Episode 223: Stop Waiting For Premission | Rainey Lancaster Hoag | Apple Marketer & Lifestyle Creator
What happens when you stop waiting for permission and start creating a life that feels good to you every single day? Rainey Lancaster Hoag, an Apple+ marketer, content creator, and lifestyle entrepreneur, is doing just that. She joins Kara to talk about building a brand that celebrates beauty, intentionality, and joy in the everyday. They talk about how grief shifted her priorities, the inspiration behind her new fashion and lifestyle venture, and how she balances it all with a demanding job in entertainment. If you’ve ever wanted to start something of your own, get dressed just for the fun of it, or chase a creative dream, this conversation is packed with personal development, creativity, and real talk about redefining success.
“It’s important to make the everyday beautiful. It sets the stage for everything else. Surround yourself with what brings you light and happiness.”
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Follow along using the Transcript
Chapters:
00:00 Embracing creativity in a new city
02:50 Why adult friendships matter and how to make them
05:00 Creating beauty in everyday life
07:00 Bringing southern hospitality to modern lifestyle
09:00 What Rainey actually does at Apple+
10:45 Behind the scenes of Shrinking
13:00 Losing her brother and how grief changed her path
15:00 Saying yes to the whisper of her creative calling
17:45 Building a brand while working full-time
20:00 Her approach to content creation and consistency
22:00 Partnership, balance, and choosing joy
24:30 Making space for your passions
27:00 Why powerful doesn’t mean loud
30:00 Advice from female mentors and family
34:00 Dressing for joy, not for others
37:00 The Hillary Duff fan club story
40:30 Reconnecting with her younger self
42:00 Confidence, comparison, and doing it anyway
44:00 What she needs now: community, partnership, growth
And she hands me the phone and it's Brady, this is the Hillary Duff Fan Club. Like we'd like to tell you won, like you won the national Hillary Duff contest, lookalike contest. And I was like, of course I did.
That's Rainy Lancaster Hoag, I'm Kara Duffy and this is The Powerful Ladies Podcast.
I am really excited to hear this morning. It has been such a trait to meet you as a client and the more that we meet and talk and get to hang out. The more fascinating you are. 'cause like we're peeling back different layers and getting to know each other differently and to, whenever I work with somebody to bring a brand to life, I get to know so many things about who they are and what makes them tick.
'cause we focus so much on the why, like why this matters to you. So before I jump in with all my questions, I have so many for you today. Let's tell everyone who you are, where you are, and what you're up to.
Yeah. Thank you for having me today. I'm so excited to be here. I am Rainy Lancaster Hoag. I am currently in Los Angeles California based I've lived in California for about.
Eight years now, ever since I graduated undergrad, but originally born and raised in Tallahassee, Florida, on the Florida, Georgia border in the South. But yeah, a new to Los Angeles. So moved here in August. I was in San Francisco before then, but loving it.
How has it been going from San Francisco to la?
I personally love it. I think San Francisco is great, obviously. I spent so much time there. I met my husband there essentially had so many friends and great experiences there. It's such a hub for. Technology and just a melting pot in itself. But I am loving la I think I feel more creative than ever here.
And obviously love the weather despite the rain that we've had for about four months, which is apparently unusual here. Yes. Yeah. Growing up in Florida I love the sunshine. I love just having a bit more space and. Just meeting new people and just getting a new community.
It's been really fun. It feels like I'm going on girl dates again for the first time in years, which has been, it has been really great.
I think that's something that people get so hard on themselves about because making new friends as an adult seems to become harder and harder. I wanna pause for a second and talk about girl dates, because I think this matters.
Yeah. How do you make girl dates happen? Are you walking up to people in random places being like, hi, we should be friends. Like how is this happening?
Yeah, that's a great question. 'cause I think moving here, I maybe have one, like what you would consider a best girlfriend here and a lot of.
Friends of friends or acquaintances. And so I really think it's just putting yourself out there, whether you're, say at a friend's dinner party, seated next to someone just putting yourself out there and asking them, Hey, let's, getting their information. Just it's like networking, in a way.
But flirting with girls and I think. It's almost easier to make friends stronger friendships at this age because I feel like you know where I'm at and where a lot of the women that I'm surrounded with are at now. It's everyone's really confident in who they are at this age. You're not.
