Episode 114: Turning Tragedy Into Triumph | Caitlin Conner | Adaptive Athlete & Founder of Be More Adaptive
Caitlin Conner is an adaptive athlete, model, brand ambassador, social media manager, mom, and founder of the nonprofit Be More Adaptive. After surviving a devastating motorcycle accident while pregnant, Caitlin faced the challenges of recovery, new motherhood, and learning to walk again. She found her way forward through adaptive sports, from running and triathlon to boxing and figure skating, and built a community dedicated to connecting people with disabilities to resources worldwide. Caitlin shares how she rebuilt her confidence, why failure is part of the process, and the role resilience plays in creating a fulfilling life. Her story is proof that even in the face of life-changing events, it’s possible to design a future that reflects your passions, values, and goals.
“You are your own story. Things are given to you because you’re meant to handle it.”
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Follow along using the Transcript
Chapters
00:00 Meet Caitlin Conner
04:15 The Motorcycle Accident That Changed Everything
08:40 Becoming a Mother During Recovery
12:20 Learning to Walk Again
16:50 Finding Adaptive Sports
21:15 From Triathlons to Boxing and Figure Skating
25:40 Starting Be More Adaptive
29:55 Building a Global Resource Network
34:20 How Sports Build Confidence and Community
38:45 Overcoming the Fear of Failure
42:10 Advice for Anyone Facing a Life-Altering Challenge
46:00 Caitlin’s Vision for the Future of Adaptive Sports
50:15 How to Connect with Be More Adaptive
Constant opportunities to get better at something that you, you feel awful at. You feel like you're failing. Can it help me to learn that? It's just something you keep working at. Like even now today though, I still fight these things. I still have to fight my own self-consciousness about how I felt at things and
mm-hmm.
It's just some, it's a lifelong project. You are a lifelong project for yourself.
That's Kaitlyn Connor, and this is The Powerful Ladies Podcast.
Hey guys, I'm your host, Kara Duffy. In this episode, I sit down with Kaitlyn Connor, an adaptive athlete model, brand ambassador, social media manager, mom and founder of the nonprofit, be more adaptive. We discuss where our confidence comes from. Why it's important to experience failure and persevere, and how everyone can experience more amazing opportunities and happiness by choosing to be more adaptive.
Before we jump into this episode, I want to remind you to come and join my Powerful Ladies Thrive membership. The best way to ensure you live your dream life is to have a coach and a community that will help you get there, and that's what Thrive is for. Join us today. Go to the powerful ladies.com. And jump into our twice weekly group coaching sessions to kickstart everything that matters to you and transform your year.
All right. Well, Caitlin, welcome to the Powerful Ladies Podcast. I'm happy to have you. Thanks for having me on. So Tammy, of course, connected us with rave reviews, um, and based on your relationship with your York Athletics, but I would love to have you give an intro to everyone listening your name, what you're up to, and you can just jump into whatever part of your story you wanna start telling.
Oh, well, first of
all, thank you to Tammy and York because they're awesome. And it's also their fifth birthday anniversary, so that's pretty great. I've known them for five years. I got really lucky and just kind of found 'em right when they came into existence. But as far as my story, um, I didn't really have a story until I got to a motorcycle accident, uh, almost seven years ago.
Mm-hmm. I was a newlywed. I had. A lot of trauma happened all at the same time. I lost my brother a few months before we got married. At the same time, my now ex, um, lost one of his best friends like three days after that. And then we were going to see his mom who was just diagnosed with cancer and we got hit by a girl who was texting while driving while we were on our motorcycle.
Uh, and that kind of just became a catalyst for where I am today.
Mm-hmm.
Um, so. I, long story short, his mom ended up surviving a year, a year after that my mom got leukemia and she survived two years. Um, but in that process, um, one of the big things that happened was the day before my birthday was when the accident happened, and I woke up on my 24th birthday and learned that I was four weeks pregnant.
And so that became just my new focus. So, and that was, that was a good thing for me, but also a bad thing because I didn't take care of myself mentally the way I should have. I was very hyper-focused on my now 6-year-old daughter who survived it. Um, but I took a few years to realize I had PTSD and mm-hmm.
I, I became really good at shutting people out and just trudging through it. Right? And so, mm-hmm. I started getting through that through fitness and started doing a bunch of adaptive sports, which was new for me because I never did sports before. I lost my leg. Um, I was the kid growing up that was always last pick, you know, the ball that we would play with would find my face.
Like I wasn't a natural, but also I didn't understand that being a natural doesn't really exist, that it takes a ton of practice and work, and I just didn't know that until I had to learn how to walk over and over again.
Yeah, and, and to be clear, if everyone was seeing the accident that happened the day before your 21st birthday.
Is is when you lost your leg through that accident,
correct? Yes. I lost 75% of, of my ankle at impact and my ex also was injured, but survived the accident and with everything. Mm-hmm. Um, we got sent to two separate hospitals and that's how we started our marriage. Uh, we went home and in two wheelchairs and we'd go shopping in our electric wheelchair carts.
Um, like that's just how it happened for us and mm-hmm. It. I stayed in the hospital for two weeks. They tried to save my ankle. It, it had some feeling and I could wiggle my toes. So they, they saw that as a positive. I saw it as a waste of time myself.
Mm-hmm.
I, I did EMS before I lost my legs, so I had enough medical understanding to understand that my artery is too far damaged to supply anything to any new tissue that might be going down there.
