Episode 135: From Quakes to the Chastity Zone | Holly Brandon | Engineer Turned Award-Winning Author
Holly Brandon traded earthquake engineering for storytelling, turning her real-life dating adventures into the award-winning novel Life in the Chastity Zone. After years in STEM and a personal health battle, she found herself navigating the unpredictable world of love, and realized her experiences had all the makings of a great book. She shares how her career shift unfolded, what science taught her about persistence, and why love can’t be engineered like a building. From awkward first dates to the lessons hidden in heartbreak, Holly’s story is about embracing pivots, chasing creativity, and finding humor in the messiest chapters of life.
“Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean that it’s your path.”
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Author
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Follow along using the Transcript
Chapters:
00:00 – From Earthquake Engineering to Creative Writing
05:28 – How a Health Crisis Changed Her Path
10:32 – Approaching 40 and Rethinking Everything
14:00 – Why Relationships Don’t Follow Career Logic
18:00 – Writing Life in the Chastity Zone
22:00 – Dating Disasters and Comic Relief
28:00 – Lessons Learned from Science and Storytelling
33:00 – How Publishing Differs from Engineering
38:00 – Awards, Recognition, and Reader Reactions
43:00 – Advice for Anyone Considering a Career Pivot
48:00 – The Real Power of Owning Your Story
The problem is I came to a point in my life, I was almost bored. Mm-hmm. And I thought, I have to check, as you said, check off that box, that it's time to get married. And I think where I went wrong, I picked for that reason. I didn't pick 'cause I was madly in love. I'll tell you that much I picked because I think I wanted to be in love.
That's Holly Brandon and this is The Powerful Ladies Podcast.
Hey guys, I'm your host Kara Duffy, and in this episode I have the pleasure of chatting with Earthquake Engineer turned award-winning author. Holly Brandon, after her personal life took some major pivots. She found her love for writing and along the way realized her own true love life Adventurers was in fact its own great book.
We discussed how she went from engineer to author, why it's so frustrating for women that we can't just make love and relationships happen the same way we can, our careers and how our own journey is always giving us tools for our future. Before we jump into this episode, I wanted to invite you to come and join my group coaching membership called Thrive.
This membership is built for entrepreneurs to know that the best way to ensure you live your dream life and have your dream business is to have a community and a coach that will help you get there. If you want results of the people you meet on this podcast, join today. Go to learn dot kara duffy.com and jump into our twice weekly group coaching sessions.
Or one of our monthly workshops or access the tools and resources that are available 24 7 in the portal. Kickstart everything that matters to you and transform your year. Your business can be more simple while being more successful, and of course, be way more fun.
Welcome to The Powerful Ladies Podcast. Thank you for having me on, Kara. I really appreciate it. No, I'm so excited to talk to you today. Let's begin. Please tell everyone your name, um, where in the world do you live and what you're up to.
My name is Holly Brandon. I'm an author, a very new author. I live in California, so sunny California, and it's a new beginning for me.
I never was a author before. I never imagined that this is where my life would take me.
What were you doing before you were an author?
I was a structural engineer of all things.
Very cool.
So my author and grandfather were structural engineers and I wasn't very good at, in school. I was very good at math and very good at science.
I was horrible at English and horrible at history, which, you know, you look and think, well, you're a writer. How could you be horrible in English? I was horrible, or at least that's what my teachers told me. I don't, I guess it's not true now, but, um, I was terrible. And so it just, I loved math. I loved everything about math at the time.
I loved that My dad was an engineer and my fourth grade project was building a shake table of all things. I mean, you have these science fairs and mine was built, you know, it was a little block of wood. It had rubber bands, and it shook, and I thought, I wanna study earthquakes. Like, that was my whole thing from fourth grade.
So I, I can't imagine that now. I'm not doing that and I'm doing this. So you never know, one never knows what life will take you.
You really don't. I, I heard before when I was in school, which was feels like a million years ago, I was told that there was like seven career choice career paths most people had at that time.
Now, especially after what's happened in the past year, I feel like we're just doubling how many career paths we are all gonna have.
Oh, can you imagine? My little nephew said, I wanna be a YouTuber. I've not a YouTuber. He said, well, look, he has a Lamborghini. Okay, we're not gonna be a YouTuber, but perhaps you could develop video games.
Let's think of more along that lines, but not YouTuber. Nothing's, you know, it's not, you just don't know. If you're hit and miss. You'll either make it, you'll have your Lamborghini or. You just dunno. So I thought school, you don't choice, let's keep you in school.
Yes. And we always need options. Right? So I think school is the best way to have the most options possible.
No, that's true. Mm-hmm.
What made you wanna study earthquakes? Was it the science fair or did you experience one?
I experienced one. I experienced the Whittier one. So I remember as a kid running up the stairs. We have wooden, wooden stairs and it felt like they were jutting out and I couldn't run, I couldn't catch my balance to get up there.
And my mom threw us in a closet, my brother and I, and put a down blanket over our heads and I thought, oh my God. And my dad was. I remember my dad standing in the doorway like it was no big deal. He didn't, he didn't react. It was like, oh, we're having an earthquake. And he was actually watching the way that everything was moving to determine what wave it was.
And I thought at the time. This is really bizarre, but this is an incredible event. Nothing happened to us fortunately, but then, you know, we came outside and tree branches were down. I remember there was a light, a lamp that was down, and I thought, this is just what I wanna do. I think there's moments in life where you think, this is what I wanna study, and that's what I wanted to study.
