Episode 158: Rewriting Your Story Through Hypnosis | Rebecca Wiener McGregor | Coach, Educator & Hypnotist
Rebecca Wiener McGregor has spent nearly two decades helping people break through fear, heal trauma, and step fully into their own power. A certified hypnotist, coach, and educator, she reveals how hypnosis can be a fast, transformative way to release anxiety, rewrite limiting beliefs, and reconnect with your true self. We talk about what hypnosis really is (and isn’t), how it can dissolve the emotional residue that holds people back, and why embracing your “full self” leads to more joy, abundance, and trust in every area of life. Rebecca also shares her own journey from social anxiety to running a thriving practice with clients around the world, and why setting clear standards, not just boundaries, is essential for living a life that feels sacred and aligned.
“I love to give my clients stretches. When they deliver, there’s an upleveling that happens for them. They know they can trust themselves on a different level. ”
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Follow along using the Transcript
Chapters:
00:00 Rebecca’s path to hypnosis
02:10 Breaking through fear and anxiety
05:15 What hypnosis really is (and isn’t)
07:30 How hypnosis helps release old patterns
10:20 The science behind subconscious change
12:45 From social anxiety to global coaching practice
15:00 Building a life and business with intention
17:25 Why setting standards matters more than boundaries
19:50 Dissolving limiting beliefs for lasting change
22:15 Creating space for joy and abundance
24:40 Working with clients around the world
27:05 Hypnosis myths that hold people back
29:20 The connection between self-trust and success
31:10 How to know if hypnosis is right for you
33:15 Rebecca’s advice for anyone ready to step into their power
So much more abundance in all forms. When I talk about wealth, I mean wealth, but I, I mean everything, trust, love, connection, joy, passion, all of that. It's just more fun when you're fully yourself because it takes so darn much energy to be something that you're not.
That's Rebecca Weiner McGregor and this is The Powerful Ladies Podcast.
Hey guys, i'm Kara Duffy, a business coach and entrepreneur on a mission to help you live your most extraordinary life by showing you that anything is possible. People who have mastered freedom, ease success. Those who are living their best and most ridiculous lives and those who are changing the world are often people you've never heard of until now.
When you hear the word hypnosis, what comes to mind? Is it creepy guys at country fairs making people squawk like a chicken? That's where I went. Well, today's guest is going to radically transform what hypnosis is for you and how it can be the answer you've been looking for. Rebecca Weiner McGregor is a certified hypnotist coach, educator, and all things break through to your best life.
In this episode, we get into what hypnosis really is, how it works. And we have a great discussion about how each of us can really get to honoring our sacred life and even defining like what that even means. So I can't wait to hear your feedback. I hope you enjoy the episode.
Well, I'm so excited I get to talk to you this afternoon.
I'm happy to be here with you too.
Let's just jump right in and tell everybody who you are, where you are and what you're up to.
Alright. Uh, I'm Rebecca Wiener McGregor. I am on the border between Minnesota and South Dakota and the USA on a lake and, um, what have I been up to?
Was that the other thing? What am I up to? Yes. Um, I've been up to.
Figure out my next steps for the year. I had a little delay at the beginning of the year. I got sick right at the end of the year, and so things are so little on delay this year. I'm trying to give myself a lot of grace for that, which is new to me.
Yes, that seems to be a theme this year. Um mm-hmm.
Everyone was so excited to step into 2022, and whether it's clients or colleagues, friends. Everyone's feeling a little bit of like an adjustment period in January. Yeah. Whether it's a slower start than they expected or needing to do some conine before they can actually get going. Right. Like there's a little bit of like resistance cleanup that I feel like a lot of people are in the space of.
So you're in good company.
Yeah, I think so. I think so.
Uh, so for everyone who's wondering, you know, who's on here today and when, how do you impact the world? What, what is your business and, and job and, and how do you change lives? 'cause you have lots of ways that you do that.
Yes. Uh, I'm a heist and a coach and, uh, I help people.
Where I started was helping people heal trauma. Mm-hmm. And I still do that. Um, I help them heal trauma to really release anxiety, panic, rage, um, grief, stuckness, that kind of thing. And. I also help women to release limiting beliefs around success, wealth, love, relationships, trust, all of that kind of thing, so that you can live your very best life, the one that you have inside of you, the vision for your life that you have inside.
Well, what I think is so interesting about this is, you know, we've, we've, I've had people on who, who work in the trauma space and who are coaches. Mm-hmm. But you're a hypnotist and Yeah. How does one decide that's what I wanna be?
Oh, that's such a great story. I did not decide this, I didn't go to my like counselor in high school and say, help me become a hypnotist.
Right. Um, I thought I was gonna be a family therapist because something happened in my family when I was young. We all have this story, this long and winding road. Right. And um, I remember sitting in the family therapist's office thinking at that time with that person. I, I do see the value in family therapy for sure.
Mm-hmm. And thinking there has to be a better way for us to do this, for us to be more authentic. 'cause it was like we were pretending that everything was okay and things were not okay.
Yeah.
