Episode 63: How to Be a Boss in Hollywood | Melisa D. Monts | Producer, Director & Screenwriter
Melisa D. Monts is a producer, director, writer, and co-host of the podcast Don't Blame Me who has built a career across TV, film, and podcasting. From Fayetteville, Arkansas, she made her way to Los Angeles after falling in love with screenwriting in college, and she’s been making her mark ever since. Melisa shares how she hustled early, taking on multiple internships at once, and how those experiences taught her the skills that fuel her work today. She talks about producing three podcasts, working on Amazon Prime’s Mr. Student Body President, and collaborating with creatives like Chelsea Handler. Along the way, she reflects on the impact of her mother’s career in social justice, her own volunteer work, and the day she was blessed by Maya Angelou. Melisa’s story is a reminder that success is built on curiosity, hard work, and using your platform for good.
“Once I became my whole self verses just the parts that I thought fit, that’s when I really enjoyed life.”
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Fayetteville
Arkansas
Little Rock
Tennessee
Mississippi
Pennsylvania
Kansas
University of Arkansas
Los Angeles
UCLA
Mr. Student Body President
Webfest Berlin
Chelsea Handler
Maya Angelou
Bill Clinton
Big Brother & Big Sister
Happy Period
Food Forward
This is About Humanity
Scriptnotes Podcast
Shonda Rhimes
Ava DuvernayDon't Blame Me with Meghan Rienks
Directionally Challenged with Candice King and Kayla Ewell
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Follow along using the Transcript
Chapters
00:00 Meet Melisa D. Monts
03:20 Growing Up Across Multiple States
07:40 From Biology Major to Screenwriting
12:05 Moving to Los Angeles and Studying Filmmaking at UCLA
16:30 Juggling Multiple Internships in TV, Film & Podcasts
21:50 Producing Mr. Student Body President on Amazon Prime
26:15 Podcasting with Don't Blame Me and Directionally Challenged
31:00 Working with Chelsea Handler and Grace Helbig
35:40 The Influence of Her Mother’s Social Justice Work
39:15 Volunteer Work with Big Brother Big Sister, Happy Period & More
43:10 Meeting Maya Angelou and Bill Clinton
47:25 Advice for Thriving in Hollywood
Maya Angelou was coming to our community to speak. At the time I didn't realize how much of a big deal that was. But I remember her like reading my poem. I don't even remember what the poem was about. And she told me, she was like, you have a gift. Keep writing.
That's Melisa D. Monts and this is The Powerful Ladies Podcast.
Hey guys, I'm your host, Kara Duffy, and this is The Powerful Ladies Podcast where I invite my favorite humans, the awesome, the up to something, and the extraordinary to come and share their story. I hope that you'll be left, entertained, inspired, and moved to take action towards living your most powerful life.
Melisa D. Monts is a writer, director, podcaster, producer, screenwriter, and more seriously, she can pretty much do anything needed in the world of film, TV, and podcasting, let alone all of her volunteering. She hustled early, taking on multiple internships at once, and is still hustling today as a producer on three podcasts, including one key co-host loves writing and running a team.
On this episode, we trace her journey from Arkansas to la, why she loves Chelsea Handler, how she manages her time because she is the extreme end of what anyone as a human can get done in one day, in one week, and we talk about the day she was blessed by Saint Maya Angelou, all that and so much more coming up.
But first, if you're interested in discovering what possibilities and businesses are available for you to create and to live your most fulfilling life, please visit the powerful ladies.com/coaching. And sign up for a free coaching consultation with me. There is no reason to wait another day to not be living your best life when you instead could be running at full speed towards your wildest dreams today.
Hi. Welcome to the Powerful Ladies Podcast. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Before I have you introduce yourself to everyone listening, I asked Jordan why she recommended you, and I love what she said. She goes. She shows up every day like a boss, and she's boss on the top and party on the bottom.
Like she carries in things in these heels that I've never seen someone carry and run around in before. I'm like, she's she's real powerful. I'm like, that sounds powerful.
Wow. That is I try to present myself in like a I've found when I wear like heels and stuff, people take me a little bit more seriously 'cause I'm petite and so I try to look the part.
I love it. So everyone knows who they're listening to. Would you mind telling us who you are and what you're up to?
My name is Melisa D. Monts, and I am a producer, director, writer, A little bit of everything. And you host your own podcast also. I ha I produced three podcasts and I'm a co-host on one of them.
So I produce not too deep with Grace. Hel big don't Blame Me with Meghan Rinks, which I co-host. And then directionally challenged with Candace King and Kayla Yule. I love it. How did you end up in the world of podcasting? I've been I was working as an assistant for someone and we worked on television shows and podcasting and movies and stuff, and podcasting was part of it.
And from there it just grew.
Are you an LA native? So it's like easy to get into the industry as well?
No. Where are you from? No, I'm from Arkansas.
What
part? I'm from Fayetteville, Arkansas. And how did you end up out here? I okay. So I was first studying, I say I'm from Fayetteville, first of all. But I actually moved around a lot as a kid.
So I was actually born in little Rock, Arkansas. And I've lived in Tennessee, Mississippi, Pennsylvania, Texas, Kansas. I think that's everything. Yeah, that's everything.
You sound like our family. Really?
Yeah. And then I ended up back in Arkansas when I was in eighth grade. And my parents promised me once I got to high school, then we wouldn't move anymore.
I, we ended up back in Arkansas. I went to college at the University of Arkansas. That had always been my plan 'cause my mom went there too, no matter where we were gonna live. And so I went to the University of Ar of Arkansas. I was studying biology actually. So my whole plan was I was gonna be a dentist or orthodontist.
