Episode 156: From Haiti to Barcelona: A Powerful Mother–Daughter Adoption Story with Gemi & Ili Bertran
Adoption can change more than one life. For Gemi and Ili Bertran, it transformed an entire family. Gemi was born in Haiti and adopted as a child by Ili, who brought her to Barcelona. Their journey together has been shaped by love, identity, resilience, and the challenges of bridging cultures. In this conversation, they open up about the realities of international adoption, the work it takes to nurture trust, and how they’ve navigated questions of heritage and belonging. It’s a story about family in all its forms, the power of listening, and what it really means to grow together.
“From my mom, I learned to be a fighter. If you want something in your life you keep going forward and forward.”
“My daughter inspires me to be better. I want her to have a mirror where she can see herself and say “i have that, too”. I’m a single mother of two. Giving up is not an option.”
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Follow along using the Transcript
Chapters:
00:00 A mother–daughter story begins
01:30 Growing up in Haiti
04:15 The path to adoption in Barcelona
07:20 Adjusting to a new culture
09:45 Building trust across differences
12:00 Answering questions about identity
14:30 The role of heritage in family life
17:15 Navigating cultural misunderstandings
19:50 Lessons learned from each other
22:00 Finding belonging in two places
24:40 Motherhood across cultures
27:15 Advice for adoptive parents and adoptees
29:30 Why listening matters most
And my biological mother, I think that she came once a week to see me. I don't know what I was thinking, uh, in that time. Mm-hmm. I mean, everything was so confusing and just, I was at home with my parents and my siblings and another
day I was salon. That's Gem and Ila Bertran, and this is The Powerful Ladies Podcast.
Hey guys, I'm Kara Duffy, a business coach and entrepreneur on a mission to help you live your most extraordinary life by showing you that anything is possible. People who have mastered freedom, ease, and success. Sweet who are living their best and most ridiculous lives, and who are changing the world.
Are often people you've never heard of until now. One of the most impactful podcasts I recorded in 2021 was episode number 1 29 with Jimmy Tron. I was so impressed and inspired by Jimmy as a human, and my heart was so inspired by her powerful and thrilling story of her daughter's adoption story. It happened in Haiti during the coup that required a helicopter evacuation.
Really, you have to go back and listen to that episode. I knew she was someone I wanna have back on the podcast, and today I'm super honored to have her and her daughter ili join us. ILI joined us from Barcelona, which is where she lives, and at moments in this episode, you'll hear Jimmy translating. It can be nerve wracking enough to be on a podcast.
Let alone on a podcast not in your mother tongue. So extra cheers for Ellie for being a yes to all of that. In this episode, we go back to the adoption story, what it was like transitioning to a new country and a new family for ili, how they inspired each other and the challenges that they face being pioneers in both of their own respects.
As always, you can leave comments or questions about this episode@thepowerfulladies.com slash podcast, and I hope you enjoy this episode.
Well, I'm so honored that I get to hang out with you again, Jimmy, and with your daughter, who we talked very briefly about on your. First podcast, uh, with us. Um, but how are you?
Oh, Kara, I am fabulous and I am super excited that you invited us, and it is a pleasure to do this, to have this experience with Hily
and,
um, just, you know, I'm very proud Mama.
Perfect. Uh, so anyone who hasn't listened to that episode yet, let's just give them a quick intro of who you are and where you are in the world. And we'll start with you, Jimmy. Mm-hmm.
Well, I'm Jamie Bertran. I'm the CEO and founder at Nourish Brain Institute and the Brain and Behavior Coach Academy. I am originally from Barcelona and I moved to United States.
Uh, and my first, um, opportunity for, uh, business. It was, um, being a director for a mental and behavioral health facility here. And, uh, since many years ago, I had a massive brain breakdown and I learned how to put my brain back together, uh, through nutrition and the signs of the mind. I tried to implement these in a regular behavioral health practice.
Um, they were not so open to that, so I decided to create my own business on that, and here I am today. Right.
Yes. And, um, I'll put in the show notes the link to your original episode so everyone can hear it. It's one of my favorite ones. Okay. Um, yeah, of course. Like learn so much great conversation and just hearing how amazing you are.
Um, and in that episode we talked about your journey to adopt your daughter, who I'm so happy is here today. Um, so ili, please introduce yourself. Um, who are you, where are you and what are you up to? Hello. Well,
my name is Julie. Uh, I'm living in Barcelona and I'm studying, uh, product designer design. Mm-hmm.
And well, well, I'm living the life
you are. I wish I was back in uni living in Barcelona. That sounds magical to me. What type of product designer do you wanna be?