And so that was gonna be my path to go into that field. And I got my undergrad in psychology and uh, I did graduate work in health psychology and meanwhile I was working in the banking industry.
That was really boring for me, but I made a really great friend. And he's still a great friend to this day, but in this job that I really didn't like, I had this oasis of this friend and he came to work one day, he had watched a movie about hypnosis and he said, what do you know about hypnosis? And I just scanned my mind.
There were two paragraphs in one psych book that addressed hypnosis, you know, kind of just very quietly. And at the time I was dealing with, I'd say, mild to moderate. More leaning to the moderate side of social anxiety. I've been hiding from life for about three years. Mm-hmm. And um, he said, I think you could really help a lot of people with this.
Like, what a great friend. Right. And. So he said, what do you, should we learn hypnosis? And he was my best friend, so I thought Sure. Was it, I was like, as enthusiastic as it was it gonna get at that time, right? Mm-hmm. Sure. And I said, you find us a great teacher, put all the responsibility on him. So yeah, I did that and uh, I said, you find us a great teacher and I'll, I'll go.
He found us a great teacher and then he ditched me. He didn't end up going. I know. So Perfect. And at that time in my life, it was not in my usual way, character to go and do this by myself because I was scared a lot of the time. Yep. And uh, I did the work. All the months of work in advance went to the residency and I got lost on my way there.
That was back in the day where I had like instructions and um, and an actual folding map and uh, excuse me. And we got there. I got there and I couldn't find it. And I was just praying like. Show me the way. Show me if this is meant to be. Show me the way, and my street popped up right in front of me and I put everything I had into those classes and I walked away with no social anxiety anymore.
Wow.
It's been gone. In May, it'll be 18 years.
Wow.
That's how it became my passion to help people unlock their pain, their limiting beliefs, release all that stuff. It gives me goosebumps thinking about it right now because it changed my life. I remember just the energy shift and the shift in my idea of possibility in my life.
Mm-hmm. And I wanted it for everybody. I still want that for everybody.
What, how is it in a scientific perspective that that hypnosis works? Like what is it accessing that you can't access in an in another format or maybe not access as quickly?
What I truly love about hypnosis is that it is swift. Mm-hmm.
And it is focused concentration. So you close your eyes, not because you're sleeping, you know, let's face it, hypnosis is a funny looking little word and uh, we think it means all sorts of things based on what the word is and what we've seen in the movies, but really is a focus and concentration that allows you to shut off all the outside stimuli and really focus on what's happening inside.
And because of that, we can get to memories that are associated with the physical responses that we have of, we'll use panic as an as an example. So maybe someone has like pounding heart when they get really nervous, it's just cranking. Mm-hmm. We can use that focused, concentrated state to get to the experience that caused that feeling.
Okay, so swiftly and then with the techniques that we use, we reframe the experience. We neutralize the experience, essentially we talk about it until it's very boring and, and then we look for the lessons in it and find that deep acceptance. And what's so cool about that is it breaks the connection between that experience and your physical, emotional, behavioral response.
And every time that file is accessed. As a reference in the future. It's got acceptance and peace and calm in it rather than fear, anxiety, panic, guilt, shame, doubt, that kind of thing.
And is hypnosis good for anybody or is it like for, would you recommend it for a certain type of of clients or is it really across the board?
It wor it can work for people who can follow the instruction, right? Mm-hmm. Um, the people that it, that I have struggled personally to work with are teenagers because their parents want it to be, want them to heal rather than they wanna express themselves the way they are, right? Mm-hmm. So it feels like that's a, that's a group of people that.
I'd rather work with, with an adult. So most, I've worked with people from ages three to 98, by the way. Wow. And yeah, that's been really fun. But the person who really wants to shift is willing to put in the effort and is willing to have a little skin in the game. Mm-hmm. And by that I mean, coupled with that effort, like they're willing to do the, the things that.
Aren't so easy. Mm-hmm. And that means that we're not bypassing emotions anymore, that we're exploring them and we're feeling. Mm-hmm. So people who are motivated to heal and to change and who, um, are willing to get to a place where they're not scared of emotion anymore. Because that's what happens when you let yourself feel it.
You're not scared of it anymore.
Yeah. And you know, so much of coaching and therapy has moved into a virtual space they now have. Mm-hmm. Like teletherapy and other things. Can you do hypnosis? Um, virtually or remotely, or do you need to be with someone?
You can do it virtually, and I am very, very grateful that I, I had a, someone reach out to me from across the country who wanted to work with me back in 2018.
Mm-hmm. And I thought, you know, if I open this up. A virtual and I could work with people from anywhere. Mm-hmm. And so I was, I'm very thankful I was ahead of the game so I didn't have to make any adjustments when things, when things went virtual. And now I've worked with clients in Australia, New Zealand, all over Europe, Spain, Canada, all over the United States and Hawaii in just a short amount of time because people are looking for that.
People are looking for that healing. And what's really cool is I see Zoom, for example, whatever application you like, but these kinds of applications as transformational tools. We don't have to look at it like it's, you know, we're coming together, but it's, but it's just virtual, you know? Yeah. When we tune into each other, we can be loving.
