Episode 313: Building What’s Next When Things Fall Apart: A Powerful Conversation Series on Resiliency
What does it really look like to rebuild when life falls apart? In this special episode on resiliency, Kara is joined by four women: Anne Watson, Karen “Duff” Duffy, Michelle Jernigan, and Rup Duhra. They've lived through loss, illness, heartbreak, and transformation. Together they share how they stayed grounded, found purpose again, and made space for healing. From chronic pain to career pivots to rethinking what power looks like, this episode is a reminder that growth doesn't come from pushing through, but from tuning in. This conversation explores resilience, identity, and the daily practices that help us keep going, and keep building, when things get hard.
“With gratitude, optimism is sustainable. And if you can find something to be grateful for, then you can find something to look forward to, and you carry on.”
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Follow along using the Transcript
(00:00:13) - Introduction to Resiliency Conversations
(00:01:06) - Anne Watson's Journey and Resilience
(00:03:48) - Karen "Duff" Duffy's Story of Chronic Pain
(00:09:18) - Michelle Jernigan's Family Challenges and Growth
(00:14:20) - Rup Dura's Immigrant Experience and Resilience
(00:20:10) - Group Discussion on Resilience Strategies
(00:25:48) - Advice for Women Facing Challenges
(01:23:34) - Closing Thoughts and Connections
Welcome to the Powerful Ladies Podcast and our special edition of a powerful conversation series. Today's topic is all about resiliency and it feels to me personally, the conversations I've had with so many women the past couple of months the rollercoaster that has been business lives and personal lives and national lives at every level right now, I feel like we need to be stepping into new levels of resiliency and knowing what that looks like. And today I have four incredible guests who have personal experiences with having to overcome challenges and step into their resiliency at new levels. I cannot wait for you guys to meet them all, to hear their stories, and to hear all of their wisdom to kick off today.
Let's begin with you, Anne. Please introduce yourself, where you are in the world, what you're up to, and as concise as possible. What was the key moment in your life that gave you new levels of resiliency?
Thank you, Kara. It's really an honor to be here. So my name is Ann Watson and I live just north of San Diego in a little town called Fallbrook, where I live on a ranch here with a vineyard and animals.
And an 11-year-old son who I jokingly say I am raising a free range child. I wear many hats professionally, it seems to be. I follow where my passions take me. Primarily. I'm a photographer. I shoot food photography, I work with chefs. I am a chef myself. I do recipe development, that kind of thing. But I also am a reiki practitioner and a meditation consultant and yoga instructor and a few other things that, on the wellness side of things as well.
So really it's every day is different and I wear many hats. As far as. My key moment, I would say there's I don't know if everyone here can relate to this or not, but for me it was definitely an experience in my life that I would say there was and before and after.
And as concisely as possible, basically it was four years ago I lost my husband to terminal stomach cancer and I had walked him through that experience for 18 months. When he was diagnosed in 2019, he was given possibly only days or weeks to live. And so it was actually a miracle that we got the time that we did.
And it was through that experience that I actually found practices like reiki. So it ended up, I often call my experience walking Tim, that was his name Tim, through his experience. As the hardest and best thing that ever happened in my life because it completely shifted my perspective. And it was really about six months into his journey that I had my, what I would call awakening.
Because the first part I was very much like fighting and resisting and not accepting. And it was once I stepped into acceptance of what was happening and saw it as something that was happening for me, not to me it became this unbelievably beautiful experience of service to another soul and growth.
And yeah, resiliency for sure. So.
Thank you. Because there's so many parallels, I'd love to jump to Duff. Let's tell everyone who you are, where you are, the many things you're up to, and your before and after story.
Hey there, beautiful people. My name's Karen Duffy and I am in New York City. And it's really an honor to be with you esteemed, inspiring women today. Powerful women. If you color your roots, you probably remember me when I was on MTV or I was in Dumb and Dumber and I had this unbelievable. Good luck. With my career, I had just started off like a rocket and I was very grateful and I was having the time of my life, but when I was maybe 33, I was at the Emmy's and had an incandescent headache.
And the shocking thing is my date was George Clooney that night. And there's photos because he's a flashbulb magnet of my, before the last day I lived as a healthy person. I, my headache was so bad that I wound up flying back to New York, going right to the hospital and going right in.
They could see that I had a massive lesion in my brain. And I was diagnosed with sarcoidosis of the central nervous system and complex regional pain syndrome. I never knew it was possible to live in such a high register of pain every day and still love the living of my life. And I think the biggest moment for me as I transitioned from the old, tomboy-ish vj to the whi chronic invalid was I realized that pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
And while I'm going to live with this disease that does not yet have a cure I realized that in the medical community, they use so much war like metaphors we're gonna blast this, we're gonna kill this. You're a warrior. And I was like, no. I'm a lover, not a fighter, and I'm not gonna fight this. I'm gonna negotiate with it.
And that was illuminating and that brought me I, I was really inspired by the stoic philosophers. I was reading Marcus Aurelius meditations and Epics and Caribbean in the hospital. And I would say, although I have a traumatic brain injury, I read an entirely new brain. So in a way, like you said chaos doesn't come knocking at your door, no. It turns you upside down and shakes you by the ankles. And our job is to find a way back to ourselves. And that's what I'm doing.
And I also, what Anne said, how she wrapped up her share about getting to help Tim through that process, you've also turned your wisdom and experience into helping people through that process as well. Do you wanna talk a little bit about the work you're doing at some of the hospitals and hospice places?
Yes. Thank you. I realized that having this perspective and I was a recreational therapist, so I worked in geriatrics and I worked with people with Alzheimer's. And I realized that my skillset, working with people with dementia, that my elocution and my body, like I knew how to have people who had a small attention span, pay attention to me.
And that's why I realized that I. MTV would be perfect 'cause they were saying it was dissolving teenager's attention span. So I, as I matriculated from the world of the lavishly healthy to being catastrophically unwell, I figured, okay, how am I gonna give back? And our family, we always believed it sat on the kitchen service.
Is the rent we pay to be on Earth. The quote by attributed to Muhammad Ali. So I became a grief counselor and a hospice chaplain. And I really, every day is a gift. And what I do with it, I try and give back to the world. And sometimes, I can't be in a clinical setting because of my immune system.
So through the miracle of this box of lights and wires, I'm able to counsel people. And that is a gift to be present and to listen. Was it I have believe they said we have. Two ears and one mouth. So we should listen twice as much. And I'm a total gas bag, but as a grief counselor and a hospice chaplain, I am mute.
My job is to be an empathetic listener. And that is also that's a gift we can give is just being ears.
Thank you, Michelle. You have had a, your resiliency moment, maybe freshest out of everyone here. So let's introduce yourself, where you are in the world, how you spend your time, and your pivot point.
Yeah. Hi. Michelle Jernigan. I am in, I'm outside of Phoenix, Arizona. Been in real estate for the last 20 years here and in Oregon. I actually was wondering, Kara, I was like, I don't know how far back Kara goes to know what point I'm supposed to be talking about here. I actually, I was thinking about it this morning.
