Episode 167: The Coaching Mindset That Can Change Everything | Angie Wisdom | Business Coach, Author & Speaker
Extraordinary lives aren’t built by accident. Angie Wisdom, celebrated business coach, author, and speaker, has helped countless leaders, entrepreneurs, and individuals step into their full potential. As Kara’s own coach, Angie has been a catalyst for clarity, action, and confidence. In this conversation, she opens the door to her coaching philosophy, the daily practices that create lasting change, and the lessons that help people lead with more ease and intention. From her journey into coaching to the power of awareness, this episode is about unlocking what’s possible when you commit to living & leading - extraordinarily.
“There is no bad awareness. Awareness is simply an opportunity to celebrate or an opportunity to change. Awareness is powerful. It’s not judgment.”
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Actions for Selfcare / Mindset:
Use Angie’s Journal every morning
Listen to yourself
What do you want to have in your day?
Who are you affirming?
What’s your gratitude?
What are you praying for?
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Follow along using the Transcript
Chapters
00:00 The power of coaching to transform your life
01:20 Angie’s journey to becoming a business coach
03:10 Lessons Kara has learned from working with Angie
05:00 Building daily practices for clarity and focus
07:00 The role of self-awareness in leadership
09:15 How to create more ease in your work and life
11:00 Moving from self-criticism to self-celebration
13:00 Why presence is a leadership superpower
15:10 Strategies for overcoming fear and doubt
17:30 How to recognize and shift limiting beliefs
19:15 The importance of defining your own success
21:30 Balancing ambition with personal well-being
23:00 Coaching tools to navigate challenges
25:15 Encouraging others to embrace their potential
When you see it from the coach's position and you watch somebody like get that clarity and then execute and move mountains, just like a shift of awareness or mindset, it's mind blowing. You could literally hit a wall for a year and then you have one conversation. It's like amazing.
That's Angie Wisdom and this is The Powerful Ladies podcast.
Hey guys, I'm Kara Duffy, a business coach and entrepreneur on a mission to help you live your most extraordinary life and make the impact you want. By showing you anything is possible. People who have mastered freedom, ease success, who are living their best and most ridiculous lives, who are changing the world are often people you've never heard of until now.
Today, you are in for a treat because today's guest is my amazing business coach, Angie Wisdom, she'll spill a few being about me. We talk about her coaching journey, and we get into things we wish everyone knew about themselves and their capabilities and so much more. I hope you enjoy this peek into who is a key contributor to my business and my life, and may she inspire you too.
I am so excited to have you today on The Powerful Ladies Podcast. I am happy to be here. This is gonna be fun. It. I am very excited about this because so many people ask me about who my business coach is. And today they get to meet you. So let's tell everyone your name, where you are and what you're up to besides being a coach.
Yes.
Angie Wisdom, and I am in Newport Beach. Close neighbor to you. And besides being a coach, I am a mother to two boys who are 16, 17, so almost one gonna college. And married for, gosh, almost 25 years now. If I'm not coaching, I am
usually golfing. So I think the first question I have to ask, because when I tell people your name, they think it's a brand name and not your real name.
So as a coach, having the last name wisdom is perfect, but it really is your last name. It is, and everybody asks me that,
They're always like, is it really your name or your stage name? And it's definitely not a stage name. I I got it through marriage, but it works well for the business.
Yes. Hey, brisket, Uhuh. And of course, you and I have been working together for three years now. Is that accurate? I think it's almost three years now. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Which is crazy to me. But I know that it was so hard for me to find a coach that I felt fit and understood me. And I had talked to a couple and tried a few before I found you.
And it just wasn't working. And it was so defeating because I knew I needed a coach because there was just, I was getting in my own way about my business. I knew I was doing dumb things that were like relatively simple to fix at that stage. It was making me so frustrated that I couldn't, hadn't found you yet.
And then through the magic of social media, like you kept popping up on my Instagram and I'm like she's a coach and she lives down the street and she has red hair. I'm like, maybe I just call her. Yeah. And I think I even said that to you and I reached out and you're like, yes, let's meet.
You did. And I was cracking up laughing because I remember you saying I'm a coach, but I'm looking for a coach and you have red hair and Yeah.
So do you wanna connect? Do you wanna meet? And I was like, I love this girl.
Is that the strangest outreach you've ever had?
I think so, yeah. Yeah. Nobody's ever reached out to me based upon my hair color before, so I knew it was a connection in that moment,
and it's, the finding your coach process can is hard, right?
And sometimes who you need evolves over time, but I knew I needed someone who wasn't going to like, just look at one piece of my life or my business or where I was stuck, but really look at the whole picture. And also have someone who would just tell me you do such a great job of this being like, can I just tell you what I'm thinking right now?
Versus guide me through questions, because I do that with my clients and I'm like, we don't need to waste any time. If I'm a hot mess, just tell me I'm a hot mess. I'll go fix it. Gimme the to-do list. Was that different for how you normally coach people or like. How have I been a strange scenario for you, essentially?
Oh,
that's an interesting question. You are spot on though. Technically coaching right is all about asking questions and making your client come up with that answer because they have the answer and it's more empowering. But I truly believe once you settle in and you're comfortable and confident in your coaching, you have to be able to use different techniques and different clients respond to them differently.
And if I feel like it's something that you need to come up with your own answer, I'll definitely ask you the questions. But I also can hear sometimes for you, you almost have that sigh and it's just could you just tell me, and I have no problem doing that because look part of the beauty of having a coach that maybe has different insights or experiences is that you get to use that.
So you are definitely not everybody is like that. It, most people really love to feel empowered and come up with their own answers, but there are certain types especially the reformer type, right? You know that right? Wrong. Just give me the goods. Tell me what's right, tell me what's wrong and let's get on with the show.
