Episode 113: Teaching Kids The Mental Game | Connie Clotworthy | Founder of Worthy Beyond Purpose
Connie Clotworthy is the founder of Worthy Beyond Purpose, a non-profit program that teaches kids how to win the mental game in sports and in life. After years in golf instruction, she saw that physical skills were only part of the equation. Confidence, mindset, and self-awareness mattered just as much. Today, she works with young athletes to help them build resilience, handle pressure, and see their worth beyond the scoreboard. Connie shares how her own experiences in sports shaped her approach, the tools she uses to help kids reframe challenges, and why mental performance training should be part of every athletic program. She explains how these skills not only improve performance but also prepare kids to thrive in school, relationships, and future careers. Her work proves that the most powerful victories happen long before game day.
“Find your worth beyond the doing. You don’t always have to be doing. Appreciate what you already have. There’s so much worthy there.”
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Follow along using the Transcript
Chapters:
00:00 Meet Connie Clotworthy, Founder of Worthy Beyond Purpose
04:15 From Golf Instruction to Mindset Coaching
07:50 Why Physical Skills Aren’t Enough for Success
11:20 Teaching Kids to See Their Worth Beyond Results
15:00 Mental Game Strategies for Young Athletes
19:00 Helping Kids Reframe Mistakes and Failures
23:30 Building Confidence That Lasts Off the Field
27:40 The Role of Parents and Coaches in Mental Training
32:10 How Mindset Skills Transfer to School and Life
36:40 Creating a Culture That Supports Mental Wellness
40:00 Why Mental Performance Should Start Early
44:30 Stories of Transformation from the Field
48:15 Advice for Parents Raising Young Athletes
She is the most wildest, craziest kid of the bunch. She's amazing. And she's like, what are you doing, meditating? And I said, yes, I am. And she said, I wanna join you. And I said, sure. And she sits down and closes her eyes, and then she opens one eye and she says, well. Tell me what to do, and I was like, okay,
that's Connie Cult worthy, and this is The Powerful Ladies Podcast.
Hey guys, I'm your host, Kara Duffy. People often come to me asking how they can find their purpose. How can they find the thing they're supposed to be doing in this world that will allow them to jump out of bed every morning, excited and feel like they're making a difference in the world that they're meant to be making.
Connie Cole, worthy. Today's guest has found her purpose and it came to her in the most unexpected way. Today, she's a CEO and founder of Worthy Beyond Purpose, a nonprofit teaching children around the world how to meditate. We discuss how she never expected this to be her life, the number of profound experiences she's had as a result of following this calling and why she's committed to changing the world.
With kids and for kids, you are totally going to love this episode. Heads Up, she's hosting a fundraiser on May 1st for adults to have fun and learn to meditate. There are more details about that in this episode. Do you crave doing work that aligns with your purpose, that allows you to make a living and maybe even more money than you've ever had by doing something that you love that really is aligned with what your calling is meant to be?
It's totally possible, in fact. That's what I teach and coach my clients and powerful youth Thrive members every day. They are leaning into what matters to them. They're creating lives and businesses of their own design and producing next level results. I'm here to help Youth Thrive. Book an introductory call with me@karaduffy.com or check out my powerful ladies Thrive membership@thepowerfulladies.com.
Well welcome to the Powerful Ladies Podcast. Thank you. Thanks for having me. My pleasure. Um, you were of course recommended by Anna on our team who I adore. Uh, so please tell everyone who you are, what you're up to, and why she recommended you for the Powerful Ladies Podcast.
All right, great. Um, so my name is Connie.
I am the founder and CEO of a nonprofit called Worthy Beyond Purpose. And what we do is we teach mindfulness and meditation to children. So that's really the, the gist of it. Um, it's been absolutely incredible, um, especially through COVID and especially through these times that we got to go through all of this with kids.
You know, we got to talk about our feelings and our emotions with the kids. So it's been absolutely incredible.
And, and there's been such a rise, right? In needing mental health, needing tools to regulate ourselves and to stay calm and connected. So what a gift that you've been able to give that to people in this past year.
I'm sure there's a lot of adults I was thinking right now who are jealous, who want those services to, um mm-hmm. What made you start this, uh, nonprofit and why focus on kids in particular?
Yeah. So here we go. This is the journey. Uh, first of all, this was not my plan. You know, this was not my mm-hmm. Um, dream grow growing up, you know, to do this work.
And, um, what my story is, is, um, I got sober about five years ago. I started in sobriety about five years ago. Prior to that, I have been in the bar business for 25 years. So being a bartender, being a server, being all aspects of the bar, that was kind of my plan. I was gonna open bars all over the country and live on the beach and do this glamorous bar lifestyle.
And, um, you know, my body and my mentality had other plans. Everything started to break down and, um, so I found a 12 step program and I got sober. So within this 12 step program, um, my, in my head, I was like, everything's over. Like, the party's over. What am I gonna do? The only thing I know how to do is bartend.
The only thing I know how to do, mm-hmm. Is be in this scene, be in this world. How am I going to live the rest of my life? And throughout the 12 steps that I was doing, I was introduced to meditation. And I had meditated for years before, and what I'd realized in breaking down meditation, what meditation used to look like for me was sitting down for 10 minutes and thinking about myself.
You know, like, where do I have to go? Who do I have to call? What's for lunch? You know, like making my to-do list. And then I would be like, meditation, check, you know, check it off the list for the day. So, uh, in my recovery, I was taught how to sit in meditation and just listen. And it started with one minute.
And I was like, one minute, this is gonna be a piece of cake. And what I realized, even setting my timer for one minute, is my brain would take off. You know, I'd sit down, set it for one minute, and think to myself, breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. What am I gonna have for lunch today? What am I gonna do after here?
