Episode 24: Building Community and Changing Hollywood | Jennifer Weg | Netflix & Soapbox LA

Women EmpowermentWomen in BusinessProducer

Jul 31

Jennifer Weg has built a career telling the stories that move audiences—first in creative advertising for film, now at Netflix, and always with a focus on championing women. She’s also the founder of Soapbox, a thriving LA-based community empowering women in entertainment, creative advertising, and marketing. What started as a small gathering has grown into a network of over 1,000 women making space for connection, advocacy, and real change. We talk about her path from Cornell to Netflix, the moments that shaped her leadership, and why she believes in only saying yes to what truly matters.

“Everything in my life i’m approaching from if it’s not a Hells Yes!, it’s a no. That goes across the board. That goes for work, that goes relationships, dating, nutritional choices, family obligation, dinners, or exercise.”

— Jennifer Weg

Encino
Corne ll
ACE M etrix
Core Po wer
Brent wood
Sher man Oaks
Par amount
Op en Road
S potlight
Nightcrawler
Ga ry Marshall
Mo ther’s Day the M ovie
Ne tflix
Last Chance U
Audr ie & Daisy
13th
Stranger Things
The Crown
Bl ack Mi rror
M udbound
Icarus
Sports Dop ing
Beas t o f No N ation
Roma
Bi rdbox
Bright
Sony P ictures
Walt D i sney Stu dios
Soapbox
The Wing
New York Times Harvey Weins tein Article
Hello Possi bilit y
Rad ical Cando r
Google
Pix ar
Life Alert
Emotiona l In tell igence
A labama Heart be at Bill
Bali
A ma lfi Coast
French Bulldog
A Return to Love
The Universe Has Your Back
You Are a Badass
Follow along using the Transcript
Chapters
00:00 From Encino to Cornell
02:15 Entering the entertainment industry during a recession
05:10 Early career in tech and market analytics
08:20 Yoga teacher training and finding balance
11:05 Breaking into creative advertising for film
14:30 Lessons from mentors and 18-hour workdays
17:55 Joining Netflix and shaping award campaigns
21:10 The Emmy wins and career highlights
24:35 Founding Soapbox LA before the Me Too movement
28:00 How Soapbox grew to over 1,000 members
31:15 Creating spaces for women in entertainment
34:40 The importance of curated conversations and events
38:25 Life with her French bulldog, Butter
40:50 Why “hell yes” is the only yes she’ll give
44:15 What’s next for Soapbox and Jennifer
If everything in my life I'm approaching from, if it's not a hell yes, it's a no. And that goes across the board, that goes work, that goes relationships, that goes dating, that goes nutritional choices, that goes family obligations, dinners, you know, exercise, the thing, the whole thing.
That's Jennifer Weg and this is The Powerful Ladies Podcast.
Hey guys, I'm your host, Kara Duffy, and this is The Powerful Ladies Podcast where I invite my favorite humans, the awesome, the up to something, and the extraordinary to come and share their story. I hope that you'll be left, entertained, inspired, and moved to take action towards living your most powerful life.
Jen Weg manages global creative marketing for film at Netflix. And is the founder of Soapbox, an organization committed to empowering, protecting, and promoting women in the entertainment, creative advertising and marketing industries. On this episode, Jen shares her story of building a career in the entertainment world.
What pushed her to create soapbox and the impact it's had in LA in a Post me too movement world, all that, and so much more coming up. But first, this episode is brought to you by Income School and they're Project 24. Project 24 is the course load that income school put together to teach you how to monetize your website to replace your income in two years or less.
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I mean, thank you so much for coming in. It's my pleasure. I'm so excited to be here. I'm really glad you're here. And I'm also really excited because you are one of the women that I have been introduced to through people I really respect that I've worked with. And actually you're, you were a recommendation from a powerful man that I've worked with love, and I love that there are so many men in my life who I'm including in all of my sharing about powerful ladies.
Which at first I was like, maybe I don't need to include them. And I'm like, Nope, everyone's getting this message. And there's been a lot more men than women that have actually recommended people connected the dots and have been like, repeat connectors. Mm-hmm. My friend Ian has now connected me to, I think four awesome women.
That's
incredible.
And he just keeps coming up with more and I'm like, keep 'em coming. Yes. I'm like, you're gonna be like the new member of the, of the team soon. I try. 'cause you're just doing all of my own PR for me.
I know. It is. It's something that, you know, I think in our, uh, strive to make change mm-hmm.
We are so often, uh, we lean towards being exclusive. Yeah. And you know, only leaning on each other, which has a time and a place. But it's very important and necessary, uh, to. Open our arms to our fellow man, uh, you know, and fellow advocate. Mm-hmm. And, uh, embrace them and educate them and, you know, and celebrate them.
Yeah. You know, the ones like, like you were saying, that, you know, can recognize greatness. Mm-hmm. Um, and, and strength and femininity and, and, um. You know, be able to connect to the dots. It's definitely something to celebrate for sure.
A hundred percent. And before we go any further, I'm gonna let you introduce yourself so people know who they're listening to.
My
goodness. Uh, my name is Jennifer Weg. Uh, most people call me Jen Weg. Um, in that, you know, in that way Jen Weg. And, um, I am 31 years old. I am from, uh, the Valley, from Encino, born and raised. And I went, uh, back east for college and then, uh, to Cornell. And then, uh. Pretty much right after moved back home, I could not handle the freezing cold.
And, um, you know, I, uh, graduated college in the, um, wonderful year of 2009, which, uh, was the worst time mm-hmm. To try and find a job or a career. And I, um, was not one of these people that was gifted with, uh, you know, a, a path and a purpose, uh, from, from, you know, coming outta the womb. Like many of the men in my family who are attorneys, that's always been their path.
Mm-hmm. And they're incredible at it. Um, but it took me a little bit of, it took me a little bit to figure out, um, sort of, uh, my place and my passions. And I always loved literature and I studied that in college. And then, you know, I moved home and, and, um. It was, it was rough, uh, to try and find a job and to, to have, you know, sort of been so goal oriented and success oriented and sort of milestone oriented my whole life.
Um, you know, I was, I was taught, and I still believe to a certain extent, but, you know, you work hard enough and you will yield the sort of, uh, some version of a desired result. And this just wasn't, it wasn't working. And, uh, so I, you know, I was, I was interviewing at a bunch of places, you know, both entertainment and, and arts and, um, you know, tech startup.
Uh, what was your degree in literature? That's English and Spanish. I, I double majored in English and Spanish. And, um, you know, by sort of luck of the draw and, uh, you know, a family friend who was a headhunter, I, um, ended up getting a job after about six to seven months of, of looking mm-hmm. You know, pretty aggressively at a tech startup.
That, um, you know, uh, specialized in advertising analytics. So it was, uh, sort of market research. Mm-hmm. Um, in brand advertising, so, and specifically TV commercials. So I was doing that as sort of their kind of catchall marketing associate. Mm-hmm. Uh, for about two and a half years. And during that time, I, you know, was young in my early twenties, um, living in Brentwood, uh, you know, uh.
Spending a lot of time with friends from home and also friends from college who had moved to la mm-hmm. You know, get into the agency life or work at the studio. And, you know, I've always been a, a huge movie buff and you know, it, I've always been the first person to see something and I've always, you know, been that person to go to the midnight showing.
And I'm, I'm, I'm obsessed with pop culture, admittedly. And, you know, I had this serious FOMO during that time when I, you know, I was happy to have a job and happy to, you know, be working and, and, and learning something that was new. But, you know, anytime I would, I would go to dinner or go out with my girlfriends or my friends that were in the entertainment space.
I, you know, I was like, Ugh, I wanna be part of that. So I should also say during the time of the two and a half years that I had the job at ACE Metrics, which um, is still around, and they're a great company, I, um, was living in Brentwood and then I ended up moving home because I had, you know, as we often do in our early twenties, a dramatic, uh, roommate situation.
And, um, during the time when I moved home up until the time, you know, that I ended up switching careers, I also, uh, did yoga teacher training. Mm-hmm. Um, I found that, you know, I had gotten to a place because my first job outta college was, I was super grateful and lucky to have a job, but it was a job.
Mm-hmm. It wasn't a passion. Yep. And I, you know. As, as much pride as I take in my work, there was a point at which I was on autopilot in a way, and I wasn't learning very much or interested in learning very much mm-hmm. Anymore. And I was living at home and saving money. So I decided to do teacher training.
'cause I had found yoga as sort of a part of a way of therapy in recovering from this dramatic roommate experience. And I found this community at this studio in Sherman Oaks, core power. They're a big, um, yep. You know, corporation nationwide. And I just was hanging out there all the time and making friends and building community.
And, um, you know, one of my favorite yoga teachers of all time, Jamilia, if you end up listening, I love you. Um, she's, uh, she's incredible. She approached me and said, you know, have you ever thought about teacher training? And I thought she was kidding. I was, you know, 'cause I am, to this day, not one of those yogis that can like pop into a handstand.
No problem. Um, or, you know. I don't hit every pose. I stumble all the time. I fall out of dancers, you know, I'm not perfect. Mm-hmm. And, you know, she really talked me out of that and I, you know, she's like, that's exactly why you should do it. And many people do it for many different reasons. Some people do it, you know, for vocational purposes to like, you know, help enhance their confidence with their acting or singing or standup careers or writing just to get the creative juices flowing.
Mm-hmm. Some people do it, obviously for the purpose of teaching yoga. Um, so I did it and I ended up, um, teaching at Core Power, uh, for, you know, the next few years on and off. Um, during the same time when I finished my teacher training. You know, as the universe often throws a, when it rains, it pours. Yeah.
You know, when it went both good and bad. And this was, you know, a period of serious transition in my life. 'cause I had, you know. As I said, really been drawn towards the entertainment space and I started just asking the questions of who do you know? What can I do? How do you feel? You know, my, 'cause I didn't wanna put the last two and a half years, uh, that I spent in advertising analytics.
You know, I didn't want that to be for absolutely nothing. Mm-hmm. So I was trying to figure out spaces and ways to build on that and, and utilize that in the entertainment landscape. Mm-hmm. So I, you know, through meetings and, you know, with family, friends and their friends and just sort of the connective tissue that is, um, you know, entertainment and certainly entertainment in LA and I should also say Jews in entertainment in la, um.
I was put in touch with a friend who was working in publicity at Paramount at the time, and she put my resume, um, in touch with HR and they reached out and I ended up getting a job, um, as an assistant in creative advertising. And for those of you that don't know, because admittedly when I accepted the job, I didn't really understand what that meant.
Um, that essentially, uh, you know, represents creative advertising, represents all of the marketing material you see that's telling you what a film or a TV show mm-hmm. Or a podcast or a series is about. Um, so, you know, when you hear often than more, more often than not regarding trailers specifically, it's like, oh, you know, either you hear one of two things, you know, the trailer showed me the whole movie, or the trailer, uh, was so different.
