Episode 231: What Happens When You Say Yes Before You're Ready | Ginger Fatale | Therapist & Dance Artist
Ginger Fatale (aka Kristen Crowe) is a licensed clinical counselor, board-certified dance movement therapist, and the founder of Soul on Fire Dance, a burlesque studio that helps adults reconnect with their bodies through movement, confidence, and community. In this episode of Powerful Ladies, Kara and Ginger dive into how somatic therapy and dance can heal what talk therapy alone can’t. They explore the power of embodied confidence, how to build safe, inclusive spaces, and what it really means to step into your voice as a change maker, entrepreneur, and self-made woman. This is a powerful conversation about leadership, creativity, redefining success, and being real-on stage, in business, and in life.
“Everyone is inherently different from you. Be kind to one another because we don’t always understand what the other person is going through.”
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Follow along using the Transcript
Chapters:
(1:49) Why Movement is a Key to Healing Trauma
(4:15) The Difference Between Talk Therapy and Dance Therapy
(6:00) Centering Queer and BIPOC Communities in Mental Health
(8:00) What Trauma-Informed Dance Spaces Really Offer
(10:30) Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn - And How to Recognize Them
(13:15) From Therapist to Burlesque Studio Founder
(15:00) Owning a Business and Leading with Purpoe
(17:45) Finding Your Voice and Standing Firm in Your Vision
(20:00) Creating Community Through Dance and Performance
(23:30) Redefining What It Means to Be Powerful
(25:45) Honest Communication vs. Sugarcoating
(30:00) Building Inclusive, Trauma-Informed Creative Spaces
Your brain holds lots of things and as a society we put a lot of stock into you can think through your problems or all of that kind of stuff, but when you were a kid, you didn't have any words for a lot of these things. And so your body holds onto.
A lot of those experiences. That's ginger fat.
I'm Kara Duffy and this is The Powerful Ladies podcast.
Anna is amazing at sending incredible recommendations to this podcast. She is a graphic designer that we've worked with for since the beginning of powerful ladies in all of my businesses. And when she gives a recap of someone, she includes all the things. And when you popped on a few minutes ago and we were getting ready, I said, there are so many juicy topics that are in your warehouse that I'm excited to talk about.
So let's tell everyone as we start your name, where you are in the world, and list off some of those things you're up to and we'll dive into them and their kind of content more as we go.
All right, perfect. I go by the stage name of Ginger Fatale. So I own a burlesque adult dance studio in Santa Ana, California.
I live personally in Long Beach, California. I am also a licensed professional clinical counselor, board certified dance movement therapist, and working on my sex therapy certification. I produce burlesque shows for professionals and perform professionally around La Orange County. And I feel like that's probably like the big topics.
So as I warned everyone who's listening, just a few things that you have experienced specialty or expertise in. I wanna begin with the therapy side of things. How did you know that is where you wanted to spend your time?
That was just one of those like subjects that sounded really cool in high school, which sounds really lame.
But no, not at all. I was like, oh, I'm a nerd about this stuff, so I'm into it. And friends have always talked to me about their problems and that just seemed like a natural progression. But as I started, in undergrad and things, I was like, I really love. All of this. And I was gonna go to school to get my master's to be a social worker.
And as I like started applying, I was like, this sounds terrible. This is not my calling. And so I was just looking around and I found, literally stumbled on a dance movement therapy as a master's program. I was like that. I don't know. I don't know what it is about that. I don't know exactly what that is, but that's what I need to do.
Then I got my master's in that. And I love using people's bodies and their movement to just help them keel and help them be more integrated. It's a huge, it's just amazing. I love being that
in the past six to nine months, maybe I have heard more about either people who have been on this podcast or friends of mine.
Talking about how they have found a movement-based therapist and how it's the only thing that's made a difference for them. So for people who have no idea what we're talking about, what is movement-based therapy and how does it tap into parts of our psyche that other modes of therapy can't?
Yeah, absolutely.
There is a huge umbrella of like somatic therapies. I specifically am a dance movement therapist, so that's what I know the most about. But in terms of how it's different than talk therapy, like your brain holds lots of things and as a society we put a lot of stock into you can think through your problems or all of that kind of stuff, but.