Yes. Which I think anyone who knows me is nodding their head right now yes. That is very much what Kara's I would love to go back to your journey because you weren't always a coach. So how did your professional career start and how did you end up becoming a coach?
Sure. My professional career, I actually started in banking when I was still in high school.
I literally had days or like hours off of my schedule so I could work in a bank. So I got into that corporate world early and thought I was gonna be a nurse, but ended up in finance. I ended up working for Morgan Stanley when I think I was 22 years old. Had to fight them for it because I didn't have, the degree and the pedigree to get into the program.
But once I started as a financial advisor I loved helping people with their money, but I ended up enjoying helping other brokers. Helping them raise their business. So that was almost like where I dipped my toe in the water and started to coach a little bit. I ended up managing an office for them and helping brokers.
Eventually went on to help my husband's business, and then we started an investment firm. Where again, my role was bringing in brokers, coaching them on their business. So then I wasn't even really like your certified, coach. It was like, let me help you build your business, let me show you how to have be successful.
Over time I realized that there was healthier ways to do that instead of you just drag your ass across the finish line, yeah. Missing whatever, you just make it happen. I found there was a better way to do it, and that's when I really got involved in the credentialing side and the life coaching side to have a better approach to get people where they wanted to go.
What has surprised you most about being a coach and what has, been the best part so far?
Let's
see. What surprised
me most is how powerful and impactful it is, I have a coach obviously. I know it's helpful for me, right? Because I'm in that seat and I get the coaching. But when you see it from the coach's position and you watch somebody like get that clarity and then execute and move mountains just like a shift of awareness or mindset, it's mind blowing, right?
You could literally hit a wall for a year and then you have one conversation. It's amazing. And there you go. So I think that's what is really most surprising to me. I knew it was helpful, but it's, it is really mind blowing. And I already lost track of your second question.
I'm so excited about that one.
I was asking, what's your favorite part of being a coach? Oh, seeing people's successes.
What's the biggest success you think you've helped someone achieve?
I love the numbers. I love the business success for people when they start small and they're literally making their dreams come true. And now they're, they were like a couple hundred thousand dollars company and now they're, a $25 million company and they never managed anyone before and now they have 50 employees.
That's really fun. But it's almost like. Systematic, right? There's certain things that you need to do. The life coaching side, when somebody literally transforms their life when they started from a place of not believing or so stressed and overwhelmed, and life just sucks. And moving to this place of I have the best life.
I love myself. I can accomplish anything. Talking about it gives me goosebumps because that's crazy. That's the most amazing success to me.
I had a client wrap up their latest package today, and we've worked together for a year and she's trying to figure out like what frequency makes sense for us to continue working together.
Because she's
pulling in some other guides and advisors for different parts of what she's up to. And I had to stop her and be like, do you realize how different you are from who called me for the intro call?
So different like energy, different attention, different like Yeah.
Perspective, clarity. Like all the things were so different and I know as being in the coachee seat, every day feels like I show up in the same hot mess when I go to see you. I'm like, Nope. Back in the same hot mess. I don't, I've made no progress since last time in regards to reducing the hot mess level.
But when you see it as the coach, like there's so much progress that gets made for people.
What do you do to keep people present to that so that not only, do you get credit for the magic that you are doing, but that they get credit for the work that they're doing?
It's so true.
What you said is spot on, right? People don't acknowledge where they've come from and hearing you say that cracks me up because, I can vividly remember our first conversation and where you were when we first met, so it's amazing, how you transformed, but I don't wanna get too far off track, but I created this morning mindset journal that we can talk about.
But in there, there's a section that's like for gratitude and a section of what was your win. And it is if you don't draw attention to that, if you don't celebrate that, where's your confidence come from? So it's something that I, I hope, and I really try to empower my clients to do every day because you find that win and you're like, oh yeah, this is my 1% forward today.
And it's so important.
I've had many people ask me like, what do I need to do to be more confident? And my answer is, usually you gotta go and do something that scares you or you like you have to take an action. That you can't like, wish it, but I love that you said just write down what you've, what you're grateful for, what you've done.
It doesn't have to be a big, scary thing.
I don't
think it does, but it's acknowledging we give so much attention to everybody else. And we discount what we do and how we show up to a fault. Because then we don't give ourselves that credit. And then we do lack confidence.
But I'm a big, my number one thing for confidence is put yourself first. You start putting yourself first. You'll have all the confidence in the world.
And that's so hard for people.
Oh. It's so hard. It's so selfish, like how can you put yourself first? What about everybody else?
And it's such a, you just gotta reframe it. Look, you can either show up and give to people with half of your battery and, ability or you can put yourself first, take care of yourself and show up with all that you have. I'm not talking about putting yourself first in, lemme take six hours to go to the spa and massage.
You know what I mean? It's not a, it's not a selfish act. It's about making sure you're in the right place and fill up.
So what are, like, what does that look like on a day-to-day basis for people who are on the extreme end of not doing anything for them to put themselves first? What are some steps they can take to just start moving into a little bit of self-care?
It's why I developed that morning mindset routine and that journal, because literally in 10 minutes you've got seven prompts. Where you sit down with yourself and you ask yourself, how do I feel? What do I wanna do about it? So you're listening to yourself, step one. What do I want in my day?
You're having a say in your day. There's confidence, right? Who am you? Who are you affirming yourself to be? What's your gratitude? What are you praying for? What are you visualizing? Just that 10 to 15 minutes puts you first, we're so used to waking up and tending to everybody else what's a client need?
What's a kid need? What's a spouse need? What's the dog need? And every time we do that, or social media, we're basically saying I'm less important than everything else. I'll take care of me last. And it was funny, I was having a conversation the other day on IG live with my book coach, and I said, it occurred to me like the Talladega night saying, if you're not first, you're last.