I really feel like the last five years, if I look at the last five, have been challenging. One kind of piece after another. And it it feels like such a short period of time actually, when I think about oh, just five years ago this stuff started happening and it really, these are hard things that I never thought I would be facing.
So really briefly, it got kicked off exactly almost five years ago. My husband was leading the church in Oregon as a lead pastor and there was a lot of racial division going on in the world at that time that kind of got picked up by several different things. But George Floyd was one of them, my husband was speaking about racial reconciliation inside of our church that did not go over well.
And basically through a series of a few weeks was given an ultimatum to stop talking about those things or resign. And we had completely built our life there and thought we were gonna live there for. The rest of our lives. He resigned and our life completely flipped and we moved back to Arizona where we're originally from.
And honestly, I look back at that and think, wow, I'm so grateful because of what was to come. My, I have a last year so I have an 11-year-old that has special needs is autistic, but is what we've learned now is bipolar. So we were dealing with police and hospitalizations for suicidal ideation and suicidal attempts.
And in that mist I found out that I had BRCA two. And so ended up going into the journey of prevent preventative double mastectomy, which happened just a year ago. And then three subsequent surgeries. That led me th through December of last year, so 20, 24, and those all kind of overlapped.
So I don't, it wasn't necessarily one pivotal moment, but I would say, I probably would say this kind of, this path of resiliency really. I think like life change happened five years ago and these things have, can been really happening ever since. And it's been pretty remarkable because I don't feel like on a, on the daily, I think of I think life is really hard on the daily.
But I also feel like there's so many great moments that I am really happy that I haven't missed as far as just being present in that day and being able to still enjoy little pieces even with the hard.
It's really it's almost more overwhelming when you keep feeling like you're being hit by this wave of, it wasn't one moment.
It's like it just keeps coming and the just keep coming is where I feel sometimes you get pushed to those questions of again, really, what else do you think I can handle? And there's, I can only imagine what you've discovered in being like, okay, another thing,
I probably, thankfully was probably not feeling like it was another thing I was probably living.
Now, looking back, I'm like, oh man, I'm glad I didn't connect all those dots then. It was in some ways my son went, was hospitalized for eight months in a mental health facility here in Phoenix and which was very long. And actually when I think back on that, my surgeries, some of them lined up in that period of time.
So maybe I didn't feel it the same because I wasn't, I was grateful that he was safe. And that then I could actually go and have the surgery and heal and do what I needed to do, at the same time. And honestly, he's back home. He is moved back in and doing really well.
Very hard, but doing like total different kid than he was two years ago, that's for sure.
Amazing. And then, is it Rue? Yes. Okay. Yeah. I am so excited to be meeting you today, and so let's tell everyone your name, where you are in the world, what you're up to, and what makes you an excellent contributor to this conversation.
Sure, thank you for having me on. Nice to meet everyone. My name is Rup Duhra and I am in Northern San Diego County in San Marcos, and I live here with my two little girls. I have a 7-year-old and a 13-year-old who I absolutely adore. I think my journey has been, it's, I don't think it's been one pivotal moment.
I think for me, I feel like my sense of resiliency had kicked in, I think when I was a child, and it has, I just have had moments after moments, which I'm sure a lot of you have also had. So I don't have a big. Moment until actually recently that I would define as the before and after.
I grew up, I'm a child of first generation immigrants. My, my parents immigrated from India to Canada and they went from a very hot, dry place to an extremely cold Northern California, eight hours north of Vancouver. Tiny little town. It was a, very much a it used to be a gold mining town back in the day.
My father worked as a worked in the lumber mills, my mom, washed dishes in restaurants, whatever they could do to get by. But, their experience of what education was, especially for girls, was completely different than, what it would now be. Education was, yes, it was important, but not so much for the girls.
Although I will say that my parents were different in that thinking, but it was not considered a, Hey, you're gonna go to college. It was like, okay, what trade are you gonna learn and what are you gonna do in this little town? So for me, I think having the. The thoughts that I don't want to be in this small town.
I want to do more. I want to get an education. So fighting for the fact that, hey, I really wanna go to a different town, which is a big deal for my family. To leave the family home, to get an education was huge. And I think for me it's started in childhood and just getting the education.
Then the big step was I wanna move outside of the country, which was, again, very huge for my parents. Getting married to somebody that they he was a different religion than I was. So again, it was just, I feel like I've constantly had these like little battles that just have kept on going on.
And I was in biotech for 15 years and it was not a fulfilling role at all. I did not enjoy what I was doing. I really felt that. I'm like, I want to do something more. I just don't know what. And this is where now I've landed. I have a, one of my best friends in the world is a therapist who worked with, kids that were being trafficked in San Diego. So she has a lot of experience with high trauma patients and she had started a business and I was like, let me help you out a little bit. And it suddenly bloomed into a full on business. So we are able to help by POC and L-G-B-T-Q communities, people that are marginalized through our business.
And then we also hire the same, we also hire therapists from the same populations, excuse me to be therapists for those populations. So yeah, that's been my little journey getting to where I am now. But I think for me it's more of a more recent before and after I am now in the process of a divorce.
So I think navigating that has been very challenging as well, especially having younger kids. So this is more of a recent, I think, pivotal point for me, but yeah, that's my little story.
No, I think that's great. And you're working on a daily basis with people who are discovering how resilient they actually are.
I love that you were bringing up, we often think that our resiliency comes at negative things that show up in our lives or things that show up negatively. The, first time they appear cancer, a death, a illness, whatever issue comes at us, it's oh, we don't want that.
And that's how we get our resiliency. But you bring up some great points about how sometimes choosing the harder path, choosing the thing that sounds ridiculous, is what you're supposed to be doing, is also a way that we are gaining resiliency. Everyone on this call has. Chosen something that sounded bananas at some point.
And we had to hear people in our lives say, why are you doing that? Like we were told no by so many other people around us, but we knew we had to make the left or the right turn or whatever the thing is that we were doing. And I don't think, especially as women, we give ourselves credit enough for making those brave choices when it's not up against something scary, traumatic, bad, in quotes.
So I'm glad you brought up like just leaving your town and leaving a marriage and choosing a new career path. 'cause that's also how we're gaining our resiliency. So I'm gonna open up some questions now to the group so you guys feel free to jump in. Whoever feels inspired to share first. A lot of women right now feel the most stressed out they have ever felt in their lives.
How, like what advice would you be giving to those women, many of whom are listening of just how to go through right now and all the things that we're dealing with?
I write about stoic philosophy, so that's where my head is at. And Aristotle, little, not a stoic. Aristotle said it is expected that unexpected things can happen, and I think the problem is we don't think there's gonna be problems, and the answer is always found in action.
So just, taking an action. When I was truly pummeled, roped to my sofa with grief, I lost my career, my fertility, my hair, my, everything I had, and I just, I had to start all over again. And I figured, okay, every day I'm gonna just do something for someone else. And it just became a habit that every single day I write a thank you letter to somebody in the world.
And through gratitude, Michael J. Fox says. Through gratitude. Optimism is sustainable. And I absolutely believe this. So I, understanding that yes, there are gonna be problems before I even wake up. I know I'm gonna be challenged, but again, I don't fear it and I just take action and even the smallest step can really help.
