Episode 23: How Fitness Saved My Life | Lora Bleijenberg | Personal Trainer & Gym Owner

Jul 24

Lora Bleijenberg’s journey is nothing short of remarkable. Once caught in the grip of poverty, abuse, and meth addiction, she’s now a thriving gym owner, personal trainer, massage therapist, and proud dog mom. In this conversation, Lora opens up about her past with honesty, humor, and heart—sharing how love, fitness, and a fierce commitment to change helped her rewrite her story. She talks about the power of finding your “pack,” the importance of speaking your truth, and why no matter how far you’ve fallen, a new life is always possible.

“It’s so powerful for us to have a voice and to say when something is or is not ok and how powerful that is. When you say something mean it. Say what you mean and mean what you say. I really try to live by that.”

— Lora Bleijenberg

Bry Zaragoza
Cypress, C A
Johnny Ap pleseed
After School Specials
CAST - Child Abus e Services Team
Munchausen Syn drome
CASA - Court Appointed Special Advocate
Volcano Burger
Sleep Nu mber Be d
Tilly ’s
Macaroni Gr ill
Ma donn a
MTV
YouT ube
Grunge
Meth
Massage Therapy
Personal Trainin g
Physical T herapy
Missy Elliot
Gwen S tefani
Britney Spea rs
Requie m For A D ream
Ali Owens
Ali Owens x Powerful Ladies Journal
Functional Range Systems
Boys & Girls Club
Marhnelle Hibbard & her Powerful Ladies Podcast
Ryann Gaspara & her Pow erful La d ies Podca st
Ali Wo ng
Joe Rogan
Bill B urr
Greg Fitzsimmo ns
John Mulaney
Bi g Mou th
Ma ya Ru d olph
Lisa L ampinelli
Ellen
Judd Apatow
Follow along using the Transcript
Chapters:
00:00 Meet Lora Bleijenberg
01:15 Growing up in Cypress, CA
03:20 Surviving poverty and abuse
06:05 The role of humor in healing
08:40 Falling into addiction
12:10 Meth use and the turning point
15:25 Quitting cold turkey
18:10 Becoming a personal trainer
21:45 Fitness as a path to self-worth
25:00 Losing everything and starting over
28:15 Sobriety and life changes
31:30 Building a gym and community
34:20 Finding your pack of powerful women
37:00 Speaking your truth with conviction
40:10 Advice for creating a life you love
It's so powerful for us to have a voice. Mm-hmm. And to say when something is or is not okay. And how powerful that is. And to say something when you say something mean it, you mean what you say. Say what you mean. Like I try to like really live by that.
That's Lora Bleijenberg and this is The Powerful Ladies podcast.
Hey guys, I'm your host, Kara Duffy and this is The Powerful Ladies Podcast where I invite my favorite humans, the awesome, the up to something and the extraordinary to come and share their story. I hope that you'll be left, entertained, inspired, and moved to take action towards living your most powerful life.
Lora is one of the funniest people I know, and she oozes love today. Her life is great. She owns a local gym, is a personal trainer, and a massage therapist has a great marriage and is a dotting dog mom. On this episode, Lora shares how she escaped almost every statistic possible, poverty, abuse, sexual abuse, alcoholism, drug abuse, and a meth addiction, and how love, humor, and fitness saved her life.
All that and so much more coming up. But first, hey guys. Did you know that there is a way that you can show powerful ladies some real love? You can be a Patreon of The Powerful Ladies Podcast. Go to patreon.com/powerful. Ladies, there are over six choices for you to figure out how you would like to support us from $5.
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Welcome to the Power Ladies podcast. Yay. You are one of the funniest people I know. Aw. And when Brie was on the show, we talked about how we love being around you because if you're having a bad day or just a regular day, or not a level 10 day. Being in your presence for three seconds, you're like, oh, today is 12th.
This is amazing.
I'm already crying. Oh,
this is excellent. This is going great so far. Um, and yesterday was no exception. I hand delivered you your powerful ladies t-shirt, which you are wearing again today, which I'm so proud about. And within three seconds of everyone wearing their t-shirts, we were hanging upside down on gym equipment,
obviously,
as you do.
Yeah.
So with that introduction, how about you introduce yourself, who you are and what you're up to? Um, my name is
Lora Bleijenberg. Um, I like short walks on a long beach and, uh, I own a gym. I'm a personal trainer, massage therapist, and, um, married to a lovely man named Josh and mother of dogs and mother of three
beautiful dogs.
Yes. Um, I love to root you into like who you are and where you came from with the listeners. So I would love to start by just telling us like where you're from, what was life like growing up, kind of give us a rundown. You know, up to T 20 ish. Okay. And we can go from there because that's a pivotal moment we find in people's lives.
It was actually 20 was crazy. Um, all right, well I'm gonna get dark and dirty real quick. Um, because I think it has everything to do with. Why I am the way that I am today. Um, I was just telling Kara I grew up super poor, which sometimes isn't a bad thing. Um, but it was a way for, um, my mother to separate us from the people around and why they were bad and why we, you know, so we didn't really have like.
Any sort of comradery with anybody around us ever. Really. Mm-hmm. Um, my mother was a drug addict and my stepdad was an alcoholic. And, um, so that left for a very, um, separating experience also. Mm-hmm. And, uh, so I very, I grew up failing really alone. Um, I would, uh, line up all my stuffed animals and, uh, I would call myself Lora famous 'cause all I want, oh yes.
I'm gonna
call you that now, I think. Thank
you. Thank you. 'cause I just wanted friends.
Mm-hmm.
And so, fortunately now I get to have a career where, um, every hour, on the hour I have a new friend. Um, that I care about and I get to help and, uh, which is a pretty amazing life. Um, where, where were
you growing up?
Like
what? I grew up in Cyprus. Okay. Uh, California. And we grew up in a trailer park and we, um, and oddly enough, my, my dad and stepmom moved into that same trailer park. So when I was traveling from my mom's house and my dad's house, I would have my, like, my little luggage on my shoulder, like Johnny Appleseed going from street one to street five, like extreme hillbilly.
It was great. So bear near, near, near, near, near, near. No.
Yeah, no.
So, uh, that, that was really confusing, um, because, you know, I had my mom's household where it was obvious that all this stuff was going on. And then I had my dad's household where he was, you know, physically abusive. But, you know, we went to church and we had this really like religious type of, um, upbringing there.
Mm-hmm. And. It, it just, it made for a very confusing childhood. My, my dad, uh, my dad was blind. Um, which I, I, looking back, it's like how do you have a blind person that's also physically abusive?
I was just thinking in my head like, that is a sick possible. A very funny joke.
It is. Mm-hmm. I didn't learn until much later that I could just be quiet and hide.
Like I'm not the smartest person in the room. Like I definitely, oh, oops. So like, it took a while. Took a while.
I, and this is part what I love about you, is that you are able to take these dark moments in your life and step back and look at them and be like, huh, that's weird. Ready. And maybe it's, there's some humor in that, even though it's taken a long time to see it
to.
Yes, definitely. And I think, I love to laugh, like I was just sharing with the girls earlier, like, I love podcasts, I love standup comedy. Like, yes, if my husband's outta town and there's somebody that I wanna see, I just take myself to a club. Like, I just love, I love to laugh and I love, um, I love humans.
Yes. So any way that I can incorporate that into my world is my, like, is my jam.
And it shows up like you are, like, if you're in a, an event, I'm like, we're hanging out with Lora, that's cool. We're gonna have a great time.
Aw. But
it's true. 'cause you, it's you ooze love in the sense that you want people to feel amazing all the time and you want to help them physically on that journey.
You want to help them mentally on that journey. And you don't need to like, just you being, you helps people do that. Thank you. Well,
I love being around you. I think you're so rad. So you wanting me to do this felt like such an honor. So thank you.
My pleasure. Thank you for that. It's an honor for me. Okay, so back to, you're back in your two homes?
Yes.
Back to the hillbilly extravaganza. Mm-hmm. So to the two homes, um, my stepmom, her, uh, father, um, was a pedophile. Mm-hmm. And so unfortunately I was a victim in that also. And, um, that led down or that. Took my loneliness to a whole new level. Yeah. Like I really started the self-hate. Mm-hmm. I really started to blame myself and, um, there's something wrong with me.
Yeah.
You know, is it happening because I wore, you know, it's the eighties, so I'm wearing bike shorts and tank tops and, you know. Yeah. Am I even, even as young as, you know, 6, 7, 8, 9, like, I'm having these thoughts like, oh, maybe I'm asking for it 'cause I'm wearing
That's crazy. Isn't crazy. Isn't were You were six when it started.
Mm-hmm. Approximately. Mm-hmm. Yeah, six until about 11. So, um, it's interesting how, looking back now, how. Kids are a lot smarter, I think, than we realized back then. You know, always. Mm-hmm. And I think we're honoring that now. Uh, fortunately, but, you know, all these documentaries coming out about, you know, uh, famous people and what they were doing to kids and, and, and the repercussions of this, and how some of them lied initially and now they're coming back.
And it's because you think you have this special relationship with somebody.
Yeah.
You know, and my mom asked me at a young age now, mind you, like, she's a drug addict and physically abusive and crazy. So she's asking me like, you know, is something happening to you? 'cause we watch some kind of lifetime special.
Mm-hmm. You know, or whatever after five o'clock after school or something. Oh, yeah. Afterschool specials. Yes. Those, those those, mm-hmm. Yes. And if anything was ever happening, anything like that ever happening to you, you would tell me. And I already, and I knew, I was like, no, nothing's happening to me. But I already knew at that age, I couldn't tell her.
And I don't know why. Mm-hmm. Like, I remember, that's such a vivid moment for me. Um, I, she wasn't a safe person. Right. I think, and maybe like, I knew it was wrong, but I didn't know why it was wrong. Mm-hmm. And maybe the movie, I don't, it was just so much, you know.
Well, and I think when you're, you, you had such a unique situation of having every adult that was supposed to take, take care of you impacting you negatively in a different way.
That's, that's a valid point. Yeah. Right. Definitely.
So, so of course you don't feel like there's someone who's safe 'cause who, who knows what the impact could be
to Yeah. You, you didn't know. And that, that's one thing, like, you know, especially with my dad, you know, something that was okay yesterday wasn't okay today.
Mm-hmm. So what could have been a safe moment no longer is, and there was, there was a moment where my brother, I think was two and he'd put, uh, his, his, um, uh, swim shorts away and my dad couldn't find them. And so he got super mad, started hitting him. And so I threw my brother out of the way and was like, you know, if you need to hit something, you need to hit me.
You know, and so he did, and he got out whatever he needed to get out, and then everything was fine after that. And so that's super confusing, like mm-hmm. In the moment. Like, I knew how to handle it. Yeah. I can handle it, you know, but, um, you know, what's tomorrow like mm-hmm. You know, and I always, um, and, you know, thinking about how I just wanted love, like whatever I needed to do.
Yeah. Just, I, I needed love. I needed, um, acceptance. I needed, uh, uh, anything, you know, and so trying to navigate that, you know, I met my, uh, my best friend who's still currently my best friend. I was 10 and, um, she came to school and the last new girl that had come to our school had gotten swooped up by the popular girls.
And I was not going to let that happen again. Yes. So I go, I inter, I don't remember if I introduced myself to her at school. Mm-hmm. But she also lived in my trailer park, so I marched my happy butt down to. The fourth street. Mm-hmm. Knocked on her door and was like, hi, my name's Lora. I wanna be my friend.
And we've been, we've been friends ever since. I love that. Totally. She's talk about a powerful lady. She's incredible. She works, she does something. The research and sales department for Hyundai. Like, she is just a beast. Like, she knows how to navigate the workplace and, um, she, she's just incredible. Mm-hmm.
Like where she's come from and where she is now. Like, she's, she's amazing. Like, I, if she did this podcast, that would make me very happy.
Excellent. And you recommended so many women. Thank you. Oh yeah.
I've got like, there's more, there are more. I, I have a, I have a gift for finding fabulous women, so, uh, hopefully, hopefully we can get them on here.
Like, attracts like, oh, thank you. Thank you
darling. Um, so I found Cameron and then like. Anything was possible. We got into all the shenanigans, you know, we're hanging out with older boys, we're doing things we shouldn't be doing. We, um, I mean, for that age, and then, um, you know, finally I had somebody to tell about my sexual trauma.
Mm-hmm. So, um. We were in music class, I told her, you know, I have something I have to tell you. And she's like, what'd you get? Did you fail a test? I'm like, I was so bad at school that I, I'm like, that's not even a what, no. So I'm like, I'll tell you, recess. And then I told her, and you know, I've asked her now as an adult, you know, how did that feel?
And she's like, well, I felt important. I felt like I could do something for you and like I could help. And so mm-hmm. Um, which is awesome. Mm-hmm. Because I could, for some people that would be really scary. Yeah. And so, but for her, you know, she's like, all right, we're gonna do this. She went and got my teacher who, um, came in, gave a big old hug, got the, um, the principal involved, child Protective Services, gets involved, and then they call a company called cast, which comes in play later.
But they're the ones that interview the child. So the child doesn't have to go to court. And this is the company that does it, orange County. And, um, so like, I got this stuffed animal that I still have to this day. It was really, um, really, uh. Just amazing people that handle you with care. Mm-hmm. And know how to deal with a child in a traumatic experience.