But it also is something I knew would get me into college. So my cousin, right now, your grades aren't very good. I don't know what you've been doing. But you're really good at math and science, so let's focus on that for college. So, I mean, that did help, I won't lie.
And, and how would you rate your structural engineer career?
Did you enjoy it and love it and think you'd be in there forever?
I did. At the time I did. My dad had a company, you know, which my grandfather started, and I thought that that's what I would do. And then once I got involved in school and, and the different classwork, I thought, no, you know, I really wanna be a professor.
My dad was a part-time professor. I actually had him for a class. I remember coming in the first day and I said to don't talk to me. So either they're gonna know I'm your daughter or they're gonna think something else, but either way, don't talk to me. Please don't talk to me. So I come in and he says, what's mom making for dinner tonight?
I thought, oh my goodness, can I just hide? Can I just crawl under the desk? And everyone turns, you could hear a pin drop. I thought, no, please God, no. But he's a wonderful professor. And I wanted, at that time then I thought, well, I wanna be a professor. And so I continued along and I got my PhD and. And then I taught a class, and then I had the experience of no one listening to me standing up there thinking I'm having an anxiety attack.
You know, it's a lot of pressure. I didn't realize how wonderful teachers are, or professors in general, you know, how much. They have to be engaging and I, maybe I'm just not engaging, but they sure weren't engaged to, you know, what I had to say until I told 'em, you know, you can do it your way or you could do it my way and you'll find out who's being got the right answer on the exam.
And they all kind of looked at me and then they started to listen, but basically they could care less what I had to say and I got, and I just, I didn't have it. Mm-hmm. I thought I don't have it to be this nervous and try to be this engaging, I guess I'm, I'm shy, so, you know, and that went down, definitely went down the drain
quickly.
And how did you make the leap then into becoming an author?
Well, that's interesting. So during the dissertation process, I just, I struggled with the stress of it and I struggled with, I actually developed this syndrome called Labate Andy Syndrome. So I was in a lot of pain. And then I found that writing, like I would go on dates and I'd have these horrific dates.
And when I say horrific, I don't think anybody should experience the dates I experienced. I thought, why are they reacting in such a weird way? And I would write 'em down. And I found that when I wrote. I was happy. I was very happy, but also my pain went away subsided. So I guess I was relaxed, you know, because they had me listening to these meditation exercise and I thought, your voice sounds like a bone sex operator.
So I'm not relaxed, like you're telling me to relax different. I had, I don't know, like 90 tapes and I thought for different parts, parts of your body, like from your fingernail. One of the things was I thought, are you kidding me? This is not making me relax. I'm having more pain, and the writing helped me.
The writing actually calmed me and all of a sudden I found as I wrote more and more about the dates, wow, this is something that my body's telling me I should be doing. So maybe the research isn't what I should be doing. 'cause I kept on doing the research after, you know, I got my PhD. I thought, okay, I'll continue.
I love researching. I'll continue researching. And it just wasn't something. My body wanted me to do. I went, I mean, I even went up to the Stanford clinic and they're like, I, you're 0.5% of the population that has this. And it's, it's like having, giving birth to a baby or pain so bad. I don't know what to tell you.
You can't have this kind of stress in my thought. Yeah. What I mean, what am I supposed to do with my life? This engineering's my life until I found writing. And my body seems to be happy. So I've always told people like, if you're having issues, and your body will tell you what's good and what's bad, because clearly it told me, Holly, you love to write and you should be a writer.
Mm-hmm.
No, it's, it's so interesting, um, neurologically, psychologically and physically, how when we aren't paying attention. The, it is almost like it just turns up the volume. Like, oh, you don't wanna listen. Do you want more pain? Do you want, do you want more stress? Do you want more struggle? Like, we're gonna, we're trying to tell you stop and you're not listening.
Mm-hmm. No, and, and I think that happens a lot and it didn't. I know when I finished my master's, well, I was halfway through my master's, my grandmother died and I, I got horrific pain, so that's when it started and I thought, something's wrong here. I don't know if it's just losing her. And just the shock of it, because she was like a second mother, you know, very, very close or this, but throughout my journey I would have these episodes.
So it was just was telling me you may be good at it. Just because you're good at something doesn't mean that sets your path.
Yes.
Just because I'm good at it and my dad keeps, he'll even say, now, aren't you gonna still be an engineer? Don't you wanna, you know, work with me at the company? I think, no, I don't.
But he's very proud now. He's like, I love your book. I love, I'm in your book. I mean, oh gosh. Okay.
Well, let's, perfect segue. Let's give everyone a little bit of a preview of about your book.
So my first novel's called Life in the Chastity Zone, and it's about an engineer who gets dumped by unexpectedly, dumped by her fiance, and goes on a path to find herself and find, and as she journeys on this path of self-discovery, she, you know, overcomes a lot of her demons.
I'll say that in a very funny way because boy, she has a lot of crazy wild dates that, you know, you wouldn't expect. So, and I will say that part of that, I was dumped by my fiance, so. Mm-hmm. You know, 99% of it is true. The names are changed. Yeah. But it's true. I think, you know, for me as a writer, I write from personal experience, which I think gives it.
A lot of truth and people can really feel and relate to it. I'm not gonna hold back. I mean, it happened. It was bad. I remember crying, thinking, this is so awful. Like, how did I get dumped? Well for three prostitutes I thought, wow. Like how? And then, you know, good comes a bad. That's all I have to say, because I didn't have all that bad.