Jump in on that one? I totally agree with that. And I'm gonna go even one step further that something that I've discovered in the I actually read a lot of Vedic philosophy as well as stoke philosophy. I'm like, we just need to hang out. But I think I have this complete epiphany which is that even the word problem, I wanna like address that I. That problem. I actually prefer to call it challenge and that things so you use both words, which I know this is like semantics, but for me it helped a lot to start seeing things as less challenging or more challenging. And that the only reason that I call something a problem is due to my preferences that I would prefer it's like my resistance or my clinging to something again, that's also very Buddhist or, but that by resisting reality as it is in front of me, I'm going to be creating a problem.
And the problems themselves. This was very freeing to me. It might frustrate some people, but it's extremely freeing to me. Problems don't exist. Like it all there is the unfolding of reality in front of you that's been going on for 13.8 billion years in this universe and that it's. Coming in with our personal mind and our personal preferences that puts our desires onto that reality.
And so it, it's through acceptance. And that's what it sounds like Duff, like when you were like, oh my gosh you lost everything. But actually this was just what was unfolding and what a beautiful acceptance to step into of your reality. This is what it is now. And by not resisting it and then using it like that in what you're saying with action, it's oh, this isn't, I'm not a victim of this.
This is being done for my growth. That's the whole purpose that I'm even here in my opinion, is that I'm here to grow and evolve and frankly, I hope I never have to come back to this place. I'm like, but I wanna graduate the University of Planet Earth seriously. And that this for me when I was going through things.
With Tim's illness. It very much shifted when I came into acceptance of reality and saw it again as an opportunity. I still have, it's funny, on my phone, I kept an alarm that I used to have in the middle of the night. When he was dying, I needed to get up. And I love that you do hospice work as well.
'cause that's, I like, saw him through hospice. But I would wake up at 2:00 AM every night to change his dressings and like kind of flush his drains and all these things that he had going on. And I used to dread it 'cause it was like, ugh, this is so deeply unpleasant. And it's also exhausting and I don't wanna get up in the middle of the night.
And so I set my alarm for 2:00 AM and I keep it there in my phone as a friendly reminder that I set it every night when it went off. It's labeled time to grow. And that was what I saw. It's oh, it's gonna make me cry. Like it was just, it was a beautiful opportunity to serve the moment in front of me and raise it versus feeling.
A victim of it. Yeah. That, that for me, it's a mindset shift completely. Yeah.
Beautiful. So just to jump off of that on, I love the word action because I think that's something that really helped me. One of the things that I found out, what holds me back from being resilient is anxiety.
And the thought that, oh my gosh, like this could happen. That could happen. The, ruminating about things and all these possibilities, and then you get stuck in this like loop of, whether something will happen or won't happen. And I have found that sometimes just taking. Some sort of action, whether it's, right or wrong, you're taking some sort of action towards what you're trying to get out of ruminating has really helped.
Just I guess as an example through my divorce, and one of the things that has caused me a lot of anxiety is the custody battle, right? Oh my gosh I really, want to make sure that my kids are taken care of. What do they need? And I have 10,000 different scenarios of what's gonna happen as they grow.
How are they gonna change, what's gonna be required? Sometimes I'm just like, you know what? I can't predict the future things are gonna happen without me being able to control anything. I don't know what, opportunities or things are gonna happen for them. So what I can do is focus on the present and take action for the present.
Given the knowledge that I have today. What would I choose? And that I think has helped me that like little bit of action I can't predict the future again, but what I know right now with the knowledge that I have, what's the best choice I can make? And that has helped me like move forward, inch by inch.
And that I think has really helped me. So I love the fact that you both mentioned action 'cause I am a big proponent of that.
All of you also have children and I'm curious, how does your perspective of, needing to stay resilient, needing to stay in action, needing to keep going, even when there are days that you would love to hide under the covers and have a woe is me moment. Like how do having children, or how does having children shift your perspective on your own resiliency and. Power to take these actions and keep going.
I feel like there's not, I have five kids. My oldest is 16 and my youngest is nine. I fostered and adopted two. And get the joy of working with the state still. And I don't really honestly spend a whole lot of time thinking, I'm like, oh, I gotta be resilient in this to show my kids.
I feel like we just do, and hope, hoping that like later in life, like our kids will see something in us that they'll be reminded of, hopefully for in the future. I'll be honest, even talking about action I do feel, pretty empathetic with what's everything going on in the world right now. And I do feel, even though I have done a, I feel like a really good job inside the walls of my home I do feel a lot of I don't know what exactly to do at large. And I think honestly, my kids see me battling that for sure. Right now it's not and a good thing, like our kids should see us feeling torn up over things.
And feeling perplexed and hearing those dialogues and trying to figure out like, what is our role and what can we do? So I would say I don't necessarily always know action to take. Going off of that last, jumping off, that last question especially when I think of things probably at more of a macro level than just a micro level inside, inside the walls of my home is different than outside.
And on that point, I feel like so many women, when we're looking at things happening in the world, were like, just stop like that. No. No. Are we taking care of people? Stop it. And I feel like that's so many people's first words out of their mouth. And I'm hearing them say, because if that problem was right in front of us, we would just be like, just time out.
And I think that there's, it's so interesting to see women of different generations, different backgrounds, different even belief systems having this universal like trigger response of being like, this is not okay. And when things aren't okay, we tend to be like, let's quick timeout, pause, what do we do?
And there doesn't seem to be this like. Pause, hold on. What do we do collectiveness happening that I think is making all of us wanna shake the wall or shake the TV or throw our phone across the room because we're like, we all know that this needs a timeout and a conversation. Like, why isn't that happening?
So yeah, I totally understand your frustration of what is that other action I should be taking. And quite frankly, I hope that this counts as an action today that we're having this conversation. But I'm gonna bring it back to you guys so you can speak on the, collect the bigger actions to take or how your kids shift your perspective on resiliency.
I think
this is a great action, to be honest, having this conversation, I think I have felt as if our sense of community as women has decreased, as the generations have gone on. And the thing, the support system that we used to have that was more built in has really dwindled. So talks like this, or for myself, I joined a bunch of groups.
Just to hear other people talk and their perspective on things and sometimes just doing this makes a big difference. I feel like it gives me talking points with my kids as well. And I think it gives you a chance to vent and also see what other people are doing. So I think this is great. Conversations are definitely something that helps.
One of the things that I love is, ideas don't count without action. And Ruth, you touched on what Marcus Aurelius calls the dichotomy of control, which is we can't control what happens. We can only control how we respond. And I'm a bit older and my son is 21, and one of the actions that really carried us through was we've a rule, no tech at the table, just philosophy books. So he could read the sports section or he could pick up. Marcus Res or epic tatu. And what was really amazing was seeing him grow into somebody who was actually paying attention. It was a small act. And the reason why I was a few minutes late was 'cause I was talking to him and he was like, mom, as Aristotle said, worry is misuse of the imagination and it's just so great. Another small act is we would pick a motto for our family. Like we didn't make it a ceremony.