And, um, it was the first time my voice mattered. Now looking back as an adult, like what are these pivotal moments of why, you know, why I don't shut up? Number one to a fault. That's fine. Um, and why it's so powerful for us to have a voice mm-hmm. And to say when something is or is not okay. And how powerful that is.
And to say something when you say something mean it.
Yeah. You
know, mean what you say. Say what you mean. Like I try to like really live by that. And, um, I, I think this was the beginning because my voice hadn't mattered up to this point. You know, and so finally I have this moment where I tell Cameron, and then this happens.
And, uh,
did it all happen in an afternoon?
Yes. So they had me contact, they, they said, who can we contact that is a family member but not a parent? And it was my sister who was a preschool teacher around the corner, and I had just been to her preschool within that week, so I knew she was close. And they do that just so that you don't get put back into a abusive environment.
They wanna like, analyze the situation before. Yeah. You know, they send you home. I don't know that, I just know that my sister's gonna come to me, you know, and she doesn't have a car at the time she runs down there, you know, I'm like, you're the only one I trust. And she's like, you know, I got you. You know?
Mm-hmm. Which, um, was huge. You know, I have three sisters and, you know, she's eight years older than I am, and so she, you know, she was there and that was, you know, amazing. But then after that, you know, my mom. Was so excited to have drama in her life.
Oh,
it was super weird. Like, was it
Munchin's disease?
Right? The uh
oh, mu, yeah. Munch houses is by proxy. Yeah. Don't, thank you. Don't, I don't know if it falls in that category or not. Mm-hmm. To be honest, she, it didn't like the abuse, like wasn't like the big deal. It was that we got to go to the police department. They used me as an informant. They called, you know, called him.
Why do you do this to me? He's like, I don't know. I don't tell anybody, you know? So they got to use that in court so that I didn't have to be mm-hmm. A part of it, which is awesome. You know? Not a lot of people get that opportunity. I got that opportunity. Yep. You know, but like, I'm having nightmares at night and she won't let me sleep in bed with her.
She's, there was one night where she let me sleep at the end of her bed like an animal. And I remember feeling honored to be able to have that and then looking back, being like, ah, that's fucked up. Like I'm glad they didn't fuck me up in the moment. Mm-hmm. But like, God, like my natural reaction when somebody has like a look on their face, I'm like, come here, lemme give you some love.
You know? But she wasn't capable of that. Mm-hmm. So now, um, you know, I've, I have get a little bit of therapy under my belt. Um, I have an amazing therapist whose name I wish I could remember because I would love to find her and be like, it turned out, you know? Yeah. 'cause you never know when you deal with child, with children, like what's gonna happen.
Right. And I went for like a year and a half.
Well, and I have some friends who are big in Casa. The court appointed, um, O Casa Youth Center in Lasal. It's, it's the, I'm gonna mess up the acronym so I'll put it in the show notes. But it's the pe it's a court, court appointed person that represents the child in court who go through foster care.
Oh yeah.
And my friend, his wife's been doing it for a long time. She's amazing. Now he's doing it 'cause there's such a need for men to be part of this group. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And he's in the, he heard that there's a statistic of 70% of people who are in jail today either came, were in foster care and from abusive families.
I believe it. And it's court appointed special advocates. Thank you. Um, and these people do amazing work. Mm-hmm. Similar to the, the cast cast group. I'm sure they're aligned in part of the same thing. Oh yeah. Court appointed.
I always wonder what it stood for. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. 'cause that's what they're doing, man.
I can't, yeah. I can't even, I believe it. I believe it. You know, it's, it's amazing that. I cared too much about what people thought of me, thank goodness to where I never got caught. Mm-hmm. You know, doing the things I was doing and, um, which is very fortunate. Yeah. Very fortunate, because my life would be very different, you know?
Um. Fortunately, you know, I did have that therapist not for very long. 'cause at some point like it, I, I wanted to hang out with my friends. I wanted to hang out with Cameron. I wanted, you know, and then I got a boyfriend and it was all of these things, you know? And, you know, this was sixth grade when I finally said something.
And then, you know, by seventh grade I have this boy that I'm super obsessed with. Mm-hmm. So now I look back, oh, here's trauma and it's finest that I'm like, you need to fix me. Yeah. You know, and I couldn't eat anymore and I was a pretty chubby little kid. And then like, I got this boyfriend, I literally could not consume food anymore.
I would think about him in dry heath. And this was, I used to hide like cookies and candy in my stuffed animals and eat out of their necks. Child like, like ugh. At nighttime, cry a little bit, chew a little bit, like self therapy and totally self-soothing. Mm-hmm. And, um, and so to not be able to eat outta my self animals and eggs is another trauma.
No, I'm kidding. But, um, so I ended up. Having that boyfriend and then he broke up with me and, and I had lost like 40 pounds or something, like a large amount of weight for a 12-year-old. That's a lot. Mm-hmm. And then I started gaining weight rapidly through my eighth grade year. Meanwhile, I look like a boy, which was probably good, but it was awful at the time.
Like, yeah. You know, people calling me a boy and my stepmom being like, you know, it's a girl actually. So stepmom wasn't around anymore at that point, because after I said something, that whole side of the family totally stopped talking to me at that point. Including your dad? My dad for like a year, he moved in with my, he moved in with my grandma.
They got, they split dad and stepmom split. And I remember him saying like, you know, I can't believe that he did that, but he said it in a way that made me feel like he didn't believe me. And whether that's true or not, the story I tell myself, I don't know. Right. But that's definitely like how it felt in the moment.
Mm-hmm. And maybe he didn't want it to be true. Mm-hmm. You know, and he'd had his own traumas. Growing up. So like when you've never dealt with yours and then it's in front of you and you don't know how to navigate life, I mean Yep. You know, it, it is what it is. I mean, stuff that I held onto for a long time until it's like, that's his story.
Yeah. I don't need to hold onto that, you know? Mm-hmm. And, um, it just trying to navigate like where I belong and, and, you know, wanting attention from boys so much, like mm-hmm. Every week I'm like finding a new boy to make out with. Like, I, you know, will you have me? Will you have me? Do I have value? Will you have me?
And then at 14, um, my mom and I got into, um, our last physical fight. Like, at this point, I'm taller than her. I'm like 5 4, 5 5. And my mom is about five feet tall. Mm-hmm. And she, she couldn't control me anymore. She was gonna keep me from getting a job. And she said, if you get a job, it looks like we're not doing what we should as a parent.
Well, I didn't realize the magnitude of that statement.
Oh yeah.
So I'm like, no, like, you guys can't provide, like, I, I can do this. You know, I'm, I'm not. You know, the things that I wanna do, we can't afford. Right. So I might as well get a job and be able to do some of them,
which no other 14-year-old is saying at that time.
Totally. Totally. So I get a job, I dunno if you're familiar with Las Al, but I get a job at Volcano Burger. It's the bomb. If you get the chili fries, haven't put the cheese on first. Mm. So good anyway,
because then the cheese melts a little bit. It, it
does. So gooey. It's the perfect, oh, anyway, I love food so much.
I don't have to eat 'em out of neck anymore, which is nice. So that's good. Um, but I get a job there and it was so I, oh, I had to move out. Mm-hmm. Like, we got into our last fight and my grandma had to, my grandma, my father's mother, um, she fought for custody so that my dad would have some, when my mom and dad split, you know, she's a ruffled woman.
Mm-hmm. But she is. You know, when she fights for something, she's a bulldog. Yeah. And she did, she fought so that there was custody there. And, um, she fought for you? She fought for me, yeah. Mm-hmm. And, um, she's, why I have the life I have today. You know, my other sisters had to figure out a different navigation plan and 'cause that's not their biological grandmother, so my mom would not let them go with her.
So on times where, you know, there'd be the Columbus day.
Yeah.
And you know, we're off school. My grandma's like, I'll take 'em. Mm-hmm. I'll take me my little sister. My mom's like, no. Like, it's not a real holiday. Or if it was a real holiday, she wouldn't let, my mom wouldn't let my grandma take other felon members.
Nope. Just at us fight, you know. No, you can't. They're not yours. So they would just sit at home. Like, we'd just sit at home doing nothing. You know? I mean, I would torture my little sister in ways that like she is going to seriously have to work through in therapy. I'm sure like poor thing. But, um, you know, she's.
And my little sister's a warrior too. Like, I mean, we did, um, all my sisters like we did what we had to do. How many are
you and what's the order? Yeah.
I have, I have three sisters. I have two older sisters and a younger sister.
Mm-hmm.
And, um, and then I have a brother from my dad and my stepmom. Okay. So there's five total and I'm in the middle.
Mm-hmm. My third one. And, um, my sisters are not related to my brother, and then they have siblings I'm not related to. And it's a whole hill belief.
Every sister is from a different father.
The first two have the same father. Okay. My mom was 17 when she had my first sister. Mm-hmm. And then she was 21 when she had my second sister, and then 30 when she had me, and then 35 when she had, I guess she would've been 34.
She turned 35 that year when she had my sister. Mm-hmm. My younger sister. So, um. Yeah, there's just a lot. And you know, my mom really tried to navigate her life through which man she could hold onto.
Mm-hmm.
But she would always say, I don't need a man, you know, screw men. I don't need a man. So like I really tried to embody that even though she didn't.
Yeah. And it didn't dawn on me until I was an adult of like, oh, she was never able to support herself. She always had to rely on a man. She tried to have kids to like keep them, that was her way to understand like love and like mm-hmm. Just how, like, just the mixed messages. But it really, it really instilled in me like, I have to be able to stand on my own two feet.
Mm-hmm. You know, to a fault. Like I had something I had to work through in my marriage, you know, it was good when I was younger, but it, it's not something that has something I had to learn to work through that wasn't serving me the last five years. Well, 'cause
it doesn't leave room for other people to contribute.
No. Ex Exactly. Things that my husband wants to be a part of or, you know, not, you know, not that he wants me to need him per se, but like. You know, he said to me one day, like, I feel like you have one foot out the door and the other foot on a banana peel. And I was like, you can tell. I know. Like, it was such a surprise.
Like, I'm like, man, I'm not as smooth, as smooth as I thought I was. My goodness.
Yeah.
You know so
well, and people love you. They want to be doing things as a team.
A hundred percent. And I couldn't, I couldn't understand that before. Mm-hmm. You know, I'm grateful that I can now, but I, I, you know, I couldn't understand that before.
And you have such a great husband. Isn't he wonderful? Oh my gosh, he's so hot.
I, if nothing else, I want people to get out of this episode that whatever life you, whether you think you deserve it or you don't deserve it, or it's too crazy and it's not possible, like, no, like you, everyone is, has a path that leads them to an awesome, incredible life.
And I am so happy that you chose, made the choices. You did that. Got you. Here
Totally.
Because you were such an example for other people and we haven't even made it through. Like, we're up to like age 14 right now. You 14? Yeah. Mm-hmm.
I'll try. I'll get to 20, I'll get 20.
Yeah.
Um, and I, I don't, and I, I look back, like, I look back at, I call her a little baby Lora.
'cause I do believe in like, healing the inner child, you know, and I look back at her and I'm just like, she was a badass. Like, oh yeah, well, she could tolerate, I'm such a wimp now. Like what she could tolerate and what she could do on a daily basis. Now I'm like, no, I need my sleep number bed and I need my, my, my heating pad and my soft socks.
And like, there's all these things that I require to feel comfortable and like what I had to deal with when I was younger. It just blows my mind. Mm-hmm. She was such a trooper, you know? So, you know, we get in our fight, I call my grandma, come get me. And she always said, if you need to move in with me, you can, but you can't go back and forth.
Yeah. It's gotta be like a solid choice. And you know, I felt, you know, like I was obligated to be with my mom. Mm-hmm. I think that's probably biological.
Yeah.
And then we had that last thing and I had this moment of what am I doing? Mm-hmm. I could, I can go to the church I want to go to, I can be a part of the youth group I wanna be a part of.
I can work. Like I know she'll support me working. God, she worked three jobs until she was 68. Like, let's do it. So I shoved everything that I possibly could into a duffle bag. Mm-hmm. Um, which means I don't have a lot for my childhood, but That's fine. Um, and moved my, my mom was calling my sister trying to get them to convince me to stay and they're like, why?
Good for her. She has somewhere to go. Mm-hmm. So we, um, I. Ended up not being able to interview for that job that day. But I think I interviewed the next day and it was like a working interview and they hired me. I worked there for two years until I was 16 and able to work somewhere else. 'cause not a lot of places will hire a 14-year-old.
Yeah.
And I worked at Chili's, a world of jeans and tops.
Yes.
And um, I worked there for two years and then I worked at the Macaroni Grill and meanwhile, uh, at 14, at 12 I found alcohol, which was awesome. Total solution for me. Um, you know, a bunch of us lived in the trailer park and like party, most of party Our parents are drunks.
Absolutely. So they're like, I don't know how much I drank last night. So, you know, it was easy to attain. And, um, you know, a, a good buddy of mine, uh, you know, his mom used to drink with my stepdad at the bar. And so, you know, I could sneak out the window and do what I gotta do. And um, and then when I moved in with my grandma, you know, again, she worked two, three jobs.
