Episode 70: From Priesthood Dreams to Comedy Spotlight | Cameron Esposito | Stand-Up, Author & Host of Queery
Cameron Esposito is a stand-up comedian, actor, host of the Queery podcast, and bestselling author of Save Yourself. Known for her sharp wit and commitment to amplifying LGBTQ+ voices, Cameron has built a career that blends humor, activism, and storytelling. She shares her journey from studying theology with plans to become a priest to finding her voice in comedy, and how her work continues to support and represent marginalized communities. Cameron talks about the leap from Boston to Chicago, creating spaces where people feel seen, and releasing her book during a pandemic.
“You’re doing better than you think. That’s what I need to remember every day, too.”
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In the Company of Women
Grace Bonny
Queery Podcast
Julia Terchin
The Daily Beast
Covid19
Fringe Festival Edinburg
Immunosuppressed
Zoom
Animal Crossing
TikTok
YouTube
Twitter
Sierra Katow
Clark University
Worcester
Boston College
Holy Cross
Georgetown University
Mary Ann’s Bar
Chicago
Boston
Tufts
Harvard
Pioneer Valley
Smith
Yo Is This Racist?
Eucharistic Minister
The Crown
The Handmaid’s Tale -
Follow along using the Transcript
Chapters
00:00 Meet Cameron Esposito
03:20 Growing Up in Chicago and Catholic School Life
07:45 Studying Theology and English in College
12:10 Early Jobs in Social Work and Education
16:25 Discovering Comedy and Performing at Night
20:40 Moving to Chicago and Building a Stand-Up Career
24:55 Creating the Queery Podcast
29:15 Amplifying LGBTQ+ Voices in Media
33:30 Writing and Releasing Save Yourself During Quarantine
37:50 Lessons from The Crown and The Handmaid’s Tale
42:15 Balancing Humor and Activism
46:40 Representation, Visibility, and Lesbian Day of Visibility
50:20 Advice for Anyone Carving Their Own Path
Anytime you're trying to sell anything. I am aware, and especially because so many of my audience members are part of a marginalized community, but then any intersection that they have thereof, okay, so they're a queer person, but they're also trans person. Mm-hmm. And they're also a trans person of color.
We know that any marginalization compounds the way that this is affecting us, that this particular thing is affecting us.
That's Cameron Esposito and this is The Powerful Ladies podcast.
Hey guys, I'm your host, Kara Duffy, and this is The Powerful Ladies Podcast where I invite my favorite humans, the awesome, the up to something, and the extraordinary to come and share their story. I hope that you'll be left, entertained, inspired, and moved to take action towards living your most powerful life.
Cameron Esposito is a standup comedian actor. Hosts of the Query podcast and is an even during pandemic bestselling author. She's hilarious. She's smart, she's awesome, and her passion has always been providing support and shining a light on disenfranchised communities. In this episode, we talk about how her work and her art has changed and even saved lives.
We discuss how she's pivoted from wanting to be a priest to becoming a comedian, and why she's always putting her customers fans and her people first, and the advantage that that gives her on both the human and the business side, all that and so much more coming up. But first, if you're interested in discovering what possibilities and businesses are available for you to create and to live your most fulfilling life.
Please visit the powerful ladies.com/coaching and sign up for a free coaching consultation with me. There is no reason to wait another day to not be living your best life when you instead could be running at full speed towards your wildest dreams today.
Welcome to the Powerful Ladies Podcast. Oh, thank you.
To me. Yes to you. I, for some reason, thought that was to the audience, and I was waiting for Oh, a cue. No, but I Well,
hello. Thank you. Hello. Thank you for welcoming me. Of course. Well, I'm very excited to have you today 'cause obviously Jordan talks a ton about you.
I do. As being part of your podcasting team, and I'm also excited to have you on today because I have you in my room with me right now. Yeah, that is
me.
Yes. Uh, and when, um, we were making our list of powerful ladies who we wanted to talk to, I had this book and I was super excited. And the book I'm holding up is in the Company of Women by Grace, Bonnie.
Mm-hmm. And that was happening. I was like pulling all these people together, plus I know a ton in real life. And this was inspiration. And Jordan's like, yeah, I'm working on this new, this new show called Query with Cameron Esposito. And I'm like, I think I know her. And then I went back to the book, I'm like, she's in my book.
So here we are. Page one 19. Absolutely.
That's my friend Grace's book. Um, and Grace has also been, she's been a guest on Query, although before Jordan, you were part of the team. Yeah, because, uh, when I was at my former podcasting home and then, uh, Grace's wife, Julia Terin has also been a guest on the podcast.
And I, I think that when Julia was on. You were part of the team. I team, so maybe I'm wrong. Anyway, uh, yeah. So yes, that is a picture of me. Uh, they wanted to shoot my house and at the time I was living in a really shitty apartment, so I said, can you shoot me in Griffith Park instead?
Well, it came out great.
Well, for everyone that's listening, I think we need to do a proper introduction of who you are. 'cause you are so many things from comedian podcast host, you know, activists, whether you'd call yourself that or not. So I would say take it away. Tell the audience who you are and what you're up to.
Oh, sure.
I'm Cameron Esposito. Um, I am a standup comic first and foremost, but I recently released a book, um, during COVID Times, and that book is called Save Yourself. And it is a bestseller. So I guess I'm also a. Bestselling author, which is great. Congratulations. Thank you. Yeah. Um, it was very challenging, you know, to have the, I had, Jordan knows about this because Jordan is the engineer on my podcast query.
Um, but I also had like a big book tour set up and then, um, decided to cancel it sort of right before everybody canceled the entire world. Um, and the tour, the tickets were bundled so that you got like a copy of the book with every ticket. So thousands of books had been purchased. That was like the main way that I was telling folks to support the book.
Um, and those were all had to essentially be refunded. Like, I mean, they weren't actually physically given to people yet, but the ticket price was refunded, which meant that the orders were not filled. Um, and that happened like the week before. The book debuted. So it's, it's a really wild thing. The, it's most likely that if your book is gonna do well, that it would do well, like, like in the first week.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and so yeah, I just had like a few days to try to redirect thousands of sales. Um, and it worked. It worked. Yeah. Folks were really supportive and also bought it through Indie booksellers, which is what I was suggesting. So it's like an indie bookstore bestseller. It was also like an east coast, uh, bookstore bestseller for multiple weeks.
It was in Seattle Times Bestseller List and Washington Post, and it was not on the New York Times bestseller list. And you know what? That is very hard to crack. And I, uh, really was hoping that it might be possible and. It just wasn't for this one. You know, it like actually was super challenging to re hussle essentially anybody that bought the book, or not anybody, but many people that bought the book had to buy it twice.
Mm-hmm.
You know, had to like buy tickets through some random website, have those refunded to them, and then go somewhere else and buy the book. And, um, anyway, I feel, I feel proud of that and impressed with my audience.
Yeah. I mean, for someone to do something once is impressive and then for them to do it twice, that's like real love.
That's,
that's exactly what I'm trying to say. It's hard to be a person and just like get up and make toast or whatever. So to do anything it seems impossible. Also, during that time, my, um, my girlfriend was starting to get really sick. She's now, uh, feeling a lot better, but what a bonkers. A couple of weeks.
Yeah. You had a, you had a wild few weeks.
Yeah.
