Episode 208: Inside a Room Full Of Powerful Women | IWD Special Panel | Coaches Angie Wisdom, Marie Garvey & Lindsay White
In this special International Women’s Day episode, Kara Duffy gathers three powerhouse coaches, Angie Wisdom, Marie Garvey, and Lindsay White, for an honest conversation about why so many women are still burned out, stuck, and holding themselves back. They discuss why work-life balance is a myth, how perfectionism and people-pleasing get in the way of leadership, and what coaching actually looks like when it's working. You’ll hear hard truths about why women opt out of their dreams and how to rewrite the rules so you can actually enjoy the life you’re working so hard for.
“It all starts with your values. If you know your values you can design a life specifically for you.”
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Follow along using the Transcript
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Welcome to a special International Women’s Day episode
02:00 Meet the panel: Angie, Marie, and Lindsay
05:00 Why Kara invited all coaches for this conversation
07:00 The trap of “balance” and how women define success
10:45 How the inner critic sabotages growth
14:10 The myth of “I can so I should”
17:20 Permission to stop fixing everyone’s problems
20:30 Making peace with being uncomfortable
24:15 Redefining leadership, ambition, and joy
28:00 What joyful success actually looks like
31:15 You’re not too late to change your life
35:45 Why fun and play matter more than productivity
39:30 The deeper reasons we became coaches
44:00 Final advice: one small thing to try today
48:00 Connect with the guests
I'm Kara Duffy. This is The Powerful Ladies Podcast. And welcome to a special episode for International Women's Day.
Happy International Women's Day, and thank you guys for being here this morning. Thanks for having me. I'm
glad to be
here. Yeah. I love to jump right in and tell everyone listening who you guys are. So I'm gonna start with Angie because I'm just gonna go around, Brady Bunch style with their squares, from my view.
Tell everyone your name, what you do, and where you're located in the world.
Yes, I am Angie Wisdom. I'm a master certified coach, author, and speaker. I am located in Newport Beach and always helping people to tap into their full potential and create that greatness. And full
disclosure also my amazing business coach.
Yeah.
Ah Marie. Hi, I'm Marie Garvey. I'm the founder of Crazy Busy Women in Balance. I help crazy busy women find joyful success and really learn to live in their power and own their voice and have a better life. And where are you located?
Manhattan Beach, California. Perfect. Thank you Lindsay.
Hi, I'm Lindsay White. I'm the token Canadian in the group. I'm located in Calgary, Alberta, and I'm a professionally certified coach, and I coach female leaders, specifically female founders. So that they can be really powerful and effective in their small businesses. But I'm also an organizational development expert, and so I help those incredible founders build inspired places to work, beautiful cultures, people, program process, so they make a great profit.
Love it. Okay, so when we were putting this together, my team was like, why do you want a group of coaches for our international women's month and day conversation? And I'm like despite the fact that we run a business called Powerful Ladies, and it's four years today that we launched this podcast. So we've got four years over 200 and something episodes out in the world.
We've done all these events for six years now. 'cause Powerful Ladies is older than the podcast is, or maybe it's even seven now. And I go, I still run into women who are. Not taking advantage of the tools and resources that exist in the world. They're nervous to get a coach. They are hanging on to mindsets or habits or thoughts that are holding them back.
And I'm like, what if I put a room full of these amazing, powerful coaches who are dedicated to transforming people? I want that conversation. I want the peer-to-peer conversation of how do we solve this problem and get everybody that you can have everything you want, both. I love that. Love it. So when I say that to you guys, like what, what pops up for you guys?
Is this, are you seeing a need for this? Are you seeing transformation happen? And why do you think people are still stuck?
Angie, you can go first. Okay. Yeah. Marie go.
Oh I think the pandemic did a job on women, like nobody's business. And they're working harder and and more of the responsibility at home. We're seeing study and after study of women at a higher rate thinking about stepping back or stepping out of their career because they just can't handle it and they don't know how to do it differently.
And living in that black and white of, I've gotta quit my job. Or I've just gotta survive and to show women options is, I think, so important.
Yeah. I agree. And it's interesting, the word balance comes to mind and Maria, what you're saying about this black and white, I remember specifically, I've had so many female clients say to me, is there really such a thing as balance?
Does that exist? I don't really believe it. You can't have it all. That's the mindset that you know they have and the story that they're operating off of. So the need for it is real. I think we're stuck because we're playing that same story and narrative over and over again.
And, I love that we have a panel like this of women who have the power to go, let's get you unstuck, let's change your story so that you can start actually having the balance and having it all.