And I took a dental class and I did not like it at all. And I was like now I don't know what I'm gonna do with my life. And so I went and I talked to my counselor and she was like you've been taking like these writing classes and producing classes like just for fun. Maybe that's something you might wanna think about as a career.
And so this was like at the end of my junior year of college. And so I started looking into different things within, the entertainment industry. And I had, like I said, took a writing class. It was a playwriting class, but then that next semester they offered a screenwriting class for the first time.
So I took that and I was like, I really love that. And after I finished with school, I started looking into other programs here, like in Los Angeles. So I came out and I did worked on several student projects just to get my feet wet and learn about different things in the entertainment industry.
And once I like did that, I really fell in love. So I saved up some money for a couple years, and then I got in a car, packed up a car. My mom one of my sisters and my niece, we drove out here. And from there, it's just like I, I studied at UCLA, started studied filmmaking and. Just I did a whole bunch of internships and then it all rolled into being an assistant and then working on films and podcasting.
And from there, that's the story she wrote.
I think you really touched on things that really matter to a lot of the people listening in the sense of when you know that you have to pivot in life. How do sometimes it feels like you're like, I'm pivoting, but I'm going back down to the bottom again.
I've already worked this far. And so what I really hear is not only the perseverance, but like how did you choose what path to take? How did you get your internships? What did the hustle look like from the ground up?
I'm always, I've always been like, I always see a big picture of what I want my end goal to be.
And so from there I will. I always come up with what my end goal is gonna be. And then I set goals. So with the internships, I just basically this is when unpaid internships were still legal. And I was just like looking and I would just go online. There are several websites where you can look or like, through school and I just go do internship after internship.
Like I had friends that were in my programs and they they might do like one internship per semester, but I was constantly doing internships the whole time. And I think I, and from that, like I learned how to edit, which I wouldn't have learned how to do 'cause that wasn't part of my program that I was in at school.
And that the, from the editing really set me up for podcasting. Yeah. And then doing I had one where I was I just did script coverage all day, and so that set me up for the screenwriting. So I do a little bit of everything, and I think that's something that has helped me along the way because I have a skill in every subset of entertainment, and so I can jump in at any time,
and it gives you so much corporate collateral in being able to however someone needs you to show up, you're prepared. And even if you're not exactly an expert in that space, you know enough about how it all works together that you can jump in and make it all work.
Exactly.
No, I, and I understand how every part of the process works,
right? Now it sounds very similar to the path that I was following when I was working in footwear and apparel where I'm like, okay, if I want to. Be an entrepreneur and I wanna be the CEO of what we're doing. Like how do I know enough of everything where there's no reason for me not to be the boss.
And it was strategic, but I also threw that, got to pick and choose when opportunities would come up. Okay, do I wanna keep going down this path and get more more knowledge in this area? Or do I wanna take this other opportunity that will give me an alternative perspective and more and expand that corporate collateral?
And I think that a lot of people get stuck in, I have to have this one specific niche. And to me, I'm like, no. If you don't, if you don't love it and you're not like, no, I'm gonna, I'm just gonna draw things for the rest of my life. That's all I wanna do, then I'm like, no. Go do the other things.
Go try the other things. 'cause I think there's the illusion that you can't move around. Like it hurts you from a career perspective when in fact, I think it helps when you have. The bigger picture and the different skill sets and just scope of work that you can talk to.
And like for me, like I told you, I'm a writer and producer, not just a podcast, but I had a show that was on for four Seasons that you can stream on on Amazon Prime.
And so like in between my projects, the bigger projects, I always have my podcast too, that are still generating income. What was the show that you can stream on Amazon? It's called Mr. Student Body President. What is it again? Mr. Suit and Body President. Oh. And so Mr. Student and Body
President.
I was hearing Mr. Shoot the president, and I'm like, I haven't heard of that
one.
That's a, that's another good name for a show too.
Oh, you can have that one. I'll give that one to you. Mr. Student and Body President? Yes. Uhhuh. I'm familiar with that one. Okay. Awesome. And what is it like seeing your work showing up on Amazon
Prime? It is amazing because it wa it was on another streaming PR platform called Go 90 that Verizon had for a short period of time.
And and just being on like. For people just to watch on a screen anywhere was cool. But then taking it to the, that next level of being on Amazon Prime is even cooler.
Yeah. I think I've done powerful Ladies partnered with Web Fest Berlin. Okay. Last fall. And we did it because I know the woman who founded it and then she was on the podcast and it just became this natural fit.
But it was so interesting to step into the, a world that is not one that I'm familiar with and to see how many parallels there are across industries, but I love the fact that people who are writers and directors and actors and, all the things you need to produce a body of work that for streaming services to see how many amazing stories there are.
And also how they're coming together as a community to help each other's stuff get made and get promoted and found and I'm like, I love this. I love the. Grassroots, independent spirit that's running through it. Which I also see in podcasting to some extent too. Like how does it feel on the ground?
Do you feel that comradery and collaboration, do you feel like that there's a lot of spaces for people who wanna make something today for it to actually come to life?
Yeah, 100%. Because we're all walking around with a full recording studio in our pockets. 'cause our phones can record audio, they can shoot video and then you can put it up on YouTube and thousands of people, if not millions of people can see it as soon as you make it.
So there's so many opportunities out there.
Do you feel like that's making it more competitive or is it just meaning that there'll be more content and more platforms for people to take it all in? I don't
think it's more competitive because every, it seems like every second there is a new streaming service popping up.
Yeah. Plus all the networks have their own streaming services and then you still have got traditional TV and cable. There's so many more opportunities.