My dad at this point, he had moved with my grandma, his like. I became the tyrant in the home. Mm-hmm. Unfortunately, at this point, like he, his body, he'd become very physically weak. After the divorce. He stopped taking care of himself. He stopped working out. So now like I'm the one, like, I'm calling the shots you don't have, you know, you, nothing, you say matters.
And I was just hell on wheels. Like I feel bad for like the mouth that I had. Mm-hmm. And like there was one day my dad tried to tell me no to something and I'm like. Why he said, well, I say yes to everything. I'm like, that's the stupidest reason I never ask you to do something that's unreasonable. And I picked up my stuff and left because I could, you know, well he was
like a roommate.
He was a total roommate. Like, he tried to tell me he was gonna kick me outta the house and you know, he pays more because I was there and I'm like, no you don't. I know how much you spend. It's the same whether I'm here or not. Things your kids shouldn't know. I shouldn't have had that much leverage, but I did.
So, um, me and Lora is now like terrorizing the cities, like taking everybody down that I can, but I'm still like that girl that wants that girlfriend. You know, I've got, you know, Cameron had moved and so, you know, her and I weren't as close at the time. And I had made friends with a girl in school and, um, it was me and like one other girl against the world.
That's always kind of how I ran my life. Mm-hmm. That was like my safe place. And um, and I think too, having so many sisters probably had a lot to do with that. You know, I liked having boyfriends, but like having that girlfriend was really important to me. And then the boy that I was obsessed with in junior high, we dated on and off in high school.
And that was a, a super unhealthy relationship because I just kept putting all of my trauma on him and he had his own trauma. Mm-hmm. You know, and so I keep, everybody would say like, you know, what a jackass he was or, and you know, not that he was all that nice, but like, I don't know that I was even tolerable right at that point.
So I ended up, um, at 17, same thing. What am I doing? Mm-hmm. You know, why do I keep wanting this boy to like me? Like, he's not, he's not good. He's not good for me. So that was another hard change for me at that point. And now I'm working at Macaroni Girl and the Gap, and I've got all of these adults around me that can get me booze and drugs and everything I could ever imagine.
Mm-hmm. So everything is escalated at this point. I'm having a great time. These are all solutions for me. And, um, I'm really enjoying working with people and I love customer service. And, um, you know, I did really poorly in school and now I know it's 'cause you, it's hard to focus in school when you have a bunch of trauma.
Yeah.
So, um, you know, I think I'm stupid. So like, I barely graduate high school. Oh my gosh. I ditched all the time. And, um, I ended up, uh, at massage school after I graduated high school. And it, it was because, um, I would always like touch people and people would say, oh, you're really good at that. And then somehow it got to, I'm gonna give you ecstasy to come to my party.
And we'll all massage each other and I need you to be there 'cause you're the best at it. I'm like, sweet. So like little entrepreneur situation there, like little exchange that we can do Uhhuh. And um, and then I lived with my sister and brother-in-law at the ti uh, uh, my senior year for a little while.
'cause it got really bad at home. And my brother-in-law was a crane operator and he had like shoulder issues and so he'd have me work on him too. So between like the amazing, like ecstasy massage and the uh, uh, I'm
imagining everyone sitting in a circle like a
hundred percent. Yeah. Watching a TV with lights on it, licking my whips.
Like that was me hardcore drug addict right there. No, I'm kidding. Just, just dumb 17 year olds like, I mean, is what we're doing. So, um, I, so that. Really was why I ended up going to massage school. My grandma wanted me to go to this, this Christian school, and I had already decided to, um, go against that faith and I'm, you know mm-hmm.
I'm trying to find myself. And so anything that I was connected to, I'm doing the opposite.
Yep.
And, uh, so instead of going to this Christian college and Fullerton, I decided to, um, become a massage therapist. I had never even had a professional massage like it's bananas that I decide. You had no idea what you're getting into.
No idea. But I was, I was good at it. You know, I went in and like there was people that were, had been in for X amount of months and they would let me work on them, which was a privilege because they don't usually let the newbies touch the people that have been there 'cause they don't know what they're doing and mm-hmm.
You know, so that really opened up so many avenues for me as far as like education and learning about the body. It was the first thing that made sense to me. Yeah. You know, because, you know, a muscle where it's located, what it's called, is usually indicative of where it's located or what it does. There's logic behind it.
There's logic behind it. Mm-hmm. So I'm, it just, it, it was the first time I didn't feel stupid.
Yeah.
And so I couldn't get enough of it. That was amazing. Um, I worked as a massage therapist, um, for a lady that ended up being a raging alcoholic. And so it was a really unhealthy work environment. I stayed a, um, uh, a waitress during this time as well, and, uh, realized that.
I could go into personal training with this because I'd always had this fear, like I never wanted to like look like my family, like my so many of my family members. Mm-hmm. And my grandma's brothers were like five, 600 pounds. Like, they were just enormous people. And I'm just like, I don't wanna die in my fifties like this.
Like mm-hmm. That's, and just, and I think that was just like a driving force to wanting to get into fitness and then realizing with massage, it's only temporary. Like you can't fix somebody with just manipulation. Like you have to strengthen the tissues to be able to, um, grow, yeah. To be able to be, you know, more efficient in your life and to heal.
Mm-hmm. So I end up getting into personal training, um, that way. And, uh, oh, side note had a meth problem and was like, oh, this isn't working for me. Everybody that I work with is, is using, I need to, uh. Not be here anymore. And so where was the
here?
Uh, macaroni Grill.
So at Macaroni and Grill, that's where everyone was doing drugs of some kind.
Everything.
Oh, we were, oh, totally. Like there was an emergency exit that didn't work. And so I would open that and I don't know if you've ever been there, but they give those, um, bottles of Chianti that you can like pour for yourself and like you just tell your waiter how much you've had. Oh.
So
I'd open the door and just chuck these, like, they were like gallon, like those Carlos Rossi bottles, Uhhuh gallon of wine in the bushes, two three of 'em and steal 'em.
And we'd all go party at the end of the night. So there's that, you know, there's those of us that are doing these drugs and those drugs and, you know, so. Like, I woke up one day and it was another pivotal moment. You know, I'm 1920 and I, I just, I can't, I've turned it into my mother. Mm-hmm. I'm like watching myself in the mirror.
And I had various times in my life where I would like watch myself cry. Yeah. And Brie and I had this moment where, uh, she did the same thing and I'd never met anybody that would do this too, but we'd wear black makeup and then, um, like listen to some sad, angry girl music and then just watch the tears, like, go down my face.
So I would do that as a teenager.
Music video.
Oh, a hundred percent. Like, yeah, exactly. And, um, Madonna
does that, right? I mean, I Does she, well, thinking about that visual, the Mad a Madonna song popped to my head where she's wear all the birds and like wearing the black.
Oh yes. Um, yes. Her, the Life is a mystery
song.
Mm-hmm. I can pic, I can picture that. And I'm also picturing one where like this girl's in a metal room and it's kind of got like, it's got bad lighting and almost like a green blue. Yes. And she's also crying. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I probably, yeah, MTV was important at some point too. Oh yeah. Me too. Yeah. I,
I know, I honestly, it's when I think about the impact MTV and music videos had on me mm-hmm.
I wonder today, like where do kids get that same impact from YouTube? I guess so, but it's ut it just seems so fluffy to me. And I honestly, I hope that there's, I get an impression that there's a renaissance coming of that nineties feeling,
oh,
based on have you been to a till? It looks like it did when I worked there.
Well, it was crazy apparel wise. Yes. I'm like, what? But like that feeling of like, we're all gonna be different and it's not cool to be happy all the time. Like,
oh, like another grunge reform. Yes. I hope so. I
hope so too. Oh my gosh. Because to me it's like, it's a creative thing. I want people to be happy all the time.
Sure. But
I always wanna wear torn jeans in a plaid shirt, though. I can't help myself.
I am like wearing torn jeans. Are you wearing black? Yeah,
I've got my, I got my vans on 'cause my feet are too fat for Converse.
There's a wide They are, they're very narrow. This
is a true thing. If I could chop off my baby toe, I would totally rock the converse.
I've tried, yeah. I up with blisters. It's heartbreaking.
It's heartbreaking. So you realize at 19 that you have a meth problem.
Yes. Yes. It, it was crazy. Like my mom was a meth addict. I was never gonna be a meth addict. And then I hung out with this fabulous dude that just made it look beautiful. Mm-hmm. And I tried it and I was like, this is the answer to all of my problems.
And, you know, 'cause I'd always had that like anxiety, depression, swing. So like it, I mean it was EU fort obviously. Why else do you do drugs? It was euphoric. And I'm like, Ooh. Daily user from day one, boom. Mm-hmm. And it took me down really hard. And then I guess I was 20, I had just turned 20. And, um, I. Was really struggling with just functioning.
Mm-hmm. And, you know, I'd had like a bad relationship where I was the tyrant and you know, I had to end it. 'cause I'm like, I'm not a nice person in relationships, I don't belong in them. Yep. And um, and then, uh, and 'cause he was trying to make me somebody that I wasn't and it was just, and which is how like my grandma, God bless my grandma, but gosh, she kept trying to make me a lady and it was just never gonna happen.
So until I was a powerful lady like I am right now.
Yes. Like you always have been. Yes, yes. Thank you. But I think, I think there's a lot in that right of relationships have shit going on in them regardless of your background. Mm-hmm. And regardless of what you're doing to your own body. Mm-hmm. And to think that.
Relationships, you know, just by being with another person at that, on that level, stuff's gonna come up. And then you layer on whatever baggage everyone's bringing to the table. Mm-hmm. And trauma and whatever bad habits you're currently operating on. Like totally.
I and the kinds of people you attract when you're living in that space.
Yes. Like, oh my gosh. Like, I, I heard the term like, um, it's like friends of lower places or something like that. Something along those lines. And that's, that's what it was like, I was only attracting such unwell people. And, um, I, I had this moment of clarity where I'm like, on the floor, in the bathroom, it took me all day to get down, you know, a slim fast bar.
Do you remember those? Yeah. But even the rapper will make me like dry heave if I walk by one. Like, Ooh. But that's all I could eat towards the end of my drug use. And like, I just, and I'm watching again, watching the tears, like, how did I turn into her? How did I do this? You know? And so I decided to get into the fitness entry.
'cause that's obviously what you do at the end of a math problem. And um, did
you just, I mean, how did you end your meth problem? Like,
I just, honestly, I'm so lucky. I just woke up one day, I was like, I can't do this anymore. And you cold Turkey. Cold Turkey.
That is crazy to me. Isn't it crazy.
Crazy. Like October 27th, 2003, and I was already a trainer by October thir November 13th.
That same year, like in one month. In less than a month. It was like two weeks.
Did you do any other, anything else dramatic, like change where you were
living? So I told my friends, I can't be friends with you anymore. And then he ended up getting fired from that job and within two weeks he had gotten pulled over.
Car searched and I, we, him and I were always together. He was like living with me. Mm-hmm. And we always were carrying, and within two weeks he got pulled over, he had expired tags 'cause we don't take care of your stuff. And, um, he was arrested. So had I not done what I had done, yeah. I would've been with him.
Like, we worked all of our shifts at the same time and we did. We all, and like, I was like, wow. Like somebody's looking out for me.
Do you really feel like there was some intervention on your behalf from the universe?
Oh, for sure.
Yeah.
For I left to my own devices. Oh. I'm a mess. So. Absolutely. Absolutely. So, um, that's how I got in the fitness industry and fortunately like a lot of my clients were recovering addicts.
And I think, I mean like attracts like mm-hmm. And I think the universe really wanted me to like. Not be a statistic. I don't know. Yeah. So I had a lot of people that shared my story that I got to, you know, and I had been reading about like fitness and movement and muscles. Mm-hmm. And I didn't just, you know, um, but my manager at the time, uh, he told me what to do, what to study.
I mean, he was like, he on me and he handed me a career on a platter. Mm-hmm. Like he was revolutionary in the how, like now it's how like good personal trainers train, right. Is this way, or like, at least the beginning, like that the body as a whole, you're not just like doing bicep curls, but mm-hmm. Um, it was revolutionary back then.
I mean, treating the body as a whole in physical therapy just started in the mid nineties.
Yeah.
So this is 2003, and that's physical therapy. That's like a therapeutic.
Mm-hmm.
So, you know. Thank God I listened because it enabled me to take the massage and take the training and like mold it into one.
Mm-hmm. You know, and because being able to touch my clients and know what to do in that environment, uh, made me, uh, I think superior. Early on I didn't know that. Yeah. But like, why people stayed with me, why, um, why I was able to be successful, you know, in that career, uh, with, with that company. So that happened, it really helped boost me.
Yeah.
And starting to work out and the benefits that you get from that to help with anxiety and, um, and depression and uh, uh, just self-worth. Like I started to have muscles, you know? 'cause you don't, when you use drugs. So I'm like, oh, what's up self? And so now like, I'm like, I went that boyfriend I went, that boyfriend I went, that boyfriend, like, I'm just like tear, like tearing through 24 Fitness, like I pick you.
And it was really, um, it helped me feel beautiful.
Yeah.