Yes to all of that. I think one of the most important ways that I have been shifting that in my own life.
Because we are all, we are she is us. Is actually to change the lexicon, change the language. So I don't talk about work-life balance anymore because I think that is the language and the metaphor and the myth that actually keeps us stuck. Everything has to be equal. Everything has to be balanced.
Every piece of the pie has to be the same. And if I don't have that, I'm not perfect. And I'm a failure. So I think this language, 'cause we hear it a lot. Oh, we have to have worklife balance. Worklife balance. Why do you have worklife balance? You shoulda have worklife balance. Just have a pedicure.
You'll have worklife balance. It's total bs. It's garbage. I talk about worklife blend. Let's integrate it. Let's create a masterpiece of color and shade and texture so that there's space for us in all of that. For me, because I'm the one that makes all of that work. And so I think the first thing we can do is absolutely shift the language, drop the myth, call out the BS, and then redesign from there.
I love that so much. 'cause that's exactly my mantra, is it? It's total BS and it's the wrong focus. It's if you're aiming towards that, you're just, it's like perfectionism. It's never happening. Yep. You gotta balance yourself and you gotta put yourself at the center of your life and making decisions based on yourself and not pleasing everybody else.
And then watch everything change.
Yeah. A hundred percent. It's funny because the word balance, I always say define balance. Like in theory people think, oh, balance like this perfect, match of each, but. I ask people like, what? What does balance look like to you?
Do you want 70% work and 30% personal?
Then that's your balance. So it's about defining, you can't have this ideal balance for somebody else that you're searching for, but define your own balance and then we can create from
there. One of the things that I'm constantly coaching people on is just the, automate, delegate, delete.
And that delete piece, I think is where so much power comes from. And I feel like I've joked with Angie that I think half of my job is just giving people permission. Like I, there's, I'm not giving anyone like the secret formula. I'm just saying, yes, you can. Sure. Why not? Let's figure it out. Yeah. And even bringing my own life.
Know I'm gonna ask you to share the name of what we're doing now, Angie, 'cause I'm gonna get it wrong. And it's not the Rubik's cube. 'cause now that's stuck in my head. But we were talking about how I am so hard on myself in areas and it's, I think, stickier when you are in a coaching position. 'cause you try to start coaching yourself and you're like this isn't gonna work.
I can't do it myself. So I bring it to Angie. And we were really looking at how. Even in all the access I've given myself and the things I've moved out of the way, we're always still back to how are we judging ourselves and how are we choosing that? And I think all of you have mentioned what is your own balance?
How are you defining it? And Angie was helping me with the, what's it called? Grading rubric. Thank you. The grading rubric. So like really give, look at what I was taking action on and not, and was I even measuring myself against things that I wanted, like we're so good at doing the shoulds and what other people are and oh, like that business looks like it should work.
Let's copy that one. And then we suddenly realized that we're grading ourselves on somebody else's rubric in versus our own. How do you guys help? People in general and women in particular reset that. 'cause like I think everyone gets like, yeah, like I should choose balance my way. Like how do we get into that?
Like how can people start that who are listening right now to take steps in that direction?
I think you have to first look at, if we're speaking in form of that grading rubric, is look at how you are currently measuring it. What is your definition right now? Because that's usually where the opportunity lies.
And for you in our conversation you are easily able to say okay, here's where I'm giving myself points for. And then when you look at that, you're like. Oh, wait I don't care about points about making cupcakes for school. I don't care about points for volunteering. For this, we're allowed to say no, but we have to first look at how are we grading ourselves right now so that we have the awareness to know where we wanna change.
And I think to add to that real quick, you to go deeper. In the example of with myself that we were talking about. When we listed out all the things that I was like giving myself guilt for and giving myself F grades for, when we actually looked at it, I was like, oh, I am taking actions there.
Dammit. It might be like a C plus. There are B, but it's not an F that I was giving myself. So yeah. Side note for that, very important.
It's so true though, Carol I do a lot of work with my clients on that inner critic, the saboteur, the itty bitty shitty committee, whatever you wanna call it.
I had a client that called it Statler and Waldorf, the two little old guys from the Mup show. Great metaphor, right? I think it is hard if you cannot get a grip first and foremost on what that voice is saying to you. And be real. And that is scary work.
We'll do a lot of things as human beings to get away from that negative self-talk to the point where we will drug ourselves or drink ourselves to insensibility, right?
So getting up close and personal with that conversation and then, and understanding what it is saying and then. Using some really cool tools. We all as coaches, have stuff we love to use in this space.
And building that mental muscle so that you can quiet that conversation, that when you hear it, you view it as a signal that something's up as opposed to a beat down.