When you were a kid, you didn't have any words for a lot of these things. And so your body holds onto a lot of those experiences and we experience trauma in our bodies. We that's like that fight. Slight freeze fawn response, right? All of that's a body-based experience. And so when you really wanna dig into something, your body holds so much more wisdom that we just need to be able to tap into, and your brain can only process so much.
So as we kinda work through that, it releases that, and what helps you work through it. It's just a much deeper processing.
A friend of mine described her a recent session where. The therapist was like throwing a ball gently at her and then getting a little bit more aggressive about it, and it was no big deal.
And then they asked her to throw it back at them hard, as hard as they could, and they couldn't. And he was like, great, we got to where we wanted to go. Let's unpack that. And she's like, how did that happen? How did you use my body to break into my brain?
Yep. Yep. And it can just be sometimes a little weird thing like that.
You're like, how is that gonna do it? Yeah. Yeah. Magic.
And I really love that you have gone on to. Do or do you own or have you created or partner with the open space therapy collective? What is your part in that? So I can clarify that for everyone listening first.
I am a clinical supervisor and lead therapist that is actually a human that I went to grad school
with founded that.
Amazing. So for everyone who doesn't know what is open space therapy collective. We are a
queer centered bipoc centered therapy practice and we practice out of Silver Lake, California. And we are just a group of humans who wanna provide services for people who have been marginalized and, decolonize mental health.
'cause it's important.
It's so important. And what has surprised you about offering. Support services for that specific, those specific communities, like I think everyone is aware of how being marginalized ads intricacies to all the other things that were going on, different layers of trauma and need. But how have you been surprised of what offering that has opened up for yourself or for some of the people that you're working with?
Both both myself and my clients. I think so many people come to me and, or come to us in general and they're like, it's been so hard to feel seen. My therapist wasn't engaged. I had to do a lot of. Education on my intersectionalities and that's just so much labor. And we're like, you don't have to do that here 'cause we get it.
And so I feel like it leads to such a deeper connection and a deeper processing so much faster instead of going through all of this. Therapy is enough work. You don't need to be educating your therapist.
It's it's something that occurs to me is obvious, but I, until you just explained it that way, I am like, oh yeah, like everyone's showing up with their stuff or lack of knowledge and I can only imagine how painful it is to think you're going to, a therapist is gonna help and then realize as much as they wanna help, they can't even get to like level one.
Okay. Whole new door opened in my brain of all the things that could happen and go down that space. But how are you balancing for yourself, the therapy side and the dance side because you have that other side of you, the ginger feral where they sound like they could be contradictory spaces.
But I'm gonna guess that you're gonna tell us that they're not really, not even a little
bit. So I founded soul and Fire Dance. That is my dance studio. I founded that because there needed to be a space for folks who wanted to express themselves through dance and for it to feel safe and for it to feel good for once when you get to be an adult.
There's so few spaces that. Want that. They're all the competitive dancer. You're gonna be in these commercials or you're gonna go on tour. And some of us are like we didn't start dancing until we were 25, so that's not in mope, that's not gonna be a thing. And so all of my dance instructors are trauma informed because being a movement therapist, I know that.
Trauma is stored in your body. And so we might do a thing and someone's freeze response. And you're like wait a minute, what happened? And so I want all of my students to feel safe and I want all of the students that come to the studio to also feel that. So while they're seemingly contradictory on the outside, the premises are very similar.
Very
similar. And I think I heard you say, and maybe, and correct me if I was wrong, that there's now like a fourth F of flight. Fight, flight, freeze. And did you say fawn? Fawn?
What is Fawn? Fawning is like the people pleasing, like anything is. That's fine. That's okay. That's great. Uhhuh just going along because anything else is too scary to just getting yourself stuck into
the river.
Okay. And how, and I'm gonna nerd out on this little, the four F's for a second. So I think everyone understands the flight or flight response. And people are starting to see the freeze response, but do people have all four of those responses within them? Is, are they, is one dominant? Is it situational?