Don't know yet. I, I dunno. But she has. But
I
like,
she, she, she did create a really awesome project for college. Um, you wanna talk about the
Yes.
My last was, uh, uh, sunglasses. Mm-hmm. Uh, that you have for days and you, you can put insects on it. Cool. Yeah, it was a collection. Yeah.
Awesome. All right, well, let me know when you're looking for internships, 'cause I'm, I have a few connections in Europe that might be fruitful for you. Yeah. Oh, that's awesome.
Thank you.
Yeah, he's interested on that.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah. No, I spent 20 years working in product creation and I lived in Germany for a while, working for Puma. And have, so there's a big European network of all the people making products, sunglasses, footwear, you name it. So, mm-hmm.
Oh really? That's awesome connection.
What about that? So yeah, she created this really cool sunglasses, if you wanna see the project that she can send it to you. I'm just, yeah,
I can do it.
Sales pitch right here. But I love it. It's really cool because she created these sunglasses that have a base. And then you with the magnet, you change the design from the outside and it's an insect collection, so there is ants and butterflies and Cool.
Yeah, that's pretty cool.
It sounds like you would be a perfect kids designer. I worked in kids products for a long time and it was so fun. Because you could do all those cool things and the details, and kids see it. Or often adults don't even notice and you're like, Ugh, I worked so hard on that. You didn't even say anything.
And I, I was with the design, I, I was spending eight hours doing little. And everyone just like, oh wow, this
is really cool. Yeah. Well, I would love to kind of give people a little bit of that foundational story of what it was like for you to find your daughter. It was so inspiring to me. Um, I had never thought, I know that I want, um, kids and I want multiple kids, and I love the idea that there are kids out there waiting for me to be their mom that I just haven't met yet.
And I've really kept that story in my heart since we first talked. So if we could just give a summary of, of what that experience was like and what drove you to it, and how you finally got to meet your daughter.
Yeah. Well, I was a single mother and I had Paul, my son, my oldest son, and I always wanted a daughter.
Mm-hmm.
And um, you know, like in Spain at that time, there is all these. Uh, regulations about adoption countries that you can adopt countries, but it is very, it was very limited at that time as a single mother to be able to adopt. Mm-hmm. You know, like anywhere, like mm-hmm. Very few children, you know, at the, uh, available for adoption in the country.
Mm-hmm. Uh, at that time in Spain, they, they, they didn't even allow to fully adopt. You had to foster. Mm-hmm. And the parent could anytime claim the kid and they So scary. Exactly right. Like, I, that was, that was like really weird. So anyways, so that was the reason why I decided to do. Right. Mm-hmm. Like abroad adoption.
Um, I didn't know where to go because you know, like there is so many countries, but all of them had a problem with being a single doc, a single mom.
Mm-hmm.
Like I wasn't married, you know, like you have to be a specific, you know, like Catholic or Christian or you know, like most of the orphanages in different countries are religion driven.
Mm-hmm.
Not that I have a problem with that, but they seem to have a problem with me being a single, single woman with already a kid. Right? Mm-hmm. So. Um, Haiti was one of the things, one of the countries that had more, uh, ease into, uh, this into women, single women, single parents adopt in Haiti, and, and I decided to start there.
And they had a console in Barcelona. And, uh, the council secretary was really, it was a lawyer and really easy to work with them. Like they facilitated, they made things easy. They introduced me to people. I mean, like, it was easy to work with them. Um, the reason why it was easy. It is because Ely was meant to be my daughter.
Yeah. There is no is, there is no such a thing as ease in adoption. It always, you know, like bureaucracy gets on the way of people getting the dream they won, right? Mm-hmm. So the reason why it was easy is because ILI was out there in the universe already calling. Right. So that the connection was already made.
It's just we didn't know.
Mm-hmm. Right. I did you know that you were, you were manifesting your mother. Yeah.
She always is saying that.
I'm really happy because I mean, it's uh, great, very happy history and yeah, she give the opportunity to have a better life. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And she give, uh, incredible family and yeah, they love me so much and I love them. Yeah.
Well, I have to say that ili, if you don't get along with ili, there is something wrong with you 100%.
Because ILI is so easy going, like there is no nobody in the world that makes life easier than ili. Like she's always ready to help. Always grateful. Never one problem. Never. Like she's the dream kid. I mean, seriously,
that's That's so easy. Yeah, because when, when you guys met and became mother and daughter, were you five Ilie?