And when we can get a grip on that conversation. Then we can talk about what do I actually care about? What are my real values here? What are the things that are the most important? How do I do more of that and less of should?
Yeah.
How do I operate from a place of intentionality and less from a place of guilt?
I'm so glad you talked about values. 'cause that's really such a core, like what we work with the women in our group is, looking at their life and saying, what do you value? You know what, how do you define yourself? What, at the core, what do you know truly about yourself?
No doubt about it. And how does that match up with how you're living and the, scores and all of that stuff. And that when we really define ourselves and own our identity, 'cause so often women are owning identity that somebody else gave them.
And it usually happens really young.
We call it the good girl. In our group it happened really young and then through their career they were told to be less than this or do that or this or that. And then they never actually questioned whether that served them. And at the point we don't work with 30 year olds, we work with more than more like 35 to.
55, it's you're a grown woman. Like what? What's serving you now and who are you now? Versus all of that. Now you can take a clear-eyed look at it and say, is this serving you? What are your values? Who are you? And then reintegrate an identity at this stage in their life.
Yeah, I love that. What is something that. Each of you realized that you were doing that wasn't a part of your path? Is there, what's the moment that you realize, oh, I'm doing this and actually that's not supposed to be mine, like that's for somebody else.
Oh, I got a good one. Okay, go ahead. I was working in an HR people and culture team.
I was working with senior leaders, C-suite executives. I was a shit Sherpa. I was carrying everybody else's crap. I would have an executive come to me and be like, I have a people problem, fix it for me. And I would put it on my back and I would keep climbing up the mountain. And I was also at the same time working for a hideously toxic boss, narcissist, sociopathic, gas, lighter, like so many of us.
And I quit in the middle of a conversation with that person because I recognized that I am not intended to be somebody else's shit. Sharpa. That is not my job. I am here to be supportive. I am here to be co-creative. I am here as an expert and I am no longer being valued for any of those things.
In fact, I'm being denigrated for that work, and I left. And I haven't looked back. Like I just, I fundamentally just, I didn't set it down. I blew it up. Yeah. And walked away. It was like mission impossible, right? Like you have the explosion behind your head as you
walk through
the
scene.
That was my moment.
Yeah. I was done.
I love that. Hearing yours from like a work perspective. I think mine for me was was definitely personal. And I say this is, this was one of the big moments that changed coaching for me. Up until this point. I was more of a performance coach and taught people how to get over the finish line, even if you had to lose a limb.
And one day my husband said to me as I was carrying in all these groceries and trying to make it through the door, he's what are you doing today? He was going surfing and I'm like. Oh, doing my thing. And he was like, what thing? And I'm like do the laundry and like all these things.
I had this idea that once I became the wife, once I became the mother, that my values were, keeping things tidy, doing the laundry, keeping the fridge stock. Like I just took on this imaginary identity. And all the values that I once loved before marriage and kids had just gotten pushed out because this is what I thought I was supposed to be.
And this is Brady and maybe Alice actually. It was like I took on that identity and was like, oh my gosh, what am I doing? Going back to those values what do I love to do? I've gotta get more of that back in my life. I'm on the wrong path.
Yeah. For me, I think I was living on this mantra of I can, so I should I was so high skilled in fixing things 'cause I, I do crisis communications for a living and executive coach for communications.
And I'd go to a, I'd go to an event that had nothing I'd paid $500 for or something to see the speaker, and I'd be watching that. They don't have enough seats, and I'd be like, does somebody not see that? I think I need to get this person a seat? I can't believe they don't have a seat. I'm like, I wasn't listening to the speaker that I paid for.
That was my experience. I don't even know these people and I'm worried and going to fix that. They don't have enough seats. I was Queen Fixer and I was taking everything on. Nobody was even asking me and I was taking it on. And then when people saw that I could do it, it was like, oh, then here you go.
So really stepping back and like staying on my side of the street. What am I responsible for? My side of the street's gonna look fantastic and it's gonna be landscaped. I'm gonna have beautiful like benches for people. And then on the other side of the street I can coach and I can encourage and I can even prompt, but I can't go over there and clean it up and plant it for them.
And when I realized that like my entire life changed, it took a lot to change and reprogram myself 'cause it was so embedded in me.
The other thing that I think is so critical in people stepping into what's possible for them is being willing to be really uncomfortable. And my experience is that when I tell people what we're gonna have to do to cross the street, or for them to cross their street and clean it up, they're like, Ooh, I don't know if I want it that bad.