Yeah. And I was like, that's what people need to think of. If you're not first, you're last, give yourself 10 minutes first thing in the morning, that's it. And you are already on the way to taking care of yourself, putting yourself first. Building confidence.
I have a confession of all the things you've told me to do.
That's the one thing I can't do. And I don't know it's like a journaling thing in general. Like I can answer all those questions in five minutes. I can, I'm like, do I just need to do it at night instead of the morning? Because that's when I feel like I can do it. But like I have failed at any journaling type of habit I have ever tried to start.
I'm willing to take on, now that I've completed the 75 hard and I'm moving into what's round two to add that in.
But I am
so bad at it and it's not that I don't have a morning routine, but that's the piece where I'm like, why am I either avoiding it or not thinking it's important or whatever the psychology is behind me being like, ah, I'll skip it.
I literally did it for five days in a row and then haven't touched it since, and it sits on my desk and stares at me. Angie's watching. She know you're not doing it. I'm gonna send you a picture
of me to put
on that journal.
I'm looking at you, Kara.
Yeah. With a pointy finger.
Get it together.
Yeah. Get to work. But you know what? You just said something so interesting. I don't know if you caught it. You're like, I'm so bad at it. Who wants to do something that they believe they're bad at? Yes. Nobody. So you're going, especially as a reformer, you're going to go in a different direction of that because you're not doing it right.
You're not doing it good enough. You're not good at it. So it's I
don't
wanna do anything that I'm not gonna
be good at. Can we tell everyone who's listening, what the reformer means and what it relates to? Yeah. So they can go figure out what they are. They're like, why
is she
calling
her a
reformer?
Yeah. It makes me sound like some historical, religious movements.
It works though. It's good. Yes, the reformer is an Enneagram personality type and I have all my clients take an Enneagram assessment, which is how I led you to that, in taking the assessment and you figure out what personality type you are, maybe you're a peacemaker, a helper, a loyalist, and Kara happens to be that reformer, which is really a very like black and white right and wrong personality type.
So it ties in with that, or I don't do this well, so
yeah, it's
not gonna get involved in it.
And the irony, which you and I have talked about before of. There's always a symbolism that, or themes that, that occur over and over again. Like all of my clients will be worried about confidence or then all of my clients will have a money thing and I'm like, how is everybody on needing the same things at the same time?
It just always works that way. And the irony of this conversation right now is that Monday in my Rise and Thrive call we had a whole thing where I was like, guys, you have to go and find spaces where you are a novice and you dunno what you're doing and you look like an idiot and go do it.
Because my example was doing jiujitsu, like I hadn't done something in so long that I had no idea what I was doing.
And I had started training before lockdown, so I got to go for eight weeks and then I had to stop 'cause they shut the gym. But. When I went, I felt like an idiot every time I was laugh, literally laughing at myself looking like an idiot.
Live in the moment. But it was so fun at the same time, because we don't, as adults off, we're not often in that space. So of course I just coach everybody on it and three days later it's oh yeah, and now you're actually not doing it either, so nice try.
Isn't it funny how we bring that our own awareness in like that, and I'm sure that with your clients all the time.
Yeah. Where they talk about teaching an employee something, or a kid or a loved one, and then you're like mirror, right? Yeah.
Yeah. So it just goes to remind everyone that you don't need to be the expert because you'll continue needing to grow yourself to like actually help people.
And whenever you wanna help 'em, you just need to be ahead of them. Yes, exactly. It's like my favorite is when clients. I'll ask for something over and over again and I will give them a option or a path or, Hey, try this, call this person. And it keeps being the thing that they like don't wanna take the action on.
And then usually because of someone else in their space or team, again, that mirror shows up and I'm like, oh yeah, remember that conversation we had and maybe you should finally do it because now it's like biting you in the ass because you've been avoiding dealing with it.
For sure. You're like, you're the example now, right?
Yes.
Yeah. Especially when people, as you pointed out earlier, move into managing teams.
We do such a bad job in the corporate environment of teaching people how to be leaders.
It was a
racket I had, in the corporate space where like I was lucky to have got in my MBA, so we talked a little bit about that.
Some organizational behavior spaces. I was really lucky to be in some corporate settings where they gave people leadership training before they promoted them. But it's so not common. And so often we just promote people because they are bored or there's nowhere else to put them. Or you just, all you do is move up.
And I
remember there was a designer that worked, I worked with at DC who said, I don't want the promotion, I just wanna be the designer. It was so insightful of him to know I like being a design manager. Sucks if you like designing. 'cause you never design again. 'cause you manage people and spreadsheets and budgets and it's like boring manager stuff.
It's not fun.
But we're not, we're so not good at that. And how often do you see like leadership coming up for people in their personal and professional lives? Do you see that same gap every day?
Most all of my clients are leading companies or teams in some way, shape or form.
And it's just so funny because they preach one thing, right? But practice something different. And I always think, I always think of that expression, those who can't teach, right? And it's they're like, why do I know this? And I tell people to do it, but I'm not doing it myself. It's challenging.
We just, we, the corporate industry was never that way. It was always managing and leading takes so much patience and presence, right? And it's a slow process. And we live in a world that is like so fast, instant gratification. I'll just tell you, we'll get it done sooner. And we don't ask questions. We just give advice.
It's a battle.
And we also, I think, underestimate how much time it takes to lead people.
Like when I tell people that they should plan to be able to contribute 25% to getting things done and 75% to their people, they have a panic attack.
And I'm like, yeah, but if you are there for them, they can do all the stuff like, like we, it's amazing how we just don't wanna give up doing small tasks.
Yeah. The delegating is hard or the belief that you're going to save time with it. It's that hurdle. Of going well, but I'm gonna have to slow down and take time now when the reality of it is that's time. Just one time right now, you're gonna get it back like a million times over.