And I know that there's also a big movement when they were at, when I was at Web Fest about really focusing on women. That's why we were invited.
'cause it was the first like gender parity, gender neutral jury and submissions and all of this stuff. And just seeing how women and minorities are getting more attention in that space. I really feel like it's almost like a creative renaissance opportunity if people want to lean in on it. What's making you the most excited about how people are creating content today and films and podcasts and everything else under the sun?
That they're just doing it. And people feel like that they have an outlet to do it. And it's not like this secret Hollywood land where, you gotta be somebody's niece or nephew to get into it. You can just make stuff and people can see it. And if it's good then. The right eyes will see it
being in this industry.
Do you have moments when you've fangirled out on somebody and been like, oh man, that really was a little embarrassing. Yeah.
Yeah. Chelsea Handler was one of the biggest guests that I've had on a podcast before. And I walked up to her to bring her back into the room and she asked me how I was doing and I just looked at her and nod at my head and it just like that runs in my head all the time.
'cause she's someone like, she's a big part of the reason why, like I got into the entertainment industry and I would watch Chelsea lately all the time. I had all her books. She even when I was coming out here to work on student films twice, I went to go see Chelsea lately live. And so being like one-on-one with her and she was the sweetest person too.
And she like put us on her Instagram story, like she was great. It, I was just like very nervous when I initially met her. She's the big, I've met like a lot of celebrities or people that I admire, but she's gotta be like the biggest one so far.
And she's pretty badass.
Yeah, she is 100%.
Who else inspired you and your path?
I think my mom is like one of my biggest inspirations. She she has like a ba in journalism. She has a MBA master's in Divinity and she's currently working on a doctorate. Like she, and then she damn runs all these she's. Runs all of these like organizations that are like social involved as far as building up the community.
And then she also is an associate director at the University of Arkansas as well. And she worked in corporate America. That's why we moved around a lot. Yeah. It's every time she got a promotion, then we had to move. So she, and she did a major pivot when she went from corporate America to education.
And she just she's inspiring.
What is it about her that you admire and or what have you tried to take on into your own path?
She's always busy and never bored, and she's always doing something or creating something or being an inspiration to someone. And so that is what really inspires me and drives me.
And what is it going back to Chelsea? What about her is what you said? That's my person, that's the one that I'm gonna follow and be inspired by. What is it about her that really you were attracted to?
She made me laugh and just took ownership of who she was and was very authentic And even like when she left eat, it was because she was just like tired of being so like surface level with her content.
And she just and she has her own production company. She just takes ownership and takes up space and knows who she is.
Yeah. When you look at what you're up to for this next year, what are you excited about? What are you like, what are you working on right now that everyone else can be on the lookout for?
I really
have my head down right now focusing on my screenwriting. Which I had kinda let fall by the wayside recently, but I've finished up the first draft of one screenplay working on another one and a teleplay right now as well. I'm also getting into, I've been prepping for directing my first audiobook, that's something new that's on the horizon as well. Very cool. How do you direct an audiobook? You. It's pretty much the same as how you prep for directing TV or movies or anything. Or anything. You get the script, which is the book. Sit down, go through outline how you want the the reader, the person that's narrating the book to say it, or the direction to give them.
Also like looking up words, how they should be pronounced and being in contact with the author like about certain names that it may be pro, like Lara Allure spelled the same way, may be pronounced differently. And then just showing up and giving direction to the reader or actors if it's a group setting for a book.
So it seems like your day to day and your week are very full. Yes. What is your schedule actually look like for people who are, like, how is it possible to do everything Melisa's doing?
It changes every day. I, like this week this week's a little different. We are, I don't know when this is coming out, but we are all a little bit in lockdown, quarantined
yes.
But
we're filming on March 15th. Okay. Or recording on March 15th. So we're gonna have some context. Yeah.
Yeah. But usually during the week Mondays I record directionally challenged with Candace and Kayla. Then I come home and I do some writing, editing and then Tuesdays I'm usually.
Recording with Megan for, don't Blame me. Then it's like I record in the morning, come home, write, edit, and then Wednesdays are usually just pure writing. Thursdays I record, not too deep, and then Fridays it's pure writing. It's, and it's also not just me. I have a team. So shout out to Shereen and Katrina and Amanda and all the amazing people that, that that work with me.
So
And they're your team, Katrina helps
team.
Oh, sorry. They are your team for writing, for producing. How does the team help you on and on which projects?
They're so Amanda does a lot of the videography and that's for the podcast. And then with Shereen, she helps edit and she's also my writing partner.
And then Katrina does some editing and then she also creates the promos in marketing. For podcasts and social media.
So you're a true example of what a girl squad can create.
Yes. Yes. 100%.
When you first moved to la did you were you able to find these women that are now in your squad and like on your team or did you have a journey of finding your right fit and your circle in la?
Like how did Yeah. You get from newbie to where you're today where you have all these projects and opportunities and a badass team,
Working on a lot of student films and other, just like outside projects. I met a lot of great people. For example, Rene and I, she actually. We worked on this project called Journey of the Vagina, which is like this web series.
And she was the, she was a cinematographer on that. And we've stayed friends. That was I think eight, seven or eight years ago. We stayed friends throughout all that. She worked, she does freelancing directors directing, and also has podcasts as well. And then once I was able to hire her on to be part of my team.
Then I brought her on to help with writing and. Other things that come up. She's a co-producer.
When I think of, is it Journey of the Vagina? Is that the right title?
Uhhuh, yes.
I almost don't want you to tell me what the storyline is, 'cause I have five different options in my head of what this project could be about, and most of them make me wanna laugh, so I'm excited for what that opportunity might be.