So did she, did she
end up testing positive for COVID-19? Um,
she's been diagnosed with COVID. Okay. So it's, uh, she has sort of a complicated medical situation that I won't necessarily go all the way into, but that, that was the diagnosis. And, um, you know, she was sick for like five weeks.
She's now feeling a lot better. Good. But, um, we had to go to and from the hospital a couple times per the instructions of her doctors, and it was very wild. I don't know, sometimes in a crisis I can be really good. And then there's the moment right after the crisis where you're just like. What the fuck just happened?
Yes. And I'm sort of in that moment right now where like literally my book tour's canceled, but then all other upcoming tour dates, like I was then supposed to do an off-Broadway run.
Mm-hmm. As a
standup. I was supposed to go to Edinburgh, to the Fringe Festival.
Oh yeah.
Um, like I had
this huge set of work things from March to essentially. Uh, the end of August, September. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
That we're all removed and obviously we can't, um, record the podcast. I'm used to recording in studio right now, so it was like, all jobs are canceled. Figure out how to do your job by yourself using technology that you've never used before.
Also, by the way, go to the hospital.
Yes. And, and while you're doing that, pivot your book sales so that you can still be a bestseller. So I think what I hear in that chair is how powerful you actually are. 'cause you're like, yep. I drove my girlfriend to, from the hospital. Yep. I pivoted my books. Sell. Still a bestseller.
Yes. I pivoted my, you know, amazing podcast to, with technology. I don't know. And like, I'm still getting up and doing things like, you, you know, you're wearing clothes, like, check. Oh, that's so, that's so nice to hear. Yes.
I do feel like, you know, again, like looking at the behavior from the last couple of weeks, I do feel pretty, I guess like impressed with myself for what.
I was able to do, and a lot of the reason I was able to do it is because I asked folks for like a lot of help.
Mm-hmm.
Um, you know, like I am not my, um, my girlfriend is immunosuppressed and so I am not her doctor. She actually has like 9 million doctors. I actually have zero doctors she has recently told me, which is true.
I just have like a dermatologist,
which is not helpful. Um, but I like the priorities of doctors.
Yeah. Like, so, so, you know, I'm not her doctor, you know, she can get resources and she's really good at that. And also I did have to sort of figure out how to use Zoom to host a bunch of book events, but I asked friends of mine or acquaintances who are writers to join me and I hosted like this series of.
Talks that I think help drive sales for the book because it was something people could attend. Mm-hmm.
And I've been
trying to figure out how to do standup for my home. Like actually do standup. Uh, yeah, your TikTok is going great. My TikTok is going great. Thank you very much Jordan. I like hopped on TikTok, but um, you know, I really do feel like, yeah, I guess I feel impressed also 'cause I wasn't like trying to, um, I mean, I have stressed myself out sometimes, but I think that, I think sometimes people forget that like, this is actually my job.
Mm-hmm.
Like, I, like I have gotten sometimes the feedback of like, just relax, like take it, like I'll post a video where I'm doing standup, but I'm also talking about being sad or stressed out right now. And someone will be like, you know, just like take a break and like feel free to play animal crossing and stuff like that.
And first of all, I absolutely am playing animal crossing and I love to fish. Yeah. But I also think that, you know, I do have to figure out how to work. Yeah. Yep. And that actually is my job. So it's not, um, it's not on unlike what potentially many people are dealing with. You know, there are the folks who are the essential workers that are still doing the jobs they were doing before.
Mm-hmm. But,
but with a greater danger. And then there are the people trying to figure out what the fuck.
Yeah, no, completely. The pivot is
co
I, I'm a, in addition to running Powerful ladies, I'm a business coach and consultant, and I focus on small businesses and mostly women owned. And we've all, like, I was so impressed at the variety of people where they were at like, full panic, not panicking at all, which made me a little bit nervous for them.
And then like, going with the flow. Yeah. And just to see how creative everybody's getting. And so we, we did a couple of like. Just like you're talking about, like a few zooms that we just launched and one was how to sell what, you know, like what you already know. And we're actually now gonna pivot it into a six week class.
'cause people are like, no, like, I really wanna do that. Like, how do I make money on Zoom? I'm like, I got you. Let's go. Uh, 'cause people have to be creative now. Like I, I think people like you and I are lucky in that being like entrepreneurs with multiple things happening. We're, we're kind of used to like, all right, let's just figure out how to make more money some way, or new money, or make this actually come together.
Whereas a lot of people are, haven't had that mindset where they just like clock in, clock out and like, don't have to think about work outside of that. So I feel like there's definitely an advantage for anyone who's been hustling in that space. Uh, and I think it's just going to, I think everyone's gonna have to pick up some of that because we really don't know what's gonna happen for as scary or not scary as we wanna make.
Yeah, that's a really interesting point. I mean, I will say, you know, sometimes I would crave, sometimes I have craved the stability of just somebody else telling me what to do. Yes. You know, there is that thing. I haven't had like a boss, a full-time boss since I was, um, I think 23.
Mm-hmm. You
know, I'm 38, so 15 years.
So for 15 years. Um, and that doesn't mean like I've had, it's more like I've just had a zillion, you know, I, when I was first starting as a comic, I had like a zillion, uh, part-time jobs.
Mm-hmm.
And before that I was working in education, but I had like, everything was, and it, and a lot of it was self-created, you know, like, um, approach this person and ask them if they have ever thought about having an open mic in their new bar.
Mm-hmm.
And like,
that mic still runs and we're still friends or, um. I was a nanny for folks because I basically was like, I'm good with kids. You know, like, and um, yeah. You know, so I am a little bit used to this, like you're saying, I do feel like I feel tired. Mm-hmm. You know, I feel like 15 years of trying to figure out how to support yourself and, and it is a privilege to get to be a small business owner.
Mm-hmm. Like, I actually considered that a massive privilege, but 15 years. And then to have it be like, it sort of reflects what you were just saying. It's like, yeah, I guess some of the skillset is still there, but like, are you serious that I have to do all new tools? Like that is like totally, I am tired, you know?
Mm-hmm. And I, so I guess I just wanna also acknowledge that, that it's like, it's not so easy or fun. Like that's stressful to have your tools stop working. Is stressful.
Yeah. Or just any systems that you've put in place, right? Like Yeah, that's right. You know, we're, both of us are lucky that we have Jordan, and usually we just get to show up and talk.
Like I don't have to do anything else. Like if I showed you what I'm, I currently have a ridiculous setup in my bedroom, right. Like, I'm learning how to put in a light and use a mic stand and you know, this crazy contraption that I'm like, I don't even know what it actually does or what it's called if somebody asked me.
Um, and so as I panic, because
you're shaking it.
Yes. Don't touch it. Yeah. But it's like, so I get it like. Especially if, like, I work with a lot of creative entrepreneurs and if you're a creative entrepreneur, we wanna keep you as far away from processes, systems, technology. Not that you can't do it, but it's not where you excel or not your flow state.
So if those keep changing Totally. It's so exhausting. And even people who love that stuff, it's still a complete pain in the ass. Like, yeah, I just figured that out. It finally felt normal. And you're like, no,
but you know, I think that what you just said is also it's like so affirming and and awesome to hear, which is like, I, well I do think there's, we're in this moment right now where even for people that comics that start today, you know, I started in comedy and improv when I was in college.