Just do it now and get it outta the way. But the thought of that is more burdensome than, doing it yourself
Again and again and again and again. So there's a lot of criticism about coaching
Because
it's an industry that has, is growing and continues to expand, and not everyone is certified.
How do you approach that when people say what's the power of a coach and is it real? Yeah, it is. It's, there's a
little controversy behind it, right? Because it's the fastest growing, I believe the fastest growing profession out there. And more people are like claiming to be a coach every single day.
And, I coach for a long time before I was certified. I don't know that I coached to the highest ability before I was certified, but I certainly create, helped people create success. So I think there's a blend there of the certifications and the credentialing a, combined with experience.
There's something to be said too for somebody who just declares themself a life coaching, gets a three week certification, is 20 years old. You gotta bring some real life experience, business, personal, whatever you're coaching around that to the table.
I do keep seeing like two women in my Instagram feed were like, I started this business and now I'm making seven figures as 24 as a life coach. And I keep having the thought of who's saying yes to you, you look at the audience and they're usually adults. If you're coaching teenagers or college students. Got it. But I'm baffled at, like you said, how young some people are who are stepping into this optimize and maximize your life space.
Which I'm like, good for you. Go get your seven figures and either you are, an anointed one or what's the gap that, where's the other possibility of what you could be like helping somebody with? Or how do we redefine what your niche really is? Because life coach is so big and it often gets confused with therapy and everything else as well.
But it's fascinating to me like all these people who do have expertise and do have credentials and do produce results who are petrified to, to use the word coach. And then there's other people who are like. This is what I do when people say yes and it's great, and you're like, oh my God. This is an example of just go and do it.
Please.
It is so true. It was one of the things when I decided I was really going to put myself out there as a life coach, right? I remember doing that and telling one of my friends and he was like, oh, that's so exciting. So you're gonna motivate people and pat 'em on the back.
And I was cringey a little bit, and I was like, oh no. That was my reason right there. I'm like, oh, I'm keeping the name and I'm changing the name. But to this day I have a client, a super successful client, and she's so funny. She'll be the first one to say, I tell everyone you're my business coach.
Even though you're really my life coach too, I call you a business coach because life coach. And I'm like, call me what you want, but there's so much value in it, and it's funny that we turn our nose up to it or that it gets a bad name because shoot, we have problems in our life.
When you have problems with your weight or your body, you go to a personal trainer, right? You have problems with your mind. You go to a therapist, you have problems with your heart, you go to the doctor, like, why wouldn't we get support
On the way we run our life? And it's the hub of all those things you just mentioned.
It's maybe the most important piece. And I think it's 'cause people we're so afraid that we're broken. And we're so afraid that we can't be fixed. And we're so afraid that we're a lost cause. It's I'll just never get my shit together. Yeah. And you're like, what? How are you?
And I obviously live on a planet where like that doesn't actually cross our minds ever. But you and I both know so many people that's what they're okay to think and go to sleep and wake up the next day. The, I have to bat on myself of not physically rescuing them and forcing them onto our boat.
But it's just I don't understand how people are okay with good enough.
Yeah. I get it. It, two thoughts popped up for me when you were saying that one, I remember it's conversation and I hope you don't mind me bringing it up. And I remember you saying like, how do you get the people to do this work who don't wanna do it?
Yes. And I was like you don't, like they have to want to, and I think that's part of it. Like ignorance is bliss for some people. Because it would be too painful to know, because if you are not going to do the work. And what you find out, it's let's just keep that door closed.
I'm just gonna go on the way I'm doing it and I'm gonna be as happy as I can be in this little state here. And I think that's part of the morning routine, 'cause you start uncovering all that. You start finding out that you don't follow through with your intentions or that you are depressed or overwhelmed.
Now you gotta deal with that shit.
Yeah. I'm teaching that financial fitness for entrepreneurs class right now. We're right in the middle of it, which is the hardest part.
And everyone's in that space where they're like, Ugh, I have to really look at where my money's going.
I don't want to. And I'm like, yes. But like the truth will set you free. Go do the work. This is going to open up all these things for you, but you, to your point, you can't see it if you don't track it or write it down or even look under the underneath to see what's there. And everyone who I, 'cause I work with so many creative entrepreneurs,
right?
There's so petrified often of a spreadsheet, they like all the numbers stuff, they're like, no, just do the math for me and tell me what price to put. But once we do it, those are the people who come back to me and they start showing me their spreadsheets every session. Yeah. Because it's no, look it it becomes math, not magic.
And I just, I think you and I both just want people to know that looking into those spaces, they're so much less scary than we think they are.
For sure. Especially '
cause neither of us are therapists, so we're not gonna go down into any dark alleys with you in your mind.
Yeah, exactly.
And I think that part of that is the judgment around the awareness. And I told somebody the other day, there is no bad awareness. Awareness is simply opportunity to celebrate or opportunity to change. There's no bad awareness. So you spend too much money. Okay, great. Now you have awareness to do something about it, right?
But people often take the awareness and then they judge themselves and they make them, themselves feel bad for it. And so we've had to come to this place of awareness is powerful, awareness is not judgment. It's all good. Like istic.
No bad awareness. No and often, I find people getting really judgy with themselves, not just about is this number good or bad, or is this action, good or bad. It's before we decide if it's good or bad or not do you even want it? Do you wanna keep doing it? If I just choose to like, be like, screw journals, I'm just never gonna journal. I just let it go. I can just choose not to have that in my life, even if people think it's good or not.
Just if someone decides to swear off drinking or I don't know, you name it. We don't have to do all the things just because we're supposed to. Yeah. When someone tells us that we should, but until we take stock, we don't even know what we're doing. It's so true.