Yeah. It never. That was like a project where every one of us that we're working on it, we're all new to LA and still trying to figure things out. So it, it never really landed anywhere. It's, you can't see it anywhere. I still have copies of it on my hard drive, but it was a good learning experience for all of us.
I'm so tempted and a good networking experience.
I'm so tempted to make that like a exclusive premiere through powerful ladies
never before seen.
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
You're like, please. No.
Nope.
When you look back from, childhood to where you are now, would somebody have guessed that you're doing what you're doing today based on who you were as a kid and what you were up to?
You would think so, because I was always writing stuff. When I was in. Third, I would say like second through fourth grade, I was really obsessed with Power Rangers.
Oh yeah. And I
would sit and write what I didn't know were like teleplay or like scripts and I would write them at home and then give them to my friends and make them learn the scripts and then we would perform them at recess.
And I, that was always in the back of my mind, but I always have the, my Science mind too. So like I focus, I never thought of writing, producing, directing, like that being part of my career. It always just seemed like something fun to do.
Yeah.
And being a doctor was always the primary focus.
But then once I figured out that's not what I wanted to do for a career like I still sit in, like yesterday I was sitting and I was just doing algebra problems just because, just for the fun of it. Just to make sure my brain was still working in that type of way. But I wouldn't have thought that this is where I would end up.
Yeah. I do think that it's a sign of a powerful lady when you are orchestrating all of your friends to do what you want to do. I have similar stories of my own background of making everyone do school my way, like the pretend school. Yeah. And organizing a camp, a summer camp at our house when I was like nine or eight.
I don't know why my parents said yes to that, but there's something about now I'm curious
about what you were doing at the camp.
We did put on a play uhhuh. I remember like everyone having to dress up and we like got t-shirts from I think my dad, everyone brought one of their like, dad sized t-shirts and we made it into something and I remember like some people had face paint on, but I don't remember why.
It was like a week of, I think me forcing the neighborhood to do things and at the end we presented a play. That's what I remember. Wonderful.
I love
it. Yeah. There's a few pictures that still exist of it. But there's something I think really empowering about just like doing it, like just doing it because you can, right?
Like you did your tell plays for powerful rangers and you made your friends perform it and you're like, okay. This is a good day, guys. Thanks. It's a wrap. Yeah. Thank you.
Yeah, I'd get mad if they weren't doing it right, but, yeah.
How, what, when you think of powerful ladies as individual words and as a combined phrase, what does it make, what does it symbolize to you today and how has that changed over time for you?
Powerful ladies, I think to me that means someone that empowers people. So they they not only lead, but they also they also are an example of how to be a leader and also pull up others around them, other women around them and present opportunities for them.
And has that changed over time for you, or has that kind of been like what you always thought it was? That's always
been. Yeah. How I thought it was I remember when I was about 10 I had, there was this essay contest where Maya Angelou was coming to our community to speak to just like a group of girls.
And there was like this essay contest or you could write a poem, any type of writing, and then she would read it. Very cool. And so I remember her, I know it was like, at the time I didn't realize how much of a big deal that was. But I remember her like reading my poem. I don't even remember what the poem was about.
And she told me, she was like, you have a gift, keep writing. And that's something that's always stuck in my head and I'm sure she probably told every girl this, something along the same lines. But it was just like having somebody that was, a published author and I didn't know that she at the time that she was a director and actress and activist and all these amazing things, but she said words that always spoke to me.
So hold on. So we are currently in the presence of someone who, as a writer was blessed by maya Angelou. Yeah. But do you put that on your resume? I
feel like that
should be on your LinkedIn.
I don't I haven't and I haven't given much thought to it.
I now want somebody, I want someone to illustrate this now.
Like I wanna illustration of saying May Angelou like blessing you and you're writing and you're just like, oh, thank you.
Yeah. I'm just like a brat, like 10-year-old that's whatever lady thinks. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks lady. Thank you so much. We're like, all the adults around us are like freaking out. I was like, yeah, she's.
Seems pretty cool. I like her voice
seems cool for her grandma. I don't remember. Yeah. Okay.
I don't remember at that. I think, yeah, that would've been after. I do remember, 'cause she spoke at bill Clinton's inauguration. I remember. I remember seeing her on TV for that. So that would've been after. So I remember that.
But still like that just, it wasn't as big of a deal for me then as it is now
as a 10-year-old. There's no context to it at all. Yeah. Meanwhile, like you like go up, say thank you, shake your hand. You're like, cool. Can we get ice cream now? And you're parents like, wait, hold on. This is a moment that you are not appreciating.
Exactly. When you were talking about what you admire about Chelsea and your mom and even Maya Angelou just now I really heard in your share like this this. Red line of be someone being like a social justice warrior Yeah. And like standing up for themselves and also people in their community who like cannot stand up for themselves or don't have access to.
How important is that to you and what you're creating and the stories that you wanna tell?
Oh, that's so important to me. It shocks me how much people just don't care. About other people, how selfish people are. And just like in my everyday life, I do a lot of volunteer work. Like I volunteer with big Brothers, big Sisters.
I have a little sis that's 10 years old and I try to be like a good example for her. And then I also volunteer with a organization called Happy Period, where they provide menstrual products to women that are homeless. Food Forward, which is another organization where we go around to different farmer's markets.
'cause a lot of times they throw away the food that they don't have. At the end of that, they don't sell at the end of the day. So we pick up boxes and then someone comes and takes those to different homeless shelters. And then just any way I can give back, I try to.
What are the topics or issues that matter most to you if you had to choose?
