Episode 245: The Power of Relationships to Change the World | Jean Oelwang | President Virgin Unite, Co-Founder Plus Wonder, Author of Partnering
Jean Oelwang has spent her life exploring how curiosity, connection, and partnerships drive real change. As President of Virgin Unite, Co-Founder of Plus Wonder, and author of Partnering, she’s worked with global leaders like Nelson Mandela and Desmond Tutu while building networks that tackle issues from climate change to social justice. In this episode of the Powerful Ladies Podcast, Jean shares how a meandering career path full of pivots led her to purposeful leadership, the power of deep relationships, and the need for a radical reset in how we work together. Kara and Jean talk about the importance of meaningful partnerships, how to build a life around impact, and why reimagining relationships is key to solving today’s biggest challenges. Whether you're craving more purpose, connection, or clarity about your next step, this conversation is a reminder that your relationships might just be your most powerful tool.
“Being curious is one of the most important skills we can have. Being curious is what leads to new connections, new opportunities, finding & fulfilling our purpose and the depth of our connections.”
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Follow along using the Transcript
Chapters:
(00:01:55) What Jean Oelwang Does and How She Got Here
(00:06:00) Radical Career Pivots and Following Your Heart Path
(00:10:00) The Role of Curiosity and Deep Listening in Building Relationships
(00:14:00) Networking vs. Connection: Rebuilding Community and Trust
(00:18:00) Why Plus Wonder Exists and What the Book Partnering Reveals
(00:21:00) Six Degrees of Connection and the Power of Purpose
(00:26:00) Lessons from Her Father and the Real Definition of Impact
(00:29:00) Planetary Boundaries, Collaboration, and Systems Change
(00:33:00) What We Get Wrong About Purpose and Legacy
(00:38:00) Rituals That Strengthen Partnerships (and Her Favorites)
(00:42:00) How You Can Get Involved with Plus Wonder and Planetary Guardians
Follow your heart path and don't listen to all the people that are gonna put guardrails around you and try to lock you into a path that maybe they had. Um, but maybe that's not the right one for you. And you know, maybe we need to open our minds as individuals so that we can have experiences across sector so we can understand each other.
There.
That's Jean Oelwang. I'm Kara Duffy, and this is The Powerful Ladies podcast.
Welcome to the Powerful Ladies Podcast.
Thank you Kara, an honor to be here with you today.
I am honored to have you here today, and you are doing such cool things in the world. So let's jump right in and tell people your name, where you are in the world, and what you're up to.
Um, so my name is Jean Oelwang. I am currently in Park City, Utah. And, uh, what I'm up to, we, I work for an amazing organization called Virgin Unite. We're the not-for-profit, a bit like a entrepreneurial incubator that changes unacceptable issues and systems for goods. So that's who I work with as well as I started my own not-for-profit called Plus Wonder, which is all about how we really have a relationship reset in the world.
Spark relationships and collaborations of purpose in the world. So those are two of the things that I'm focused on. And a and a third is this amazing initiative that we literally just launched about a week and a half ago in New York called Planetary Guardians around how we lift. The planetary boundary science to look at the whole earth.
So climate, water, um, also, uh, air pollution, land use. Um, so we're looking holistically at this incredible planet that we live on.
And you also have an amazing book that everyone's been raving about called Partnering.
Yeah, thank you for bringing that up. It's, uh, been a real joy to work on that. We, uh, interviewed about 65 plus of some of the greatest partnerships and collaborations of our time, and then synthesized their wisdom to see how they built these extraordinary partnerships.
So that's the book partner.
When Carol recommended you, um, I had a lovely conversation with her. Then she's like, you have to have to have Jean in your podcast. And she said, I'm like, obviously, and my first thought was. How can, can I be you when I'm finally an adult and grown up? Like how? How can that be where I move into?
Because you're having the most amazing conversations and you're connecting these great people and thought leaders, and you're really asking the questions that I don't understand why everyone isn't asking all the time. Um. Because there's a quote I saw once of, we have answers to all the challenges we face.
It's just, do we choose to work on them together or not to solve it? So how did you end up doing all of these incredible cool things?
Well, firstly, thank you, those lovely words and congratulations on what you've built with powerful ladies as well and giving it ladies, just, uh, giving women a chance to, to have a voice.
And I adore Carol and I wanna be like her when I grow up. I don't know. She told you the story about how we met where she did not. I, um, I was going on a plane and uh, I sat down next to her and I usually like. Put my headphones on, start working when I'm on a plane. Mm-hmm. My mini office, but I just couldn't not talk to her 'cause she had this extraordinary energy.
Yeah. So, uh, so we got in conversation and by the end of the trip, which was like a four hour trip, I'd asked her to actually marry my husband and I, um, so she was the person that came up to Park City at the top of the mountain and married us. So I just adore her. She's an ama amazing woman. Um.