I wouldn't have nothing to write about. Yeah. So, you know, I hope. People enjoy it. I hope the word chastity doesn't deter people. I heard a lot that the word chastity deters and I am in no way preaching religion or anything of that sort. It's more of a play on words. 'cause her name is Chastity and she goes by chase and um, yeah, it's a little journey.
Well, there's so much in that backstory that I wanna dig into a little bit, because there are plenty of powerful women who are either currently going through a breakup process or they're having that life shift, right? Because when you're engaged to someone, you've been forecasting like, this is what my life is gonna look like.
You're planning for it. You're like, oh, I've checked that box. I can worry about other things, and then life throws me at you where it's like, Nope, just kidding. How, how did you get through that yourself and how did you handle it, deal with it, and then pivot back to like, okay, there's another life waiting for me.
Let's go.
Well, I think the problem is I came to a point in my life, I was almost 40. Mm-hmm. And I, I have to check, as you said, check off that box that it is time to get married. I had a lot of family pressure. Mm-hmm. You know, I had a lot of pressure within myself, like, what's going on that I haven't gotten married, and everybody around me is married with kids and I haven't.
I think where I went wrong and I don't know if a lot of other women have gone wrong when they're going through the same thing I picked for that reason. Mm-hmm. I didn't pick because I was madly in love, I'll tell you that much. I picked because I think I wanted to be in love. I had, I was in, I was in love with the idea of love and was in love with the idea of marriage.
And I picked him because, you know, he came around at the right time and I thought, I need to get married and you know, this is what I wanna do. So I, wrong, wrong, wrong. Like, I care how long you wait. My advice to anyone is wait your whole life to feel that love and chemistry because, you know, after that I found, you know, I found that with somebody, so I was able to experience it, but that was not it.
So how did I get through it? Well, he, that was so, he proposed and he gave me two things. He gave me a beautiful ring in one box. And the other box was this cute little alligator suitcase and I thought, oh, this is very cute. Does it have something that's matching? You know, a girl always thinks of 12 more jewelry.
Wow, that's that's very sweet and popular of you. No, I was wrong. It was a note and it had the four Fs listed. Freedom, football, finance, family. And I thought, what does this mean that you know? Thank you for the ring. I just accepted. What's this mean? Like I'm very naive. I will say that I look at the cap half full.
Mm-hmm. And will explain to me what each thing meant. I don't even know how to process this. Like I just sat there thinking, I just got engaged. I have this list that I'm not gonna abide by. There's no way freedom, like you go on boys trips. I don't mind if you wanna go on a boys trip. But what he meant by that, it didn't mean just the boys chip.
It was more like, I can do what I want and I come home and you can't say anything. I thought, whew, okay. You know, I have never been one to be quiet, you know? Mm-hmm. I've had a lot of problems at school and I've spoken up for myself. You have to stand up for yourself as woman. So I, but at the time, I did just sit there, what am I supposed to do with this?
So I processed, and after that I said this, I don't think this is gonna work, like I don't know how. And then he dumped me. You know, three. So how did I get over it? I, I didn't, for a while, I will say that I was a wreck. Mm-hmm. I was a wreck. And it wasn't that I, it wasn't that I lost him. It was the idea. I lost some marriage.
Yeah. I lost there. I had my wedding dress already. I mean, I quickly went out, you know, the next day and got my wedding dress. It was the processing that whole thing. Not him. I'm losing the wedding, I'm losing the box, being checked off. How am I gonna find someone else? Yeah. Like I'm a failure at that. But I wasn't a failure.
I was just, that was not the right person for me. But it took me time, and honestly it took time. If anyone thinks it doesn't take time, it takes time. And then when you, one day, you know, you least expect it. You meet someone new and you have that spark, and you have that chemistry, and then you have that love, you realize, wow, okay, this is what it's all meant for.
Mm-hmm. This is, mm-hmm. You know, even if it doesn't last this moment showed me, 'cause it didn't last with him either. It showed me this is what love is supposed to feel like. Not that. So I can look back now and laugh, but at the time I wasn't laughing at all. Yeah, yeah. And you have a strong support system around you.
My parents are very supportive. My friends are very supportive and they were all saying, well, we kind of told you in the beginning you didn't like him, so this is unexpected. And you knew it too. And I thought, you're right. But I guess experiences are supposed to, you're supposed to have them good or bad.
Mm-hmm. Well, and I think for, for so many women as well, especially people who are out there creating the life they want, right. Going after their careers, you know, buying homes or whatever it is that's on your to-do list, traveling the world. When we can't check a box by ourself, it is so frustrating. Like, we can't get married by ourselves.
We can't just make it happen. Um, you can today have kids by yourself, but it's also a whole other layer of challenges if you choose to go that path. And I know for myself that it's like, ugh. Like sometimes these things you want, you're like, everything else I can make happen. And it's so irritating that I can't check those boxes and I have to be patient and wait and like collaborate with people.
And I, I think it's, and it's not talked about a lot in the sense of there are so many women I know who thought they would be married early in, earlier in life than where they're at or thought they'd have kids younger or they just thought they had kids in general and. The frustration of, of having to not get what you want as fast as you want.
When you're like, I'm ready. Let's go. Let's just check these boxes.
It's true because as a powerful woman, you can do it. You choose to make your career, you choose to make it all happen, but you can't choose to. A man proposed. Like I learned that the hard way. Like why not? I can't, I can do everything else.