Women's rights. Immigration's another big one. I took a trip down to the border with this organization called, this is about humanity last year. And it, we go, it's like down, we go down to the border and learn more about the crisis and make sure that this is mainly about like the children being separated from their parents.
And so with that organization they it's like making sure that the information doesn't get lost in the news cycle, that people are still talking about it. Immigration's a big one that I care about too. And just caring. It's just I, like my biggest thing is just like giving people to give a fuck about what's going on in the world.
Getting outside your bubble.
Yes. Yes. And is that something that you've been passionate about your whole life, or was there a moment that it, like you saw an injustice that you just had to, that it ignited your passion for it?
It's my whole life. I've always been volunteering. Like I said, my mom is a lead of a few organizations and then I thought that people volunteering was just like a normal thing that people did.
My family, mom, dad, sisters, we always volunteered. And then as I got older, I realized that it wasn't something that everyone did. And that bothered me a lot. So I've always, it's always been in my mind.
Yeah. What do you feel like there are privilege privileges that you have had based on the strength and connection with your immediate family that you were, lucky to be born into?
Yeah. It my I, I've, my parents are still married. I'm very close to my parents and my sisters and it, and even my like extended family, we're all really close. And it really as I grow older, grew older and realized that people weren't as close with their family and friends or their family members or and their parents.
It really hurt my heart.
That. Like parents just didn't care. Some people's parents just didn't care. Like, why would you decide to bring people in the world that you don't care about? Or just like other people, just not talking to family members. It just boggles my mind.
So I think that because of that, I can see a lot of good in the world.
And a lot of things things anger me, but they don't bring me down. They don't kill my spirit. Yeah. So I use that anger to drive change.
I love it. No, I think that, Jordan and I are really lucky to be part of a similar family. Like our parents are both still married. There's four of us kids. We're all pretty close. In fact, we were like driving around with our dad the other day trying to help him house hunt. Yeah. Like it catches me off guard when like your family isn't all up in your business. I'm like, is that a privilege people can have? That was a choice.
Yeah. But I feel really lucky about that and I really feel that a lot of my personal, like self-confidence or fearlessness about take trying something so other people think are scary comes from the fact that I didn't have to worry about those family foundational things. That other people may have.
And part of my mission is getting rid of the word, like I can't. Empowerment is so important to me. And, I, I truly believe that there's a blend of, your personal confidence access to resources and education and like access to a community that needs to bring all of this together, which I mean, ultimately is the foundations for the powerful lady structure.
But I just want everyone to know they can do whatever they want in the world. It's actually possible to be a thing. And as you said, be nice. Like we're so much more alike than anything else. Going back to the border crisis and the immigration and separating families, I just step back and I say, hold on.
If somebody tried to separate my family, like I would lose my shit. Me too. Who thought that was? A solution. Like it makes me think that one, like a mother probably didn't think that was a solution.
100% it wasn't. And it's ah, it's it's set up to psychologically scar people that, to scar people. It's set up by people that, by these government officials that think they're better
Than
other people. And so they do it to psychologically scar people. 'cause when you tear apart a family, then you're putting this mental thing in there that's gonna last in the rest of their lives.
Even when a lot of these kids are getting reunited with their parents, they don't even remember who their parents are.
Yeah.
And that's disgusting and sad.
If we have an issue separating, mothers and babies from the animal world. Why would we do it to humans? That's the part that I'm like, 'cause the people
that are doing it are dehumanizing the humans. It's all about dehumanizing them.
This I believe Gandhi has a quote about, the cultures and countries and civilizations in the world that have the best quality of life are often the ones you can measure that are also giving the best quality of life to the animals in their, in their space. And I think it really speaks to the empathy and the universal connection that people are just accepting. And we had a guest on a couple episodes ago, we were talking about. Like what makes Canada so great sometimes about how they have a pretty good policy of really focusing on diversity and they have an onboarding process for if you're an immigrant into the country and they're really good at doing, in my opinion.
This third part, my, my personal opinion of really doing good internal pr. Like they do good, be proud to be Canadian pr, and this is what Canada stands for from a very humanistic perspective. And I just wonder there are moments when I wish five year olds were in charge of government decisions.
Yeah. Because they would never, they wouldn't choose anything that would hurt someone. They would. We might have to calm down on everyone gets sugary cereals for life or something, but they're gonna choose no people should love each other. People should be happy.
People should have food. People should have a home. Like they're going, they know what they need. So I think that they would speak to that. And I don't know how we, what happens to us as adults where we lose that. We all need the same things.
It's like America, it's like America is the greatest and everyone else sucks.
And that is not the mindset that we should have.
Yeah. And even within our own country God bless
America, but fuck everybody else.
Yeah. And even in the us, we have a hierarchy, whether we want to accept it or not.
Yeah, we
do.
Are you hopeful that what's happening with I'm just gonna generalize, like people under 35 and even people under 20 do you see positive change happening in a way that gives you encouragement that fundamental changes are happening or on the brink of happening at a more rapid pace?
Honestly,
I think that people the, it's still a small amount of people that are trying to make change. I don't think that it's been like an exponential growth. I think that people are being, that you're hearing it or seeing it more because of social media. But it's still for that one person that's speaking out, there's five other people that aren't doing anything or don't care.
Yeah.
So I just think the more vocal that we are then maybe it will seep into other people's heads. But I don't know. I want it to be better, but I just, I don't know, like the fact that we have never had a woman president just baffles me.
And it's when we have these super qualified women that are running even like just this election cycle and they're not getting any votes that propelled them to be in the next to be seen as like a major competitor in, or even like the last two standing.