You know? And then the timer would go off and I'd be like, damn, I am not, I can't even do a minute. So I'd start over and start over and start over. So in the process of this, once I finally got my minute down, it went, you know, a little bit longer and a little bit longer. And why this is such an integral part of my story is because what started to happen is I started to listen.
Just breathe and listen and what? It's prayer and meditation for me. And I prayed my whole life like, God, please keep me outta jail. God, please don't let me get pregnant. God, who is this next to me? You know, that was my life. And it turned into, uh, this prayer of, um, God, show me what to do. Show me what's next.
Thy will not mind be done. And in saying that prayer every morning, it took me out of my head and into my heart. Then into meditation. So then I got to listen. And when I started to listen, it gave my higher power a chance to come in and guide me, you know? And it's crazy. If you would've told me five years ago, I'm gonna sit on a podcast and talk about God and meditation and being led, I would've told you you were absolutely crazy.
But this is my life today, and this is where the journey began. So. In just the listening. I started to, my whole life started to change. That's where I found my freedom. That's where, you know, all the things that were wrong on the inside growing up, not being enough, not being secure, not being all of these things that I wasn't reaching for outside substance, outside anything to fix how I was feeling inside.
That was my whole life. Once I started to listen and breathe, I started to learn how to feel. Learn that emotions change and learn how to just be with what is and it's gonna pass, you know, you're gonna get through it. So in that, my whole life started to change and I was like, what do I do with this? You know, like, what do I do with this knowledge?
I can't believe you hear it your whole life. Everything you need is within you, right? Like that's what you hear your whole life and. I didn't understand it until I started to feel it and be it and realize everything is within. So that was the beginning. I love,
oh, sorry. I, I love that you said that it's, so many people think that we need more or need something else or need busier.
Like there's just this, we have to add something on component and part of the Powerful Ladies Foundation is very similar of like you already have it within you. What, what needs to like, we need to break it free and we don't need to like go find it.
Yes. Well, the name worthy Beyond purpose means finding your worth.
Beyond the always doing. You don't have to always be doing. You don't have to always go get the next best thing. Sometimes you just are still and breathe and appreciate what you already have. That's your worth. That's your worthy. Beyond the per, beyond the doing. There's so much worthy there. So I'm glad that you brought that up.
So just from there, what happened is, um, I, again, like my whole, my whole life started to change. I didn't know what to do with this knowledge of meditation. It was such a, a baffling, uh, game changer for me. My brother, uh, was going to Jamaica on, uh, his honeymoon, and he ended up stumbling across this kid's camp.
And he, he volunteered at this kid's camp and he came back and he was a changed man. And I was like, what is this that happened to you on your honeymoon? And he ended up spending like 90% of his honeymoon at this, these, with these kids rearranging his whole, his whole trip to spend time with these kids. So the next year had come along and he was like, I want, I want you to come with me.
And, you know, I was, I was like, I, I'm brand new sober, you know, I was under a year sober and just kind of getting into meditation and everything in my head is like, don't go but something in my body. You know, the, the, the, the, the listening was like, go. Mm-hmm. So I go and I'm, you know, volunteering at this kid's camp, which was amazing.
And, uh, one afternoon they're all having lunch. There was about 30 kids in the camp at the time. They're all having lunch. And I go into the playground and I'm doing my meditation. And this little 8-year-old girl comes running up to me, and her name is Paris Francis. She's the most wildest, craziest kid of the bunch.
She's amazing. And she's like, what are you doing, meditating? And I said, yes, I am. And she said, I wanna join you. And I said, sure. And she sits down and puts her hands up like she knows what she's doing and closes her eyes. And then she opens one eye and she says, well, tell me what to do. I was like, okay. So I do a little five minute guiding and I watched this transformation happen.
I watched this like crazy wild kid come over and with just a few minutes I watched this piece. Come over her. And when, when I brought her out of it, I wa she was like, whoa, you know? And she was like, I want, I want more of that. And it was, you know, if it wasn't that moment, that kid, that day that everything like that was the moment I said, okay, it's meditation and it's kids.
It is where it starts. What is
while that one she came to you. Two, it had to be that kid. Right? It had to be the one who was the most opposite, you would think would be interested in meditation and yeah, I, there's so many things there. She knew what she needed. So she came to you. Mm-hmm. And you didn't even know that she was what you needed next.
Absolutely. It gives me goosebumps thinking about that.
Right. And, and again, like this wasn't my plan. You know, like this was something that was just put in front of me and being open to it and receiving and, and doing the next indicated action. So in that moment, and, and in Jamaica at the time, um, I wasn't even allowed to say the word meditation because they're very, uh, religious.
Um, so when I had talked to the camp counselor about leading meditation, she was like, let's just call it quiet time. Let's not, you know, don't use the word meditation. This isn't very re received well, but I want these kids to have this. So this is how it started there. We were calling it quiet time and watching the whole place change.
It was unbelievable. And so then I came back home back to California, which is where I live. And so now I know it's meditation and I know it's children and what do I do with this? I have no idea what I'm gonna do with this. And it was a time in our world where there was school shooting after school shooting, after school shooting.
And this is, uh, 2018 where there was the Stoneman Douglas shooting, uh, on Valentine's Day. And um, you know, it really hit me hard in the heart and our. Leader at the time says, let's arm our teachers. That's the solution to gun violence. Let's arm our teachers. And the shooter in that, in that situation was a former student who said that shooting guns was his form of therapy.
And it all just kind of hit me at one time. And I made a big Facebook post and I said, how about we don't arm our teachers? How about we arm our kids with the tools they need to deal with their emotions? In making this post, and I said, who's with me? Let's, let's start something here. And um, I was actually a part of, uh, landmark at the time.
Mm-hmm. I think you might be familiar with Landmark. Yeah. And I was in the self-expression leadership program. I was in the final stages of creating this
program ever. Yes.