One of us would find a motto. Right now it's from Ralph Waldo Emerson who said, nothing great in life is ever accomplished without enthusiasm. And so we carry this, we write it on our heart, and then the three of us, my husband and my son and I go through life with this. Connection to a motto that will carry us until we pick the next one.
And those are small little actions. And I love how epic said, if you make beautiful choices, you'll make a beautiful life. So small little actions keep 'em going. And that seems to be the only remedy I can figure out for this chaotic time.
Yeah. I. I agree with that. Totally. I feel like I keep hearing when you're saying like that there's definitely a difference, I believe between reacting and responding that pause that you guys mentioned, and that's something that motherhood of a prepubescent 11-year-old boy right now is teaching me pause before you react to his prodding.
Mom, he's doing the poking of me right now. The sort of I need you now. Leave me alone and I can't decide where I stand with you and I'm just gonna be hormonal and crazy. It's teaching me surrender as well. I think that's something that life in general, it's your life is my guru.
I always say that. And that right now, just specifically speaking to motherhood and how that's taught me resiliency, but also shifts my perspective on. How I lived through things and set an example of resiliency for him. I also hope that one day my hope is that he will grow up and look back and go, oh my gosh, wow.
What my mom did for me. But without, I never tried to make a martyr of myself to him or anything. It's just this is our reality and this is what we're going to do. I also find that part of the surrender that I have found through my resiliency has allowed me to really embrace who he is versus trying to control who I want him to be.
He's, I'll just say it. He's a prodigy on guitar. He's amazing. He's a metal guitarist. We go to a ton of shows. That's like a whole other aspect of our life. It's a big part of our life. And I get a lot of messages from people who say, gosh, I wish that my mom had been that way with me growing up.
I wish that she had embraced who I am instead of trying to put what she wanted me to be on me. And I don't, it, it just seems related to the surrender that comes with the resilience through challenging times is to accept the reality of who someone is as well. And because who knows what will come of that.
Yeah, he wants to be a metal guitarist. Heck yes. Change the world, dude, do it. I'm right there. I'm gonna be in the pit.
I wanna take that for a second 'cause something that you and I spent a lot of time talking about, Anne, is how if you look for the mini miracles that are showing up every day, you can start to follow them and get bigger and bigger miracles happening.
And. You've embraced supporting him with School of Rock and going to these shows with him and letting him, do seven in the morning pre going to school, guitar sessions, but you've also leaned in on this kind of rock and metal community, and you've had all these people show up who you've never known before.
In incredible ways. So h how has following the kind of golden nuggets and leaning on community in combination, like shifted, just everything for you and Russell
Everything. I think that again, if you go in with preconceived notions of who people are or what a community is, the heavy metal world, probably to most people on the outside of it, might look a bit intense or scary or whatever you want to call it. And I have literally found a family particularly for my son of men, there are a lot of men who have stepped in and literally call him son, and want nothing more than to support him and his music.
And I think that I'm also a sound healer. That's something else that I do as part of my reiki practitioner. And there's a, I. Formula, if you will, that it is frequency plus intention equals healing. So in my opinion, I see that like that and that applies to everything. The frequency of your mind, the frequency of your thoughts, the frequency of the actions you're putting into the world.
It all boils down to intention behind it. And I have, I've seen just beautiful nuggets. My intention is to support my son in his music and in his life. And in turn, it's one thing leads to another and this beautiful community forms around you and nothing, absolutely nothing that my mind could have conceived.
It's far greater than that. Put it that way. Yeah.
Yeah.
That's when the magic happens. It's like when you get in the river and just flow with it instead of trying to steer the boat.
So Michelle, I have a question specific to you, based on your different moments of resiliency, how, there's resiliency in our hope, there's resiliency in relationships, in financial abundance.
There's so many different places that we can put resiliency. After what happened that caused you guys to leave Oregon, how did that impact your spiritual resiliency?
Yeah, that's a good question. It's changed quite a bit. When we probably are not the normal fit, I would say for or maybe we're the perfect fit.
I don't know, for a lot of churches. I feel like we just have a completely different view of our faith and what we would, how we would look at Jesus than I feel like a lot of what I feel like is what we're hearing from mainstream right now. And so in some ways it was really actually isolating.
To feel like, hey, we had this community, we just completely disappear. Gone so very quickly. Our life looks, I feel like, a lot quieter and smaller now. And that also applies to our faith. My, my husband still does does speak and does run a podcast that talks a lot about faith ideas that I don't think are as probably widely accepted from churches across the United States. But I feel like conversations that should be happening that are welcoming and loving to all people and how, and all lifestyles I would say as well. One of the things I don't think I realized prior is that role did restrain me.
And and not that anyone was saying it needed to, it just did. And so I felt like even though it was incredibly sad to lose what kind of we knew for our life I also feel like we were the most free. And honestly, I feel like I have been able to see God in a much more beautiful way than I think I would've seen or experienced just in general.
I would still call myself a Christian, but I would definitely, probably have some clarifying notes on that in conversations with people, just of what that means now. 'cause I do think it is unfortunately I think there are some not so great obviously examples out there in the world.
A lot in the United States actually right now, but. I can look back only with gratitude on it, truthfully.
And it's one of those, some of us has spoken already about how there's this spiritual transition that happens when you go through these different pivot points 'cause you realize what did or didn't work before, or this needs to get re clarified or re-looked at.
There's a couple of men I follow on Instagram and TikTok who. We're going through the evangelical pastor space and then left because they were like, what are you guys talking about? And one of them posted this really beautiful thing yesterday, maybe about the march into with the palms and everything that people talk about.
He's this was a protest. He's we were, they were holding palms because it was in opposition to what the Romans were doing. It was, and he's no one's talking about this. And we need that conversation right now in so many ways. And I thought it was so interesting to hear that story and how it's so easy for anything to get shifted and moved, whether it's a statistical chart or a quote from anything or how something's interpreted.
And it's been really refreshing to see people, I think stepping up to reclaim what. Different religions are standing for and how it's not the thing that's being discussed by whatever makes it a tool for punishment and minimization. So yeah, just a little tangent of mind, but I'll find that one and send it to you is quite good.
But I do think it's so interesting how we have all these different parts of our lives and when we go through these different moments of having to be resilient, it's also usually moments of clarity where you're like, that's out. This is in, people are out, people are in. And so much of that I think shifts and changes.
Duff, I'd love to jump to you because when you had your before and after moment, how did your community change with that? Going from, invited to all of these things surrounded by all of these celebrity people. All this stuff is moving the, modeling careers going crazy, how did your community adjust and shift, because I know so many of those people are still such close friends of yours today.
It's been incredible. And I think I really love what you said earlier about reframing the word problem into an opportunity and it was, it's, it was very embarrassing and I think this was not a logical response, but I felt deeply ashamed that I was extracting all of the resources of worry from the people that I loved from my family and friends. And and that was something that I had to get over and realize that, I'm not like it didn't come overnight, but I realized, I'm not damaged goods. Like I'm awesome just the way I am. And I think that one of the things that the stoics have taught us is that, I have to overshoot because I have several disabilities that hold me back.