You know, having muscles and feeling strong helped me feel beautiful and helped me like, um, uh. Really kind of come into my sexuality. Mm-hmm. You know, I feel like we had a lot of, um, we had like Missy Elliot and Little Kim. Yeah. You know, Gwen Stefani and, uh, all these women.
Mm-hmm. These women pink, like even Britney Spears, I mean like, to, to make like, I'm not that innocent. Like that was really popular, you know? Yeah. These things where you're trying to break through like the chains of what your family wants you to be, what your parents want you to be. Um, or my grandma. And, and that it's okay to be like a sexual person and to have, um, these feelings, you know, I heard early on like, boys are just gonna wanna do these things to you.
And I'm like, nobody told me that I would want them to.
Right.
I'm like, so I feel like a freak, like nobody else is like me. And finally I'm like, whatever, I'm just gonna live my truth.
Mm-hmm.
And it, it was so empowering and to be in this male dominated industry.
Yeah.
Walking through, like, I own this place, this is mine.
Like, I feel the most confident in a gym in general. And, um, you know, I had a guy, I was training a girl one time and uh, this guy was like, I remember the good old days when the women weren't in the gyms. And I said, you're the same kind of guy that's gonna bitch when we don't look the way you think we should look.
Right. And he's like, oh. I like, where do you think we go to look this way?
Yes.
And he, I, I thought, I'm sure I was way more mouthy. I was in his face like, you know, pointing, you know, you can take the girl out the trailer, but some things were just woo and uh, I mean, he just, he just shocked and he's like, oh, I guess you're right.
And like turned around and walked away. And I was like, yeah, why would you even say that? Ugh. It's, it's in the weight room, you know, you don't belong. And I'm sure it's a lot. It's not so much like that as much I'm
assuming, I assume most guys like going to the gym just to watch girls in yoga pants now. So you
one would think, but in the weight area, like I, I joined a gym again.
Um. Recently 'cause I want to pluck some trainers out and bring them to my gym and where else to go find them. But another gym. And it's been a long time since I've been in that environment. There's, you still have that male ego, but I didn't really feel the annoyance of me being there.
Yeah.
You know? And so, which early my career, like you felt it like, like guy would be like, Ugh, like why are you here?
I remember being, uh, a college athlete, we always had to be training uhhuh and there would always be girl, like huge lines for the treadmills and all the cardio equipment. Mm-hmm. But not a lot of women would be in the weight room. All the other women were other athletes.
Oh yeah. That,
you know, and I was really lucky to have a lot of amazing athlete, male and female friends in college.
Mm-hmm. So we all kind of stuck together 'cause we had similar lifestyles and schedules and it just, it worked. Mm-hmm. Um, but I do remember being like in the weight area and. Guys are being like, do you know how to use that? And I'm like, is this a pickup line? You're really trying to help me right now. I can't tell.
Oh
yeah.
And then like, if you're trying to do your set and then you're interrupting their set, they'd be like,
Hmm, a hundred percent.
And I'm like, I mean, it it in the moment you don't like give a shit about it. Mm-hmm. 'cause that's just, I don't in general, but I remember thinking those thoughts of. Maybe it would be better if we did have our own gym.
Sure.
Yeah. Definitely. I mean, we've, we've tried, um, some of them have been successful, some of them haven't. You know, I mean, I think, I think it's getting better, but a lot of women have the misconception that if you pick up a dumbbell, you're gonna get big. I'm like, it took when, when I went, started trying to get big, you know, I had to eat like 3,500 calories a day.
I lifted, I, oh my gosh. I think I worked out like 11 hours a week. Like, I mean, I did everything I possibly could to put size on. Like, it's, as a woman, it is hard. Yeah. Like a 12 pound dumbbell is not going to make you yolked. Like it's just not gonna happen.
No. And there, and there's so much, if, if you, there's amazing documentaries about all the weightlifters mm-hmm.
On Netflix, but to your point of like calories and food and the type of calories and what they're doing. N no, it's, it's for women, unfortunately, it's hard to lose weight and it's hard to put it on when you want to. Totally. It's,
it's very odd, you know, just, I mean, and consistency is the biggest, you know?
Mm-hmm. Obviously the biggest challenge because, you know, fortunately we get to have such big lives now, you know? And, you know, we aren't stuck at home if we don't wanna be, you know? Mm-hmm. I don't wanna say stuck at home, so people really like that, you know? But we have, we have so much more opportunity to do things and choice things.
Choice and choice, exactly. Mm-hmm. And that's when I worked with my women. I definitely, I mean, I was very man hater about it back then, because I'd be like, look at that guy. He's such an idiot. Look at how he's doing it. Look at how dangerous that is. Mm-hmm. And so that's, you know, I would. How I would quote unquote empower them.
Yeah. Or teach them, like see how much more, you know, because we've been working together. Mm-hmm. And so when the situation comes up, you can say, actually this is why I'm doing this. Mm-hmm. And have some science behind why you're doing it. 'cause you, you start throwing out a science ward and they're like, and they like, kinda like, like, run away.
Yes. You know? 'cause they don't know what, they're not, not everybody, but like, typically the guy that's gonna try to school you or flirt with you doesn't, they're, they just have, they have an agenda and like Yes. You know, understanding the origins and insertion of APEC muscle is definitely not part of that agenda.
No. So they're just No. But, um, so that was really the foundation of me trying to, you know, empower. My women is like, Hey, like we belong here and you can look however you wanna look. You know? And back then that was really important to me with that external, like, you can do whatever you want. You don't have to be an athlete to not be in to, to look the way that you wanna look, and you don't have to be in pain.
Mm-hmm. You know, when I exercised, I'm, my joints are very flexible, so everything always hurt. Yeah. And to find a way that didn't hurt and that I could teach other people how not to be in pain and feel good. I mean, I wanted to shout from the rooftops. Yeah. Like, there's, there's an answer. I don't have to be an, I don't have to be an athlete.
I can, I can just live in this space, in this gym and feel the way that I want to feel, look the way that I wanna look. Um, and I made a good career out of it. Um, then the, and I ended up being in management was really bad at that. I don't know how to coach people to do the job they're hired for maybe in my next life.
I feel like you are where you're at now, though. Uh, they, they, they're independent contractors, so they like pay to be there. So it's a different dynamic,
but I guess, um, I, I, how you occur to me is as a leader there. Oh, thank you. Like people look up to you to see what you're doing. So you might be a better manager by example than some people put dictator and manager in the same bucket, right?
Mm-hmm. Because you think you're managing people or a company and all you care about is like the spreadsheet and this, and now and the rules and Yeah. That's not really what it is.
Sure.
So I, you know, I think when I think of a manager, I think of you for sure. 'cause of how Oh, thank you. You're conducting your space and your leadership and.
Giving people space to do it their way too is a big thing about being a leader.
And I, I, I have to think about it that way. Yeah. Because when I think of myself being a manager, I do think I immediately put myself, I think, in that dictator spot and it's so uncomfortable.
Mm-hmm.
You know, because that's not how I wanna do it.
But yeah, leading by example is important to me.
Well, I think too, when you look at your past experiences, right, of like if, of power
mm-hmm. Oh yeah.
And how it's occurred to you mm-hmm. And how you've used it on people and like not wanting to do that again. That's a good point. I hadn't considered that.
Well, there's, I mean, there's so many. So many people look at responsibility and having to be in charge and having to fix things as having to make other people small in the process.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
And it's actually the opposite, right? Like the best way to fix things is to like ri, help other people rise.
Right?
Right.
In that moment. And a lot of people struggle male and female about what it means to be a manager or a leader. That doesn't involve being an aggressive jerk. Right? Totally. And it's, and when I have coached people on this stuff, it always is amazing to me that people who are most worried about that are the people who will never.
Be that, like if you, if you're on a spectrum of, of like power hungry people mm-hmm. Like the people are asking are like a level two. They're like, I don't, I just don't wanna be a jerk. I'm like, okay, if you show up as a jerk, we'll let you know. But until then go crazy. Right, right. And then it's always the other people that never even, that never crosses their mind.
That's so funny. But yeah. 'cause it's, you think that, you know, it's hard to be a benevolent dictator, but that's not the game that you're playing.
Yeah. No, I Did you ever see the movie Rec Room for a Dream?
Oh yeah.
When he's picturing himself losing his mind, but really he's staying calm. Mm-hmm. Like, that's, that's how I picture myself.
It was just like,
ah.
And because I don't know what's happening on the outside, I just know how it feels on the inside. Yeah. And I'm like that, like that is, that's, that's how it feels sometimes when I see things that I'm like, if I was a manager, this is how it would be happening. 'cause I would just be, you know, a nightmare.
Yes. So that's interesting.
So one of the things that I would love to go back to is. I'm still caught up on the fact that you went from being a daily meth user.
Mm-hmm.
To one day being like, this is bullshit. I'm over it. And then in a month you're a personal trainer. Like to me there's so many steps that you're skipping or not giving yourself credit for, for how you make that transition.
Like, I think you're brave at 20.
Well, and I think we're, I'm stupid both of it. Like I had no doubt in myself, which is crazy town. Yeah. Like it 'cause anything was better than what I was doing.
Well and like to go from not paying, not doing basic tasks right. Because you don't care about them to then being like, I'm gonna study and listen to this guy.
Like what has to happen in your brain where we're like, yes, I will listen. Yes, I will follow the rules. He was really hot. Yes. I'll do the work.
For reals. Like STD Hot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that's why you were like, okay, I'm gonna be focused
a hundred percent.
All right. That, that, that I, I can understand the bridge then.
Oh, so hook, line and sinker. Like anything you say I will do like, yeah, we, there was, there was a relationship there within days a hundred percent. So that's why like, I was not like, oh you're amazing and I'm just gonna sit over, no, like drove to his house, like following him. Like, I have intentions right now.
Oh yeah. Like I don't even know that my employee paperwork was done like lawsuit ready to happen. Oh, a hundred percent. So that's why Okay. You know, 'cause I'm still using, you know, sex as a means of power and control. Mm-hmm. And this was something I had to work on in therapy. Like, as a woman, how do you have power without the sexual side of things.
Mm-hmm. You know? And so I was still definitely using that. Mm-hmm. A hundred percent. So yeah, I was immediately, like, I walk in and he's the one. Interviewing me, I'm all, Ugh. Immediately. Yeah. But drooling, the whole sch. So, um, that, that is why. And, um, but I was such a wreck. 'cause I, I pictured him, like, I put him on a pedestal and I, he was just, he was everything to me.
Mm-hmm. Immediately. And, um, he would walk near me if I was training somebody and I would shake all over and my client would be like, are you okay? I'm like, no, I'm not okay. He's over there and she's like, I'm happy with what's happening right now. That's really all that matters because I'm the customer.
Yeah.
I had so many women like that in my life, early in my career that I, I'm so lucky that they're like consoling me. Mm-hmm. And paying me like, it was crazy. Because of that, it forced me to read and study and learn and. So that I could be better. I wanted to be the best. I wouldn't work out until like 10 o'clock at night.
'cause I was afraid the other trainers were gonna judge me. And so I got to know all the graveyard guys and they were all super nice. Mm-hmm. And so, um, I think that was important for me 'cause I was always such, like, I also had this like, lingering man hater. Mm-hmm. You know, that I was, I was just ready to pounce on anybody that said anything negative to me in the weight room.
Like, I like relished in it, I just waited. Mm-hmm. You know? 'cause I would have this woman next to me and she would think I was powerful and be like, but between 10 and midnight were just these awesome men. Mm-hmm. And I emphasize that because I, I follow a woman on Instagram, um, who brought this up recently.
And I, I think it's important to, you know, recognize our allies. Mm-hmm. You know, that we don't need to be, you know, we don't need to hate everybody or anyone or anyone like that distaste for somebody that has a place and keep it there. Mm-hmm. And not take it everywhere. Mm-hmm. Because I took like, you know.
All of the hate that I had from my dad, my stepdad, my abuser, and just put it on everybody.
Mm-hmm.
You know, you were either with me or you're against me. And that's how it was gonna be.
Yeah.
You know, and you
had to for survival.
A hundred percent. A hundred percent. And you know, there's a lot of people that just didn't deserve what I had, you know, SP out.
Mm-hmm. You know, I'd love to go to the bars and hang out and hang out with the guys and like pick one guy just to like annihilate and have all his friends laugh at him. That was like my favorite pastime. Like I just was, you know, just to. Man hate. Mm-hmm. Like I just, I loved that.
Dominate
a hundred percent.
And then I pee on 'em and walk out. I'm kidding.
Huntington
Beach was like, you
outta here. I was like,
alright. So, um, in
my head I'm like, do you just like stand over them with a skirt or is there like a pants down squatting scenario, but yeah, so if you're in heels
Hmm. Your pelvis tilts quite forward. So if you squat down, it shoots forward.
But I'm more of a leg up on a tree kind of girl. Yep. Or a stool. Whatever you got. Whatever you got. Mm-hmm. A wall more, a wall. More stable. I'm kind of wobbly. Remember the wobbly joints? Yes. I need something more stable, not the stool. So, um, more urine into later. Um,
well have a whole jingle added in for that segment.
Hilarious. So a jingle like, oh, I can't, I'm gonna go off on a total like tangent, like, you're in for it. Get it. We'll, we'll bring you back.