Yeah, absolutely. Totally. You know, I say, um, my, my AA is, AA is what got me sober. Landmark is what taught me how to live. You know, 'cause in the sobriety, I'm like, now what?
And Landmark showed me now what? So in that I created, you know, worthy Beyond Purpose was created. And you know, in, in that post, I had a couple people write me back and they were like, we're on board. We're on board. We wanna do this. So here I am, I'm still working full-time in a restaurant, you know, um, 40 plus hours.
And then on, on the side, I'm, I'm building Worthy Beyond Purpose. And what this looks like is going into Boys and Girls Club, going into YMCA, going into a place called Home, going into anywhere that would take us. It was all volunteer basis. You know, we were just going in and trying to create what we had learned, what worked for us, and trying to bring it into kids and see, you know, what worked, what didn't work.
And we did that for a year and we were all over the place in that year, you know, because especially after all the gun shootings that were happening, a lot of places were like, yes, please come. And it was volunteer. So, you know, so that's how, that's how it cr that's how it started. That was the creation of it.
Um, again, that was 2018. Then, uh, 2019 we started to get into schools. You know, we finally got some schools that were like, please come and do this here. And we started to build that. And, um, it was just, it's so beautiful to be able, I didn't have these tools growing up, you know, like I said, I was anything on the outside to fix the inside and to be able to teach kids how to breathe through it and how to feel and how to communicate.
And how to do it together. Like you're not the only one feeling this, we're all feeling this. So right when we started to, um, right when school started to really embrace us is when COVID hit, you know, in March and you know, then it all shuts down. And luckily we, me and my partner at the time, Jasmine, we jumped online immediately.
We were definitely online before schools were online, you know, and because I was already working in a few schools, they had my information. So, um, we did two classes a day immediately, and the classes were full, full with kids from all over the country. You know, were finding out and coming, and again, we got to all together talk about, we, we, I had six year olds, seven year olds coming in saying, I'm, I'm having panic attacks.
Um, so scared and fear and I'm like, what? 6-year-old is saying panic attacks. Like this is crazy. For them to come in and be like, I don't know. Why, why am I not in school? Why are we wearing masks? Why can't I leave the house? You know, and the news is on at their house, and they're just seeing tear and fear.
And to be able to be together and go through it together and talk about it and teach them different breathing techniques and different activities and exercises, and do different, um, ways to communicate and to do it together. Within like three, four weeks. I had a, I had a 7-year-old ask me, she was the one that came in with a panic attack after about a couple weeks.
She said, how do I teach this to my brother? How do I show this to my mom? And it was like, how do I hold space for my family? And it was that moment, that second where I was saying, there's no going back to the restaurant. You know, because there was that fear of how am I gonna make money? How am I gonna make it work?
Like the restaurant always provided the money. And the, the nonprofit was just what it says, nonprofit. There was a lot of volunteer work. We were just learning, you know, there was no money coming in. So that was my balance, and it was that moment that I realized there's no going back. There's only forward from this point on and this my work and this is what needs to happen and this is what I'm here to do.
So, yeah, that was another amazing transformative moment.
It just, I can't imagine the, how it felt in the real life moment when that 7-year-old says, how do I teach this to somebody else? Like, she knows not only what it's done for her, but that she knows that people in her life need it and she's seven.
Mm-hmm. Uh, you must have felt equal. I would Ima, I think I would've felt equal. Like excitement and wonder and probably a little bit of overwhelm. 'cause you go, it's, the need is so big. How do we help as many people as possible as fast as possible?
Absolutely. I, I, I cried in that moment, for sure. Mm-hmm. And just to backtrack, what, what, so what has happened in Jamaica since I started to go there five years ago?
Uh, we had gone back every year except for, you know, last, last year because of COVID, and it's gone from, we're not allowed to say the word meditation to last year. I got asked to stay an extra week on them to teach the adults because after three years of them watching these, the littles and how it's transforming them, now the adults are like, I wanna learn.
Show me. So talk about the change that this can make in the world. It could change a whole community, you know.
Absolutely. Absolutely. Um, which reminds me that I have to connect you when we're off this, um, recording with my friends at Psychotherapeutic. Yoga. Yoga zma. 'cause they're literally connecting psychology, neurobiology and all the elements of yoga, including meditation together.
And they're on a similar path. So you guys have to connect so you can all change the world together, right? Yeah. Building that team. Awesome. Mm-hmm.
That's our motto is transforming the world. One mindful kid at a time.
Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Right. It's, you know, people, people come to me often and they're like, either I don't know what my purpose is, or I know that I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
How do I find it? And your story's a great example of how so often it's by saying Yes. To something that seems so not what you're supposed to be doing. Like even just going to him on that first trip, right? Mm-hmm. It all started by being a yes to your brother 'cause you saw something change in him. And we, we don't, we don't give credit to those small opportunities or moments of being curious or having a opportunity to discover something and how that could be what we've been looking for this whole time.
And you just have to keep going with it. Right? Like the same principles that you're teaching in meditation, listening to yourself and listening to what keeps showing up. Like after a while, you know, so many entrepreneurs say this on the show as well. Like, you just feel it poking you to the point where it's like shaking you like no, do not do anything else.
Mm-hmm. Um, you know, what was, when you were first making these pivots and these shifts, and this was opening up for you? Was it, was it an easy, of course, I should do this, or was there a lot of tug of war of, is this for me? Is it not for me? Maybe, maybe I'm making it more that it's meant to be like, what was that initial, uh, bridge experience like?
I definitely knew I had to do this, and I definitely knew the impact of this work, but it was the fear that held me back from how, how am I gonna make a living, right? Like, I'll never make a living doing this. Because the thing with meditation is you don't need to go buy something. You don't need to go buy the next gadget.