That makes me think, I said forever, I was a horrible writer and I remember sitting in a.
Coaching groups and everything going, I just, I'm so stuck and I'm a horrible writer. And I finally got to this point where I was like, you know what? I'm okay with it. I don't need to write like you said, like I'm just not gonna write. There's nothing wrong with not writing. And then all of a sudden, like a year later, I find myself, writing the book, and it was like, no I can't be stuck with just being bad at something, talking about facing your fears. But it is true, we get to make that decision. Like we don't have to conform to what is right. You can stay with your choice to not do something.
How has being a coach changed your personal and social life?
Personal life
drastically. I had and I didn't even realize I had so many areas that I. Needed to change that. I just had no idea how to do it. And so coaching for me changed so much of that and continues to do that every time I talk to somebody because when you teach, when you coach, you learn too.
So it's changed my life drastically. I am calm, I am peaceful. I don't worry, I don't react. I don't get mad. And those were all things I did all the time. I take care of myself. I never used to take care of myself. I always put myself last. So huge, like monumental pieces, it changed for me.
You and I have talked a lot about having to turn the coach off.
Because
it's, I used to be called out for being like Mrs. Manager at home because I just don't turn. Who I am is usually who I am everywhere. But there's a layer of having to step back and ask people if they want coaching or maybe just decide to listen instead of give advice.
It's very hard for me because I'm sitting there like with my mouth shut, sitting on my hands being like i'm not gonna help you. I'm just gonna listen. It's so hard. So how do you handle that and how have you evolved containing coaching to a coaching session? It
was so hard.
In the beginning, I'm not gonna lie, you feel like super powerful, right? You feel like this magician and you're like, I have the answer. I can ask you the right question. So in the beginning it was hard. And I remember still to this day, I'll ask my husband certain questions and he'll be like, Uhuh, don't you coach, don't you coach me?
And I'm like, okay. But I'm just trying to help him get awareness. But it's funny now because. My coaching went from wanting to constantly contribute, and help people to really being such an active listener, that now my friends and the people I'm with will be like, come on, say something.
What do you got? And I'm like, what? And I just come with a question. But I'm very quiet and I just, I don't throw it out there unless somebody prompts me for it. Because unsolicited advice isn't usually very welcomed.
No
people,
no, my, my brother will be, will confirm that. I regularly have to be like, may I give you advice?
Would you like coaching? And I have to accept it when he says no. And I'm like, okay.
All right. You need to write about letter. Might need a drink. Yes. That's what I was wondering, are you leaving Post-its for your husband, like on the mirror don't think about this. And they're running away.
I know. No, it's a very, it's funny, even my kids, they they know, they'll be like, oh, she's gonna, my clients always call me like, I dunno, what's the little character from Star Wars or something?
Like a C3 PO or R 2D twos or No, the little I can't
even remember his name. Yoda Little, yes. Yeah. Is he from Star Wars? Am I right? Yes. And they'll be like you're like, Yoda mind tricking me, or Jedi mind tricking me, or something like that. And I'm like, no, seriously I'm just talking to you.
But the family's on Guard, they're like, you gotta watch out for her. She's gonna make us do stuff that we don't even know what we're doing. Or we didn't know you would agreed to.
You'll, when I was at Puma in Germany, we, they took, put us through a bunch of communication classes. They were the ones that had like really great personal development training.
And the class was half expats and half Germans. And in there was like, my, my boss at the time, two of my bosses who were Italian, another two other Americans, and we did this whole class about communicating and listening. And myself and Andrea, my boss, who was one of the Italians, we both raised our hand with the same question.
Cool. Now we know how to do this masterful communication. How do we use it to get what we want? We both went to how do we manipulate people now that we have these skills, right? And I'm like, I looked at him and I was like, what is we are psychopaths. So we're like, okay, cool. How do we use this to our advantage?
Thank you. Bye. And ev the teacher who was German thought we were totally crazy. All the other Germans were horrified. I'm like, it must be a cultural thing of the, where there's alignment with the American culture and the Italian culture of now that we have this, how do we use it? 'Cause everyone else was very passive about all this, these tools that we were given.
But I'll never forget that moment being like, oh. Our brains work differently. Got it. That's
so funny. But what gets a tool if you're not gonna use it?
Especially knowing I'm a reformer now, I'm like, cool, now I like, if you give it to me, we're using it.
I'm gonna get everyone to do things the right way.
Yes. There was also a book, oh, what was it? It's one that I've recommended before, but it was talking about it asks the question, do you give up on an idea that other people don't like? Or do you keep working at it until they do it your way? And I'm like, oh, I do that. I, a no, to me is not actually a no.
I'm constantly just like moving everyone to like, thinking about it my way, doing it my way, like making it happen.
And
I shared that with my boss at the time and he's yes you are. He's sometimes I just wonder if I have any control over it or if I should just say yes now. And I'm like, oh good, okay.
It's working. You're like, one way is gonna save
you a lot of time, right? Mental bandwidth, all that stuff. So yeah, but I think that's part of a great quality of a coach. I think that's a common theme with coaches is of course not that we're making our clients not say no, but like we have that tenacity and perseverance to really help clients, see their things through or overcome their challenges.
Grit, right?
Absolutely.
Kara Golden wrote a great book called Undaunted Uhhuh. She's also a fellow redhead. Her name is Kara. So I literally emailed her on LinkedIn and was like, we have the same name. We both have red hair. You should be on my podcast. And she's okay. So first proof that LinkedIn direct messaging's, awesome.
And just be honest and people will say yes. You're an example. Carol Golden's an example. But she has this book on daunted, and I'm reading it going, that was me. This was my life. I could not believe how many parallels there were in that. Not accepting no as a reasonable answer. And it baffles me just like when you, we were talking earlier about people who accept good enough.