Six. Six. Okay. So, you know, when you think back to being six, you know, how was life different before you met your mom to after?
I almost, I don't remember mostly all the thing that I was in the Orphan, orphan Orphan. Mm-hmm. Orphan. But I mean, I, I know how much time I was there and.
I was very hungry. Yeah. And very small. And I remember when they gave me a photograph of my mother and I was just going to the, with the photo and saying, this is gonna be my mother. My mother and all the kids was really happy for that. And I remember the day that he, she arrived. I was sitting in the school and just, they come and they dress me and I met her.
Yeah. It's
like, it's such a crazy thing to me, right? Because I've never had an experience where I had to meet my mother. She was just there the whole time. Whether I liked her, didn't like her, wanted her, didn't want her. She was just there. Right. And I love my mother. She's lovely. But the whole idea of like.
How cool to have an experience where you get to meet your mother. Right? Like not everybody gets that opportunity and to, to know that she's coming and like, what did a mother mean to you before you had one? Like what did you imagine a mother meant? Yeah.
She's not understanding. Hold on one second. Yeah.
Uh, I mean, I, I remember when I was in there, or.
My biological mother, I think that she came once a week or I dunno, to see me. Mm-hmm. And.
I don't know what I was thinking, uh, in that time. Mm-hmm. I mean, everything was so confusing and just I was at home with my parents and my siblings and another day I was alone. Mm-hmm. Just that. Okay. Yeah. Crazy.
Can.
No, you're at home
with your family and all of a sudden they take you away and you are not coming back.
I can't, I just can't imagine it. Mm-hmm. It's,
it's, it's hard. I mean, it's heartbreaking.
Yeah. Yeah. So I, I, I mean, I would imagine that if you knew who your biological mother was and then she put you into the orphanage and then you were waiting for another one. Were you nervous about? Like, would your new mother be awesome or were you like, were you like, I don't know.
We'll see what this mother thing is like. Uh, I
think that the thing was that I'm just gonna go out there and new life. Mm-hmm. And this is, this is because the important thing. Well,
I just, I'm so impressed at how hopeful you were. And how trusting, you know, like when you saw your mom's picture, were you like, okay, that's it.
Yes, I approve. Was it that quick? Yeah. Yeah. In life, I'm, I'm like, yes.
I love that. I love that you saw the picture. You're like, yep, that's my mom. I'm ready when she's showing up. It's so wild. So. So we shared on the first episode how it became an adventure and almost like a, a thriller movie for you to, for you Jimmy, to go into Haiti to get ILI and to like get out because there was a coup happening at the time and everyone has to go back and listen to the episode because your chin will be on the floor when we, that whole, um, story is being told.
Like, what happened after that? Like, so you got back to Spain and then, and then what, like how does, how do you integrate a brand new child into life?
I mean, um, the beginning wasn't easy because when you, when you have, um, I mean, first of all, there is a very important thing. One is, um. My mission, it was to get my daughter.
Mm-hmm.
Right? Like, I am there. I don't know what I'm gonna, I mean, when I'm gonna be done.
Mm-hmm.
But I am not leaving Haiti without her no matter what. Yeah. Right. Like that was, that was the mission. It didn't take many days. It took like around a week. Um, the one thing that it, the one thing that was. Very shocking to me.
It was the, uh, right at the second that she sat on the plane from Dominican Republic to Madrid, because we flew to Madrid. She cried the whole flight nonstop until she cried herself to sleep. Wow. Yeah. So for whatever reason, even we couldn't communicate because. I wasn't talking Creole, she wasn't talking any language.
Mm-hmm. Besides that one. Um, she knew that she was living for good.
Mm-hmm.
Right. And I didn't know how, um, how much did she know? I didn't know because I didn't talk to anybody to say, oh no, she knows this, that, no, they got her, they grabbed her, they threw her to me.
Mm-hmm.
And then we spend the next five or six days attached to each other because we were physically attached to each other, and that was it.
Mm-hmm. So when we came back home and, and, um. We had to live, live our lives. I mean, the first thing it was to escape the press because mm-hmm. My family was persecuted by the press when we were coming back. Mm-hmm. Where I was coming back because they wanted to be there, so they had to kind orchestrate a whole deal because I did not want them there.
My daughter's privacy for me was very important and safety. I didn't want the whole thing to become a show. Um, and we got to the airport, my family, everybody was there cheering for her. Super excited. Uh, and then we went home and all I can remember is when I hit home, there was a party to welcome us. I fell asleep on the couch and I think I slept until the next day.