We'll bring you back to fitness. You're in for it. Yeah. Um,
so, uh, yes. So my career is moving forward. I do very well, very, very well. And, um. It was amazing. Mm-hmm. It was the first time in my life that, uh, like I felt smart, you know?
And the other pivotal moment, I remember the first time I got drunk and it was the first time I felt beautiful. And the first time I felt powerful, I was, uh, that's when I was 12. And, um, these moments of, of big change and fear all being like washed away. Mm-hmm. And so then my ego got really big, but meanwhile, like I am, you know, I'm drinking through all this, A lot of us are big partier, so, you know, there's still like those ups and downs with my emotions and my feelings and the insecurities and like how I had to control it mm-hmm.
With drinking. And, um, so I ended up moving into a management position in Huntington and. Everything got real bad, real quick. And so it was like St. Patrick's Day that year and I got wasted. I was going out for a beer, I get wasted the next day. I have 13 clients. I lasted the second one. And that client has to call all my other clients and say, Hey, Lora, sick can't work.
And um, I decide, oh my gosh, I would never do this. It must be the job. So I quit the job. I start my own training business out of another gym. Mm-hmm. And it goes well. And then the market crashes. Mm-hmm. And I lose everything. Within about eight weeks, I went from, you know, 45, 35, 38 to 45 hours a week of training.
Mm-hmm. To two. And I mean, I cleared through my savings. My husband and I had gotten engaged at this point. And, um, I lost everything. It was awful. It was a really bad time.
And I don't wanna skip over the fact that. You got wasted on St. Patrick's Day. Had to cancel on most of your clients the next day and decided it was the, the job, the new management position's fault.
You're like, I'm out. Mm-hmm. But I'm gonna start my own company because I can.
Yeah.
You do it. Oh yeah. It works.
Mm-hmm.
And it's not that the alcohol catches you, it's the fact that the economy does.
Yes. Okay. I know. Isn't that crazy? It's crazy.
Like, because I just, there's these moments, um, like I want somebody to make your movie of your life.
Mm. Because I feel like there are so many things that you're like waiting for the, for the crescendo, and you're like, oh wait, it's not yet. Wait, we're it was supposed to happen. Like, what do you mean? Like, Nope. Not yet there. It wasn't, it wasn't the moment yet.
No, I had to or left. And, uh, so that, and so now like I'm at home, I'm drinking like a pot and half a coffee a day, a bottle or two of wine at night.
My stomach hurts. I don't understand why my husband's like, I'm a mess. Like my depression's really bad. I don't wanna get outta bed. Like I can barely get outta bed to train the two people I had a week at that point. Mm-hmm. And we were already engaged and he's like, you know, I love you and I know you have a ring on your finger, but I don't wanna live this way.
I can't live this way. And him setting that boundary quietly, I was like, what? And so I called a girlfriend of mine who I had been her manager and now she was in a management position and she had me back at 24 Hour Fitness the next day.
When he said that, what did you hear? Did you hear that he didn't wanna live that way with the depression?
With you not having work? Oh, he's
gonna leave
me. But like, what, what was it about your lifestyle he leave that he was like, I can't do that part.
Yeah, that, that he was gonna leave a hundred percent. He's like, you, I can't, I can't be with this person. And I'm like, I can't be this person anymore.
What was it, this person, I think it's been trying to get to Oh,
laying in bed.
Drunk girl.
Yeah,
it was hot. No, not hot. It's totally over here in my jammies. My jammy jams
not showering for three
days. Yeah, I know. Uh, maybe I still gotta work on that. I had goals for 2019. Um, and you know, he, you know, we met, I was 22 and we met and he has been. He is not like me in the sense of where I get big and crazy when I need a boun.
Like when I'm setting a boundary. Like I'm better at it now, but I would just be so explosive and where he stays really calm. Mm-hmm. And he's expressed to me like he's feeling like that on the inside, but it's not coming out on the outside. And um, there was one time where I got crazy on him and he didn't say anything in the moment, but maybe like an hour later when we're by ourselves, he said, you know, Lora, I don't appreciate you talking to me like that and you will never talk to me like that again.
And I was so blown away that I had taken this really nice person mm-hmm. To this point. And I was like, damn, I gotta change. I can't be this way. Mm-hmm. And he was the first man that I respected to work. 'cause typically I'd be like, oh no, you're cute, but I'm gonna be me. Yeah. And I respected him so much that I, I had to look at myself.
Mm-hmm. And I think. That, that another, like another pivotal moment. I can't be this way. And so, um, he really has taught me to like, bring it down. Mm-hmm. And he, he may or may not say that I have brought it down. I feel like I have considerably. But, um, you know, him having those moments, those quiet moments of this doesn't work for me.
Mm-hmm. Not, he's not trying to change me. He's just saying, this doesn't work for me. Um, I, I had to listen. You know, I really had to listen. And so, um, I went and got that job back and fortunately 'cause I didn't, I left on good terms. Mm-hmm. You know, fortunately I'm not a bridge killer in my job situation.
Yeah. You know, and because I definitely have been that way with friends. Like, if they started doing something I didn't like, I just wouldn't talk to 'em again. Mm-hmm. You know, and I had, that's how I ended up on Facebook. I had a girlfriend in high school. Her and I were super close. She got a boyfriend. I was so jealous.
Like, it was like, I thought we were chicks before dick's. We talked every day. We hung out every day for like three years and then I just stopped returning her phone call. She called me every day for a month. And then when I got on Facebook, I was like, Hey, you know, I did all these things and I'm really sorry.
And she's like, okay. And I had to sit with that, you know, like I didn't deserve that friendship mm-hmm. The way that I ended it. So, you know, those are promises that I make to myself of like, I won't be that person again.
Yeah.
You know? And, um, so I go back to 24 hour, I build my clientele back up. I'm able to pull away from that after a year and a half and have my own, uh, business.
And, um, but meanwhile, like my soul is just dying. Like my drinking is outta control. Um, I hate myself. Like I'm back to that feeling as like I did as a little kid where I wanted to die. Mm-hmm. And I didn't, I didn't have the wherewithal to do it, you know? And, um, Josh and I got into another drunken fight and, um.
It was 4th of July and, uh, we decided to not go on a vacation together. And I just sat at home all day Googling like, um, basically what to do.
Yeah. You
know, and I found a support group and I ended up going And
what did you feel you needed? Was it all about what to do about drinking?
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Because you knew that was the, the bigger issue.
It wasn't the depression, it was rooted in that. Yeah. You knew that already. I,
you know, I just thought I was a bad person, but I knew the alcohol really brought it out. And so that's, that's how I ended up with my search in that regard. Mm-hmm. Um, and then there was a women's meeting that day, and so I had to drink to get there.
And, um, it was like the first time I felt like I was at home.
Yeah.
I was surrounded by women that were just like me.
Mm-hmm.
And, uh, and then from then on, like I just. I, I was like, okay, I, I, this, I think this is it. Mm-hmm. I think this is it. And I lasted for a couple months and then I'm like, oh, you know, I wanna be normal.
I don't want this. And then I just sat on my couch and my cat lady robe, giving my husband like, glary eyes, you know, I hate you. Like, or you know, this is your fault. Um, oh. Because we had started going to marriage counseling, uh, before I got sober because he was the problem and cute. That's cute. Mm-hmm. I know, right?
And she's like, well, I can throw the book, I can throw every book in the planet at you, but until you quit drinking, this is never gonna get better. And I was like, oh, maybe we don't need marriage counseling. So it took me a couple more months to get sober, but
I don't wanna step over a really important thing, which is most people, it's not about giving up the drinking.
It's giving up that feeling of being normal.
I know. Yeah.
Because it's not, when you look at how much alcohol is wrapped into our society, sure. Like, it, it's easier to give up the hard alcohol. Like, we're not going to bars, not going to parties. Oh, I did all that. But there's still the level of, you know, you could go to a church barbecue and there's gonna be hotdog and beer.
Mm-hmm. And you're like, what? Okay. It's everywhere. Like where, where is a place where I can be just like everyone else and there's not that void. Yeah. And how, you know, drinking wine is very common with a meal and like mm-hmm. So, oh yeah. I think it's important to, to sit on that for a second because people talk about sobriety and alcoholism and like, it's not the, not drinking, it's the not wanting to not be normal.
Yeah. That I think is the, a barrier that people have to.
Cross a hundred percent. You know, I didn't leave my house for anything besides a meeting or work for a year. Mm-hmm. I was a mess and like, maybe a couple things, but I couldn't, you know, our marriage got really bad. Mm-hmm. All of my friends are heavy drinkers.
Yeah.
You know, now they have kids and so it's, it's a lot less now, but back then, those are the people that I wanna be with. Mm-hmm. You know, we're wild. We're fun, you know, we know how to be the life of the party and, you know, I. I was just so ashamed. I was so ashamed. You know, like grandparents on both sides.
Alcoholics. I mean, I come from a long line of alcoholism. Mm-hmm. Drug addiction, you know, we all, we kill ourselves with our addictions, you know? Mm-hmm. What from obesity to drugs, to alcohol.
Yeah.
You know? And that's, it's all I knew. And now my best friend and my, uh, like my best friend alcohol and my best friend Cameron, like, she watched me circle the drain and she, I wasn't very nice to her.
And she's like, I don't know what you gotta do to fix you, but I can't be your friend right now. Mm-hmm. And that ripped me in too. I mean, that was a really, that was a really big pivotal point for me. Not Josh and I arguing. 'cause we had been, you know, arguing for a while. It was really her that really made me look at myself and then why we started the marriage counseling and me getting into counseling in the first place.
Because here's this person that's had my back. Mm-hmm. In so many ways. I mean, the first person to have your back, the first person had my back. Mm-hmm. And our relationship was really codependent back then too. And you know, it, we always like, you know. We would co-sign each other's bullshit across the board.
Mm-hmm. And she couldn't do it anymore. Mm-hmm. You know, and that, that was huge. Yeah. You know, I mean, I had to grieve her those first couple years, like, like she died. Mm-hmm. You know, and, um, which now was the best thing, but back then, like, I felt like there was a hole in my heart that could never be replaced.
Well, and it's, it's even a version of yourself. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. I had to grieve that person because there was a part of her that I was still in love with. Mm-hmm. Like the party girl, the, you know, I'm gonna get in everybody's face and I'm, you know. Yeah. That's to a fault. I mean, like, I'm lucky that I didn't get hit.
Like, I mean, I seriously, like, I wanted, you know, that, that man hattery thing that would come out and I would get in men's faces at bars and mm-hmm. Stand up on the booth if I had to, if they were tall. Like, I mean, I just was bananas.
Yeah.
And, you know, I'm lucky. I'm lucky that, you know, I, that the violence was minimal in my drinking and, um, that, uh, I got out.
Relatively unscathed, comparatively, you know? Yeah. It's just a lot of people. And so I decided to go back to that support group because my, my friend needed help. Mm-hmm. And so I can be of service to another person. I'm still a wreck. And it's been, I dunno, four or five months at this point of me sitting on the couch and the cat lady robe, eating all the food, giving my husband dirty looks or, uh, 'cause he's still a problem in my head.
And, um, I was able to hear the message again. Mm-hmm. And so at this point I was like, this is what I need. This is the only thing that makes me feel okay and happy, so I've gotta do this. So I got commitments at all these meetings and I, um, just immersed myself in it. And I started taking women to, um, uh, from, uh, recovery homes to meetings, and, um.
Being of service to them, taking the job interviews or just hanging out. Mm-hmm. And come to find out so many women that I'm in this support group with have sexual trauma. Mm-hmm. Have abuse. Like, you know, I think I have the genetic predisposition to be an alcoholic. The first time I drank, I drank a alcoholically.
Yeah. Like, I, I didn't, it's always like, tell I'm throwing up. Yeah. Till I black out, like no matter what. So that, that hope of drinking like a normal person, like I didn't, I didn't hang onto that for very long. Mm-hmm. Once I got in. 'cause I'm like, that was never my story. Like that. It's just not in me. Like when I thought about the times that I would, um, you know, use again, like, it's like a Tumblr with gin.
Like it's never like something sweet and cute. It's, it's always volatile. So you're not having a
glass of wine over dinner?
No. No. Mm-hmm. Especially wine. It's such a mess to clean up when I would get sick later. So why would I do that to myself? And who drinks white wine? Oh my god, no. Yeah. So, um, hearing so many other women's stories.
And it's my story. Mm-hmm. And I'm seeing myself everywhere and I can be of service to these women. 'cause fortunately I had that voice at 11, so I was comfortable talking about my trauma. Mm-hmm. You know, and where a lot of people weren't or they're having, it's coming back, they didn't know that they'd had it.
Yeah. And now it's happening 'cause they're getting sober and I get to be of service to them and share my story and hold them and love them. And that was the beginning, um, of growing that empowering women in a way that wasn't negative. Mm-hmm. That wasn't like I'm putting men down or other people down because you're either with me or against me.
Yeah. It's like all of us together. Mm-hmm. And, um, that, that was huge. And then about a couple years in, I was having this moment with myself 'cause I, I didn't look at myself. I mean, I work in mirrors are everywhere Yeah. In the gym. And I had stopped looking at myself in mirrors for years. And so finally one day I am like looking at my body and I, and I'm like, it doesn't.