Like I pushed through every boundary that I've wanted for myself. Mm-hmm. Why can't I push through this one and I can't? 'cause it takes them proposing, it takes my falling in love and they have to fall in love too. It's their choice too. But in my mind, I still part of me. Why not? Why can't I? Yeah. And I, and it's a very hard thing.
I would think for any woman to be able that's mm-hmm. Pushing through the boundaries to sit there and say, wait, I have to let them come to me. I have to let them pursue. Yeah. I have to let them ask me. But it is, it's very frustrating, I will say that.
Yes. How was it therapeutic for you to write the book?
Because it was based on real life.
Very,
very, I'd
say that I
think
a lot of it was just, it was so traumatic for me. I was so naive about things, you know, I met, I'll, to give you an example, I'm went to, I, I don't like to fly. I will admit I've had some bad experiences, but granted, they're very warranted. You know, I was flying up to Idaho and the girl didn't close the door tight enough.
The stewardess and the alarm went off the whole time. And then another time, because you have these little teeny propellers. And another time we hit a goose or some kind of big bird and I thought, oh my God, like we had the emergency equipment in Salt Lake City ready for us. I thought I'm gonna die. And then I had a crazy on a flight to New York that had to be locked down 'cause he was drug thinking.
He killed everybody, you know? And I have that in the book, but I don't like to fly. Okay. So. For my 35th birthday, my mom took me to Paris and I, oh, that's a long way. Like how am I gonna get over there? Remember gonna my doctor saying I haven't, like, how am I gonna do it? Just take a pill. You'll be fine.
Okay. Since I don't drink, so I'm like, okay. I take a pill. I had the most gorgeous, I got the seating assignment wrong. Gorgeous regimen. It turned out to be Swiss men on the fight next to me. He was stunning. He and he pursued. So here I am thinking, here's a gorgeous guy, very, you know, successful, very charming, wonderful.
What dreams are made of, especially when you're going to Paris, the city of love. You think, oh my goodness, my mom's thinking, wow, you're lucky. And I'm thinking, I hope I don't gas him to death because I have gas attacks and I nervous
to death. He didn't even notice. Somehow he said, I was just charmed by you and he's pursuing like crazy. And I didn't happen to see him in Paris 'cause he was dropped, he was going and I didn't wanna go to the hotel cost for, I thought, Ooh, that looks, the guy told me that's a little seating. I thought, okay, you know, I'm not sure I wanna go.
This is out of my comfort zone. And so he flew to la he flew to have dinner living in LA and in my mind, I'm thinking very romantic. Like this is very, he's making the grand gesture. He turned out to be married and just wanted sex, and I like, hmm. I'm still a virgin. Like at the time I'm still a virgin and yeah, I, my mind's not going there.
My mind's going wedding bells and this and that, even though I don't know him, I'm not in love with him, but I love the idea of love. Yeah. I learned along the way, like I need to have a. I, well actually my cousin turned me on to Matthew. Hes these podcasts and his, you know, advice for women. And I thought, you know, it's very true.
You need them to show you they love you. Mm-hmm. And you need to fall in love with them. You can't, you can't love the idea that you can't love the idea marriage and whatnot. And that helped me a lot. It's very true.
Well, I think there's oftentimes that we also fall in love with the possibility of someone, right?
Like we can see greatness in people and we fall in love with their greatness. Doesn't always mean that we're in love with who they are in reality today,
no, and I think, so writing all this, it did help me. It helped me overcome a lot of the, you know, a lot of times people say when you get married, well men, well, I actually had one say, well, you can't have kids.
Like, I can't have kids. So I had one say, you can't have kids. Oh, well, is that a for sure thing? Do we need to go to the doctor? And you have that checked out? I said I think I would know if it's a for sure thing or not. I can't have kids. Oh, well I don't know if I want you then. And I thought, okay, but that wasn't an abnormal comment.
Right? When minute they expect kids that you're gonna be able, so part of in the book, she has to come to terms with the fact that she can't have kids. Mm-hmm. And that's okay. And that doesn't make her less and still a comedy way. 'cause it is, you know, funny in a comedy. I don't wanna say that it's anything that's not dark, but just.
Where it drags on you. She laughs the whole way through it. But you ha you know, I keep in mind, yes, I can't have kids and now I raise my nephew. So life presents you with things you can't even imagine. Like I never thought I'd be raising a child. I never, I mean, especially when you're told, when I was told I can't have kids, I never thought I'd be raising a little one that looks like me and acts like me.
So a mini me. Yeah, you just
dunno. Well, um, would you mind sharing why you're unable to have kids?
Part
of the labate.
So I have that, and then I have, there's a lot of different complications and I just Yeah. Have children. Yeah. And at the time I thought, you know, I, my whole thing was I'm gonna have twins, I'm gonna have a boy and girl, and then I'll never have to do it again.
Not really thinking about the reality when you're, you know, in your teens or twenties, what that means. I look now and think, wow, that would've been a lot of work. I mean, I can't even imagine what I was thinking, but I was thinking in a logical engineering way, two kids one time giving birth, it's gonna be done.
And I didn't think about it. I didn't think it through. So. You know, I don't know. There's a lot of different ways you can have kids through surrogacy adopting. You know, my godfather had a surrogate and because he never found the right woman, but he wanted a child. Yeah. So I think love comes in different ways.
I love my little nephew like you were my own, I think. Mm-hmm. So love comes in many different ways. I think you just have to realize that being told that, being told anything like that, it's not the end of the world. And any man that thinks it is, well then, you know. Byebye him.