So how do you guys, what is your advice on. Encouraging people to step into that uncomfortable space, and why is that valuable from your perspective?
I think there's two pieces to that. One is mindset. How do you view being uncomfortable? It's just a mindset. You can look at being uncomfortable as terrifying, and causing fear and anxiety, or you can look at uncomfortable.
It's this is exciting. I'm getting ready to grow. I'm getting ready to change. So you have to choose the mindset that you wanna associate with that term. Instead of it being negative created into a positive. But I also love that you brought this up. You've done 75 hard before, Kara. Yep. And I'm a big fan of always having people do hard things.
Not because, we need to do hard things, but it keeps us in that mindset of I can do hard things. I'm capable of pushing myself and getting over obstacles that seem really difficult.
Yeah. Love that. I recently learned I've been doing a lot of work with some indigenous strategy and and an organization here in Calgary that has an incredible relationship with our in indigenous relatives here in the area.
And one of the stories, and I'm not gonna do it justice, is around moving from the old camp to the new camp. So of course in that in indigenous nomadic way, you would move from a summer camp to a winter camp. And that in fact, in the preparation and the movement of that, it is uncomfortable.
You have to pack, break everything down, pack it all up, everybody has to get moving and you and that, in that space it's hard. It can be hard work, it can be uncomfortable, maybe you don't really know where you're going. And it's when you get to the new camp. You find new things you find, particularly in the aboriginal space, you would find new food, you would find new shelter, you would find new exploration new growth, new opportunities there in, in the new camp.
And that kind of metaphor that there's discomfort perhaps in the middle. The traveling takes its forms. But the destination can be really interesting and unique and add incredible value. And so that's something that I've really been thinking about in terms of how to articulate why that discomfort has great gifts and opportunities in it.
I think God, I love everything that's been said. I think also it's like the pain gain. It's, what's the payoff for continuing? There's gotta be a payoff. We don't continue, we don't continue to live in a certain state unless there's a payoff.
And it's usually safety, right? Then I won't be hurt then I won't fail. Whatever. And to really, we talk a lot about dreaming, in our group because so few women have dreams anymore because they're so stuck in survival mode and they're just getting through the day and they've got so much on their back.
It's a to-do list of life. And I'm gonna get that to-do list done. It's never done. 'cause more things come on. And so it's what's the payoff? You could stay exactly where you are and be trapped in a pretty good life. Or, it's like that pain gain that was taught to me when I was going through my own journey.
And I think it's peeling back those layers, but at some level it's up to them. You can show them and you can do the pain gain, you can. Talk about reframing at some point they gotta take the leap on their own. And I think that's what coaches get everybody to do is get to that place where they can take the leap.
But ultimately it has, it's a choice. It's living in choice. Yeah. And it's always that moment where, you gotta give them some tough love and just be like, you know what, we're at the precipice here and I can't push you over,
we're making coaching sound really hard and uncomfortable.
No and I definitely don't think that's what it is at all. Like my experience is the complete opposite. And I, what I think is really interesting is that most people. I'm gonna guess this is universal for all of us. We people come to us to be clients or to join our groups when they are in pain and suffering mode.
They're like, I've had it. I'm done. I can't do it. Like we wait until we get the throttle all the way up before we ever ask for help. And what I think is so interesting is that my relationship with having a coach and coaching people is that yes, there might be uncomfortable conversations. Yes, there might be uncomfortable tasks to take it first, and the results are a lot more fun.
Like I want people to know that like the fun part is possible. It's not just about performance metrics. It's not just about more money or more time management, or even like living into your purpose, which can feel really heavy. There's this fun element to it or ease. Like how does that occur to you guys in the work you do, and is there a specific example of a client or even yourself that's like really stepped into that space where it's not even result driven anymore?
It's just like the aha kind of space?
Yeah. It's one of the things I love about coaching so much is that, yeah, there's elements of hard work. The self-reflection can feel heavy. But what's available on the other side is absolutely remarkable. This is a recent example started working with a female leader in an organization.
She's feeling all of the things we just talked about that, the work is heavy. The home, the second shift is heavy. Feeling all of the shoulds, there's some cultural aspects for her. Are that are leaning on her pretty heavy and in a, about three or four sessions able to really support her in putting down some things.
And Marie, to your point, dreaming again, like what's possible instead of what I should be doing, how is this serving me? How is it not serving me? And what do I want more of? So what do I gotta set down? What do I gotta walk away from? And some of it's just as simple as expectation, right? That it's not gonna be perfect.
That, you can't do it all, all at once 'cause you are only have two arms and there's only 24 hours in a day. But like the relief at of for her that she's sleeping through the night again, like that's a pretty important indication that you're carrying some stuff. If you're waking up at three in the morning to worry and to ruminate.