Make me a better person what pants size I wear. It doesn't make me a better person because I, I always have this obsession of wanting to look like a trainer. Mm-hmm. You know, and on so comparatively to Instagram, I don't, and that's okay. Like, I don't, I don't need that validation anymore. Like I. Really thoroughly understanding like what makes what is important to me for a person, for myself and for the people in my life has nothing to do with external.
Um, change my life. Yeah. Change my life. And I, I, I was talking about it earlier, earlier, Ali Owen put a post on her Instagram that said, um. I stopped trying, when I stopped trying to change my body, I decided to change the world or something like that. And that's, and that's
the journal you can get on.
Powerful Ladies. That's our CoLab with her.
Nice. That is awesome. I'm excited. Um, she's a
badass.
She, I, dude, I was listening to her podcast on the way here. I'm like, I love this woman. Mm-hmm. I love this woman. Um, I don't know her and I love her because I get it, I get it. All that self-doubt. And I like that, you know, you guys are talking about like, you don't have to be at an end point.
You can just be in the middle of stuff right now. Mm-hmm. And that's just where your life is at. You know, you're always in the middle of something. Exactly. And, and that you don't have to look or be a certain way to be anything. No. You know, and like, you know, I have a certain way that I like to look if I'm wearing a bathing suit or whatever, but it, it's, that's just like my own preconceived yada, like mm-hmm.
Like, you know, her husband was like, you can work out if you want, but you know, I like you the way that you are. Like, you know, fortunately. My husband feels the same way. And I like that you said, you know, that's like in us as people, like we want our spouses to be attracted to us mm-hmm. Because we're attracted to them.
Mm-hmm. You know, and, you know, not that I quote unquote need the validation of him, but it's in a way, like for the, for our intimacy. Like, I do need that. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And, and likewise, you know, he wants to know that I'm attracted to him because we don't look like we did 15 years ago, you know, 13 years ago whenever we met, you know?
Mm-hmm. And, um, good, good. Yeah. You know, and, uh, because for a long time, like my mantra was fat, disgusting, ugly. I mean, that was just what lived in my brain. Fat, disgusting, ugly. And that stopped that day that I was like, it doesn't matter. Mm-hmm. It just doesn't matter, you know? And so, fortunately that in that moment, I remember looking at myself in the mirror and just being like, it doesn't matter.
And that was another huge pivotal moment of like, I'm just gonna be the best person that I can be. And, you know, as long as I'm being of service to other people. My asshole meter is way down. Mm-hmm. I'm way better of a person and, um, trying to stay connected to that support group and trying not to live in my head because it's a bad neighborhood still.
Like as much work as I've done on myself and I'm really proud of the woman that I'm, that I am. You know, I'm working towards, um, some more education. I'm doing a certification. Um, it's functional Range Systems is the parent company and they have all these different ways that you can go to, to advance your education.
And I've chosen the path of, it's, uh, they call it, um, uh, like soft tissue work. Mm-hmm. It's like it's massage, but like in a more medical
Yep.
Clinical manner. So
who, who are the type of people you would help with that? Um, to give the
listener's perspective, all my clients, everybody comes in with some sort of ache or pain, you know?
Mm-hmm. The majority of my clients are retired, so I do have an older clientele, but my whole career, you know, people come in like, I had a knee surgery two years ago, I get migraines, I have this, this, this. So I've been using my hands to help people move more functionally mm-hmm. To be able to get the job done of whatever their goals are.
So now it just, it's more, you know, I pull out the massage table more and they're, you know, I had a 79-year-old woman text me, love that she text messages. Yes. The other day that she was able to walk all over Catalina with her friends and not feel like she was the weak link of the four of them, you know?
And she's one of, she was, of the four of them, she was the oldest. So, um, that's why I do what I do. Mm-hmm. And I wanna educate myself more so I can be of service more to my clients. And, um, but being in a learning environment, I, I started to feel like I did when I was young. You know, it's been a long time since I've been in that type of learning environment.
A lot of, you know, most of the time it's like a workshop kind of thing. Yeah. And you're moving and you know, in training it's a lot of movement. Excuse me. But we're sitting there and we are listening to somebody and we're sitting there and like, I'm feeling inadequate. Half the people in there have doctor degrees and that's not my story.
Mm-hmm. You know, like the last time I was trying, doing a normal school environment was when I had my math problem, so that went poorly.
Yeah.
Um, and I just feeling really insecure, really inferior to these people in here. And, um, I mean, it really almost took me down. Like it was, I was ready to like, stop doing what I do, give my business away and like move into a trash can.
Mm-hmm. Like, I was just so insecure and I haven't felt like that in so long that it's like, wow, okay, I still have to work through this. And, um, but there's something in me that still feels like I'm moving in the right direction with this company, with this organization. And so I'm going to continue to do so.
And. It showed me what I'm lacking and what I need to move towards.
Mm-hmm.
But man, like, it, it really, it rocked my world.
I'm, I'm sorry that you're, you got those emotions back, but I think it's so amazing to discover what's still left for you to take on.
Yeah.
Because, you know, when you look at the complexities of all the layers of your personal story, if you had to deal with all them at once, like it would be impossible for any human Absolutely.
To, no one can do it, whatever your story is, and to know that you've taken on these steps and now you're getting to go through these, like, I really believe that everyone has different seasons in their life, like, because of that. Mm-hmm. It's, and things show up differently. Like you said, you and your husband don't look the same.
You're also not mentally the same people either. Right. Mentally, emotionally, spiritual. Right. So everyone keeps evolving and so things are gonna come up different and again, and. It's crazy to me that you, things can feel fine in one area and then you're like on top of the world and then something happens and you're like, huh.
Totally. I thought we were done with that. I
dammit. Oh, that's, that's the worst. Like I thought I worked through this. Yeah. When I got sober and all my sexual trauma came back, my husband was like, I thought you worked through this. I'm like, so did I. Yeah. So did I, I mean, I was blindsided. Mm-hmm. But for fortunately, quote unquote, um, it opened up the opportunity for a level of intimacy with women in these support groups that I wouldn't have had otherwise.
Mm-hmm. Which enabled me to have appropriate intimacy with my husband. Mm-hmm. You know, my girlfriend Cameron, she's back in my life. Like we have the most amazing friendship. Yeah. Like, I have, you know, these women that I work with and program, um, meeting Brie. Oh my God. Yeah. Like the intimacy that I get to have because I'm not ran by ego mm-hmm.
In that department. I mean, my ego's huge, but like in that department, when I say like another. Powerful woman. Yeah. Like you just feel like I love you. Mm-hmm. And we're like, you know, it's, it's incredible. And I can just be me and little baby Lora comes out and plays and we're like having a great all the time.
Yes. It's
wonderful. So the Brie that we both love, um, she is episode four, so if anybody wants to go back and check out Brie Osa and hear her story, um, we're definitely gonna have her on again as well, because we ran to like the two hour mark and I'm like, you gotta go. We've got more people coming. Um, but no, we both love her.
I think for the same reasons because she's so committed to her personal self-development mm-hmm. And everybody else's like, being of service is so important to her and she's naturally such a, a consistent listener.
Oh yeah. That's a beautiful Yes.
Right. Yeah. And. I what I love about being with around the two of you.
Mm-hmm. And like, I'm gonna throw Caroline in there too. 'cause it's like, oh, she does. It's been like when we're all, is she gonna be
on here too?
I hope so. Oh, we keep playing phone tech. All right. We'll make it happen. Yeah. She's amazing. I'll
just drive her down here now. I know how to get here.
Um, but she, like, when we're all together, I feel like the awesome version myself from when I was eight.
And I, I brought this up a couple times in the podcast because I really feel like they're that child's version of you that's like the good version.
Mm-hmm.
Not the spoiled version, like demanding things, but there's something beautiful about the person that you were then. Mm-hmm. And the expectations and the possibilities and being tuned into what you as an individual really care about versus all the influences you have.
Mm-hmm. Like when that person gets to. Come out and, and to your point, play, like that's when I'm like, yes. Mm-hmm. Like, we are doing what we're supposed to do. Yeah. Because it, it, there's no other, it's just joy. Mm-hmm. Right. Like it's weird to be able to work out mm-hmm. And not be able to do the workout because you're laughing too hard and like want to do it, like mm-hmm.
It's, we could just get to be ourselves and I really appreciate that and that's why I value you guys and you and, um, I wish more people had the opportunity to do that. Like, to be silly and innocent. And
that's what I love about my space, like mm-hmm. You know, my business partner and I, and I met him at the gym we were at prior to opening this one, is that's why we have plants in the front and a couch and like we wanted it to be.
A non-intimidating environment mm-hmm. That you do. You come in, you play, you do what you gotta do and just feel love and love to do it because the gym is such an intimidating environment. Mm-hmm. Such an intimidating environment. And I would say 80% of my clientele that I have currently would not step foot in a box gym.
I wouldn't get to know them otherwise. Mm-hmm. If it wasn't for this facility, you know? Yeah. It's a gift. It's a gift.
Yeah. And you've done a great job of making that place feel awesome.
Thank you. Mm-hmm. Thank you. Yeah. My partner, he's, he's, uh, he's an ally and, uh, he's just a. Great man.
Yeah.
He's just a great man.
And um, you know, my husband is super grateful because Chris can do anything. My partner can do, fix and do anything. 'cause Josh is like, I know that it would be me doing that if he didn't have all that going on, you know? And, uh, you know, he makes people feel good. Like my, like he knows everybody's client's names.
He's way better at that than I am. Like, I'm like, Hey hun. I'm like, what's her name again? And he just knows, like, he's just, he's great and like, he just creates that comfortable space. Mm-hmm. You know, which is important for me, you know, obviously. And I just, I feel really blessed that, that I get to have a business with him and that he's, um, that he is who he is, you know?
How did, how did you guys find each other and when did you decide to go back into having your own
sex? So when I, uh, when I got sober, I was, which was when? This was, uh, July, 2012. Uh, July 6th, and my first meeting was July 5th, and then my first day without a drink was July 6th. So, um, congratulations, by the way.
Thank you. Pat myself back and, um. My biggest fear was that I wouldn't be funny. And now I think I'm hilarious.
Well, and and, and honestly, I, I think that's important also to, to pause on too, because you are, I almost feel like the version of you that I get to meet. 'cause I, I have only known you sober is like the most self-expressed version of you.
Hmm.
Thank you. Like I, in my head, the whatever, whoever you thought you were before, funny or entertaining, I'm like, was that you or was that th alcohol? Mm-hmm. Or like, now I know like, nope, it's just her and that's real and that's awesome and I'm gonna pee my pants laughing. So we have to like to have a time out.
And I think it's, I think that's really important for people who. Who being, um, entertaining is important to know that no, it's really you and it's not gonna go away. Yeah.
It was, it was huge for me to get to that place because that was my biggest fear. I mean, I had, I had to quit drinking, so I, it was like, I guess this is the sacrifice I'm making, you know, but now it's like I'm funny and way less angry.
So I, I would say it's an extra bonus that there's not like, like a little string of rage that just ran through everything. Mm-hmm. That, um, now just, you know, is way more down there. Yeah. Not that it can't be accessed, but it's not, um, it's definitely not just like ready to
Yeah.
You know? So I thank you for that because that's that.
I would say is the most important thing to me. Mm-hmm. Because of, because what laughter means to me. Mm-hmm. You know? And so to have that in a, in a space where it's accepted because in the learning environment there was no playful extravaganza. Yeah. There was no laughing. And I'm like, but
there should be, shouldn't there?
I think so. I was fighting so hard for her. There was not accepted, but like, I, yeah. It was my fa even I, I'm, I was and still am a nerd, right? Mm-hmm. So I operate very well in those structured learning environments. Ah. Even though like, yeah, I wasn't a goodie two shoes in the same sense, but I'm good at just doing the work, right?
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And my most favorite learning experiences have been when they've been all encompassing. Mm-hmm. When it's not like, sit there and just do the work and listen to us and do the test. 'cause you're not engaging, like it's not real life. Mm-hmm. Like, I, it makes me crazy that we teach anything that's not in a real life.
Environment.
Totally. I mean, it probably, I mean, I wouldn't have, I don't know that I would've felt as stupid as I did, but honestly, like when coming from a traumatic, coming from trauma mm-hmm. And like not knowing if you're gonna have food tomorrow and all those things, like, I don't know that I would've been able to focus in any learning environment.
No. It's the hierarchy of needs. It's just, yeah. So I just,
how, how does coming from that environment. Make you think about like, kids and education and, and like, has it changed how you view kids in general and like what's still happening? Oh, a hundred percent.
Mm-hmm. A hundred percent. Like, you know, I definitely, you know, we do a lot of stuff for the Boys and Girls Club at the gym.
Mm-hmm. You know, we, we get gifts for families that can't afford gifts for their families. And, um, you know, we get several families and so, 'cause our, the people that work out at my gym are so generous. Mm-hmm. And so we've been able to all, most of the time they're just asking for their needs. Socks, underwear, jackets, pants, toothbrush, toothbrush.
Mm-hmm. Like that kind of stuff. And, you know, I was one of those kids and, you know, free, free breakfast, free lunch, and, you know, when the government shutdown was happening, like, I'm calling the Boys and Girls Club, like, what are we gonna do?