Like I did, I don't remember anything. Like I, I brought this girl all, the whole thing that the only person that she knew was me. I was passed out, I couldn't, yeah. I couldn't be there for her because I, I was, you know, like exhausted, right? Mm-hmm. So, um, and then the days to come, you know, like you just have to make your life like, as normal as possible.
Mm-hmm.
My son was super jealous, like in the, in the beginning he was kinda excited, right? Yeah. Like, oh, he's new, a new toy. You know, like it is. Somebody to play with. And then he got really jealous, which is normal, right? Like he was a single child and then all of a sudden he has to share and she takes a lot of attention.
And the reason is because she's super cute. She's such a good girl.
Yeah.
Right? And, and she was the only black kid in our town. So everybody knew her. Yeah. I like everybody was saying things with talking to her and saying, you know, because she's just the sweetest thing in the whole world. So it is, you know, like there was a period of adjustment.
Yeah. It was not easy p but it wasn't also anything dramatic, you know? Right.
Yep. Sa, you know, ha, half of it's the same as if, um, there is a any other new child, right. That goes through. Yeah. And then were you nervous bringing, uh, bringing a black daughter home where she would stand out? Or were you like, that's it, we're breaking all the rules.
It's gonna be fun. I can't wait.
No, never, never crossed my mind. Like we mm-hmm. We don't have, I mean, first of all, we don't have. A background in slavery in Europe. Right, right. Like in Spain, we don't have that. I'm not saying there is no racism, there is racism, but I, I was, that thing didn't even cross my mind.
It was not a thing. Yeah. Right. Like I remember like there is a conversation. On a Sunday lunch on the table when LY was speaking. Perfect. Catalan already, but she was like maybe a year. In the country and we were talking about, you know, like children resembling me or my brother, or my dad or my mom, you know, and ly all of a sudden like, ah, nobody's, you know, like, because of course, so ly all of a sudden jumps and she says, I look more my, my, like my uncle, my brother, because we both have longer hair.
I love that Ilie. Yes.
So she, he saw like, she didn't even see the color. Like the color was not No. You know, like I know I look more like my uncle because we both have longer face. That was the thing.
Amazing. I love that. Well, and I think what's so amazing too, with the nature versus nurture, how sim, how easy it is to look like the people around you, even if you don't share a single piece of DNA.
Mm-hmm.
Same facial expression, same reaction. And I remember you said in the, in the, your previous episode that your son came from your womb, but your daughter came from your heart.
Which I
thought was so touching. Mm-hmm. And how are you guys alike today?
Uh, alike. Yeah. How are we alike? I don't know. Ili, what do you think that we'll do?
We are alike and what, what, what are the things that we do similar or we do the same.
I think, I think one thing is we both are very healthy ears.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Right. We are very healthy ears. Uh, she made a lot of fun of me in the past, but she is becoming really, really healthy. So I guess that comes from me. Yeah. Part, right? Yeah. What else? What do you, what do you think that you do? I think she's really, she is really driven.
Mm-hmm. Like she's really going after something bigger and better.
Yeah. Do you
think that's,
I learned that from the new,
yeah. Yeah. What else have you learned from your mom? Uh,
she is, uh.
A fighter. She's a fighter. And yes, she just move on. Uh, she, if she have a problem or anything, she just, she just go for through that. Mm-hmm. And if she wants something, she just keep going. Keep going. She never look back. Yeah. Yeah. And how does it, and this is important in life, you have to live the life like that.
Yeah.
How does your mom inspire you?
I mean, yeah. I, I try to like the life alive. Similar like her. But yeah, she is just having a wonderful life and she's really happy and she just, uh, watch the positive things in the life. Mm-hmm. And not negative. And this is really important and I like that view of the life. Yeah.
Yeah. And as you've gotten older, have you, have you met and made more friends who have also been adopted and also come from outside of Catalonia, or are you, do you find yourself being like the only one who's adopted in your circle still?
In my circle. Yeah. I think that, yes. I'm the only one that, yeah, that
the only special one.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Very special
one. Yes. Yeah. Um, what's inspired you, Jimmy, about your daughter?
I mean, two, first of all is the ease that she. She found her way inside our family, like she never, um, she stole everybody's heart, like from the get go, not even speaking the language.
Right? Yeah. Like how do you do that? I
know. I would like that skill.
Like how do you stole everybody's heart without saying a word?
Mm-hmm.
That's one thing. Um, the other thing is to me, my daughter inspires me to do that, to be better.
Mm-hmm.
Because I want her to have a mirror where, you know, like she can see herself and say, I, I am, I, I am that too.