She's enjoying her work. And enjoying the time she spends with her kids because she sees the blend of the two things working together as opposed to being at odds that is transformational for her, and it's so gratifying to be a part of that.
Nice. You'd
love to
Go ahead, Marie. I'm just so inspired I could be here all day to talk to you.
I think for us, it's really the journey that we take women on is fun because it's really reclaiming themselves and really. Learning that. I just had a client the other day. It's about giving them permission to actually be who they are in the world and drop the mic and be a little messy and say it wrong and ask for forgiveness, but also slay it.
Like one of my clients came back to me just last week and was like. I've been, I talk about living with a blanket over your head or turning down your light and it's so exhausting and it's, I want your light fully on 'cause that's how you were made and let's go see what happens when you do that. And she was like, oh my God.
Like people like me more and I'm less exhausted 'cause I'm not self-edit. Editing my inner critic, like you talked about, is not, is silent. But more importantly, I'm just, I'm living in the moment, like I'm just being me. I'm not second guessing myself, and it is a hell of a lot of fun. And I forgot that girl, and she's out to play again, and she's fun.
And I used to be fun and I'm fun again. And it's just this moment. Yes, the self-reflection, like you said, we gotta peel back the layers and we do have to do things differently. And that can be painful if you choose, or it can be liberating. And I think ultimately when you see them, like their shoulders go down and the light and their eyes comes back and they're just at ease and comfort in their skin, it is just such a gift and it's such a powerful thing to see.
And then they go. One of my clients at the week one was like my dream is just to not feel so exhausted all the time. That's all she could come up with. And then she's you know what? I think I wanna write a book. And you go, girl it was just, and she has a big job and she's I can totally do that because she's not wasting all this energy on trying not to, trying to be something she thinks everybody wants her to be.
Yeah.
Those are both really great. I love the inspirational stories about clients. It's why, part of why we do what we do. And, I still go back to the mindset part. We can say that the work is hard, but it's how we perceive it. Oftentimes, I love clients to, create. I wanna focus all on the end result.
But if that's where the joy is and what we're doing and that kind of overshadows the work we need to do, then we've gotta look at that. It's not always, whether you're trying to get healthy and you don't wanna go to the exercise class, you're trying to grow your business, but you don't wanna do the marketing and the business development.
So don't focus on the actual action. Focus on. The end result. Okay. I, am choosing to be healthy. I am choosing to create a thriving business. I'm not choosing to get on the Peloton or choosing to make cold calls, right? You're choosing that result. So I think that puts more fun into it.
And the other side of it, I like to tell clients all the time. If this work is hard, is it easier to stay where you're at? Yeah. And that's a quick reframe. They're like no, I think I'll take the work route, please. I love that.
Now I feel like I almost have smoothed into this semi masochistic space where like when something is gonna be hard or I get challenged in a really powerful way, I'm like, Ooh, we're gonna grow.
Yes this is terrifying, but it's, we're gonna grow like I am. I am almost encouraging it and I think. It's interesting to see how it, excuse me, it switches to be something that you are excited to see, show up and then to even pivot further. To like just start laughing at I think I've just shared with some of you that, like when I was taking Juujitsu classes, which I have never taken a martial arts class before.
I was such a novice, looked so ridiculous, couldn't even do half the things that were like in the warmup. And so I'm just laughing at myself like I'm a maniac because it's so humbling and such a great perspective to be doing something that you're not good at because you can't do anything else but go back to being like six or seven or eight.
And I think we forget, especially in women, there is such a lack of play. Like it's just. It doesn't exist. And I'd rather people have more play almost than profit at this point. Because to your point, Maria, like where's that light and where's the reframe that, the mindset shift, Angie, it's like we have to, why are we here?
If we're not having fun, why are we here? Exactly right. The post-it. If it's not fun, I'm not doing it. It's stay on my monitor
all day long. Yeah. When did we stop having fun every day? Like where was that commandment?
One of the things that I think is so critical and I'm using like the royal We, but 'cause I include myself in this, is that we need to redefine and be very clear about what success means.
We've talked about that, but I think it, it is imperative to get crystal clear on that value that we all have, which is success. We wouldn't be here, we wouldn't be doing this work if we didn't all believe that. And for so many people, success equals money equals the dollars in your bank account.
And that is the metric. It's one measure. How else are you defining success? And Kara, I love it. Part of being successful is having fun every day. Angie, part of being successful for your client is getting on that peloton and feeling that energy level shift, right? Like that. I think that's so important because our definition of that value becomes so incredibly narrow.
