about myself too, which I'm sure you have a little bit of that trait yourself based on the fact you're fearlessly jumping into new things.
Oh my God. Yep. No I totally feel that. And I think like the more you can do that, the more it becomes like a practice.
Because even initially, like pursuing this, I Annabel, that voice in my head was like way louder than my other voice in my head who is like my higher version of me. And so I think like understanding that things will happen in the time. Like you can't eat the cake before it's baked. And so it's it's cool to be able to allow yourself to, to practice the things that are like, maybe this is a little bit uncomfortable.
But the more you do it, the better you get at it, right? It's literally like strengthening a muscle. It's like the first time you do it, you're like, oh God. And then you know, you can, you get used to it, right? Yeah. Because I know for a fact I would not be mentally ready for any of this shit if I had done it sooner.
If that's the other thing that like I think about is okay, now I'm 32, going to be 33. I know that this is something that I wanted literally 20 years ago, and I, but at the time, I didn't have the support to do it. I didn't have the fortitude to do it. Like I wasn't the person that I am now. Like it tastes so much sweeter now because I know that I'm ready for it.
And even getting that first gig, like I was waiting for months thinking, where is this gig? But if I gotten it sooner, I would've, I wouldn't have been ready. So it's nice to do the practice, get used to it, things get, you strengthen the muscle and then you're able to really do the heavy lifting and have that 10 moment.
Yeah. Oh, I'm here.
I'm doing the thing. That makes me wonder, like how are you making friends in the industry? Because the way you describe both the commercial and the music video, a friend called you, and I think as much as we want to believe people are just looking for magical people out there, we're not Because every time we need to.
Plan something, it's oh shit, that's next week. Who can I call? And so it's whoever is top of mind, right? It's a, it's not what you know, it's who you know, but it's really who knows you, right? So what are you, what actions are you taking to make more friends in the industry and find those connections and just look for collaborators?
Yeah.
I think
like paying attention to who you already know is a good thing. Like being able to, maybe you have friends who you don't talk about work a lot, or, maybe you aren't talking about your dream to them. And so my first step was really like how I had to admit to myself and then start posting about it.
The conversations I started having with people who knew me well, after I started actually telling them what I wanted and actually posting about it they would come to me and be like, oh my God, I saw that site you did. That's so cool. Is this something you wanna do? Because no one, everyone's out there just thinking about themselves.
Like they're not I wonder what Bethany is, processing in her mental capacity and I wonder if she's ready for that. Like they're not doing that. Yeah. So talking about it as much as possible. And then I totally botched that, botch a quote, but I think it was Tiger, the Creator had said I came out with my album two years ago.
I'm still talking about it. 'cause. It's still new to people. I'm gonna keep talking about it 'cause this is it, so keep talking about it, keep sharing with people that I know. But then I started putting myself in spaces where again, I didn't feel I belonged. But through that I was able to meet people who also felt that way or were in the space and had a different mentality about it and had other connections.
And so I think the other step is if there's a possibility to physically go where. There is a version of the space that you wanna be in. There's so many people, and people like, at least in LA I feel like I know my experience, I grew up in like 20 minutes, 20 miles outside of Los Angeles.
So I've grown up in Southern California. But I think like LA has this rap of people being like super flaky and all of this. Hasn't super, that hasn't really truly been my experience. I think maybe the more people I meet, maybe, but people like want to do cool shit with you. So if you have an idea and you have the fortitude to see it through, like people wanna help you it's really wild.
But I have met I will say. The term I use for these women is we all parachuted into each other's lives at this exact moment. So much along, like the things that I've been manifesting, things that I wanted to manifest, community was such a thing that was missing. And I, you grow up, you meet different people, different people.
And I didn't feel like I had the community that like fully accepted me in this form yet because I had no idea what that meant. And at one of these events. I met them and we have like just, we have just this like incredible way of uplifting each other. We're all in tangentially in motor sport or directly in motor sports and like really just are doing our own thing.
And we all just met each other at this weird moment where things just started expanding for all of us. And so I think manifesting your community is also like something that's super important. 'cause I think at least a lot of times here we think about ourselves as individuals and we're like, okay, it has to come from me.
I have to do the things. And maybe I'm probably projecting because I let me talk as myself, lemme talk as me, lemme hold that back. I'll talk as myself. This is, you know me and I have to get it and I have to push it. But it's like I literally could not have done. Half the shit I've done in the past year without the support of this community.
And so I'm so grateful to them. And I think yeah, just being able to put myself in situations where I just turn around to the person and line behind me getting coffee. It'd be like. What's up?
Yeah. I, you never know. You never know. Who is the new friend, the new person, the new next step, the new, it's, I just love that you're doing that and I really hope everyone listening hears that of.
Just tell people what you're up to. Please tell people what you want. That leads me to asking you what is something that you need or want that we can help manifest or even just literally cause for you,
oh bitch, this is amazing. Oh my God, that's so powerful. God, I. What to stunt drive only electric cars.
That is something that I have had in my mind since last year, and I'm in that space now of being excited because I have no idea how this is going to come to light. But being in electric cars, converting old vintage cars to electric, these are things I want to learn more about. Getting to know electric cars in the way where I could actually.
Do some stunts in them. All of this, like this is something that I really like. I have this version of me that I called BET Electric. That's because it sounds like evil Knievel, it sounds like an old, like old it good like stunt name, right? Yeah. So it's like BET electric.