Also like people
just accepting a no when it's something that matters to them.
Even I remember my siblings in school when they would, I don't know, not get a grade they wanted or not get, I'm like, go back. Everything's negotiable. Go back. And they're like, you can't negotiate your my third grade test scores.
I'm like, yes, you can. And it was, I don't, I'm very curious like how I was programmed that way. 'cause I don't know if, I don't know other people in my family who are necessarily. How do you feel? Do you feel like you're an outlier in your family, or do you, are you like, I know exactly where all of this came from?
No, for sure. And I'm sitting here laughing about it because my family, my, my primary family, husband and kids, my sisters, all of them are like, oh God, they don't stand a chance. Whoever I'm talking to, they're like, just give her the room she wants now. Just fix the dinner. And they're like, but you're so nice about it, but yeah, everything's negotiable. I don't really know where I got that from either. But yeah, I just view everything like that. Everything. And it, I had a client the other day, at the end of the year, I should say, one of her goals was to buy her first home. And she was like, I didn't qualify for my mortgage because of the way my tax returns are, and she's self-employed.
And I was like. Oh just let's call somebody else. Don't take No. And she'd already talked to two people and she's what do you mean don't take no? And I'm like, somebody's gonna say yes. We just keep calling people, and so literally she just moved into her house. Amazing. And she was like, because I didn't take No, but to some people, it's just not a concept.
Like you're told no. And the answer's no. And you just accept that. And it's not that they're weak or not up for the challenge, it's just how that's how they were raised. You get a no, you just listen and you obey. Obviously. I don't know. I guess I didn't do that a lot when I was a child.
We failed that test for sure.
For sure. I was like how about this way? Yeah.
I would be doing a disservice to all of my clients and listeners if I didn't let you share some behind the scenes about our experiences together. So what is something that you would like to share about me that you think would be interesting to them?
Oh, wow. I hear, I like kinda locked all those secrets inside to not let any of them come out during this podcast through away the key. I think it's an, I get this for myself and so I think that your clients probably get this too, in a sense of we struggle too. Like you struggle when you sit with me.
You have struggles, whether it's over believing that it's gonna work or, seeing the picture or having the confidence. You struggle with the same things your clients do. You are not this like unicorn who has it all perfect and never has a challenge and just, is 100% on fire all the time.
I think people think coaches are that way, and the most frustrating part for me where I beat myself up is I will literally just have coached someone through to an extraordinary place. On the exact thing I know I need to go get coaching on with you, and I'm like, and I know this is the truth of like you can't coach yourself, but it's still because I'm a coach, I'm always coaching myself before I ask someone else for help.
And I just have to stop doing that 'cause it's such a waste of my time. But it's so frustrating to be like, I just help them make a bajillion dollars in its exact area where I can't turn the key in. How could I te, how could I get someone else to do it? Know the right answers, know what to do, and yet I can't do it for myself.
And
that's what's I wanna hit my head against the wall when that happens. 'cause I have no patience but. That's what I'm usually bringing to our sessions where it's like, yep, all of these things are things that I've helped someone else do and I can't help myself do.
Yeah, it's true. And so I think that's
interesting, that you struggle too, and you're showing up with a coach in the same way that you clients are showing up with you and doing the work.
So I think that's interesting. Also, I'll tell you this and you may wanna delete it or, but I'm gonna put it out there. Like I literally, I referred you to somebody yesterday and so I think what's interesting about you too is that we've worked together for three years and I still don't think you fully know your worth.
And I said that to this guy the other day, don't kill me for this, but I was like, yeah, here's, here's her name, here's her number. And I go, and if you look her up online, she might seem a little like. Softer and a little bit more yeah, you can do this, but she's really a freaking badass business person, so don't let anything change your mind.
You want her in your corner. And I'm like, she knows what she's doing and she's got the credentials. Thank you. That's something I find very interesting about you,
and I hope my entire marketing team just listened to that so they can go and fix that, because that's, that disconnect is not okay.
And you and I have talked a lot about that, right? Because it's so easy in the coaching, especially in the powerful lady space, like how there's the two businesses to get sucked into this soft, like basic bitch nonsense. That's so icky to me. Especially like the conversations you and I have had where I'm like, I would never say that.
Who? How did that get posted or, yeah, there's so many things that. It's so easy to get sucked into what other coaches are doing. And you're like, those coaches are boring. And this is not a competitive thing, it's just like a, every coach is so different. It'd be really weird if I would be caught off guard if you showed up in sneakers and like all black and had pink hair one day.
I'd be like, what were you abducted by your children? What happens? It would just not be, it wouldn't, it would be off ex normal expectations. Whereas if I show up, with a fancy handbag, someone's did someone give that to you? Are you being forced to use that? What happened?
So it's just, it's so funny how we don't lean in on those things that other people see for us.
Which is why we need coaches.
It's so true. Yeah. It's, but I think part of it, and you tell me sometimes it's like you wanna help everybody, right? Yeah. And it's it's hard not to try to appeal to everybody and we'll find your way.
And I think it's that badass when I look back to like when I, our first session to now, I think that's one of the areas where I've leaned more in on is like who I'm saying no to. Because at the beginning, just like any other business, it's like we need we need all the cash flow. So say, yes, we'll figure it out later.
And then my marker for people is always, you'll get to a point where you're so mad, you'll just start saying no to everybody.
And I
keep hitting these tears, which I think you've probably felt through with me of i'm like, Nope. Like this is more irritating than it's worth. Like you're out and having to fire clients and, or someone said it so nice on the podcast the other day, they're like, sometimes I have to gently let people go.
And I'm like, oh, that's much more a positive way to look at it than firing someone. Thank you for that terminology, Uhhuh. But it's true. Like you, you get to a place where you're, so it doesn't, it you've, for me, it's, I hear the whispering first to either do or not do something.