You don't need to go do, you know, it's literally, you just be. I was like in my head, you know, my story is I'm, I'm never gonna be able to sell this, you know, who would buy this? And um, so again, it was in the deep listening where I just kept hearing the message of, you know, just keep showing up and doing the work, keep showing up and doing the work.
And it's been my experience. It does not look anything like I thought it was gonna look when I started this, right When COVID hit. I'm sure everybody's life looks different than what they thought. But, uh, I just keep showing up and, and doing the work. And it's literally been a life beyond my wildest dreams.
The fact that this is what I get to do, this is who I get to be today. And again, like five years ago, I was on a path of destruction and, and death, and I was just like me, you know, like I didn't even. I had no fears of that, you know, and then in the sobriety they, they just call it like peeling back the onion and just like realizing who I actually am and what my actual purpose is and, you know, uh.
Last year, or not last year, COVID is like a year that's just disappeared. So the year before that, 2018 I guess it would be, or no, 2019, uh, I was asked to go on a meditation retreat in Tanzania. And again, I'm, you know, meditating on and everything in my head is like. No, you, you can't afford it. You can't go like, this isn't, you don't do these things, you know?
And in sitting in meditation it was very clear. Go, go. Like, the message was like, no, you, you go. And so what happens here is, you know, it was a two week trip in Tanzania and Africa, and, uh, one day I am sitting there, uh, I'm talking to a woman who, her son is one of the ones that led the retreat. And she lives there and I'm telling her what we do and what we're about.
And she says, will you teach the third grade in a school here? Uh, in, in, in Canoa Bagga, Moyo? And I'm like, I mean, they all speak Sw Swahili. And I'm like, I don't, I don't know if I can do that. And she's like, my son Will, will be the interpreter. And I was like, yes. And so, uh, we went and I had my, my, another person of worthy was with me, Jessica Brown.
And we went into this school and we ended up teaching 150 kids. Some breath work, some yoga moves, how to breathe through feelings with an interpreter. And it's like, how does that happen? You know? How am I in Tanzania teaching 150 third graders while I'm on this retreat? Like, that was not my plan. You know?
That was not my plan. And another thing that happened in Tanzania was we were all on safari. As you are, right? Like what? We're on safari. And, um, my, a a a friend of mine w uh, asked me if I'd be interested in taking Polyon or um, uh, San Pedro. And San Pedro is a plant medicine and uh, she's explaining to me, you know, it's not a drug, it's a plant medicine, it's a spiritual thing.
It'll help you get closer to God. And I was like, you know, let me, let me meditate on it. I'll let you know tomorrow. And, uh, zebras are my, are my spirit animal. So while we're on, uh. Safari. I say, you know, all I wanna do is, is, is meditate with zebras. I just wanna meditate with zebras. And they're like, you are, there's zebras out there.
And I'm like, that's not good enough. You know, like, I wanna actually meditate with some zebras. So anyways, I, I go to bed that night and I'm doing my prayer and I'm like, Hey God. Um, San Pedro's here. It's not a drug, it's a plant medicine. I'm bartering with God, right? Uh, I just wanna get closer to you. I just wanna get more spiritual.
Um, let me know what what you think and if it's not too much to ask. I wanna meditate with some zebra and I go to sleep and I wake up a couple hours later and my friend that I'm camping with at the time, I hear her rummaging around in the tent. We're glamping, we're an actual tent in the Serengeti. Like what?
Amazing. Yeah. And she's moving around and she's like, and I'm like, what are you doing? And she says, shh, listen. And I listen and there's all of this farting going on outside of our tents. I was like, what? And then she goes to unzip it, and we were supposed to be locked in every night they come around and lock you in.
But I came in a little bit later because I was with our guide, so I, we didn't get locked in. And she goes to unzip it and she's like, why are we not locked in? And I was like, because I came in a little later and she peeks her head out. She comes back in and she's like, did you call them? And I said, did I call who?
And she's like, did you call them? And I was like, the zebra. She was like the zebra, I'm getting chills right now. And I was like, me do I, I guess I did call them and she's like, we're surrounded by zebra. So I go out and I'm like, I have to go out there. And she's like, you can't go out there. And I'm like, I called them, you know, I have to go out there.
So I take my phone and I go out and we have this little porch and I'm sitting on it and I'm taking pictures 'cause no one's gonna believe this and I'm not using the flash because I don't wanna scare them. I put my phone down and I just start meditating with them. I close my eyes, I'm gonna get emotional, and I just, the feeling is like I, I'm, I'm breathing with these zebra, there's probably like 15 in my view, and there's a mama and a baby right in front of me, and I'm just breathing with them and everything in my body is pulsating.
And I start bawling and then all of a sudden there's this message like, there's a person right behind me and it says. You'll never have to put anything in your body to get more close to me. You to get more spiritual. You are on a meditation retreat in the Serengeti right now. I will give you everything you want.
Keep walking this path with me. Um, stop asking for more, you know, also, you know, like, stop asking for more. I'll give you everything you want. This is, this is where you are. Just like bawling and being like, holy shit, right? Like, everything is in me, everything is within me. There's nothing else. There's nothing else for me to get, for me to try to get, and that, that message of you'll never have to put anything in your body again.
You know, like, you, you, I'll give you everything.
Well, there's so many beautiful messages and so many different levels in that one experience. So many. How did it change your view of your life? Because to me, that's not a. One degree shift, that's like a 25%, that's 90 degree. It's a, it's a 180, like mm-hmm. You can't have an experience like that.
And go back to, to, to whatever you thought before.
Yeah. That put me in a state of trust. And again, um, just saying yes and connecting to, to my higher power and getting in this place of. Just deep listening and deep feeling and, and the intuition that we have in, in us, you know, and just, um, trusting in that and just taking the next step, just going forward.