Uh, the hard part was I did go through seven surgeries while I was pregnant. Uh, the seventh being amputation, and that means minimal anesthesia pain, me medicine, and antibiotics. So there's a high risk of infection and you're not on antibiotics, but also there's a high risk of hurting the baby if I'm taking the wrong medications.
And for me, that wasn't an option.
Mm-hmm. Yeah. And you know, just to speak to how much happened all at once, right? Like the, the PTSD coming, not just from your own accident experience, but what probably felt like unrelenting, like blows of, of what was going on. Um, how quickly from when the accident happened did you start taking up sports?
So sports were never. On my mind at all until mm-hmm. I went to a prosthetic company in, in Fort Worth, Texas called Baker Orthotics and Prosthetics, and they introduced to me the world of nonprofits. I wasn't really familiar with it until I needed it. Mm-hmm. And there was a nonprofit out there called the Challenge Athletes Foundation.
They're based outta San Diego, but they work all over the world and they have a grant system. Each year that people with disabilities can apply for, to receive either athletic equipment, travel to go do athletics or things like prosthetics or wheelchairs. Mm-hmm. And so I actually had an opportunity to get a running prosthetic, which my prosthetist brought up to me.
And he said, Hey, have you thought about getting a running blade and you can get one basically for free through this nonprofit? And I was like. Running. Yeah, sure. I could chase after my kid. Like I could go run into the car, you know, to the road if I need to, you know, grab her real fast. It was nothing athletic.
It was all survival mode basically. Yeah. It was, was all I thought about it. Um, and so I was like, yeah, whatever. I mean, if it's not gonna cost me anything, then sure, well that kind of turned into a lot of different things. Once I started experimenting with that and getting into shape and things like that, I started to understand that.
I had stopped myself from doing all these sports, not because I wasn't a natural or I just wasn't good at it.
Mm-hmm.
Because I was afraid to actually do it and fail at it. Um, and it wasn't until I had to start learning to walk over and over again. Um, once post-accident, of course, losing a limb, you know, and then getting more pregnant, your spine actually changes in the process.
It's the only time your spine changes. Then I actually rebroke my leg while I was pregnant. I had just gotten to my third semester or third trimester, and I fractured a bone spur at the bottom. And so then I had to basically learn again and ended up being mostly wheelchair bound at that time until I finished term.
And then I had to learn again after delivery. And so all of these constant. Opportunities is what they are. Constant opportunities to get better at something that you, you feel awful at, you feel like you're failing. Um, kinda, kinda helped me to learn that, that it's just something you keep working at. Like even now today though, I still fight these things.
I still have to fight my own self-consciousness about how I fell at things and
mm-hmm.
It's just some, it's a lifelong project. You are a lifelong project for yourself.
I love that. And what sports have you now taken up and which ones are you competing in?
Okay, so I'm technically not competing right now and I have, uh, that same bone spur is still an issue, so I'm working on a new prosthetic.
Mm-hmm. Um, and just with C-O-V-I-D-I really had to focus on work and, and saving and trying to find some kind of balance. Um, yeah. And, and sports do cost a lot of money, unfortunately. Yeah. Because it sucks. You just wanna be healthy. But our system and especially our insert insurance system, does not make it rewarding to be involved in physical activity.
Mm-hmm. Especially in the adaptive community, like a racing wheelchair, a running prosthetic, none of those things are covered by insurance. It's all out of pocket. It's all expensive. Mm-hmm. Unless you go through a nonprofit, which they have to work really hard to fundraise for, um, you almost just kinda get put on the back burner, which.
In the long run hurts yourself and it just kind of hurts society as a whole because then you become more of a burden. Mm-hmm. Whether that's you're not able to contribute 'cause you're not strong enough, or maybe you get sick because you're not in the right physical health, you know? Mm-hmm. All these things can be avoided if we actually encourage physical activity instead of discouraging it in all the ways that we do.
Mm-hmm. To answer your question, uh, the sports that I've touched on is running triathlons, so swim, bike, and run. Um, and in cycling that was also road cycling. Um, track cycling, which is a little bit different.
Mm-hmm.
And time trial cycling, which is usually on the road as well. Just a different style. So. Um, I had to, I had to learn how to ride a bike on course in San Diego for the challenged Athlete Triathlon Relay.
And that was, uh, a mind altering moment for me to have to learn something so difficult and realize that I was so completely under prepared for that. Mm-hmm. Um, but I've also done boxing, figure skating, pretty much all of your track and field events. I've done long jump. You know, some air rifle. I, I can't even remember Everything I've touched on.
I just like to explore and play in sports and then CrossFit. Mm-hmm. Rock climbing. Yeah. I just like sport. I just like to try everything.
So someone who went from no sports, no thank you to now all of them, um, how has that changed how you see yourself?
I, you know, I. I feel like my personality is the kind that likes to dabble in everything.
Mm-hmm. Um, and I now have a nonprofit that actually kind of reflects that a little bit. So I enjoy testing out new things. I've learned that it's hard for me to stick to one thing.
Mm-hmm. Um,
but I really enjoy trying a ton of different things and then pulling other people in and saying, Hey, if I can do this, you can do this.
Um, well, and just like in sports in general, it's kind of, uh. Accountability partner relationship. When somebody comes up to me and says, oh my gosh, you're doing this with one leg and now I feel like I should go do this better? Yeah, yeah, you should. But then they walk away and I'm like, oh, now I gotta keep doing this 'cause I'm actually helping somebody do something better.