Mm-hmm. When I was 19 and you know, that's almost 20 years ago. And so like. I had had, let's see, if I started in like, I'd had five years of performing before YouTube even existed. Mm-hmm. Or, or Twitter. Um, because I was performed in 2006 and then I had six more years of performing before I moved of live performance before I moved to la.
And in 2012 is sort of when a lot of that stuff became, it just peaked in a mm-hmm. In a different way. Folks were getting hired for writing jobs off of Twitter, like in Hollywood.
Mm-hmm. Which
was not a thing that was happening prior to that. You really had to be face-to-face and like, uh, earn your stripes.
And then now in 2020, it does feel like even prior to all of this, there are so many folks that are starting using, like we're sort of past the. YouTube creator Yeah. Is a separate thing than comic.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. Timeframe. Like, so somebody sort of decides what they are. Like I'm a, you know, whatever type of, you know, I'm a super sarcastic, whatever it is, and it's your voice that stays the same.
Mm-hmm. So like somebody might have, you know, a TikTok or whatever the fuck, but that didn't, none of this used to exist. And so in some small way, what's happening right now is like a very sped up version of what's been happening over the last 15 or 20 years across the board. Yeah. Which is that I think a lot of people are being called upon to have like 97 jobs
mm-hmm.
In their same industry. Like, oh, I have to know how to like look at. Camera angles, but that's not my, my job is to talk into the microphone.
Yeah.
You know, so it just is like very, I think it's, it's been a very interesting time where we're moving away from like a true specialty into sort of an expectation that everyone is a jack of all trades.
Yeah. It's, and it's warp speed learning. Like what we've learned individually in the past four weeks is probably more than what we've learned in the past four years because of like how fast we've had to learn it. And I, I, I like using the analogy of like how Africa adopted phone technology. They never had landlines and then just jumped to mobile phones.
And to your point, like comics now, like there are people who've, like, even musicians, they've never performed live in front of people, and now they, they have fans. You're like, how, what, are you allowed to skip those steps? Like, I didn't know we could skip steps. Like Yeah. It's, it's, it's baffling to me.
It's, um, super specific for comedy too, because for music, you know, sort of the whole point is that you wanna have your hits.
That's like kind of the whole point of music where it's like you're practicing, practicing, practicing. And then if a song is ex is successful, people wanna hear that. Mm-hmm.
Until
you die. And for comedy it's, um, the surprise of the first time somebody hears the joke is really important. And so, you know, if you are doing something on the internet, it actually means that it, it doesn't work in live performance.
Mm-hmm. And, and if, you know, if you're doing something on a special on Netflix, like you can't then sell tickets for people to come see you do that thing. And that is something that's also very interesting to me when I think about a person starting now.
Mm-hmm.
Is that. It's just a backwards learning from what used to be the case.
Yeah. Which is like, you go, you tell the joke to like audiences essentially one at a time until it gets really good. Mm-hmm. As opposed to telling the, showing the largest percentage of people the joke first. I'm very curious to see what happens
mm-hmm.
For the generations of comics that are starting specifically right now.
Like what this will mean. I think it's, I think it's endlessly interesting. Yeah. Something is going to happen to comedy because people are starting right now. Mm-hmm. And I, I'm like, I can't wait to see what it's,
it's like, what do you do? Like it just a bunch, like every Friday night you do like live Zoom comedy and like that's your new thing to test this stuff out.
Right? Like I don't,
do you think they'll call them comedies? That's my joke. I'm a comedian now. It's me. I am this. Who,
who, why
did you wanna again? You're booked. I booked. You booked. Perfect. I'll be on TikTok later.
So
I
thank you for even knowing that I have a TikTok. I've really been working hard to make TikTok, uh, something that I understand Well, I, I told, I told Kara before, I think yesterday, I was like, oh, Cameron has some pretty funny stuff on, on her Instagram page.
And Kara was like dying laughing at some of her stuff. Yeah. And in the corner it says TikTok. Exactly. I've been, you know, I've been evolving with the times. Yes.
I, I think, I think you and I are the same age cam, so like when people talk about TikTok, I get like a little sweaty because it, I feels like, it makes, it reminds me that I am older than other people using technology and I, again, I get that feeling of like, I have to learn something else.
Like I'm just figuring out the right way to post something and now you want me to do something where? Everyone looks ridiculous on it, on purpose. Like I, yeah, hold on. I, I, I feel like I just need to outsource it. Like, I, I had literally had a call the other day with someone who's a YouTube video expert to be, to exactly what you said.
Tell me like, when I'm doing these zooms, like where should I be looking? What like, do I, how much lighting do I need? Like, and, and she's like, oh, we're gonna have to start at zero. I'm like, okay, thank you. Oh God,
that's really funny. I follow two people on TikTok. One of them is Sierra Nice. Who is the producer on this show that books everybody and makes everything happen.
Sarah's also hilarious. Standup Comic Sierra is one of my follows. And then the other one is, uh, my girlfriend's friend's daughter because, love it. That is the only reason I understand what TikTok is, is because I follow this 18-year-old that lives in New York. She's very good at it. She's like, she's like, legitimately, she has like 20.
8,000 followers or whatever, just she's just a human. Wow. Yes. Like I just mean, she's not like a, she's not an influencer.
She's not, yeah. I mean, I guess she is. She's, she's got 20,000 followers on TikTok. Her videos do really well. It's amazing. Yeah. I know.
Speaking of age, Cameron, I don't know if I ever told you this, so I think you and Kara are similar ages, but the two of you went to college an hour away from each other.
What? Right?
Yeah. Where did you go to school? Kara Clark University. In Worcester.
In Worcester you said? Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. We did go to, um, look, one thing that is true is that when I went to college, I still stayed my high school boyfriend and he was a football player and he played football at Georgetown.
Yeah.
And they were playing Holy Cross. Oh yeah. Mm-hmm. In Worcester. And I. I wanted to see him the night before he was playing. And so I, uh, called a cab. Oh. And I said, will you take me to Worcester? And he was like, what? Anyway, I did, I took a cab to Worcester. I went and like surprised my boyfriend at his hotel room and was like, hello, I'm here.
And then his coach came out of the next room over and was like. You're not allowed to have visitors, you're in trouble. She has to leave you immediately. Oh. So then I went back downstairs and left and it was a, I think it was a $250 round trip. I did not have any money. Oh my God. So that was just, that was sad.
That was just like where I was at. I, I think I was having a hard time adjusting to college and I felt like
mm-hmm.
My boyfriend was an hour away and I like, could not deal with, not with waiting till the next day to see him. 'cause I think I took a train the next day. Yeah. Anyway, that's a, that just, that's an example of an expensive and useless cab ride.
You can take two.
It makes me think of Kyle Jordan. So our sister got married just outside of Worcester and she had friends fly in from San Francisco in LA 'cause she used to live out here and. They also tried to take a taxi from Logan Airport to Worcester, and I remember being like, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Like we will send people to pick you up. Like, don't do that. They're like, it's no big deal. I take taxis everywhere. I'm like, I'm sure you do. I'm sure you do. Please don't. Where did you go? Were you in Boston going to school? I went to Bo. I went to Boston College. Oh yeah. Nice. Did you end up going to Maryanne's then?
I did go to Maryanne's. Oh, I went to Maryanne's on my 21st birthday. Yes. You're officially a BC student. Yes.
Yeah, I was Maryanne's the local bar that is down the street that, that you, they're like really strict on IDing and you can't get in until you're 21 and then mm-hmm. Everybody goes on their 21st birthday.