Yes.
Yeah, no, go ahead. I'm just inspired. I honestly I say, always say that my company, that I'm on a mission to change the way women experience success.
Yeah. And to
find joyful success. Because they don't ever, we don't ever put joy and success together as women. It just found, and so many women are holding back what they really can do because they're in this tug of war of life and work, and they think if they go after that big job, they're gonna have to give up more on this.
And it's just drop the rope and let's redefine what success means. You get. Pick. You get to pick, you get to step back if you want. You get to go forward, you get to take a left or a right, you get to do, you gotta be in choice and joyful. Success is it's liberating. And what does that look like for me?
It looks very different than any, and that's what's so fun when each woman comes in there so unique and what they choose is so different and they get to find the joy in, in being powerful. Love it. Which is another thing women have a real hard time with.
Yeah, it's, that you're talking about defining it, which is so important.
I'm sure you all experience this clients come to us and they want something. I want the success, oh, I want financial freedom, I want balance, I want peace. Like whatever they want. They have this definition borrowed from someone else, maybe through social media, maybe through reality of tv, who knows, maybe from childhood.
But it's about defining exactly what that means to you. And I love that we're talking about success because the tagline that I use is, create meaningful success. Yeah. And a life that you love. And when we talk about meaningful success, that means that you have to determine what makes it meaningful for you.
There is no oh, we have to check this, and this for it to be success. Define it how you want.
Yeah. And then it's okay to want that to be financial success. Yeah, absolutely. The title for me? Title, right? Like I, yeah. That I want the corner. That's okay. Because I know for me that has, that's been a narrative for me in the past.
And I think for many of us, we have to be all right with the yeah, I wanna make this kind of money, I wanna have this level of role. I want this in my job title. It's okay to ask for that and go get it.
Yeah. And have fun
doing it. Have fun doing it
as long as you want it. Yeah. Yeah. Go.
I feel like it's so hard these days in terms of everything that we're exposed to. I'm aging myself, but if you think back to, when, I don't know, I started my career in the financial industry, 27 years ago. We didn't have this comparison. We didn't know what success looked like other than, the guy in the corner office or something.
We could only see what we saw versus now it's everywhere. What does success look like on social media, on TikTok, on the news on this that we're constantly, stealing somebody else's definition of it.
And I think also the, I think another challenge is. Is it too late for me?
And people think this at 21, 35, 56, 82, like there's this lie that I'm too far down the road. I just need to accept it. So what do you guys say to when people can have the life that they want?
I don't even think that is like a lie. I think that's a comfort excuse. I think that is the reason why people are like I can't do that because it would be really like scary to go towards what I want.
But I don't think it is ever too late. I had a client a while ago she was 56 years old and she went back to school to get her degree in psychology and now has a thriving practice. Yeah. So it's never ever too late to
find joy. Yeah and the sign behind me is something my dad used to say, and it's actually what the core program is called Dream Big Revise often.
And I worship that because life is gonna hand you curve balls, right? And what are you gonna do with them? But also, what am I wanna do next? How can I, okay, that dreams come and maybe it looked like I wanted it to look like, and I'm gonna live it for a while, or it didn't look anything like I thought it would, and I don't want it anymore.
What comes next? How can I dream even bigger? And revise always and check in with myself. Instead of living something else that other people are, it's supposed to look this way, so I should be happy to really, go after it. It's never too late to have the life you want. And I think that, I loved what Angie said.
It's an excuse. You know it, it's an excuse. 'cause if you believe that, then there you go. It's true. Yeah.
Isn't that exactly it? And I love to do that with I had a new client yesterday. I happened to be a man because I do, I work with men as well, but that was his thing. I'm pretty old.
I've been doing the same thing for a while. Just not saying that quite out loud, but pretty close. And my response to that, you are only too old if you wanna be, you only are past, you only have a past due date if you, that's what you want it to be. Is that really what you want?
If that's what you're choosing as you both have articulated, if you are choosing that right now, I'm in the right space, this feels good. That is super cool. If you are picking that on purpose, fill your boots.
But if you don't want it to be, then the only thing standing in your way is your own conversation.
So let's figure out where that's coming from and tackle that, and shift that mindset to Angie's Point. But that is the only thing that is causing it to be too late.
Absolutely. And I think what I want women and everyone listening to know is that like we need you to step into your greatness.
So if you don't choose it for yourself to start, can you choose it for the rest of us please? Can you choose it for your kids, your families, your friends, your community, your colleagues, the people on your team like. I, the, what's underlying my desire to help people wherever they wanna go is that I need more people shining their light bright, like you were talking about Marie.