So it's, it's, it's my own little accountability partner. When somebody comes up and says that to me, that's not always the mindset. A lot of times people in the adaptive community have. Had to fight all these different mindsets of the public for years. Right. Generations. Mm-hmm. And so somebody comes up and says, oh my gosh, you're in inspir inspirational for going to the grocery store and getting groceries, right?
They're just living their life like, yeah. If that was the hardest thing they had to do, and for them they had to struggle to get outta bed every day, then maybe, maybe that is inspirational. Right. But it mm-hmm. But you don't know that you, you don't know what they go through. Right. And that's the problem is people don't ask.
They don't go through the stuff to ask what that was like for them. And it's that simple. So that's how it becomes offensive to people is when they simply don't ask. Like, is this something that's hard for you to do? Or is this something that is your normal? Because if it's your normal, it's, it's just like anybody else.
Like, oh, you're just doing your tour. Right. Yeah. It's not a task, it's not the same thing. Mm-hmm. Um, it's, it's just a mindset thing. So I, I find it interesting when people come up that are in the adoptive community and they get offended at. It's a trigger word for them based on their own experience.
Mm-hmm. The problem is they also push those, those beliefs onto other people in the adapted community. Like the word disabled disability. Right? Yeah. Some people are offended by it. I personally am not. Right? Mm-hmm. For me, I'm looking at a definition in the dictionary. If you take my prosthetic away, I am certainly disabled in certain ways than I am with it, right?
Mm-hmm.
I have a bone spur at the bottom. My prosthetic doesn't fit right now. It's crippling, it's disabling. That doesn't mean I can't do things, so, right. It's this balance in between the two
and there's plenty of, um, fully able bodied humans who have plenty of other disabilities that no one, no one sees, so it doesn't become a conversation.
Yeah, absolutely. And here's the thing, any one point in somebody's life, they can and will obtain a disability. Mm-hmm. Whether it's physical, intellectual, mental, whatever you wanna think about it. You can fall off a curb and sprain your ankle and suddenly now you can't do something. Right. So the fact that the general public doesn't treat it as something that will happen to them is an issue because when it does, they're gonna understand the inconvenience they're gonna mm-hmm.
I didn't, I didn't really understand it until I went through it. I had a brother with epilepsy who ended up passing away from it. And then I have a brother with cerebral palsy. I had disability in my life. From birth, but it wasn't mm-hmm. Me. So therefore I didn't see it the same. Yeah. Until it happened to me.
It was, it is completely different.
Mm-hmm. And, um, what is your nonprofit called? Be More Adaptive. Your Shirt. Nice. I like it. And, and what did, what is the core focus that you bring to that? Um, I'm assuming based on the name, getting more people to be more adaptive, but what is at the heart of it?
So be more adaptive.
Our, our goal as a nonprofit is to be the largest adaptive resource in the world. And what that means is to take all of these resources that already exist or will exist in the future and put them in one easy to access place. So we're currently working on a database that will have all of this information accessible to the public and categorized in a way that's easier for people to access.
So when I lost my leg, I. I didn't have work, which meant I had time to do research. I also have the understanding and the ability to do research. Mm-hmm. Not everybody can do that, will do that or wants to do that. Right. So I was fortunate in that sense because I had time to look up any kind of resource. I also learned how very difficult it was to find resources.
They all, they exist. There are some that have existed for years. But maybe, maybe they don't know how to market themselves and they can't get out. They don't know what SEO is for their website to make that trend. Yeah. Um, maybe they don't have the funding to do it. Maybe they're just a small neighborhood resource, right?
Mm-hmm. Those things are hard to find when they're not put out in the right way. There are so many people in the world that need them, but they can't be found. Mm-hmm. So something needs to happen where they need to come together. So basically be more adaptive, wants to be like a mix of Google and Amazon.
Then they had this little adaptive baby that's accessible to everybody. So that's the easiest way to put that.
Well, and I imagine that would also be really helpful for even connecting donors to these smaller organizations because. If you can't find them and you need them, chances are that people who want to give to support those types of organizations really can't find them because there's a different level of motivation.
That's correct. Because if we don't continue to fund these, these nonprofits, these resources, mm-hmm. Or even these brands that are for-profits that we like and need and enjoy, they cease to exist and that's part of the problem as well. So be more adaptive is meant to be this kind of neutral ground that everybody can come together.
And we also wanna encourage nonprofits to work together and share things. Mm-hmm. I mean, sharing is caring. It's very simple. We get taught very early in life, but we don't do it as adults. And that was one of the things I started to learn as an adaptive athlete. I would go to one nonprofit to get a grant for say a, a prosthetic running blade, and then I would go to another to get funds to go do a race.
The two nonprofits I would find would feel there's some kind of natural competition between themselves and they can't have, um, sorry to call it this, but a poster child adaptive athlete for their own organization only. Mm-hmm. The problem is sports are expensive, right. I've already said that you can't expect somebody who doesn't get treated the same economically, who has a huge cost for whatever their disability may be.
To be able to go do something extracurricular. Mm-hmm. Now, sure it's extracurricular in the sense that you don't have to do it, but I think it's extremely necessary mentally and physically to take part in sports. Mm-hmm. Sure. It doesn't need to be a race, but the fact that it's so expensive to take part in sports in general, whether you're racing or not, it's an issue.