I'm 29 for reference about to be 30 in a month. But I think in your early twenties, like you're like figuring out who you are, right? And when you're moving, when I moved to San Francisco, that was me. I didn't totally know who I was. I, you're insecure in that and making friends, and I think now it's like.
You know what you like, you know what you want generally across the board. And just making those connections with other like-minded women and just putting yourself out there and setting the date, being intentional. Follow up. Yeah, so it's been fun. It's been, new but very fun and I've made some great girlfriends so far here.
Really inspiring woman.
And we met because you have had this idea in your head for a long time, of something that you wanna create. Let's tell everyone about this idea and what it is and Yeah where it came from.
Yeah. So definitely still work in progress. I currently work in entertainment and marketing, which we can get into in a second, but I have always been drawn to fashion and home and lifestyle.
I grew up with a very southern environment and mother and, very traditional household, making the beauty out of everyday moments, whether it's, dressing up just because, just to make yourself feel great, whether it's making a tablescape, for a small dinner party or just getting flowers from the farmer's market on a random day.
To make your home feel a bit more inviting and beautiful and, not even just doing it for other people, but doing it for yourself. And so I'm really trying to create a destination and eventually a marketplace that can be a one stop shop for all of that. What you would wear on these moments, what you would need for to decorate your home in these moments and just advice for that kind of life well lived and making, the everyday moments.
Beautiful.
Why is making the everyday moment beautiful, important to you?
That's a great question. I think. I think it really comes from my upbringing and my mom. My mom just created such a wonderful space for us growing up. And not even that it's like nice things or anything. It's just it exudes happiness sometimes when you're creating something beautiful like that, whether it's the tablescape or florals or something, or even just like candles and stuff.
I, I it's hard to describe that feeling. But again, it's not even just checking a box to oh, I'm a good hostess, or, oh, I'm doing this. It's doing it, to make other people feel welcome and exude that happiness, if that makes sense. No, it for, to me it totally
does.
There's, yeah, we can choose things to be however they show up. Or we can choose to make things as beautiful and exciting as possible, and. Having a background in, in some like urban anthropology and like how people choose to lay out cities and towns, there's such a distinct difference between how a well-planned cared about town or city feels.
Yeah. And the impact it makes, like the confidence people have, how much money they're making, the level of community interaction versus spaces that aren't beautiful. Or cared about. And honestly, it makes me so mad about LA because it could be. The most beautiful city in the world if it wanted to.
Yeah. And I don't know why we haven't decided to really invest in making it stunning, because Yeah, it could be. Yeah. And that's everyone of all places on an individual level, individual people's homes, how they present themselves. We know what amazing visuals can look like here, so why aren't we putting it into the entire community?
And everyone has a different definition of beautiful too. And that's the beauty of it. Like everyone you know, has their own distinct design style and aesthetic and what they like, what they don't like and that's so fun for me, exploring those different aesthetics and putting unexpected things, whether it's like unexpected, China with.
TIFs or florals and stuff. And I love going over to other people's homes too and seeing, their definition of beautiful and how they bring that to life too. It just brings me a lot of joy, personally.
You're a very busy woman. You have an important job with important people. Let's tell everyone quickly what you're doing so they can get some scope of how important and busy you actually are.
Yeah. Important. We'll see. But busy. Yes. I so yes, so I, after I graduated duke University in 2015, I moved out to San Francisco and started full-time at Apple, and I have been there ever since, almost eight years now, which is crazy to say. Fully on the services side, I've always been in marketing for Apple Services, starting out on Apple Music.
So I started the summer that we launched Apple Music full time, actually. We got into the streaming wars, which was very fun. Just a wild time. It felt like being in a startup at a big company and like the best way. And so I worked with Apple Music for about. Five and a half years doing partnership marketing, a lot of experiential marketing.
And then I switched over recently to the Apple TV Plus side. I work in Marketing Honor series and films, so helping bring those to life.
And are there any series or films that are out now that you're proud to have worked on?
Yeah, I think the most recent example would be shrinking, starring Jason Siegel and Harrison Ford.
Probably just one of the most fantastic series to date personally that I love so much. It's such a, such a. Inspiring series too. Have you seen it yet?
I have actually. Yeah. So my coach. Okay, good. We were having a session and we were talking about how it's so easy to get attached to our clients and to wanna push their businesses forward and like just be like, give it to me. Just give it to me. I'll handle it. Yeah. And we were talking about that and she's have you seen shrinking yet? And I was like, no. She's so when you're so mad at a client 'cause they're not doing what they could and when you just wanna help them so badly, go watch it, you'll get it.
