Episode 314: Why Financial Feminism Could Be the Key to Your Future Fortune | Jackie Adler | Senior Financial Planner & Investment Advisor
Jackie Adler is a Senior Financial Planner and Investment Advisor who combines strategy with empathy. A 9/11 survivor and second-generation financial expert, Jackie brings deep personal insight to helping women navigate financial decisions during major life transitions like divorce, loss, or reinvention. In this episode, Kara and Jackie get real about what financial wellness actually looks like, talking retirement myths, saving while living paycheck to paycheck, intergenerational money stories, estate planning, prenups, and how to define 'enough.' This is financial literacy with heart, especially for women redefining security, success, and what’s next.
“Marriage is a business… you’re never going to go into business with somebody and own a company with someone if you don’t have those really hard conversations before you do.”
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Follow along using the Transcript
(00:00:01) - Jackie's Life-Altering Experience in New York
(00:00:20) - Introduction to Jackie Adler and Her Work
(00:00:41) - Jackie's Journey into Financial Planning
(00:01:54) - Changing Mindsets Around Wealth and Retirement
(00:04:02) - The Impact of Divorce on Financial Decisions
(00:08:00) - Understanding 'Divorce Brain' and Its Effects
(00:09:42) - The Role of Empathy in Financial Planning
(00:19:34) - The Importance of Financial Planning for Everyone
(00:21:57) - Key Takeaways for Financial Health
(00:57:40) - Rapid Fire Questions and Closing Thoughts
I happened to move to New York right before nine 11 and I was there that day in the towers. Obviously life altering for me, it shows number one, how life can change on a dime, but also how prepared you have to be for the moments that can happen that alter your life forever.
That's Financial advisor Jackie Adler.
I'm Kara Duffy, and this is The Powerful Ladies podcast.
Welcome to The Powerful Ladies Podcast. Thank you for having me. Kara. Let's begin by telling everyone your name, where you are in the world, and what you're up to.
Sure. So my name is Jackie Adler. I currently am in the Laguna Beach area and just living life. Enjoying just Paradise here. I moved here two and a half years ago, and it's every day I pinch myself living in this little slice of heaven focusing mostly on my financial planning practice.
And being a dog mom.
The dog mom life is its own thing.
Absolutely.
Yeah. I love that you have your little dog sleeping behind you.
I know he's, yeah. He moves around, but it's nice to have another heartbeat in the room sometimes.
Yes, definitely.
So clients love it when he pops up. Yeah. His name is whiskey.
And Whiskey also wants to help you with your financial health and wellness.
He does. He does. Yeah.
Well, I definitely wanna dive into, why your financial long-term planning and as I said, health and kind of fitness matters. But I'd love to start with how did you get into that type of work?
Sure. I actually grew up in the industry. My parents were both, are my dad's still working as a CPA and my mom was a financial planner. And and I was an only child till I was 10 when my sister was born. So we had a lot of family dinners and I just remember they're actually married 50 years next month. And they're really close and it's just a wonderful thing to have grown up with. But I remember a lot of conversations that, they're, they were, they would share stories with each other about what happened during their day with clients. And you're very impressionable when you're a child, obviously.
And so I heard the impact that they would have. And it just resonated for me. And so I went to college. I went to the business school, but still didn't know where I would fall. And I interned at Oppenheimer Funds during my summer before senior year. And I just fell in love with the people, but also what we were doing and that whole just the industry, it's very vast.
So there's a lot of hats you can wear, but I was always drawn to working with individuals like my parents because I think after working with large companies as well, you see that impact quicker and deeper when you work with the end user.
I think so many people either have whatever money stories they grew up with, whatever money stories they've.
Earned as an adult with whatever trauma they've been going through. There's a lot of talk right now about millennials or Gen X being like, oh, another recession. We've dealt with this before. There's such a different perspective, I think, today for people who are thinking about their long-term wealth building.
Then there certainly was for our parents or even our grandparents' generation. How have you seen people's mindset change about protecting their assets and saving for the future, even, as you've been in this career space?
It's fascinating because I have usually worked more with people that are five to 10 years out from retirement.
And that word retirement. Is vastly different for clients that I've worked with over the years in their fifties and sixties than people now who are in their fifties, right? It's I'm in my forties. A lot of my peers, especially if we're in a career that there's a little more flexibility. And we're fortunate to have that. You can't imagine stopping working at 65.
Yeah.
cause 65 now is very different from 65 when we were kids and our parents were 40. It's, I don't wanna, I'm probably not gonna stop working until 75 even, and my dad's 74 next month and he's still going and enjoying it.
Because I work with people in their thirties and forties, but also a lot of people in their fifties, sixties, and seventies it's shifted dramatically from the days of the pension. And, at 65 hard stop, that's when you stop clocking in and you get to now enjoy the next chapter.
Whereas now for us and our peers and, twenties and thirties year olds, their. They're looking at it completely differently because there is no really pension anymore. Maybe if you're a teacher, in the fire department or police. But it's a whole different mindset and so that affects how people save.
Yeah. I think people more are living for the now and not really thinking about 30, 40 years from now. And so there's, we could just talk about that topic alone for a long time, but I don't know if that answers your question. But it's, it just really varies.