Um, so I, I found this competition between nonprofits disturbing. Mm-hmm. It actually discouraged me from using them as a resource if they had this negativity about them. But the problem with that, again, if I don't use the resource that people fundraise and donate to, that resource goes away because that funding goes away.
Because why? Because nobody uses it, therefore, nobody needs it, right? Mm-hmm. That, that's just the logic behind it. So for, for me to be able to. Help these resources continue to exist. There needed to be a neutral ground, and that's, that's kind of what happened with Be more adaptive.
Yeah. Um, prior to being a business coach, I was started coaching nonprofits because there were so many people with good hearts and good intentions that just didn't have business acumen.
And it was really frustrating to be like, oh, you wanna, you know, picket, save dogs, save kids, help people, and now what? Right. Like if somebody gets so stuck. So I love this idea of bringing everyone together, of having this shared resource and. Especially in the nonprofit space, like why are we competing?
Like why it shouldn't be. Yeah, exactly. Mm-hmm. And especially in the adaptive community. 'cause you look, it's already a smaller percentage of the community that it relates to. It's only 20% say of the community that it relates to. Mm-hmm. At one full time, not counting temporary disabilities. Right. Right. Um.
So the fact that in that 20%, how many organizations are actually relating to the adaptive community and therefore, how many of that percentage is actually com competing with each other?
Mm-hmm.
What, so what I found with some of the, the partnerships I've created with the nonprofit is that if they need something, say they wanna host an event in a different city, that they're not established.
I know somebody who's in that city, and guess what they have? They have an establishment that you can use. You just cross promote it and it helps each other out. Mm-hmm. Like mm-hmm. It works out if you let it and it's, I'm sorry. It's just really adult to share things as,
yes.
I mean, we practice what we preach, right?
Like I have a 6-year-old in there. I tell to share things and why, why as an adult could we not also share things? It just mm-hmm. It makes sense. Instead of creating a brand new program that you. You haven't dealt with before, find somebody who already has this program in place. Maybe it's not perfect, right?
Mm-hmm. But once you help them make it better, and then you've taken part, you've done something positive for the community, while also not stripping yourself of your own resources for the programs you already have in existence.
Yeah. Yeah. 100%. Um, you know, you mentioned earlier the. The trauma of having all of those life events happen, and then what happened to you personally and having to, you know, the surgeries and learning to walk again.
Um, but I would imagine that there's also other layers to how this has changed your life. Right? You said I used to be EMS. Now, right. Probably can't do that. Um, if, you know, with your, um, not having a leg like you used to, so how has it changed, not just how you were feeling emotionally, but how has it changed your career?
How has it changed the things that people take for granted that you probably had to change everything? I would imagine.
So actually I'll, I'll change your mindset a bit. I actually know plenty of amputees that are in EMS and active firefighters. As well as the active armed forces. Now they're starting to change the regulations.
As long as it's physically fit and you can meet those fitness schools, they're starting to allow you now. It has taken a very long time, and I mean up to the last three years for people to start being allowed to do that stuff. People are perfectly capable. It takes us far much more energy to do what we're doing, so it has a higher tax.
So next time you see somebody out there doing something like that, and they're doing it the exact same visually, right? Yeah. They're actually using, uh, like I use as a single leg amputee, 40% more energy just to walk just because I'm missing those joints below the knee, right?
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Now, you add somebody who's above the amputee or somebody who's a double, right?
Like the, the amounts of. Expended is immense for somebody to do the exact same activity that somebody has in a full able body. Right. Add somebody with muscular issues or mm-hmm. Nerve problems, right? Mm-hmm. It's the same thing. The, the energy transfer is different, but we can do it, it just takes the right mindset, right?
Training sometimes the right equipment and mm-hmm. Usually the right team. Mm-hmm. So to, to have somebody who. Is maybe a boss that hires you or something, and for them to encourage you to try things that maybe you get discouraged about. That is a healthy relationship. You want somebody like that in your life to push you.
Mm-hmm. I have those people in my life. Uh, my boyfriend is one of those people in my life, like, he's like, Hey, stop being lazy. You gotta do this. Like, okay, sure you can't do that. Whatever, but maybe you should at least try, like you need those people in your life. There are also those days where I do need to shut down mentally.
I do have to sit back and go, today's not the day to do this. Like you, you have to decide though, and you have to, you have to have a fine line of, am I being lazy? Do I actually need a break? You have to define that, and until you do that, you, you won't find a healthy level of self, right? Mm-hmm. You, you really have to get used to being uncomfortable.
Whether it's being adaptive, owning your own business, you know, making new clientele for work, whatever it may be, getting uncomfortable is the best thing you can do to progress in life.
Yeah, I mean, I feel like the slogan on your t-shirt and that your nonprofit is really, really needs to apply to everybody because we miss so many opportunities no matter what we're dealing with because we, we choose to.
Not look what's over there to not try to, you know, one of the recurring conversations I have with people is, you know, I, I need more confidence. I'm like, okay, well first you fail and then you get confidence and, and that makes people so uncomfortable, they don't wanna move into that space of potentially failing.
Um, prior to COVID, I had just started training Jiujitsu for the first time, and. I loved the fact that I looked like an idiot. Like I was doing everything wrong, like accidentally poking people in the eyes or headbutting people, or like even the warmups, I couldn't do some of the warmups because I'm like, wait, how do you move your body to like make this happen?