And so if I want to be awake and prepared, I have to take my medicine. I've gotta hydrate. I love the fact that I have to train for life. And I think the most important thing is gratitude. I am so grateful that I get to live every day. It is I read this idea and I deeply believe it.
We are not we're not happy because we're grateful. Or maybe I said that background. What it is we are grateful and then happiness follows. We're not happy and then grateful. So I feel like being filled with gratitude and surrounding with my friends who are doing beautiful things in the world and being inspired by them, and I understand that like I, we all can't do great things. I can't be a mall Clooney and, go to a refugee camp, but I can do small things with great love. And, I really love when you mention about miracles to me every day is a miracle. And I love how Einstein said, there's two ways to look at the world. One is nothing is a miracle, and the other is everything's a miracle. And I'm on team everything. And most of the people in my life join me on that bench. It's good.
And when I got to see you in New York we were even just talking about like the card that was on your table when we were talking and was it which Saint was it? It was St. Gerard, yes. St. Gerard. And do you wanna tell everyone what St. Gerard does? Who doesn't know? St. Gerard is the patron saint of maternity.
And it just happened as we were talking and I think, when. What's amazing is we were together in real life. And our hearts have a mag a magnetic pull that is 5,000 times more powerful than your brain.
And our hearts like just being within each other. And it's funny, it's three and a half feet. And so when we were during the covid, we had to be six feet apart. That was just gonna miss our magnetic hearts. And in this crabbed pinch world to sit with somebody in a room and, to have a conversation, that's when the miracle happens because we start looking for the comparative bias.
We're always like, I believe that the world is a great place and I believe that my job is to express this gratitude in small acts every day. And when you believe that, you see it. And you and I were there and we just were chatting. And I looked down on my coffee table and there was a. Card of St. George, and I have no idea how it got there, but it was a miracle.
Yeah I was invited to a Passover dinner on Friday, and I am not Jewish, but I've gone to this dinner with these dear friends of mine for many years now, and it's one of my favorite celebrations of the year because how they run and organize it, it's very philosophical.
There's a lot of questions, there's a lot of asking about action. And every year the host rewrites the 10 plagues and talks about the current 10 plagues that we're dealing with. And he really asks everybody like, okay, of all these 10 modern plagues we're talking about, he had, mental health on it.
He had what's happening in the Middle East, what's happening in the Ukraine what's happening for the LGBTQ plus community? Like he was just listing all these things, the environment. You, we could keep going on the list of problems that we know need to be solved and cracked. And he goes, okay.
He's everyone around this table is powerful and capable. Which one are you gonna take some actions on? And it was such an interesting call to action of, how can we do it in our house, on our street, in our neighborhood? And one of the questions they repeat over and over again throughout the night was, if somebody was hungry, would you let them in your house to eat?
And I, it's so profound and so simple at the same time, because we can help the one person in our neighborhood or on our street, and it was such an interesting reflection of how often are we really doing it. So I love pulling all of this kind of action into. It is overwhelming when we have to, we have solutions for, but they're not being implemented for some very big things and we all know it.
So what can we do? But to your point, whenever I look at the immediate community, it like brings my nervous system down because all around me, I can find people who are being a positive contribution, being a good example, doing everything that they can. Ru my next question is for you. You are looking and working with these marginalized communities every day.
How are they inspiring you based on how you see them being resilient and growing and fighting for the life that they want?
I think it's honestly inspiring just to ask for help to begin with because I think it's very difficult. I think for women in general to ask for help and to say that they need support, but to see people that have gone through so much trauma in their life, recognizing that they have this trauma that is not allowing them to heal and it's trauma that they then don't wanna carry on to the next generation.
And being very aware of I have kids. I don't want this to affect them. So for me, it's very inspiring to see that. You can go through extremely hard times, not see yourself necessarily as a victim of something that has happened. But hey I made it through this. I need some more help. I'm gonna get that help and then I'm gonna pass it along to the next generation.
And that's inspired actually. My business partner and I, we, we work with these marginalized communities that have a lot of low income people that may or may not have insurance. We do pro bono work as well if we see a client that really needs the help. But one of the things that kinda inspired us actually for this year is we created a nonprofit arm of our business where we can now fundraise.
And anybody that cannot afford therapy, or maybe they can only afford it once a month, but hey, this is something that you need. Weekly we can then transfer them over to the nonprofit portion. And then since we are also hiring from the same communities, I don't want to say to you, Hey listen, thanks for all this help.
You've already been traumatized and now I want you to take a pay cut to help these other people. 'cause all we're doing is really perpetuating the same cycle, right? So we wanna be able to offer a livable wage more than livable is what we're trying to do for the c, for the people that are trying to help from those same communities, and then also passing it along to the next.
So I find it very inspiring. And for us, this was like a small action item that we thought, Hey, we can probably do this. We can probably fundraise and get help for people that just cannot even afford copays or co-insurance because I'm sure everyone's aware, but the medical system in America is quite challenging.
I am gonna hold on some of my questions for now. I'm curious if you guys have any questions for each other.
I was gonna ask Ru do you do EMDR?
We do, yeah, we do. Yeah, we actually have we've started training our therapists as well, so that's one of the things that we are trying to put back into the business is offering additional training to our therapists because again, a lot of low income therapists that are serving those populations also don't have access to the, those types of trainings.
They are expensive.
Do you feel like that, explain what that is.
I don't know what that acronym is.
So I am not a therapist, just putting it out there. So my, I'm definitely more of the operation side of the business, but it is a method where, from what I understand, please don't quote me on this. It's basically if you've been through a traumatic experience, it's a type of treatment where it will allow you to, I don't know if it's relive the experience, but be in that experience and then to let it go. So that it's not holding you back from healing is from what I understand. I personally have never done EMDR, but that's my understanding of it.
It stands for eye movement, desensitization and reprocessing. There we go. It's used with a lot of somatic therapists as well. I do one with my therapist where she'll hold like a stick with an eraser on the end and move it across your different line of sight, different heights and widths across. And she's basically waiting to see your body react to something. It might be really subtle, like a twitch or a blink or you cough or you might feel a reaction. And all she does is okay, we're just gonna hold the point there. And you look at it there and it's stunning to me how all this stuff comes up.
And so there's this correspondence between trauma or emotions held in certain points that our eyes can connect with where it is in our brain. And just by focusing in that place it can get released. And that's one technique within the EMDR space. There's many others. But it's really interesting how it gives you access to finding it.
I'm like the worst example for talk therapy. I talk to people all the time that's not going to get anywhere. So I have to be doing this like EMDR, somatic type stuff to find it. 'cause I've done such a good job of being like, I don't wanna deal with that. Let's stick it in my hip, or, Nope, we're, and so my stuff is so buried that if we're gonna get to it, it has to be through.
Other modalities like that. Otherwise we're never gonna, we're never gonna get in there.
There's a lot of overlap between foster and trafficking and I've just heard that a lot that EMDR is just a really great tool that therapists can use, especially in tr in the trafficking space. But yes, I have done it personally as well, and it does, they tr do what I had experienced is they do, they did take me back to a, an experience that then trying to almost put myself back in it and change the dynamic of it. It was fascinating.