I feel like that really depends
on the person. I feel like most people definitely have one that they kinda lean towards. But yeah, it can be absolutely situational. I definitely find myself like for me personally, I do a lot more freezing. But there are some things where I will go straight into fight and you're like, oh, that was interesting.
Lemme do some work about where that one came from. So
yeah. I have a funny fear that if I lean too hard into a martial art space. That it'll unlock something where I don't know when to stop. Like I've done a couple jujitsu classes and they're fun and like it was me looking ridiculous most of the time.
So I laughed at myself more than I was a threat to anyone besides like accidentally poking some in the eye, which is a big no-no. Fair. But I always get nervous of I've never pushed myself in that kind of fighting combative survival space. And I have this irrational fear that I would get in a situation that would scare me and I would just, this fight version of myself that I've never seen would come out.
And part of me is oh, maybe we shouldn't do Jiujitsu if that's what I'm worried about. Maybe you should see a dance
therapist
and you can work through those
things.
Maybe I need not people touching me to move Yeah. To experience that. It's just so silly, but I think. To you, to your point earlier of people have one, or you're familiar with the one that you often have if you've seen it, but I get nervous that I have the other ones and don't know it.
Like the people who get scared and punch them in the face because that's their automatic response. I'm like, what if that's secretly inside of me? Ooh, okay. I need to look out for that. Which again, I doubt I have.
But just to put therapist hat on, what would be so bad about having some fight response in you?
Nothing, and I think that's why I think I've tapped into it in small ways. Whether it was being a competitive athlete or. The thing, it's the thing that you don't real like when the trigger and response is so close together that you don't notice it. There's moments when I'm like instantly going to mama bear mode, especially for clients, people I care about where all of a sudden I'm like, wait, what?
And I, that is not people who know me be like, that is not a care of response. But I think they can see when. The horns like slowly emerge from my head. Just like coming up. Yeah. Yeah. They're like, one horn has come out because they can, they see that like stiffness or the body shift when I'm in that mode.
But it's never been where I'm like, oh, now we're gonna fight. It's more of, it's preparing. Preparing for battle definitely starts to happen.
Yeah. And I feel like that's a normal res, like that's a normal response, right? Like I'm feeling protective, I need to Yeah. Get into that and so yeah, you will have body shifts 'cause your body has to tense up.
It has to protect, it's gotta find its power somewhere.
Yeah. And I'm apologize for whomever I have my unintentional automatic fight response to whenever that decides to emerge. If they triggered you, maybe they deserved it. I don't know. Maybe they deserved it. Yeah. If we go back to 8-year-old, you.
Would they have imagined that this is what you're up to today and this is how you're serving your community and yourself? No,
8-year-old me hadn't even started dance lessons yet. I was still like awkwardly trying to figure out what kind of extracurricular like thing I was supposed to be doing. So if you told me that I was running a dance studio and like doing all of this other stuff, I would just look at you and be like, that's funny.
What did you, you have two left feet. What did you imagine you'd be doing at that time?
What are you even doing at eight years old? I feel when I was eight I was like, I wanna work with animals and I wanna be a vet. And that sounded like a good thing. And then, I'm way too sensitive to work with animals like I.
Yeah, I couldn't do that. So power to them. 'cause they're important people, but that is not in my wheelhouse. So I'm really glad that was not what it was, but I think I wanted to be a veterinarian.
Is that a cat I hear in the background? Yeah,
she, the cat would really like to go outside, so she's attacking the door.
Sorry.
Oh no. Do you wanna let go? Let her outside? You can.
No,
she's an inside
cat.
Oh.
So she, she
thinks she's an outside cat. She can, she was a stray and came in from the outside and was like, I live here now. But then she's but I wanna go outside. I'm like, you wear a leash now? Yeah. Yeah. So we can't do the two things at once. She'll get over it.
What has it been like to step into your own power as a business owner?
Hard. It's been really hard and really scary. I feel like I have trained my brain for so long that I can't do anything by myself. I need help. I need this. But at the same time, being very independent, can't ask for help. So when I started this, I needed like a business partner and I needed this, and I needed all of these things to learn and to do all the things right.