Yeah. Yeah. And how did you end up raising your nephew?
He came to us when he was two months old. So my brother brought him home and you know, he said to my dad, you know, I moved back home to help. He said, can you guys, can you move home to help? And you know, I was living in Idaho at the time, and I said, help with what he said. Well, bringing home a baby. Oh boy.
Like I'm really having anxiety now. When I, especially when I went to the baby shop and thought all, saw all the things that we had to get from heated baby wipes to all these things. I thought, what? This is a lot. And we only had a week to prepare. People have nine months to prepare. Um mm-hmm. You know, you just don't, none of us expected that.
So yeah. Had a tragedy.
Comes good, good things. I'll say that. Um, and how old's your nephew now? He's eight and a half. Oh my
goodness. And I'm teaching third grade, like he is homeschooled right now. He still goes to his private school, but because of the COVID and because of my parents being older, we just decided that, you know, it was best.
We do it at home. And I ended up having, I have a Zoom class now because some of his friends don't wanna wear masks all day long. So they all go to the same private school and they'll stay home a couple days and I have a Zoom class and teach 'em all. So all of a sudden I've become a third grade teacher.
I didn't realize I would be a third grade teacher. Adapted and I'm using my degree for something, you know, as far as teaching, which is amazing to me. And I didn't think it would be this hard to teach third grade, and it is. I thought, wow, I don't remember any of this stuff. But yeah, I'm learning. I have 12 books and I go through methodically and then he seems he loves it.
He said, you know, I don't like school. And I thought, you know, I didn't like school either, so how can I tell you to go when I never went? I mean, I. I mean that, I mean, I'm telling the truth. I never went to school. I probably went two or three days a week to school and school was right behind our house. So, you know, I'd walk around the block to school.
I had a teacher and it's funny 'cause I think I'm teaching third grade. How ironic is that? In third grade, my teacher said to me, 'cause I guess after the first two months of me not going Really? Mm-hmm. She had to give me a bribe. And her bribe was, if you make it a full week, I will take you out to lunch.
And I thought, really? Okay. That'll be easy. It wasn't easy. It didn't happen, I think until a month before school went out that I actually made it the full week and she took me to lunch. It was very sweet. Mrs. Gl always remember her for that, but you know, she said, you've gotta go a full week. And I thought, but I don't wanna go a full week.
I don't like school. So I thought, how can I preach to him to go to school and wear a mask when. I didn't go to school when there were no masks. So he's loving it. He's flourishing, which is great to see the transition of him not liking school. 'cause he hated Zoom last year. Yeah. And actually loving it and flourishing and, and just learning a lot more and actually wanting, willing to learn instead of hiding under his desk from Zoom came like hiding, screaming.
Oh boy.
You have a choice in life and here you go. You get to teach and you get to make up for, you know, your past
Well, yeah. And, and there's such a difference between school and learning. Most people I know love to learn, but not everybody loves school.
No, that is, that's true. And I think that's what it's about.
There's a way to be taught and a way to be taught. And I, he asked one of the little kids on Zoom, I said, so how are you doing? How are you liking school districts? Oh boy. Our teacher's, nothing like last year she yells a lot and I thought, what do I have to yell about it? I don't have anything to yell about, but okay.
Like, I don't yell anyway, but I thought, oh boy. So thank God because his, his disposition couldn't handle somebody screaming at him. So maybe that's what it is. You know, you wish for kids and for everybody's kids to have teachers that really wanna teach. Unfortunately, there's a lot of teachers that don't that are there 'cause this is their job.
But you know, when you're lucky in life, you get a teacher that loves to teach. I had a ninth grade science teacher, I'll never forget him, Mr. Cooperman. He loved to teach, loved to teach, and he made it fun and exciting. And he had these crazy experiments and I remember at Halloween he had this dog with an invisible leash and we all thought, whatcha doing?
You're kinda kooky. But he wasn't kooky. He was just trying to get the students to engage. Mm-hmm. Trying to make him smile. And I think when you have a teacher that believes in you and believes in their students and loves to teach, that's what makes the difference. But those are few and far between, you know, having that kind of passion and love for it.
Mm-hmm.
So, so when you decided to write your book and you're like, okay, I'm, I'm not just gonna write it, I'm actually gonna publish it. Like, how did you find everything you needed to make that happen? 'cause it, there's so people who wanna write and it seems so daunting to be like, okay, let's go figure this out Now.
That's funny you should say that because I had a friend ask me last night, she said, I wanna write a book. How do I go about doing this? I said, wow. Well, I'll tell you for my se, like I'm about to publish my second book, and I'll tell you the first one was a nightmare. So I started by asking friends like, do you know an editor?
I know I need an editor. I mean, I'm I English. That wasn't my forte. I've fixed it and I've worked very hard on it. I know I need an editor, so a friend that was an author gave me the name of an incredible woman, and I love her. She's great, and she helped with that process. From there, I looked on the internet and I found some ladies that did interior designing, the formatting, the cover design, all that.
They were a nightmare to work with. It was, I just thought, oh my God. What am I going down the rabbit hole? You know, can you not get this right? And I kept paying more and more and more. And if you don't have the funds like that to pay, you're in trouble. Because you have to find what I learned from my second book.