Yeah. Um, yeah, I did go to Marion. That's so funny. I, uh,
yeah. I also have very, very mixed feelings about my college experience. What did you, what did you major in? Theology. The theology.
Yeah, because you wanted to be a priest, right?
That's
right.
Oh, that? Yes. Okay. Jordan, you gotta listen to slash read my book slash read it while listening to my book. Yeah. Or maybe listen to query that is really what I'm learning right now.
Or just listen while she's talking. Every time you record Jesus
Jordan, you're in big trouble. How many, how many episodes have we done together? 89,000,
something like
that.
Yeah. Yeah. But that's also why you made your, but also English your Pope suit, right? For your book cover.
Yes. Yes, exactly. Yeah. I was a amazing A theology and thank you.
I was a theology and English double major, and I was a faith, peace and justice minor.
Whoa. So you had very light conversations regularly?
Yes. Like, just sort of like how I still do, I'm just a chill person and Yeah. Just having calm chillness. Yeah. Uh, no, I was, I was having serious, that has a very good read on it.
I was having very serious conversations, faith, peace, and justice. Mm-hmm. Um, you know, so I think I learned, I mean, I'm, I am glad I went somewhere where that could be a major that you had, uh, that was positive for me because I think it was some stuff I was really interested in. Mm-hmm. But, um, yeah, there was a lot about BC that like, I really didn't understand.
Well, there's all the stereotypes, right? Like the, the prepping. Tell me the stereotypes at bc. Yeah, well, just like the preppiness level, the, um, income disparity between most people who are there and the people that end up there on scholarships and other reasons. Mm-hmm. Um, I mean, I think this, I think these stereotypes apply to all, uh, Boston universities for the most part.
Um, but BC definitely wins, I think, for the preppy edge in all of them.
Sure. I mean, there was also, there were also a lot of people who I grew up near, um, in Chicago who went there. I think 14 people from my high school class went there was one of the biggest,
yeah. Oh, wow. Uh, one of my best friends who went there is from Michigan.
Yep. Mm-hmm. And, you know, I guess I'm not like. Obviously those things make a lot of sense. Boston itself is also so preppy. Um, in many ways the white people in Boston are very preppy. Yeah. I'll be more specific. Um, but I think that, I think for me, BC is also like, it was way more religious than I realized.
Mm-hmm. Because I went there, I was so religious when I went there, I was like raised so religious. I went to really super conservative Catholic high school. And so then I got there and was, it just felt normal to me. Mm-hmm. And I think that in the time since I have realized a lot more about like, how bizarre that environment was.
How bizarre it must have been for anybody that went there that wasn't Catholic.
Mm-hmm.
Or a, or anybody that was like a person of color. Because that intersects with the colonialism of Yes. Catholicism in a very. A parent way. And then, you know, for me as a queer person, super strange place to mm-hmm. Go to college because I was really set up to think that like the rest of my life was gonna be like that, you know?
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And for women too, for, for women, totally gnarly placed to go to school. You cannot get, um, birth control on campus. And, you know, most students get their healthcare at the on-campus healthcare facilities. Like there's, you know, there's a nursing school at bc so we had doctors and like, that's where you go to mm-hmm.
To the, you go to the clinic. Yeah. But you, but they, because it's Catholic, you're not able to get a prescription for the pill. Like that is fucking nuts. Mm-hmm. To think about.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, the stuff that I was into there, I mean, I certainly went to the football games and tailgates 'cause that was like.
Social
part of it. Yeah. Um, but I also, I started doing improv there. Um, BC actually weirdly, is home to the oldest collegiate improv group in the country. Really? Which is very strange. Oh, wow. Fascinating. Uh, like when I was there, um, they had their 25th anniversary and I think that they were, they're like having their 40 something anniversary this year.
Wow. I could do the math if it wasn't right now. Um, but, uh, yeah, so, so that was true. It's not like it's a very artsy campus, you know, it's not like NYU or whatever. Yeah. So like, it definitely was also you're like part of an outlier group if you're doing anything. Performer e um, much more like a jockey vibe.
Yes.
Yeah. Uh, but I also played rugby when I was there for at least the first like two years. And then, um. Which is very, that feels very BC to me, but I also didn't know like everyone on the. A team was like secretly, uh, lesbian.
Like I joined the gayest thing on the planet and was just like unaware, like did not know.
And then you're like, I'm having so much fun. This feels great.
Yeah. I mean, it was cool. Like, I'm very glad that I happened. I just had played a bunch of sports in, in high school. I got to, uh, college and BC is like such a good sports school.
It's like, you know, D one sports school. So I couldn't have like, just walked on. Well, I mean, I don't know. Whatever. I didn't even try. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Maybe, I don't know, but, and just been like bad on the swim team. I don't know. Maybe. But what I, what I did do was there were two club sports you could choose.
One of them was, uh, crew. Mm-hmm. And one of them was rugby and crew. You had to get up at five o'clock in the morning. Yeah. So I was like, I think I'll be playing rugby, you know, but, but because of that, I had the opportunity to go. Um, we played. Some schools in Boston, like Tufts or Harvard mm-hmm. Or whatever.
But we, we also played a lot of schools that were in the Pioneer Valley, like Smith.
Mm-hmm. And
like, thank God I had a chance to play Smith because like, even if I didn't understand what was going on with my team, like definitely when you meet the Smith rugby team, you like, you really know what's going on.
Yeah. We played them in field hockey. Oh my god. Field hockey alone is like one of the stereotypical, you know, options. Yes. If you're, yes. If you're, if you're queer and you're like, I, I've had, I played field hockey and then I was driving to Subaru and someone's like, I think you're gay. And I'm like, what?
And I was like, I don't think I am. But what are you talking about? Like clueless on the other way around?
Well, I mean, like, you know, first of all, I do think it's important that you recognize the culture that you're appropriating when you drive a Subaru and play field hockey. Oh, no.
I cannot wait for this to end up on you. Is this racist? Like that be the next,
I don't, I mean, not, maybe not racist, maybe that's not the word for it, but, um, uh, but yeah, it was super cool to see the Smith team and like, I didn't know that it would, you know, but it's, it is one of those things that I go back to is like, oh, right.
That was like, those are like the first, you know, queer people I saw essentially. Yeah. That were like, just so, so clearly this is what was going on. Mm-hmm. You know, as they like make out on the sidelines or whatever. Like it's not, it's not confusing. Um, so that was really helpful and amazing. And then also at BC I was, I was like, I was going to a lot of mass.
Mm-hmm. I went to
Daily Mass. I was also a Eucharistic minister, so I was like the person that, you know, hands out the host and everything. Mm-hmm. I was going to a lot of, um, protests, some of which were like. Things that make sense to me still that I, you know, still believe in.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, but because it was Catholic social justice work, then there's like, there's always like a little abortion sort of Yeah.
Squished into the stuff that actually makes sense. Mm-hmm. So, um, you know, uh, but yeah, I think I had maybe a slightly different experience at BC than, um, the average bear.
Mm-hmm.
Yes. Which again, or eagle. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Which again, I think made can, you know, actually made me feel like more of a weirdo, if that makes sense.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I'm like, everybody's a white person wearing a sweatshirt, why am I so weird? You know? Yeah. But it's like I just was actually in a microcosm of all the same thing. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So if you very intense majors, you're playing these sports. How did you discover this improv group? What a great question, Jordan.