She is, she's, she's, I am so lucky that I got to meet her in person and then I'm, I, I'm so grateful that she was a yes to having a conversation on this podcast because like, she's like, you so busy.
And I like, this is exactly why I started the podcast, to be talking to women like you and her because these are the things that I'm, I wish everyone was paying attention to versus. Whatever random TikTok thing is happening right now.
Yeah. And she and I, I watched her or listened to her podcast that you did with her and it was super powerful and she, I interviewed her actually for the book with Wade Davis as a partnership, uh, because Oh, wow.
Which was just extraordinary. I remember it was supposed to be, I think it was like a 30 minute interview, and it ended up being like a three hour interview and just glorious and just their friendship's extraordinary. So,
yes. Well, I, we could talk about Carol for probably four podcast episodes alone, so let's come back to you in the incredible work you're doing.
So. How did you get into this space where you're talking to incredible people and facilitating these incredible conversations and movements? Like if, if we go back to 8-year-old you, is that what she would have imagined you're spending your life doing? I
think 8-year-old me wa wanted to be either a nun or a veterinarian.
So probably a whole different direction. But, um, the, the way that I got here is really by disruptive detours in my life. You know, I, um, when I graduated, I went into telecommunications in, in America and then I decided I wanted to join Vista, which is a little bit like the Domestic Peace Corps. And I worked with homeless teenagers and refugees in Center city of Chicago.
And that really was this kind of. You know, massive change in my, in my life, in my direction, and I became really focused on how are we letting like 18, you know, 17, 12 year olds live on the streets and the kind of systemic failure between government, not-for-profit and business that was allowing that to happen.
So I became really passionate about that. And then I ended up going into telecommunications in, um, in London with a company called Calin Wireless and helping startup mobile phone companies, uh, all over the world. Uh, this was some probably 30 years ago when it was just beginning. And, uh, and then I got even more passionate about how do we, how do we bring those sectors together to solve issues mm-hmm.
Living in Columbia or Bulgaria and, and then, um, when I was in South Africa. We launched a prepaid service. It was one of the first prepaid services in the world, and not in the world, in, in the African continent. And so, um, we expected that we were gonna, you know, do well with it, but we never expected we'd get our entire annual sales target in one month.
And, uh. Yeah, which is incredible. And we went into the townships to see what was happening and you had all these people using these phones for entrepreneurial purposes, starting businesses, selling phone calls out of a briefcase. And again, it was a light bulb moment about that intersection between how a business can also drive impact.
And so years later, um, I was, had the good fortune to work in Australia and I had left the telecommunications sector to work in, um, the foundation for National Parks and Wildlife. So another. Career pivot. And then I got a call from Virgin saying, would you help us start a mobile phone company up? And so I um, went to help them start that mobile phone company up.
And then I happened to overhear Richard talking in the car about wanting to do more philanthropically, and that was Richard Branson, who was my boss. And um, and so I put together a plan and you know, a year later I was moving to London and we were starting something called Virgin Unite. And Virgin Unite really as a platform, has given me this opportunity to see the power of collaboration.
'cause everything we do is in collaboration. And so that got me really, really passionate. Watching groups like the Elders, which is group global leaders working on conflict resolution and peace in human rights. But watching them, it became very clear to me that we are who we are because of our relationships.
And so that pivoted me to start plus wonder.
I definitely have been into more of the relationships and the power of that and plus wonder, and I can, I also don't wanna step over. How did you make such radical pivots from telecommunications to the national parks, back to to telecommunications, back to impact spaces?
Like were people calling you for opportunities? Were you seeking them out? Like how did those jumps happen for people who can't imagine leaving the one path they've been on so far?
Yeah, the jumps happened more because of what was in my heart and my gut and what, what was I was telling myself I needed to do, not necessarily people reaching out to me.
Um, later that happened, but not, not in those early stages of my career. And I, anyone that's listening, you know, it was very funny because when I made that first jump to work at, uh, neon Street, when I was the Vista Volunteer, everyone in the company, um, said to me, don't do it. You're gonna lose your. Your path, you're gonna blow up your career.
And I was so happy I made the personal decision to do it because it was a, it was a year at Neon Street, a year and a half, and it changed my life so dramatically and changed my lens on life, and I never, ever would've got the opportunities I had later on in life. If I hadn't experienced that and had proximity to the issues and understood the issues, and that was super important to me.
And again, it happened with the National Parks and Wildlife, same thing. Everyone's like, you're on this great career path, you know, don't do it. And I was at National Parks and I again, super glad I did that. I learned a lot about what's broken between not-for-profit, business and government. Mm-hmm. And so it's.