And then as it progressed, the universe very quickly told me like, that is not what this is. This is your baby. And yes, you have people around you who are supportive and loving and things, but like this is your contribution to the community. So you need to own it. And you need to do exactly what you feel is right.
And if other people don't like that, then oops. Yeah.
I think that brings up a really interesting topic 'cause so many people are paralyzed in regards to like delegating. They're so afraid to be the bad boss they had. They also, there's a narrative in our culture today about prioritizing collaboration, and I don't think we've been responsible talking about the power of collaboration.
And we've left out the piece about what it means to be a leader and how like it's collaboration is not about unlimited compromise. And I think that it's, having business partners is an example of that. Like great leaders are not liked often. So how are you, how comfortable are you to not be liked is a really interesting question.
And do you believe in it enough to not be liked all the time?
Yeah,
I feel like that was really hard for me to learn. But at that point it got, you get to the point where it's it's my business or this person who I don't actually agree with. And so is this my voice and my calling or is it people pleasing and where am I gonna go with that?
But collaboration. Like you said, it's not unlimited compromise, but finding people who are maybe other business owners with similar missions and you're like, I can collaborate with you. I like this piece. We can create this baby. It goes out into the world. All right. Moving on.
Yeah, like I think we also get this loyalty element where once you have, you've done something with someone and you're like, we're just gonna work together forever.
And it's should we, do we want to? Yeah. Like we, I think it is really interesting that. Back and forth of believing so firmly in what you're creating and knowing you can do it, and at the same time being like, I have no idea what I'm doing. How, like, how do I make it happen? Because I do believe that we're not meant to do life alone, and it's so much easier when we have our village and our team, but it doesn't have to be.
It doesn't have to be a whole bunch of leaders trying to work together. It's way more of like, how do we all fit together to fill in the blanks?
Yeah, absolutely. I found that business coaching was my, like that was the thing and I was doing one-to-one coaching. And she was amazing and pushed me through a lot of my blocks and it was fantastic.
And then I got put into a container with other. Business owners and I was like, okay, so somebody sees me, but I'm still making the decision, but they can listen to me, freak out for a bit and then like they'll have to go make the decision. But somebody heard me and isn't gonna try and give me like the advice, they're just gonna be like, yeah, you're cool.
It's fine. It's
fine.
Yeah.
Go do
things now.
Even just to have, in the My Thrive Group that I'll do, I'll ask people like, who's feeling the same way as and like the whole, everyone in the Zoom raises their hands and they're like, oh, really? I thought it was just me. And you're like, no.
What business owners freak out on is actually a pretty short list that we just keep repeating, freaking out about.
It's so true. Just has a slightly different color to it and you're like, oh, it's exactly the same thing. Alright, cool.
And I think sim, I'm sure you see this with your therapy clients, that we think we've dealt with something and we're done with it, when really we just keep dealing with the same thing at a different level or different capacity.
If you have a money story, you're like, Ooh, it broke through at $5,000, and you're like, okay. And then you're like, why have a money story at a hundred thousand? You're like, 'cause we didn't get deep enough the first time. Because now there's more things added to it.
Yeah. It layers down. Yeah, definitely.
When you see the impact that you're having on the students at the dance studio, how does that change? Your perspective on the world and your perspective on yourself.
Oh, I feel like I'm still working on taking all of these things in. So we did OC Pride this past weekend which is a huge event, like 35,000 people.
And I put my students up on a stage on there for the second time and just watching them. Like light up. And they looked so powerful and like they all, a few of them came up to me crying afterwards, and then I started crying. I am so excited to be able to do that. And then at the same time am I really doing that?
I'm like, no, of course you are, because you made all these connections and you put this all together and that wouldn't have been a thing otherwise. But I think the feedback loop is still really hard for me.
Like
they would've done this on their own? No.
No,
and no firm. No. Yeah. And I, and logically I hear that, but my body, I'm still working on my own stuff, but like my body's eh, maybe it's getting easier.
Like the more they just come up to me and or crying happy tears and giving me hugs. I'm like, okay, no I can take this in. It's a practice, but I can take this in.
Yeah. There's such gratitude. In that space.