Even though they're therapists. And sure enough, I think I binge watched the entire thing in a weekend. Yeah. Because it was so relatable. Yeah. And it's why I could never be a therapist. Because I couldn't, I can't honor those boundaries of no, we're just gonna do whatever it takes to make this happen.
And I just feel like the style of the show and the themes it's from the same creators as Ted Lasso, which obviously is such a hit and a cult favorite. But shrinking it, it's a comedy, but it's an emotional comedy. It tackles. The subjects that we all deal with every day, like grief.
Personally, I lost my older brother a few years ago, and so it was, it, it really just hit hard to, to see the way that, families evolve and people can grow and like grief will always be there, but you can come out of it and, evolve in that sense. So I just and I just love the team working on the show.
I'm obsessed with my coworkers at Apple. It's what's kept me there all these years, obviously. But the team that actually brought the show to life and Bill Lawrence and Jason Siegel and so forth, and Brett Goldstein is just such a talented group of people.
I think Jason Siegel and Brett Goldstein, they're just on my list of people that I wanna have a coffee with.
I just wanna be friends with them because I just, I'm like, I think we be friends. I like them. They're so optimistic but real. They just make things happen. And they seem to be people who like to move things out of the way for other people to look amazing as well. Yeah. And so I feel a kinship with the two of them in particular being like, what would happen if we got together?
What else could we make happen? And I, yeah. I'm just so committed to having. People with that perspective and mindset in my space. I don't remember who I was talking to recently, but she just declared, I'm not coming to the party unless it's people who are like hanging out at my vibe.
Yeah. And I'm like, yeah. Like it changes things so much. It does. Yeah. It makes me feel good that they're one degree away. Should I need to make that lunch happen? I'll be like, so rainy. I was thinking no,
I think one, one degree is maybe a, maybe an overstate for sure. But yes huge fan girl of them and just working on, something they touch just is an honor for sure.
Yeah. I was, one of the questions I was gonna ask you is. Being almost 30 is still very young. To be as accomplished as you are and not just accomplished in your career at Apple, but also gaining recognition as the content creator that you are yourself and the brand partnerships you're creating.
And to know that you are ready to finally answer the whispers that have been building in your head of do the business. Do the business. It's still young and I don't think that age has, yeah. Anything to do with like when you're ready or successful? 'cause people start things at 80, they start things at 15, like who knows?
But how, hearing about having lost your brother, did that shift changing your perspective on how you use your time and how you go after things? Was it an
amplifier?
Yeah, absolutely. I think, it, it's such a tough thing to lose someone very close to you. And he was such a vibrant soul.
And he was also in entertainment. He was a, in the filmmaking business too. And he was such an inspiration and always did what he wanted, and just like such a fun person. And lived life at its biggest, so I think for sure losing, losing someone and someone who had a lot more life to give.
Yeah. That, that changes things for you and puts it in perspective that life is short. We don't have much time. And it's we should be doing the things that we are passionate about and doing all of them, you don't have, just have to have one singular day job. I love my job at Apple, but I also am really loving, tapping into some of my other passions fashion and home and styling and just curating things for people.
It's really fun. It's something I've always done. As a hobby, I think and done with my family, but now it's fun to be able to collaborate with other brands and female founders and obviously working with you on everything. So yeah, I it's been great to finally tap into, to that whisper and voice as you say.
And start doing a little bit more in that space.
And I also love that so much of your brand is based off of. Really just wanting to share what's brought you so much joy with other people. I think so often people will get sucked into thinking that they should be an entrepreneur or should have their own business because they want to make money.
Yeah. And. One of my kind of metrics for who gets past the velt rope to hang out for coaching is who's doing it? Oh, I got
past the velvet rope. You Yeah. You passed. You didn't even know you were vip. Wow.
But one of the qualifications is why are you doing it? What's the motivation? 'cause if it's truly about sharing something that you see and comes naturally to you and you want to gift to other people.
That is a it's a different place from which all other things will become easier. It's much harder, I think, to be like, I own car washes because they make money. And you're like, great. Yeah. Are you, but you think about this all the time, like it's almost turning what is automatically consuming to you into how you get to.
Communicate and share with the world at this point.