Mm-hmm. And,
and, and that pushes you, you know, like without pressure, but it pushes you to wanna do better. I mean, like, for me, giving up is not an option. Yeah. You know, I am a single mother of two and giving up is not an option.
Mm-hmm. Are, are, are both of your kids in Spain currently? Yeah. And, and how hard or easy was the choice for you to come to la?
Not easy. Yeah.
There was, uh, I mean, it wasn't easy. It was, um.
It was a thought out, uh, uh, decision that I made. Mm-hmm. And I, uh, and also it was concentrated with the whole family because everybody had to step in, right? Like mm-hmm. My mom, my brother, my son, like my friends, my best friends are there for my children. Mm-hmm. Anytime they need to,
right? Yeah.
So it, it wasn't, it wasn't like a lie decision.
But it was, uh, consensual and everybody was super happy that they could do that and mm-hmm. They all knew that that was going to better the family. Mm-hmm. The entire family. Right. Yeah. That's what came, because otherwise it would not have come.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How often do you guys get to see each other?
Well, that's the thing. COVID, COVID didn't make things easy. Yeah, right. Uh, usually twice a year at least. Yeah. Because usually comes during the summer and then I go for Christmas.
Mm-hmm.
Um, I mean, like since COVID we couldn't do that. Right. Yeah. Last time they came, and I say they, because my brother came with her, I think it was 2019, summer 2019.
Yeah. And then in December I didn't go because I made the decision not to go. My plan was going to, that year I wanted to go in March.
Mm-hmm.
Then COVID hit.
Yeah,
and, and since then, but next week my brother is coming.
Nice.
Yeah. So, um, that's the other thing, right? Like we, they had to get vaccinated, so, so they could come because otherwise they couldn't.
Mm-hmm. So what, what's on the, what's on the schedule for you guys to meet up next? This
summer. It least coming this summer for sure.
Nice. All right. Well, I'm gonna self invite myself to come say hi when you're here, ly.
Oh, yeah. Okay. Yes, absolutely.
Yeah. Mm-hmm. So one thing that I, I continue to think is so inspiring about, um, the story that both of you share.
Is that it really is a modern example of motherhood and the mother to daughter relationship and how it's evolving in a global world. You know, there's um, a lot of articles talking about kids who grew up in a whole bunch of countries where they don't, they relate more internationally than to a specific country, but they don't talk a lot about how many mothers have to.
Or choose to go abroad so that they can take care of their families. Mm-hmm. Um, how has it been to be a trailblazer in that space and have there been people that you can look up to who are doing the same thing?
Well, I don't know many people that has done the same thing mm-hmm. The way that we do it. Right? Yeah. Um, like my family back home, we are a tribe. Like, we don't do things individually. Yeah. We don't, we do all together or we don't do it all together. Right. Like we make financial decisions together. We make work decisions together.
We, my brother and I, we, we do things together. I mean like mm-hmm. There is no question because for us, the family is what's important. Yeah. Right. And we make decisions on behalf of the wellbeing of everybody there. Right. Um, I don't know many people. I'm sure there is tons of women in the world that do the same.
I just don't know them. So I, I don't have, you know, like a reference point where I can say, oh, somebody did this. I think I will do that. Yeah. I can, I go with the flow. I work a lot. I'm very busy. Mm-hmm. Um, but. You know, like we talk in the daily basis. Like I see them every day. Yeah. Every day for the most part.
So it is, you know, like you miss them. I miss hugging them. Yeah. I miss hugging them. Mm-hmm. But I, I know they are fine all the time. Yeah. I see them every day. So, you know, technology is good for that reason.
Yeah. Well, I'm sure it also helps that you know, that um, even if they're half as strong as you, they're fine.
Yeah.
No, my children were raised to be strong. These kids are resilient. Like both of them are strong, responsible, smart. They, they are people. I mean, they are good people all around. And I am, I have no shade of doubt that both of them are going to be very successful no matter what they choose to do in life.
Yeah.
No matter.
Yeah. So, ili, what is your, what is your day-to-day like? I'm sure you have lots of classes, like what are you doing all day long?
Uh, right now I'm just po proposing my health. Yeah,
I had a health problem. Lemme interrupt. Yes. We were very worried. Mm-hmm. Um, I don't know if you wanna talk a little bit about that.
Let see.
Do you want, you wanna talk about that, Kara?
Sure. Yeah. I wanna hear about, I Italy's real life, so Yeah. If it's real, let's talk about it. It is real.
Uh, my mother, she's gonna explain it better than me. Yeah, it's really complicated.