Yeah.
Yeah. For everyone who's listening, you have a t-shirt on that says, don't be a Lady, which I love says be a legend at the bottom.
Oh makes the shirt even better than I already thought it was. Don't Be a Lady, be a Legend. Yes. Maybe we're changing this podcast named Powerful Legends. I'll back to everyone on that. So with. I want you to tell us what your definitions are of powerful and ladies, and if that definition changes when they're next to each other, and how that aligns with the shirt you're wearing today.
Free parter. So sorry. I'll repeat
it if we need to. Okay. We'll start with powerful. Powerful to me, I think is being. Honest and open and true and genuine, and being able to stand with those things, even if other people don't like it is your truth and your power, right? Like it's, that's what's inside you.
And if that's your voice and you have to be able to use it, that's what I feel like that is for me. A lady. Being a queer person, I'm still, I think I'm still struggling with what lady means to me. What an immediately conjures up when I said it this first time is like crim and proper kind of thing.
And I'm like, oh, I hate that. That's not what that is. Women or ladies are so downplayed so often and it drives me bananas. Fucking hate it. We're strong, powerful humans too. And oh, and I used powerful. And so I guess when they're together, i'm like, yeah, let's do the thing. I don't know what it is.
I don't know where we're going,
but we're gonna go somewhere and let's go do that and it's gonna be awesome and we're gonna have fun. And it's gonna be ridiculous. Yeah. Uhhuh. Yeah. And you can't stop us. You really can't. You mentioned being genuine and being authentic to yourself is what powerful is.
What has that journey been like for you in stepping into your own power?
I feel like I am honest and genuine, probably to a fault. I don't like bullshit. I don't like to sugarcoat everything that comes out of my mouth, that I'm mean. And that unfortunately, or fortunately, that is in all spaces.
Like I tell it to my clients like that. And I've been fired for being too blunt. But I come at it to my friends and my students and everybody is just. If I think that you're holding back or you're doing something, then that is what I'm gonna tell you. I think you can do better. And I want people to tell me that too.
And then I think the like feedback loop is always you can always do better. No hold so yeah, I don't know if that answers your question.
But that's what I, I. I, I like directness as well, and when someone is direct with me in positive and negative ways, I really go back to that, that saying of behind every critique is a commitment.
Like people are telling me the truth because they want me to know the truth, so I can get either back in alignment with who I am or wanna be or where I'm trying to go. To me, when you're honest and direct with someone, you're respecting them at such a different level than what happens on a regular basis.
When some are, when someone sugarcoats something, it tells me that they don't think I can handle it. And that's very triggering for me. But it's a. Why do you think I'm small or smaller than you are where you can't even tell me the simple truth about what you're thinking, and also why are you letting me tolerate something either to myself or from other people that I shouldn't?
The horns are coming out. I'm gonna try to Yeah, I was gonna say I'm watching you shift. So many people are worried about. Gentle communication. So where do you think gentle communication is effective and should we have it at all? And where?
Where's how can direct, how can people hear direct feedback and
not be insulted by it? I think gentle communication, definitely, at least that comes out very well. Often in the therapy space too, right? Okay, something about inner child came out cannot be as direct with them. But like I can still ask the same question.
It's just gonna be a little gentler. My approach to it is the truth still the same? Yeah. Yeah. I think it's just the way that it gets phrased. In terms of direct feedback, there are so many places where that has been harmful for so many people. That taking that in is, it can be really painful. For me specifically, it is just knowing the person that I'm gonna give them feedback or even prefacing it with I'm gonna tell you something you might not like.
Are you okay with that? And then they get the option to say yes or no. Are you prepared? Ginger's coming out for a second, she's gonna coming in hot. So yes. No I think it's preparing people and sometimes it's just getting them used to my style and be like, I'm not gonna change, so you can either take me or leave me.
Yeah. Yeah. When I think the masters of communication and probably what you put on when, with like your therapy hat, when that your therapy hat's on is. Being aware of what the listening is you have in the room because people who's listening, you've got, and I'm sure you don't think twice about just telling them how you feel.