It gets
louder and louder to the point where it's so obvious that I'm like, how was I doing this before?
I, I get insulted with myself from yesterday when I see it in clarity. Yeah. So it does keep getting more refined and I think that's part of the mystery that we've been working through. About my business of like the marketing piece because it's getting more refined and how I'm selling and who I'm saying yes to, and like all the behind the scenes stuff, but outwardly it's not getting refined.
Yeah. You definitely got there with your clients and I'm still, I remember we went out to dinner right, like a while ago and I was like, you need to be at like a bigger table. Like you should have a bigger seat. And you've constantly been going in that direction and you're taking those seats.
But yeah, the marketing just has to follow,
But it's hard. Marketing's so hard.
It's also hard when if you're, when you're so focused on doing the work versus talking about it. And for me, the marketing piece is where I've struggled the most to find the right team and perspective and like understanding what I'm actually doing.
So I'm excited about. People who are on my team right now, but it's been an area where I keep wanting to give it away and like really step into that leadership space of here you take it like you're an expert. I'm not, let me focus over here. Like I really wanna be in the product space and the leading space, not in the talking to people I haven't met yet space.
And obviously I don't mind if it's a podcast or something else, but like to daily content creation. It makes me roll my eyes even just right now being like, Ew,
I saw that. I'm like, whew. That is not an interesting, like Yeah, no, I saw.
But you've done, I've really been impressed in the past couple of months in particular, seeing how you shifted your marketing approach.
You're doing a lot more reels. You're I keep like forwarding to my team like, look how great this is. What would this look like for us? And you're doing I really see you stepping into talking to strangers more than you ever have.
Was
that a strategic decision? Are you working with a marketing specialist is just as you and your infinite wisdom, like how did that marketing shift happen for you?
And thank you, first of all.
I appreciate you noticing that. I think really at the start of this year, I said my two words were impact and passion. And it all stemmed from that. It was like my coaching business, my one-on-one business is at capacity. My groups fill up. I have, I'm writing a new book, my book's almost done.
And that was like, how do I help anybody who wants it? How do I have an impact on the people who are ready to receive it? And that's where I took my marketing, was just like, here, let me put out these core pieces. So I think there was a shift from. I'm not selling anymore, which is just super powerful, right?
Marketing needs to sell, but you get into this place where you are really free, right? When you're like, I don't care if anybody I don't have anything to sell anymore. Yeah. Now I can just put out there how I can impact your life and share with you. So I think that was the huge pivot for it because I just started talking and sharing and really going, how can I impact somebody's life or day in these, what, 60 seconds on a real, and that's my purpose, impact, and passion.
And for all of my clients and Thrive members who are listening to this episode, I hope they hear the echo of why we were focusing in January about how do we achieve our sales goals in Q1? 'cause we got more things to do than sell.
Yeah. For the
example of that, right? Because. We don't realize how much selling takes up our time.
There's intro calls and follow through and onboarding. There's so many pieces to that. So if we can just get that handled now, we can literally move on to something else.
Absolutely.
Yeah. Yeah. When you hear the words powerful and ladies, what do they mean to you individually? And do they shift when they're put together?
Powerful to me is just like capable, right? Like beyond belief. You can move mountains that not take a note, right? Like you are powerful, you can get things done and make things happen. Ladies, I think there's a grace with it, right? There is some class, there is elegance with it. So being a powerful lady.
Is this ability to get things done and to make things happen from a place of grace in class. So that's what comes up for me.
How much have other powerful women impacted your life and trajectory?
Full transparency. Not a lot. I didn't grow up with a whole lot of women role models at all. My stepfather was probably like that shining light for me. So I really didn't have a lot of the female role models that impacted me. Probably not until, and look, I was in a male dominated industry, right?
I was in financial services my whole life, so I didn't have any female leaders. Never had a female leader, if you believe that, ever. So I, I do, yeah. I didn't have female leaders. I didn't have female mentors. Probably the first space in that was moving into coaching, right? When I started taking courses from female leaders or working with female coaches, that I really got that empowerment.
I feel the same way. Like I've had powerful women in my life from a family perspective.
But in I mean I had female bosses early on, but the first couple of ones I had, I didn't relate to.
That it was like this weird, like playing the role of being a leader but not thinking you could be a leader.
Energy. And then working in sports, fashion and sneakers for a long time. And then skateboarding, I started getting a few more 'cause there were more peers that were coming up with me, but. There's been many tables where if you asked me like, who's inspired me the most until the past maybe 10 years, there probably wouldn't have been a lot of women on that list.
More women. I didn't wanna be like, than be like, interesting. Yeah. I would've listed like Shera and Gem in the holograms on that list before, like an actual person.
Like the Babysitter's Club would've been on the list before a person. Exactly.
I was named after Angie Dickinson, the police woman, so maybe, she's, but that's about it,
yeah. And I just realized that now, like how many female role models were fictional in my life more than not. Even like Nancy Drew, like all they, they weren't real, but I believe as a kid, I believed them as if they were, and just thought oh yeah, I can do that too.
That's probably a better role model than like Vernon, Shirley.
That was my, if I could laugh and have as much fun as them, that was my role model back then.
I like that. Yep. How do we get more Rin? You hit a little bit on how you've been expanding your value ladder and one thing that you keep coaching me on, which I wanna make sure people hear is how you've approached your business of securing the top of your value ladder and making that feel like you've been doing a waterfall effect.
Where I think so many people, even myself ha, have done this, of how do we do the entry price point first versus fill the top pieces? Because you've had success in going top down, you're now, you have your journal, now you're writing your book has has expanding your value letter been.