I didn't know this from my first, I thought, I'm gonna self-publish. I'm gonna do this. I've load it on Amazon, I can do this. I don't need to go about trying to, everyone says, no, don't go find me a publisher. Don't go find me this. It's gonna be a nightmare. They'll change things. So. I didn't even consider that option from all the nightmare stories I heard, so I did it this way.
I spent a lot of money because of all the mistakes and then I liked, I love my finished product, I will say that, but the second experience has been much better. Mm-hmm. You know, I love my editor. I have an incredible interior designer and they are a book publishing house and distribution. Tetra House and Daniel and Matt, you guys I work with, they have been tremendous and they have.
Opened up that opportunity for self-published authors. They just started this texture house, which is. A combination of black ocean and not a cult. And they said, listen, we, we wanna bring in new authors that don't know what to do. And I said, well, I have one for you. You know, do this. And they do everything from start to finish and then get it a worldwide distribution.
So that was my problem with the first book. How do I get a worldwide distribution? I can't get a literary agent. You mean, you know, you read these things, I read a lot. So you need a literary agent to get to this publication. Like everything is a, an obstacle. And okay, well I can win awards. I can't get literary agent.
That's not gonna stop me. Like, I'm gonna keep on going because something's not adding up here. Like if my book was, you know, I don't wanna say the word, but how would I win? Awards like this isn't, yeah. He sense to me, I, I can't fit the pieces. Well, I think it was the name. Oops. Like big oops on my, everybody makes mistakes.
I don't have that part of the name in the second book. I will, but it has helped to have these guys. So you know, when you're lucky enough to find people that you can trust and rely on. That's what makes a difference. And that's what I would tell someone. I would say, if you wanna write a book, go with Tetra House.
They will take care of you from the beginning to the end, and it won't be, they're not at a high price. They're not at a low price, they're at the middle range, but you're gonna get what you paid for. They're gonna do something beautiful instead of. You know, oh boy. I'm telling you, you just don't wanna try anyone.
'cause these first ones, I thought, wait, okay, I'm an engineer. I'm not a writer. But this formatting looks really wrong to have this much space between, and then it starts on another page. Like, something's wrong here. But you don't know you, you think that when you put your trust in someone, they know they're not, you know, screwing you over.
And some people do take advantage of you. And when you don't know stuff. I don't wanna ever wanna be taken advantage of in the book world. And I hope that my advice to people, you know, they'll listen because boy, I wouldn't want them to go through what
I went through.
Well, and let's talk about the success your first book had. What success have you had and what surprised you about it?
Well, the success is, well, the awards. Definitely the awards. I thought, wow, really? I, I have to show I need to go back to high school and show my high school teacher what, right. You told me.
I didn't even know. Well, actually it was my college professor when I, that said, I didn't know what a topic sentence meant. I thought, really? I know what a topic sentence means. You're telling me that. So that was the biggest surprise. That was the biggest. When I still get the awards, I think, wow. I mean it, it feels so good.
So that was my biggest accomplishment. Mm-hmm. That awards by far, and just having a finished product. I look at my book every day and I. It's finished. My characters came to life, and that's what means the world to me. I think if I don't sell a book, you know, oh, well, I, I have people saying they love it. I have some validation, which makes me feel good, but in the end, I have a finished product, so it's amazing to me.
In this day and age, no, I didn't need a publishing house to gimme a finished product. I didn't need them to have to sign me on. I didn't need to go through all that rejection. Mm-hmm. I could still produce something myself. And that's the part I love the most, like actually seeing it, you're like, wow, feels good.
It's like remodeling a house where all of a sudden you're down to the stu and you're like, oh boy, this isn't looking too good. And at the end you think, wow, this is like better than my, what I envision.
And what are some of those awards for everyone listening?
Feathered qui, um, dragonfly, the Global ebook Awards.
Um, I dunno. I'd have to look at all of them. I don't, there's a whole American bookfest. There's a whole bunch I wish I knew off the back of my head. I don't. Um, but it helps authors, it helps promote your book, I would say. Definitely get your book in the book awards. Mm-hmm. Antoine, that was one I never expected.
'cause my editor said to me, listen, they have a long list. They have the slot. I think she calls it the slosh pile. You won't get through. You know, rarely do people get through that slosh pile. Then they go the long list. She goes, oh my God, you're on the long list. Then they go the short list. She. You made it to the shortlist.
She said, you're on the semifinals. I thought, okay, I'm happy. I'm at the semifinals. And she said, you're a finalist. And I thought, I'm down to 10. I didn't win, but I got to the finals and I thought, I'm good with being in the finals. I don't need to win. I'm just happy I made it into that group. So different things like that, I'd say I'm most proud of.
Mm-hmm. That I accomplished that. And I think I learned from the book, first book and what I needed to fix for the second book. Mm-hmm. And I think that helped me a lot, you know, because as a writer, when you're not taught or I, you know, and I'm, I would say I'm more self-taught. You know, I got a lot of self teach myself about what I wanted to do when I realized I wanted to write.
I didn't know what I was missing. Even my editor didn't know she loved my first book, what I was missing. But then when I saw my second one, I saw, okay, I need to catch 'em from the beginning, the first couple pages. 'cause clearly that's what I'm doing wrong with finding a literary agent. It's not catchy. It has to catch 'em within five pages.
And I thought. Wow. I didn't write, I've never read a book where it's caught me right away. Well, there's a couple. Mm-hmm. I'll say that. There are a couple where you, wow, okay. Oh my goodness. But very few. It's more you get in 50 pages and you really love the story, but they want it to catch you right away.