Mm-hmm. And we can be really focused. Some of my clients say it's actually easier than being in an office because there's nothing for me to look around at and be distracted at. Yeah. By, they just get to be with me and we really create a, a loving space, something that the client feels really safe in.
And they get to be in their space, right?
Which is yes, huge 'cause just going to someone else's unfamiliar, weird space can be triggering all by itself,
right? Where do I park? What door do I go in? How early do I go? All that stuff. Mm-hmm. And when they're in their homes or their offices, most of the time they're in their home, they're in their comfy chair, or they're snuggled in their bed.
These are all really nice, safe places that contribute to that. Comfortable. That comforting feeling
is, is hypnosis something that is part of like licensed therapy space or is it like an add-on? Like I, I know a lot of people who. Are trained and CER and licensed therapists when they, but they've moved into a coaching space because it allows them to work in different mediums.
Mm-hmm. So where does hypnosis fall?
Hypnosis is, so I started as cert. I am certified hypnotist, and you can get you as a licensed therapist. I've had people, therapists reach out to me to teach them how to do it, or they can usually take some classes to get an understanding of it for their continuing ed, things like that.
Okay. I don't know a lot who've gone through the full certification, but that's, you know, in my tiny corner of the world. It's definitely something that can be added in as a modality like EMDR.
Or yoga. Yoga or something. Yeah. Yes.
Exactly. Exactly.
No, I I, I'm so fascinated by that because there's such a, so many people are leaning in on getting the support they need to be their best in whatever space that is.
And I think it's really interesting, which, uh, modalities are. Like approved by the licensing board in which aren't right. And I really see that struggle. People are going through between, I know I can help you, but I have to help you. Can you walk out the door and go into my coaching office because I can help you over there.
I can't help you in my, like, licensed therapy office. And I think that's so interesting. The, the limitations we're putting on, on people who, um, have so much access to help people. Right. Um, but you mentioned you get a lot of referrals, I'm sure too, right? Mm-hmm. Of people who aren't certified, they're like, okay, we're gonna bring you in as the expert in hypnosis,
right?
Mm-hmm. It's often, um, a therapist who feels like they're so close to making an impact. Mm-hmm. The therapy isn't quite working because the, the trauma needs to be healed. So they might take like a three month pause, that person come and work with me. Mm-hmm. Heal the trauma. So the therapy can actually work, especially if it's family therapy, couples therapy, or even, um, you know, could even be business coaching.
Mm-hmm. You
know, something like that where there's just a block
Yep.
Inside that's, and when we have one a block inside of us, it affects every area of our lives. So I'm really grateful and thankful that I get to work with those people and then they can step back into whatever they've been doing. I've been part of a team many, many times.
Yeah,
and that's fun too.
Well, I was so impressed on your website that it, you know, from the outside looking in, it seems like you've done such a great job of creating your, your value ladder of different ways you can help people, whether it's through coaching or communities or courses you have. There's so many options you have for people to access your skills.
Was that intentional? Did that happen over time? Like, how did you decide what products and services you wanted to have for your, your people?
That it was totally unintentional. Yeah. Um, I just love people and I wanna help. So I started to wanna create different ways to connect. And it was probably eight, nine years ago when I started noticing a lot of my clients were dealing with money.
Go. That's what I like to call, to call all the limiting beliefs is gunk. Yes. So, um. Limiting beliefs around success and what's possible for them. What can I create for myself? Um, what do I deserve? How, how much money can I charge? All of that kind of stuff. And those questions kept coming up. So I developed a course to try to.
Help people help people on that specifically because the same topics were coming up. I, I network a lot with entrepr female entrepreneurs. Mm-hmm. And so they're my client base, which is really fun. And then I get to see, okay, this same person in this industry is struggling with this same thing and it kept popping up all over the place.
Mm-hmm. So that became a, an easy extension. Like, let's put all the knowledge I have about this in here and I keep adding to it. It's really fun to have a course by the way I keep adding to it. And, um, that's a really, I don't, my job sounds kind of serious and intense and I can be kind of serious and intense, but all of it is so much fun for me.
Mm-hmm. Because I get to interact with people on their journey and that is a really sacred place to be for me.
Well, it's such, such a, you know, fun and rewarding place and you get to see people just grow into how powerful they are. Like, it, it lights me up to see someone like kicking ass and I'll be like, do you realize how much you've changed in like two sessions or in, you know, if it's six months, like this is everything you've done.
Like, do you even recognize yourself because I don't recognize the person who called me for the intro call.
Exactly. Mm-hmm. Exactly when I had my office in person, when it was just the traditional office, and that was all I was doing. My office manager, who was my mother-in-law, how cool is that? She would say her favorite part of the day was watching people come in to meet me for the first time, and they would look kind of scared, of course, natural and kind of gray.
Like just, just not quite feeling themselves and then leaving and witnessing them feel that light energy again. Just having a light in their eyes and mm-hmm. Excitement and hope for the future. And that's the power of giving a person hope and guidance and mm-hmm. Directed potential. Like this is what's possible for you, and having that conversation and unlocking that is so exciting.