Like organically elu e evolving, or is it something that you've had a plan to do? If I hit this number, then I'll open group coaching. If I hit this number, then I'll write my book. Like how has it happened for you? It was
not like a strategic plan, honestly. I'm super competitive, so when I started I was like, okay, what's the goal?
What am I going for here? So I started with that top approach because it just made sense to me. And it wasn't until, from capacity standpoint and also pricing standpoint, right? I mean it, not everyone can afford to work with coach on a one-on-one basis. But I was seeing that need and from a capacity standpoint, it was like, how do I impact right?
And help people at a more affordable price? How do I scale my business? And that kind of led to that group coaching aspect. And then even at that, it was like, okay, that's. Maxed out. And there are some people who can't afford that. And that's okay. So then what can I get them on, this morning mindset journal and now if they're not doing that, what can I pour into them?
And that led to the book. So it's really just been like an expansion of reach to help serve. That's the easiest way I can put it.
So you said that your keywords for the year were passion and impact. Impact. You have your book coming out.
What else should we know about you for 2022 that we can help manifest?
I am going to get my MCC, my Master Coach certification, the highest certification for coaching. So I will be tackling that this year. Hope to be on that bestselling author list. And those are pretty much my big goals.
I like it. I think I shared with you the snapping for Dream clients that was happening with my client.
Yes.
We had to like, turn off the snapping and then we switched it. 'cause now she's looking for an agent to represent her. So now we're snapping for agents and that's uhhuh. I'm like, I don't know why. I think it's a hundred percent mindset plus action, right? Yes. So I'll make sure that the powerful ladies community is snapping for bestsellers for you.
Thank you. 'Cause it's such a, people don't realize how hard it is to achieve that title for a book. And it's there's a lot more politics involved than I think people realize from the outside as well. We're gonna be all helping you push that across the line. I appreciate that.
Thank you. You're welcome. So for everybody who wants to support you, work with you, figure out a way to get on your wait list for coaching. Where can they find you, follow you and connect with you?
Yes. Instagram, Angie, wisdom Life Coach is where I put out the majority of my content. I do so many freebies, zooms and lives and all that good stuff, so that's the easiest place.
Everything is easy to remember. Angie Wisdom website? No, it's just the name. So I'm super accessible and even at this level in capacity, I respond to my dms personally. I respond to the emails and I'm always happy to help and lead. So those are the best ways. Although I have to tell you, you're like I feel like you're more hip than I am.
So ask this out. I know I definitely have a decade on you. So one of my clients asked me to start a Discord Oh yeah. For her. Soon I'm gonna be able to say I am, I created my server so soon I'm gonna be able to say you can find me there. So that's pretty interesting. So fancy,
right? Yeah.
I think the bridge is TikTok too. That TikTok masterclass that I hosted with the guest expert was like drinking from a fire hose. So I think we're gonna have to like, break it down and do some more supporting things for it, but we literally had people on there who were like 16 to 70.
And it's so fascinating what's happening with those niches and the fact that you can just like, use it everywhere else, but. There's like discord and Twitch and there's so many places now it's almost people are asking for coaching on how to choose, like which ones they go into.
Yeah, it's a lot.
I feel like my mom was feeling when ATM cards came out, she was like, what? Put this card in a machine and you get money out. I'm like, what discord? What? But I'm learning. I'm growing with it. I'm gonna try it out. So we'll see. I
love that. We ask everybody on the podcast where they put themselves in the powerful 80 scale.
If zero is average everyday human and 10 is the most powerful lady possible, where would you put yourself today? And where would you put yourself on average? Oh, Kara, come on. That's like a 15 or a 20. Come on. Thank you. Thank you. Highest score ever so far? Woo.
Yeah. No we're busting scales.
Absolutely. I love
that. I just wanna acknowledge you for the impact that you've had on my life and my business. Literally we were able to make tremendous progress within I think two or three sessions that completely shifted the ability to take the business to something that worked first and then could scale and grow.
And it's just, it's so refreshing to have a coach that I can literally bring anything to. I now joke at what the list of questions are that I bring to you. 'cause there's like half business, the rest are like random life questions. I'm like, I don't know. I'm just gonna ask 'cause she'll have an answer and if she doesn't, she'll send me to somebody else.
But it's just so nice to have you in my corner and. You've literally changed my business and allowed me to do what I love and to serve the people that I love serving and to make the impact that I get to. So please take credit for all of that and add all of my people into your list of who you're impacting to.
Oh my gosh, thank you so much. That's so sweet. You know what it's like to coach amazing people, and I'm grateful that sit with me week after week and do that because there's just nothing more rewarding than seeing somebody tap into their full potential and conquer it all. It's all your credit.
I'm gonna keep giving it all back to you. Thank you.
Coming it back and forth.
Exactly.
Yeah. Thank you.
And thank you so much for being a Yes to the powerful ladies, and sharing yourself with everyone, listening, and for, not spilling all the beans, all my secrets. But I'm sure you might get a few dms and people be like, tell us the truth.
Tell me. Yeah. But thank you so much.
You're welcome, Kara. Thank you.
All the links to connect with Angie are in our show notes@thepowerfulladies.com. Please subscribe to this podcast wherever you're listening, and leave us a rating and review. They are so critical for podcast visibility. Come join us on Instagram at Powerful Ladies. And if you wanna connect directly with me, visit kara duffy.com or Kara Duffy on Instagram.
I'll be back next week with a brand new episode. Until then, I hope you're taking on being powerful in your life. Go be awesome and up to something you love.
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Instagram: angiewisdomlifecoach
Website: angiewisdom.com
LinkedIn: AngieWisdom
Email: angie@angiewisdom.com
Created and hosted by Kara Duffy
Audio Engineering & Editing by Jordan Duffy
Production by Amanda Kass
Graphic design by Anna Olinova
Music by Joakim Karud