So I, I hooked in my hope with my second book. I got my first review, you know, the pre-review and it hooked her from the first page and I thought, thank you. I accomplished it. Mm-hmm. And I accomplished it being a standalone novel. So I thought, I don't want people to be forced to read the first one 'cause it is a sequel.
I want 'em to be able to read this and say, oh, I love it. I wanna go back and read the first one. Or, I'm just really happy reading this one. So I don't wanna force people to have to buy the other one.
Well, of course this is the Powerful Ladies podcast. So I'd love to know, when you hear the words powerful and ladies separately, what do those words mean to you?
And does their definition change when they're combined?
Hmm. I think stand up for yourself. Like, do what you want. Don't be told you can't do, because I think for women in general, we're told we can't do. So yeah, when I hear powerful, I think, oh, and what's a powerful lady? That's somebody that is running something or has accomplished something, and especially powerful lady, it's just somebody that's taken no BS that says, I'm gonna do, you're not gonna tell me what I can't do.
This is what I wanna do. I'll prove you wrong. I mean, I loved it when I heard your name. I thought, oh, this is incredible. I feel so honored to be on your show and this is great. I mean, you are a powerful woman and that's what's so amazing about you. And we are success, and I think that's what, and any woman would wanna be, they'd wanna be you.
They'd wanna have that power and that success and just that you did what you wanted in life. Yeah.
And, and who are the women in your life that have been powerful, ladies that have inspired and guided you along the way?
Definitely my grandmother and my mother. My grandmother, she is, well, she's a funny character.
She comes in, she's in all my books, but she definitely comes in more in my third book. And just in what she accomplished, she was a model and, but then when it came to World War ii, she became a fairy command pilot. So I thought, you know, wow. And she was an inventor and she had to raise kids herself, you know, when she divorced her husband.
And in those days that was unheard of. And she all of a sudden was raising three kids, well, four kids, and you know, it's that woman that can actually go into the working world do. And she said to me, never, never think you need a man. I didn't, then I found love again. 'cause you know, she loved this man when she was 18 and then it didn't work out because, you know, family said, oh, your family's not right.
You know, he came from a very wealthy family and said, well, you know, you're, we're not, you're not gonna be part of it. It was just, you know, mean stuff like that. And she said, I'm a powerful woman. I don't need you. And then one day years, when she was almost 50, she was walking down the street. I came in contact with him again and it was still love at first sight and things had changed.
Then he said my family was wrong, but that, and my mother too. My mom's always been just do what you want, push for what you want. And I think having that kind of support system of a mom in you and the believes in herself is the
well, and there's, I can't imagine going through life without the powerful ladies that I have on my squad.
See, 'cause they help you. It's that, it's a little circle of trust is, what is that movie? The ERs or whichever, the circle of trust. You gotta be in the, you have to have a support system behind you. Mm-hmm. And really succeed in life. I mean, find, some people don't have it and you don't need it and your support system within yourself, but it really does help to have
that support
system.
Mm-hmm.
People. And, and so after this, you know, journey that you've had that the arc that your books are kind of following. You are raising your nephew, you're writing your third book about to publish your second. Um, where is your life today versus when this journey started for you and, and what are you most proud of achieving in that time?
My life's stable. I feel very happy and at peace. You know, I don't have anyone in my life, like I'm not married, I don't have a boyfriend, but I feel just at peace and I feel just secure and happy and fulfilled like I feel fulfilled. Being a mother, I never thought I would be a mother. I feel fulfilled with my writing.
I know that this is what, this is the journey I'm supposed to be on. This is what my life was meant to be. And weirdly enough, which people don't believe in psychics, I really believe in psychics. Um, we, we had a friend that was a healer and a psychic, and the, he would come out his hands and he would heal cancer and different things.
And he predicted things happening. And he said, long time ago, I, gosh, it was a teenager, you are gonna write books. And I thought, no, I'm not like Uhhuh, I'm gonna be an engineer. Like, I didn't even think about it. But when I think about it now, I'm like. Like, how'd you know that? It could never cross my mind.
But that's, I think part, I just, I don't need a man. I would love a husband. I would love a partner to share my life with and grow old with, and create the memories that my parents have. I love that, but I don't need it anymore, and I'm not looking for it anymore. Mm-hmm. And I, I have kind of a peace at that.
Since I had it, I did that. It's like been there, done that with the engagement and everything. So now I'm like, okay, I don't have that box to tick. I did it now I want love. I want somebody that truly loves and I have a little guy that truly loves me. So I think I have this little kid that just, he's wonderful because I love and parents and I just, I feel Set.
Yeah.
Yeah. Well, and for everyone who's listening and not watching, like, you're beautiful, right? And the fact that someone flew to Paris just to have an flew from Paris just to have an affair with you. I'm like, of course. Like, why? Of course, that's what someone like you has causes to happen. Um, so you must feel a little good that you're like, well, he flew all this way just for me.
Yeah, I,
yeah.
Oh, okay. Yeah. I'm honored and disappointed at the same time. Thank you.
So we ask everybody on the show where you put yourself on the Powerful Lady Scale. If you know zero is the average everyday human and 10 is the most powerful lady possible, where would you put yourself today and where do you think you put yourself on average?
Wow, that's a good question. I don't look at myself.
I mean, I look at myself as. Breaking the boundaries of what I wanted to achieve. I don't know if I look at myself as a powerful, powerful lady, so I'd say like a three. 10 because you know there's rock stars like you that have done so much, so Yeah, like a three, four, I think. Okay. I did it. I don't think I'm at the 10 level, but I did it.