And I think because, especially with women, which we can get into, but it's a whole different world now with women and career versus, in the fifties, sixties, seventies, eighties. It's just a whole shift with women working pouring more of their selves from a young age into their career and focusing on that versus just maybe staying at home and being a homemaker.
Which again, there's nothing wrong with that, but the whole, that whole realm has just had such a massive shift over the last even 20, 30 years.
And I think we can dive into that, right? Because you focus on women and you focus on women who, not exclusively, but you're niche as women who have gone through a divorce or have been widowed and having this relationship shift that is now also impacting their finances.
And since I, we've met through Provisors and there's so many lawyers in visors and I feel like now I'm learning so much about divorce because there are quite a few divorce attorneys in there. And one of my clients is a divorce coach. And you don't realize how many things impact it and when you're going through a divorce or a death.
There's so much overwhelm that you forget about the really practical things that you help people with. So from your perspective, like why is that, cha pivot point in life, so important, and why do you love getting to step in at those moments?
Definitely, and I'm grateful that our community in which, you know, you and I met that there are some incredible family law attorneys and the majority are women that, that we've met here. It's, there's so much that goes into that point in time in which something that you really had your heart set on lasting is, it's gonna end.
Yeah.
It's very, it can be very traumatic. Very emotional. And there's this term divorce brain, like you're in this fog and it's really hard to step away from the emotional impact that it's having and be able to make practical decisions that will impact you for the rest of your life.
And so this designation, this certified divorce financial analyst designation really stemmed from these attorneys are experts in the law. But when it comes to the, the marital property, which is, there's community property and separate property, and understanding that there's various ways in which to divide that with different taxation and calculations that are very financial.
The models around them are just what these attorneys haven't really, been specialists in the past and still really aren't. We work in concert with those attorneys. So what I, why I was drawn to this niche is because I've always taken a more of an empathetic approach. Like a handholding, financial, therapeutic kind of.
My clients look at me as more of a financial therapist in a lot of ways because money, as you mentioned, money stories earlier. It starts from such a young age and it's ingrained in us. And so a lot of women, especially going through a divorce, it's triggering from you, from maybe an early age where will I have enough, will I be okay?
Luckily because of what I alluded to earlier with women and their careers and just being ballers, more and more every day, taking control of their financial lives. We will see a shift in this too over the years as divorce will continue, but especially those women, when I'm dealing a lot of great divorce women in their sixties or even late fifties, they maybe weren't as involved over the years in their marriage at looking at their financial picture along with their spouses. And so there's a power dynamic there. There is I'm working with a woman now who feels that she's being manipulated and there's been some emotional abuse. And so then you're entering this period of divorce and you're like, how am I gonna be okay? And so there's so much at play. And I tend to have sometimes a calming effect with these women where I can really help them get centered.
And you mentioned you have a client who's a divorce coach. I think there's a lot of correlation and overlap with divorce coaching and my style of, yeah. Divorce financial planning. But, just having a really good attorney and potentially mediator divorce coach at times and divorce financial planner or consultant.
Having that team where there's different eyes and perspectives, looking at the whole picture and bringing up different aspects that someone may have not thought about because this process, it's irrevocable when it's done. And so many women say to me, oh, I wish I would've used someone like you before my divorce was finalized.
So I know I went in some tangents there, but there's a lot to say about the topic, so it's hard to focus on one piece.
Yeah. Because you mentioned like the divorce brain, you. Are in a situation where you never thought you would be or never wanted to be. And then not only is your relationship ending, but you might be having to find a new home.
And you might have to move to a different state. You might now need to go from taking a break in your career to now you gotta figure something out. And especially for those gray divorces that you mentioned I just can't imagine the anxiety of things were set, we had a plan, like there was a rhythm, a routine, things were handled and suddenly it's not.
And to be of that age, especially when you mentioned like you just, you may not have been an independent financial contributor to the relationship. I can only imagine how overwhelming it is to have to suddenly figure it all out yourself, which you couldn't. So having someone like you to just show us the options or tell us what we need to know. 'cause people get so overwhelmed with money and spreadsheets anyway, even when they're not in a traumatic moment's. Yeah. I tease my clients about, I work with a lot of creative entrepreneurs and so many of them have just spreadsheet fear in general. Yes. And a lot of people have been raised not to talk about money or numbers.
Yeah. They don't really know what they're making or what should be saving. There's so many unknowns and it feels like for so long a lot of the secrets of the rich were like gate kept. And whether it was, not saving the right amount of money, or not thinking about a retirement plan or having a financial advisor.
There were just things that people didn't have unless you were put into a track and told about it. And I think about how lucky you were to have financial conversations in your home, and just the degree of financial literacy you must have had. Where so many people get through school and they're like, why didn't we have a class about any of this?
That's one of my major pain points. We've talked about that. Yeah. How to prepare people for the real world.
Right?
From a young age.
Yeah.
And teach us the basics of budgeting, investing, saving strategies. You're right. I think about it quite a bit.
And that's why you and I have talked about what can we do workshops and that's still all getting flushed out, but it's like there's, it's not this thing only for the top 1%.