Yeah. No ab absolutely. And I think, the greatest work and products come from doing something that you love. So it's take the money aside, right? If you're passionate about something and you're something that's. You're waking up and feeling creative and wanting to work and wanting to put pen to paper to things like that's when the magic happens, right?
Yeah. It shouldn't be just, for those other reasons, as you say.
Yeah. So you are building the Rainy Lancaster brand. Yep. You're curling the process of expanding your brand partnerships. You're building out your brand new website. All of it should be launching around when this goes live. Yeah. How does it feel's to see your vision being put to screen or paper and being built out?
It's just been great to even put time and work on this, right? I think. I think I am, I'm finding my personal successes in short term goals, versus long term. And I think that's something we've talked about a lot. It's like you have to set these short term goals for yourself, whether it's, these individual partnerships or cre you know, doing branding for something or creating a newsletter, creating a site and so forth.
I do have a lot of big visions and dreams, but, achieving those kind of short term goals have been what's best for me mentally and what's been pushing me forward. And it's just been, it's been great and it's been so exciting to see little things come to life. I'm really excited to see it all come together in full, but I'm still very, very new at this too, right?
It's like I'm just having fun. I'm doing what feels natural to me. I'm. In awe of so many female creators, case makers, curators, founders, entrepreneurs out there. I'm learning every single day from each and every one of them. Some of them friends, some of them, just follows on Instagram or from afar.
So again, I am no expert in this space yet. Like I'm, I am just trying to, follow my own passion and see where that leads me.
So for people who are listening, who are working a high profile job, or a job that takes a lot of their time as yours does, how can they balance starting something on the side that brings them joy while still maintaining all their responsibilities at their day job?
That's such a great question because you can't sacrifice, right? You can't sacrifice your day job. Especially if it's one that's very time consuming and a lot's on the line, right? Yeah. So for me it's been just, late nights once I'm finished with, my day job and so forth using at least like an hour or two every night to put pen to paper, to do research, to, listen to.
Podcasts, explore just other relevant examples and, keep building that inspiration. And a additionally, obviously weekends you just have to take the time and, if it is content creation, I think that's a tricky one. 'cause it's like, how do you feel? Successful at the end of the day, say you've worked a 10 hour job during the day, but you've posted nothing or you've done nothing on the content creation side.
And I think it's really tricky and it can bring you down sometimes and you can get into this mental spiral of ah, I'm not doing enough here. I'm not doing enough there. Or sacrificing one or the other. So I think give yourself leniency too. 'cause it's never an easy, calculation of the split time that you put into either one, but definitely stick with your routine.
Maybe dedicate a couple hours, like on a singular day every week or on a Sunday afternoon. And really start just consistently keeping up with that and then you'll see results.
And you also have to balance, I'm sure you're wanting to spend time with your husband and his schedule. Yeah. You guys travel a lot.
So I think you're just such a great example of if you really want to create something badly enough, you will find the time. Because it's, yeah. I think every time we talk you just got back from somewhere else.
Yeah. We are deep in wedding season right now, which is so great. We're seeing so many of our best friends marry the loves of their lives and such.
Great. Unique places. Unfortunately a lot of them are east Coast for us, so it's a lot of travel. We have a lot of New York travel. We're actually going to Myorca Spain in a couple weeks, which I've never been, so I'm so excited. So it's been great. It's been great, but exhausting in a lot of ways.
But we, we got married last year and so it was a lot of people doing the same for us, so we're excited to show up for them as they did for us. Is your husband from the East coast as well? No, he's actually from the Bay Area too. Yeah, so he's California. California married a Southerner.
I don't know what he was thinking.
But no. Yeah, he's from Bay Area, born and raised. So moving to LA I feel was a big move. 'cause I feel like Northern California has a view of Southern California, which I'm learning, but he's loving it. He, I think all those myths from Northern California about Southern Cal, California have been shattered.
Love that. Did you move for your job? His job? Another reason?
Primarily my job for TV plus. Yeah. So I switched over to TB plus during the pandemic when everyone was. Remote and it was with the understanding that when those regulations were lifted and we went back to the office, that I would be in the LA office.
And we had been in San Francisco for so long. The city changed a lot. We had a lot of friends that moved out to, so I think it was just time for us to try something new. So my job was the catalyst for that. And his job is fully remote luckily we had the flexibility to, to move, but yeah,
I'm loving it.