And then maybe one day I'll be at the 10 level as I keep achieving. Mm-hmm. So I don't wanna, I don't wanna limit myself. I wanna think I can be more powerful. I can keep on going up that scale and every day will get better as I create. That's what I hope for.
And when you're not writing, what are you doing?
What is, what are your days and weeks? So when you're not writing and when you're not teaching third grade and you're not being a mom to your nephew, what does the rest of your life look like?
I play a lot of tennis and golf. I play a lot of tennis in golf. I love golf. I'm not good at golf at all. I look at it as a social thing where we're driving around the carts and eat lunch and have fun, and tennis just kind of gets out the stress.
'cause you can whack that ball and it doesn't matter. 'cause boy, if you try to get out the stress and golf, it's like, wow, I can't hit a ball. I like to build things like I built a chicken coop, which wow, this is pretty cool. So I like to build things in garden and I just, I like to read. I read a lot. I love me too.
You get lost in a story and all of a sudden, whatever you're, I don't like to watch the news because it's just too depressing, but all, and I do watch it, but then I think, oh boy, I don't feel so good right now. And then when you read a book, you just, you're trapped in this incredible story of what's gonna happen next.
And I love, but mostly I love, I do love getting out, so I love to go play tennis and golf and just enjoy and laugh with friends. Mm-hmm. It's been a little harder now, but still we get to get out.
Yes. Uh, well, for everyone who wants to get your book, buy your book, read your book, where can they find and follow you and all the things so that they can support you?
Oh, right now it's on amazon.com, life, life in the Chastity Zone, Holly, Brandon. And it's on Barnes and Noble. And soon with Tetra House, which I'll then. On my link, on my Instagram, on my website, all that information, but it's Instagram is at Holly, at author Holly Brandon, and then my website's Holly or.
Perfect. So for everyone who's listening, who, you know, there's so many great parts of your story that I think are, are exactly what someone needed to hear right now. Whether it's, you know, choosing love for the right reasons, whether it's making a huge career pivot from engineering to becoming an author, whether it is, you know, using what you've gone through to tell a story and, and share that with somebody else.
You know, where, where do you wanna leave everyone who's listening and. Going through what you've gone through on your own journey,
that if you, you know if, I hate to use this word, but if shit hits the fan and you think your life is your dad in the dumps and nothing good will come, that is not true. You dig yourself up and good will happen.
Like no guy can define you. Nobody can define you. Nobody can tell you what to do, and the bad happens and the good will happen if you choose it. You choose your journey. Today is a new day. Write your own story, like forget about yesterday in yesterday's history. Just take out a piece of paper, write your own story.
Say what you wanna do, because nothing's stopping you. Do it. Who's stopping you? No one can stop you from doing it, but yourself. And just little by little, taking steps and chipping away. It's like peeling the orange back. There's so many layers or onion back that's better. There's so many layers to an onion.
Just keep peeling about it, back whittle away, and eventually you'll get there. And I hope I make everybody laugh. Like that's my goal when I write. It's to relieve the stress. Like, so when people read my books, I hope they laugh and they think, wow, she really went through hell. But this is really funny. And it gave me a good laugh because that's, that's what I'm trying to accomplish.
I'm trying to make people laugh and see. You know, hell, it's not really hell. You can people go through worse than you do and they still come out okay and smiling. Smiling, oh, I love the smile. I'm very happy. But there are days when I'm not, so, yes, that's key. I really wanna make people smile. Mm-hmm.
Well, in our community of powerful ladies around the world, it's very powerful.
And so I always wanna ask people as well, is there something that you need or that you're looking for that maybe this community might have?
Oh, that's a good one. Just to tell your friends about the book. Tell you know, that's the thing. Spreading the word. I haven't learned. I'm not a marketer. I did hire a wonderful PR girl, Natasha.
I just don't know how to spread the word. So if you could spread the word, it would help me tremendously.
Yeah, so, well, I love that. Um, your story's incredible. The, um, how you've, you know, triumphed over what's happened to you in your life and continue to smile and go forward and live the life you want is so inspiring.
And so thank you for being a yes. Thank you for sharing your story, and I can't wait to see what happens for you next. Thank you, Kara. Thank you for having me on. This
has been so much
fun.
Thank you for listening to today's episode. All the links to connect with Holly are in our show notes@thepowerfulladies.com slash podcast. There you can also leave comments and ask questions about this episode. Want more powerful? Ladies, come join us on Instagram at Powerful Ladies, where you can also find some free downloads to start being powerful today.
Subscribe to this podcast and help us connect with more listeners like you by leaving us a five star rating and review. If you're looking to connect directly with me, visit kara duffy.com or join me on Instagram at Kara Duffy. I'd like to thank our producer, composer, and audio engineer Jordan Duffy.
Without her, this wouldn't be possible. You can follow her on Instagram at Jordan K. Duffy. We will be back next week with a brand new episode. Until then, I hope for being powerful in your life. Go be awesome and up to something you love.
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Episode 325: What If Love Is the Only Answer? | Hillary Whittington | Author, Transgender Advocate, and Mother
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Website: www.authorhollybrandon.com
Email: hollybrandon48@gmail.com
Created and hosted by Kara Duffy
Audio Engineering & Editing by Jordan Duffy
Production by Amanda Kass
Graphic design by Anna Olinova
Music by Joakim Karud