Like it really is accessible to everybody. Yes. And there is, there's this element it's very similar, I think to like civic engagement. When you don't know how the financial systems work and the reality of even credit cards and interest rates and what's available to you. You, there's, it's like you don't have one of your arms to function in how the modern world is put together.
I'm sure you've seen some things that have surprised and shocked you without, revealing any secrets that people have. What is something that's maybe. Like shocking and funny that you're like, I can't believe you didn't have X or no X.
Yeah. It varies many different, there could be many different answers to that.
One thing that I'm, I lived in New York City for about seven years in total, and my clients there had a lot more liquidity.
Maybe they owned their apartment or rented it, but they had a lot of cash to invest and, their balance sheet looked very different from being out here where I was shocked to see how little cash clients have here.
It's mostly in real estate. And non-use assets, right? Yeah. Yes. The real estate's building equity, but they have, fancy cars, fancy homes, and then a lot of liabilities on their balance sheet. Lot of debt. Yeah. And their savings accounts, their retirement accounts, their taxable accounts are just not robust enough for where they are in their lives.
So I think it's unfortunate in different places in just this country where people feel that they have to exude, right? A lot of that stuff on the outside and they're not doing what they need to be doing to prepare themselves for an emergency.
Or one year out, three years out, or 30 years out.
Yeah. I always tell people and show them this graphic I have of the difference in starting to save even 25 bucks a month, whatever it is, from the age of 25 versus 30, the amount because of compound interest the discrepancy at age 60 of what those two balances look like. It's.
Incredible. It's, it'll be interesting to see how with each generation this changes. Like you said, I had parents that are in the industry who taught me how to save 20% of every paycheck I ever got and put it into savings. It'll be interesting to see as we evolve and more education that becomes available and more people that are getting interested in this topic, how that then intergenerationally, affects their kids and their grandkids.
Even, I'll just mention that I, what also affected and still does today, my. Even the passion that I have for what I do.
But what solidified it was my first job outta school. I went back to Oppenheimer Funds where I had interned and it was in New York City in the Twin Towers.
And I happened to move to New York right before nine 11 and I was there that day in the towers. And obviously life altering for me and for all of those involved and all the families impacted, but it shows number one, how life can change on a dime, yeah. Most of us have had trauma or moments in life that showed us Wow.
How precious life is. But also how prepared you have to be for the moments that can happen that alter your life forever.
And that's really what planning, financial planning is. It's. You don't have to have a ton of money to do financial planning. Anyone can create a plan for themselves, and whether you're single or married, doing your, having a will and powers of attorney and a healthcare proxy. So you have people to advocate for you if you're not able to for yourself. But creating that blueprint, it, whether people sometimes are nervous, oh, I don't know how to do a budget, or it doesn't have to, we can talk about goals and dream a little and short term and long term goals, but if you are married or not married and you have a child, whatever it is, to have things in place so that you are planning for the worst while hoping for the best.
It's so crucial. And so when you asked me about stories or things that shocked me the amount of people, even that from my parents and hearing from them or myself and my clients, where someone dies suddenly and they do not have life insurance or enough life insurance or an estate plan. Yeah.
They don't have a trust in place and things are going through probate. It's, I tend to focus with my clients on, I walk them down the line of, let's imagine this happens. You need to focus on where are you gonna be emotionally in that moment.
Yeah.
Focus on how it's going to affect you. It's hard to do, but if someone you love tragically dies or you do, and then all of the fi, the decisions that would have to be made at simultaneously. That are logical.
And how the brain's not gonna focus on that. It's gonna be warning or dealing with someone who's not dead, but maybe disabled suddenly, right?
You don't wanna have to then at that moment, have to make these decisions that you could make now while everything is okay, and have that in place so that if something, God forbid, happens, you're not scrambling. You're able to really focus on what's it matter what matters at that point. So you can see there's a lot.
There's a lot.
And for everyone listening, I wanna come back to some of the things that you said. So if we're building your wishlist for everybody. The first thing I heard was, are you saving 20% of what you're earning? And I think a lot of people might hear that number and go, how the hell am I ever supposed to do that?
Because after I pay for rent and pay for groceries and my car insurance, there might be a hundred bucks or 20 bucks left. And that's certainly not 20% of what I earned. And so I think getting to that number I think is really important. And what are the baby steps to get there?
Can you save five? Can you save 10? I think people forget that. No one's coming to rescue us. So like we have to plan that ourselves. And. Y there's a cultural trend of oh, just, get a loan, get a credit card, and you're like, yeah, but that's just deepening the issue. Whereas if you were saving, you could rely on yourself versus those other resources.
The other thing you said was having a will and or trust, I did not know until about a year ago, maybe two, that if you have a business in the state of California, you need a trust. A friend of mine died suddenly, did not have a will or a trust or anything set up, so I was like, immediately I at least need a will.
And I was working with an estate attorney and they're like, oh no, you need a whole trust, like you own a business. And I was like, okay, why? Like the state of California sends me all sorts of paperwork that I do not need. Where was that piece of paper? Where was that? Heads up? Absolutely. So I've been such an advocate now of making sure that you're doing the estate planning if you have a business because, it's for a long time I would, it would, it felt so depressing to think about those things, but then when I pivoted to thinking about how I don't wanna leave my family and how I don't want them to have this hot mess to deal with.