Huge learning experience. And then there I did get a call from Virgin saying, would you help us start up a mobile phone company? Um, so again, just I would recommend anyone that's listening is to follow your heart path and don't listen to all the people that are gonna put guardrails around you and try to lock you into a path that maybe they had.
Um, but maybe that's not the right one for you. And you know, maybe we need to open our minds as individuals so that we can. Have experiences across sector so we can understand each other better.
For you to be in a space where you could listen to your heart and what was pulling toward you towards these next great pivots, do you spend time like journaling?
Have you always just been more in touch with like what your intuition and heart's telling you? Like is there a practice you have or is that how you were born and your, your intuitive personality?
No, I do, I do meditate and reflect a lot. That's really important to me, so I take pauses. Mm-hmm. Um, but probably if I, if when you ask that question, the first thing that came to my head was actually my father.
And, uh, because, um, he was this great man, um, who gave me such confidence and belief in myself. Mm-hmm. And, uh, and so I think he helped me. Be not fearful of driving and making change in my life. And, you know, maybe all of us can't have a, a great father, a great mother like I was blessed to have. But what we can have is great friends or great teachers.
And when we find those people and those relationships at a young age, and I think for parents to encourage children to build those. Relationships around them. That's what gives us the confidence, um, particularly when we're starting out to go out and do and leap off from something and really make change in our lives and building.
Network of deep connections. That again, doesn't have to be blood relatives, but it has to be people that believe in you and that are gonna lift you.
I think you and I share some core values in life when we're like 13 minutes into the conversation already. So like I'm such a big proponent of telling my clients to like.
Get out of your house, get away from the computer, go make new friends, like go put yourself in spaces that you shouldn't be in. I know how my life is enriched by people that I meet along the way. It's selfishly why I do this podcast. Like, how can I talk to as many interesting people as possible because it's so filling for me.
Um, but there's so much power, I think to your point of. Building your circle and network and nurturing it, and people get so paralyzed about networking and making new connections, and it's almost like we have forgotten that we have to keep making friends for the rest of our lives. For people who have had a smaller network than you or I may have, how can they start building a network where they do have people that are encouraging them and mentoring them, and people who are.
Kind of lighting these little sparks inside them again, to be bigger than they maybe thought they could be.
Yeah, and I think firstly thanks to you for being curious. 'cause I think being curious is one of the most important, um, skills that we can have. I don't even know if you call it still, it's like an innate, you know, energy of be Having that curiosity constantly is so, so important and I think that drives a lot of people being willing to open their hearts and, and build new connections in their lives.
And I think sometimes when we hear the word networking, everyone gets fearful. 'cause it's like we think of this breath, like networking has to be like you go to cocktail parties and you meet tons of people. And in reality it's the depth of our connections that actually make us who we are. And so figuring out where you can go to places that you really.
Expect something someone's doing like mm-hmm. Some, like those young people, when I worked in Neon Street at that homeless shelter, um, during my Vista volunteer, they taught me more than most of the people I'd met in my life by that stage. Um, and so it's figuring out those places that, um, that you're passionate about driving some kind of change in the world, and that link with purpose when you're making the connections can't be underestimated and it makes those connections more meaningful rather than the fearfulness of just.
Putting yourself out there thinking about where, what is your purpose in life and how can you go to those places that you will then meet people that will help you fulfill your purpose. And then those connections become more purposeful rather than just thinking about the breath and it's taking that risk.
You know, if I hadn't talked to Carol, um, sitting next to me that day, uh, you know, yeah. I would never have had this great human being in my life. Um, that's, um, been so central to many critical moments in my life. So it's taking that risk when you, when you feel that connection to someone and when you, again, feel that intersection of purpose.
Mm-hmm.
I, uh, I often feel that I don't know how I can help that person. I don't know why they might want to talk to me, but I know that I'm curious about them and I just wanna show up and see what can happen and see where things go sometimes. Um. And I think there's some people are stuck in this space of like having to have the plan.
Like we have to do it the perfect way and the right way. And I think there's so much more power in showing up and seeing what happens and just being there from such a place of, to your point, curiosity, but also goodness, like wanting to, if nothing else, like leaves someone feeling better than when they left and just kind of see what naturally happens.
There's been people I've reached out to who was excited. To talk about, talk with or meet with. And it didn't really go anywhere. And I was like, okay, not that one. We'll have to move on to the next one. 'cause some people aren't in the same space time connection, emotional wavelength, whatever it is. Um, but then when you find people who are you?
I think you know it instantly and you're like, okay, yes. Like we're keeping that person, they're incredible. What else can we do to change the world together? At least that's where my brain goes.
Yeah, no, a hundred percent agree that, um, that, and I, I really believe that sometimes perfectionism and also comfort are some of the biggest enemies of, of wa change in this world.