And then you go to, you go to buy the ticket, and then you're like, oh. That trailer sold me a bill of goods and I'm, you know. Yep. It's so different than what I expected. For those of us that are in my, in my business, that's the best thing because that means we did our trailer. We love hearing that. Um, so, and that, you know, that goes for trailers.
Anything sort of audio visual, you know, TV spots, anything online, um, digital, paid promotions, everything that you watch, billboards on, sunset, the whole thing. Mm-hmm. So that was 2012, um, and I started as an assistant and then, you know, throughout the next. Course of three years, you know, uh, soaked up all my knowledge that I possibly could.
I had a great first boss who is still over there and incredible, and, you know, a mentor of mine, and he was patient and, and instructive and, um, you know, and kind in, uh, teaching me as much as he could. And, um, you know, as it happens, I ended up, you know, getting promoted off his desk and then was put on a team.
Um, and, you know, it just wasn't as positive as an experience for me. Mm-hmm. Um, you know, it, it. And I'm sure there's fault on both sides, and I have many, you know, hindsight being 2020, I think it just, there were a lot of things that, that were working against all of us. Um, but so I ended up, you know, sort of putting the energy out there and talking to a few friends at other places.
And, um, one of those friends who used to be at Paramount left to be the head of creative advertising at a small studio called Open Road. And then she hired me and I, um, so I left and got a pretty, you know, big promotion in terms of title and certainly in, in terms of, uh, you know, raise. Mm-hmm. And, um. Was at Open Road for the next two-ish years, um, during which time, you know, they released great hits, like Night Crawler, um, mother's Day, but most, you know, sort of notably Spotlight.
Mm-hmm. And, you know, working on the, you know, both theatrical release and awards campaign for Spotlight and having it inevitably win. Um, you know, the, the, the Oscar for Best Picture was just like a feather in my career cap that I'll be able to, you know, sort of take with me always and taught me so much.
And, um, you know, I really, that time at Open Road, it was like, you know, I, I regarded as bootcamp and you know, in the best way in terms of my actually. Learning and, and doing the job because on the studio side, you know, if, if you're unfamiliar, it's, you can get stuck certainly at the bigger studios, um, you know, between the coordinator, manager, director.
Mm-hmm. You're, you're sort of the worker bee, but not the decision bee. Yeah. Um, and you know, at Open Road, just because of the nature of the company being so small and we were working on so many different movies at any given time, you know, I was able to. To be both, you know, to do the work and to make the decisions.
Mm-hmm. Um, obviously with a a, a collective team. Um, and, but the access that I had to, you know, not only the filmmakers and the creative team on that side, but also, you know, the other departments within the company, whether it was production or public relations or post-production or, you know, distribution, theatrical.
It just, it was a, it was a crash course in movie making. Mm-hmm. Um, and, you know, it was an incredible, and, and one of those times in my life that, that, you know, I, I will always love, but at the same time, I also was working, I probably, those two years, I worked 18 hour days for. Two years. Two years. Um, but I was, I was so excited to do the work and so, you know, the, the stressful moments, uh, you know, I would call my mom, you know, on my way home and, and, and she would say, you know, like, I know that you're tired and I know that you're stressed, but think of where you were six months ago when it was, you were the, had the opposite problem where, you know, you had all these, all this red tape and all these guardrails and your, your job was very small.
Mm-hmm. And, and even the job that you had, you felt like you couldn't do because you weren't set up for success. Yeah. Whereas here it was the exact opposite. Um, you know, it sort of was all, uh, at, at my fingertips at all times and, and being sort of the type a success oriented person that I was, that can be stressful.
Um, and then, you know, after Spotlight One, and then we worked on, um, I worked on Mother's Day, which was Gary Marshall of, you know, pretty Woman and, you know, Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve and all of those movies. Um. And obviously leave their own, like Yeah. The best ever. Um, it was his last film and, uh, Netflix reached out and, um, they, uh, recruited me to come work on documentary marketing, both film and series.
And, you know, coming from a small studio that I was at, which was, you know, 50 people on a good day mm-hmm. To what Netflix was three years ago, felt like going from, you know, a little village to the Starship Enterprise. Like, it just, it felt, it felt so massive and, you know, sort of new technology and new ways of thinking and their culture is this sort of techy intersection of tech and entertainment and, you know, it felt, it felt massive.
Mm-hmm. And it was, and you know. I, I went to just and do Dove right in, into working on our documentary film and series releases. You know, I worked on, um, you know, uh, things Ring Ranging from the first season of Last Chance U, which is an amazing series about I love that one. So good. Um, you know, uh, the football, uh, it's about a football, um, program in for the community college in Louisiana, I believe.
I think so. I can't even
remember. The, on my, uh, list for women I want on this podcast is the guidance counselor. Oh my God. Yeah. She's, I love
her such, she's just such a g Yeah. I just love her. Yeah. Um, and so inspiring. Mm-hmm. I, um, and then I worked on, you know, our dark, uh, a very, um, sort of controversial but emotional documentary called Audrey and Daisy about teen suicide, um, and bullying.
And then, um, most notably, I worked on Ava DuVernay's documentary 13th, uh, about the prison reform and the, the, you know, criminal, um, system in this country and how, uh, how just quite frankly, messed up it is. Yeah. Um, and, and I'm so grateful to have worked on that and to gotten the education from her directly that I got, and certainly from just watching the film.
Um, 'cause it informs how I think, uh, certainly of what's going on in this country today. Hmm. Um, and, and just, it, it. Approaches, um, criminalization and just how we think and, and our instincts, um, so beautifully. And, um, yeah, it's just, it's, if you haven't watched it, I, I def 10 outta 10 recommend. Um, she, it, it's, it was incredible.
And so I worked on that. And then, um, because of my experience working on 13th and certainly my experience from working on Spotlight, I then transitioned to working on our, all of our awards. Campaigns, um, you know, ranging from film to series to documentaries. Mm-hmm. And I did that for about a year. Um, you know, that, that Emmy season in the spring, which was, you know, stranger Thing Season one and the Crown Season one, and then Black Mirror ended up, um, winning and doing really well that, uh, Emmy.
In September, uh, for Sanjun App Perro, which is an incredible episode. If you haven't watched it.
Um, I've had to stop watching Black Mirror because I can't sleep. It's too dark.
Yeah, it's hard. Yeah, it's really hard. The, the band or snatch episode, which, you know, I watched and, and loved, but like at a certain point I just was going round and run in circles and I just, I had to turn it off.
No, no. Like, um, I can't, like, I love the idea, I love the mixing of the amorphism and futurism, like all this stuff together. Yeah. And like the, the B episode, I don't know the real name, sorry. It's where the, the, um, they used the artificial bees that were for pollination. Oh yes. They, now they control them to do bad things.
Yeah. Um, yeah, no, that's like playing
into.
It's right now like
a popular fear. Yeah. And also it's real life.
Yeah. And like, it's, it's not, it's not science fiction. No. Um, which I think is what, but I think that's what the
showrunners love like that, that they, that they sort of predicted and manifested so much of this darkness and they foresaw it.
Um, yeah. You know, is, is really powerful and I think why so many people love the show, um, 'cause it's worse
than, you know, I think the equivalent for my. Father's generation would've been, um, the Twilight Zone. Twilight Zone. But I think that, and it might just be generational. Like, I watch this Twilight Zone.
I'm like, some of 'em are, it's creepy, but Yeah. Yeah. They're so unrealistic. I know Black Mirror I watch and I have panic attacks and I can't sleep. And I hope the next generation feels
the same way about Black Mirror. 'cause that would be really great. Well then it means that we just go hard, hard left for now and just, yeah.
Leave all this craziness behind. That would be great.
I agree. 'cause then it, then it's like, oh, what a funny idea. Yeah. What a funny period in time. Yeah. Huh. Who thought humans were this manipulative? I don't know.
Yeah. Dark days. Um, so yeah, I, I was on our awards, uh, team and then, you know, worked on the campaigning for Mudbound and Icarus, um, and, you know, some of the other obviously documentaries and, and our, and some of our foreign films that got nominated that year.
Um, and Icarus also, you know, was a, was a. Incredible documentary about, about Russian doping and their, it's one of my favorites. It's so insane. Mm-hmm. The fact that, you know, you start one place and he, you know, even Brian, the filmmaker thought, never thought that's where, you know, yeah. It was very cat and mouse.
You know, he started on his own sort of very individual journey of just trying to, you know, sort of win this race. And Little did a cyclist. Yes, yes. Cyclist. And little did he know that he would be exposing and bringing down, you know, an empire essentially. And he's, you know, he and, and certainly Gregor the, um, the scientists that help him is still, I think on Putin's like top five kill list.
Hmm.
Like he's throwing darts at his face.
It, it, yes. That's, it's such a, the documentary is so good because it, it talks so much about, um, sports doping and the anti-doping laws. And it brings in all modern sports in Olympics. And, um, you can see in his face when he starts to un unreal unveil things that are bigger.
Yeah. Like it changes. 'cause in the beginning he's like, oh, this is just a funny, you know, this is something I'm
doing to my
body. Right. And I'm like, oh, I'm gonna be a personal experiment about, about, uh, doping. Yeah. And see if it really makes a difference in what happens. 'cause I'm not a professional witness test.
Nobody cares. Yeah. And then when it turns like it's crazy. Yeah. It's, I'm not gonna ruin it because I won't be able to see it.
Right. I love, you know. Whether it's a documentary or, you know, any sort of series or film. I love content like that where you start one place and then it just goes somewhere.
You're like, what? Um, so I did that for about a year and then, you know, our, our films initiative over, over the last, you know, five years, certainly since our first, uh, which was, you know, beast of No Nation has, has. Gone through many different iterations and, but certainly in the last two years, two and a half years, I would say it's taken significant shape, you know, with the successes of certainly started, you know, with Mudbound in the academy space, and then certainly Roma.
Mm-hmm. And then you have Bird Box and you have these, and then even Bright, you know? Yep. With Will Smith and Joel Edgerton. Like, you have these things and because of the power of Netflix and that it is a global, um, service and, and, and, and it's available to everyone everywhere versus some theatrical releases.
Even things like Avengers mm-hmm. Are certain, are sometimes windowed. You know, in the US it's not always there. The release is not always the same as in Germany or in Japan, or, you know, what have you. It really does, um, curate and, and, and globalize a conversation if something like a bird box really takes off, you just, you just know.
Yeah. Like, you just feel it. Um, and so, yeah, I'm, I've been working on, you know, our films for the last year and some, and it's, it's given, you know, where I was before Netflix, it feels like being back at home. Um, and, and, you know, it's, it's, my career has taken is in a nice symmetrical place right now. But, you know, with, with obviously, you know, I still got have goals and, and, and a five-year plan in mind.