I was like, no, like this is like such a respectful, tidy approach to things. And I have, the life insurance and things now too because it's just, I don't, it, it's like these adulting steps that when you do them. There's a level of peace that you didn't know you had, plus you get to, have really interesting conversations about what do you really want.
And I think that starts to trickle back from what do you want your ending to be? And it's like, what do you really want now? Because I heard a great conversation about how for our grandparents' generation, what they needed to kinda live a middle class life was not even a TV at first. Maybe there was one in the home.
They had a car if they were living in the suburbs in the city, they did not they didn't have a cell phone. They didn't have a computer. They had about 30 total garments in their closet. And like the level of simplicity, which of course led to the reduced cost they had to worry about today.
Now to be living what's considered a middle class life, there's so much stuff. Yeah. But we don't have to have all the stuff, to your point about where's your money? Is it in all your stuff, and is it in your house or is it actually liquid that you can do something with? I don't know. One feels more powerful to me than the other.
You just said so many interesting things. I could comment on all of them and we could just talk for hours about this, obviously, because this, it just resonates for everybody. This is universal.
Yeah.
One thing I'll say, and I'm glad you brought up about having a trust in the state of California if you own a business, because just anyone hearing this right now who didn't know that's a huge takeaway, right? This is not talked about. It's just we are missing so much education. And obviously each state is different, but, I heard a financial coach recently speaking. He's, a great author and it, this goes back to, I don't know if, I'm sure you've heard many times about, oh, we'll try to, don't go to the coffee shop every day.
I'm not gonna say the main coffee shop name, but every $3 to $6 to sometimes $8 you're spending on that coffee or a little treat. Think of how much you could be saving, instead, and his point was, I don't care how you spend your money.
As long as you put in a way the guardrails in place first, a structure in place first.
And if you, it doesn't have to be 20% of every paycheck you get, you put in savings. For some people that's doable. Especially if, a lot of us are not living beyond our means, but are pretty close to living paycheck to paycheck, especially if you live in a much higher cost of living city. So that can fluctuate.
But paying yourself first is, especially if you have a retirement plan through your job or your company, or if you're self-employed, right? You put that money away pre-tax or potentially post-tax first. Then you take a certain percentage of every time you pay yourself and put that into, let's say your savings.
The savings is, you want three to six months, depending on if you have a partner or you're single in emergency fund. Yes you could, and if you have an emergency, put that money on a credit card. But why not have the cash ready in case you need it? You also don't want to have to sell out of the market if you have an investment account to create that liquidity to pay down, pay for that emergency.
But, so it's paying yourself first in a few ways. And then obviously you have your fixed expenses, you have your variable, you're gonna have a little bit, hopefully left to spend every day, couple bucks here every week. So if you love food, right? If you love travel, if you like that daily coffee, taking a dance class, tennis lessons, whatever it is that feeds your soul, do those things.
Because life is precious and we are talking about, all the things we need to put in place should something catastrophic happen. So you wanna enjoy your every day, but, and credit's not bad. A lot of people are scared of credit cards establishing credit. You need a credit card, but it's about how you're utilizing it.
And there's nothing wrong, especially if you wanna get those points to use for that travel that you love or shopping is using that card, but being really regimented with how you pay it down.
So yeah, I'll stop there and I think to keep going.
I think it highlights things that you work with your clients on just like I do, because.
You want people to have their dream life. Yeah, I do also, and I think that there is actually a lot of work to have your dream life not in making more money, but it's the hard work and really looking at what are the things that make up your dream life. We're, so when you're kicked out let's say college or high school, whichever level you wanna look at, there's already kind of a.
Suggested checklist of what you should be doing, should be up to, should have, should be acquiring even. And I think that I think that there may be the social media influence of homogenizing, a lot of that stuff has happened over time. And I think that we're starting to see shifts where people are getting more comfortable, being a little bit more radical about no I don't care about the luxury car.
I care more about X, Y, and Z. Or I'd rather have a savings account than, go shopping every month or whatever the thing is. And, I think there's a lot of, just a more awareness of people choosing what actually aligns with them. Versus what is somebody else's dream life.
Because to your point, none of it's bad. If you love cars, if you love fashion, if you love all the beauty treatments, great. But. We know that there, it's rare that you can do ev all 101 possibilities at any one time. So how are we prioritizing them? How are we really asking, do I actually care about this?
Is this a habit I just have? Is this what my circle is doing? Do I actually like going out to eat all the time? Just those questions. And I think that the past couple of months I think, have caused people to think a little bit more about what their priorities are. And I'm glad to see people doing that because you and I know that when people have that clarity, all these things get so much easier.
Like it's not hard to put things aside that you want or don't want. And I don't know, it's just I feel like. So many people right now are over the hamster wheel and over, like not having a correlation between what they're doing and what they're building. I pushed my clients so much to make sure okay, once we get your business stabilized, once we have it in growth mode, we have to talk about your wealth building plans.