And there's, I think there's such an interesting mastery. It's like a Jedi mind trick of knowing when to use which toggle to produce the same results. It's part of why I love all like communication. Training and courses and whatever new research is coming out in that space. Because we can create, so we can, we create everything with our words, literally everything.
And if we can master the words and all the other elements of tone and body language and everything else that goes into it, it really allows us to step into our creating whatever we want in such a different way. I wish more. I wish communication was one of those things taught in school.
It really should be.
I have a friend who teaches nonverbal communication at Cal State Long Beach, and I'm like, I, that should be a required course for Yeah. Literally the world should be. Yeah. I need you to teach that to everybody on the planet, please. Thank you.
Yeah, exactly. Where did the name ginger Fatal come from?
So I named myself after Ginger Rogers because she can do anything that Fred Astaire does, but backwards in high heels.
And fatal. I just always wanted to be a fem fatal. Yeah, so it's like double badass. Yeah. And I named myself when I was 20, so that sounded cool at the time. It worked. Still sounds cool now, maybe my thought process would've been different now, I don't know.
Is it like your, do you feel like your whole personality changes depending on which, like name you're using?
Oh, it totally used to and now it doesn't at all.
Who, who's taken over? They in the middle somewhere, like government name and Les name met in the middle somewhere. Ginger has always been much more assertive and commanding, and I think that those were definitely things that I wanted in my life.
And as I practiced being on stage and like commanding people and then started teaching and just seeing the confidence in things that, that brought out in me, I was like, oh I could be like that in real life.
Yeah. When you think about all of the communities that you serve and just. Our community in general.
What are some things that you wish everyone just knew?
That everyone is inherently different than you we're? We're different humans with different viewpoints, with different intersectionalities, with different histories, and. Just to be kind to one another because we don't always understand what the other person is going through. And you might connect with people over one thing, but that doesn't mean that this other thing isn't gonna do something totally different to them.
So just to be open and kind with other people is like the biggest tenant of how I wanna live my life.
Yeah. What are you creating and what are you excited about for the back half of this year? Oh. That's been such
a funny question 'cause I was like, pride is everything. And Pride was three days ago. And I'm like, what am I doing now?
I'm focusing on producing more burlesque shows, like as a producer instead of as a performer, which has been really exciting. So I have a couple of things that I'm working on. I want the studio to grow some more. So if anybody is interested in taking dance classes, come and dance with us. And.
At the moment, I'm happy with where the therapy practice is. It's part ish, full ish time. And that feels good for the amount of showing up and being present that I do in all the other spaces. I like to be a whole present therapist. And so I feel like if I take on too many more clients like that, then I can't be that.
So
I had a conversation recently with both a client and a podcast guest about how. We have to pivot as business owners from when are we the talent to when are we the producer? And it's something that I think is also a learned navigation and for the work that you do, you're not just there and providing this amazing service, but it's the how much energy and focus it takes to just hold the space.
And like I, I, as a business coach, that's I think all my day is spent holding space. And so when people wanna talk after a full day of sessions, I'm like. Can we just float in a pool and not talk to each other and maybe just hold hands. 'cause that's about all I have capacity for. A hundred percent.
Yeah. So what are you doing to allow yourself to have a strong container for other people and to re like balance that energy? Like how, what are you doing to make sure that you have the all the energy and resources you need? I'm still
really trying to figure that out too. Baby businesses aren't needy things.
They're very needy things. Yeah. So what I'm starting to figure out is that like my heavy client loads are days that I don't teach, right? Yeah. They're days that I'm either not at the studio at all or like they. They're just they're separated on the days where I have to be in both lighter loads on both ends.
And just negotiating where those things are. I also recently made a shift. Part of the other thing that I do is I work inpatient psychiatry. That's another facet of therapy life. It's not just open space. And but being paid more for that was really helpful. I like made a shift in my job.
Employer. And so doing that, I was like, oh, I feel better being compensated. That feels safer for my own money stuff as a business owner. Yeah. But just negotiating little pieces here and there to see where that is. But I take my own dance classes, like I take my take from my teachers, I spend time venting to my friends, and sometimes I just lay and stare at the ceiling on my couch.