Yeah. This is, this is health. Health terms is more my thing.
I understand in German, I can't do technology or medical, it'd be very messy.
Messy. So, um. So ili, uh, start, her health started deteriorating. Mm-hmm. And she wasn't feeling well, and we got blood drawn.
And it turns out that she had ovarian cysts and, and polyps and the cancer marker markers are very high. So we were very, very worried
mm-hmm.
About ovarian cancer. Um, it turned out that she has endometriosis, which unfortunately is too common in black women. Uh, black women have twice as much endometriosis than white women.
Um. The difference between Europe and, and United States on behalf of black women with endometriosis, without getting to politic here. Mm-hmm. Um, I wanna mention that because it's worth to raise awareness is United States had for too long the custom abdu, um, um. A full, like a hysterectomy. It's a full hysterectomy.
Mm-hmm.
So black women couldn't have children. It's horrible. Yes. So that was a thing in United States for the longest time. I mean, I don't think that is not happening so much, but it is being a thing in United States. Uh, for us in Europe. Uh, doctors have tried everything. In order not to do any surgery.
Mm-hmm.
But she has horrible, horrible pain. Um, yeah, she had really bad anemia. Um, and, uh, surgery is not off the table because they are trying to, um, save her ex. Mm-hmm. Because she's really young. Most likely she will have to have surgery because the endometriosis is so bad that they are, they are fear.
They fear that it's going to be attached to her bowels.
Mm-hmm.
And then it's gonna be a massive problem.
Yeah. No, it, it's, it's something that doesn't get talked about enough. Um, I have two clients who struggle with it, and. You know, there's so many things that as women, we struggle with anyway, and then as entrepreneurs we struggle with on top of it or career women, and then to have that be so debilitating on top of it, it's frustrating.
Very much because, you know, I can only imagine for you ili, where you're like, I've got things to do, things I want to do, like make this go away so I can get back to my life and mm-hmm. Um, so my heart goes out to you that that's what you've been dealing with. Um, are you feeling better right now? Yes,
I am.
Yeah. I'm talking with the doctors and having a, a good, uh, nutrition. And we are just keep going with that. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
So we are using all homeopathy and nutrition and functional doctors and, uh, she's doing really well. Mm-hmm. Um, but yeah, this year is been focused, basically she's been just taking care of herself because it got really bad, like she could not get out of bed.
To do anything like
mm-hmm.
School, not nothing.
Yep.
So it, it, it got really, really scary for a second.
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yep. Yeah, that is really scary. And in, in Spain is, is homeopathic and functional medicine more available and more respected, or like, how does it compare to, to the US from your experience?
I think that is, I mean, I, I think it's, it is.
More or less the same. Mm-hmm. Unfortunately, it's private. You have to go private, you know, like to pay out of the pocket all the time.
Mm-hmm.
Um, so that, you know, like the government doesn't pay for that. Um, but I, I would say that we have a fair amount. Um, functional medicine there. Mm-hmm. And, uh, unfortunately we had to, uh, you know, hit that road before my dad had cancer and died with cancer.
And we do, we did for the most part. Um, we deal with it, you know, like holistically. Mm-hmm. So we, we know we are familiar with this. I practice that all the time. So it's just, you know, like it's what we do. Yeah. Uh, but I guess, you know, like I would say not enough in either country.
Yeah. Yeah. Agree. So, now that you're feeling better, Ellie, what are you, what are you doing?
How are you spending your time when you're feeling better?
When I'm feeling better, uh, I am with the sunglasses project. And spending time with friends and I really like, uh, read books. Me too.
Yeah. She's an avid reader. I mean, like she reads all the time to the point that my mom would say, I don't know how she can read so much.
She reads, this is not good.
Yeah. This is not good. Yes, I understand. Mm-hmm. Do you use the app? Uh, Goodreads. Do you have that in Spain? Uh, no. I'm just, uh,
buying an eBooks. Yeah. Or dolo. Um, Deloitte from internet.
Yeah. I love the Goodreads app because it lets you track the books you read. And so whenever I need to remember like, oh, what was that book called?
So I can share it with somebody. I can go and look. And I've been tracking my book since 2006 in there. Oh wow. Wow. Yeah. And every year you can set a new score of how many books do you wanna read? And I get very competitive at the end of the year. Like, I gotta hit my number. That's
how many books you can read in a year.
Um, I did 35 last year.
Wow.
Thank you. I'm sure I'm, I'm slower than you are, I imagine.