Mm-hmm. But also trying not to be so married to it so that I can like. Ebb and flow as, as things come up and, and exciting things that I wouldn't have expected
like this. We had, um, I had a woman talking about how in January she's like, I don't wanna make new resolutions. Yeah. My life last year was awesome.
I just wanted to stay the same. That's in
credible. Oh man. I love that. Mm-hmm. I love that. That's, yeah. You know, I always, I, I find resolutions to be a great exercise mm-hmm. Just to sort of take stock Yeah. Of like, you know, what do I wanna bring with me, you know, similar to your friend of, uh, you know, what from last year worked and what am I sort of ready to just kick down the hill?
Yeah. Um, but, you know, I, I, I try to, try to do that more than once a year of like the taking stock and the, you know, sort of evaluating and, and you know. Picking the good things and leaving the bad, keeping the good things and leaving the bad.
I do too. And, and sometimes I wonder if I do it too frequently, like if I'm not giving myself enough time to produce results before I start being like, this worked, this didn't work, change this.
Like, I have to remember to calm down, especially with powerful ladies and how much it's changing and how young it still is. Yeah. I mean, it's officially four years old, but all these new parts are not like Yeah, they're, they're public to the world since March 1st. That's amazing. And I was talking to a friend of mine, I'm like, this is failing and this is failing.
And he's like, what are you talking about? Like nothing. You're, it's, it's been a matter of like 60 days. Yeah. Like just stop it.
Infancy. And then the, you know, sort of the biggest passion project or one of the bigger passion projects similar to, you know, how I fell into yoga, you know, when I was, was at Paramount after I, you know, left, uh, you know, the desk of, uh, you know, after I stopped being an assistant and I was sort of in that strange place, um, I, you know, during the time of my being an assistant, I had created this incredible close group of girlfriends mm-hmm.
Who are still like my girl gang to this day. Some of them, uh, one of them works at Netflix with me. I brought her over. Uh, and then, you know, some of us are at Sony, some of us are at Disney, some of us are on the agency side, and, you know, we are thick as thieves and I, you know. As I, as these friendships started to form, you know, right, right away.
Pretty much when I started at Paramount, I, you know, it, it almost, it almost, uh, it startled me a little because it was so authentic and so easy. Mm-hmm. And organic and, and, and, you know, and, and just loving. Yeah. Um, and genuine, and, you know. It, it gave me pause, quite frankly, and, and, and when I stopped and thought about it, I, you know, I looked at my parents who are still together and just the greatest people you'll ever meet and their closest friends as, as couples, but mostly, you know, are, are people that they met through either work mm-hmm.
Or. School sending my brother and me to school. Yep. So, you know, it made sense to me all of a sudden that like, of course, you know, the women that I'm finding these close relationships with are women that I'm meeting through work, because that's just, it immediately bonds you. Yeah. And certainly in the small field of entertainment and marketing, um, you know, which gets even smaller.
You know, when I meet somebody just on the street or at Whole Foods or whatever that is in my world, I immediately am like, ugh. Like I, I, I almost like, I wanna hug them and ex and I exhale at the same time where I'm just like, I'm relieved and I wanna love you and I wanna hug you, and I wanna talk to you and I wanna know everything.
'cause you just, you get it. Exactly. Yeah. So, you know, I, I, I just was, you know. Leaning on these women so much during that strange time. And I just, I wanted more of it. Mm-hmm. And I also wanted to like mass produce it in a way because I just, I felt like I had tapped into this secret well of, you know, female companionship.
And I just wanted to share it with everybody and shout it from the rooftops. Like, this is a thing. So, you know, I sent an email, uh, to every woman in the business I knew at the time, which was, you know, I don't know, 20 women. Yeah. And many of them are women that I had only worked with, you know, via email.
Mm-hmm. Or I'd only talked to on the phone because I was sort, you know, the lower. Tear on the totem pole as far as decision making. It wasn't in, I wasn't the one that they, you know, and I get it, it wasn't, yeah, I didn't take it personally, but like, they weren't reaching out to me to go to dinner or, you know, to have them over to talk creative.
Mm-hmm. I wasn't the decision maker. So, you know, I was the worker bee. So many of these women, I had been, you know, on, on phone calls with and conference calls and been emailing back and forth, but I had never met face to face. And I, um, I sent this note to every woman that I, every email, dress of a woman that I had, and I just sort of poured my heart out and I said, this is what I'm feeling.
I'm, I'm, I'm sensing a void in, in this community. And I'm, I'm, I need it. Mm-hmm. Um, I need it and I need you. And I, you know, I've been lucky enough to. Create and foster these amazing friendships with these women in, you know, in my field. And I just, I want to mass, mass produce it basically. Mm-hmm. I wanna, I wanna create a space where we all can celebrate each other, we can, you know, grow with each other.
We can lament together. It was never a, you know, damn, the man let's, you know, let's get around and make voodoo dolls and, and, and, you know, just complain. It was always like, talk, let's talk about a hard conversation or a hard situation you had today, because maybe I went through the same thing mm-hmm. A week ago and I can, maybe I don't have a solution, but I can tell you how I handled it and where I'm at now.
Yep.
And. You know, this was in 20 13, 20 14. Pre me too. Pre sort of everyone waking up to what it is to be a working woman in, in this day and age and in all, you know, in, in the modern world. And I, um, I said, you know, let's all go to this place, this bar, you know, this night and see what shows up. Mm-hmm. See what and who and how shows up.
And I immediately got a response back from almost every single woman on the email chain that said, yes, how can I help and hear seven names of women that I know would wanna come as well? Mm-hmm. So I just planned our first event and it was pretty much as casual as like. I, you know, called a bar and said, can I bring, you know, 35 women, which is what I thought round it would be.
Um, and it's just, it was just sort of meet and greet drinks. Yep. You know, cheese plate here and there. And, uh, it was in November and, you know, I think we had like 45 women show up, and it was the week it was the, I'll never forget, it was the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. So it was a time when like, people don't have time.
Yeah. They're either on their way out, on their way in, on their way to cook, on their way to whatever. And I was just, I was just astounded and baffled that people showed up. Mm-hmm. And it was then that, you know, I sort of realized, I was like, okay, this is something. And I, you know, I created soapbox, which is, uh, you know, our.
Coven name, I guess is what we call it. And our website is soapbox la.com if you wanna check us out. And it's essentially a network and organization for women in entertainment or content marketing. Mm-hmm. 'cause we've now sort of grown and are iterating constantly, um, as women need a, need a place. Yeah.
Need a place. Um, you know, and, and, and it's so great to see things like the Wang and, you know, all these sort of female driven minded, you know, uh, organizations pop up because clearly it's, it there's a void. Yeah. And there's a need for it. And, you know, I, it's, it's taken so much shape over the last five years, but it's certainly, um, started to feel more real and more necessary after, you know.
The New York Times article and the New Yorker article about Harvey Weinstein. Mm-hmm. Because so many women who are very active and have helped me, you know, shepherd Soapbox, as we grow and grow and grow, we now have, you know, over, I think it's 700 members on the soap, on the, that's crazy. Email distribution, obviously not everyone.
Mm-hmm. Comes every time we have an event. But you know, I think for about two years our average attendee number was, you know, I would say anywhere between 50 and 70, depending on the summer, depending on winter, depending on rain, whatever. Yep. And now, you know, the last like three or four events we've had consistently over a hundred people, which is.
Just blows my mind. Um, congratulations. Yeah, thank you. It's, it's, you know, there's, there's the business side of it that's like, we're trying to figure out how we become a nonprofit and how we fundraise. 'cause there's so many, um, just what feel like barriers, contradictory laws and barriers and, and, and sort of, and, and parameters that you have to work in.
It's like you can't, you know, fundraise if you're not a, a, you know, an approved nonprofit, but you're, if you, if you're not an approved nonprofit, like it, that costs money to file those as you. I'm sure you know so. Well, this is
great because I would love.
Or help if you
have. I started a nonprofit. Amazing.
Just to help people do that. Like we are literally, um, I had no idea. Oh my god. An umbrella group that great. Uh, we partner, you're under us. We're the 5 0 1 C. We collect your first fundraising, but we just manage, oh my God. The money and the coverage we need to office and then we prepare you so you can launch on your own.
Oh my God. Yeah. 'cause I had the same experience like I was sitting there. Um, it's so
frustrating. It's, and like, it's not that, you know, I, I wouldn't want to invest. 'cause for those of you that are trying to do this. At minimum. Mm-hmm. For the filing and the lawyer's fees, it's $5,000
and ish. And we, and we can teach you how to get it for way less too.
Oh my god,
yes. If you saw my eyes, they're bugging outta my head. That's amazing. Yeah. And I'm so That's incredible. Soapbox, ladies, we, we have a solution. I'm so excited. This is amazing.
But why is it so hard to do Good? It's crazy and I, I know. Why is it so hard to do Good. I know. It's because they believe that most people are gonna try and scam the system, which is so unfortunate because
I just don't wanna get sued.
Right. God forbid someone trips and falls. Right, right. Or, or, you know, the, the thing that is so incredible about the space and the, the community we've built is, you know, as I was saying it, it definitely. Became more just substantial. Mm-hmm. In, in, in our, certainly the people that show up, but in, just in, in, in what we need, what we are and what we are to people and to our members.
Yeah. After Harvey. Mm-hmm. And, you know, it's that it was then that, that it got, it got serious. Yeah. In a good way. Mm-hmm. In, in like, okay, we need to galvanize, like we need to, you know, channel this energy somehow, some way somewhere. Mm-hmm. So, and, and it was just by, by circumstance that, and serendipity, essentially that we had a soapbox event.
I, you know, the New York Times was Friday, the New Yorker was Tuesday. We had a soapbox that Wednesday, so it just happened that way. So, and, and it, it was also, you know, it was hosted by one of our creative agencies who, the space, they, the just it, the space. They, they must have sensed that we needed it.
'cause we all needed to sit down. But the space was, you know, sometimes it's, it's standing only. Mm-hmm. And it's like, you know, you, you kind of, it's like you're at a bar, but then this space was all couches and a lot of sitting and plush and just, and, and the lighting was low. And just, we, we had this sort of cathartic.
Circle of just telling our stories. Yeah. And, and, and, and whether they were directly related with Harvey, because many of the women came from Miramax and Weinstein in New York. Mm-hmm. Or have worked with him on the agency side and know, um, how, uh, intense mm-hmm. He was. And obviously inappropriate in a lot of ways.
Um, so it was, it was, it was giving them a space and, and a, a, an audience mm-hmm. To, um, react. Yeah. Very raw and a safe space. A safe space. Mm-hmm. And for us, you know, 'cause I think in a lot, so often with a lot of the hard things we've gone through, we're not always looking for, um. Advice. Yep. Sometimes we're just looking for acknowledgement.