And then the sessions come. And that's such a, that's such a fun place to be, like you said, in six months, look what you've done. Mm-hmm. In just a couple of sessions. Look what you've created. And I love to give my clients stretches. Sometimes they get a little, they get a little nervous sometimes when I say, okay, I wanna give you something that's gonna stretch you a little bit.
And when they deliver. That's, there's another upleveling that happens like, oh, I didn't think I could do it. Yeah. And here I am. I did it, and now I know that I can trust myself on a different level.
Mm-hmm. All of
those things are fun and exciting, like you mentioned.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When, when did you decide to be an entrepreneur?
Oh, let me see. I was maybe 14. Yeah. Mm-hmm. It's been in there for a long time. My parents are entrepreneurs. Mm-hmm. They had a restaurant and um, actually quite funny enough, they had a company that made inspirational and motivational plaques back in the eighties. And with lots of, you know, I'm so fascinated by words and quotes and, uh, the power of words and how quotes have history lessons in them and all of that good stuff.
And, um, so they've done all sorts of things like that. My parents have had other businesses and I think I got the bug from them. And then when, as a developer myself, it was desiring to. Make my own rules, make my own schedule that kind of thing, and do what I wanted to do, rather than being boxed in. Mm-hmm.
It doesn't feel like you're being boxed in if you're not really an entrepreneur. I think it really feels like that if you're an entrepreneur.
100%. Yes. It's the the freedom, right? Yeah. The freedom to get to do it, uh, your way.
Yeah, absolutely.
So, of course we're on the Powerful Ladies podcast. Mm-hmm. So when you hear the words powerful and ladies separately, what do they mean to you and when you hear them combined, do they mean something different?
Hmm.
Powerful means to me, uh, that inner strength, that inner trust, that belief in the self. And the willingness to risk things for happiness and for the vision. Mm-hmm. And ladies, I think of my sisters, my friends, my soul sisters, my clients. And when you put them together, that's the magic that empowered self leading from that place of.
And being okay with balancing the feminine and masculine energy. Mm-hmm. And being yourself fully, not trying to fit into the patriarchy. Yeah. But being your fully yourself within the constructs of your own standards and values and all of that.
I think that's a hard thing for people to wrap their head around.
Being your full self. Yeah. Especially for people who, you know, might feel stuck or I can, or struggling.
Right.
Like what's possible for people when they step into their full self?
Exponential joy, exponential joy, deep self trust. So much more fun and fulfillment. Mm-hmm. So much more abundance in all forms.
When I talk about wealth, I mean wealth, but I, I mean everything, trust, love, connection, joy,
passion, all of that. Mm-hmm. It's just more fun when you're fully yourself because it takes so darn much energy to be something that you're not, whether it is to hold on a mask. To censor your words, to edit your woo. Like, to take your, your weirdness, quote, weirdness out of the conversation to not fully be yourself.
Take so much energy and when you start peeling back the layers and you let little bits of yourself come out, and then you really step into who you are, that's a really powerful energy. I just got waves of goosebumps, like somebody really needed to hear that.
And I think so often we don't even realize that we're not ourselves until there's a wake up call that happens 'cause mm-hmm It's so easy to be distracted and consumed by just the everyday to-do list and schedule and all the things.
So I see so often that people wake up one day and they go, wait, what's happening? Who? Who approved this life and this plan? Um. For someone who's so true, who's just realizing that they're maybe stuck or they aren't on the right path, how, like what would it look like to work with you if they're like, I don't know what the issue is.
I don't know where I'm stuck. I don't know if there's trauma or not. Like how do you start when someone just shows up and goes, I don't know, but it's not here.
Not sure. So most people know if there was that turning point in their life. Mm-hmm. Sometimes we forget that that can be connected because we've been trained to believe.
I think that anxiety and stuckness are like drop out of the sky on you, but they don't. Right? It's our ego trying to keep us in status quo. It's our ego trying to keep us from changing and growing, and so what I do, I do a consultation with everybody. I love to meet everybody and I like to know their stories and I like to honor their stories and, and where they've come from and I wanna hear their vision for their life.
Mm-hmm. Or even if they have a vision for a vision, they don't even know what it is yet. So I ask them things about their history and during that consultation we usually create a roadmap. Mm-hmm. Because during, I've become very adept at helping them discover what the core of the situation probably is.
Yeah. Most likely. It's not an absolute, but most likely we know what, what started this and creating a plan to heal it. And to heal the things, the experiences that have happened between that first one and the current day. And really just little by little unlocking the self, because we peel back layers.
Mm-hmm. We peel back, we heal this experience, we peel it back, and there's a subtle shift in, oh, I don't feel as stuck anymore. I don't feel as scared anymore. We peel back another layer, we heal another experience. Wow. That was really setting my passion free and now I have sparks of joy about what I wanna share with the world.
We peel back another layer. And it is, wow, I really can love myself. I can't appreciate myself. I, and we peel back another layer and I don't have to be in judgment of other people either. Yeah. And we keep peeling back these layers and pretty soon we're so much more ourselves because when we are truly ourselves, we are loving being.