I think it's a new interesting thing that partnerships are navigating today of the roles being so up in the air about who does what. Like all the traditions have gone out the window about who earns more money than the other person. Do we move for your job, his job or her job, or, like how we're balancing. Everyday life in partnerships together has evolved so much, I think from our parents generation and of course our grandparents generation. Yeah. For you guys, has it been a natural flow to figure out what that balance looks like, or have there been interesting conversations about what your roles are for your unique relationship?
That's a good question. I don't think. Any of the traditional, like gender roles that come into play with us. We're both very hardworking people. We both have full-time jobs. We're dual income household. I al I've never not felt supported by him. He is so supportive of me and, my journey and my career at Apple, my.
New foray into this fashion and lifestyle space too. He has been nothing but supportive of, everything that's to come from me. So it's been great and it's something I hope everyone finds in their relationship is that, type of partnership that isn't like an either or, like one of us can be the powerful one or one of us can do this or 'cause I'm sure.
It shifts naturally. Sometimes like success, each other's successes and wins. There's gonna be periods where it's one or the other, but throughout that we're always supporting each other, which is great. Yeah,
we ask everyone what they think about the words powerful. And ladies, are those definitions different when the words are separate?
And does it change when they're next to each other?
I think it absolutely. Changes when they're separate and together, which is maybe not a great thing, I think let's start with separate. So for me, lady, I think like lady in general, just being from the south, like I immediately jumped to ladylike, which means, polite, traditional, like well dressed, mannered, soft spoken nice, which.
Could be considered the opposite of powerful on its own when to me, powerful means someone who's really strong in their convictions and, the loudest in the room sometimes, but not just to be the loudest in the room. Really, inspiring others and influencing others. And I think when you put it together, it changes it and it, redefines like what lady means on its own right?
It. Means, a strong woman who not only stands up for herself, but what she believes in, isn't afraid to speak her mind, her heart, her opinions, consistent in her personal values and the causes that she champions. Knowing what's, makes her happy and isn't afraid to chase that.
Yeah.
You've got, you've had a lot of different experiences between, being inspired by your mother growing up and other powerful ladies of the South. You've had experience at a very dynamic, internationally recognized company of Apple. You have made all these other relationships with your, on your friend dates, with the brand partnerships, like you're interacting with a lot of people in a lot of different spaces.
When you look at your journey so far, are there core moments of someone reaching out and mentoring you or giving you a tip that has changed how you thought about yourself and your power that you weren't expecting?
That's a great question. I have been lucky enough to be surrounded by so many strong, powerful, influential women in my life.
Obviously, my mother, she is my best friend and just. Such an inspiration for me. My, my parents got divorced when I was at a really young age, and she was a single mom for a while and taking care of me and my older brothers and just, thinking back to that time I was very young, but she was just so strong and I feel like always such a constant inspiration for me in my life.
And, my then my parents got remarried and I've had stepsisters and then my brothers have been married and I've had sister-in-laws who have just been so inspirational. My sister-in-law, Emily, is a female entrepreneur and founder herself. She co-founded the interior design startup, the heavenly and then went on to found her own.
Children's Nursery and Furniture Company. Nurture Ann, and she's always just given me the advice to, follow my passion and don't care what other, do not care what other people think. If you think it's a good idea, if you. Our passionate about it, it will come to life and, maybe it won't be successful at times, but you'll know that you're doing what you love.
And so she's been great. And outside of family, I actually was a competitive dancer growing up I've had many dance teachers and my studio owner and my ballet teacher growing up. And I just think, I think sometimes I think back to those. Individuals and those women that I spent so much time with that really molded me into the person I am today.
Poised yet dedicated and, consistent and, and disciplined. Is that ballet you, you think of discipline? Yeah. But yeah, just I, it's, the list can go on and on of the different, women in my life that have inspired
me. The topic came up over the weekend about who we dress for.
I went to a birthday party in LA with my sister celebrity group and. I wore a dress. My sister's like that looks a little bit extra. I'm like, then we're wearing it.
And I hate that. I hate that word extra. It's it should just be normal. It's you, it's a self-expression.
But anyways, go
And it's interesting because when I after going to Burning Man, I've gone once, a lot of my friends go every year. Having gone and showing, seeing people just wear random combinations of things that they just thought were fun that day. It's like there's a lot of the opinion of like the sexiness of like festivals and things now.