Yep. That's all like, just like, I'm really sorry that happened to you. Yeah. Not like, well you have to do this and you have to go to this person. You have to go to HR and you have to, you have to write about this, or you have to mm-hmm. Something it's like, okay, I just wanna, I just wanna be able to, to hold space with my emotions.
Yeah. And, and, and feel, and just have someone say, I'm sorry or like, I, I hear you. Mm-hmm. I see you. That's terrible. You know? And so that was really what that, that soapbox was. And that was a turning point, I think. And, and
it must have been so emotional. Like, 'cause 'cause I know that, you know, being in the industry and, and having that happen over that weekend and, and it be the buzz that like is consumed by Shock the world.
Yes. And like, especially la Right? Oh my God. Like, it was so consuming and, um. To have your event pre-planned and to have people show up. And it's always like a moment of joy for you guys. Like it's fun. You're gonna get like, yeah. You get energized and go. And then to have it show up and it be, um, like what was it very emotional?
Was it energizing? Like what do you think women got out of that night?
I think it was, it was, 'cause that was just the beginning mm-hmm. In a lot of ways. And I think we all knew that and we all talked about that that night of like, you know, heads are gonna roll mm-hmm. As they should. And I do think it was, it was cathartic, um, and, and more energizing than, than anything else.
Yep. Um, and it was also really just inspiring. Um, you know, a few of the women shared some of their abuse experiences and how they survived. And one of the women was, um. You know, a runner, like basically below an assistant at an agency and was getting pretty terribly, you know, verbally and emotionally abused.
And she, um, she had a, a new job by Monday. Mm-hmm. Because of soapbox, because so many women rallied around her 'cause she didn't know what to do. Yeah. You know, she just moved here from out of state and she needed income and, you know, she felt trapped. Mm-hmm. And, um, just like she had to grin and bear it.
Mm-hmm. And she shared her story and was very authentic and, you know, the, the, the crowd of support that, that sort of swarmed on her after was, you know, we're gonna fix this. Yeah. We're not gonna fix the, you know, the abusive situation. And you, you know, that person may not come to justice just yet, but you, you will.
You give notice tomorrow and we will, we will figure this out. Yeah. And she had a new job by Monday and she's still there. That's amazing. So that's that stuff mm-hmm. Where you're like, okay, like this is, this is, this is necessary.
Well, it's, it's bigger than, than you, than the original idea, than the individual people.
Totally. It's
totally, it's so much bigger. Mm-hmm. And you know, when, up to now, you know, when we have events and we've, again, as that was sort of the, the, the starting point for the next phase mm-hmm. Of, of soapbox. Um, we now, you know, have panels, we have curated conversation. We, you know, that speak to all the different types of women in our membership.
Mm-hmm. And, and, and just what it is to be a woman in this business. Um, and you know, it, it, every time we have an event, which is, you know, every. Three months-ish. And, but you know, people always come up to me and say like, oh my God, thank you for this. I'm like, honestly, at this point I don't do very much.
And it's, it's, it's, I mean, like sure, okay. You know, I'll take some ownership of the fact that it was, it was my idea. Yeah. But it's so big, so much bigger than me. Mm-hmm. And the fact that, you know, we are, the success that we are is attributed to, I would say maybe 5% me and 95% the effort of all the women in that show up every time.
Mm-hmm. And certainly the women that have helped me, you know, figure out what we are and how we are and mm-hmm. And who we are. So that's, you know, become so much more of a passion project and, and, and just is so, uh, important to me and, and just lives. Inside my heart at all times because, you know, there are things, and I'm, and I'm guilty of it too, that I do every single day that I'm like, this is conditioning.
Yeah. Just the things I say in meetings to, to other women, to other men. The things I, you know, I think about myself and how I talk myself out of, you know, certain things. I, I, I feel, um, that I deserve both in the work space and just in my private life and, and, and in, you know, whether it's being, you know, making good choices for my health or making good choices, you know, in relationships and in my love life or with my family or with myrie.
You know, it's just, it's, it's, we are conditioned, um, to grinning and bearing it in a way. Mm-hmm. And, and, and, and, you know, being. Perfect at all times. Yeah. And you know, anything less than is unacceptable. And, you know, it's, I I'm trying to, to not be so hard on myself and understand that it's conditioning, but also at the same time, I, I need to, you know, make conscious decisions about, about, you know, the things I say, things I do.
And, you know, I'm trying to like practice what I, what I preach in a way. Um, 'cause it's hard. It's hard, but at the same time it's the, it, it's an incredible time, um, in, in our history, uh, to, to talk about stuff like this because it's never been, um. There's never been such a, a, a available vocabulary to talk about this, both with other women, but also with our, you know, with our fellow man.
Mm-hmm. Like we were talking about a little bit ago of, you know, really reaching across the table and, and you know, saying, you know, it's not okay for you to comment on the fact that I'm wearing eyeliner and heels today. And, you know, I understand that it was made in jest, but you have to understand that that sexualizes me and, and, and puts me in a, in a, in a place that's less than.
Mm-hmm. Um, it's not okay for you to mansplain. It's not okay for you to repeat the exact thing I just said five minutes ago and own it as your own idea. Um, it's not okay for you to interrupt me and, you know, it's, it, it's hard to not. Uh, to, to find those moments and have them be effective. Mm-hmm. Um, because depending on your audience, they will recoil and, and say you're emotional and say that you're, you know, you're just being a bitch.
Mm-hmm. Um, and that's fine, but you have to speak your, your piece. And, and it's, it's those teaching moments that I think are, are more, um, available to us now than they ever have been. And certainly at places like Netflix, you know, you, the, the sort of brilliant jerk, uh, persona is just not accepted mm-hmm.
In any way. Um, so we are always giving each other feedback both with the work and with how we do the work. Mm-hmm. And, um, you know, I, I'm super, super grateful to be at a place and a company that, that, um. Promotes and, and insists on human decency and, and the culture of feedback of, you know, like you've said it this way, 'cause it's all more often than not.
Both, both men and women. You say things and you, you know, you wanna assume good intent from the people that you know you're around and you want them to assume good in your good intent. Yeah. But sometimes the things you say come off wrong or just don't land Yeah. The way that you want them to, and you know, I want people to call me out on that.
Mm-hmm. Because I don't ever wanna make somebody feel less than, or marginalized, or more mod marginalized. I want everybody to feel happy all the time. And like they have, you know, they like, they feel acknowledged and seen and heard and respected. Um,
are you familiar with the book Radical Candor? Yes. Yeah.
We are a, we, it's, it's in our culture as well. We have, um, uh, a public culture deck that radical candor is, is, um, again, something, a tenant
mm-hmm.
And, and something that you are, you are expected to, to exercise and employ every day.
For everyone listening that isn't familiar with Radical Candor, it's an amazing book.
It's already on the Powerful Lady's website. But basically the philosophy is that you need to create trusting relationships where anyone can give feedback yes. To anyone, and also share any ideas. Yes. And it starts with leadership telling their staff and their team that they can judge them and give them feedback as well.
So judge is probably the wrong word, but feedback. Yeah. And critique. Yeah. And you as the leader creating the space to enable that to happen. Yeah,
and I mean, I think, I think there's a, uh, stigma, and we talk about this at Netflix quite a bit of like, you know, feedback equals, you know, critical and sometimes negative, uh, reaction.
It's bad. It's bad. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. There's, there's a stigma that that feedback is, is bad and you know, it's like. I say it all the time, I said it last night of like, you know, can I talk to you? Or, um, you know, uh, I have to talk to you. It's like those are the most, like, hated phrases in English language.
It's like, we have to talk. I'm just automatically assuming that I'm, I'm the worst person ever. Um, whereas, you know, the practice of giving and receiving feedback is just so constant. Mm-hmm. Um, that we, you know, we really try to. To make it both positive and, and yeah. And constructive. Um, you know, it should never come from a personal place.
It's like, my feedback is that you don't look good in blue. Like, that's not it. Yeah. It's always, you know, you really handled yourself well in that meeting. Mm-hmm. So, you know, to continue to do things like that. Um, or, you know, maybe the next time you present in a big room, you know, try practicing before 'cause you, you know, skipped over your words a few times.
Yeah. Things like that. That it's, the intention is for it to help you grow and help you improve it's coaching. Totally. Mm-hmm. And, and, you know, no one is, no one is ever fully formed in this life. And, um, we are all often encouraged to give feedback to our leaders as well, which is awesome. So it's, it really is very, um, singular in that it lives, Netflix lives within this place of tech, entertainment, and like.
Human betterment in this way. Mm-hmm. Um, 'cause it's also, it's hard, it's really hard to, to go from a place, very corporate, um, you know, or any place that's not Netflix and come in and, and you're sort of, it's this strange combination of feeling exposed, but also protected in a way where you, you know, are assuming good intent and, and assume that those giving you feedback, whether it's positive or constructive, um, want to help you grow.
Mm-hmm. So, but you are also, um, open yourself up all of the time to feedback. So you're, you're, you're constantly exposed, but in a way that, that makes you better. I can't think of an analogy,
but I think it's, I think it's hard. It's like a flower
exposed to the sunlight. You bloom.
Yeah. But, and, and a lot of the companies that are defining.
Today, um, Google, Pixar, um, Netflix. Yeah. The, the big names that we all know, um, know that they can't move forward and can't keep up in a competitive environment if they don't create a safe space for people to take risks and have ideas. Yeah. And whether it's a, a, a risky, you know, technical direction, um, or if it's a risky, you know, new show or movie.
Like if you're not willing to be vulnerable and try it, someone else is going to and that's how they're gonna be you.
Hundred percent. A hundred percent. And that's, that's one of those things like that I was referencing of, of, you know, I'm just as guilty of, of sort of talking myself down in a way. 'cause I have these ideas like soapbox, like, you know, my most recent one.
Nobody steal it, but I really wanna go to Life Alert and tell them that they need to make and start marketing to single women Yeah. Who are young and live alone. 'cause I worry about slipping in the shower tank. It's the Sex and the City episode. Yes. Yes. Where she falls and, and it's also most recently, uh, she's not alone, but in wine country, Rachel Drer's character throws her back out overnight and she has to sleep in their bathroom.
Like, come on, it's falling. Is is not, you know, age exclusive. No. But anyway, that's, and I, I wanna like do it with like a fun twist somehow, whether it's. With like a, you know, cannabis company or Yeah. You know, through like glam squad or dry bar or something. Yeah. It's like, you know, get a blowout and a life alert.
Um, but
I'm now imagining going to your next event and everyone in the audience, oh my God, has a life. That would be my dream because
I just, I, like, I have a dog who is the light of my life, but what's she gonna do if I fall in the bath? Like, you know, you haven't trained
her to like glassy yet. Oh my God.