You know, we, yeah, we become so hyper individualistic and we're so focused on, you know, putting ourselves in this bubble of perfection or, you know, making sure that. That we are the, the one, like I, I asked this young girl the other day in Miami, you know, what is the biggest issue facing your generation?
And she said back to me that we are stuck in our, in our social media bubbles. Mm-hmm. And I feel like that kind of epitomizes where we sit today. And it's causing such an issue with mental health because young people are having to compare themselves to everyone else. All the time, and it's this kind of race to perfectionism that will get us nowhere.
You know, ultimately, you know, we, we have warped measures of success. Most of them are focused around self-interest, um, rather than focused on collective good. And ultimately the, the only thing that really matters in our lives is the legacies we create by the people we love into being. You know, that's what's ultimately gonna make a difference in this world, and yet we're so focused on ourselves and on inward looking rather than looking outward and using our relationships, thinking about them from the perspective of not what we can get from them, but what we can give to the world through them.
That's beautiful.
So that leads me to wanna ask, where did plus wonder come from for you? It wasn't like you were bored and needed more things to do, I'm guessing. Mm-hmm. So what propelled you to know that it had to come into existence?
Yeah, and it, that's a beautiful way to say it. 'cause I couldn't not bring it into existence, you know, even when I was frustrated thinking, this is ridiculous.
Why am I doing this? I couldn't not, not do it. And, uh, it started really, um, probably. Close to 20 years ago, because I had been in a career where I was, you know, breaking glass ceilings as a female kept on going up and up and up. And then as I got to CEO level on board level, I felt more and more alone and less and less myself.
And um, and at the same time I was starting with, uh, Virgin Unite and we were starting this group called the Elders, which is that group of global leaders working on behalf of humanity for peace and human rights. And I, at the time, I was feeling so alone because I really wasn't investing in my relationships.
I was investing in my career and breaking glass ceilings and I was watching them and that's when I really realized, 'cause I had put a lot of them on this individual pedestal, like whether that be Nelson Mandela or Grass and Michelle, or. Arch Tutu and Mary Robinson, and as I watched them, it became really, really apparent to me that they were who they were because of their relationships.
They had invested in their relationships, and that's what made them these amazingly great people that were able to make such change. World. So at that stage I really started it, it started out just by me interviewing them, you know, I started out interviewing President Mrs. Carter and just to really learn personally, and we, I was gonna originally do a book of like 10 partnerships, mainly romantic.
And then I interviewed Ben and Jerry and, um, and I realized that the, the things that made like President Mrs. Carter's relationship. Strong were similar to what made Ben and Jerry's didn't matter. One was friends and one was romantic. Mm-hmm. So I decided to interview more and more people and that's when we got up to about 65.
And what was beautiful, Kara, is that in there it was this beautiful like patterns that started to merge about what made these partnerships fantastic. And so we started to code all the transcripts and then we started thinking, well. We can't not share this with the world. So we started a foundation plus Wonder and then wrote the book.
Partnering.
I, it's hard to explain to people who are hungry for what their purpose or their thing is that lights them up to tell them that the greatest things we do. Sometimes we didn't. Plan, they, they just kinda showed up and started poking us like louder and louder. Like, it, it becomes a path that you can't ignore, as you said, of like, you just get going in a certain direction.
But it's, it's by taking that first action of doing the interview or taking that first step to being curious and there's like a level of patience that I think we have to have more than most people do of. It's go. If you're doing things that let you up, even if they don't seem potentially like purposeful in the Western standard of purpose, they're going to end up in something that you haven't even imagined yet that will be bigger than you could have thought of right now.
Like when you look at Plus Wonder and the book, are you like. What, what are you so delighted by? And like surprised by of like what they've given to you or shown you.
Yeah, I mean that whole experience changed my life completely because I, you know, I think we all think, oh, we're really good at relationships.
We can build partnerships. But then when you see these partnerships about how much hard work and how much thought they put into it, how like the rituals and the traditions they created to build that deep connection, or the tools that they created and how they. Dealt with friction, 'cause none of them were void of friction.
So those things, just that amount of really hard work and investment like that was one of the things that transformed me because I started being more thoughtful about who I invest my time into. Mm-hmm. And how I create those healthy relationships. Um, so that was probably one of the, the first things. The other thing that, that I guess really surprised me was, you know, I think so many people.
That we, that I speak to are afraid of their light and they don't realize that one of the things that can help you make that light shine and give you the, the courage is your relationships and your partnerships. And it was this really interesting 'cause we chose the partners based on longevity of the partnership and that they had used their partnership to make a bigger difference in their lives.