It's just bonkers to me.
I'm curious when the data research comes out. When we look at, for all of the candidates that were running for the Democratic Party, for this elect election cycle, I'm really curious how often in traditional media the women were shown mentioned or spoken about.
Elizabeth Warren was a front runner for a long time, and then they just stopped talking about her for a while.
Yeah. And then right before everyone was casting votes in the primaries. And that makes no sense to me, but we're still talking about other candidates that weren't.
Yeah. Yeah.
Makes zero sense.
And what I'd like to come back to, because what I'm clear on is that I thought you were already had a full schedule before we went into your volunteering and Activ activism.
So I'm wondering like. Do you do things that normal people would do, hang out with friends and go to the gym and like sleep? Yeah.
I go, I I am getting better about my sleep. I was like at the point where I was only like sleeping five hours a day, but I've made it so that, but, and I was barely functioning.
And so I've made sure now that I get eight hours of sleep every day as much as possible. Yeah. And then I go to the gym every, pretty much every day. I also have a bike at home, so I work out every day hang out with friends. I have one, I have had to limit myself to one social activity a week whether it's in the, on the weekend or during the week, but but also like when I go, a lot of my workout classes, are like, I go with friends as well. Yeah. So that's a social activity.
Yeah.
And then all the wonderful women that I work with, that I do podcasts with are my friends as well. So it doesn't even seem like work sometimes. Yeah. It just seems like we're getting together to hangout. So
yeah,
I think Inco incorporating work and friendships and I ha I, when, once I was able to get into a position where I didn't have to work with assholes anymore it actually made my life a lot easier.
Yeah. And it, I'm such a big component on doing your own blend of things because you get to do what you enjoy, you get to work with and hire whoever you want. And if you're having fun and you're working, it's a two for one. It's yeah, it's check, check 18 boxes all at once because you can, I think that there are a lot of people who get stuck taking the leap into what they care about or trying something out, because they're really attached to their very comfortable schedule.
Where, and then I just work, a nine to five, I come home, I get to do whatever I want. I can go to dinner every night. I can cook, I can, there's all these things that we have. Added value to that may or may not. Really have us be satisfied when I'm personally a person that will like, throw it all in a pot and mix up together and see what Yeah.
I'm actually able to do in a week now.
Yeah.
Saying that I also am in a period of time where I know I have to get more balance and I have to scale back my working hours 'cause it's too much. But I'm also doing it for all things that I care about. There's such a difference of working 14 hours a day for your business and what you love and what brings you joy than working 14 hours for someone else.
And the reason you're working 14 hours is because they can't get their shit together. When you could have done it in one hour. Like it's a totally different perspective.
It is for people who Oh, please go ahead and I don't yeah. I was just gonna say I'm not gonna knock anybody that has a nine to five that like satisfies you and that's great for you, but that doesn.
That's not good for me. Like I get bored. I can't just show up and do the same thing every day. Every day. My job is something different.
Yeah. And there are other people that would give a heart attack too. If they didn't know what to expect every day. So Totally. We want you thriving at whatever you, where you want to be, like.
The bridge I'm trying to create is, if you're not where you wanna be in some area of your life, I'm like, call me. We're gonna figure it out. Yeah.
I love it.
I haven't gone so far as to put my phone number on the website yet, but we might get there one day. You can get a
Google Voice number.
People can leave you the voice messages.
That actually brings me total joy. One of my clients one time said that I should have an Ask Kara Instagram account where like people could answer and I could post my answers. But I think a Google voice where I just want the voicemails 'cause it's, they're so fun to play back.
Yeah. You just gave me a new idea. Yes. For people who are following in your footsteps, what advice would you give them to either avoid some of the potholes that you've hit or to stay motivated through the whole journey?
I would say when you're first starting out and you don't know a lot about what you're doing put your head down and just do the work.
But also know that your time and the work that you're doing is valuable and you shouldn't be taking advantage of. Because I have been in the situ in situations where I've been taking advantage of because of all the things that I can do. And they're like, oh, you can do that, then you can do that for.
Less money than what if we hired somebody else like that? That's just their single job to do.
We'll just add it on top of what you're already doing. Yeah, exactly. But not pay you any more money.
So don't let people take advantage of you, which I, that was some things that I fell into, but real
quick on that, I'd love to uhhuh talk through, like how do you protect yourself?
How do you create those barriers when you are such a multi talented person? Like how do you have that conversation when they say oh, hey, I know we hired you for photography. But since you can market and do Instagram and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Can you do all of it and it'll be the same rate?
What do you say back?
So then I sit down and it on my own, I wrote out exactly what each job that I was doing, how much the market rate was for that to get paid, and then how many hours it took me, the job description, and then every single step in every day. Because sometimes really people just don't, they're so busy doing their own thing that they don't realize how much work that you're putting in.
For three weeks I wrote down every single thing I was doing, put it on in a spreadsheet and then said, Hey, can we sit down, have a talk? So I sat down, we talked it out, and I just said, this is all the work that I'm doing. I really love doing it. I would love to, to continue doing it, but I think that I should be paid more money for it.
And I've done that twice in my career, and both times it was the people just didn't realize how much work I was putting in, it just went over their head.
Totally. And I've been in that position as a person hiring someone or as a leader where like I'm running around with my head cut off and then I'm like, oh, you can do it.
Great. Let's go. And I know that I love when people stop me and say Hey you're not an idiot, but I think you might be an idiot in this area. Can can I educate you? And I'm like, yes, please. And I, yeah. Go ahead. No, and I just, I, that's my philosophy was so many things, like if someone's occurring to me as an idiot or maybe an asshole, or I'm like, how could they do this?