Mm-hmm. That's not, I, yeah. I wish. Um, so I don't come from the entertainment world at all. Yes, right. Every, my whole background is products and apparel and footwear and the sports world, but, and so in, I've had quite a few women on, and we've talked about just physically
masculine, if not even more so.
It is, but I don't know.
Um, we, everyone I've talked to and my, and my personal experiences have been. A lot of it's very equal. And I don't know if a lot of that comes from, um, you know, women in sports isn't a new concept. Sure. And you know, when you're working in a sports world, like it's all about the performance and like who can do it.
Yeah.
And I've been really lucky where I, there the sexism that I've experienced or the harassment or any of that. Like I, it's three situations that were so minor and not a big deal. And every time it happened, like other men stepped in to like be like, no. Wow. And so I feel really lucky and a lot of the women that have been in, in my industry have kind of said the same thing like.
They're equally as surprised as, um, men who had no idea when the Harvey Weinstein thing came out, like how prevalent it was in the entertainment world. And so, like, I'm just curious, like how bad was it? Like, was it super common? Like everyone has a story and like everyone had a situation? Like, I'm, I'm, I guess for me it's like I can't tell being far removed.
Like how bad was it? It's, and is it now?
I mean, I don't, I wouldn't go so far I should say. I don't know. Mm-hmm. There, but from what I can tell, I wouldn't say that everyone has a story, but I would say every third person has a story. Mm-hmm. Every third woman has a story. Um, and it's also, I should, you know, the way that I have internalized the me too movement and everything that we are talking about, it's not necessarily, um.
Just abuse against women. Mm-hmm. It's abuse in general. Yep. And I certainly that then when we open it up to abuse in general, that's everybody, honestly. Mm-hmm. Because at every one of these big companies, it's the culture of, you know, hazing in the way of like, well it was done to me, so, you know, I'm gonna, you know, call you at all hours and I'm gonna, you know, yell at you and throw phones at you and I'm gonna have you do insane errands for me.
Yeah. Um, buried Devil Wars Prada. 100%. Yeah. And you know, that's not, they don't write unless that is written in your job description and you sign on the dotted line saying, cool, I'm good with this. It's abuse. Mm-hmm. It's emotional abuse. It's, it's an abuse of power. Um, and, you know, it's this, it's this toxic notion that in order to move forward you have to suffer.
Mm-hmm. And that is certainly, um, ubiquitous. Yeah. I would say. And not exclusive to entertainment in a lot of ways. Mm-hmm. I know, you know, certainly medicine, law, um, tech. Yeah. I can only imagine. And, you know, other corporations, um, you know, sort of are, are built on those that, that toxic foundation. Um, but certainly for a lot of the women that I know, and I'll speak for myself as well, I have experienced, you know, uh.
Extreme, nothing physical but extreme, um, uh, inappropriateness. Mm-hmm. Um, with regard to comments about, about my appearance, uh, comments about, about, you know, my, my dating life mm-hmm. Comments about, um, my eating habits. Like it's, it's, you know, my choices. Yeah. Like things that, that are, are nobody, I have not given you permission to comment, so you should not feel at all a place mm-hmm.
Of, of, of, you know that you have any Right. Yeah. To do so, um, you know, and that I'm certainly not alone in mm-hmm. And, and that I think is, is also ubiquitous and, and more prevalent in that people just, there, there's this, there's this. Assumption that you can be super inappropriate and, and casual, um, you know, and, and have no boundary.
Mm-hmm. Uh, with, with the people that certainly work below you and the people you work around. Um, and, you know, I should say, like I, I make, I try to be super conscious and super respectful. Certainly, you know, at, at Netflix we don't have offices. It's all creative space. Mm-hmm. So you're, you just never know who's listening.
Even if you're talking about something as harmful or as harmless or, I think it's harmless as like, you know, when you say like, oh my God, or, or you're talking about religion, or you're talking about, you just never know who's listening, um, and who, who, who might be sensitive mm-hmm. Um, to what you're talking about.
But you know, the, the. The abuse of power and, and the, certainly the God complex that I think Harvey and so many men that have since, you know, been, you know, brought to their truth mm-hmm. Um, with their behavior. It's sick. Um, and, but honestly, it's, it's, they, they were on a pedestal of our making. Mm-hmm. Um, and, you know, I, I hope that, that Harvey will never have his, um, another moment in the sun.
But, you know, I look at people like Mel Gibson, who has been, you know, embraced back into the limelight and, and, you know, he's getting jobs and he's, you know, having a great time. Mm-hmm. And you know, not what you know, first of all. I have my own personal, you know, beliefs about how his anti-Semitic, um, tendencies, but yeah, you know, his, his ranting at a female police officer, um, was what, nine years ago?
10 years ago. And like, someone that, that has that so quick at their, you know, at the ready. Mm-hmm. You know, I don't, I don't think that, that somebody like that can really change their, their belief system, um, without there being some big
transformation.
Yeah. Mm-hmm. And, you know, I don't know him personally Yeah.
At all. Like, so, you know, perhaps he has, but it's just, it's, I worry. Uh, and I think it's, it's, it's, we are the same society that elected our president. Mm-hmm. And, you know, on, fortunately for those of us that live in, you know, on the coast, I think, uh, you know, we. California is a democratic state. I am not at, you know, I'm not in imminent fear of my reproductive rights.
Right. Being, um, you know, called into legislation. Yeah. Um, but I didn't think that Alabama or Georgia would do that either in my lifetime. So it's just, it's, I could go on, it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard thing to, uh, wrap my brain around because this, this building of these gods
mm-hmm.
And these, these, this, this sort of celebration Yep.
Of this persona, um, you know, and, and, and the like, strange, uh, tendency to be secretive about it. Mm-hmm. And how, you know, everyone's saying, well, we all knew. So how, how everyone's guilty. Where did that show up? Um, outside of my knowing that he screamed at his assistant and throwed phones and, and you know, but I didn't know that he was a sexual miscreant,
a drama queen is different than, to your point, a sexual miscreant because they're two, it's, it's two different levels of abuse.
Yeah. Yeah.
But at the same time, all of that behavior has been called into question. Mm-hmm. And I think, you know, you often hear in the, in the context of the conversation of Me too. And, and, and you know, the reason I said, and I, you know, I want, I wanted to ask you if the three men in the instances that you were advocated for, did they.
Do they know that you feel so grateful to them? Because I want, I, yeah. Amazing. Because it's important for men like that to know that we see you, we love you. Mm-hmm. Continue, please.
Yeah. I, I feel really lucky. Um, most of my life, I'd say I've had more male friends than female. Interesting. And I don't know if it was my interest, the industry I was in, um, but I've always been really lucky to have amazing male friends.
And one was excessive and the other two weren't. And it was one of those weird situations where like all of us looked at each other, 'cause it was occurring around a table when it started a, uh, like an after work dinner. Mm-hmm. And everyone looked at me like, wait, what? Are you seeing what I'm seeing? Like, did, what did they just say?
Yeah. And like, we, we were so caught off guard and like everyone's kind of talking laughing at fun that we were like maybe. Were we just hallucinating? Okay. Like you just kinda keep on going. And it happened again. And it got to the point where it was somebody who was in a position of power Sure. That didn't work for a company.
And it was a delicate balance of we have like, there's a, but you were in
business, quote unquote, with this persons, so you didn't wanna,
it's a business dinner. Put that at risk. We're trying to close this deal, like what do we do? Yep. And everyone, like one, like I'm capable of taking care of myself as well.
Right. Of course. So like, I saw it happen, so I'm like, all right, I'm gonna get up, I'm gonna switch seats, I'm gonna move around. I'm just gonna like, remove myself as best I can. Like Right.
Which is what, you know, therapy and, and sometimes, yeah. That's the best. Like, that's what we're told to do. Mm-hmm. Is like, remove yourself from, from the dramatic situation.
And I would say maybe seven times outta 10, that is the right thing to do. Yeah. Because there's only so many times you can butt your head up against the wall for you to be like, I'm not gonna get anywhere. This isn't worth my energy. Yeah. But those three times, those three outta 10 times, you need to be like, no.
Yeah. And, and it, and it escalated. Like I figured, oh, if I just move seats and I'm not in access of having this conversation, like it would be okay. And then it kept like happening and it was like done in a way that was like, oh, we're just, it's just a joke. No big deal. No. And the guys around me were like, no.
Like that's, it's not okay. And he'd stopped for a while and he was also really drunk, this guy, of course. And we went out to another place later and he was getting more aggressive and the guy's like. Just like pulled 'em aside and they were like, I first said this is not happening. And then they came over and they're like, you're going home.
Is that a line? And they all stepped in. It was like, I never felt I was at risk. Yeah. I never, I just thought, did
you ever get an apology?
No.
Yeah.
And I don't, I I never expected one. No. But I mean, it always, it's, it's, it's a nice to have. It's not a need to have it, it would change in those instances had he, had I gotten an apology, um, it would have changed how I view him today.
Yeah, of course. Um, because I do understand that people don't always know what they're creating. And I do understand that people's perspectives are different. Yes. And drinking is like, never is a place of reality. No. Right. So next day sober, if you wanna apologize and I see you again and this doesn't happen again, fine.
I'll, I'll chop it up too. That was a drunk, bad day for you. Sure. It's okay. Like I have other things to worry about. Human
me. Yeah.
Um. And it Yeah. Like there, I forget it even happened until people are like, this ever happened to, you have to like go into the file cabinet. Yeah. Like what's happened. Totally.
Um, yeah. But I think
that's something that we tell ourselves because so much happens to us also. Like we, we are desensitized to it in a way because every day there's a comment and every day there's a glance and every day there's a breast of the shoulder. And every day there's a, you know, under cutting Yep.
Of some kind that we, when things really happen, we're like, well, it wasn't that bad, but then you're like, wait, that was crazy. They all add up. That was kind of bad. It's death by a
thousand paper cuts
after a while. Percent. A hundred percent. And it's, you know. I just think we have to be mindful of that.
'cause that did happen and it's not okay.
Yeah. And I, and I got that. Yeah. And thank you for acknowledging that. Yeah. I mean, I think I'm proud of the fact that, um, one of the biggest issues I've dealt with as a woman in business is just the, is the being interrupted. And I'm proud that I've had other people, male and female, be like, I'm really glad that you handled that meeting.
And I'm like, thanks. Yeah. Because like it's um, it's just not like that's the most annoying part. Yeah. And it's not, this happens, it is not a male gender issue. No. The interrupting thing is not, it's whoever is the biggest asshole in the room. Like that's all it is. Yep. It doesn't matter what gender you are.