So if we circle back, you, you had this nonprofit, you started it based on starting to trust yourself and what you were getting through meditation and being yes to what was showing up in your path. We talked about how in. Jamaica, they were kind of afraid of the word meditation because it seemed contradictory to their religious beliefs.
And you talked about how you've always been praying your whole life. How has meditation been complimentary to your spiritual and religious views and how has it shifted what those views were?
So again, meditation used to be, uh, me thinking about myself. Prayer used to be me thinking about myself, right?
And asking for what, what can you do for me? Can you do this for me? Can you fix this for me? And, uh, what happened when prayer turned into, how can, can you show me what to do? Can you show me how to be of best service? Can you guide me the way? And then meditation turned into listening. So prayer is asking, and meditation is listening.
Once I started to listen, I like to say, what kind of a relationship is it? If somebody's always talking and never listening, it's not a good relationship. So that's what I had before with God. You know, the God I had growing up was a God, a fearing God. Like a god, like looking down, pointing his finger at me like, don't do this, don't do that.
And my, that, my concept of God now, which is a higher power, I do still use the word God, but it's source energy, universal, all those things is my best friend is, uh, an entity, a power and energy that has my best interest in mind and just as long as I can do the work. All these beautiful things will, will be shown to me.
So it's a completely different relationship. It's a completely different way to live of like, oh, am I gonna get in trouble? You know? And when I was that defiant person before too, I was always in trouble. And it's now turned into like, how can I serve? How can I be of best service? And what that ha What happens in that is this.
Beautiful life. You know, like I said in the beginning, none of this was my plan. None of this was who I wanted to be in the world, or it could, I couldn't even have fathomed this, you know? So this is just, um, finding your authentic self, finding your intuition and your power and, and your stillness, and your connection to w why it is you're actually on this planet.
Then in that, especially in that last message with the Zebra story was really shown to me, trust. Just trust, you know? Because my best thinking will not get me there. My best thinking will not, and the higher power universal plan is much bigger than what I could even imagine. So, and that's, you know, when, when taking it back to, to this girl who said, you know, came in with the panic attacks and then trans transitioned into how do I hold space for my family to have that thought of there is no going back.
There's only forward now that life was there and now this life is here. So where we are with the nonprofit today is, um, you know, we, we kind of got pushed back to where we were. Before we got in schools, it was hard to get into schools. It's hard to get funding, it's hard to get schools to wanna pay for it, you know, and we, we were all volunteer for so long and we just started to get a little bit of payment.
And then with COVI, we got taken out and then we, you know, we still did our two classes a day. Um, since COVID, we still do 'em now. Uh, what's transformed a little bit is we've actually implemented creative arts into our program as well. It used to just be mindfulness and meditation. And why we've transformed into some creative arts too, is because now we teach kids how to take mindfulness into their everyday lives.
It's not just a 30 minute class once a week. So like in art class, they start with a visualization. They visualize where they are, what they see, what they're gonna draw, and then they get to draw it. And then they do a meditation at the end. In the performance arts class, they get to really, uh, bond with each other and really get out of their comfort zone.
Learn how to communicate how they're feeling and like act it out and do these things. So it's like bringing it into their everyday life as opposed to just doing this 30 minute class. And that's been a beautiful shift. That wasn't ever gonna be what we were about, but what's come from that has just been incredible.
You know, teaching kids how to do that. Uh, so, so now we're kind of back to now that schools are reopening here, it's kind of right back to that struggle of trying to get in because so many schools are like, we're just trying to get our curriculum in now, right? Like, we're backtracked so much that we have to, and, and the school days only this long, that there's no time for it.
So that's the struggle again, is like there's no time not for it. Like this is the time for it. You have to put this in your day. So that's kind of where, where we are right now is back, back to that point, which I, I know we'll get through it especially next year when we're open full time. But yeah, it's just kind of an an, an ever going, an ever moving wheel.
Well, you're talking to the right person. 'cause before I was doing business coaching for profit, um, groups, I did nonprofit coaching because there's nothing more frustrating to me than. Amazing people with great ideas and like helping, like not having the plan of like, how do we make this sustainable? How do we let everybody win?
And there's so much, you know, I, I just, I did a course recently about even just how yoga teachers approach making money. They're like, no, we're serving. And I'm like, so what? Like you should be paid for what you're contributing to the world, right? So how do we even change that, that money story, that money conversation around like how do we have abundance flowing to what you're doing?
Because what you're doing is changing the world. What, like everyone should want to participate in this And um, it may like my head's running in a mild million different directions of. What, what funding could look like for you guys, because there's so many possibilities. So many, and there's, there's just, yeah.
You, you're, you're on an empire, right? It's like the, the iceberg. Like you're on the tip of your empire and there's so much within it. Um, so I'm very excited to see where you guys take this. Yeah. I'm excited to have more conversation with you. Yes, please. Um, so, you know. You're on a podcast right now called Powerful Ladies, and clearly you've stepped into your power with this new life and this new business and all of this new world that you've created for yourself.
You know, um, what do, do the words powerful and ladies mean to you separately and mean together? And has that definition changed from your old life to this new life that you have?
Yeah, so powerful can look like many things for me. Um, again, it's anybody who can find their authentic self and allow yourself to be that because, and this is something I really teach kids, especially young, young women, thank God we're not like everybody else.
Like, thank God we have something unique about us. Thank God that we, we have this, this thing about us, you know? And that's powerful. When, when, when you learn how to step away from what you are taught or what society, the box that you're supposed to fit into, you know? Um, and, and you get to just really be and expand on, on who you are.
Um, powerful ladies for me was, you know, it used to be like famous people, you know, whoever's like more in the spotlight and whoever's got the nice house and the nice family and the nice car and the money, and that was having made it, you know, for, for, for me back in the day. Now the women I look up to are, are the women I know who.