Hopping in, um, you know, my, my, one of my close friends who was also one of my roommates, um, had a, had a friend who was older than us who was in it, and it was all very like, brainy and eggheady because I was in, like, I was also in a couple like leadership groups, like where you had to, to apply and like write Exactly.
You had to like apply and write essays and you had to come to campus early and like, do you know, whatever the fuck.
Mm-hmm. Like.
Per building, you know, you're, you're building with teams, but you're also building with yourself. Whatever. I was in like all of that. Like, you, you now understand who I am, right?
Yeah. Like I've high school, I'm like, I'm the person in high school. I'm like on student government. I'm like setting up for all the dances. I'm also the mascot, which is a bird. I'm also dating the captain of football team. I'm like friends with all the teachers, but not in a creepy way. Like, not like I hang out with them, but I'm like, great to see you, you know, Mr.
Martha or whatever. Yes. And he's like, great to see you, Cameron. You are breaking the uniform code, so you're gonna get a detention. And I'm like, definitely. You know, like that's who I was, you know? So then I, I got to college, I was like, um, the same way. And the, the improv group was like a bunch of nerdy
Yeah.
Dorks. And I,
I think powerful leaders found out about
them and
joined them up. We might secretly be the like secret nerd society just having conversations together. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I think there's a, there be nerdy in that capacity of like doing stuff and doing things you're interested in, whether you care what other people think or not, I think is what leads to being awesome and up to something as an adult.
Oh, that's amazing. What an interesting, well, right, like I was always involved. Mm-hmm. Like, whatever the fuck that means. And I was always kind of doing it a little bit of a different way maybe too, you know, because there was like some queerness crashing in and some like, um, gender fuckery crashing in. So that meant that it looked a little different than maybe if I had just been like a gender normative, uh, straight woman.
You know, like maybe I would've been more on the Yeah. Prom queen side of things, but I was much more on the like. You know, winning. Yeah. Next. Janine Garaffo was my high school superlative. It's interesting to look back at your life and just figure out why some choices really appealed. Mm-hmm. So for instance, something like improv, it's like, well, I was at this school that I didn't realize was potentially oppressive, so I found like self-expression.
Yeah. That makes a lot of sense to me. Um, you got crushed like a diamond. Yeah. Yeah. And I actually got my first job performing professionally the day after I graduated from BC I went to
auditions
for a local improv company in Boston. Mm-hmm. And I, I got cast the day after I graduated from school. So even though I, like, I didn't actually think it was a job yet, like a career that one could have, I started working in.
The field almost immediately, not almost immediately. Immediately. Um, and it's just sort of always grown from there. So did you know by like the end of your senior year that you're like, oh, I'm not going this route, I'm going a completely different route? No, like I was, so I was working in education. I worked at a school, um, for, I worked at a charter school in Boston, uh, that was right in the middle of the BU campus.
And so it was like an urban charter school with a mostly black population. And Is that Boston Latin? No, it was called a match school.
The Match. Okay.
Um, but then I, after that I worked at, um, a school for, for, um. Kids with severe physical disabilities, so like special needs kids, but there, but it's, it's not learning disabilities.
It's like they use a computer to talk and are in a motorized wheelchair. And I worked at that school and then I thought I would continue that path. Um, and I applied to go to grad school 'cause I wanted to be a social worker and work with, um, like disenfranchised populations in some way in, uh, high school.
And the whole time I was doing all that other stuff, I was just sort of doing comedy at night. Even when for, I mean, I had a, I had a 40 hour a week comedy job. I worked at an improv theater for 40 hours a week. I just also worked 40 hours a week at a school. Um,
that's so much. Yes. So everyone out there not doing 80 hour or two shifts like slacking, slacking.
No wonder you're so tired. It's Exactly, yeah. I was working 80 hours a week. I would work from seven to four at the school and then I would work from five till 10 at the, um, at improv shows, and then I would work on the weekends also.
Mm-hmm. At
improv. And, um, I mean, I was like young or whatever, so I guess it was also doable.
But, um, anyway, I just thought everybody did. I thought everybody had 97 jobs, which for thousands of hours a day.
Yeah. Like, isn't this normal? How else do
you
hustle? It's all normal. Yeah.
Yeah. Um, but it was, you know, I was, I was already in social work school.
Mm-hmm.
Um, when I realized that I didn't need to do all of that and maybe should just try to have one career.
Yeah. Was it hard to leave the kids and the. The people that you were helping?
I did really love, um, those jobs. Like by the time I was in social work school, I was also working at, uh, home for really young people like, like young kids who couldn't be placed into foster care because they were, um, some of them were violent or some of them were like sex offenders, but they were super young.
And, um,
yeah, I mean, it did, it did definitely feel like my life had meaning.
Mm-hmm.
You know, you work with like a disenfranchised population. It, there's no, there's no day that I would come home and be like, was any of this, you know, versus sometimes. If I'm podcasting, I might be like, I'm not sure that the world needed this.
You know, like, you know, it's just like, you know what I'm saying? So there's a, there's a, there's a less direct feeling of the results.
Well, I think same with like having to do comedy through Zoom, right? Where you can't feel the audience. But I think, I don't, it doesn't surprise me that you've structured your podcast in a way where you're still serving a minority population and telling those stories and like giving that hope and like, just showing people that there's more than what you might've experienced at BC out there, right?
Like your podcast is not you sitting there talking about like, what shoes you're wearing. So, like, I, it's, there's so much power in that. So, you know, I don't want you to take that away from yourself because it, it's important to so many people and it, it's just such good. Even if it's lighthearted in moments, like it's just such good content and storytelling, we need, honestly, more of it.
Yeah. I, I actually, I do agree with you. You know, I feel like I've always been interested in the same thing, which is, you know, how to include folks in the margins and how to fight for justice. Like, I, I mean it's, it really is that serious for me. Like I'm a joking around guy, but it's that serious.
Mm-hmm.
And you know, I know that that's what I was interested in before when I was super religious and like I know that's what I was interested in then when I was trying to be a social worker. I know that that's what I'm interested in. I know that it's what I'm interested in now. I think sometimes it can get confusing when the brand that I have centered my business around is, is myself, even though that's not actually me.
Yeah. I'm a human being. And then there's like Cameron Esposito, tm. Yeah. That's like outside of myself. Um. But I think that that is, you know, I have some self-consciousness about that. Mm-hmm. And I don't, I don't think that's, you know, negative or it just is something I have to, like,
it's normal everyone
deal with.
Mm-hmm. You know, where it's like, I, I'm hearing from people that, oh, it's really helping me to read your book right now. And I'm like, okay, cool, thank you. But do you know how embarrassed I feel that I am promoting a book right now? You know, but it's, but then it's also, there's like some, a little bit of that is also maybe lacks humility.
Like, just do your job, you know? So I think it's, I think I'm always just trying to figure out how to. You know, walk through this mm-hmm. Complicated path
to, well, my unsolicited advice would be just be all of you. Like, the number one thing that I run into with my clients is they're trying to just put like a square of them into their business.
And I'm like, no. Like, people want the whole unicorn that you are because how, like that's where the, the magic is. Like really bringing that all together. So I think it's great that you're having these different outlets where you get to give a little bit different of you. 'cause it's, it's filling out the, your, you know, you as brand into this force and it just makes you that much cooler when you're like, wait, she's funny and she cares.