Oh and thank you for telling me. Thanks for explaining that. It's very interesting.
And there's other cool things too now, like they'll have you hold these paddles that are bilateral sensors, so they're sending different waves through you and that can release things like, there's so many cool things today and I appreciate that.
For a long time I was coaching people who were licensed therapists in their own coaching business in quotes, because under their licensure they couldn't do some modalities that they know would help people. They couldn't give them reiki, they couldn't give them yoga, they couldn't do these things that they know also release stuff.
And so they'd have to have a dual coaching business and therapy business and just like you're sorting them between for-profit, non-profit. They were sorting clients through which modalities do you need? Okay, what LLC am I gonna serve you under? And it's really great to see the expansion happening now where more things are allowed in different states that are really giving people.
Because ultimately we all just wanna help everyone, get through to the other side. What do you need? You need to stand upside down and hang from the ceiling, and that's how it comes out. Cool. Let's just get it out so you can move on and go back to, you know who you need to be. That's great. Any other questions for each other, big or small?
What heavy metal is your son into? What's his favorite? That was very I'm very curious about.
That's it's making me smile so much. 'cause he does not know that I'm in this interview right now. I've got my, and he literally just started playing guitar and he just so I've got myself muted. It's the best he. Our number one band is Metallica. We go to a lot of Metallica shows. Lars Ulrich actually pulled him up on stage last summer. It was really amazing. Wow. Yeah, it's very cool. But oh gosh, his top five are like Metallica, Pantera, Gojira Lama, God. Yeah. And then, but he writes a lot of his own music that really is, and that's where the sort of prodigy part of his brain comes in, is that like to be 11.
And he also plays drums and he writes full compositions and is like recording and writing poetry and lyrics and it's just amazing. And it's the kind of thing that probably most parents, would probably have gone in the other room, been like, dude, but I love it. I'm like, oh, cool, okay.
He's playing. So yeah, that's. He's doing some. Oh, how harmonics. Thank you.
My husband actually loves Metallica too and interviewed James Hetfield. Nice. Yeah. In person. It was great.
That's so cool. Yeah, there it's, we're gonna be in a documentary coming out later this year about. Metallica fans and it's cool 'cause it actually talks about how music has helped heal. Yeah. And Metallica's been a big part of it. Yeah.
Had that amazing documentary about how Metallica went through therapy monsters. Yes. Exactly. Exactly. And I think just moving your body and just connecting with the rhythm and being with a hundred percent minded people who all you know, that's a joy,
Absolutely. I jokingly say as soon as I get, we always go to the snake pit in the center of the stage. That's like where I always like, and I'm like, I'm at church, I'm at church. I'm here with my congregation. I've got the music moving through. And it is, it's a family. It's beautiful. It's a beautiful community. But yeah.
Yeah, it is beautiful how we can create community. We carry that with us, oh my gosh, yes. So great. Absolutely. And all you have to do is just show up. That's it. Be enthusiastic. Be present. Yes. Yeah.
Yes. Absolutely.
One of my I know I quote a lot, but I just handed in my new book and so I've got a lot of quotes. I try and memorize a quote a day, so I have a lot. But I really like this one by Voltaire who said, the best decision that you can ever make is the decision to be in a good mood. And if that's possible, I don't know if it is.
That's, it comes with gratitude though. I think you're absolutely right. You can. Always find something to be grateful for. Always. There's always something. And that it does, it shifts your mindset. It's, yeah. There's a slipknot lyric. It's all in your head. There you go.
I live by that. Something I think is also incredible about all of you on this call is that you are so great at being magnets for other incredible people. Is that something that, do you intentionally seek out other extraordinary humans? Do they find you? Like, how are you choosing? So it's a two part question.
How are you getting connected to these incredible people that are in your lives? And are you doing it intentionally? Like I met Michelle, for example, through an incredible person.
And I would say I found that incredible person out of, literally right after that five year moment happened for me. Who then has led me obviously down that path. I do think, I think being present with people does really help because I could see I think back of just seasons where I've gone through the motions, right? And I'm shown up places and my mind is scattered and I'm not really as there as I feel like I could have been.
So I do, and, but now I feel like, okay, if I'm waking up with a lot more intentionality I do feel like if I see people for who they are, where they are, that has actually led me to see and be connected to people in a way that I probably wasn't prior. It I'll say that and I'll say also, I, my, a lot of my relationships has changed during my tougher seasons as well.
Not everyone is loved going on a tougher journey. And I'm sure you all have felt that you felt some of that friendship loss or people who you thought would show up and didn't, and now you're recognizing people who are showing up for you that you had no idea would and have, and it's really remarkable and it actually has made me pay attention to other people's really tough seasons too, knowing that people probably think everyone else is showing it for them and probably aren't.
Yeah. So that's what I would say to that.
It's so beautiful how you can talk about this and, you have this incandescent glow about you like, it's like you're not like, like there's doesn't seem to be a lot of bitterness. And I'm sure it was very difficult, but I like across this box of lights and wires.
I'm just getting. Like this epiphany of you've been through really very difficult and here you are inspiring us. And so thank you for that. Very sweet. One of my, when you talk about friendship what my buddy Bill Murray says, friendship's weird. You pick a human and you're like, I like that one.
And then you do stuff with them. And that's the recipe for friendship. And Lord Byron said, that a good friend is the medicine for life. And I think yes, I've got an unbelievable pharmacy. People I can call back on. And it was interesting, Michelle, too, because like when somebody turns out to be a knucklehead, I'd always thought that loyalty was a virtue and that I'd never leave anyone behind.
And then I'm like, you know what, I'm a really good friend, and if you're gonna be a complete jackass, then I think I may need to weed my social garden and not feel bad about it. I'm I'm good about it. Yes. Compost it. Yeah.
I still feel like that has happened even through my surgeries last year.
And I'm like, wow. I just feel I think, I thought that in my forties, like friendships would just be solid and like nail down. I'm like, oh no, these still take work and I might still need to find some new ones. And maybe, like you're saying, maybe say goodbye to some. And that's okay. I feel like that's what I've had to come, I that is okay. I gotta come to terms with that.
Michelle, I, when I had a therapist who deals with women who are in like a medical crisis. So you go and was really interesting because yes. I, like there were people that I thought were really in my life and they vaporized and her perspective was, when somebody ama as, as amazing as you.
Has to go through like the BRCA surgeries. Then if somebody as, as awesome as Michelle is going through this could happen to me. And so it's not you, it's their own fear that holds them back. But still, you know what, like I want brave people in my life. I want brave, resilient people. It is said that we are the sum of the five people we spend the most time with. And so be very like, aware of who gets, who you share your time with because they all, we all rub buff on each other. I.
That's an amazing, I love that. That's so true. About like your five people, that inner circle. I feel as you guys are talking, this is a beautiful conversation with some very high vibrating souls and I love this that because, and that's it again, sound healing.
I'm going back to that. Everything for me comes back to vibration and there is something that. I'm sure a lot of you know that like with tuning forks like vibrates like, and so when you asked the question, Kara have you sought out these people that are amazing that come into your life?