Mm-hmm.
You know, do, and at that point, like it wasn't dire, so,
yeah.
But, uh, I wanna make sure these kids are being fed. Mm-hmm. Like, this is awful. Like, it's such a stressful feeling, you know, my sister has such a vivid memory of, you know, going to kindergarten or first grade very young and thinking I'm not gonna have food. And, you know, I knew at some point that they wouldn't, they would just give you a peanut butter jelly sandwich, like if, if things were paid for or whatever.
Mm-hmm. Because my mom didn't like to fill out the paperwork every year, um, to show our income so that we qualified. And so there's this like week where she didn't think she was gonna be able to have food, but the schools passed a thing like no kid without lunch. So like, even though you didn't have the money or whatever, they would still give you something.
Mm-hmm. And so I didn't have the, as big of a fear as she did. And she just recently told me about this. I had no idea. Um, and so having those experiences in my head when I see that, it's like I feel the need to, like, what can I do? Mm-hmm. What can I do? And, but I also have a thing where my partner likes to go and like be Santa Claus and go to the families and meet them and love on them.
And it's this awesome experience where I can't do that. Mm-hmm. Because I don't want to see why they're in the situation that they're in. Yeah. Because I don't know that I can go at it. Um. Without judgment.
Yeah.
Because I know why we were in the position, like we always had, we always had drugs in the house.
We always had alcohol in the house. My mom always had her gambling stuff, but yet we're not gonna, we might lose the house, the house, the trailer. Mm-hmm. We might lose, um, we might not be able to eat. I mean, these are the things that she would say like, oh, we're not gonna be able to have food, or we're not gonna be able to have this.
But I always saw the drugs and the alcohol and the lottery. I always saw those things. Mm-hmm. And so I don't wanna be put in a position to like, judge Yeah. You know, and I know my limitations and maybe that will change. So, um, I try to like just give silently. Yeah. So that I can, I can feel good about it and not, you know, and I, I just don't, I don't wanna be triggered in that way, I guess.
I think there's an opportunity for you to, 'cause give all that love you have to the kids maybe in a situation where it's like just kids and not the families. Mm-hmm. Because I totally understand what you're saying and knowing that. You like, you are such a mama bear. Mm-hmm. That I don't think I'd wanna put parents who are making bad choices in front of you either.
Sure. For, for, yeah. Because not that you couldn't handle it, but, and I think there are people that get in those positions
and it's real. Yes. Life is hard. Yes. You know, like, especially living where we live, it is so expensive. Like, I make okay money, but if I had two or three children to raise and something had happened to my husband, I would need services.
Mm-hmm. I would need help. Mm-hmm. And that's what they're for. And you know, so I'm definitely pro services and Yes. Um, I, I think, uh, for the children, you know, I think it's really important and, you know, I, I don't, and I, so they're important and I, I just don't, I don't want to know anything other than that.
Yeah. And, and I think that's a really noble place to come from. 'cause a lot of people don't want to give or have services available because. They think that they're enabling bad choices. Mm-hmm. And you're so right, that there are just some people that it's, it's, um, they, they've made choices that may not have been illegal choices or bad life choices, but they made maybe not a smart choice about something.
Mm-hmm. And they're still there. Yeah. And to your point, like everyone in the family gets impacted. Yeah. I'm
so fortunate that my brain works the way that it does and that I've been able to move forward mm-hmm. And not stay in the generation of welfare and food stamps, you know, 'cause I have, I do have, I have two sisters that have received services.
Mm-hmm. Um, you know, and one sister that has been able to, you know, not, and work a job that has kept her from being able to, you know mm-hmm. That has been, been fortunate for her to, you know, provide for her family. And, um, you know, I luck of the draw. You know, I mean that my brain works the way that it does, and that's not the case for everybody.
Well, and I think for all of us, the people who have come into our lives that have given us an opportunity and guidance mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And just support. Yeah. I mean, we're lucky to come from a great family, and I still know that I have been so fortunate to have non-family members that have come across my path mm-hmm.
To help do the something else. Right?
Yeah, definitely. Definitely. I mean, there's, you know, I had a few adults in my life that, um, were just kind. Mm-hmm. You know, the parent, the, that boyfriend that I was obsessed with, his mother, you know, she, hi, she, she was an angel for me. Mm-hmm. You know, my best friend's mom, you know, she, especially after she met my mother was like, anytime Lora needs to come over, she's, she's welcome.
Yeah. And
so every Friday, Saturday night, she always made sure there was enough food for me too. Mm-hmm. You know, let you know when my dad would be in, in and outta the hospital because of health issues. You know, he is a type one diabetic and didn't take care of himself. She was like, Hey, you know, you call Lora, you know, they had moved to Chino Hills.
You call Lora. If she needed to come down here, she can come down here.
Mm-hmm.
And she never really talked to me about it. She's a quiet lady.
Yeah.
But like, I always knew like that I could go there. Mm-hmm. That I had a place there. Mm-hmm. And like, that's huge. Huge. Yeah. You know, because I never felt like I belonged.
You know, my stepmom, when she was done dealing with me, she'd be like, go back to your house. You know? Even though when I was being good, I was like, well, this is your house too.
Yeah.
You know, and then my mom wanting me to be at my dad's on the weekends, because I was such a hard child deal with, she would say.
So whatever they were doing that weekend, they didn't wanna have to take care of me, so I never felt like I belonged. Mm-hmm. You know? And so that place of belonging is so important to me. Yeah. You know, that I like, it goes back to the gym. I know that it's intimidating. I know that it's uncomfortable, but what can I do to make you feel safe there?
Yeah.
Because. You're gonna get whatever you need. Mm-hmm. You know, physically, obviously. Yeah. And, you know, so I mean, that's, that's definitely my, my, like, that's it. That's why I do what I do. And you know, we've had the gym for five and a half years now, and it's, it's amazing. You know, I would love to have a couple more trainers that, you know, that where wherever they're at isn't suiting them and they want to come and join, you know, our family.
Because I think that there's not enough spaces like our space. Mm-hmm. And um. That's, you know, unfortunately I got to meet, you know, Brie of episode four, um, because we needed more trainers and I knew somebody that knew a guy named Adam. Mm-hmm. He came in, I was like, who do you wanna work with? He's like, I wanna work with Brie.
So they came over. Yeah. And, you know, we started to build, you know what it is now, you know, with my partner and we have a few other trainers there too, that like, that's our whole goal Yeah. Is like, you know, what can we be for these people?
You, you guys make me wanna become a personal trainer. And I don't think I would be good at it, but, but it is, it's like there's, um, when you get to create a family that you work with every day, it makes a big difference.
Yeah. It is a family. I mean, if I'm having like a thing and like I can just walk like a feeling I'm triggered. My grandma works out at my gym with Brie in fact. And sometimes just looking at her is kind of triggering. Mm-hmm. And um, she and I can just, Hey, I just need a hug right now. Yeah. No explanation.
No nothing. She'll just hug me. You know? Hugs were limited growing up. Like very limited. And I'm such an affectionate person to think like, I think God, how, how hard must that have have been? You know, I, I don't even have like a recall.
They say you need six hugs a day.
I
get so for optimal mental health, I believe that.
Oh, well. And Jo down here, Jordan was saying, oh, she gets zero, which we're gonna work on. We're gonna work on that. But when, um, these arms, I'm stretching. Oh girl, you don't even know what's gonna happen yet. It was, my dad is adorable, our dad, and when she was living with us, my dad would text me and be like, did you give Jordan her hug today?
Oh my God. Mm-hmm. Your dad is my spirit animal. Oh,
you? Yeah. Oh my gosh. We could just hug each other. And he's, it's funny. Where does he live? Right now? They live in Kentucky, but they're, it's too far to drive. We're moving them over here.
Mm-hmm. Okay, good.
Um, but it's funny 'cause like you don't, my dad doesn't occur to me as like a touchy feely guy.
Like he d he does give great hugs and he's always like, hugs you goodbye and hello. And sometimes he'll just hug you 'cause he wants to hug you. Mm-hmm. But it's not like. There's some men that are just very touchy. Mm-hmm. He's not like that. Sure. And so for him to like, be like, make sure these hugs are happening.
And I'm like, dad, I love you. That's amazing.
Like, that would never, like, my grandma started hugging me like 10 years ago. Mm-hmm. And I was like, Ugh. Like I went rigid it, like, and she has, uh, she'll never listen to this. She has like the little old lady El LOEs, she's like, coming at you. And she started mouth kissing, which horrified my husband because he does not come from an affectionate family either.
So they're like, I'm cone for you. And you're like, I don't know. I can get away from it. I don't know what to do. But it's so, it's, it's more comfortable now, but like, it it was very awkward.
Yeah. '
cause our family did not hug.
Yeah.
And to just have this arthritic lady just, oh, it's happening. You know?
Well, I'm, I'm just really glad that, um, you have become the antithesis to what your family is on so many levels.
Yeah. Thank you for being that human. Thank you. It feels good to be that human. One of the things we ask all of our guests mm-hmm. Is where do you put yourself on the powerful lady scale? Zero being normal. Average human, 10 being powerful, lady.
So I knew you were gonna ask this question. Mm-hmm. I was hoping we'd run so long that you'd forget.
Mm-hmm.
Um, I, that last weekend really rocked my world. Yeah. I feel like I'm operating like a 6.57, like, that's so high. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Because I mean, nothing will be what it used to be, but like I was, I was at a pretty good nine for a while. Mm-hmm. I was feeling like. I got a cape on. Life is good. Yeah.
And like, but you know, I don't like change and I gotta grow and change and so I'm just in it right now. Mm-hmm. And just making sure that I'm, you know, I heard early on in my sobriety, like, go where the love is. Yeah. And like, that's why I'm here, you know? 'cause I feel like you're so amazing that like, I'm just like, I'm gonna, I gotta do it.
'cause she's amazing. So it'll at least feel good to be in the same room.
Yes.
You know? And just like hunting down anybody that makes me feel loved.
The biggest things that I've learned is about the scale. If, if no one else can measure it the same way, it's not real. It's part of your story. Mm-hmm. And being smart is on that story.
Like he like loving someone's on that story. So unless it's your height. Mm-hmm. And even that I guess you could say is questionable metrics versus not, you know, imperial system. But when you realize it's all a scale and you are the person who decided where on that scale you fall
mm-hmm.
You get all your power back.
Yeah. You're like, am I smart or not smart? And you're like, hold on, I'm in a room full of doctors. This just means I'm pretty smart moving up the scale. Oh my God, I didn't even consider it that way. Right. Oh my god. Uh, no, but really, like we, there's a, um, um, amazing woman Marelle, who's also been, uh, on the podcast.
I don't know what episode it is right now. We'll add it in the show notes. But she, um, never went to college and became a public speaker.
Mm.
And. She felt like she was living a life for so long because yeah. No one knew that she didn't have a degree and she was helping all these executives at big companies
mm-hmm.
Like figure out their shit.
Right.
And one day she had a speaking engagement and says like, I only have a high school degree.
Mm-hmm.
And she was like, all right, this is where my career ends. This is it.
Yeah.
And it changed her career. And the other way all these people came up and they were like, oh my God, if you can do that with just this.
And like, you opened this up and she's, she had a line of people waiting to talk to her
afterwards. Oh my God. That like, brings tears in my eyes. 'cause that's definitely, like, that's a big thing. Like, yeah. I don't think it will advance my career to go at this point, you know, of my age and, and all that. But like, and I have no desire to sit in a room and have somebody talk at me for hours.
Yeah. Let's be honest. Um, but like that's, that's incredible. Mm-hmm. You know, and I have not felt insecure about that in a really long time. But last weekend. Definitely brought that up for me,
but it's, it's, but really though, like you're hanging out in a room full of doctors. That's Yeah. Valid.
Mm-hmm.
Valid.
I did not, that did not even like click. Not even a little bit. Yeah. That's a good point.
Yeah, that's a good point. You're such a badass that you're like, I don't need to go to school for 12 years. I can just show up right next to you. Crazy bastards. Yeah. Just kidding. Let's talk about how much fun I've been having while you've been in school.
My gym has an orchid. What are you doing
with your life?
Yeah. Probably nothing. Like, let's be honest,
very bored, very
boring life. Yeah. But that's a great thing to ask everybody. Imagine if you just went back and your game was figuring out if they also have an orchid.
Oh my gosh. Be amazing. It would take me three days.
These
people shut down. I
think everybody was scared.
Yeah. Well, that's, think about it that way. If, if you have the title, these titles add weight. So you can't be the doctor in there that's asking the dumb questions because you always gotta be
smart. Totally. The teacher at some point was like, hello. It's disconcerting when people are not giving me feedback because I gave all kind of like mm-hmm.
And feedback and question on the first day, but then I'm like the only person talking, so I also don't want to be the only person talking. That's annoying. So then I like shut it down and then by the last day he's like, I need some feedback here. I'm like, see? No, I'm kidding. Just kidding. I did not do that.
But I'm like, okay. Like, 'cause that's what I would want, you know, in the speaking environments that I've been in when my first being my dad's funeral, weird. Oh. But I got a lot of laughs. It was very important to me. I'm not surprised by that. Um, but it, you want that, you want that back. So then I just felt like I was speaking outta turn.