Um, but I'm also a weirdo who is like, who likes the challenge element, but it was so refreshing to feel, um, to feel like a beginner. Um, in a whole new space, and it reconnects you with parts of yourself that you don't use. If you're not going into that space, space of, I'm probably gonna look like an idiot, I'm probably gonna fail a whole bunch, but, uh, let's go see what we find.
Yeah. And, and sometimes it's about finding how you're different and using that as your tool, right? Mm-hmm. I have done jujitsu as well, not, not for very long, but I actually had an advantage by missing a leg sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes. One of my favorite things to do is use the end of my leg as like allure to like, make somebody look at it.
'cause they're, they're intimidated by it. They don't know what to do with it. Right. Unless they've actually worked with you before, they don't know what to expect. So like, I'd sit there and I'd do this and I'd wrap around, do something else. I look over here and get from the side. So you, you kind of have to use that to your advantage.
Mm-hmm. And it, it really was not until. I just, I didn't have as many opportunities hit me in the face until I was an amputee. And that's some of it is my fault. Some of it is just closing the door before I had a chance to open it. Mm-hmm. And then some of it is because I'm different now. And guess what?
Everybody's different. Different is such, it's cliche at the same time. The, the world is moving towards understanding the adaptive community more right now, and that's so important and crucial and it literally affects everybody in the world, every person. Yeah. So. Finding what's different about you To stand out and, and be unique is important, but it wasn't until I lost my leg that I even started doing the, the modeling that I've started doing, that was never an opportunity before.
Right. And a lot of that, because I didn't allow myself to do that, I didn't understand what it meant. I had somebody invite me to go be a part of a fashion show at LA Fashion Week, and my only job was to be on stage and walk in my running blade. It was my only job I was going to be in EMS and that changed because they took my scholarship away because I wanted to go into college instead of just straight paramedics.
Mm-hmm. So, which is kind of counterproductive, but um. So I ended up going at first for sciences and then somewhere in there I took a class called Voice Study, which I thought was the study of the mechanics of the voice, but really it was a vocal arts class. So I showed up and it was a piano and a professor, and he's like, how'd you get here?
And I was like, I don't know the computer. Let me register. He's like, can you sing? And I'm like, I sing in the car in the shower, which is not what he wanted to hear. Um, luckily I can carry a tune in a bucket and ended up actually. Doing a complete 180 and changing to an arts degree, which I somewhat utilized, but not the singing part very much.
Um, so she took, she told me, she goes, I don't wanna sing for anyone else. It's, it's not, it's not for me to sing to anybody else. And I was like, ah, that's exactly why I stopped singing in, in the universities because it felt too vulnerable. Mm-hmm. It felt too personal. And so that was before I lost my leg and before I got comfortable.
And now. Singing is still much more vulnerable.
When you hear the words powerful and ladies separately, what do they mean to you? What do you hear? And does that change when you hear them together as powerful ladies?
So I don't, I, I don't know. That's a good question. Like, I don't necessarily connect powerful or lady together.
I don't necessarily disconnect them either. Mm-hmm. Um, just because I think powerful can be a term that's used to anybody and lady, I don't. I don't ever see lady as not powerful. Mm-hmm. I mean the, I don't ever think of it like that. I mean, I always think of lady as something respectable and, and maybe it's old fashioned, but somebody who, who cares about what others think and actually goes through these, these thought process to be kind and thoughtful and, and you put powerful and lady together.
It's somebody who is just like. Falls the wall straightforward, gets your stuff done, but does in a respectful way. Like Yeah, I don't know. I, I, there's, there's not too many people that really strike me as not powerful as a lady. It's, it's really up to them as a personality if they wanna embrace that. And if they don't embrace that mm-hmm.
There's, that's their choice. And if they don't realize that's their choice, that's their. That's their sadness. You know, you, you have the opportunity to choose to be powerful, but powerful can be so many different things. Mm-hmm. Powerful can be being patient and taking your time, doing something. It takes a lot of strength to be patient.
Mm-hmm. But powerful is also positivity, like
mm-hmm.
Having the ability to be positive at a time. You really don't wanna be positive. Everything's falling apart. You're choosing to look on the bright side. That to me, strikes me as powerful, like mm-hmm. When the accident happened, I, I remember everything. I was conscious the whole time, uh, until, you know, I landed on the helicopter pad at the hospital and they put something in my IV and then I was out.
But I, the whole, the whole experience, there was no outer body experience for me. Mm-hmm. It was very earthly and real, and everything that was happening. It was tangible, which is. Probably not how everybody experiences it. Mm-hmm. But you know, as soon as everything happened, you know, I did my best to stay calm.
And honestly, I think that was the best thing I did. And some of that does come from my, my EMT background, because I did have some understanding what was happening physically, which is important for people to have a general education of, of body function, and
mm-hmm.
Pain how to, how to, how to overcome pain instead of succumb to it, right?
Mm-hmm. So one of the best things I did was actually stop freaking out. I, I stopped, I sat up, I looked at my ankle, I, my foot was like this, hanging to the side, and I was like, all right, that's gone for me. I accepted that right then I said, I'm not worried about that. I'm gonna lay down and calm down and breathe and save what I can.
That was the best thing I could have done at that time was to just calm down. Had it freaked out anymore, I would've lost more blood, which in turn means I would've lost more of my leg. Um, I got into the ambulance and they're asking me the general cognitive questions, and one of my favorite part. You know, they, they say, oh, what's the day?