I like to think that frankly when I shifted, I did, I dropped a lot of people that had been in my life that weren't ready to make that move up in vibration with me. They did. They fell back into wherever they went to. And I have started to vibrate out, I think a higher frequency that just by the very nature of the universe, these beautiful souls are coming in.
And yeah, like it's if you ding a, a tuning fork that's let's say tuned to sea and you put it down the row of tuning forks, it's like the only other one that's gonna vibrate back at it is the one that's tuned to sea as well. Like it's every other one does. So it's cool 'cause you can, I think, there's another yogic philosophy thing here about you have the right to action, but you don't have the right to the results of your action. And that's what I feel like is that I'm starting to realize that everything that I do and I put out there truly does vibrate back in. So there's, yeah. You you call in these beautiful people with your own vibration.
Ru what about you? How is your circle changing? Who do you find yourself attracting that surprises you?
I, my circle has definitely changed a lot. I think divorce does that anyway. It's fascinating how it changes the dynamics of relationships that you thought were solid for many years, but I feel as if. For me personally, I feel like maybe there was a season and there was a time and a place for certain people in your life and in that moment it was meant to be and you got what you needed from them and you gained what they needed. But then as you move on and kinda what Anne's talking about, you get to different frequency and at that point I think you naturally will lose people that maybe aren't again on the same frequency as you.
And I have found that being vulnerable and open and. Not feeling I'm, oh my gosh, I'm getting divorced. Oh, that's embarrassing, or that's shameful, or, I feel so guilty, or not having those emotions tied in, but yeah, you know what? It's happening. It's tough. But I am a good person and I want to hang around people that are positive and good and are looking to do good that, I feel like it is naturally just happening at this point, which I never dreamed.
I've met some of the most fascinating, wonderful women just by, again, joining groups and going to talks where it's whatever the topic is, and just meeting people that are so not necessarily searching, but putting myself in a position where I think I'm attracting people at that frequency and vice versa. I guess.
I know for myself, I ended an eight year relationship. Gosh, four years ago now maybe, and since that time, who my social circle is, has changed pretty dramatically. And I really had to look at, I was very generous with the word friend for a long time. I was like, oh, we know each other, we're friends.
And it's been really interesting to pull that back and be like no. You're a colleague, you're an acquaintance. There's, I've been, it's almost an honoring myself process of who I night as a friend, like who, who qualifies to go through the VIP ropes. And it's been a really interesting process of.
Really evaluating how balanced is this relationship? Who can I call it 2:00 AM who can I be really vulnerable with? Who do I find myself drawn to do those things for as well? And it's really interesting how it's shown up for me shifting and that sometimes the people who are the closest in that VIP circle are the farthest away physically.
And that's like a whole interesting dynamic as well. Being someone that's moved so much, there's okay, friends you have because you need to talk to humans in real life that you can go get a coffee with or go grab lunch with. And then there's the humans that you don't need to see for months, but you feel that red thread of no.
This is at a different level than other relationships are. So I think it's, I think it's healthy. And I love if you were talking about that loyalty component. For, I was so programmed that if I was a friend, I kept you. And if I started a book, I finished it. And if it was on my calendar, I had to do it or else.
And it's been a really interesting process to unpack some of that and be like, but if it doesn't work today, I don't need to finish the book. I can, no. My time is so much better spent, like I'll abandon the movie. There's, it's interesting to choose quitting, which is often a bad word, but it's like freeing us up for what we're actually supposed to be doing and having, and it's a, I think it's just part of that good girl programming that we've been given culturally of stayed the course.
Once you've chosen, you don't get to change your mind. So it's been, I think, really freeing. And so I really relate, Michelle, when you were talking about a freedom that you have now that you didn't have before, 'cause you're, you realize you're taking on. The expectations of other people and you're like, wait a second, do I even agree with these expectations or what you're thinking about?
Strong, confident women aren't always welcome in all settings. So to be that and to be in a setting that's not welcome, you don't realize it until you're like, whoa. Like it now is like stark to me now.
Yeah. I think that's something, there are so many parts of my life that are changing right now, and I know that they're in the change process and some days that's really anxiety inducing and other days it's very clarifying, like what's in and what's out. Personally, I prefer the clarifying days. I know for me to have a day that's more clarity led, I have to do like my morning rituals, I have to do those practices that are in place. So I'm really curious, what are some practices that you guys have to do on a daily or weekly basis to stay in your power versus not?
I'll jump in here. This is my, this is I have I built a building on my property just for these practices. No, I, meditation is huge. Just talking practically as far as tools go. Daily meditation journaling, I actually have found, but I don't do like a dear diary and I have to fill a whole page and whatever instead.
I have a it's actually a day planner calendar. That's like little squares. So I just have to fill a little square each day. And it's not even like today I went to the store. It's more what came to me during meditation and what am I wanting to work on myself, that kind of thing.
But I actually have a grounding practice. I do yoga. Like actual yoga exercise and or Pilates every day. And so like a physical exertion of some sort helps. But to be honest, if I skip every single thing, there are some days where I wake up and I'm like, ah, I don't have time. And I can only do one thing as soon as I jump out of bed.
I have a grounding practice that I do where literally I just stand and I feel my bare feet on the ground and I align my chakras, I align like my energy and and I connect with Mother Earth and I have a blessing that I say, but it's a blessing for myself each day. And it's a blessing of gratitude and it's a whole thing that I won't do.
It's like a two minute thing, but it always ends with that I am centered in gratitude and may each moment that passes in front of my awareness today be better off because it did That to me is like the. Answer to everything. Like how when we start to feel out of control and like we talked about these big things in the world, and how can we con, like help and contribute and what's our call to action in all of this?
My philosophy is that life is designed in such a way that there are going to be beautiful opportunities put in front of you. And if you can serve those moments that's your job. That's your job here is and raise it. And if we all lived like that, just, and that's how beautiful would it be though?
But yeah. So for me it's grounding practices and really turning inward to self because life is noisy to put in mildly.
Thank you. Ru, how about you?
So what Ann is talking about, one of the things that I love to do, it reminds me of my childhood. One of the things I used to love growing up in the middle of nowhere where we had big rolling hills full of grass, and I remember running on them barefoot and that smell of like freshly cut grass just always makes me feel so good.
So I have found what really crowns me and reminds me that we are a tiny little speck in the universe and everything is gonna be okay, is standing on grass. Just getting my feet onto grass is absolutely amazing. For some reason that always pulls me down and makes me realize, breathe like it's gonna be okay.
Meditation. Absolutely. And being grateful for something. And I try to do something where I'm looking forward to one thing a day, whether it's in the morning, whether it's oh, I'm really gonna grab that cup of coffee, or, at night I'm gonna drive by the ocean and see if I can catch a sunset.
Like little moments. But something that I can look forward to really help put things into perspective for me and make me grateful that I am where I am and that I have the ability to, if I don't like something, that I can change it. And what, knowing that I have that is a privilege. So I always feel grateful with little things like that.
Michelle, how about you?