Yeah, I got a stern coaching session from my coach that sleep does not count as alone time.
Yeah. Mayan tells me that rest is not earned. Yeah.
You're like, oh, are you sure? Yeah. I really want to just lean in more on all of this.
Okay, fine. Yeah. Or a body just shuts you down. Yes. Because you need
a nap.
Yeah. Or you get sick, which is usually what happens to me, where I'll be like, everything's fine, and then I all of a sudden I'm like, oh, I have to stop.
Yeah. Really practicing the warning signs. Hence like all the juices I now have in my house where I'm like, okay, we're just gonna juice forever.
Yeah. Nutrients we had.
All those things that we, our bodies like that helped a lot. Thank you. Yes. We ask everyone on the podcast where they put themselves on the powerful Ladies scale. If zero is average everyday human and 10 is the most powerful person you can imagine, where would you put yourself today and on average?
Oh, I'm terrible at these. Let's see.
I'm definitely not most powerful human ever, but. Maybe today. Maybe today I have a solid five.
Perfect. I don't, yeah. And on average, I feel like today's a pretty average no. Today maybe. Maybe today I'm a six and on average at five. Because I'm doing a lot of code switching in my brain today. Like I've gone from therapist to podcast to meetings to, and now I've gotta teach later. And so brain is gonna do a lot of things.
So I feel more powerful today if I can handle it.
Yeah. Have you ever looked at the ripple effect that you're creating?
I'm too scared to do that still. I feel like on some days it's a lot more apparent than it is on other days, and some days I get really stuck on the back end of my business and I'm like, I'm not making enough money.
I'm not doing enough things. I haven't advertised today. I did. Did I make a social media post? I don't think I sent out that newsletter. Did I send that out? I don't know. And when I get stuck in that, I can't ever look at the ripple effect because I am so stuck in business brain. But there are some days when I'm just like, I need to turn that off and I will just sit in my lobby and I will stare at my students and be super creepy.
While someone else is teaching a class. And I see all of them like laughing and smiling and connecting and like then they all send this group, we're in like a gigantic studio group text, and they're all like, let's go to the beach together. And I'm like. These people came to me saying that they didn't have any friends as an adult because they moved somewhere.
From far or they moved from somewhere far away and now look at this community. That's pretty fucking cool. So yes and no. Some days I look at the ripple effect and it's really powerful and some days I get stuck, so I would like to spend more time looking at it,
yeah, I, yeah, I, it's.
There's a really cool exercise I've done where you write down everyone that you've impacted and then you start writing down everyone that they've impacted. And it's really incredible how quickly it gets to thousands of people. And usually whenever someone does it, they're like, but I'm just a nobody.
And you're like clearly you're not because you just impacted 3,572 people that you were able to count. Like the myth that powerful humans have to be Oprah is the entire genesis of this podcast.
That shifts some things. I will, I'll take that nugget of knowledge. Thank you. What opened up for you?
I don't know. I guess if I think about it that way, then maybe I am higher on your powerful ladies scale, right? Because. My, I'm gonna keep going back to pride 'cause it is the most recent thing in my brain. But like a bunch of my students were like, I felt really good up on that stage. And then audience members came up and they were like, I just wanted to tell you what your their performance meant, or your performance meant.
To me to see that. And then my students were like walking around pride and they would come back to the booth all excited and they're like, someone just recognized me from being on stage and told me I did a good job. And I was like, there are 35,000 people here. Yeah. And you just got recognized in a crowd.
Like how does that feel?
So yeah. Yeah. So we can already start with 35,000 people impacted on your list. So you got an extra zero already. Already. And we haven't even started counting yet.
Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. Maybe we'll bump me up to a seven. There's
no
rules.
There's no
rules.
There's
no rules.
We'll see. We'll see how that sits. I might text you later and be like, you know what? I changed my mind.
Please do. We've also been asking everyone who comes on as a guest, what do you need? What's on your manifest list? What is something you think is ridiculous? What is something you need right now that's really practical?
This audience and this community are. Very supportive, collaborative, and have lots of tools, connections, resources. So we're asking you what you want so we can really help move that forward, whether it's myself and my team or if it's whoever is listening right now.