Mm-hmm. And that's such a, so much more joyful space, isn't it?
Well, it's, it's a, coming from a place of love allows so much room. I think. Yes. You know, when there's, if it feels icky, like whether it's how you know, the divisiveness of things in the media or politics right now, it doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel good 'cause it's not coming from a place of love like it, right?
It's not about right or wrong, but it's not, it's not a place of love or a commitment to. Greatness. And I, and I think that that's like, we're humans are attuned to feeling that. And so when we feel it and we know it's wrong, we're like, Ugh, we don't want any more of that. But I think there's that process of like, how do we course correct?
Because, um, you know, maybe this is super woo woo of me, but I just believe that we, if we are back in that space of what we're committed to and coming from a place of love, like that's where anything's possible for ourselves for. For fill in the blank. And I don't realize that people know we have to get to that first sometimes.
Right.
You know, I'll see clients who like are, are producing success, but like stuck. They're hitting this wall, hitting this wall mm-hmm. Hitting this wall. And I don't spend a lot of time with clients in, in the y space. Like I don't go backwards so much. I'm much more in the action space. Hmm. Um, but usually it's rooted in like, okay, what are you not dealing with?
Right.
So, okay. Who do you have to go and work with to deal with that? Because there's some, the universe usually doesn't make you hit a wall over and over and over again for no reason. Like, you're not getting something, you're not seeing it, you're not getting a lesson, like there's something happening,
right?
That
you're, you know, six inches from the door, that would make it much easier. Um, but you know, we make it mean that it's about us or it's permanent or something else. And I'm like, no. If you want something and you're doing all the the right things, it shouldn't feel this way, so Right. Something's out of alignment.
Yeah. I agree with everything you just said, and I don't think it's too woo to want, you know, I think that is, that's, yes, it's spiritual, right? Yes. It's about our, our relationship with ourselves and our higher power if we choose that, but love is the answer. Mm-hmm. Period. If it doesn't feel good, it's not coming from love.
What you just said is so perfectly stated and so powerful and such a good starting place. If this doesn't feel good, I'm not operating from love, which means I'm operating from something rooted in fear. Mm-hmm. Do I wanna be operating from fear? And then when you're in this place where you're starting to shift, you wanna make these shifts.
I think it is imperative to notice, but not be in a state of judgment with yourself. Yep. Notice I keep doing the same thing every time. I see the door there, but something is keeping me from turning the knob. Or why do I keep hitting the walls six inches on the other side of the door when I know that?
There's some, there's something out there for me, but I'm not letting myself have it. Mm-hmm. Then it doesn't have to be, what is wrong with you? Why aren't you letting yourself have this? You could be so great. Everyone tells you you're wonderful, like all the stories that we hear, right? Mm-hmm. All these, mm-hmm.
Piled on judgments. What if it is as simple as putting your hand on your heart and saying to yourself, what do you really need right now? And listening and then creating space and a practice of listening to yourself. Yep. And then getting support if you need it, which I value coaching so much. There isn't a year in my practice for the last decade that I haven't had a coach or multiple coaches and, and the support space is so beautiful.
There's so much opportunity to get the support that you want. And gets to be easier.
Easier. Yeah. You have to have a coach and a community and, and I agree with you, it's like multiple, like there's people who can help in so many different ways, right? And mm-hmm. If we look at, you know, I've been watching a lot of football 'cause it's all the playoffs right now, but
Right.
Everyone's talking about like, how is Tom Brady doing this? And it's like, oh, 'cause let's look at the team. Of coaches Tom Brady has. Mm-hmm. There's a how many just in the football team, and then a trainer, and then a nutritionist. He has his branding person. There's a PR person. There's a million people who are all on Team Brady.
Right. And if we wanna have a life like that, we have to allow and request that our team gets built around us. Like it's one, it's more fun, as you were talking about earlier. And two, it's like. We are so bad at coaching ourselves, and I, I know as a coach myself, I get in this loop sometimes I have a coach.
Mm-hmm. But I'll get into this loop of trying to coach myself through something and then be like, why am I even trying, like my first reaction to try? And I'm like, Nope. Just step away, back up. Write it down. Call your coach. Like, why are we wasting our time? Just why.
Mm-hmm. Yeah. It can be an incredible waste of time and energy really too.
Try to see our way out of a place. It's like trying to get the truck unstuck from the mud and there's only mud around. Yeah. How do we see our way outta it? Yeah. It's really, it can be really hard to do that, and we can be such lone wolfs, and I am guilty of this completely, where I will just go and just try to sort it out by myself.
Mm-hmm. I don't ask for support. I don't even, at times, especially when I was dealing with that anxiety, I didn't even know what to ask because I didn't think there was a way out. Mm-hmm. And if you call a coach and say, I need, I need help finding a way out, that's a perfect opening question. It's so fun.
Get that question. Yes. We'll help you create a roadmap and what a gift you'll give yourself by investing that time and that energy. In making that change and allowing that support. I feel like the, well, I just signed on a client not very long ago who said to me, I could hire another employee, or I could hire you for the year.