I can see the merchandise already. I love it.
It's like the helmet and everything. I know that's this iteration of myself that's coming. I have no idea how I'm, how it's going to manifest, but I've already had some opportunities to get into like Formula E. And like Formula E is so sick and if you haven't watched it, I could go on about it for years.
So like we could talk offline about that. But there's so much out there in the form of sustainability and like the tech and everything. And that is just so interesting to me. So electric cars is something that I'm very curious and interested about and want to. Don't drive them, and I'm saying it out loud.
Thanks for giving me the opportunity to do that.
Yeah, we, there's so many things we want. I actually had a stunt woman Sydney Olson on the podcast and Awesome. She gave me this great tip that I've hung onto of you have your to-do list, which is the stuff that you know how to take action on.
And then you have your to manifest list, which is the, this is what I want and I have no idea how it's gonna happen. Yes. And I think we like the to-do list is like we got that we're good on that list, but like we don't talk about the to manifest list enough of here's some crazy idea. Have who's.
Who can gimme one ingredient or one next step or the contact, like if we use our community. I had a workshop yesterday and I used, sisyphus, the guy pushing the rock up the mountain as one picture. And then I had, do you know that Greek story of it's a whole life. So I had that and then it's dark.
I'm curious where it was going. Oh,
Damn. Most people, when we think about how we create our best life, we're like, it's us up the mountain carrying it all. I'm like, and then I had a picture of this hippie commune. I'm like, which option of life do you think is more fun and effective?
Amen. And they're so contrasted and everyone's obviously the commune. I'm like, yeah, and you don't need to live in a commune to make your life happen, but Correct. Ask people for help. Carry the burden, let people contribute to you. Like I don't there's nothing that we have to do on our own, literally nothing.
So if we even took 10% of what we're trying to do by ourselves and shared it with people. Maybe it would happen. Maybe it happened faster, more fun. Yeah. Lots of options.
Exactly. And that's the thing. I had another friend who was like. I taught her how to drive stick, and she's who's your dream guest for this show?
Yeah. And I'm like, oh my God, I need to focus in on that more. Like I, I want to have like different, very different like drag queens on my learning stick show. Like I just wanna have everybody on the show. And so having more guests and she was just like, I can help you with that. Oh my God.
Okay. Even I'm still even like someone wants to help me. What do I do? It's just take one step just take one step in. You don't have to have the whole thing planned out. It's like you said you wanted to help me with this, or this is what I need help with. Here's my one step in see.
The path takes you.
All right. I'm gonna volunteer myself for learning stick with one stunt, like one easy stunt. I wanna level up. That's awesome. Just one gimme one that I can play with. Yeah, it's a
little bite. Bite. Yeah.
Even if it's just a quick stop. Like an ice skating stop would be really fun.
Yeah. We'll just
pull the e-brake again.
Yeah. And then you can watch my face be like, ah,
getting used to tires screeching is funny.
Because you're like, this is a good thing. You wanna hear that? Yeah. And meanwhile your whole body's no. Yeah. Mine is, yes.
When we ask everyone where they put themselves in the powerful lady scale, if zero is average everyday human and 10 is the most powerful lady you can imagine. Where would you put yourself today and where would you put yourself on average?
Ooh. Okay. Whew. Today. Today I'm feeling like I'm feeling like a seven.
I'm feeling like a seven. I feel like some days I can go up to an eight. Some days I can go to a six, but today it's like I'm happy I'm talking to you. Just posted another episode of my show. I know these things are happening. You've given me such like great things to think about and affirmations and everything and I really appreciate that.
So yeah, I think today is a seven.
I love it. For everybody who wants to follow you, support you hire, you work on projects together beyond the show, where can they find you and do all those things?
Okay, amazing. So my handle's on Instagram. TikTok and YouTube are all stunt with bet like Stunt with BET.
And then you can find all of that stuff on my website, which is literally beep bitch.com.
So far the best domain name we have had shared on this podcast. Okay, good.
Literally beep. Beep. Like you're punking. Your hoard. BITC h.com.
Amazing. It says so much about you and how you are approaching this world. I love it. Oh, thank you. It has been such a pleasure to meet you today. I'm so excited for what you're creating and how you're stepping into what just brings you total joy, and I cannot wait to see what you create this year.
God, thank you so much
for that. I really appreciate you saying that, and I'm so happy. I'm so happy I got to be here.
All the links to connect with Bette are in our show notes@thepowerfulladies.com. Please subscribe to this podcast wherever you're listening, and leave us a rating and review. Come join us on Instagram at Powerful Ladies, and if you're looking to connect directly with me, please visit kara duffy.com or Kara underscore duffy on Instagram.
I will be back next week with a brand new episode. Until then, I hope you're taking on being powerful in your life. Go be awesome and up to something you love.
Related Episodes
Episode 270: Skating Across America to Break the Silence | Melissa Skeet on MMIP, Healing and Speaking Out
Episode 209: Kelly Roberts | Founder Badass Lady Gang & All Cool Things Running
Episode 181: A Practice in Believing In Yourself & Leaping into The Unknown with Sydney Olson
Instagram: @stuntwithbet
YouTube: stuntwithbet
Website: www.beepbeepbitch.com
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Created and hosted by Kara Duffy
Audio Engineering & Editing by Jordan Duffy
Production by Amanda Kass
Graphic design by Anna Olinova
Music by Joakim Karud