Like, what this happens. Like, these things overlap. Like there's so many comedians that I adore. And like, I love laughing so like all day, every day. Um, but there's some that you're like, you have a bajillion followers, like please do something with it. And so I'm, I love that you're in that balance.
Actually, I, I had to record, um, the audio book mm-hmm.
For save Yourself and. Which is the name of my book. I don't even know if I said that. If you would like to know the kind of book you could have to sell during a pandemic, it could be called Save Yourself. That's a, that's something that could happen.
I mean, that to me, that is the book Odds Shining in your Favor.
Yeah. What the fuck?
Like, do you think there's something? But it's like somebody
picks it up. They're like, great. Finally instructions. Yes. Since the president is really failing right now, maybe this will tell us how to do it. And it's just like,
you're gay. That's all it says. Um, would you have added a chapter about Lysol if you were writing it now?
I mean,
that's a great question. Um, what a humiliation this is for all of us. Mm-hmm. What a, an abject humiliation. Not even saying we don't deserve it, but holy shit. Holy shit. You know, there are people listening. Right? I know. You know, but I mean, I don't mean to this podcast there, I just mean as a country, right?
Like we know there are people listening to this, right? Like there's pe like there's us and how shamed we are of it and how pissed off we're, but there's also like other countries that are, you know, there might even be a translated version that are like, look at what's happening. Yeah. I've been watching season two of the Crown Oh's love, and it's all about, like, it's all about like, um, the demise of an empire, and it's completely the perfect thing to watch right now.
Mm-hmm. Because you're just like, yep. See, I, that is how it feels. I, I also will say, I don't think that you should ever feel bad about promoting your book, especially right now, because people need. And not saying that your book is a distraction, but like, because you have a book, it's people need distractions right now, so like, they should be reading they and reading awesome stories and Yeah.
So I don't think you should feel bad about promoting your book because people need that. It's, it's a baby. Thank you for saying that. I think it's like, I think it's, I'll, I'll tell you maybe a little bit more about why it feels complicated. Yeah. Yeah. And part of that is, um, there is something, and this is not, I don't think this is all negative, it just is like, this is the level of stuff that I think about or the, the feedback that I get.
And I do take feedback seriously. I try to not like only speak to feedback, but I do take it seriously because as an artist, I'm trying to interact with the world. Um. Some artists are not. First of all, I'll just say that some artists are like, boop, like, this is what I'm doing. I'm trying to interact with the world.
So one thing that is true is that if you, uh, sell a copy of a book, um, or like however many thousands of copies of a book, you don't really make any money off of that. The money that you make as a writer, you make it like way years ago, I literally made all the money probably that I'm ever gonna make off of this book.
And it's, and you also make books are not a very lucrative endeavor. Mm-hmm. So I made a very small amount of money, or not small amount of money, but because it lasted years, because it's, you don't get like a. Um, you get a couple different checks, like when the deal is signed and when they accept the manuscript and then, you know, like it, it's broken up in a couple different ways, but it's not, if you were to factor it as an hourly wage, it's not such a massive amount of money.
And this is true for most people, except for like the authors who are making, who are the top, top, top tier in the game. You know, the people who, their book is always the number one bestseller. Like there may be, they're may be getting a slightly different deal, but even those folks make most of their money off of live appearances.
Mm-hmm. And this is like, I know this is like gonna be such a nerdy long answer. I
love this.
But, um, you know, so there isn't really any money in books, but at a time when so many people are suffering financially, anytime you're trying to sell anything, I am aware, and especially because so many of my audience members are part of a marginalized community, you know, queer folks, but then any intersection that they have thereof.
Okay, so they're a queer person, but they're also trans person. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And they're also a trans person of color. Like we know that any marginalization compounds the way that this is affecting us, that this particular thing is affecting us. Mm-hmm. So, like, you know, queer folks, there are more people in my community who are immunosuppressed.
Mm-hmm. Because there are more people who are, uh, HIV positive. Yeah. There are more people who work low wage jobs. Mm-hmm. Because we're. More marginalized. Um, we, we get paid less for the same work. Mm-hmm. Because we're, because my audiences, you know, has lesbians in it and women don't make as much money. So you get, then you go to your audience and you say, I know you're super suffering right now, but can you buy this book?
And I think that there is a part of that that can feel tone deaf.
Yeah.
And not every artist has to deal with this.
Mm-hmm.
Um, to the same degree. Like when you make, you know, part of this is not a choice I made. Like I, I was always gonna be. Part of a marginalized community because I'm a queer person.
'cause I'm a woman because I'm like, have some gender non-conformity. Mm-hmm. I was always gonna be that, but I chose instead of like, pretending that's not true to like lean into that. Mm-hmm. And to say, yes, this is my community. So, you know, I guess I just say all of this because like, I don't always see straight, white, cis dude comics having to do this, like elaborate math.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
I do have to do it. Or even it's
considerate math. Like it's considerate even for you where you're at to still be putting your audience first because you don't have to even, even, um, like you have such clarity about being of and for your community that I think people just don't have in general, regardless of what their community is.
So I, I think that, you know, mega props to you for. Seeing it as it's happening and being in it as it's happening. Because I think honestly, it's gonna make you a better artist because you are, you're in it, like you're in the depths with, with the people who are coming to hang out with you.
That's really awesome to hear.
Thank you for saying that. Yeah. I mean, it just, you know, I mean, the other thing is that like, I do think some of this is me being a conscientious person and also queer folks will tell you
mm-hmm.
You know, a marginalized community wants, its like I'm using the word representatives in quotes. Yeah. Because like, I didn't, you know, I don't, I don't think I've been elected to this job.
You're, you're not the official ambassador wants to, but wants to keep its more visible. Members honest, you know? So like, I think I have this in me, we've already talked about like mm-hmm. Where I come from and why I would be more
mm-hmm.
Inclined to do this, but also this community, like so often I will hear like a straight dude, you know.
Um, especially like a straight white man, talk about like somebody not liking a certain joke that they made. And it's like my friend, I am patrolled on like word choice. Mm-hmm. The venue that I perform at, um, like when I'm promoting a thing and when I'm not promoting a thing and when I should be working harder and when I should be working less hard.
Mm-hmm. And it's not that I want to seed all of my power to someone else. But it's because you're conscious about it all, and these are the people who are gonna buy tickets. Yeah, yeah. You know, so it's like the, the, the like, super loving read is like, I really care about people. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But there's also a cynical read, which is like, I also want my business to do well.
Mm-hmm. You know, and these are the people that, that, uh, patronize my business. You Yeah. And I think that it's important to make sure to know your audience. Yeah. You love your community and your community loves you. That's what I'm hearing at the end of the day.
But that's what a sweetheart, but that's really, that's how to be the best business person.
Like, you don't wanna have customers, you wanna have fans. And the only way to have a fan is to really have a relationship with the people who are. Interested in consuming what you're creating. And so many brands get that wrong, right? So like you as brand, it, it just says like, ding, ding, ding. Like, we're getting this part right?
Like, you can go to bed and sleep well because you know that you're putting this customer first because they should be from all the reasons, right? Like when we talk about all the why's we have, I tell people, look at your three why's, the ones that are holy wises, that sound really good and, and give you points where you want 'em, the ones that are totally practical and selfish.