Again, I found their authentic self and stepped into their power and their creating, you know, their creating. And then in their creation and my creation, then we get to co-create. And it's something that it's heart work, you know? It's just opening your heart and living that way. So, like, um, a powerful lady for me today, um, McCall or um, a Amanda Gordon, you know, at the, at the inauguration?
Mm-hmm. Like that was just. A woman being exactly who she is and shining in this bright beau beautiful light and really showing us what a powerful woman looks like. Um, it was absolutely incredible. I think that might have answered your questions. Am I missing a piece of it?
No, that's perfect. That's perfect.
Um, you know, when you look at the journey that you've been on. Who have been the people who have been inspiring and supporting you along the way that, you know, I know for me it's, I need the ongoing inspiration and the support, and I need a team. Mm-hmm. In order to meet, for me to take on what's next and the next big thing.
So who has been your team? Either people that you know, or people that you're inspired by?
So in the beginning of the run, um, it was my landmark coach and mm-hmm. Um, when, when I started again, it's like I had no idea what this was gonna look like and, and what I wanted to do, and it was that the help of a coach pushing me forward and I was doing all of these free events and teaching all of these kids, but, you know, again, like wasn't making any traction, wasn't getting any feedback, or callback wasn't getting paid.
And he made a comment to me and he said, uh, you may have already. Stopped at the next school shooter. That's the thing with your work, you don't know, because it's preventative. We do preventative work instead of, you know, trying to fix the mess later. We try to teach the tools before the, before the, uh, meltdown.
So, um, that was huge for me. You know, that was huge for me to, to know that keep, keep doing the work. You know, maybe the payoff isn't to see, to see it in the end. It, it's what you could have prevented or what you did prevent. So he was a huge, um, powerful source in the beginning when we started, there was four of us.
Like I said, I made that post and, um, there was four of us and we all met every week and we just kept bringing in all of our bits and pieces and knowledge and seeing, and we got to create a curriculum together. And in building that, that was really powerful. And then, uh, I now have a board and we meet four times a year.
And it's connecting with them and hearing, you know, what they say and. What works for them and, you know, the, the, the people that they have in, in their corners. So I have never met anybody who is against this. You know, everybody is like, wow, I want, I want to be a part of this. Let me know how I can help. So that's always really positive.
We also have four fundraisers a year, and uh, they're online now and what they are is they're like adult self-care days where it starts with 40 minutes of dance, like really get in your body dance, and then it turns into a meditation, and then it's a yoga nidra, which is a meditation done lying down.
Total journey within. It's almost like you're tripping, but completely sober. Um, to watch that build, especially online, to watch it build to the point of watching it heal the adults and creating this community for adults and watching the growth and the beauty in that is always really inspiring to know that this.
This is needed everywhere. Like you said in the beginning, I bet there's some, some adults that are jealous. Again, I had none of this, none of these tools growing up. So to be able to provide a service like this is just, you know, that, that's inspiring in itself. Mm-hmm.
In addition to your own meditation practice, what do you do in your daily, weekly life to keep yourself at your best?
Are there books? Are there podcasts? Like what are your habits
for success? Um, well first of all, I am in a 12 step program and I'm very active, and that is a huge community, and that is a huge supportive community. So, um, that, that definitely keeps me grounded and, and flowing in the right direction and connected.
So what my day normally looks like is I start with my meditation in the morning. And it's just really deep breathing. And, and, and it'll get to, um, good morning, God, I am here. Good morning, God, I am here. And in that is this like connection. And then can you show me what to do? You know? And in that is, is is the listening and the guidance.
Um, other than that, I do, I do breath work and I do yoga, and I do, you know, all of the things that we do, I do Qigong, I do shaking, and I get to do this with the kids. On a daily basis. Um, a favorite book of mine is Untethered Soul because it really, um, teaches you about the mind and about, they call it the roommate in the head, you know, that's always talking.
Um, so, so, so that's amazing. Um, there's a new book right now. It's not new, it's new to me. It's called The Boy the Mole, the Fox and the Horse. Have you heard this book?
No,
no. It sounds really interesting. It's a must. It's a must. You can read it in like 20 minutes. It's just absolutely beautiful. It's a book on friendship and about trusting and in the universe and all that.
So that's definitely one of my favorite books. So I, I, I say, you know, I have to do all the things, you know? Mm-hmm. Um, there's sometimes where I'm like, I have to do all of these things just to. Remain level, you know, because my brain is not my best friend, you know, and it's just like, it, I, it, it wants to tell me things that just aren't true.
So I have to keep doing the breath work, the yoga, the meditation, the sound baths, the healing, the deep work, the conversations. Like I have to do all of those things, but I change it to, I get to do all of those things. I get to do all of those things so I can become this light and, and teach it to others and spread this.
I've had a conversation with, um, other landmark graduates about who, who is the most enrolling. And often, you know, we always come back to like, what's the story and how do you tell your story, right? So people, it lands for other people. And I think when you have a story where there's such a transitionary arc, it makes it so powerful.
And I, and there's a lot of people who. When I've worked with them as a coach, they don't wanna speak about what they would consider dark moments in their life because they think it's a, a, a, a mark against them. And my perspective is like, no, like whatever you've experienced or overcome, the good, the bad, the we're not sure.
Maybe this is just boring and not a big deal. Like all those things makes such a difference and an impact in the story that you tell and letting it be heard by the people who need to hear it the most. How do you think your transition has, or not your transition, but like your awakening to this new life that you have.
Like how does having the life before and the life now in that contrast allow you to, how does that empower you and allow your story to land with more people? So
the darkest, dark you're in can be the lightest light you get to shine and you know, when I, when I first started getting sober, I was in a place of.