Mm-hmm. And I know that hiring you for the year is gonna give me greater value because I need someone who will support me where I am. Yeah. Rather than someone I have to teach to be supportive of me, where I'm,
yeah. Yeah. And you don't even know if you need those people until you talk to somebody most of the time, like Right.
It's, yeah, it's amazing to me. I, I just had a, through a podcast guest recommendation, a friend of mine who was on, we were talking about human design, and so I went and got my human design, and I'll include the link in the show notes for the one that I took. Um, but I, what I thought was so fascinating about it were two things.
One, it was talking about. Like how each of us have like an um. An emotion or feeling that's like a signal from our body or our minds to us. And mine is apparently frustration, which is perfect because that shows up. I am, I get so impatient and so frustrated all the time, so I'm like, oh, that's my, that's my cue.
That something's off. Perfect. I'm very in tune with that one. But the part that really was like a ugh, like seen and in the mirror and you didn't want to was it said, you're such a logical person. But you can't logic yourself out of all of your issues.
Oh, yes.
Like I, I use logic, but I'm an intuitive decision maker and they're like, if you're stuck, it's because you're trying to logic your way out of bit of intuitive decision.
So like, good luck, but you gotta give it up. And I was like, no, I don't like, just find the logic outta this. It was so frustrating. And so I've really been focusing, as you mentioned, on. Coming back to getting grounded and like listening again because it's so easy to stop listening to yourself. Especially if you're in, I think a success space of mm-hmm.
Flow and it's working and things are moving and then you're like, wait, I can't hear myself anymore. 'cause I started going way too fast on this path. So like, having to get grounded again has been, that's been the process I've been going through in the past couple of months. Um. How often do you see someone where the answer they need is just to like get back in touch with themselves?
From that perspective?
Everybody. Yeah, everybody. It's a process. The work that I do with people is a process. It begins with getting back in touch with the self and then going deep to do the healing. And um, I'll tell you a personal experience that just has been occurring. Um, my team and I. I have had like six losses since the middle of December.
I'm so
sorry. Yeah, it's been really rough and two of us have had COVID take a breath, right? Uhhuh. And what I did was give myself a day off. I just cleared the whole calendar, gave myself a day off. No expectation not I'm gonna try to read six books. I'm gonna try to listen to these webinars. I did nothing I didn't wanna do.
Mm-hmm. I did the dishes. I didn't wanna do the dishes, but I did the dishes anyway. I watched a frivolous movie. I snuggled with my dogs. I looked out the window. It's very, very cold here. So I didn't go outside very much, but I looked out the window a lot and what happened? Was I gave myself breathing room mm-hmm.
To hear myself again and not be in the place of, I've gotta take care of other people because there's a lot of caretaking that's happening. Mm-hmm. Where we're trying to care for other people who don't, A, haven't asked us to care for them, and B, aren't receiving the care. Yep. We want things to be better for them, and it's easier to focus outward.
So we're trying to care for other people and we get to bring that energy back to ourselves where it is actually useful. Mm-hmm. Because nobody is gonna change unless they decide to. Yeah. So we get to decide, I'm gonna take that energy and give it back to myself. And after that day off. I felt like sparks of inspiration and excitement and all of these ideas were popping through.
Like I, my pen could not keep up with my mind when I was journaling. Mm-hmm. And it was just one day. Imagine if you get, if you cultivate a lifestyle where you're listening to yourself, you're listening to your intuition, you've healed this trauma that gets really, really loud. You get yourself into the present and you start taking action.
You're talking about being in that taking action space. Mm-hmm. So you're taking aligned action. It doesn't even have to be perfect. Yep. Just action somewhere in the direction of where you wanna be and celebrating those successes and releasing that judgment. We create so much space between our thoughts by releasing that judgment.
That's like a beautiful. For freedom.
Mm-hmm. When, when people come to you, do they even, like, I know from my experience when a, a coaching client comes to me, they're coming to me with a business problem, and I know, I'm like, that's a cute problem, but that's not really the issue and that the exact same experience you have where you're like, oh, I know you think you wanna do that, but I bet it's this instead.
Like, are you, do you see that with your, with people who come to you where like, we can't see past whatever's on fire that we like, can't get to the source the same way that you Yeah. You see it right away?
Yes. Because often the thing that we're looking at, we think is the problem, but it's actually a symptom.
Mm-hmm. Like anxiety is actually a symptom of stuff that's not resolved. Panic is a symptom of stuff that was not resolved that your brain thinks is still happening. So it's gotta create this feeling to try to protect you. Anger is there's, it's not resolved. Mm-hmm. Stuckness in our business, wanting to get some traction.
There's, and not being able to take the step, not letting ourselves be visible. These are symptoms of something else. So like you said, we can see the fire, but there's something that's feeding the fire. So that is probably the first thing we talk about is, and I'll always create it as my belief, right? Yeah.
That this, my belief is that anxiety's a symptom. Mm-hmm. And that you don't have to suffer with it. And it's not gonna be the way you are for the rest of your life unless that's what you want. And some people do want that. Some people have identified with it in such a way that they don't wanna change that about themselves.