I'm like, time out. Did I, do I need to educate somebody about what I see or my perspective? And often when I follow your advice and do that, they are, I like, relieved, embarrassed, and oh my gosh, thank you for telling me.
And I I, now that I am a boss, I regularly check in with the people that work for me and are you being fairly compensated?
Are you, tell me everything you're doing? Is this too much? Do we need to pull back on this? Because, I, that is how you create a great environment for which people wanna work in. And like the fact that I've had someone call me like they, they said that I was a great role model for them, which I was like.
I'm a role model. And then they're like, you're like a amazing boss. And it just it really helped me see that there are, that I need to, that I, that when I'm doing what I should be doing, then people appreciate it.
Yeah.
And what was the other advice you gave for women rising behind you?
To always speak up. For example, one of the people that now they were doing freelance for me a couple years ago, but now she's on like my team. She, she was like, I really wanna work on this other project that you have, and I'll work on it for less money if you don't have the budget for it.
And I was, I told her, I was like, don't ever say that to anyone ever. If you enjoy working on it, I will bring, I, I can bring you on in like a limited capacity, but don't ever sell yourself short for any job, ever. I love that. And so once the job kept, like I was able to bring her on in a fuller capacity once we were able to grow the position more.
So
it sounds like you get a lot of pride out of being able to mentor and guide and be the leader that you wish you always had for
people. Yeah. Yeah. It's so easy not to be an asshole, and I don't understand why people don't see that like it's. So easy. Just have compassion for people. Remember where you were.
I don't believe in like this thing where, I did it so that's how it's supposed to be done. Or I had to struggle. No, no one has to struggle. Pay people what they should be paid, what their worth is, or you continue to do the work. It's easy as that.
And I think the reality is that everyone's going to have your own struggle no matter what position you're in.
Or what you have. So you don't need to be the one to force a struggle on somebody. There's gonna be enough struggles that happen without you helping. So it doesn't need to be the same struggle as yours. Like, why not clear the path? I love the quote of made the bridges eye burn light your way.
I hope that the pain and suffering that any one person's had to go through will not have to be replicated for like it to, for everyone to get it.
100%.
Someday I listen
to this podcast called script notes and I don't know if you're familiar with it, but it's like this Hollywood that's two big, like Hollywood screenwriters that created this podcast that they don't get like any money for it.
They just do it to help writers that are coming up in the business or even seasoned writers. And they have been very like, instrumental in getting a lot of the old way that Hollywood was performing changed.
I love that and I love
it.
Yeah. So you have three podcasts that you're working on. You're co-hosting one yourself.
You have produced a show that's on Amazon. You are volunteering, you are a boss lady. You are creating all these things. You keep writing. What are you striving for now and what are you chasing? What's next on your list and what do you see as an ultimate goal if you have one?
My ultimate goal is to have which I already have one, a small scale, but I would love to have a. A huge production company where I can it's women Focus where under the umbrella is all. I have podcasts and TV shows and movies and any other thing that's new and pops up in media 'cause it's always changing.
So I wanna have that big production company where I can just satisfy everything that I'm interested in the entertainment industry. So I I love Shonda Rhimes and she's got Shonda Land where she's has podcasts in. Had half the shows on A, B, C, but now she's moved over to Netflix.
Yep.
She's got a big deal with one of these radio networks. And then also like Ava DuVernay has her company and has Array, which is like a distribution company where she helps people of color get their projects seen. And so she's so awesome, by the way. She's so amazing. Yeah.
And those are some of the women that in the entertainment industry that I, that really I look to and figure out, like I see what I get on their like IMDB Pro and figure out like what different positions they're creating for people and figure out how I can have those. Positions or work towards those positions in my own company.
I think that's, it's so important to be looking at the people who are ahead of you or around you. And essentially like copying whatever they do. That's awesome. Yeah. Take the best practices, like what path did they follow? How did they leapfrog to where they're going? Not that you have to do it yourself, but Right.
It's no, like there's all this information out there. Go study everything you can about whoever's living the closest path to your life. Like, why wouldn't you get the cliff notes? Yeah. Yeah. Again, about making it easier on ourselves. If you wanna be the next Gabby Bernstein, go study what Gabby Bernstein's done.
Like Exactly. There's room for all of us. But like don't live in the place of Oh, they must be, have done something magical that I'll never be able to figure out. It's no, like all regular humans. Just at different at speeds right now. That's it. Yeah.
Yeah. That's Ava DuVernay says she didn't even pick up a camera till she was 30.
So it, there's no you're not too late or too early, or there's no just like right time for anything, you just have to do it.
What is your favorite thing about co-hosting a podcast?
Okay, so I don't know if you're familiar at all with this podcast that I co-host. It's called don't Blame Me.
It is a call in advice show and when we first started we were getting very high schooly questions. I don't know how to tell this boy that I like him, and stuff like that. And I was like, you know what? We gotta, we can't do this. This is not Megan. She. 24 or 23 at the time. She's 26 now. And I am like seven, eight years older than her.
And I was like, this is not helping anybody. So we just need to do an episode about sex. And then when we did that episode, we got so many calls that ex expanded for, two or three episodes, and then we just once we hit that threshold, that changed the type of calls that we get in.
So we're getting a lot of like mental health calls and sexual calls as well, and dating and like toxic friends. And our biggest thing is like if which it's a quote that Megan heard from her therapist, but it's a famous quote is if it's hysterical, it's historical. So if something is bothering you, it probably has something to do with something in the past that we need to like, get into and figure out why you're reacting to these situations.