Otherwise you'll just keep working and you'll never have anything to show for it. So true. And so many entrepreneurs aren't thinking about that because they're so oriented towards chasing the rabbit right now. Yes. And having a business is a rollercoaster. Yes. So thinking about anything else can be really hard, but especially for people who've been so successful.
I have some people who accidentally created multimillion dollar businesses and I'm like, okay like you worked so hard for this. What do you have to show for it besides the business? And they're like, oh, I don't like and then they can't, they can never set an, is this enough goal? I don't want them to just keep X-ing their revenue.
I'm like, why do we need more? And they're like yeah, I haven't set my goals yet. And I'm like, okay, how much money do you need? And they have no idea.
Yes. God, that's such a good point. It's like, when's it, what is enough?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
How are some ways that, like you define enough for you? Or what really?
Like what's alignment for you?
I think one of the hardest things is finding the balance of, doing the things that we talked about. Seeing my balance sheet grow to the best that it can. Over time knowing that it's gonna take a lot of small steps to get there. Not huge movements, right?
It's every day you can be doing little things. But it's also trying to not lose like the dreamer in you the creative part, right? When you get inspired by the people that you meet, by, the things that you see, that you read, that you watch. I go to the water a lot and do walks there and, I take stock of like where I am, what do I still wanna do?
It's, I think we're really hard on ourselves, so sometimes we do have to try to really pat ourselves in the back for what we have done, which is so people just don't do that.
Yeah.
That luckily if you have a really wonderful circle of friends around you, they're good at pointing those things out, and that feels really good.
But, and then just, even with us reinventing ourselves, we reinvent, we can, you can reinvent yourself all the time and not be afraid to make changes and maybe pull back sometimes and go inward and whether you are in therapy or have someone you can talk to besides just having it all occur in your head being open with about yourself and what you're still looking to do and achieve. But it's just such a balance. So I know that's a little vague, but it's, I'm trying to think through it as you asked me that, and.
I like that you listed a lot of qualitative things. Your circle of friends, like it's free to go walk at the beach, like
That's free and high value.
Very high.
Value. Yeah. And I recently, actually, I was at a Passover dinner. Yeah. And the family that hosts it every year, they update the 10 plagues when they're telling the story and they modernize it. It's what are our 10 plagues today? And one of the plagues they listed was financial inequality.
And they shared a stat that you, it really shifted my perspective. 'cause we hear so much about the 1% that owns 53% of the wealth in the world. But they said the top 10%, if you make 120,000 US dollars or more, you're in the top 10% of global wealth. And it, I sat with that and I went, I got really mad because to me, if you're in, if you're in the top 10% of wealth in the globe, it should feel like it.
And it made me really wanna reset how the media is talking about wealth, because okay. If 120, K is wealthy at a global standard. We should be resetting all other cost expectations and burden expectations from there down. Now, even if we wanted to skew the US a little bit in one direction or the other.
But still, like most you, I heard competitive data that to live in Southern California as a single person, you need to be doing 120, 150 K to function. That's not even thriving. And we, I know that most people in Southern California are not making that. And so it just really irritated me that we're not looking at the realities of if that's that ceiling at a global level, we have to be having conversations about, okay, then what should school cost?
What should housing cost, what should other things cost? And. I, it's funny how IF I find myself shifting into meeting we need more and more of these, I think social guardrails because it's like a runaway train in some capacities. And I think real estate, especially in Southern California, is such a great example of you'll never be able to afford it. And so everyone's jumping in before they really could afford it. And then they have the balance sheets that you saw where you were like, you have a great home, but you don't have anything else. And, growing up, my parents would call that house poor.
Yes. Still a thing. Yeah. And still a thing. You look at other countries and the ownership rates are much lower because they don't wanna be housed for that they would rather have liquid assets. They'd rather have their retirement, they'd rather go on vacations. And so I do it's.
Since that Passover, I've just been having like much, like it's in the back of my mind running this number, this data, and I just, I'm like, what are we doing?
First of all, modernizing the 10 plagues. Just, I've never heard of anyone doing that. So just an aside, like that's really cool and I'm gonna take that back to my family and friends. Wow.
Yes. I keep thinking about what you mentioned about simplicity and for everyone that's different, right? Whether it is owning a home and making that your sanctuary, but you can still rent. I rent 'cause I moved here two and a half years ago and I'm didn't, I wasn't ready to buy. I know where I wanted to live.
And I love. My home. It's still my home.
Yeah.
I'm not building equity in it, but I treat it like my home because, and it is. So I think just, and there's nothing wrong with owning real estate. My, we're we're big advocates at my firm of owning real estate and rental income, if you own multiple it's wonderful.
But yeah, it is not for everybody. And you can build that balance sheet up in, in a myriad of ways and owning a home. And that is unfortunately what we deal with a lot in divorce planning is someone in that marriage wants to keep the house, and a lot of times they can't afford to keep it, and they're so stuck on keeping it, and I get it, the emotional attachment to the home in which maybe you've raised children. And so I think just even this topic of maybe redefining what home means. Is important.
Yeah.
But there is Yeah. Such inequality. And I think because money has constantly been so taboo to talk about, I think it's getting way better now, the amount of podcasts and books and interviews that are happening Yeah. And segments on the morning shows about money.