Which is fine. I help people who wanna be helped and that's okay.
Mm-hmm. So speaking of that, you know so many people I know struggle in that space. People who are heart led, um, guides and caregivers, right? But you wanna help everyone, but not everybody wants the help. How do you resolve that on a case by case basis?
Like how do you let it go so that you can. Honor that you, they crossed your path, but like then come back to the people who want it. Like what does that process look like for you?
For me personally, that lesson has come up a few times. Mm-hmm. Because since I was a little kid, I've been the one that people come to for advice.
And for help. And then I became a hypnotist and a coach and all of these other things that I ha know these modalities for. And I love being the person, like trust is my love language. So if you wanna trust me with something, I will, I will figure out a way to help you get the result that you want.
First a situation that I was in, it bled into a, a really close friendship. Mm-hmm. And I was trying to help them resolve the symptom, but there was a greater thing happening behind the scenes that I was not, not given that information about. In fact, it was covered up. It was, I, it turned out she had told me this big life for a long time, and that was really painful and it helped me remember that it is not my job to try to save everyone.
I don't have the energy, the bandwidth to do that. Yeah. I get to help people who really want to be helped, who are willing to invest the time and effort and the resources so that they can make that shift for themselves. That was a very, it is a very powerful message that I earned early on with my clients because I was trying to make things good enough for them.
Well, if the only time you can come in is 8:00 PM on Wednesday, I'll be here. Right. Or if you can only pay this amount this time, that's fine. And I was working with, uh, with people who had real problems. Of course, they were just not in a place of.
Where I prefer my clients to be now, which is a readiness to, to change the problem choosing themselves. Yes. The people I worked with at the beginning of my career, some of them were excited for a change, but they wanted me to do it. Yeah, they did. They wanted to try to get out of all the, the part where there was feeling and effort and all that stuff, which I understand that's hard.
Yeah. But the people I work with now. Are more understanding. Most of them are coaches are healers themselves. So they have a really strong understanding that we get to go deep and it gets to be a spiritual experience and you get to feel, and it's not a have to, it's a get to.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I, um, if my coach is listening to this episode, she's gonna be so happy that we're, that you just brought that up.
'cause we were talking literally last night in my, in my, um, call about. You know, recalibrating boundaries. I'm a big believer that the things that we have to deal with, like will come up as we keep expanding just in different ways. Mm-hmm. And boundaries is one that I think for everybody keeps coming up at different levels.
'cause as you expand the boundaries shift, the policies have to also level up when you do. Right. And I'm in that place right now of exactly what you said. Like who, who wants to do the work and then who wants. Myself or my team to do the work and, and like having to step into that, calling out of like, okay, what are you avoiding?
What are you not taking on? Why is this not important? And I love that you brought up the calendar piece. 'cause so many people, the key to transforming their business is deciding their time first.
Mm-hmm. And
the clients have to fit into that time and. You know, for both of us who have done that for clients, like the clients don't go away, what you say, right?
I'm only available these times. Mm-hmm. They figure out a way to make it shift and I think it's such a lesson for being a stand for what works for you in life in general because we're so, you know, stereotypically, women in particular are so good at bending all the way over until we break. And it's like, you don't have to do that.
Like, you know, when we think about our dream clients or our favorite people to spend time with, they're never the people asking us to bend even halfway across. It's like,
yes.
It's always people who are like, all right, got my hand, I got your hand, let's go. And like, that's it. And we get so nervous to like, not even say no to people, but just say, here are the new rules.
Right.
W what tips do you have for people who wanna put a new boundary in or, or put out new rules? How can they do it in a way that's powerful?
So when I think of boundaries, I think of we reach a boundary and we recognize something has to shift. Mm-hmm. Okay. And what I like to do is to set a standard.
Because a boundary, if we're trying to hold a boundary, because I think a lot of people get this, uh, feeling like we have to hold this boundary, right? So then we're on guard all the time. Mm-hmm. Defense, defense, defense. We're thinking about football, right. That we're trying to hold everybody back. Mm-hmm.
And there's an energy there that says, if you just push me hard enough, I'll give you what you want. Yeah. Or there's gonna be a fight. If you push me too hard, because I've worked with women who are like, I've set all these standards and I'm ready to fight for them, or I've, I've set all these boundaries and I'm ready to fight for them.
But when we use the word standard and we step into the place of standard, the rules are matter of fact. Mm-hmm. I only do sessions on Thur on Wednesdays and Thursdays. Mm-hmm. Sometimes I'll do a makeup session on a Monday. Yeah, that's the way I operate. Mm-hmm. I only do consultations on Mondays. Mm-hmm.
That's the way I operate. And not every Monday is available because I like to take time off to energize myself, so I'm ready for my clients. I don't, uh, for me as standard is, um, that I don't work with people who. Uh, let's see. It's actually not, not so much about what I don't do, it's what I do. I work with people who are willing to make change.
Mm-hmm. I work with people who wanna go deep on a spiritual level. So these, the standards are more about what I want rather than what I don't want. Yep. And then that creates that energy of attracting what I do want, rather than putting all of this energy into a boundary and attracting what I don't want.