And so it's really just like it's become a community, not just through the podcast and people, I, you don't wanna see my dms on Instagram and people send me. The most graphic questions about things in their lives that I don't wanna know. And I don't, I'm like, that I can look at your pictures and figure out what you're talking about in these things.
But just like a sisterhood. We've got a private Facebook group as well where people are sharing like experiences about things that they're going through. And it's very exclusive. Our decline rate is much higher than our approval rate. 'Cause we've got very specific questions that we ask each person because we want it to be such a like, safe environment where people can be open about who they are.
And I have just realized like how much we actually help people with the podcast. At first it was just gonna be something fun and like the tagline of the show was like you can ask whatever you want, but you can't don't blame me if the advice is bad. But now it's like actually we're actually giving like useful, valuable, life changing advice.
And since we've been doing it for three seasons now, we've got people like, they called in first season and they've told us like how much their life has changed in the last three years just because of one piece of advice that we gave them. How awesome. So it's just empowering. Yeah.
No, it's so incredible.
Like this is such a great example of how one person with. Or I guess technically two people with two microphones and a phone. Like you are making this ripple effect and it's not like it, podcasting is hard work and answering, giving advice Yeah. That you would give to a friend isn't brain surgery.
It's so doable. Like the impact that you're making and the impact other people can make. It's not hard to make the impact you wanna make. Just like it's not hard. To not be an asshole. 100% do it. Just share. And do it and be nice. Yeah. When you look at what's ahead of you, what are you excited and lit up about?
Like what is getting you up in the morning and being like, yes. Let's go. I got things to do. And if that's not your vibe, you can translate that to your vibe.
Yeah. I just I don't like being bored ever. I'm never ever just sitting and it's oh, I need something to do.
It's I get my sleep, I get up and I look at my every day I'm constantly adding things to my to-do list. And then the night before I put, I slot it into places on my calendars. I know it's gonna take me this amount of time to do this, and I, this is when I'm gonna get it done, blah, blah, blah.
So that's how I get my day set every day and I know what I have to do, and I get so much enjoyment for hitting mark complete when I'm done with the task. So I just love being active and. I feel like every podcast that I do brings some type of different joy to everyone, every like script that I'm writing has some type of underlying meaning to life in it.
So every, I just feel like I'm incorporating all my beliefs into what I do. So it never really feels like work.
We ask everyone on the podcast where they put themselves in the Powerful Lady Scale. Okay. Zero is average everyday human. 10 is the most powerful lady you can imagine. Where would you rank yourself today and where do you think you rank yourself on average?
Okay. Today I would put myself. At a zero, just because I'm still in my pajamas. And we're like Skyping, actually, no. This is very, what we're doing right now is, I think it's above average, so I'm gonna put it at a four.
All right. Then when I put everything that I'm doing, like encompassing my whole week for this week, I'd put it at a six. Then ten's Oprah. I'm not there yet, but I will be.
Yeah, I like that. Yeah. But I will be, I love it. Is there anything that we haven't touched on that want everyone listening to know about you or, advice for them or anything else you wanna speak to before we wrap up today?
I think the biggest thing is just like to be yourself. And that took me a long time to realize that I could just be like. Goofy and fun and be able to share who my true self was without like I wouldn't say dumbing myself down, but just not fully presenting who I was. I think just 'cause I, I grew up always moving around and so I had to adjust to the people there because I thought I needed to fit into who who I thought I saw the cool quote unquote cool people were.
And then once I really became myself, which I don't think it happened until I was maybe like 24, 25 that's when I really enjoyed life and not enjoyed it as a version of myself that I thought I needed to be.
Very powerful. Yeah. Thank you so much to being a Yes to the Powerful Ladies Podcast.
Thank you for sharing. Thank you for having me on. Of course. Thank you for sharing your very inspiring story, and I can't wait to support you and cheer for you as you become Oprah.
Thank you, and I really enjoy what you're doing. This is amazing and phenomenal, so kudos to you. Thank you so much.
I think Melisa just broke the standard on what it means to be a powerful lady. How does she get it all done? I know she told us, and I'm still amazed. Not only is she a total boss, she's out there making a difference with the causes and the communities and the people that matter to her. Maybe all fine.
More of the Melisa in each of us to support, connect and follow Melisa. You can find her on Instagram and Twitter at She is Not Melisa. And of course, we have links to all of her podcasts, all of her shows, everything available on Amazon and elsewhere. Even her episode that she recorded with Chelsea Handler.
It's all available in this episode. Show notes@thepowerfulladies.com slash podcast. I hope you've enjoyed this new episode of The Powerful Ladies Podcast. If you're a yes to powerful ladies and want to support us, you can subscribe to this podcast anywhere you listen to podcasts. Make sure to give us a five star rating and leave a powerful review on Apple Podcasts.
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I'd like to thank our producer and audio engineer Jordan Duffy. Without her, this wouldn't be possible. You can follow her on Instagram at Jordan K. Duffy. Thank you all so much for listening. We'll be back next week with a brand new episode. Until then, I hope we're taking on being powerful in your life.
Go be awesome and up to something you love. This episode of The Powerful Ladies is Made Possible by our Patreon subscribers. Did you know that for as little as $1 a month, you can support this podcast? You can send us love, tell us that you want more. You can support all of our events and all that we're doing in the world to fulfill on our full circle of empowerment.
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Instagram: @sheisnotmelissa
Twitter: @sheisnotmelissa
Created and hosted by Kara Duffy
Audio Engineering & Editing by Jordan Duffy
Production by Amanda Kass
Graphic design by Anna Olinova
Music by Joakim Karud