Yeah.
I'm so happy to see that because we need to talk about it. And again, it's our attachment to it. And our money story is formed from such a young age. Most people don't realize that. They just don't understand that it's happening whether you like it or not, when you're six years old, seven, eight, listening to how your parents talk about money, or if you have a single parent, how many jobs they're working or, there's, we could go on and on about that alone, but that informs how people.
Spend and save when they're an adult. And especially if you're partnering up with someone and you're not talking about how financially aligned you are. That's, we've, you and I have discussed this. This is another passion of mine and I think yours is how, I, I help facilitate those conversations a lot between whether it's your first marriage, your second beyond, we're in California, your third marriage is a business. It is that you are running a business in your household and to, you're never gonna go into business with somebody and own a company with someone if you don't have those really hard conversations before you do. Yeah. So same with marriage. And because we all grow up around money in such different ways, it's a, what you said it's like.
Maybe you need to break away from that philosophy at some point in your life to start healing and living your life differently. But also to ensure that whatever partnership you are getting into, whether it's a business or marriage, which is still a business, how you're both gonna move forward or move through that, I should say.
Even if you have conflicting views on money, knowing with the right communication how to move through those decisions you're gonna make on a daily basis, small decisions every single day, and then the large decisions. So that tension doesn't arise, which then can create the divorce.
It's all connected.
And I had a really interesting arc in my childhood or upbringing about how much money we had and didn't have. We had no money when I was a kid. And then in high school suddenly it started to shift. And so by the time that I was going to college, we had, I still took out some loans, but my parents could pay for some of it.
It was like very dramatic difference from, half my lifetime ago. And I remember as we growing up, my parents had a rule that like they had a number that each other, they could each spend without consulting the other person, like up to ed number. Like it used to be up to $500, you don't need, we don't need to talk about it.
Interesting. And then it became like a thousand, 5,000, like the number was moving up as their financial security was increasing. But I thought it was such an interesting, I. Thing because it, it made it unattached. It was like, no, we just picked a number that basically would or wouldn't wreck our checking account.
And if we ha if we wanna spend something that's more than that number, we talk about it. If it's less than that, we don't have to talk about it. And I think it took some of the, wrong morality out of money that happened so much. And my heart, something. Yeah.
Stealing that by the way. I'm stealing that. I've never heard anyone mention it in that way, and I, it's, yeah, it's brilliant. Okay, we'll get going.
Thanks George and Wendy. And then my parents had a unique situation where my mother stayed at home for once they had kids and, but she's the one that managed all the money.
So I think she missed her calling as an accountant. 'cause she would keep the ledger and balance everything in her own little binder and do it all manually. It's, that wasn't very common. Usually whoever made the money was managing it. So it, I think that split too created an interesting balance between them.
But yeah, it was very interesting to like, grow up in that space. 'cause I also had one account, they've shared everything their entire lives.
Wow.
And I look at myself now and I'm like, I want a prenup before I get married. I dunno if I ever we'll have one shared account, but I'm ke like, I don't know.
I'm just so oriented towards this independence of keeping, I know I can manage my part and I'm like, Ooh, mixing everything sounds real nervous.
Absolutely valid. Yeah. I love that you mentioned this about your parents. It's just because it gives them each autonomy to not have to, with every little decision, say let me check with my partner first.
Who would want that? Yeah. But at the same time, there has to be that respect and understanding there between standing there two people that you're not gonna go. That I think there's a lot of mistrust. I don't think there is a lot of mistrust amongst partners with money and how do I know what they're spending?
Maybe it's really, that's a whole other topic that needs to be addressed, because that's scary. The foundation of trust and communication has to be there because it will infiltrate all of those various areas of the relationship.
I just lost my point where I wanted to say.
Something you mentioned about your mom. I can't tell you how many times I've met couples where, it's a heterosexual couple and the woman will say I manage the the finances of the household so I know what's going on. But then when it comes to the financial planning or the investment management, she's not involved. She doesn't go to the meetings with her husband and the financial advisor.
She doesn't even know if she's listed as a person. She doesn't know if she's
on the joint account. She doesn't know the beneficiaries, she doesn't know the amount of money going into those accounts every month or. Are they being rebalanced like nothing. And that is such a different it's not the same. Yeah. And so I am happy when I meet a couple where one of them is thinks, and it is true if you're running the books for the household, that is better than not running the books.
But I so encourage both spouses to always meet with the advisor.
Always. Especially if one of the two is managing it all and they have an incapacity event. I'm not even saying die. Yeah. Just an incapacity event. They're even, they have to have a surgery and there's complications for a month or two, they're out of commission. What is that other person gonna do if they don't know, have a relationship with that advisor or know where all the documents are?
Or the accountant personally, to talk to him or her. And there's no power of attorney. At every financial institution where you have accounts, you need to have that Power of attorney document there so they are ready to speak to you if you need to call. It's, there's just, you could just, we could write a book and there are books, there's tons of books out there about this.
But I I think before, earlier you were probably mentioning Ramit, Tahiti and his books and his philosophy. And I actually sent him an email. Okay. Because I read his book, I Will Teach You To Be Rich. And I said, Hey, I love your approach. I think I would love to work with you to write a book for entrepreneurs because it has to be different.