And then you have all your hidden why's. And I see that in how you talk about this community, where you really see all the reasons why you need them and on all the ways. And it's okay to have all those ways. Um, none of them are wrong. Like it, it is just making you a more. You, you have a more dynamic relationship with your customer base or fan base than, uh, most people do.
It's even brands that are, you know, multimillion international brands. So you should be really proud of that. Uh, oh, that's cool. I,
I also, to tie it back to even what you had said earlier too about the comparison of doing social work to comedy and with social working, you're getting that like immediate.
Um, connection with people. I also feel like you touch a lot of people's lives so you don't realize, and I am an example 'cause I remember telling you I was on a plane one time and just talking to a passenger next to me and they identified as non-binary. And I had mentioned query and I said that I worked on the show and I thought this person was gonna cry because they had, they had said that you changed their life and you, neither of you had met.
But because of the show and because of who you are and what you represent to the community, like it changed their life and it made them feel like they could be the person they are today. So it's you, you don't even get those moments with your community. Yeah. Sometimes. You know, something that has been really wild is like I did these Zoom panels that I was talking about earlier.
Yeah. And, um, you had impressive people on those panels too. Oh my God. They were massively successful. The guests were like amazing. Yeah. Hundreds of people came to all of them, like came to each individual one. Um, you know, the, like the Zoom meeting would be full. It was, it was amazing. And I also will say that so often when I meet people.
Um, it's like after a show and when you have talked for 60 minutes on stage, when I have talked for 60 minutes on stage mm-hmm. I'm on drugs. Like it is not, your body does not, you cannot regulate how much adrenaline
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Is pumping through your body. You're in, I'm in a totally altered state of mind and I, I'm trying so hard to be there and be present with the person that, that's speaking to me, but it is like, I'm in like a full blackout.
Yeah. Like, I just am. I, it's so hard. Different. It's a crazy high. It's a crazy, it's, yeah. It's so hard to process what's going on. Mm-hmm. I also, I also sometimes feel like physically unsafe just because I'm so up that I'm not necessarily aware of my space. So I always ask for like, tons of security because
mm-hmm.
I just feel less, I don't know what's going on around me and weird shit has happened for that reason. So anyway, I say all this because I've been doing these Zoom things and it's like still stressful or something, but it's like it's way less and the, we've been taking audience questions and. People would raise their digital hand and then I'd like see them in their homes and they have been saying such nice things.
It's been a really amazing experience because it's been more, I've been able to be more present. Yeah. Even though it's still not like a hundred percent, uh, without some adrenaline stuff, but it just is like less than what I've previously experienced. It's pretty cool. Mm-hmm. Thanks. The quarantine.
Well, I think this is a great time to ask you.
When you heard about Powerful Ladies or just the phrase powerful ladies, like what does it mean to you? What does it make you think? Is it good, is it bad? Like, what's all the stuff that comes up for you with the phrase powerful ladies?
Oh, that's such a good question. Um, I guess I don't know what the word powerful means.
Mm-hmm. Okay.
So I'm trying to figure that out. And also. I also don't think I know what the word ladies means. Yep. Yeah. You know, because like, this is something that I'm trying to, you know, it's a hashtag type thing, and I don't know how much those things matter. Don't matter. What I will say is that, um, and the queer community, the understanding of gender has been evolving so quickly
mm-hmm.
In the last few years. It's, it's really different than anything I've experienced. Obviously I'm just the age I am, I'm sure there've been different times, but, but it just is like, um, trying to figure out which words resonate. It's, it feels more complicated to me than it ever has
before. Mm-hmm.
So that, that's part of it is like, am I powerful?
Am I a lady? I guess that's what I thought before signing in, and I said, we'll see. Yeah. Yeah. We'll see. I think one of the, um. One of the things I always established with Carrie, even before the podcast began was we had a lot of discussions on, should it be called Powerful Ladies or should it, can it be called like powerful humans or powerful people?
Mm-hmm. And Powerful Ladies is like years and years and years in the making and it was just about supporting. Other females and helping people feel powerful to the point where powerful ladies actually had their first episode with a male guest. So we're trying to come across everything. And I know I expressed to Kara having you on that, I was like, I wanna touch upon like how your show is so indicative on how making sure that like, however you identify, you're never gonna be judged.
Mm-hmm.
And p like, that's the one thing I always say about powerful ladies, even though it's the name Powerful ladies, we're not here to judge anyone. Like we're here to like lift you up.
Yeah. I think if we do any judging, it's like, are you doing something with your life or are you just Netflix and chilling with your life?
Yeah. Like that's our judgment level. Like, are you doing something, are you doing nothing after that, we don't care. Yeah.
Well also I think that, you know, I think for me that was, I, I so hear you and appreciate that. And I think I was. Also speaking about like also the evolving understanding that's coming from the inside.
Yeah. You know, like that I don't actually feel like, like I absolutely identify with the word feminist. Mm-hmm. And like, I politically identify as a woman. Like, I just mean, it's like I can't ever, for me it's like I don't ever wanna leave those things behind. 'cause I, I absolutely see misogyny as the root of homophobia.
Like there's, there's so much, um mm-hmm. Overlapping understanding here and then there's individual identity and trying to figure out which things, you know, make sense. Yeah. And it's, it's like a fun slash complicated time where we get to be expansive.
Yeah. It's
like, it's actually, it's actually, I think it's really positive.
So,
yeah. And, and part of the struggle I had with the name was that I just wanna talk to what the tagline says, like the awesome and the up to something, because. Like, I know how many people's stories are not being, are not being talked about, and I know how many, um, how many people are in this gap like.
Part of what with the catalyst to the, to the powerful leads from the beginning was I got invited to go to a, like women's conference in Chicago and by a powerful lady I was introduced to is like the super high powered executive in Boston. And I went to go apply and you had to be an executive at a Fortune 500 company to go.
And I'm like, this is dumb. Like this. The, the amount of Fortune 500 executives is such a small population, right? So like they get all these resources and they we're giving resources to people that don't have access to resources like we should be. Like what about everybody in the middle? Like it's such a huge range of people who from and, and focusing again on, on people who are, you know, in entrepreneur or multi entrepreneur just doing their own thing.
Like if you're cur curating your own life, that could be someone who does nails and it could be someone who, you know, has a multimillion dollar company. But we're all still like figuring this out and why don't we get resources? Like every, like why aren't we giving people the top executive level resources?
Like we're not like it. It comes down to that whole concept of who, who do we need to empower and who, who don't we? And I figure my piece is highlighting people who are, I think are doing a great job of that and really carving their own path. Then at least I can be that contribution. Plus I get to selfishly have amazing conversations with cool people.
So again, it all comes back to at least one selfish why in what we do things. Um, but yeah, and it was hard 'cause like I didn't wanna cut out the people in my life who are male or who don't know if they identify as a lady and even people who. Our, you know, off the chopping block, you know, super stereotypical women are still offended by the word powerful ladies, where we have conversations about it, because to them it sounds like power suits and bad haircuts.
And I'm like, no. Like we get to recreate that. Like let's take ownership of it. Like, to me it's like, I don't know, a hybrid of Shera and Gem and the holograms and powerpuff girls. Like, that's powerful ladies. So, I don't know, do you wanna make our own club? I kind of do. So that's my rant, my powerful ladies rant.