Nope. Um, sometimes it happens 'cause you're so excited and you're getting caught up. I'm not mad about those situations. No. I'm mad about the ones that Are you deliberate? Yeah. Deliberate. Like ignore that person. Mm. It's so frustrating. And there was a guy I worked with who was notorious for this, and it, it was everybody.
Everybody. I'm like, how
do you, like, at least he was an equal, equal opportunist. Interrupter. Definitely an equal opportunist.
Yeah.
To anybody I should say. But, you know, like I've a few times in my life, you know, gotten screamed at by men who are, you know, by any man. 'cause I, my, you know, my dad and my brother don't scream at me, but you know, that don't know me.
Mm-hmm. Whether it's in the parking lot or, you know, because I took a space, God forbid, or, you know, at, at nightclubs. I'm sure someone has screamed at me sometimes. And my, my instinct is like, does that, do you feel good? Mm-hmm. Screaming at a woman like that. Is that, is that who you wanna be? And the second you like, hold a mirror up to someone, they're like, well, I don't know.
Whatever. Yeah. But like. If you meet them with anger, then it's just like fire on gas. But,
and that's another thing I feel is, um, genderless in its approach. Like, I never understand why anyone feels the need like that their day is gonna get better by Right. Like,
or being angry. Angry.
It, it's,
I don't get it.
I mean, you know, I have to have sympathy that not everybody has, you know, a deep love affair with yoga and like humanity, body work. Right. That I do. And I, you know, I feel so grateful and, you know, when, and if I ever, you know, am president or queen of the world or whatever, and I have an ability to legislate, uh, education reform, teaching meditation and yoga.
Yeah. Just like you teach, you know, physical education, um, because arming anybody but children, especially from a young age, if you ingrain it in that all you need to do is just take a deep breath, just mm-hmm. Pause, remove yourself if you need to. That is, that is your tool. Mm-hmm. That is just as effective as your fist.
Mm-hmm. Is a deep breath. Mm-hmm. And, you know, contextualizing it with problem solving for children, I think is so, and just, and men who are the same, um, you know, is so important. Mm-hmm. And human beings, like, just, all you need to do sometimes is take a deep breath, step away. Yeah. Collect yourself, don't react, observe.
Mm-hmm. And, you know. Yeah. That's like one of the few, one of the many things I would do if I was queen of the world.
Well, and it's working like the places
that I know, it's amazing. The sta the statistics speak for themselves and it's like, you know, and it, it goes right into the conversation about, you know, mental health in this country.
It's like, you know, we as women go to the gynecologist once a month, once a year mm-hmm. Uh, just to make sure everything's good. Why is it still so, um, you know, frowned upon or has such a negative stigma to go to a therapist.
Mm-hmm.
Just to talk about yourself. You're getting a brain checkup.
Yeah.
And a heart checkup.
Well, and um, I don't know if you've read the book, emotional Intelligence.
I, um, it's, or familiar with it. I have it, but I, it's one of those, those books I've been staring at and I just. Hope that the whole contents will as most sizing to my brain.
It's, it's, it's quite good. Yeah. Um, but it's the emotional intelligence, um, meditation, your personal finances and knowing how to create something from nothing, to me are probably like the top things.
We are not teaching in school.
Yep.
And like, I don't, I don't, I get confused sometimes. Home
finances. That's such a good point.
It's one of my like, biggest passions, but like, there are areas that I cannot wait to get involved in and tackle and education reform is one of them. So we can tag team that. I'm happy to do that.
Woo. Um, I grew up going to all public schools and then I went to a private university for college and grad school, and it was only private because it, you know, costs more money, right? Mm-hmm. It wasn't, but. There's so many. Having gone to like really small schools, really big schools, there's so many things that we are leaving off the table and preparing people to be for life humans that I don't understand how, like what do we as a nation want to be producing?
Yes. What kind of person, what kind of American,
what do we want Americans to look like? Mm-hmm. How do we want them to behave? Mm-hmm. How do we want them to, you know, the choices we want them to make. Yeah. The choices we want afforded to them. It's, I mean, yeah, I'm learning Latin in seventh grade was cool, but like, do I remember any of it?
What I love, what I have loved to, you know, learn what, and I still don't really understand health insurance. Yeah. My dad has had to explain to me, 'cause he's a, he's a, an attorney, but he handles bankruptcy. Mm-hmm. Chapter 11. So he's always been super, you know, instructive. Sometimes more forcibly than I would like about money.
Um, and, you know, I didn't have a proper credit card until I was 25. Mm-hmm. Because my whole life it was, you do not spend money, you do not have. Yep. And then I went to go get an apartment and they were like, you, your credit score is 900 like that. It's weird. It's fishy. Are you a Russian like robot? Yes.
I'm You're welcome. I was like, what? So they made my, they in insisted I open a credit card and I basically bought all my furniture for that apartment and opened a line of credit mm-hmm. Because I never had one before. Mm-hmm. And, you know, it's, it's that, it's things like that. And now I, I'm like, credit cards.
Woo. It's great. Um, but, you know, it it's things like that that like should be mass taught Yeah. And, and or what a 401k is and why it's important. Mm-hmm. And why, why you make. You know, check the boxes that you do and, and, and what they mean and what, you know, the trickle down.
We're not good at teaching our own citizens how to fill out any forms that come out of, no, any government office is God no.
Crazy. No. And I think too, like we don't talk enough publicly about how, um, the values that our current culture tells people actually matter to us. Like, living in Europe was one of my, my greatest experiences and. What I really took away from it was because everyone got the same amount of vacation time.
Mm-hmm. Or personal time, regardless if they were a CEO or picking up trash. Yes. It made a statement that your personal time matters. Yes. And when people think that their personal time matters, their view of themself changes. A hundred percent. If we say everyone does, should have access to healthcare, it means that your health matters to us.
Yes. And it's not about insurance, it's about the healthcare. Like they're two different things. Ah, yes. Like, I don't know why we keep trying to go in a circle about providing insurance. Like we don't need insurance. If we have the right healthcare. It's makes me crazy. It's a crazy
s trickle down cycle mm-hmm.
Of, of, you know, these and it's, it's, you know, never more evident by the men that, you know, passed the heartbeat bill in Alabama. Yeah. And in Georgia, or the abortion ban. Mm-hmm. Um, you know, they're all. White men mm-hmm. Who've never had a period in their life. Mm-hmm. Don't know what it is to have a uterus and ovaries and fallopian tubes, don't know what it is to be pregnant.
Mm-hmm. Um, don't know what it is to be assaulted. Um, you know, it, it's, it's the, I agree with you that, and I've spent enough time overseas, you know, as well, that, that you just feel it's in the air. Mm-hmm. It's, it's infectious of, you know, you can get, you can get to it tomorrow. You don't have to work yourself Yeah.
Into an ulcer. Um, or you don't have to work yourself through the night that you miss dinner with your family. Um, you know, and, and it's, some would say it's a, a sign of weakness that you don't work, you know, 24 7 and that you put your phone down and that you have boundaries. Um, and you know, the. The vacation thing is, is again, something I'm so grateful to Netflix.
We have, you know, uh, an unlimited vacation policy offered to everyone. Mm-hmm. To your point of assistant to CEO and, you know, it's, it's, it's under the, you know, assumption that you don't abuse it. Mm-hmm. It's not like, oh, bye, I am gonna take 12 months off. Um, but if you've been there and you know, for any given time and you feel that that's what you need and you talk to your manager about it, and you work through it, maybe that's what you need.
Mm-hmm. Um, and you know, those resources and those conversations are, are, are available. Um, and certainly, you know, for me it being in a creative field, it's, I need to seek. Otherness. Yeah. I need to, to, to go places and see things and eat things and talk to people that are different than my day to day because how am, you know, I, I say all the time, like I never knew what the color green really was supposed to look like until I went to Bali.
Mm-hmm. And I never knew what blue, true blue looked like until I went to the, you know, the Amalfi Coast Yep. In Italy. Mm-hmm. And now I know what that is, and it's, you know, it, it, it, like, you know, makes my heart skip. Mm-hmm. Just thinking about those memories and. I am so grateful to, to, you know, live a life that affords me the ability to go to those places.
Um, you know, 'cause I know a lot of other people living in this country will never get to see it because they'll never get time off,
never get time off, never, um, be
able to save money, never be educated enough to save the money in a way that will allow them to go places because they're, you know, they don't have the tools.
How do I put money in a savings account? Mm-hmm. How do I open a savings account? Yeah. What, how much money should I go into it? To your point of, of arming people with actual, functional, you know, ability to live.
Mm-hmm.
It's, you know,
well, they say the, um, you know, looking at our government, whether it's state or federal, they say like, where your money is, so is your heart.
And if we look at how the budgets are broken out. I don't think most Americans would agree that like how we're spending all of our hard earned money is in the places that we would wanna put it. Yeah. Because I think that at the, when you talk to people, no matter where they are on, um, in their political, um, identities, at the end of the day, we actually all care about the same things.
Yes. We wanna be able to take care of our kids, we wanna be able to take care of our parents. Life, liberty, pursuit of happiness,
that's what it is to be American. Yes. And that's what we forget in this, in this mishegoss of, of, you know, corporation and, and corruption and financial institution and, you know.
Bill writing and legislation and checks and balances. It's just like strip all that away. Mm-hmm. And life liberty pursuit of happiness.
Yeah.
Like, like
you were talking about tea, having yoga and meditation in schools. Yeah. Like the stress levels of people who don't know if they can eat or go to the doctor or they'll have money to retire, or if they can put their kids in daycare or take care of their parents when they can take care of themselves.
It's a different level of stress than we actually need to feel as such an advanced country. Yeah. It's embarrassing that, that we aren't, um, there's so many easy cost-effective structures that can just take the stress level down and then imagine what could happen.
I know
it's, I know it and it makes me laugh when they're like Germany and Canada.
They don't know what they're doing and I'm like. Um, pretty sure they do. Yeah. And or even like in the US saying that about California. Like what the fifth, leave us alone. Fifth largest economy in the world. Its likes, like, I don't remember the exact number, but I think it's something crazy, like $12 million in excess we have right now because of legalizing marijuana.
Mm-hmm.
I don't know, like I'm happy to legalize whatever we want to. Yeah. If it means that we have money to put in places that really we care about a hundred percent. Because again, like you can do whatever you want. Yeah. Like, I'm not your mom. Yeah.
Because people think, you know, legalizing make, makes it a free for all, but it legalizing it means it can be taxed, which means to your point, money back into the government.
Yeah. And can be subsidized and, and deputized in ways that we want it to be. Mm-hmm. Because that's what it is to be in a democracy. It's just so frustrating.
It is. Yeah. Um, I would love to get back to you and what you're up to. Yes. Um, so you work a high power job. Sure. There's definitely stress. Yes. Um, there's always deadlines and pressures.