No,
yeah. But I do both audio and I, and I also read the hard copies, so when I, I go for walks and I'll be listening, or if I'm like doing my workout, I'll listen and then I like reading before I go to bed at night. It helps me relax.
Hmm.
Yeah. Mm-hmm. Me too.
Yeah. Um. So, and then Jimmy, but about you. Right. Because, you know, living, living abroad and living away from my family and a lot of friends often and getting repeatedly, um, what I find so shocking is that sometimes it feels like we live down the street from them and sometimes it feels like, oh wow, we really are on the other side of the world.
And that's something that I don't, I think people understand until they've done it. Because on a day-to-day level, if someone doesn't live in the house with you, it doesn't really matter where you live. Like your routine is the same. Um, so what does your routine look like? And, um, you mentioned, you know, doing calls and zooms and stuff with them, but what are you doing to stay close with everyone in Spain?
Um, well, I make sure that I, I mean, I talk to them, right? Mm-hmm. Like we talk every day for the most part. For the most part with ili. My brother, my son is more busy. He is a busy bee. Yeah. And it's, it's difficult to catch him. It's like is is busy as a bee and fast as a bee. He's like really quick conversations and not, not every day.
He's like not so much in, he's not into into technology. He's a very outdoorsy guy. So it's not so much into technology, but I do talk to I, my brother and my mom almost on a daily basis with my friends. Uh, not that often, but at least once a week we do hit each other. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So yeah, we, we stay in touch, um, with other people that I grew up once in a while, like when we have birthdays or when it's Christmas mm-hmm.
We send a message. Right. Yeah. Okay. Remember me still alive. Um, so yeah, I mean, like last year, um, last year I turned 50 in September. Congratulations. Thank you. Um, and Ely put together an awesome video about a whole bunch of people from thousand years ago that I like, I haven't seen for so many years. Some people I haven't seen since we were children.
Like children. Children, right. And, but we, we have stayed in touch and, um, and everybody was there, like so many people and it was really cool. So I guess in a way, you know, like you still touch their lives.
Mm-hmm. Love that. Well, um, we ask everybody on the podcast where they put themselves in the powerful lady scale.
So I'm gonna start with, with you, ili. On a scale of zero to 10, zero is, um, an average everyday human and 10 is the most powerful lady you can imagine, where would you put yourself on that scale?
Uh, for the moment, I am, I think at seven. I like it. I have a lot of way to work and I am, in 10 years I will be in 10.
Yeah.
I like it. And what does 10 years from now look like for you?
I wanna make a lot of money.
Yeah. And I.
Yes. And I would like to have childrens. Mm-hmm. And then 10 years, I hope, I hope that I could do that and travel a
lot. Yeah.
Yes.
And are you inspired by your mom to, to adopt as well? Or how do you, would you do it also?
Uh, I'm adopted and I, I wouldn't, I don't have any problem with that, but mm-hmm. I mean, I don't have, I have a family, but this thing that I, I don't know someone, I don't know how to explain, but have this connect.
I wanna have this connection mm-hmm. For living that experience. I mean, maybe I can adopt, I can adopt, yes, of course. But I want at least one child. I wanna be my,
yeah.
Yes.
To have to have someone who shares the DNA, right? Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
Mm-hmm. Exactly.
Yeah. And Jamie, how are you feeling on the scale? Where would you put yourself today
as a powerful woman?
Yes.
If you would've asked me a month ago, I probably would've scored better. Now I feel a little bit more, um,
like sometimes when you grow. Mm-hmm. And you have ex expand yourself. And you are not in that comfort zone. Yes. You are still adjusting to the discomfort.
Mm-hmm.
Recently, I, I grew a lot. I am into new projects mm-hmm. That are very enriching in all levels, um, but are still very uncomfortable.
Mm-hmm.
So I'm still catching up.
That's what I'm saying. I would say probably. Um, from somebody else's eyes much higher. Mm-hmm.
From my
eyes today, I would say a tight five. Yeah. Yeah. Just because I feel like, you know, like, um, catching up mm-hmm. Is still, you know, like something that I have to, um, to do. Yeah. I totally under,
I totally understand that.
I, and then I think it speaks to what it means to, to be powerful, right? And what it means to keep growing. You know, we, if we want to stay comfortable and stay a 10, then we never get the chance to grow and see what's next. But there. Like I get so frustrated in that space of like, you just broke through a ceiling and you know you wanna be on the other side and it's all uncomfortable and it's so frustrating 'cause you're, you know, it's that middle ground of having to get your footing back and your confidence back and to feel back in the flow.