Which is a heck of a lot more fun.
Yep. When, um, I do a workshop about boundaries and I'm like, I, if the biggest thing I see for people to shift with the boundary conversation. Is like, stop making it a square that has sharp pointy edges. Make it a sacred circle, please.
Yes.
Hallelujah. It's like, what? You know, and in my mind I'm thinking like hocus pocus and like the salt, but Right.
It's like, what do you, what do you wanna protect and honor, because that's what this is for. Yes. If, if, if, uh, if it's really hard to be a stand for the people we care about and the, the gifts. You know, as you were talking about earlier, that we are to the world, the people we're serving. If we aren't honoring that, um, the machinery in particular that we are, yeah, it's, it's, um, and there's a difference between going through sprints of like stretching and having to be, um.
In less flow state, but that shouldn't be the norm from, in my opinion. 'cause that's the, that's the burnout plan.
Exactly. Mm-hmm. If we're not allowing in flow, if we're not getting fueled, it is very quickly reaching burnout. And I don't think people even realize that they're burned out until months after they're burned out, where they're really like the fumes are gone.
There's even, we're not even running on fumes anymore. We're just running on some sort of a survival mode. Mm-hmm. That is very painful and coming back into the boundaries, being encircling a sacred space or a sacred process, or your sacred energy. Mm-hmm. That's a beautiful thing. That's an honoring of the whole process.
Mm-hmm. Really what I want my clients to feel is that their life is a sacred experience. So all of this, how people is that, yeah, all of it gets to be a piece of that, and it gets to be as special and beautiful as you can make it so that you feel completely devoted to it, devoted to your desire and devoted to your gifts, and not because.
The world needs them, but because you need to share them.
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, I am sure there are many people right now who are very inspired by you. Um, but first I'm gonna ask you before we share how we can connect with you. Okay. I wanna ask you where you put yourself on the powerful ladies scale. Zero is the average everyday human.
10 is the most powerful lady possible. Where would you put yourself today, and where do you think you would put yourself on average?
I feel like I'm an 8.8 today and you like it probably in that like, like 7, 8, 9 range, and there are days when it pops up to that 10. And everything's clicking. Right, because it's a practice. Yeah. And then there are days where, you know, things are a little rough and you gotta give yourself a day off, you know?
Mm-hmm. So it does go down a little bit, but I like, I think I'm, I'm pretty good working in that like, 7, 8, 9 range most of the time.
Yeah. All right, perfect. And for everyone who is excited to work with an 8.8 to and to a 7.9, um, and just who's really inspired by what you shared today and, and your approach to.
You know, honoring your own life and making that sacred, where can they find you, follow you, support you, all the things?
Oh, there are lots of ways, but the easiest thing to do is to go to rebecca wiener.com mm-hmm. W-I-E-N-E r.com and book a call with me. The, our first call is my gift to you. If you're ready to make some change.
Just contact me there. That would be the, the best and most fun way to do it. And you can also find me, if you wanna join, um, my community, inner circle with rebecca.com. Uh, we'll direct you to my Facebook community. Um, and then you can find me all over social media and all that good stuff too.
I love it. Um, well, we have a very powerful community of powerful ladies.
Yeah. And I, I'm asking guests this year. How can we support you? What do you need? What do you want? What are you manifesting?
Hmm. Thank you. You're welcome. First of all, that's such an incredibly generous question, and it's that generous spirit that adds to your power, right? Because you know that there's no scarcity as you're being so generous, which it creates such beautiful flow.
So thank you for that question. You're welcome. I would love to fill my Extraordinary Wealth program with some amazing, powerful ladies who are ready to come home to themselves, learn a bunch of tools to release limiting beliefs and anxiety and, and all the gunk, and really step into the life of their vision.
And if they're not sure what the vision is, find that along the way as we create space for it so they can reach out to me for any questions about extraordinary wealth. I would really love that too. Thank you so much.
You're welcome. Um, well, yeah, I just, I'm a big believer that everything we need is one request in one person away.
Yeah.
And you know, that's, there's people right now who are thinking of ways to connect you and that's the one Right. That just hit it. So. Perfect. I love it. Um. But it has been such an honor to have you today. Thank you for being a Yes to me and to the Powerful Ladies Podcast and to sharing your story with everyone listening.
Oh, you're an easy yes. You're an easy yes. And your community is an easy yes. Thank you so much, Kara. I appreciate it.
All the links to connect with Rebecca are in her show notes at The Powerful Ladies. Dot com. Please subscribe to this podcast wherever you're listening, and leave us a rating and review that helps so much to get this podcast visibility and to help us connect with more listeners like you. Thank you.
Thank you. If you wanna hang out more, please come hang out on Instagram at Powerful Ladies. And if you wanna connect directly with me, visit kara duffy.com or you can book an intro call. And see all my other products and services where we can hang out, or of course, come follow me on Instagram at Kara decade.
I'll be back next week with a brand new episode. Until then, if we're taking on being powerful in your life, go be awesome and something you love.
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Created and hosted by Kara Duffy
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