Actually, they like, hesitate on the day. I was like, wait, what year is this? Oh, okay, I'm kidding. But then they, they got to the president that year and I was joking with them. Like I, they said, who's the president? I was like, I'm not gonna answer that. And they said, what? I'm not gonna answer that. So, oh, you're good.
You're fine. Yeah. It, it didn't really matter. I was just poking at them. I was like, oh, I don't, I'm not gonna answer that. I, I don't have to answer that question. I'm just joking. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Um, but the, to be able to be positive in a moment that you can literally fall apart and everybody accept it is, is so important and vital to growth.
Um, yeah. When I was in, when I was in the hospital, one of my nurses was awful. The rest were great, but one was awful and. She literally left me in my urine one day. I had an external fixator on one leg. I had r rash everywhere and my face was like down, dragging down to one side and it all over my arms.
Yet I still would hold myself up, go to the bathroom. I would clean myself holding myself with one arm and one leg. 'cause everything else was either working or not working. Mm-hmm. And all she had to do was remove it and empty it. You know, I, I was stuck in a bed pan at the time. And. I, I asked her and I continued holding myself up as much as it hurt, because remember, I'm on minimal pain meds right now.
I can feel everything. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. She,
she goes, oh, no, no, you're good. There's nothing there. The next nurse came in shortly after I was laying in dry gear and that had been there and I wasn't urinating on myself, so I knew that wasn't me, and that just made me so mad and
mm-hmm. And she came in another time.
Makes me mad.
Yeah. I, I could see red and, and I, it takes a lot for me to be mad and to. To go through any actions, right? Like for me to be mad and, and go through an action about that means I'm really mad. Mm-hmm. And so the next thing she did was she said, oh, what's your pain level? And I said, oh, it's a 10.
But I said it really calmly and I was trying to smile 'cause it's not her fault I'm there, right? Mm-hmm. And she looks at me and she's like, look at you. You should be a 10. Like real snotty. And I was like, give me the head nurse. I don't need your attitude. Get outta here. And that was also a powerful moment to stand up and say, I don't need to deal with this.
Mm-hmm. Get outta here. And you know, after that I was fine. I had great nurses, but I, I wouldn't have done that before. I didn't have that, that fire in me before that. And I needed it. I really did. Um, yeah, and I came back, uh, a few months after the accident just to go see the radiology team and say hi to everyone that took care of me.
And I saw her walking down the hallway and she didn't recognize me. She had no idea who I was. And I had apparently made no impact in her life, whether good or bad, and she just looked miserable. And at that moment I knew I had to let go, and I knew that. Mm-hmm. Her life was obviously miserable enough and she was taking out everything around her, and she had no joy, and why should I hold that against her?
Mm-hmm. As much as it hurt me in the moment, I was like, yeah, her life sucks worse than mine, apparently. Like, so, I mean, it's. It's good to be able to let go and it's mm-hmm. It's such a life lesson to have the ability to let go of the negative people. And sometimes I have too good of inability to let go of people, but, uh, I also find it necessary and part of the journey to have that ability.
Mm-hmm. Well, and, and to protect yourself and your boundaries. Right. And honor, honor what you're creating and up to, because as you mentioned, if it's taking. 40% more energy to, to walk than it would be if somebody, somebody else. All of that adds up. And so, you know, no, no matter what we're dealing with, we have to protect how we use the energy and the time we have and who we do it with and what we hang onto.
Because otherwise we're all exhausted fighting battles that aren't, aren't ours.
Yeah. And mm-hmm. And honestly, you also need to pick where you wanna put your energy in life and mm-hmm. For me, that's, you know, my daughter, my boyfriend, the people closest to me. Mm-hmm. Um, I do, I co-parent very well with her dad as well.
I mean, our, we're not like best friends hanging out, having parties, but we have to work together to make that work. Mm-hmm. And so I, I do save energy for that as well. Because I do understand how important that relationship is for her to have a good life. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And so I have to make sure my energy goes immediately to those areas and then having enough energy to do work and then mm-hmm.
Sometimes things take the back burner and you have to have little reminders to bring it back to them so they don't disappear.
Mm-hmm. In addition to your sports, what else do you do to. Keep yourself intentional and your mind clear, and what else you do to stay at your best. See, my mind's never clear.
First of all,
I'm always going million miles a minute and I'm always doing too much. But I think it's part of my personality to have my hands dipped and everything. Um mm-hmm. Just as much as my nonprofit touches all different categories of disability in life, and whether it's fashion or sports or whatever, you know?
Mm-hmm. My life is like that too, whether it's sports or fashion or. Somewhat acting, you know, I also do marketing. That's my day job is, mm-hmm. Is digital and social media marketing mostly. Mm-hmm. So I have to have the ability to almost change my personality a bit, um, which is sometimes kind of toxic. You have to know where your healthy boundary is and you have, like, I have to put on app timers so I'm not staying on one thing all day and not getting something else done.
Um, but I do everything. I work with a coffee shop called Active Passion. I work with a wholesale bakery called Cake and Bacon. I work with an interior designer called Lux and Logic. Then I have my, myself as a brand, I have be more adaptive. I have CC Adaptive, which is the marketing brand. I run like 10 different accounts on a daily basis.