So now I'm just having whoever I want on it and if, and talking about it. 'cause I think it's really fascinating where people are at. That's awesome. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Oh yeah. My
last question for you is, as all the stuff that you've gone through from childhood up until now, if there was a piece of advice that you could give someone, what would, what would it be?
Regardless of their situation, regardless of anything. Like if there was one thing that you wish you were told, these are the hard questions now, right at the end. Well, I mean, this is based just on how I feel today, but, um, I think it would be, um, you're doing better than you think, but that is based on just every person that I know in my life.
Mm-hmm. Being really hard on themselves. So that's like what I need to remember every day. I'm very hard on myself, so. Hmm. Do
you have
that
on
a,
on a post-it for yourself?
I don't, but I have like a very similar things from friends that are written in, up on my fridge. Mm-hmm. Um. Yeah. Yeah. But I, I definitely, you know, make a lot of calls to people.
I ask them, sometimes I just ask people, am I doing okay? I'm serious. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I, like, is it, you're somebody I trust and respect. Answer this, am I doing okay? Like as a person, you know, I will call friends and ask them. That's great. I'm, I'm laughing. That's, I'm pretty sure one time in the studio you asked me and I was like, yes.
How do I answer? It's important Uhhuh, you know? Yeah. Very hard of myself. Mm-hmm. I need to hear it sometimes. Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Well, especially I'm doing okay and you're always like growing and expanding just based on who you are and what your business is. So like we kind of talked about earlier, once you get one thing done, it's like done and gone.
You're like, okay, next mountain. Like, yeah, that's right. It's this constant hiking. Um, well, one thing that I would love to know is what is it really like working with Jordan when she's not your sister and how has she impacted your life? You
know, that is a great question. I'm so excited to end on this, uh, Jordan.
It made me like little, and I know that I think this was for all the hosts that she works with, but Jordan made me like little Christmas cookies this year, you know? And also like affection, you know, I feel like both respect and affection. And I think that, I also think that I give that at work, you know?
And it's really nice to, like, I really love the vibe. I also, there's this coworker of Jordan's name Matt. Mm-hmm. And like, I really like Matt and have for a long time. And I also really love Sierra, who has like a very different personality than, you know, maybe Jordan is like very talkative and Matt is like super bubbly.
And then Sierra's kind of a little bit quiet and, um, anyway, I really think that team of people are so, they just make me feel good about myself, you know? Mm-hmm. Jordan makes me feel good about myself. Just, just, but as like a person. Yeah. Not like, as a, you know, not like, as a laughing head. Yeah. But, but, um.
You know, in this particular relationship, it's like when one person is the engineer, one person is like the host. I don't know who's the boss in that thing. Like I guess technically maybe you are the boss.
I'm the boss,
but you know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. Like, does that make any sense? It's like, it's not as clear as like mm-hmm.
You know, if you have to like report to me about things. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, it feels like a very nice environment of equality. That is what, that is what Jordan has brought to my life. She's a sweetheart. Thanks, Cameron. That's, yeah. I feel the same. So I remember making the cookies for you and writing the lovely note in the card and it was a very good note.
And just call it a love letter. It's okay. It's a love letter. Yeah. It was very nice. And you, I remember, um, your girlfriend, the first time I met her was like, she really liked the note that you wrote her. I was like, I did. I like really, really, it really meant a lot to me, you know? Yeah. Because I had like a very strange, uh, you know Yes.
Last 18 months. Yeah, yeah. Of going through a divorce and like having to go to work sometimes. And for the shows like queer is so, um, personally you have to like really show up and sometimes early on I like could not talk about the divorce at all. I was like so upset. Mm-hmm. And so then I would have to just be like essentially crying and then like going into the booth and trying to be a normal person that was listening to someone else and
Yeah.
You know, it really matters. We never know what somebody's gonna going through when they show up at work. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So it really matters how we treat each other. Jordan was very kind to me through all that.
Yeah, good. I'm proud of you, Jordan. Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
Well, oh, I forgot to scale. Well,
this is the one question, this is the one question we ask everyone.
Great. Let's hear. Okay. Um, what, okay. We ask everyone on The Powerful Ladies Podcast, where they put themselves on the powerful ladies scale, zero being average, everyday human, and 10 being the most extraordinary, powerful lady. Where do you put yourself today and where do you put yourself on average?
There's no wrong answer. Oh my gosh.
Here's the, here's the tr, here's the real answer, Uhhuh. Um, I have, I am, I have, I am somebody who sometimes I am so confident, sometimes I'm a full 10. I also have such serious self-doubt. Mm-hmm. And, you know, shame sometimes I'm a full zero and a half. So I just would like to say I am a, I am in the, I am in the oscillation, you know, I am, I am a, I am a pendulum.
And, um, what I hope always to get to by the end of the day is like a five, you know? But it's not how I usually start. It's like, it's like you are the best piece of shit. You know? Like, it's like that, you know, I'm always trying to just
mm-hmm.
E out. You're doing better than you think, you know?
Mm-hmm. You are, you are definitely doing better than you think.
Yeah. Yeah. Cameron, this has been amazing. I am so thankful that you were a yes. Um, I'm so thankful that you are so kind and generous to Jordan. Um, and I'm actually really surprised, like how, uh, much we have in common and that I wasn't expecting and my bookshelf is also arranged by color. Um, so no, I just think this is great.
Like I could literally talk to you for hours. So I hope that we get to have you on the show again, and anything that we can do to support what you're up to and what matters to you, I would love to be able to offer that. From the powerful eighties, you know, universe and back and yeah, just thank you so much.
It's a pleasure to speak with you both. Thank you, Duffies.
Thank you.
Yeah,
that's it. We're keeping Cameron. She is what a powerful lady is all about, carving her own path, leading with her heart and what matters to her. She's being intentional and so considerate with the work she does and the impact it's making. Plus she's hilarious and I love having great conversations like that.
Um, if you are also fanning out about how awesome Cameron is and you wanna support her and follow her and join in with all that she's doing, um, there's lots of actions that you can take. They're all listed@thepowerfulladies.com slash podcast. And of course, we recommend go by her book, follow her on Instagram, Twitter, and even TikTok at Cameron Esposito.
Thank you so much for listening. I hope you've enjoyed this episode of The Powerful Ladies Podcast. There are so many ways you can get involved and get supported with fellow powerful Ladies. First, subscribe to this podcast anywhere you listen to podcast. Give us a five star rating and leave a review on Apple Podcasts.
Follow us on Instagram at Powerful Ladies. Join the Powerful Ladies, thrive Collective. This is the place where powerful ladies connect, level up, and learn how to thrive in business and life. Be sure to subscribe to our YouTube page, and of course, visit our website, the powerful ladies.com. I'd like to thank our producer, composer, and audio engineer Jordan Duffy.
Without her, this wouldn't be possible. You can follow her on Instagram at Jordan K. Duffy. We'll be back next week with a brand new episode. Until then, I hope you're taking on being powerful in your life. Go be awesome and up to something you love.
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BUY CAMERON’S BOOK: Save Yourself
Instagram: @cameronesposito @queerycast
Twitter: @cameronesposito
YouTube: Cameron Esposito
Website: cameronesposito.com
TikTok: @cameronesposito
Podcast: Queery
Created and hosted by Kara Duffy
Audio Engineering & Editing by Jordan Duffy
Production by Amanda Kass
Graphic design by Anna Olinova
Music by Joakim Karud