There's so many problems that the world needs to have solved or that we can improve. And most of the problems that we have today, we have answers. There's very few things where we're like nobody on this planet has any idea how to do this. That's just not true. Like most things have some sort of solution or path or if not the 20th step, the first 10 steps that no one's still doing, and.
I look around, I just see all of these people who are so concerned about things that do not matter, that they do not want. And I'm like, if we got married, all of that out of our spaces, like what could we actually create? There's so much opportunity and possibility. So I guess I'm inviting anyone listening to step into that as soon as possible because there's a lot of work we all gotta do and it doesn't have to be at this grand.
Changing the world scale, but can we change your house? Can we change your street? Yeah. Like it the impact is the same level of significance from my perspective. So when you think about why you've gone into coaching, like what is one of those under like the seven layers deep, what's one of those deeper things you're like, I'm doing it because of this, and that's behind the scenes for the actions that you're taking?
I.
I want nicer people around me. Yeah. I'm gonna be really honest here. I want to walk around and have people be joyful and filled with passion and love. Like you all know what it's like to be around people like that. And you probably the same thing I do where people say, you're so lucky because everyone you're around is like filling themselves up.
And working towards greatness. And it's true. And it's gosh, imagine if we were to walk around out there and everywhere you go, people were living to that caliber and enjoying their life that much. That is my selfish reason behind coaching, because it's possible everyone can walk around tapping into their full potential and living their most joyful life.
Yeah.
Yeah, I do it because I, I know the impact that female led businesses have on communities and economies, and fundamentally, if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. So if I'm a female founder, if I'm a female entrepreneur and I am not, as Angie said, living fully and living joyfully, and really authentically leading myself and my business, and my family, and my team, and in my community.
Then I'm not doing it. And the ripple effects are remarkable.
Because if I
have 20 people in my business and they are being led by me effectively, they're gonna, I'm gonna grow them as leaders and they're gonna grow other leaders and the like, it is underneath the surface. Those ripples just continue to grow inside and outside my business, inside and outside my family, inside and outside my community.
So that's why I do it.
Oh
my goodness.
For me, I know this is gonna sound lofty, but I really believe that if every woman turned on their light to the maximum capacity, we could change anything in this world. And if women stood up and got comfortable with power and leading at their maximum capacity, the world will look remarkably different.
And so often people are working really hard to, quiet women's voices and women oftentimes believe it. And if we can change that and let women be who they are and shine their light, I think that we're more capable of handling complex issues and leading other people and collaborating with other people to come to that light.
Yeah. When we look at leadership and the way it's transformed and it's currently transforming, with all the diversity and everything that's going on in the workplace, women are more suited for handling that type of leadership. 'cause they're collaborators, they're intuitive, they bring people in.
It's not my way or the highway kind of dictatorship leadership that used to be, and that worked for a while. It's not what the world needs anymore. It's not what companies are recruiting. But oftentimes women want, don't believe that they can earn that role. Or take on that role. And so they're not getting the leadership positions plus some society stuff, but o oftentimes they opt themselves out.
Yep. And so if we could get women leading and being comfortable with light and power and their own light and power, I think everything changes. And I know that sounds lofty, but I believe it with every fiber of my being.
I am totally right there with you, Marie, and I think all of what we said around the reason, they all come to a center point.
Yeah. Whether we're talking about women leading and turning on their lights or, joyful women-owned businesses, or just happier people, it's all about everyone showing up. Who they are with their full potential, with their lights on. So that we just create a much better world.
Yes. Yay. Yes. And I think women could do that because people follow us because we're heart led in so many ways.
And it's authentic and it's, there's trust there. And I think that, I think it's happening. I really do. I think we're in this sea change. And it's gonna be remarkable. And any little step or pebble I can put in that ripple effect is something that gets me up in the morning.
The one thing that kind of jumped out to me is we're all giving all this like amazing insight and we're empowering people and inspiring them, but I think the problem that happens with women is that it just seems so big.
Yes.
Oh my gosh, like, how am I supposed to find this joy? Like how am I supposed to light my light? All of this. Is there a way that we can incorporate look, don't look 12 steps down the road. Let's just start with this one thing. Can we each give one thing that people, oh, I love, that can like, do right now to step towards that joy, to step towards their light so that they've got a real action item and aren't just going, wow, that's really sounds great, I love that.
I love that. I,
yes, absolutely. Do you wanna start, Angie, with your one thing? I
would say. Look at your values do a values assessment. I'm happy to give one for you to post Kara, but understand what fills your cup, because when you know what fills your cup, you start saying yes to the things that are important to you, and you start saying no to the things that aren't.