Mm-hmm. And I have to switch on a dime to these accounts to, to change topics. So. It's just, it's just interesting to be able to flex that much. Mm-hmm. And to literally have somebody's income somewhat. Right. On how you present them. Right. I mean, if, if you're not presented in the public eye properly, your income reflects that, right?
Mm-hmm. So I have to make sure that I'm, I'm paying attention enough to all these different details that I'm not screwing up somebody's. Personal business. Right? Like, these are their babies. They're not my babies, but I'm, I'm a subset of it, right? Like, just I contract out for the most part, but I am a part of them.
Mm-hmm. So, to me it's, it's really important if you're gonna do something like this to pick brands and concepts that you're truly passionate about along with the people you're passionate about. Mm-hmm. Um, my last boss that I did this with, I started this style of business with. Um, it was customers based off desperation basically, and all these different brands that it was really hard to market.
Like the worst one I had to market was a plumber that wasn't even local, and I didn't even get to talk to them because, uh, my ex-boss was the one communicating, and so I didn't know how to market them because I didn't get to communicate with them at all. I hated that, like, yeah, for me, communication is important when I'm trying to get out an idea of what you are.
So, uh, imagine you're, you're given this brand and a few photos and you have to make up the rest, like you don't know anything about it. Make it up. Yeah. There you go. Go paint a picture. It doesn't work that way. It wasn't successful. We lost the client. Mm-hmm. That, that is something I never wanted to do it again.
So when I started doing it on my own, I made sure I liked the client, that I enjoyed seeing them all the time. 'cause you have to do that. That I enjoyed being there in the presence of it. Mm-hmm. And that it was something I could actually create for.
It's so important 'cause you, you hit the nail on the head of being able to have real conversations with their, your client so that you can have real conversations with their customer.
And you know, I mean, you know how important the social media is today that. Whether or not it's, it's driving direct ROI to your revenue, it's for sure creating your brand identity. It's for sure creating your brand awareness and it's all a conversation. All of this stuff is Right. Be more adaptive is the conversation.
It's done. It's
done. Exactly. Exactly.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. I mean, I think all these, these major brands, um, really miss out. We're talking brands that are longstanding. They're not going anywhere, say McDonald's, Nike, whatever. Right. These major brands. But what they're missing out on is an opportunity, opportunity to actually create community and a long lasting, um, community.
Now, brands that large, you have so many people in and out the door, it doesn't really matter, so to speak, right? Mm-hmm. But for smaller brands, it does matter. Every con, every communication that you make, every conversation you have is basically. Opportunity, right? Mm-hmm. So when you're talking about social media, if you're not reaching out and having genuine conversation with them, it's a lost opportunity.
And so all these brands that they go out and all they're doing is selling all the time, it's just, it's just an ad. No, nobody's gonna care. Why should I care about your ad? If I really wanna, I'm just gonna a store and I'll buy it, but why should I care? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Now it's not like York, like York Athletics.
I reached out to them when I was a new athlete. I didn't have, I got laid off from work. I didn't have much money. We just had a baby. We were like basically scraping food together kind of thing. Right? Yeah. I reached out to them like kind of as a ploy, which, which cracks me up now because they're like family.
So I reached out and I was like, Hey, I noticed you don't have any adaptive athletes. Would you like one? And, and it basically turned into I just need a pair of shoes, right? I need something so I can race. And then it turned into so much more, then they became family, and it was, to me, that is important. And guess what?
They, they have a fan for life, and they have family for life out of me because they took an opportunity to actually help me beyond the one pair of shoes, right? Mm-hmm. You're not gonna get that out of major brands. Mm-hmm. And it's not necessarily they, they don't necessarily have to, right? Yeah. Because they're big enough, they're so world known, right?
They've been around. But when you find the right small brands that you can build a relationship with, that's when things get done, and that's when things create long lasting relationships and stories. And that's, that's beautiful, right? Yeah. You can't just reach out like how many people do you think hashtag or tag Nike on, on social media, right.
Do they care? No. Who's Joe Schmo out in the Bronx? That's tagging me. I don't really care. Right. Like, I just, just an example, right? Yeah. But then it's also knowing how to market yourself, like
mm-hmm.
I did put an interesting topic on their table when I said that. I'm like, well, you don't, you, you're not as inclusive as you could be.
Right? And guess what? Now they, they actually created. A shoe that was accessible, not solely because of me, they were always working towards that, but I, I helped push them a little and say, Hey, you should do this. And they did. They actually listened. Then they made a shoe called the Gal that is completely accessible.
Mm-hmm. And guess it. It doesn't make it inaccessible for anybody. Right? Like Yeah. That's what the general public doesn't get. When you make something accessible, doesn't make it inaccessible for, for everybody else. Yeah. It just makes it even easier for them. It's, that's the beauty of universal design, right?
Yeah. And so it, it's important to know. How to market yourself, but also be honest about it, right? Like,
mm-hmm.
So many people, Instagram is a great example. So many people market themselves for something they're not. And then say they buy their followers and it's kind of sad 'cause casting companies or big productions wanna see so many followers to create gain.
But the interaction rates on this account will tell you say you have a hundred thousand followers, but you only get. 200 legs on a photo, that percentage is awful. That should be mm-hmm. Upwards of thousands. If you're getting, if it's a real following, that actually cares about what you're doing, yeah. That should be much higher.
Right. And if you're not creating that introduc rate, then what you're doing is not important anyway. If, if people aren't gonna reach out and actually say something about it, then you should reconsider what you're doing. 'cause it's not important.