But what we had never, ever realized is how powerful that something bigger was. To actually the strength of the partnership too and how it didn't have to be the same, something bigger, but having that purpose almost lifted you above the day-to-day drama. Mm-hmm. That always is gonna happen in a partnership.
And so that was super interesting and so central. And then the other thing that really surprised us is we started to study these great human, achieve. Like ending apartheid in South Africa, um, protecting the ozone layer, um, ending smallpox in India and at the center of every one of these was a beautiful group of friends.
So this tight group of deep connections that made these great human achievements happen that are almost these unsung heroes because we don't talk about them 'cause they don't. Fit that perfect superhero box, um, because it was a collective of friends. And you know, there's that beautiful Margaret Mead quote that talks about how nothing has ever happened until like a small group of citizens come together and make it happen.
And, um, those weren't her exact words, she said it much more eloquently, but that essence, and that's exactly what we found at the, at the center of all of these. Mm-hmm.
Having a bigger impact is something that I can't imagine not having part of what drives me. Um, that and the curiosity piece, I don't, I forget that they are unusual, um, and not something that are, is in everyone's frame of reference, even if internally they might have it somewhere.
Um, what can impact look like because of course ending apartheid, as you said, is a huge human achievement. Was there a scale of impact that you see partnerships, like for example, my parents have been married for 40 something years and they, like the impact or purpose they've had has really been to get my siblings and I somewhere else, get them, get us out.
Um, and like that commitment to the fa like the impact was the family impact and that stability and the teamwork of it all. Um. How can, what's the range of impact that you think people need to have? Partnerships work.
Yeah. And well done to your parents for raising you and I, uh, it doesn't have to be, it can be raising a beautiful child in this world right up to ending apart.
It doesn't matter. All that matters is that you have something that makes you passionate. And when you're, when asking me that question, I immediately thought of my dad. Um, because my dad and my mom came from pretty much nothing in terms of means. And they, um, and they worked so hard when we were growing up, my dad was a start.
Door to door credit collector for Sears and Roebuck. And my mom was a nurse and they worked so hard that, so that we had every opportunity that they didn't. And I remember when my dad was, um, on, during his nineties, he had a really rough time before he passed and he was in and out of ICU constantly. I remember being by his bedside when he woke up one time and uh, saying, welcome back dad.
And he smiled and he is like, you know, glad to be back. And I said, what are you gonna do now? And he said, I'm going to make a difference in people's lives for the next 100 years. Which was very funny 'cause he was in his nineties and then we had this beautiful conversation about how he had always felt torn because he wanted to work so hard to support us, to give us everything.
But he also wanted to support his community and, um, mm-hmm. Smile when he said that because right before, it's actually right up there, there's a big brown leather book that, um, that we'd found in his boxes with, um, gold handwriting in the year 1968 on it. And he'd worked his way up by this time to be a, a store manager at Burlington Store.
Sears and Roebuck. And it was really beautiful. 'cause when you open the book, the first page talks about how a retail store is just bricks and mortar until human beings breathe life into it. And then it talks about my dad as their guide, not their boss. And then page after page is things like, thank you, Bob, for when I stole from the store, giving me a second chance.
Thank you, Bob, for when I had a drug addiction for helping me through it and not losing my job. Thank you Bob, for never forgetting, um, mom's day for us single moms and giving us a plant. And you know, when he asked me that question in the hospital, all I could think of is like his purpose was to bring joy and lift up every single human being that he met.
Mm-hmm. He brought so much light and love into this world through that. And, you know, it reminded me too that, um, one of the people directors at Virgin Group had this beautiful quote that they called A Million Magic Moments where every time we interact with someone, we have a chance. To either live their life or destroy their life.
And, uh, and so I feel like purpose sometimes we make this massive big thing that it has to be perfect and it can evolve. And when in reality it's what we do every day, how we interact with one another, and then it's what, what is that bonfire in your belly that you're gonna build that, that. Something that you're, you know, willing to dedicate your life to.
Um, and that doesn't mm-hmm. Necessarily become clear at any age, you know, and sometimes it may not become clear till you're in your nineties, but what's important that you're open to searching for it and that you build a life that's meaningful, where you're actually bringing purpose to others as well.
Well, I think that's a good segue of like, what does powerful mean to you? And when powerful and ladies are next to each other, does the definition change?
Yeah, I think it, I think it does change and I, I was thinking a lot, a lot about this 'cause I have, I have a little bit of like, um, anxiety with the word power sometimes because I think, I feel like sometimes we think of it as power over. And I guess when I, when you put powerful and ladies together, I think.
Power with alongside. Um, so that, and that's a, I think a different context of the word power than what is in the world right now. And I think the other thing I think is just a real courage to, to follow your own path and to listen to your heart, and also to stand up against the unacceptable I. So rarely now.