I was definitely not in a good place, you know, and just not caring and just, um, being like an empty shell of a person. And there's so many people who know me today who are like, you are just shiny and bright and you are the sunlight of the spirit. And how do you get, you know, like, would you meditate all day?
And it's because I've come from the dark place, the darkest of the dark. Mm-hmm. And just to touch a little bit about what that was for me, my last year of drinking. Was A-D-U-I-I left work. I uh, I left work. I got A-D-U-I-I blew a 0.24. That's just the way I worked. A 0.24, you should be dead, you know?
Mm-hmm. I had the, the cop gave me three breathalyzers and he couldn't believe it. And I told him if he took me to jail, he didn't respect my job. 'cause I'm a bartender and he's like, I don't, if I don't take you to jail, you don't respect my job. And then, uh, like a week after that, I totaled my car. And that's just because it was raining.
It had nothing to do with the fact I was drinking. Two weeks after that, I caught myself on fire. I'm a fire dancer and um, I had been doing outside substance all day and decided to fire dance. Which in that case, before I even went to the emergency room, I finished my outside substance I was doing, and uh, my roommate at the time was watching this go down and he's like, what are you doing?
Like, we have to get you into a hospital. But my head is like, you don't know the kind of pain I'm in. I need to do this first. I go to the hospital, it lands me in the burn unit for nine days. So you've had a little burn, and you know how that feels. This is a burning unit, nine days, but I'm gonna finish my partying before I go to the hospital, which in the burning at nine days, I have somebody sneak me in vodka because you don't know the kind of pain I'm in.
If you had my life, you would too. So all of these things happen and I'm like, why are all these terrible things happening to me? I'm a good person. Why me? Why me? Why me? And, um. All of that happening. And then I had to go, I was on a court card because of my DUI and I had to go to a meeting. And this is another one of those moments where I walk into this meeting.
I can barely put a sentence together at the time, my arm, I burned my arm is what it was. Um, my arm's all wrapped up and bandaged and I like crawl into this meeting. And it's happy, joyous, and free. Everybody's like laughing and having a good time. I'm like, fuck no, I don't want anything to do with that.
Like, that was so gross to me, you know? Mm-hmm. So I turned around and walked out and I was like, I'm never gonna do that. And as I'm walking out the door, this six foot seven tall dude comes walking in and he swoops me around and he goes, Connie, where are you going? And it was this dude I used to rage with, like hardcore rage with.
And I was like, what are you doing here? And he's like, I'm speaking. And I was like, you're speaking at this thing. And he is like, yeah, why don't you listen? So I was like, okay, this is gonna be hilarious. This dude is speaking, this is gonna be great. So I hung out in the back and I listened and I watched him share and have this light in his high eye and have this spark, and have this joy.
And I can't tell you one thing that he said, but what I remember is him being comfortable in his skin. I remember watching that and being like, Hmm, like what is that all about? You know? And then I got ready to sneak out and he called me out at the end of his share and he said, Hey, newcomer, wait for me. I wanna talk to you.
Which then gave everybody else a right in the room to come and talk to me. 'cause I'm the newcomer, you know? And again, at that point they're like, here's my number, let's get coffee, let's this, let's that. And I was like, fuck no. You know? Like I don't want anything to do with that. And that was the start of, of my sobriety.
It still took another two years from there because I was, um, I was in that state of. I knew I couldn't drink anymore, but sober wasn't gonna be it for me because you didn't have my life. If you lived the way I lived, you would too. You know? And getting through two years of doing the research, as they say, you know, maybe a little bit of this, maybe a little bit of that, maybe a little bit of this, what my last drink looked like.
Whereas I said, maybe just this half an Adderall, I'm just gonna take this half an Adderall. I was the designated driver for some girlfriends this day. And, um, it's a prescribed drug. It's not a drug, you know, it's prescribed. It's not prescribed to me, but it's prescribed. So I'm fine. And I woke up out of a blackout the next morning and I had to call my friends and be like, who drove?
And they were like, yo, you drove, because that's the kind of drinker I was. You wouldn't even know. And I needed to have that experience. And, uh, to realize once one thing comes in this body, all bets are off. Something happens in my brain where it's like, destruction, no fucks given, falls to the wall. Let's do this, you know, and just to like go through that.
So that was my, you know, and that was, that all happened within like three months. Lemme tell you, I had been drinking and using for 25 years and, um, it was really rough for a lot of those years. But again, like, if you had my life, you would too, you know, and to be in that place of, you know, um, victim. Victim.
Mm-hmm. You know, um, and, and a lot of this, I learned so much about this in Landmark. Um, if you know how to not allow what happened to you, control where you are today, and this was a huge process for me in some of the step work too, was a. I held this resentment because, um, you know, I was hurt as a kid and holding onto this.
And if you, if you did, if this happened to you, you would too. And getting to the point of what my part was, was forgiveness. And in forgiveness, you get to let that go. You get to let go of that story. You know, like, and the people are like, how could you ever forgive? It's no longer my life anymore that when I got to forgive, I got to let go of that controlling everything that happened in my life.
It is no longer you would too. Now it's like, that's no longer in this body, you know? Mm-hmm. I don't carry that. I'm chills. I don't carry that anymore. That's no longer, you know, you put that to rest. It's no longer happening. Why am I suffering? It's no longer happening. And to learn that lesson. So just to get back to, to the question, um, you have, for me, the deepest, darkest stuff that's happened to me in my life, I don't take, I wouldn't take any of it back.
I wouldn't take any of it back because that's where my learning, that's where my empathy comes from. That's from where my compassion comes from. That's how I'm able to talk to young kids about whatever it is they're going through and be with them and to teach them tools on how to get into your heart.
You know, and, and, and, and find your, your inner voice and find your connection. And it's not out there. It's nothing out there. It's gonna fix this hole in here. How to find that, that wholeness that's already within you and, um, within their lives, the change in the world, you know, how do they not teach this in schools?