But most people were just dressing the way that 6-year-old them would've dressed. If that's how they were still allowed to dress. You're like, yeah, I'm gonna wear this like fur vest with these sparkly leggings. And yeah, it was just, whatever brought you joy is it was like joy and practicality combined is what people were showing up in either 'cause it's too hot or it's cold or it just feels fun.
And I, that's one of the things that I've brought home a little bit was why are we dressing anything for anything other than joy? And because it makes us happy, why couldn't you wear a tutu all day if you wanted to? Yeah. It probably depends on the environment. We can choose smartly so we can be as powerful as we want to in different spaces.
But who, who do you dress for and how do you make your choices each day?
Ah, that's a great question. I. You know where I'm at right now. I dress for myself. I really and luckily, my husband likes the way he dress. But I do, I really dress for myself. And, we've talked about this. You can either find me in a dress like I'm a huge dress enthusiast, like self-proclaimed dress enthusiast.
I. My entire closet is dresses and I have drawers of flannel pajamas. So those are my two wheelhouses, like I love midi dresses, maxi dresses, like I just love. The way they make me feel. I love, that's just like my form of self-expression. I really love dresses and yeah, when I was little, I had this red dress in kindergarten or first grade, and I refused to take it off every single day my, I would just ask my mom to wear the red dress until finally I think people started like raising their eyebrows. They're like, does she not have any other clothes? And my mom was like, I think we need to retire the red dress. And it was just like such a terrible. Time, like when I had to stop wearing the red dress every single day.
I always think back to thousand and it's wear the red dress. Wear whatever you want and do what makes you happy. Don't dress for other people. I think I dress for other women too. Like I love I love when my friends and I get dressed up. I love.
Even on Instagram or something, if someone sends me a message and it's I love this. Like, where'd you get that? Or, I have this coming up where, what would you wear? Where would you buy this? It's that brings me so much joy that someone even cares to hear my opinion on that because I love helping other people find their form of self-expression.
But yeah. I also love lately, like the Taylor Swift Eras tour I feel is an example of Burning Man and what you're saying, like everyone's just dressing like their 8-year-old selves or wearing, sparkles or just everything. Hopefully I'm gonna go. I'm like, I would love that'd be great for me.
But yeah, I think just. Stressing for myself and what makes me feel good, what makes me feel confident and comfortable. And that's what everyone should strive for, right?
I think so. I do think that women, we dress for ourselves, but it's, we're always stressing for usually other women before men.
Because other women will like, get it. Yeah. Like when another, when a well-dressed woman acknowledges you for what you're wearing, it's the best compliment.
Oh, a hundred percent. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Not to say it doesn't matter what other people think. 'cause like sometimes it does it doesn't, but it does it makes you feel good, right?
But 4-year-old rainy in the red dress really did not care or give a shit about what anyone thought, that I was wearing the same dress every single day. It was
your uniform. It was
perfect. It was. It was.
I love going back to our 8-year-old selves, and I'm glad that you brought that up.
It's, to me, it's the pivotal moment when we still have full access to that freedom and our creativity and our imagination, and yet we also have access to and can function in the adult world. We know like rules and some boundaries. We know how to ask for what we want. It's like this perfect age and maybe it's even like the seven to 10 ish range.
Yeah. But I always wanna go back to 8-year-old me because I'm having a good day If 8-year-old me is proud. What does it look like for you to have an 8-year-old proud day?
So I think back actually to a specific story story time. So when I was, I think this was when I was around nine actually. It was like 2002, 2003 era. I was obsessed with Hillary Duff like this was Lizzie McGuire. Yeah. Era. Her metamorphosis cd. I was in the fan club, obsessed, and there was a Hillary Duff National lookalike contest. So it was challenging young women to, dress like Hillary duff, express yourself take photos, submit them to the fan club and you could.
Enter and win tickets to any Hillary Duff concert in the nation and get to spend the day backstage with her. And so this was like peak Lizzie McGuire, like movie. Everyone loved her. All my friends entered, I think the entire nation entered and I made my mom. Go to Walmart. 'cause she had a capsule collection with Walmart, Hillary Duff.
So I got the outfits. I made my mom like do my hair style. I styled a photo shoot in our living room.
Of course you did. But the,
yeah, so this is like also my like early foray into marketing I think too. I was like, mom like camp right here. We're gonna do like the poses, everything. So I made her do all that.