But then on the Sunday he's like, hello? Like, see, like, come on guys. And so that's like the only thing that makes me think like maybe that, 'cause it's, the information is different. From prior information. Yeah. For everybody.
It's new.
Yeah.
That's why you go to school. Uh, valid. Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, just I think everybody wants everyone to show up as their big, awesome self.
So just show up as powerful lady.
Yeah.
Obviously you have a big life.
Mm-hmm.
What do you do on a regular basis to be operating at your best? I need to
nap. Mm-hmm. I like to do a lot of nothing on Saturday. I meet with Cameron, we spin. Mm-hmm. I like to spin 'cause I'm attached to the bicycle, indoors. I open a gym to not teach in grass.
People ask me to teach bootcamps. I'm like, absolutely not. Here's 11 other people that will uhhuh. Um, and then we work out and then I feel like I've earned my nap and then I just hide it is my favorite thing in the world. Nap. Um, and very important to me. My husband, I think, used to think I was super lazy.
'cause he's also a workaholic, so he's like, how could you spend this time doing nothing? I'm like, I just trained 45 people this week. Um, or 47. It's
very emotional draining. It's a lot. Mm-hmm. It,
it's a lot. Like I don't, I drive home in silence. I don't talk at nighttime. Mm-hmm. Like he's the talker. Uh, 'cause I'm just no more.
Well you, it's not just helping people with their bodies, but it's like being in a hair salon where everyone shares their stories mm-hmm. And you know their whole life and you're just as engaged and invested and you're also trying to motivate everybody and Yeah. A hundred percent. It's a lot.
And I love it, but it, it can be definitely.
Mm-hmm. And so I love that. Um, I love food a lot. So like, finding new places to eat. I love like, thank God for the spice trade. Yes. Like, can we talk about that? Yes. Like how amazing that is because. I would be eating nothing besides sausage and potatoes. Mm-hmm. I'm German and Irish, hence the drinking problem.
And with like 5% Italian and, um, I loved, I mean like I found a new Indian food place like mm-hmm. I just, I love food, so going to a new restaurant that tastes amazing, like feeds my soul and I don't have to eat it out of anything's neck is amazing. So that's, that's, uh, those are my favorites. I would say food and napping other than like laughing and hanging out with my favorite people.
Yeah. Like I get to do so much of that, uh, you know, in life in general, but like napping and food.
Mm-hmm. Yeah. When you are in a valley, which can happen in a, like in a minute, in an hour a day
mm-hmm.
What do you do to get yourself out of it?
I go to a meeting. Mm-hmm. I go to a meeting for sure because, um, my husband is incredible.
But I can't hear his incredibleness when I'm in my head. Mm-hmm. And, um, I need a meeting. I need to hear what other people are going through. Um, I, I will call the women that I work with in program. I will. Um, but typically, like I, I go to a meeting and my podcasts, you know, I live, I love my podcast. I'm a junkie.
Mm-hmm. Anything comedy, anything like any standup comedy? Yep. Um, I just, what are some of your favorites? Oh my goodness. Uh, ally Wong, like this year, this last year, ally Wong, she blew outta the park. She's hilarious. Um, I love, I love Joe Rogan. Mm-hmm. I love, um, bill Burr. I love I, Greg Gilbert. Oh my gosh.
He's, I got to see him. I mean,
that's love right there,
right there. I know. 'cause he likes it, but it's not like his favorite thing. Mm-hmm. So I was like, oh my God.
What?
Um, Greg Fitzsimmons, um, I love. Who have I? Hmm. I'm like, I can just, John Mullaney. Oh my gosh. John Malaney and Nick Kroll. Oh my gosh. Have you seen Big mouth Life changing?
Oh my God. I am the hormone Mons.
But this is what we were talking about. Can that be
in, can I talk about the hormone Mons? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, but this is what you and Brie were telling me when I had that one day off in the past six months. You guys were like, go home. Do not do anything and watch Big Mouth.
Yes. Did you? And I texted you guys because I was like, oh, that's totally failed. I started working again. Sorry. Yeah.
So you have to, oh my gosh, I'm the ho hormone monstrous. She's, she's like, oh, I try to like imitate her breath and it imitate her voice a little bit and she's, you know, she's. Telling you like, what not to do with your parents.
And don't leave me with shit. Show Shannon and ugh. And I try to talk like her at home because I think, I can't think of her first name right now. Um, it starts with an a say. I forget who the monstrous is, but I know Maya Rudolph does The Voice. It's her. Yeah. Maya Rudolph. She's Maya Rudolph. Yeah, she's, yeah.
It's Maya Rudolph. Yeah. I love her. She's hilarious. Oh my God. She blew my mind in, uh, bridesmaids. She can, it's happening. Like I can't, she, I just, oh, I love her. I like Wanda Sykes. Um, I thought, uh, Ellen's last one was great. Um, I just, I love when women, oh my gosh. Uh, Lisa Lampanelli, the grosser the better.
I love her. She just, when she, her poor ex-husband, big ball Tony, like, I just, I love like graphic. Mm-hmm. Dirty women that I just love it. Mm-hmm. It just, it kills me. 'cause that was everything. I was, my grandma tried to nip that in the butt. I'm like, I can't, I can't do it. Um. And I, I just, I just love loud funny people that just, just put it out there.
Mm-hmm. You know, I'm definitely on the, not apologizing for your humor bandwagon because I just, it's just, you know, I love it. Ju up a towel. I thought he blew it outta the park with his, I, you know, I just, I love it. I love it. All of it. I could just keep babbling about standup comedy
for women who are currently dealing with some of the dark things that you've dealt with, whether it's, um, abuse or drugs or alcohol or in a, in a trauma.
What would you, what, what do you want them to know? Being on the other side,
it's always worth the fight if you not alone, number one, not alone. Don't do it alone. I'm a strong believer if you can't fix what's broken with what's broken, and when your brain is not operate operating at its finest, um, all we can see is the dark side.
Mm-hmm. You know? So whatever support group that is appropriate for your issue, um, you keep going to them until you find one where you feel safe. Um, and you don't have to be alone. Um, there, there is a lot out there. We just have to be willing to walk in those doors or there's a lot online. There's phones.
I mean, there's, all of that exists. Um, and find your, your pack. Your pack. Mm-hmm. You know, I joke, the women that I work with, they make fun of me. 'cause they, they, you know, they're like, oh, Lora and her lady pack. But that's important to me. Mm-hmm. My lady pack because without the strength of the women I that did it before me, I would not be the woman I am today.
You know? Yep. Trust the process and it's always worth it for me. For me, it was worth it.
Yeah. What, what, what surprises you about your life today?
Uh, that I'm loved.
Yeah.
You know, and I think back, you know, all my little stuffed animals, and I just wanted to be loved. Mm-hmm. I just wanted to feel safe. I get to feel safe today, um, yeah.
That I get, and I get to love so many people. Mm-hmm. Like genuinely.
Mm-hmm.
You know? Yeah.
Yeah. There's no doubt. I, I mean you on a scale of genuine, I think you're off the charts, so,
oh, I thank you.
You're welcome. Um, and then for women who are, or listeners, not just women, but listeners who are interested in owning their own gym mm-hmm.
And, and creating that space like you've described, how do they start?
That's a lot. Um, you know, fortunately for me, um, I wanted to, um. I had started to become a really aggressive, safer, at a young age because I was so afraid to like be poor. Mm-hmm. Um, and so I had the money when I was going into it. Um, I would say make sure you have a clientele.
Make sure you have income already when you're going into it, because, you know, walk in business is very, like, it's rough. Mm-hmm. I'm like, unless you're a coffee shop, like nobody's walking, you know, I feel like you have, that's, that's a word of mouth thing you have to trust. People want trust already. So like, building a reputation that's not like, you know, your butt on Instagram.
Mm-hmm. Because that doesn't translate into money. Yep. So I'm told my butt is not on Instagram, but, um, it's too pale. It's too pale. It's too pale. It's the color of milk. But, um, you're in good company, so Yes. Oh yes, I am my milk sisters. It's the first thing I thought of actually when I walked in the door.
I was like, my milk sisters. Um, so, um. I think I would say that like, make sure that, you know, you, you have some sort of income coming in and that's like me coming from a fear place mm-hmm. Of not being able to feed, feed myself. Mm-hmm. And I knew that, um, I needed a business partner. It was something that I couldn't do on my own because there are so many things that I lack and he has all of those things.
Mm-hmm. So, um, it just depends on like where you're coming from and just starting a business in general, knowing that it's all gonna be there tomorrow.
Yeah. You
have to set boundaries with yourself of how much you're willing to work in a day, because everything you're putting into your business are the things that you're taking out, you know, on your regular life.
And obviously when you first start it, it has to be your life. Mm-hmm. But like, eventually, like learning those boundaries and like, you know, setting time for yourself and for your family
Yeah.
Is super important.
Anything else that you wanna tell our listeners about what you're up to or what you're excited about for the future?
Um, just, I mean, finishing out all the education that I paid for, um, and keeping my ego aside and I will grow and be a bigger person this year whether I want to be or not. I'm just kidding. Um, yeah. Like hopefully that like I can get more of this under my belt and, and feel the confidence that I should feel in this environment.
Mm-hmm. Like not to should all over myself, but, you know, like to, to not have the insecurities around education that I've had.
Yeah. I think it's a huge opportunity for you to get that confidence and have that breakthrough.
Yeah.
Because yeah, I'm, I'm a firm believer that you can do anything. Like you are a powerful lady.
You've always been that way.
Thank you.
And it's important that powerful ladies feel powerful in every area that they don't.
Yeah.
So I'm excited for you to take that on and Yeah. Get it back.
Thank you.
And show those doctors who really has the power
at these thumbs. I've, I've, by the end of this year, I want like a cap and gown for each one of these thumbs.
Yeah. We can make that happen.
Oh, that's right. 'cause I'm with other powerful ladies.
Yeah. Well, thank you so much for sharing your story, for being a guest, for being a yes for me and my life, and I'm just so honored that, um, yeah. That, that you're a yes to being a powerful lady. And, and let me be in your lady pack.
Yeah, I do. I got a good lady
pack. Thank you.
The path that Lora's life has taken is equal parts proof and miracles. Proof that you have guardian angels and proof that you can change your life at any moment and in an instant. I hope that this episode gives you perspective of what is possible to overcome, that the life you dream of, that you might think is too far away or too good for you or too unrealistic.
Is actually possible and can be yours. I respect Lora not only for what she's gone through, that she continues to take on the evolution of who she is and does it with so much joy, happiness, and love for everyone whose path she crosses. To connect with support Lora or find out how you can work at her gym, you can follow her on Instagram at exercise with Lora or email her exercise with Lora@gmail.com.
If you'd like to support the work that we're doing here at Powerful Ladies, there's a couple of ways you can do that. Subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play, or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Leave a review on any of these platforms. Share the show with all the powerful ladies and gentlemen in your life.
Join our Patreon account. Check out the website, the powerful ladies.com to hear more inspiring stories. Get practical tools to be your most powerful. Get 15% off your first order in The Powerful Ladies Shop, or donate to the Powerful Ladies one Day of Giving campaign. And of course, follow us on Instagram at Powerful Ladies for show notes and to get the links to the books, podcasts, and people we talk about.
Go to the powerful ladies.com. I'd like to thank our producer, composer, and audio engineer Jordan Duffy. She's one of the first female audio engineers in the podcasting world, if not the first. And she also happens to be the best. We're very lucky to have her. She's a powerful lady in her own right, in addition to taking over the podcasting world.
She's a singer songwriter working on our next album, and she's one of my sisters. So it's amazing to be creating this with her and I'm so thankful that she finds time. In her crazy busy schedule to make this happen. It's a testament to her belief in what we're creating through Powerful Ladies, and I'm honored that she shares my vision.
Thank you all so much for listening. We'll be back next week with a brand new episode. I can't wait for you to hear it. Until then, I hope you're taking on being powerful in your life. Go be awesome and up to something you love.
This episode is brought to you by Income School and their Project 24. Project 24 is the course load that Income School puts together to teach you how to monetize your website, to replace your income in two years or less. This is a huge opportunity for all of you looking for your side hustles to figure out how to monetize your passion projects and the things that you care about.
This is the online course to take. They give you so many different lessons. They even include a 60 step checklist to take you from zero to replacing your income. Everything from how to write blog articles that are effective for SEO search, how to create your first YouTube, um, videos, and how to link them back to really build a community that we're all talking and connecting with.
And also when's the right time to add in affiliate links and to monetize all these different assets that you have. We're doing it at Powerful Ladies because we gotta make money right to support all the amazing content that we're creating for you guys. And this program has been a game changer for us. I would love to hear what you guys think.
Take the course, like figure out how we can build amazing, uh, platforms together. If you go to powerful a.com, you'll see a button for Income school, um, on our website. You can find it there, or you can go directly to income school.com/ 3 2 5 6 slash p 24 for project 24.

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Follow her on Instagram @exercisewithlora

Email her at Exercisewithlora@gmail.com

Created and hosted by Kara Duffy
Audio Engineering & Editing by Jordan Duffy
Production by Amanda Kass
Graphic design by Anna Olinova
Music by Joakim Karud

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