Like, why is it, I dunno, calculus and by, you know, I understand everything they need to teach, but life, how about teaching some life,
you know? Yes. We're missing out on opportunities to, to really level up the next generation by not having this and the work that you're doing right now to fill in that gap.
Um, not only do we need to fill it in with the kids, but we really need to fill in, into whomever is like, please me, me, next. Right? Mm-hmm. I'm sure you have a line of adults being like. How do I get, how do I get into the kids program, please?
Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's what the, the, um, fundraisers are for too. It's a place for adults to come and connect, and I have a weekly adult meditation I do via Zoom.
It's all donation. Everything we do is donation based, but, uh, it's every Wednesday at 10:00 AM Pacific Standard time that's open to anybody, whoever wants. It's all levels of people. It's absolutely incredible. Um, because you know, monkey see Monkey Dew too. If you want your kids to have this kind of, uh, connection and, and have this kind of soul work, it, you should try it for yourself as well, you know?
Absolutely, absolutely.
Um, we ask everybody on the show where you put yourself on the powerful lady scale, zero being average, everyday human, and 10 being the most powerful lady possible. Where would you score yourself today and where do you think you score yourself on average?
I'm gonna give myself an eight.
Um, especially from where I've come to where I'm going. I, I strive to be a 10, but it's always a process. There's always more. There's, there's not a finish line, so I feel like ten's a finish line and there's never a finish line. It's a constant go, go, you know, more and more and more, um, creation. Um, what was the
second part of the question?
Well, how do you feel today versus an average day? And that's me being. Assuming that today is a better day 'cause we got to record together. Mm-hmm.
Yeah. And I got to talk about this work, which is absolutely what I love to do. Uh, you know, on an average day, probably anywhere between a six and a seven. And again, that's, you know, me, me letting my my head get, get in the way.
Uh, the fact that I get to live my life today doing this work is, uh, you know, I'm grateful for it every day. I don't. No disrespect to anybody who's still in the restaurant business. I did it for 25 years. But the fact that I found an out, you know, and I often, I, I am like, I don't have to put on an apron again.
I don't have to take an order again. I don't have to mix a drink again. You know, all of these things that were not feeding my soul and my purpose. And today I get to spend my days doing things like this, creating curriculum, talking to kids, talking to parents, and actually trying to impact. Mm-hmm. World is just, it's unbelievable.
Again, like this was not my plan. You know? I didn't, this wasn't my, I didn't think this was gonna be my life. This, I didn't grow up as somebody who wanted to change the world. Are you kidding me? I wanted the world to change me, you know? Like I wanted everything for myself and, and, and today it's not, it's bigger than myself and it's just.
It's unbelievable who, where, where I've come from, who I was and who I get to be today. I would say, um, I'm an eight today, which is pretty nice. I like that question.
Yeah. Well, and, and I would say you're not trying to change the world. You really are. You really are. Thank you. So, um, thank you so much for the work that you do.
Thank you for trusting yourself and the universe and listening. And you know, part of what's in your story too is like. This hidden opportunity to make the big asks. You know, like we don't, there's so much of the coaching work I do with people where we have to first stop making the small requests, like, what's the big thing you really want?
Like, why are you asking for it? Why aren't you making it? Mm-hmm. And you know, there's, for whatever reasons we think that the big thing that we really want, there's no way we could have it. There's no way it could happen. And if anyone's thinking that now I want them to rewind this episode, go back to your Zebra story and realize, like you asked for the biggest thing possible.
You're like, no, that's not good enough actually. Like I want them closer. Mm-hmm. And they're like, okay, you wanna play that game? We'll play along. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. For everybody that wants to follow you, support you, attend, donate, where are all the places that they can find you, connect with you and support you?
So the biggest place is our website, which is worthy beyond purpose.com, and we have all of our links there. So if you have kids and you're interested in putting them in these classes, again, it's completely donation based. If you have it give, if you don't, don't, the links are just, you just have to click on a link and put your kid in and give it a try.
They're just there. So, uh, and also my meditation is there is up. You can just click on that link. Everything that we have up and coming is gonna be there. Our next fundraiser is gonna be May 1st. Again, that's a day for adults to party together. It's dance, it's meditation, and it's kind of like a sober high.
It's absolutely amazing. It's from 10:00 AM to noon, that's on a Saturday. Uh, my Instagram is worthy Beyond Purpose. Facebook is worthy beyond purpose. My personal is the number one and mean it M-E-A-N-I-T. If you ever wanna connect personally, um, I think that's all the, all the places. The biggest one is the website.
Anything you're looking for will be on the website. Perfect.
Well, I am so thankful, again for the work that you're doing. I'm so thankful you were a yes to being on the podcast and to Anna for connecting us. Your story is incredible. I cannot wait to hear what people have to say about it. And how it's moved them.
Um, and I also can't wait for us to stay in connection and keep supporting what you're up to and, and bringing you into the power police universe. So thank you so much.
Yes, thank you for having me. I do wanna end with a Dalai Lama quote that says, if every 8-year-old in the world is taught meditation, we will end.
We will end war in one generation. Beautiful. Beautiful. Thank you
so much. Thank you.
Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. All the links to connect with Connie and Worthy Beyond Purpose are in our show notes@thepowerfulladies.com slash podcast. There you can also leave comments and ask questions about this episode. Want more powerful? Ladies, come join us on Instagram at Powerful Ladies where you can also find some free downloads.
Start being powerful today. Subscribe to this podcast and help us connect with more listeners by leaving us a five star rating and review. If you're looking to connect direct with me, please visit kara duffy.com. We'll be back next week with a brand new episode. Until then, I hope we taking on being powerful in your life.
Go be awesome. And up to something you love.
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Created and hosted by Kara Duffy
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