We go to. FedEx Kinko's. We print it out on laminated paper. I take a sharpie, I autograph it like rainy Lancaster, AKA Hillary Duff sent her a note. I'm like, you will not find like anyone else who is a bigger fan, like a bigger like X, Y, Z, just all of these things. But I really just put the work into this brand campaign for myself, for this competition.
My older brother, I'll never forget, looked at me and he was like, you are so stupid. Like you, this is embarrassing. This is embarrassing for you. This is embarrassing for all of us. Like we don't know you're doing. And I submitted it and I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna shoot my shot.
And then I waited two or three months. And I remember I was in New York City with my mom and he gets a phone call. I didn't have a cell phone then. And they're like, is this the parent for Lancaster? And she was like. Yeah. And then she like looks in the other room and they're like, can we speak with her?
And she's yeah. And then she hands me the phone. It's Brady, this is the Hillary Duff Fan Club. Like we'd like to tell you won. Like you won the national Hillary Duff contest looked like contest. And I was like, of course I did.
I wasn't even it was like so funny 'cause I feel like I've often struggled with like anxiety and self-doubt. And I always think back to this moment, I was so confident. I was like, I am gonna win this. I don't care what it takes. I'm gonna win this. My brother is wrong. So my brother was not with us, so I talked and I got tickets to her show in Jacksonville, Florida.
Ended up getting to spend the day like backstage with her and stuff. But after I got that phone call, my brother wasn't with us and I was like, mom, hand me the phone. Dial Chad. Dialed my brother and he was like, what? And I was like, yeah guess who just won like looklike contest. So again, long-winded story, but I always think back to that moment and it's 9-year-old, rainy.
I feel would be proud of me right now. 'Cause it's just listen to your gut. Listen to what you wanna do. Don't care what other people think. Don't compare yourself to others. 'cause there are probably so many other people in the space, obviously in the fashion, lifestyle space, in the entertainment space.
You're always gonna have competition, you're always gonna have people doing the same thing. And I. It's just, do your thing and do it with conviction. And that is what I did and it paid off for me. Then that is today to this day, my fun fact. And to this day, like I'm still obsessed with her.
I think if I ever, I've never met her in a non like stalker, creepy setting like that. And I'm a little afraid, like I know she lives in la I'm like, what if I run into her? Do I tell her? Do I not? But yeah, that's. I think the story I always think of, and my family loves to joke about that one too.
'cause it's just I knew what I wanted, I went for it. And sometimes I forget about her and I get lost in my own thoughts and I, my insecurities take over like anyone else. And I think I always have to come back to that moment and think about that and, just keep trucking along and doing my thing.
Yeah, there's long story. Sorry for that, but it's a funny one.
It was amazing. Please share more stories like that. There's so many things about that story that I am just over here getting more and more excited about. Yeah, because it is such an example of just going all in. Yeah. If you go all in, 'cause you were never thinking I wasn't gonna win.
So you're like, all right, so I'm going to win. No. So to win, I have to do all these things. The fact that you were put your blinders on and just told everyone what to do. You told your mom, we're doing this, we're doing this. Yeah. When you're in that space, whether you're nine or 49, people tend to be like, okay, like they just make room.
And I do also love getting to tell someone that they were wrong. That's one of my favorite things of see, yeah, you said I couldn't do it, and I did anyway. Especially when it's your older brother, you know
that like to me, and I'm so close with my older brothers, they're identical twins, but one of the twins.
He always dug into me which he claims was pushing me to be a better version of myself, which like, probably worked, but yeah. Wow, God, that, that moment was, it was pretty good just being right and just like knowing, knowing that you were right the whole time.
And people will often ask like, how do you get confidence? Or what's the difference between what you're feeling versus what you know? How would you answer that?
I think it's so hard. I think confidence comes ultimately from doing what you know, you love. I think when I feel the most insecure is when I'm doing something that maybe I don't feel as like right for me, or I'm not, completely.
Obsessed with the idea, or I really trust my gut. I've always feel like I've had a good gut, whether it's about people or projects or, things I'm doing and stuff. And when my gut's not there, that's when the insecurity comes. So I feel like just trusting your gut and knowing, what you love and what you're passionate about.