And he wrote back, great idea. I don't have time. Go for it. And I was like, oh. I'm like, okay. But this is a huge gap in the space of financial literacy because when you have your own business or businesses, it adds a different dynamic into how you're moving your money around. And how you're thinking about things.
And I'm an interesting combination because I am typically the saver, ver or sorry, I'm the, in the Dave Ramsey approach, there's like the free spirit, or there's the nerd. I tend to be the nerd where I'm like tracking it and looking at it and putting the plans together. But I'm also, I have a very high risk tolerance.
Like I will do all the work and be like, we've saved $50,000. We should use that to start a new business, which is not what I should be doing with the savings I'm putting together. So it's really interesting how I think that entrepreneur personality, especially if they're not spreadsheet phobic there's like a different way of being like, okay, hold on. We need some guardrails. Like I remember I've always had a savings account, but I never had rules for when can I touch it. Like I would be like, oh, there's an emergency put on the credit card, be like, hold on, I have a savings account. Why am I never touching it?
And so I had to create some rules about like when I can and what the limits are. Like I had to put boundaries around it for myself. And it was interesting to go through that process of. What is the number that has to be the minimum in the account? What is the number that after I hit this number, then I'm allowed to risk the over amount?
Because otherwise you're like, ah, I can gamble it, I can make it, I can figure it out. It's a really interesting combination of personality traits and I don't think there's enough financial advisement about that path. I think there is a lot more books about if you're an employee and if you have more of a fixed income route, but this middle zone, if you have variable income or you have your own business, there's not a lot of guidance about what you should or shouldn't be doing and when.
And acknowledging like, oh, I. Maybe you're older than you think you are. Maybe we shouldn't be gambling the farm anymore. So it's an interesting space.
One thing I'll say about that, and I have done this for myself, and I highly recommend everyone to do this, but especially if you're a business owner or entrepreneur, have multiple savings accounts.
So if you pay quarterly estimated tax payments, you wanna have a separate savings account where all income you receive. You take a portion, right? 20% ab fed, five to 10% state, depending on your bracket, and you automatically put that into a savings account that is for taxes, and you don't touch it except every quarter.
And then in April or September. You have a savings account that is even for long term, right? An additional, if you want saving, and these are accounts that hopefully you'd have like I use Capital One for mine, high interest. Like a money market, at least earning 4% with rates being what they are right now.
So you're not just having a bank savings account earning nothing, right? You want the money to still be working for you and 4% not too shabby, if you're saving, because I don't invest my clients' money that are saving for a down payment in the next two to three years, I don't wanna put that in the market versus a high yield savings account, right?
Whether we preserve that balance, but see some growth over inflation. And then you have your fund savings account if you know you're gonna do one trip next year, or two smaller trips, or two large trips. Have that account just for that. There's multiple ways, to save. And you want to have those guardrails like you mentioned because you don't just, you don't wanna feel like you're putting money in the savings account and it's just there for emergencies.
And then it's tempting, it's staring at you and you look at your balance. You do wanna have your emergency fund, but then you also wanna be saving for different things and that's okay.
I recently had a conversation with a client who needs to separate they haven't set up a business checking account yet, so it's all been running through one account, which is not allowed.
And so we're like, okay, we have to separate it now. And their response was funny. They're like, but if I separate it, I'll have less money. And I'm like, yeah, but then it'll be real. And it's very visual for some people. Yes. But it was like this psychological thing of feeling okay that this much was in one place.
Yep. And I'm like, it'll still add up on a piece of paper. But no, I think it is a different perspective. It's not as much money as you think it is. And I'm often telling people quick math, whatever you're making for your business, even if you have no team, you're gonna get to keep between one third half to one third, that's it.
The other half to 70% is gonna go to your expenses, your overhead, your taxes. That's it. If you make $500,000, you don't get to keep that. And it's a really different, especially for newer entrepreneurs who are used to a paycheck making that switch. It changes when you're out there selling things and people are like, it costs this much.
And you're like, yeah, because I don't even get to keep out of it. So Yeah. It costs this much.
Absolutely. It's totally different. Psychology, such a mind shift.
To go from W2 to 10 99, it's incredibly, yeah. Difficult. It's very nuanced too yes. And it's funny, the psychology you mentioned of seeing the money in the bank account.
I always have this conversation with clients, especially those who are retiring or retired, I don't want someone to have too much in cash because that hurts you. The opportunity cost alone. But not because we, there's many different personality types with money. I will never, I'm so sensitive to someone who's very tied to seeing a certain balance in their bank account.
I will never force them. To take a certain amount of that and invest it if they, it's just so personal.
Yeah.
And it's okay. If you wanna see that five in front of, 50,000 let's say and, 30,000 would be too scary. Okay. Let's work around it. So yeah. Planning, financial planning as a large umbrella, there's so many different types of conversations you have under that.
But you hit on one of those and there's, yeah. I think for people, just like before you get married or engaged, before you do start your own business it's so important to speak to someone like you and someone like me, yes. And a good accountant. And put those guardrails and that, that infrastructure in a way, in place before you take the leap, it'll just make it for a smoother ride.