I think again, comfort is our huge enemy and very few people stand up when they see things that are unacceptable in this world. So when I think of powerful ladies, I think of people that stand up against the unacceptable issues, and they do it from a place of humility. Um, they do it from a place of what I would call informed confidence, where they know.
Where they can make the difference, um, where their voice can make a difference rather than trying to be the loudest, the biggest in the room. Um, and that's where, again, that, that power word is slightly different when you put the word powerful lady next to it. Mm-hmm.
You've had the privilege of talking to so many people about so many issues.
Are there conversations that you've had about these big, important global topics that stick with you, keep you up at night versus others?
Yeah, I think, um, there's a big one right now as I, I'd say there's three big ones right now. Um, for me, one is definitely, uh, this planetary boundary science. 'cause I think we also, when we're talking about partnering and partnership, we have to change our partnership with nature And, uh, this amazing scientist, Johan Strom and Katherine Richardson is uh, was his friend and another guy, or Will Stefan came together and got 28 scientists to come up with the planetary boundary science.
And because it looks at the earth holistically, it allows us to create a holistic relationship with the planet so that we're thinking about, okay, it's not okay to put this chemical into our, whether it's at our homes in our yard, or whether it's something that a company is doing or it's not okay to, you know, do something that's going to, um, ruin the ecosystem around.
Mm-hmm. Or with a company to, you know, changing the rainforest and the, when the planetary boundary science launched last week, six out of the nine boundaries are breached. Um, so we are in a catastrophic risk right now as humanity unless we pull them back. But the great news is that we've done it before with the ozone layer.
It was. Way out in a catastrophic breach, and we brought it back into a safe zone. So that's one issue that's absolutely at the top of my mind. Um, the second issue that's probably at the top my mind as well every day is how we've pushed ourselves into a corner of hyper individualism. So how do we reimagine and relearn how to connect, how to build deep connections with another, how do we bridge these divides?
How do we celebrate difference rather than push it away? So that's. Constantly at the top of my mind. And then the third one, which um, is something more that's an internal passion for me. Um, not necessarily a global world issue, although I would think at that because I'm so passionate about it, but it's ending the death penalty, um, because I feel strongly that, uh, we shouldn't be having state sanctioned killings.
Um, and you know, it's, uh, it, it, and also just, you know, watching some of these. Folks who have been released innocent off a death row and just thinking the horror of us actually killing an innocent person. Mm-hmm. Um, but so that's a third one that is really deep in my heart right now.
So those are three really big things, and I'm sure everyone listening is asking, how do you actually go to sleep at night?
Because I know that this isn't all about me solving them. It's about how you build these collaboratives and these collectives, like with the planetary guardians, those 28 scientists. What a joy to work. For, you know, the, the community that's worked together for almost 50 years now to protect the ozone layer.
We were with them last week. Like, how much can we learn from them about what they're doing, how they did it. Mm-hmm. So, and like the death penalty we stand on the shoulders of so many people have been working to end the death penalty. And also people like a dear friend Anthony Ray Hinton, who was released off of death row, um, in Alabama after 30 years of incorrectly being incarcerated in a five by eight foot cell.
Like watching him and how passionate he is about using his voice. To continue to end the death penalty. And when you see all of these people and then that gives you hope, because you know, if we come together in this sense of radical collaboration with these great leaders, there is, we actually become unstoppable.
And that that's how we protected the ozones. We became unstoppable because we came together.
Mm-hmm. Well, it's nice to see things that. We're doing and they're working, right? Yeah. Like there's, there's, um, you know, I, I met Carol going to the Mountain Film Festival and mm-hmm. You go through these amazing documentaries and there's one where like, look, we're winning over here, but it's like, look, we're losing over here.
And like, there's just this turmoil of. You know, giving space, I think for the most well-intentioned plans to have to be adjusted sometimes and knowing that collectively we are moving forward because I think sometimes we're so hard on ourselves, especially the people who I think are carrying the most about making these changes happen and.
Of course, we're on timelines for things, so we do need to be taking bold actions now. Um, but I think it's an interesting balance of knowing that the well-intentioned plan will have to be adjusted and we're still taking action anyway today because we, there's a lot of things we know and have answers for.
Yeah. And I think, I think this is, um, a lot to blame actually on the media. Um mm-hmm. Because I think what the media does is they celebrate all the negative stories rather than ever lifting up the positive stories. And we become such, like, every time you turn on the tv, you're feel like you're in a washing machine of drama.
Yeah. And we don't step back and think about what's working, you know, like that ozone story. I, I think that's. Spoken to close to 3000 people now in the last couple years, and I always ask the question, who in the room knows who discovered there was an issue and then protected the ozone layer? And in all those thousands of rooms, two people could admit.