Yeah, exactly. Um, would 8-year-old you, uh, be surprised that you pitched yourself to a company that you had just discovered?
Uh, let's see. I don't think 8-year-old me, we would be, I think 20-year-old me would be. I think 8-year-old me would probably run out on stage and like tell everyone that what are you, what are you waiting for? And I think 20-year-old me after like middle school when things starts to go downhill for the general world, right?
Yeah. Like once puberty hits, everything goes downhill. Like, oh, why? Why do I need to exist? And I honestly, I think me in college would've been more hesitant. And that's just because by then I had already created so much self doubt. That it, it wouldn't have mattered. And it literally took almost dying to understand that I was a person worth living.
Like mm-hmm. It, 8-year-old me was living it up. Like there was no bills, there was nothing. Right. Yeah. I, I think 20, 21-year-old would've, that was probably my most self-conscious. Uh, I was pretty self-conscious after losing my leg too. Actually. I made some poor mistakes in those areas, but it's, most of my mistakes are actually stemmed from self-consciousness and mm-hmm.
And self-doubt.
Yep. Well, I think it's a great segue for we ask everybody where they put themselves in the powerful 80 scale. So if zero is average everyday human, and 10 is the most powerful lady in the universe. Where would you put yourself on an average day and where would you put yourself today?
I mean, for me, it depends on the day.
Yeah. It, it can go from zero to 10. It really just depends on the day. Um, so I'll slide right in at five.
Yeah. I mean, perfect.
I, it just doesn't, it doesn't always resonate to me either one. Mm-hmm. Some, sometimes I feel great with what I'm doing and other times it sucks. Like, that's life for me though.
Yeah.
And, and I would argue for most people, right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It's that by the hour the, the score could change. Mm-hmm.
Especially last year, and part of this year. We'll go with that too. Yeah.
Yeah. No, a hundred percent. A hundred percent. Um, so what's next for being more adaptive and how can people support you and find you and all those things?
So
you can always find, be more adaptive and myself via social media. Um, anytime you type in, be more adaptive, you're gonna find us. We're the only be more adaptive. I love it. So we're Instagram and Facebook mostly. I'm not a fan of Twitter. Sorry guys. Yeah. But honestly the next thing, at first we were working so hard on our partnerships and creating the relationship, but now our main focus is really getting the database out because mm-hmm.
That's our biggest contribution right now is to get that out. Mm-hmm. All these other resources exist, so we wanna continue to share that they exist. Um, so if these resources reach out to us, we wanna share what they're doing. But for right now, the databases are focus and until that's done, we're not working on too much else.
'cause that's, mm-hmm. That's important for us.
Yeah. And if people want to donate, you, donate to you today. Can they do that at your website? Mm-hmm.
Yeah, you can do the website. We're on Benevity. We're on Facebook.
Yeah. All right. Very cool. Uh, so for people who maybe have just had a similar accident to you had or are just figuring out what their adaptive life looks like.
What, what would you wanna tell them? You know, what, what hope do you wanna give to whoever's struggling with anything they're struggling with, I guess, uh, in this moment, 'cause to your point of 2020 to 2021, we can continue to get hit with things that we weren't expecting. Mm-hmm.
I mean, I feel like 2020 is a good example for everybody.
Like, everything from Killer Wasp to, to like asteroid hitting us kind of stuff. Like all the different things that come at you. Life. Right? And how, how do we respond? Do we freak out? Do we just run off like our head's been cut off like a chicken or something? Or do we actually like, think about it logically and just prepare for the moment, whatever?
Um, for me, I, I always see it as life as actually very fair as 50% good, 50% fad. You just don't get to choose when that is, right? So anytime something bad happens, I try to say, okay, now that's over. I can start focusing on the good around the corner. That's just, that's kind of what pulls me through it. And so, I mean, I had all those bad things happen at once, but I had so much good come from it, right?
Um, it's, it's just, you know, it's not the end going, going through hurt and pain is not the end and everybody goes through it. The best thing you can do is not compare yourself to everybody. It you are your own story. And I promise you, if you tried to take somebody else's storybook, you wouldn't want it.
Yeah, some things are given to you because you are meant to handle it and some things are given to others because you can't, like, that's just how life is.
Well, I think that's beautiful. It gave me the chills actually. I love that approach because it's, you know, the idea that life is fair when we don't usually say that it is, and how can we take the good and the bad and see the silver lining and see what's next and see how it all comes together.
We never know how what happens today is gonna impact us 5, 10, 15 years down the road and, and how it all will make sense in hindsight, usually. So. Mm-hmm. Uh, but it has been such a pleasure to talk to you today. Thank you for being a Yes. Thank you, Tammy, for the connection. Yes. Um, and no, it's just such a, a treat to get to talk to you today on Zoom and to share your story with everybody else.
Like you dropped some huge knowledge bombs and I can't wait for our, our audience to react to them.
Well, thank you. I
appreciate the opportunity to be on.
Thank you for listening to today's episode. All the links to connect with Caitlin are in our show notes@thepowerfulladies.com slash podcast. There you can also leave comments and ask questions about this episode. Want more powerful? Come join us on Instagram at Powerful Ladies, where you can also find some free downloads to start being powerful today.
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Created and hosted by Kara Duffy
Audio Engineering & Editing by Jordan Duffy
Production by Amanda Kass
Graphic design by Anna Olinova
Music by Joakim Karud