Always. What are you putting in place so that you can show up your best as often as possible? Because I know every day is like not reality. Oh my gosh.
Um. Number one, my dog. Mm-hmm. Getting a dog. Um, I have a French bulldog named Butter, and she is, shoot everything you can link a picture to, to in the show notes, but she is just the most delicious.
Oh, she is? Yeah. Hi Butter. My little sweet girl. Um, you know, it took me a long time. You know, I've been thinking about getting a dog forever and, you know, I, my therapist even told me that it would be a great boundary setter even, you know, in addition to therapy. Mm-hmm. Which everybody should go to therapy.
It's the best thing ever. And, um, but it just, it didn't feel like the right time. I was living, I was renting an apartment, a, you know, big for one person, but small. Um, you know, I was working those crazy hours. Mm-hmm. And, you know, it wasn't until, uh, this past summer that I was like, okay, I'm 31. I'm gonna like, I'm gonna do it.
I, you know, I bought my, I bought my condo, uh, last year and, you know, it's dog friendly. I have much more space now. I have a balcony. It's, you know, it's the, the thing, the place, the pieces are coming together. And the great thing about Netflix is, you know, they, they encourage, um, because again, I don't have an office, so it's not like someone's walking by my office and being like, well, she's not here.
Um, you know, they encourage us to, to exercise freedom and responsibility. And part of that is, you know, if I don't have any meetings until noon, like, you know, I'm on email more or less within the first 20 minutes of my waking up in the morning, which is early. Mm-hmm. But I don't necessarily need to be physically in the office.
I can get my work done no matter where I am. Mm-hmm. And, and the genesis of that is that we are a global company and not everybody is in the same office anyway.
Or or time zone.
Or time zone.
Mm-hmm. Yes.
That's, you know, one of the, the. Greatest both assets and challenges mm-hmm. For a global company is that you have so many different perspectives and, you know, informed decision makers, you know, from all different walks of life.
Mm-hmm. Both, you know, physically their location and just their background and their culture. Um, but, you know, working with people in, in, in Japan and in, you know, Italy at the same time is, it can sometimes be challenging no matter who you are and where you are. Yep. Um, so I had been at Netflix for over two years, I guess in September.
And, um, you know, I. Don't intend on going anywhere anytime soon. I'm very happy there. And you know, I, I was sort of taking stock of my schedule and, and, and, you know, I also really wanted to slow down. Um, you know, I, I, I've never been like much of a huge partier mm-hmm. Of going out a lot. And, and, but I was definitely like traveling a lot, um, for work, which again, is a gift and incredible that I, you know, can go and see the world, um, you know, via my job.
But, you know, I, I was going out to dinners a lot and drinking a lot of wine. I just, you know, and I, I was sleeping in and I just, I felt like I was just, um. My therapist gave me this phrase, and sometimes it resonates and sometimes it doesn't. But I felt like I was being lived
Yeah.
Not living. Mm-hmm. Like, I felt like an, uh, like a passive passenger.
Mm-hmm. Um, and, you know, I talked to my sister-in-law who is also a huge dog lover, and she helped me, you know, she's been pro my, getting a dog for the longest time. Um, my parents were less, uh, enthused about the idea just because of my schedule. Mm-hmm. And they just were worried that, you know, the dog would be home, home alone a lot, or I, you know, or I think most selfishly they were just worried that I would give, like, be like, oh, it's too overwhelming, you take the dog.
Um, which, you know, they're, they're entitled to feel that way. And I, uh, my sister-in-law helped me find this woman that had, um, you know, had French bulldogs, uh, in the valley. Also from Encino, um, five minutes from where I grew up, which is hilarious. And I went and met her, met Butter, um, who was born Bella, which is hilarious.
Um, and I met her, she was six weeks old. And I put her, I put her, you know, right on my chest and I just said, you know, I looked at her and I said, butter, is that you? 'cause I knew I wanted to name my dog butter. And I said, are you, are you my daughter? Are you butter? Is that you? And she licked my nose and I said, okay, where do I sign?
What do I do? So I took her home a week later. And, you know, it's been the greatest, you know, not seven months. Um, you know, and I still, I still have traveled, uh, for work and, you know, squeezed in some time for myself. Mm-hmm. But if, you know, I go anywhere that is, you know, dog friendly, she comes, she comes with me.
Um, and you know, we've gone on a bunch of road trips. She, she's been to Ojai, she's been to Palm Springs. She's been to Palm. Like, she goes everywhere and it just, nothing, um. Gets you out of your own head, like, like being responsible for something else. Mm-hmm. Um, another living thing and, you know, the, the, the, um, rituals that we have every day and, and her schedule.
And just like, you know, I wake up and the first thing I think about is, is feeding her. Mm-hmm. And, you know, and, and, and making sure she's taken care of and she goes to the bathroom. And so it just, it's a nice 'cause I just, I did feel very, um, selfish, but not, not in a bad way. Yeah. I felt very, um. Just self-centered mm-hmm.
For a while in that I, you know, I was, I, and, and it was, it was a good time to do that. Mm-hmm. Where I just was very concerned with my own happiness, my own wellbeing, my own choices, my own, my own habits. And, you know, just before I got her, I, that was when I, you know, I was, I, I picked up, um, you know, I've read, you know, a Return to Love several times.
I've read The Universe Has Your Back several times. I was also reading How to Be a Badass, which is another great book. Um, and as much as I was love and I was listening to a bunch of podcasts and I was just like, I was like in this, I was almost being too hard on myself to better myself. Yeah. It, and it became.
Just noise. Mm-hmm. Um, and I, I was feeling a little, um, just overwhelmed and it was almost crippling. 'cause I just, I, I felt like I was listening to so many different prescriptions of this is how you, you know, achieve greatness and this is how you get over your attachment, you know, emotion to emotional eating and this is how you, you know, get past, you know, your personal roadblocks and all these things that I just was like, ah, I want this to stop.
Yes. And I, you know, whatever is supposed to have, you know, 'cause I've read all those things and I've listened to all the things and whatever sticks will stick and, and, you know, getting butter just helped, just simplify and mm-hmm. Add some quiet. Um, and it was, it was, you know, it has been and, and continues to be just the greatest.
And I'm sure all of my friends like adore her, but are also like, I'm sure, frustrated with me because more often than not on. A week end night. I just kind of wanna stay home and hang out with her. I'm like, you can come over, we can go somewhere dog friendly. Um, so, and it's okay. And I'm, you know, they, all of my good girlfriends are either totally on board and supportive, um, or, you know, they understand.
Mm-hmm. And it's just right now, and, and certainly my looking after her and, and, and, and becoming a dog mom, you know, if everything in my life I'm approaching from, if it's not a hell yes, it's a no. Yep. And that goes across the board. That goes work, that goes relationships, that goes dating, that goes nutritional choices, that goes family obligations, dinners, you know, exercise, the thing, the whole thing.
It's, it's important that. We have to set these, um, it's not a parameter. Why aren't we going forward the hell Yes. In everything. Yep. Like, why are we wasting our time doing something else? Yeah, sure. There are moments of obligation, but otherwise I want my life to be a hell yes. Yeah.
And even, you know, it's about, it's even about just approaching the ob you know, quote unquote obligations that we have from a different mindset.
Mm-hmm. And, and empowering yourself more. I'm more often than not, you know, gladly will participate in said obligations. Mm-hmm. But it's, it's empowering yourself with the ability to say no if you want. And sometimes you do, and you know what? The world turns, boundaries are important. And, and certainly, you know, back to your original question of like what I do to like, sort of keep everything in somewhat of, of a sense of balance, which, you know, that can, the tipping scale is, is ever
tipping.
It's, it's right on the edge. Always.
Always. And that's, you know, that's a constant, um, you know, balance is something that I think is, and I've learned, and I I've, I've come to learn this over the last few years because it's been so, such a goal of mine, of like balance, you know, balance is key. You have to get balance, you know, everything has to be towards balance.
And it's just, it's, it's this sort of, it's a, it's a fleeting idea. 'cause I can be like, I feel perfectly imbalanced in this moment. I feel energized and inspired. Um, you know, but, but. Something could happen in the next hour that tips it off. But I know I still need to be in, be in balance in my, in my body and in my soul and in, in my, in my, in my power.
You know, I, I, I don't know what I would think of that balance looked like when I would say like, oh, I'm seeking balance. But it's just every day it changes. I think we think it's more organized. Yeah. Yeah. I think, or I think we think it's, it's more measurable mm-hmm. Where we can say like, oh, you know, eight hours of, of work and eight hours of sleep.
Like, is that balance? No, because then I'm, I'm missing out on other things.
And that's why I love that you said you read all this, you listened to it, and you were like, hold on, I'm just gonna do what I want. Yeah. '
cause it just, it felt, um. Just too overwhelming. And I'm not, I'm not, you know, I love all of those things I mentioned, and I love all those women and I love all of what they preach, but it just, the way that I was, I was ingesting all of it.
And that the rate at which I was ingesting all of it, I was, I was also just, again, admittedly just hoping for not a quick fix, but like a clear, you know, sign from above or, or solution to be like, this is how you fix everything. Not that anything is broken, but this is how everything you know will unfold if you, you know, study this hard and you do this and you do this and you do this equals, you know, career of your dreams, family of your dreams, health of your dreams, all the things.
And it's like, no, it's not that easy. And it's not that, um, linear.
Well, I, I think too that there's the, we put so much pressure on ourselves, especially as women, especially with, I. Being able, having visibility to people's lives or alleged lives Yes. As to what they're doing. Oh, social media. And it's like, uh, then like we, we put these expectations on ourselves that are usually ridiculous.
Yes. And, and when you step back, I think, I think that to me, the balance is taking the time out to step back and say, am I doing things that get me excited, or am I just doing things just like you did? Yeah. Am I being lived or living? Yep. And as long as you check back in, like, and get rid of the stuff you don't think you need, like, I think that's one of the biggest struggles people have.
And it shows up when I'm coaching people and they're like all the, the shoulds versus the wants. Yeah. We, and it's all from fear. It's all from fear and often incorrect classification of shoulds and wants. Yes. Like and because. From such an early age, we adopt other people's expectations or thoughts or views.
Yep. We don't even realize that they're not ours until we like, oh, hold on. Wait, what do I think? Yeah. And we don't have an answer. Yeah. And then you get scared and you're like, oh shit, I don't have an answer. And you're like, no, it's actually fine. You can go and find it. Yeah. You don't have to like mm-hmm.
How
we are never encouraged to say, I don't know. Mm-hmm. In work, in life, you're never, you know, you're always, you know, labeled like, oh, well, she's a dummy. Or like, oh, well, yeah. Mm. Maybe she's not the one. If you just say, I don't know, I don't have the answer. Yeah. I'm, I would love, I would love to talk about it, but I don't know.