Any one name. And again, it's because it doesn't fit in that single superhero box. It was this collective of friends and you see them and how humble they are and they just got on with it and did it. Yeah. But we never celebrate it. And I, I think that's one of the things we were really keen on with Plus wonder is taking all this data from these partnerships.
Coming up with a solution so that people know how they can build the deep connection. So we're not just talking about the problem of loneliness, the problem of disconnection, but here's a solution. And these six degrees of connection framework on how you can build these deep connections in your lives and like what you're doing on the coaching side is really important because, you know, one of the partnerships called it, you can't see the label from inside the jar and you, you know, getting that outside help.
It's so important to help you gain perspective, find your path. Mm-hmm. Um, and find who you need to be partnering with.
Um, it, when I was, I was in a leadership development conference and I saw these people who knew exactly what they wanted to do, save whatever part of the world needs saving or fixing, and I just was shocked that no one knew how to start.
And I was like, well, I know how to do that part. Like I don't know how to do the other part. So maybe that's where I can plug in. And I, I think that's also where people will get stopped often is you don't need to know the equation to fix the ozone layer and what that looks like scientifically and chemically and all the things every, we all have a skillset that needs to come into that collective viewer.
Speaking of, um. I've been reflecting quite a bit on like, people often ask me like, how I ended up here and when I was talking to another podcast guest about it, I realized that all of my, uh, heroes when I was, you know, like in middle school-ish age were all fictional female characters like the Babysitters Club.
And I'm like, how insane is that that I was like, well, yeah, like those fictional 13 year olds can run a business together, so I can probably do it too. And what there was like, like just how your brain works when you're little and it's implanted in me of like that idea of doing it in collective though it's, it's more fun and I'm just, I don't know, doing things independently, even for people who are really good independent workers.
It's, it's just different. Like there's not someone to enjoy the highs and lows. There's not someone to laugh with. It. It shifts things. So I'm very excited to read the book. Um, there's, I was part of the, um, Benson Henry Institute's, uh, positivity and resiliency training that a friend of mine was trained in.
I was in his beta group. And there was a question in there about who really is your community and like an assessment we were doing. And it is an assessment that has rocked my world since I did it. Mm-hmm. Realizing the lack of community I have in different pockets where I need it. And I told him like, this is the only self-development thing I've done where I've left.
Less happy than when I started. But it's in a good space because now it's like clear actions to take and like how do we fix what we don't like seeing when we do the assessment. Yeah. Um, so like you mentioned as well, like when you started seeing these patterns and like you had to implement some new practices yourself.
What was one of those new practices that you implemented?
Yeah, and the, and the beauty is that like the, the six degrees of connection, you need to do them all holistically. 'cause you can't just do one bits and pieces. And so when I first started this process, like the thing around that came up around the partnerships having these rituals and these, uh, traditions.
Daily practices. Something I hadn't expected and I hadn't really put much thought in. I mean, it'd be like, I think, okay, this is fun to do this one day or that one day, or even in the team, you know, you think about things like, um, uh, you know, getting meetings together, whatever. But like the one that I implemented in my team, which I loved, was from Airbnb.
Um, and so the three founders there, what they used to do is bring their team together once a month. Mm-hmm. And they had this amazing ritual they called elephants, dead fish and vomit. And so they would get their, which I never ever dreamt words in one sentence, but they used to get them all in the same room.
Um, and they would talk about the elephants in the room that no one was talking about, the dead fish that everyone was talking about, but not doing anything about. And then the vomit, just the things that people needed to get off their chest. And by putting it in like a fun, humorous way like that, it opened up the space for when we did it in our team for people to be like.
It's okay for me to say this. It's okay for me to have this honest conversation so it cracked open in this honesty. Um, so that was one that I just loved and, and stole from them. Um, another one that is just beautiful was called Friday Talk. And this was Joe, um, Kino and Paz, his, um, partner. And what they did is that every Friday they would block off two hours and they would go someplace outside the house.
And each one of them would have to do deep listening while the other one talked about what was good that week and then what was not so good that week. Um, and then they'd open up the conversation and they said it, that simple two hour ritual changed their entire week because in the early week, if they got.
In a fight or if they got an argument, it, they didn't blow up because they knew they had this time on Friday. Mm-hmm. And by the time Friday got there, they would've been more thoughtful about like what went wrong and how it went wrong. And it also just bonded them because then they, they knew as they went, they didn't like, it didn't become an explosion like six months.
Mm-hmm. Spine that everyone was just holding in. Um, so it was almost just a consistency of, of that simple ritual. That was great. And uh, one that I love that was, um, this, the Deli Brothers Sangu Deli. Um, he had three brothers and they were the partnerships that I interviewed and he used to talk about how his mom was the CEO of them.