I feel like the practical thing that I'm not even sure how I would get to it is I need like more students.
Like just to legitimately just to pay the bills, like I need more students. And then.
I don't really know. Yeah. I don't really know how that comes in. That's, if that's what you're asking, what I need, that's what I need. Yeah. And if you want something ridiculous, like this is not something that I'm expecting right now, but we're just gonna put it onto the universe, is that I no longer want to rent a space.
I want to own a space because I firmly believe that the only way that I can ensure the safety and like the energy and the. Stable. The ability for me to hold this space is if I own it and make all the rules. And if I've got a landlord or other things that are
chiming in, then that's not
clean for me.
Yeah.
Okay. So we're going to be creating a space that you can own and more students.
Those are my manifestations. Okay. And is there a number on how many more students you want right now or just any? Just more. Let's
see. I got 114 emails at Pride when we had a booth and did that, so let's take a hundred.
Okay, a hundred. Perfect check. All right, so everyone listening, we need a hundred more people who want to dance together and have a great time based in Santa Ana. And then we need a space also in Santa Ana. Are you open to it being other places? Partial to Santa
Ana at this point. However, I will make the caveat that all of my classes are also offered on Zoom, every single one of them because it increases accessibility for folks who aren't ready to be out in the world with COVID things or mobility or transportation.
So I can come to your living room,
is what I'm saying.
That makes it so much more exciting. Know everyone listening, you just got. I'm just seeing all the sparks happening. 'cause they're like, oh now I can join. I'm in, who knows where. Uhhuh. Yep. And I've had people from
the east coast, I've had PE People follow us from London, so you know, your class time might be weird 'cause they're alive, but it's an option
for sure.
Burlesque at four in the morning. Why not? I'm like, why not? That's one way to charge the day for sure. Sexy. Oh, I love that. That needs to be on things, okay?
I'll write it down.
For everybody who wants to come dance with you, support you, collaborate on things get, support the therapy that you're doing, where are all the places that they can find you and connect?
So the Dance Studio, you can find us. All of the contact information is@solonfiredance.com. Okay, perfect. And yeah, super easy. And then if you wanna find me as a therapy human, I will look the same with a different name. And that is open space therapy collective.com.
Thank you so much for your time today.
We bounced all over, so thank you for going on the ride with me. Of all the topics, we could have spent an hour just on each one, so we might need to talk about having you come back to dive in deeper in some spaces. I would love to. I just thank you for who you're being and the spaces that you're creating for people.
There's such an opportunity and a need for inclusivity and just safe spaces and love and allowing people to be their wonderful, weird self is self 'cause we all are. So thank you for creating that for people. I know how hard it is to be the one causing that space and holding it for everybody. So I acknowledge you for that and say thank you.
I sleep better at night. Knowing there are people like you out there doing the hard work and serving people in the same with the same level of love and dedication that I am. 'cause then it just reminds me that humans are good and we can figure this out and there's more good guys than bad guys.
So like how do we keep talking and connecting to each other and not stay disconnected. So thank you so much for sharing your story and for being us. Thank you so much for having me. This is great.
All the links to connect with Ginger, her Dance studio, the therapy collective and beyond are in our show notes@thepowerfulladies.com. Please subscribe to this podcast wherever you're listening and come join us on Instagram at Powerful Ladies. Please subscribe to this podcast wherever you're listening and come join us on Instagram at Powerful Ladies.
If you're looking to connect directly with me, visit kara duffy.com or Kara underscore Duffy on Instagram. I'll be back next week with a brand new episode and new amazing guest. Until then, I hope you're taking on being powerful in your life. Go be awesome and up to something you love.
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Instagram: @soul_on_fire_dance
Facebook: soulonfiredancecollective
Website: https://soulonfiredance.com
TikTok: @soul_on_fire_dance
Email: ginger@soulonfiredance.com
Created and hosted by Kara Duffy
Audio Engineering & Editing by Jordan Duffy
Production by Amanda Kass
Graphic design by Anna Olinova
Music by Joakim Karud