But at the beginning it feels like you were dropped on another planet. And, you know, it's, it's. Yeah, you feel like you're five years old again and you're like, wait, what did I just do? Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Like when you, you wanna grow, I mean, like, I constantly, when I feel comfortable, I start get, getting uncomfortable with the comfort.
Right? Like, I feel like I should do something because this is too comfort, comfortable.
Mm-hmm.
When I grow, I break the ceiling, like you said, right? Like I, I break the ceiling. That discomfort usually. Like some people get discomfort uncomfortable a little bit at the time.
Yeah.
I make it big like a really discomfort and when and when we make a big discomfort, like it will take like these to go back.
Yes. Like, like these. It will be like, I can go back like easily. And stay there for a little bit longer. I, I'll be fine. Yep. Yep. But I don't, I don't, you know, like, and then, and then in order not to do that, like I will text my friend. Martha, like this morning, no, last night, I, I texted her and I said, I dunno what to do with this situation.
And she says, I think you should, you should just keep going. I mean, like, don't even think about going back. Don't even think about, just keep going. Mm-hmm. So I have the support. I mean, you know, like my friends will keep me accountable, you know? Yeah. Like my growth, even though they might not. Have the same process or the same willingness to do it, but they keep me because they know me.
They know I, I cannot be happy if I am not making myself uncomfortable.
Yeah. And I appreciate for everybody listening and not watching this, that while you're sharing that story, ILI is nodding and smiling like, go mom. Yes. Keep going.
Yeah. They're, they're the reason why I do what I do. Yeah.
Yeah. So for anyone who is considering adoption and considering doing, um, you know, adopting from abroad, what would you guys tell them?
How would you say, Ali?
It's yeah, a good way. I think it's a good alternative. Yes. We have all to live for life and do what we want with, I mean, you have to talk with your family and have the
The relationship.
The relationship and yeah, we don't have any problem with that. And I mean, I prefer that she is there.
Than here because I mean it just so different of here in Barcelona and when we go there and we enjoy more, all the moments we spend with her. Yeah. Yeah.
In my case, I would say, you know, like adoption is. To me, I, I can only say good things, right? Mm-hmm. Like I, my, my experience is very, very positive. I know people that had no positive experiences with adoptions.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So I think this is a little bit, um, two things. I think it's a mindset. Yeah. Right. When you get into adoption, you just have to keep your positive mindset and say, this is gonna work because Yeah. That my, my thing in my head, I never had a shade of doubt. I never had a question that should I do that?
Should I not? I mean mm-hmm. What is, what is gonna, no, I knew that she was mine. I knew that if I was going to Haiti and, and the problem was going to be long, I didn't know how it was going to turn out. I knew mm-hmm. It was going to turn out well. I had that certainty like so deep inside, like, so certain.
Mm-hmm. Like God said, you go to the universe, said mm-hmm. You know, go, because it's gonna be fine. I, I'll be there for you. And it did. Right? Like when you have that certainty, it's like, it's just, there is no question. No question.
Mm-hmm.
So I would encourage anybody that wants to adopt, especially if you are a single mom.
Mm-hmm.
Especially if you are single mom, a single mother, a single woman, and you wanna have children and the times go by and you don't have the partner that you wanted, or you thought that was going to happen and it's not happening. Mm-hmm. You don't need to wait for that. Because I don't think there is anything in the world that a single woman can do.
I, I, I, I, I, I don't think that that thing exists. Mm-hmm. We can do anything and everything. Like I've seen so many amazing women doing so unbelievable things that I don't think that, you know, like there is nothing that you cannot achieve if you are a single woman.
Love it. Best powerful lady. Way to wrap this up, ever.
Right. Well, I am so thankful that you guys were a Yes. Yes. To coming back Yes. To sharing your story. It's been such a pleasure to meet you, ili. Thank you. Um, thank you. But yeah, you guys are such an inspiration and it's lovely to see generations of powerful ladies making the world a better place. So thank you.
Thank you, Kara, for having us today. Thank you. It's been awesome and it's been awesome to see a, a familiar face.
Yes,
all the links to connect with Jimmy and ili are in our show notes@thepowerfulladies.com. Please subscribe to this podcast wherever you're listening, and leave us a rating and review. They are so critical for our podcast visibility and helping us connect with more listeners like yourself. Come join us on Instagram at Powerful Ladies, and if you're looking to connect directly with me, visit kara duffy.com or Kara under Duffy on Instagram.
I'll be back next week with a brand new episode and an amazing new guest. Until then, I hope for taking on being powerful in your life. Go be awesome and up to something you love.
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