Or, you know, some of the, some of the greatest CEOs and CEOs that I have, have, you know, read books about and autobiographies and, and, and, and, you know, met had the pleasure of meeting, they say it's like. The, the, one of the, the greatest pieces of advice consistently that, that I hear from them that they were given is admit when you don't know and hire the best person who knows.
Yeah. And talk to that and, and, and seek out that knowledge. Know what you don't know and know that you don't, aren't supposed to know everything.
No. And you're not
supposed to be the master of, of the universe and all of knowledge. Um, you know, but I think certainly as women, we are conditioned from an early age to your point of, of, of behaving a certain way and saying yes to everything.
And, you know, stretching ourselves thin because that's what we think, you know, a working women with, you know, with bills and friends and a life and, and a family. That's what we think success looks like of, of a full plate. And sometimes the full plate is what kills you. Yeah. And, and, and sometimes, you know, and the thing what I said about fear of like the shoulds and the wants, it's, I want to simplify, but I should go to dinner with this person that I actually don't like.
Like Yeah. And, you know, you get trapped in this way of, you know, making the assumption that if you do start living your life from a place of hell Yes. Yeah. Um, you know, organically and, and sometimes necessarily things in your life will, um, will eliminate themselves. And that's friendships, that's habits, that's, that's, you know, uh, rituals, that's, you know.
The whole thing. Mm-hmm. And it's sometimes in terms of the friendships and relationships, it's the fear of the loss and the judgment and, you know, the, the confrontation sometimes, um, of, of what, living from a place of hell. Yes. Or just doing what makes you happy and what, you know, makes you happy. Um, you know what that will mean.
Mm-hmm. And, and, and sometimes you're ready for it and sometimes you're not. And that's where the shoulds come in of, of, you know, I really don't wanna go to dinner, or I really don't wanna hang out with whatever, with a friend, with a family member, but I should. Mm-hmm. And it's, you know, it's carrying that, that, you know, gives us stress.
And sometimes you just
gotta. Say hell no. Yeah. And then like, I, I love, there's a, um, a great picture I saw where it's like the most powerful words are No, thank you. Oh, the best. And it gives you freedom because you, to me, no, thank you. Says you get to stand up for yourself. Yes. And play. It's also gracious.
Yeah.
Yeah. No, I mean, it's very similar. It's a sort of a harsher, you know, uh, horse of a different color, but, um, no is a complete sentence. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's all. You don't owe anybody
anything.
Yeah. Whether, you know. Yeah. It's,
I think a lot of people also get cut up because they. They know what they don't want, but they don't know what they do want.
Totally. And I think that as you go through life present, company included, I would say Yeah, but you, I'm still figuring it out. And, and you're always going to be Yeah. Like, it, it, it changes like, it, it's just a scale and where you're on all the different scales of the world, like they're gonna move based on what you're up to, what matters right now, your, your current experiences.
And I think we get so tied up in I don't know what I want, so I should stay in the should zone. And it's like, no. Like just start, pick one. Yeah. What is one thing you know that is a, that is something you are committed to? Yes. Cool. How can that show up in your life? How is it not showing up? And then. If you don't have an answer for another area of your life, like go explore it.
Right?
Go ask people, yes, go meet new people. Go try new things. Yes, go someplace new because you're you, you can't figure out who you are as a person in one moment. So we ask everyone, Ooh, on the Power Place podcast, where you put yourself on a scale of zero to 10, zero being normal, average human, 10 being the most powerful lady possible.
Where do you feel you are today and where do you put yourself on average?
Well, right now after this conversation, I'm feeling like an eight. Ooh. Yeah. Um, I'm just, I, you know, I love meeting and, and, and, and conversing with women like you. And I think it's just so, just energizing is the way mm-hmm. Is the only way really to put it in the all encompassing, you know, term I use and it's how I feel after every soapbox.
And it's just, it's so energizing and empowering and it just, it, it's, it's, um. It gives me so much hope, um, for, for our future. Mm-hmm. And for, uh, you know, just the days to come. Yeah. And so I thank you. And then I would say I'm nearly there on average. Yeah. Um, you know, because of my relationship with, you know, like I said, I've talked about them a lot, but my parents have, you know, my, my, my dad, God love him, still calls me Princess.
Mm-hmm. And, you know, he has been telling me that I was gonna be the first female president since I, you know, can remember, even though I'm zero politically inclined. But it's okay. Um, maybe, maybe one day. Um, you know, and my mom is just my biggest cheerleader. Mm-hmm. And, you know, talking to her every day is like, you know, a shot to the heart with adrenaline and pride and love and, you know, I, uh, between soapbox, my, my.
Network at work, both male and female. Mm-hmm. Um, my group of girlfriends, I am constantly, um, empowered and supported and reminded of, of my power mm-hmm. And my, and my impact. Mm-hmm. And, you know, I have made it very clear to, to all those close to me that my love language is words of affirmation. So that's why.
But, you know, I, it, it's also, it's a very sort of fluid, organic, um, sensation that I feel and, and, and, and, and, uh, just what I feel from my friends and, and from my community is, is a constant sense of, of gratitude and mm-hmm. And empowerment. Um, so I would say about an eight on average too. I like it. Yeah.
Yeah. And I, you know, stay tuned. I got stuck maybe one, maybe very day, one day. Soon it'll be a 10. I hope
we, um, you know, I think too, looking at, you're still like so young right? And accomplished and Yes. And, you know, to create something that is bringing hundreds of women together on a regular basis, you know, somebody who wants to follow in your footsteps.
Oh God. How would you tell 'em to start? What would you tell them as your, you know, nugget of advice? Oh, man. Ask the question.
Mm-hmm. Always ask the question. Don't assume either you know the answer or that you shouldn't ask the question. Um, whether it's, you know, can I, the next time can I try it or can I do it?
Or how did you mm-hmm. Um, come to you, the decision you made. Um, never assume that either, whether it's your boss, your colleague, um. Isn't willing to answer the question. So always ask the question. And, um, always also, when you don't know something, it's okay to say you don't know. Mm-hmm. It's okay to say, um, I'm not the best resource and but here are seven people who may know the answer.
Um, 'cause I think, and I, you know, certainly prior to Netflix, I felt this way, uh, in, in, certainly in, in my work life. Um, you know, saying, I don't know, or I don't have the answer. That was never, I would, I would lie often of like, you know, when is this coming in? Or when is this gonna be ready? Or what did you know, what did so and so say about so-and-so trailer version?
I would just, and I didn't have an answer. I'd be like, Ugh. In a few hours or in a few days. And then I'd freak, you know, have to like un back out of my lie and frequently, or like, you know, freak out and send frantic emails to be like, well this, this needs to be ready in an hour because I said so. And I, I'm so sorry.
Um, so just say you don't know. Mm-hmm. Or you don't have it, or it's, and it's okay. Um, and then, you know, this is sort of a, a summation of these two, but the, the, what I said about, you know, CEOs, you know, one of their best, the best piece of advice that they were given is when you don't, when you're not a master in something, find the master mm-hmm.
And learn from them or hire them to do the job that you can't do. Yep. Um, I am never going to be an attorney. I am never going to be a CPA, I am never going to be a heart surgeon. So it's, it's all about, and, and that's okay. I don't need to be, or should I be or want to be, and, you know. It's, it's freeing myself from the expectation of that and, and, you know, sort of grounding it in, in soapbox the fact that you offered to help us with, you know, filing for nonprofit status.
Like, I can't tell you what a relief that is because we've been trying mm-hmm. To figure it out sort of in this echo chamber. And none of us know, and we haven't been practicing what we preach. So you are the master and I bow to you. Um, so, and then, you know, the last nugget is, you know, seek, seek community.
Mm-hmm. Um, you know, if this person following my footsteps is a man, find a mentor. Mm-hmm. Um, or find, you know, a community, whether, whether it's it's, you know, uh, at work or in your personal life, um, that that is aligned with your, with, with your personal values and what's in your heart. Um, and 'cause I think that.
Uh. This, this world we live in can be, and certainly with social media and everything can be very isolating. Um, and stress can be, uh, you know, a huge, um, proponent of isolation. Mm-hmm. And so I would, I would just seek community. Those are my, yeah. I love it. Yeah. Ask the question, say you don't know and, and hire well and seek community.
Those are my, those are my nuggets of advice.
Those are good ones. Yeah. Well, I, it has been such a pleasure. I know.
This was so fun. It's so, I was so, I was really
nervous. No, you did great. But so nice to have you. Thank you for being a yes to me and powerful ladies. Hell yes. Shout out to Jason for connecting us.
Oh my God. Jason, we love you. Uh, and I'm really excited to see what, um, soapbox and powerful ladies and you and I can kind of create and make happen. My God, watch out as we go forward world. Mm-hmm. Can't wait. Yeah, so exciting.
Yay. Yay. Thank you.
Meeting women who are committed to making a difference for other women is always exciting, not only to spend time with women on a parallel path to myself, but to hear how their story brought them to this passion. Jen is no exception. Her passion for the issue she cares about, for cute butter for her girlfriends and the women of soapbox is undeniable and contagious.
Since we taped this episode, the soapbox community has grown to a thousand women. We highly recommend you attend the next soapbox event on August 28th. Visit their website, soapbox la.com to learn more. To learn more about soapbox and to connect with and support with Jen, you can follow her on Instagram at Jen s Weg.
Follow her on Twitter, jen weg. Email her jennifer dot weg@gmail.com. If you'd like to support the work that we're doing here at Powerful Ladies, there's a couple of ways you can do that. Subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcast, Stitcher, Google Play, or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Leave a review on any of these platforms.
Share the show with all the powerful ladies and gentlemen in your life. Join our Patreon account. Check out the website, the powerful ladies.com to hear more inspiring stories. Get practical tools to be your most powerful. Get 15% off your first order in The Powerful Ladies Shop, or donate to the Powerful Ladies one Day of Giving campaign.
And of course, follow us on Instagram at Powerful Ladies for show notes and to get the links to the books, podcasts, and people we talk about. Go to the powerful ladies.com. I'd like to thank our producer, composer, and audio engineer Jordan Duffy. She's one of the first female audio engineers in the podcasting world, if not the first.
And she also happens to be the best. We're very lucky to have her. She's a powerful lady in her own right, in addition to taking over the podcasting world. She's a singer songwriter working on her next album, and she's one of my sisters. So it's amazing to be creating this with her and I'm so thankful that she finds time in her crazy busy schedule to make this happen.
It's a testament to her belief in what we're creating through Powerful Ladies, and I'm honored that she shares my vision. Thank you all so much for listening. We'll be back next week with a brand new episode. I can't wait for you to hear it. Until then, I hope you're taking on being powerful in your life.
Go be awesome and up to something you love.
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Created and hosted by Kara Duffy
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