And I think the confidence will fall after that. And obviously I still have my days of. Not feeling confident doing something I love. I think sometimes you get into that mentality of comparison which strips away, I think another, I think a creator Tanks, do you know the creator tanks?
She has this phrase that's comparison is the thief of joy. And it always stuck with me 'cause it's so true. It's you compare yourself to others in the same space and you'll just be stripped of your confidence and your happiness in doing what you love. So I really try not to do that.
So trust my gut and strive not to compare myself with others. Yeah.
We ask everyone on the podcast where you put yourself on the powerful ladies scale. If zero is average everyday human and 10 is the most powerful lady you can imagine, where would you rank yourself today and on an average day?
Ooh, today, I don't know.
Talking to you, I always feel more powerful version of myself, so probably a seven maybe, because I'm. Doing this, I am doing, my, my full-time career right now. And I'm really excited about what I have coming this summer. A lot of great, exciting collaborations coming up and popups and, the launch of larger endeavors and so forth.
So I'm feeling very confident and powerful today. And then, so seven today and then average day. Maybe a five. I think I generally feel confident and powerful in myself, but again, some days you have off days and some days you have on days. So teetering between a five and a seven typically.
We've also been asking everyone this year. What do you need? What are you trying to manifest? How can we help? This is a powerful, connected community. You never know who has the next key that you need to unlock. So what do you need? How can we help you?
Wow. What do I need? I, for me, I think the most beneficial thing for me has been connecting with other females in the space.
Just learning from them, having those conversations, and I think that's been something that you have been so helpful with, is connecting. It doesn't have to be in the same space, but it's just like-minded women and building that network and, setting up those girl dates like we talked about in the beginning.
And just learning from their experience and getting their advice for how I can improve my own business and my own personal brand.
I'm really excited for your brand to launch. Technically your brand already exists in the Instagram space, but I'm excited for it to exist in its own website platform where we can all get involved. I I am someone who, my weakness is I default to practicality. I default to doing. And a lot of feedback I've gotten over that over my career has been to remember to show up as powerful as I am. And it's been a really interesting journey for me because my mother is like mega practical.
If it's if's amazing, like how that's the default. And I've always loved fashion. I worked in it for a long time and. I will sacrifice the things that bring me joy that you talk about because I'm like, oh no, we just need to get more done. Or I need to get one more call in, or I need to help a client.
Yeah.
And I love your brand for the sense of reminding us to have beauty every day for ourselves and to, it really doesn't take that much time to choose. The more fun, the more beautiful, the more joy filled option versus not.
Yeah.
And so I'm excited to have regular reminders from you about how to do it and how to do it with ease.
'cause that's what I find so impressive with you is that you do all of these things show up looking amazing every time and you're just relaxed about it. I'm like. Okay. I just wanna follow you around for one day and be like, what's actually happening? Like, how, what are these steps that I'm missing? That was
Very sweet.
That was very sweet. Because it's you don't see all the behind the scenes, I, I do find joy in honestly like relaxation sometimes in that process too. And making things beautiful. And again, like I really wanna emphasize like everyone has their own definition of beautiful, and you know what?
Brings them light and happiness and so forth. So I'm just trying to do my small part and helping people find out what that is for them.
Yeah, I love that. Thank you so much for taking time today to hang out with me to share your story. Thank you. Thank you
so much for
everyone who wants to follow you, support you work with you, where are all the places they can go?
Yeah, so right now my Instagram would be the main place at Rainy Lancaster, so it's R-A-I-N-E-Y, Lancaster. And I have a link in bio there with all my various links. And we'll be launching, this site and newsletters soon. More
to come. I love it. Thank you so much.
I can't wait to see what's happening and I'm excited to. See all of this come to life, so thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you for having me.
All the links to connect with Rainey Earner show notes@thepowerfulladies.com. Please subscribe to this podcast wherever you're listening, and leave us a rating and review. Come join us on Instagram at Powerful Ladies, and if you're looking to connect directly with me, visit kara duffy.com or Kara Duffy on Instagram.
I'll be back next week with a brand new episode. Until then, I hope you're taking on being powerful in your life. Go be awesome and up to something you love.
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Instagram: @raineylancaster
Twitter: @raineylancaster
Website: shoprainey.com
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Created and hosted by Kara Duffy
Audio Engineering & Editing by Jordan Duffy
Production by Amanda Kass
Graphic design by Anna Olinova
Music by Joakim Karud