Yeah. And it's and people get, so there's so much shame and embarrassment around money too. And, I'm such a similar to you, it's put it all on the table because the more you show me and tell me, the more we can come up with plans that are specific to you and the more that you're willing to show people, like inside the trench coat don't look over here.
You get power back from it. You Yes. Whatever your situation is, someone can tell you how to make it better. Yes. And, but if you don't invite people in to help you create the structure and systems and the rules, you're gonna keep floundering in that space. And it's really frustrating to think you have to figure this out on your own all the time, because the truth is you don't for any of these things.
As you mentioned, we could keep talking about this forever. We have definitely gone over what I had promised you. So I have a few rapid fire questions to wrap up for today. Sure. When you hear the words powerful and ladies, what do those words mean to you? And does their definition change when they're next to each other?
Wow. I just hear, yeah. Powerful lady. That's, I think it's a brilliant title for a podcast. I think, I was thinking about powerful lady and just some words that come to mind are courageous, resilient. When I mention reinventing, not being afraid to reinvent yourself. I think building others up, building other women up, especially, I.
It's something that I've always naturally done and I think when it's done, to me it feels, it's just so empowering. And then I think following your intuition and not overanalyzing things too much. So that's what I think of with powerful ladies.
What is a ritual habit that you live by and must have to be your best self?
The older I've gotten, the more I've enjoyed taking time for me and not feeling bad if I'm home on a Friday or Saturday night it's so funny, I think. I always used to, when I was younger, have a little bit more, the fomo and it's a weekend I have to be out, but really lighting that candle and doing some, reading a good book, curling up taking my dog on a walk and letting him take the time to sniff and read the newspaper as I call it, as they sniff. Just those things, being at the water and seeing the dolphins. I just, that self care, for my mental health, emotional, physical health it's been really more important to me now than ever.
Is there a book that you keep going back to or that you recommend often?
There's a book that I think is really important. There's so many books out there about the relationship with money that we have or the psychology of it, but one book is called The Power of Enough finding Joy in your Relationship with Money.
Elizabeth Hurs Hus. It's a hard name to say H-U-S-S-E-R-L, but just from what the book cover says uncover your financial DNA, revealing the inherited beliefs, behaviors, and habits that shape your financial decisions. So it's really good read and everyone will benefit from it. I did.
Love that. You spoke a little bit about your circle of Friends. How have other powerful women changed your life and or helped you get to where you are today?
Oh my gosh. So many women, my mom, she never thought she'd be in the business world. She didn't, she was a semester short of graduating college and she just had such tenacity and I. She taught me how to fake it till you make it, which I think is really important for women. We don't apply for jobs if we don't feel we're a hundred percent qualified for that job.
But the women in my life, even the women I've met here in the Laguna Beach, orange County area, you being one of them I am constantly amazed at the strength that we all embody and just seeing the women that I'm close to and their strength has helped me continuously tap into my own.
And powerful and strong and accomplished can look a lot different based on who you're talking to. There's not just one picture of how that looks. And I love seeing these women and hearing your story because it really shows the common threads, I think, between us. Yeah. And that's just, it's been really special.
I'm, I have friends since I'm eight years old, a big group of those women and I just surround myself with incredible women that inspire me every day.
This is a big group. Very powerful. What is something that you would like to ask for from the group? What's on your wishlist to do list to manifest list?
How can we help you?
I think, keeping me in mind for anyone that you're close to who may be going through a major life transition, because I know how much I can really help them from the financial standpoint, losing a spouse, losing a partner wanting to maybe take that leap into a new career and don't know if they can afford to just using me as a resource.
But other than that, it takes a village. So just allowing me to continue to be part of your village and you be a part of mine, that's all I would want.
Easy done. So for everyone who is excited that you are there and they would love to talk to you, and they are, feel like you're the right fit, they've been looking for, where can they connect with you, follow you?
How can they get in touch so that you can be of service to them?
Sure. The firm I'm with is called Guide My Finances, so it's guide my finances.com and you'll see me as one of the team there. My Instagram, I think it's just Jackie Adler. LinkedIn is J Adler. So yeah, we have different ways to access me.
Perfect. Thank you so much for being a Yes. To me. It's a powerful ladies, but more importantly thank you for just who you are and the work that you're doing. It's having empathy in the financial world isn't exactly expected all the time. And being committed to people's, greatness and their dream life and their purpose, and building it, not necessarily the way that you would want it to be done, but the way you know is best for them.
That's a really unique place to be in, so thank you for doing that work and how compassionate you are for your clients.
Oh, thank you for saying that. I appreciate it. This was lovely.
Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and share it with a friend. Head to the powerful ladies.com where you can find all the links to connect with Jackie, as well as learn more about powerful ladies. Come hang out with us on Instagram at Powerful Ladies, and you can find me and all my socials@karaduffy.com.
I'll be back next week with a brand new episode. Until then, I hope you're taking on being powerful in your life. Go be awesome and up to something you love.
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Created and hosted by Kara Duffy
Audio Engineering & Editing by Jordan Duffy
Production by Amanda Kass
Graphic design by Anna Olinova
Music by Joakim Karud