In my, I would say in my best seasons, which was probably the majority of the last five years, I have done a morning mindset journal that Kara, how we're connected is through an a coach that created a journal.
And it really is just like gratitude attentions very bullet point very quick. A prayer to write out or a meditation if you wanna write something, but really easy and fast. I would say the challenge I currently am in is I'm in a field where a lot of my colleagues make a lot of financial only goals.
And a lot of things tend to be very centered around that. And I feel like I've been a bit lost, least in 2025. With trying to get some clarity at what. What I'm even writing down. So I do feel like I'm currently in a stage where I feel a little stuck on a daily. Even though a lot of, obviously my things that I there's certain values that I do I have found about myself that I try to include in my day every single day, which is, time with family.
I wanna have a little bit of fun every single day and make sure I'm paying attention to that. I love going out and getting a coffee even by myself. Yeah, I wouldn't say I'm perfect at this actually. If you were to ask me today did I do that today as far as write out my daily, no.
I feel like there's a lot going on in my brain that I'm still trying to figure out.
I get that. Yeah. There's, I, there's so many, when I'm coaching people, we often talk about the eight spheres of life and it. Some days it feels like the table got flipped on every one of those spheres, right?
One's like financial, another's love and relationships, another spirituality, another's like health wellness. There's so many things that I feel that in the first couple of months of this year, it's like, it doesn't, you don't have to watch the news if a table got flipped over. It's just what's happening right now?
And I'm trying to remember to lean in and be like, Ooh, this means we're upgrading. Okay, let's remember that we're upgrading right now. And that's why it feels so crazy. And it really feels like I am personally having to con mari every part of my life and come back to choosing again. Oh yeah, what are those values again?
Am I paying attention to them? Who are the people? There's. I asked my word of the years to be a magnet, and I really wanted to lean in on the kind of, I, I have lots of masculine tendencies. Like I will cause things, I'll produce things, I will make things happen. I will push it across the finish line.
And it's exhausting to hang out on that masculine side of things. And I'm like, no, I want it to be more in a feminine receiving like community space. And every time that I feel like I'm leaning into the masculine side, it God in the universe, you're like, oh, remember you wanted to be a magnet?
Just kidding. That's not gonna work the way it used to. And I'm very much having a, getting what you're asking for type of. Situation of okay, we have to process this a little bit differently. The old methods are not gonna work anymore. And I think it's interesting to see that happening at the individual level, at the global level, like all at once.
So I really relate to feeling like you're in the swirl right now of wait, which way was my North Star again? Because it feels I'm no longer aligned. So I keep having to do extra work if I'm meditating. It has to be longer now before I can get. Even just calm, I'm like this. And of course we don't have extra time, so I'm getting irritated about that.
There's this whole, ripple effect that's happening.
I all that, yeah. I love setting goals and I'm like now, half the time I feel like recently I'm like, what's this goal even for Yeah. What is it really for? And is it important and do I care about it? And I feel like that's, it's not, this isn't a bad thing.
This is like a shuffling that's happening, but it's just happening. I'm in front of you all of just I just, I'm not sure. And maybe the, this will be a good thing, I think, what do I really, what's important to me right now?
Yeah.
What do I really care about right now? And maybe, how many houses I sell this year might not be that thing. Like it and it yeah. A lot going on. I totally relate Kara.
Yeah. To close us off for the wisdom part of today def you're of course welcome to share your insane regimen of making sure that you're ready for your life. But I think I would also just love to hear what is your advice for everyone listening who is experiencing new levels of having to be resilient? They're may be scared going through that process. What wisdom would you like to impart on our audience?
Funny, while you were talking about your word magnet, I was like, what's this in my pocket? And it was a magnet. No. Yeah. And I was like, how'd that get in here? So that was funny. I think it's important to sum up what we're talking about, that your daily habits and principles will return you back to your center. And that's why we do these are essentially our mirrors. And just briefly, when I was a kid, my cousin was an NYPD officer and he was killed on the job and he was 28. And when I got to be 28, I was like, wow, Tim never got to live beyond this. And so every day since I was 28, I'm 60. I write a thank you letter every single day to somebody.
And I have stationary because it's not, it's never an email. 'cause it's not about reciprocity, it's just about sending love and gratitude through the US Postal system and just taking that moment, finding that person to say hello. And then every day at noon, I have a timer that I'm a mentor to a young woman.
Also a gold star NYPD family, and she's been orphaned twice. And I am an adult in her life. And so every day at 12 I set an alarm and I just and I just call her and I say, you don't have to pick up. Just so you know that I'm here. And she was at Coachella and she just said, you're the only I don't have anyone to talk to to tell how great it is and how nice it is, just by very small acts. And again, like what Mother Teresa said, we all can't do great things. We can do small things with great love.
Perfect. So for everyone who has been listening to this conversation and has fallen in love with one or all of you, how can they connect, follow, support you find you? Duff, we can start with you.
Okay, great. I am, I think I'm at Duff Lambrose NYC at Twitter. No. Instagram. Sorry.
Michelle, how about you?
I'm on TikTok and on Instagram, I'm on Facebook too, but at Sell by Michelle. And then t my TikTok is Mrs. Michelle Jernigan.
Perfect. Ru, how about you?
You can go to my website, it's diaspora therapy group.com. And you can find out more about the practice and then also find out about the nonprofit arm of our business as well.
And then Anne.
So you can find myself as well as my son if you feel like checking out his music. Instagram is my main place where you can find me. I am V Anne Watson, so THE and then A-N-N-E-W-A-T-S-O-N, the Ann Watson. And my son is a Russell Watson guitar. Highly Rec. I'm like, he's way more interesting than I'm.
And we'll have all those links in our show notes as well. So anyone listening who's nervous that they didn't just write it down. You can of course rewind, but you can also find it at the powerful it is.com. I'm just so thankful for all of you to be a yes today. This is a really important conversation. We handpicked you guys knowing who I wanted to have in this circle. Knowing the examples that many of you who I knew before had set for me and how important you guys are in my life. So thank you for being a yes to me and to the powerful ladies and sharing all your wisdom today. It means a lot.
Thank you.
Thank it was an honor to meet you all.
Yeah, you too.
You too.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you for hosting us. Cheers.
Related Episodes
Episode 195: Karen Duffy | Choosing Joy & Curiosity to Create a Beautiful Life
Episode 250: Anne Watson of Watson Ranch Vineyard, Watson Wellness & Anne Watson Content Development
Episode 165: A Powerful Conversation Series | Conscious Entrepreneurship & Environmentalism
Our amazing panelist are:
Anne Watson - Food Photographer, Chef, & Owner of Watson Wellness @theannewatson
Karen Duffy - NY Times Best Selling Author,Movie Producer, MTV VJ, & Actor @dufflambros
Michelle Jernigan - Real Estate Broker @sellbymichelle
Rup Duhra - Co-founder and Director of Operations of Diaspora Therapy Group @diasporatherapygroup
Created and hosted by Kara Duffy
Audio Engineering & Editing by Jordan Duffy
Production by Amanda Kass
Graphic design by Anna Olinova
Music by Joakim Karud