And that one bit of alignment right there starts to create joy in your life every single day.
Amazing.
Thank you,
Marie. The one thing that I would love for women to do is ha change the way they start their day. So don't look at your phone. If you have, if you use it for an alarm, turn off that alarm, set it down, and take three deep breaths.
Name three things you're grateful for, and set one intention for the day. And if you forget to do it when you wake up, do it. Somewhere. But honestly, getting quiet and setting your day in that way has a remarkable shift. And when you do it for seven days straight, you will see the shift. And the intention could just be, I'm gonna be focused today, or I'm gonna be happy today, or whatever it is.
But it's three things you're grateful for. And taking three deep breaths and one intention for the day. Love that. I
am a hundred percent doing that. These are both awesome. And so now I'm like, oh, how do I I think one of the most powerful things, and I'll offer this because it was impactful for me, is, and I'll, Carol I'll send you the link, is spend five minutes and go do the Positive Intelligence Saboteur assessment.
It's free online. Find out who you're up against. Find out who that nasty little voice in your head is and what they're saying to you. And the lies. The lies that you're telling yourself. That, that is very insightful. It only takes a few moments. And if nothing else, it'll validate that it's not just you.
That there's a lot of other people in this world that are having that same internal conversation. Yeah.
Yeah. That's a great
one.
I would tell everyone to spend. Maybe five minutes a day. Put it, plant the seed in the back of your head. Think about it for the next week. What did 8-year-old you want?
Beautiful. I think that's a really magical age of being right on the cusp of believing anything is possible, but also having some tentacles into how the world works. And I think we forget, are we making that person proud and what do they want? And whenever I go back to that, when I'm making that.
8-year-old Kara proud. I know I'm doing the right thing, but it also reminds me of what would, what did fun look like? And so that would be my advice for everyone to go and look at.
Love it. Awesome. Awesome.
Now we all have new advice that we can use from each other too. So fun. It might've been a selfish thing I wanted to do here.
I just took in three great pieces from you all. I love it.
That's a great idea, Angie. Thanks for offering that. Yeah.
Yeah.
Part of what. Makes me, brings me peace by doing the Powerful Ladies podcast. Is the relief that there are amazing women like you who are working just as hard, if not harder than I am to hold up that space and I really am left feeling like, okay, like the more powerful ladies we're adding to this community, the more women I know that were like holding hands side by side.
And we don't need to carry the weight of these big potentially lofty, goals or selfish reasons that we're doing it. Just thank you guys so much for sharing your wisdom and your light with me and everyone who's listening to this episode and everyone that you're working with on a regular basis.
Each of you are so unique and. I'm sure there's someone today who has been like, I think that's my person. So before we wrap up today, let's tell everyone where they can find, follow, or contact you if you are the person that they've been looking for. Angie, let's start with you. Where can people find and follow you?
Sure. The name is pretty easy, so if you Google Angie Wisdom, it pops up. Instagram is Angie Wisdom Life coach. My website's Angie Wisdom. Same on YouTube and LinkedIn as well.
Perfect. Marie. Com, all the things you can find us everywhere. Crazy busy women do com. Crazy busy women on Instagram and Facebook and LinkedIn.
Marie Garvey as well,
Lindsay. Okay, I'm totally stalking all of you immediately after the conclusion of this recording. It's high voltage leadership.ca. You can find me on Instagram high volt leadership. And yeah, I spent a lot of time on LinkedIn too, so Lindsey White on LinkedIn, come and find me.
Well guys, again, thank you so much for who you are in the world and what you're doing and the impact you've had on my life. It means so much to get, to have kind of a peer-to-peer conversation today and to. Just be the example that there is so much room for everyone to be doing their thing in their way.
And thank you for encouraging everyone listening to step into their light and their power and find that joy that we're all seeking. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thanks
Kara.
It's nice to meet everyone,
all the links to connect with Angie, Marie and Lindsay. Earn our show notes@thepowerladies.com. Please subscribe to this podcast wherever you're listening, and leave us a rating and review. Come join us on Instagram at Powerful Ladies, and if you're looking to connect directly with me, visit kara duffy.com or Kara Duffy on Instagram.
I'll be back next week at the brand new episode. Until then, I hope for taking on being powerful in your life. Go be awesome and ET something you love.
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Created and hosted by Kara Duffy
Audio Engineering & Editing by Jordan Duffy
Production by Amanda Kass
Graphic design by Anna Olinova
Music by Joakim Karud