And, uh, every night she used to have them go look in the mirror and, um, ask what they did for someone else. And then she did this really interesting ritual where if one of them did something naughty, she would actually punish all of them together. And if one of them was successful, she'd, she'd celebrate them all.
So from a family ritual, I thought that was just a beautiful way of like teaching the importance of connection and, and collaborating from a very young age. I love
that we ask everyone on the podcast where they put themselves in the powerful lady scale. If zero is average everyday human, and 10 is the most powerful lady you can imagine, where would you put yourself on that scale today and on an average day?
Oh, I don't know because I couldn't put myself alone on that scale. So I think, um, I think with my teams right now, like with the Plus Wonder Team, we just have the most amazing people on board. So I put us up to that like 10. I feel like we're really working well and like the planetary guardians team that we're building, that one as well, I'd say is up at 8, 9, 10.
Um, and then, you know, I think for all of us as individuals, we go on, that's. Scale and off that scale all day long, you know, depending on the interactions that we're having. And the key, I think, is to use that energy from the people that you work with, the people that you partner with, to hold you up with that.
Keep you up at that high scale and bring you up when you're down in that low spot. Um, so yeah, so I don't know. I can't answer that question. I'm sorry. That's okay.
So for people who want to get involved with plus wonder for people who wanna get involved in Virgin United or any of the other organizations that you are a part of, what do you guys need?
What are you looking for? How can people be a contribution?
Yeah, no, thank you for that question, Kara. I think that for plus wonder, one of the things we're really passionate about right now is how do we change the education system? Because that's where we learn to be hyper individualistic because of the way we're structured about winning the Gold Star.
You know, you doing the best you can as an individual. So right now, anyone that's excited to help change the education system we would love to work with, and so we're building this kind of, um, architect program of about a hundred teachers across. United States right now to embed kind of these principles of partnering in themselves and then in the way that they teach in the classroom.
Um, so that's something we're super passionate about. Um, and if anyone wants to get engaged, just shout. There's a website that we have that you can also indicate you wanna get involved in on the website too, is all the video footage from the 65 partnerships. To the six degrees of connection. So if you wanna delve into how you can build those deep connections in your own life, 'cause ultimately that's what we want people to do is spark these connections of purpose and these relationships of purpose in their own life.
And then on Planetary Guardians, same thing. If there's any, anyone that's interested in looking at how we change the relationship and into a partnership with nature, um, there's a website that's up and running around planetary guardians as well.
Amazing. And for people who want to reach out and, and connect with you is, can they go through those websites as well or is there a place where they can follow you?
Like Instagram or something on LinkedIn,
Instagram, all of those things? Yeah. Um, really open to love to connect with people. 'cause again, the more movement we can get behind towards a. Positive direction rather than where we are as human beings right now, which is fear division and separation. Um, we would open heartedly.
Welcome everyone that wants to work with us on that.
Amazing. Um, we've also been asking everyone what do you need? What are you wishing for? What's on your to-do list or your to manifest list? Personally or for any of the organizations you're a part of? What's something that, uh, this community can maybe help cause or create for you?
Yeah, I mean, thank you for asking that. That's, um, you very rarely get asked that question, so I'm stumped a little bit on that one. I feel like the, you know, again, probably going back to plus wonder and the education revolution, I think. For reframing a relationship reset in the world is something that we would love to have donors, to have people that are creative that perhaps wanna help us get the message out there.
People that wanna build networks with us. 'cause what we did as a, as a group of friends that started plus wonder, we did it all philanthropically. So we have tons of content. We just built a teacher curriculum. Um, we have like. Hundreds of hours of videos that the team has produced. So we really wanna get it out into the world.
So if people are out there that can help us from a distribution perspective, um, or if they're interested in joining forces with us as a donor, um, we would really open be welcome to that.
Amazing. Well, it has been such a pleasure to talk to you today. Uh, thank you for being a yes to me and to the powerful ladies and being so generous with your time and your wisdom today.
Thank you, Kara. Thank you for all you're doing and bringing, lifting women's voices, which is just extraordinary.
All the links to connect with Gene. Plus Wonder Virgin Unite her book Partnering and the new organization Planetary Guardians are in our show notes@thepowerfulladies.com. Please subscribe to this podcast wherever you're listening, and leave us a rating and review. Join us on Instagram at Powerful Ladies, and if you're looking to connect directly with me, visit kara duffy.com or Kara Duffy on Instagram.
I'll be back next week with a brand new episode. Until then, I hope you're taking on being powerful in your life. Go be awesome and up to something you love.
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Created and hosted by Kara Duffy
Audio Engineering & Editing by Jordan Duffy
Production by Amanda Kass
Graphic design by Anna Olinova
Music by Joakim Karud
