Episode 266: The Story Inside You Can Change the World | Kim O’Hara on Books, Healing and Being Seen
Kim O’Hara is a book coach and publishing consultant who helps people write the story they’ve been afraid to tell. In this episode, Kara and Kim talk about the emotional and professional journey of writing a book, why visibility is so difficult for high-achieving women, and what it really means to be heard. They explore memoir writing, publishing timelines, and how writing your truth can help others heal.
“How many people have you impacted? That’s the purpose of a book, to reach the people who need to hear your story. It’s about impact, not only best-seller lists.”
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The Miracle Effect - book
Ownership: Your Personal Life Is Your Business - book by Allison Andrews Canter (San Diego Fashion Foundation)
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Follow along using the Transcript
Chapters:
(00:00:01) – Powerful Ladies Stop Questioning Their Decisions
(00:04:15) – From Hollywood to Healing: Why Kim Became a Book Coach
(00:10:10) – Book vs. Bestseller: The Real Purpose of Writing
(00:17:30) – The Most Powerful Women Are the Most Reinvented
(00:23:10) – When It’s Time to Let Go and Move On
(00:28:00) – Coaching the Person, Not Just the Book
(00:34:00) – Permission to Be Happy, Wealthy and Seen
Powerful ladies are women who are willing to, you know, stop questioning their decisions. We do not have time anymore to live in regret and shame and fear of failure. We need to get busy making money and being happy. And spreading our joy all over, all over.
That's Kim O'Hara. I'm Kara Duffy, and this is the Powerful Ladies Podcast.
Welcome to the Powerful Ladies Podcast.
Thank you so much for having me. It's wonderful to be here.
Well, we recently got to meet in person and today is actually an exciting day for me because every podcast guest I'm recording with today, I know or have met in person, which is exciting. Unusual.
That is so rare.
That is so rare in this day and age.
Yeah. So we got to meet this amazing conference called Get Intentional. And we met because you've been helping my coach, Angie Wisdom with her amazing book. And before I say anything else about you, let's tell everyone your name, where you are in the world and all the things that you are up to.
Oh my gosh, where do I even begin? My name is Kim O'Hara. I am based in Los Angeles, California. I am a book coach and a publishing consultant. I'm also a published author and I'm a mom to two amazing teenage girls. I, what am I up to? Well, I'm doing this incredible podcast with you and talking about some of my favorite topics, which is giving women permission to be happy and wealthy.
Also I'm a sexual abuse survivor. I am very public about that. I believe there's a lot of people that need to heal. So that is what I wrote my first book about. And gosh, what else? I coach amazing people through their books. CEOs, business people, entrepreneurs. Some of them are writing memoirs. Some of them are writing self help books.
It's, it's a great job.
Well, I know that you're, you're expanding how you're helping people, but I want, before we move on to that, I'd love to just anchor down a little bit into you as a coach and consultant for authors and for publishing. Yes. I have actually coached a book coach previously, so I didn't even know this was a thing until I started working with her and I think many people assume you write by yourself in an attic somewhere.
And then, you know, from the heavens, an agent finds you and that's how it works. So no magical fairy agents, no becoming an author, but there's a lot of other ways to become a published author. So how did you get into this? And let's tell people a little bit about like, why your role in writing a book is so critical.
Sure. I got into this because I had hit sort of an apex in my career as a movie producer and screenwriter where I didn't want to do that anymore. I had been out of the picture for a little while to have kids and getting back into it just wasn't sitting with me. I really wanted to do, I, I had heard of the coaching world.
I knew nothing about coaches. I'd never had a coach. And it was suggested to me that I take the knowledge that I had of developing storylines and characters and mainly in fiction and start to bring it into the personal development world. Concurrently, I was working through the personal development world to sort of exercise some of my own demons and to come to terms with a lot of my own stuff.
So it really was a perfect sort of marrying of my own personal development and then helping people write books in personal development. And so, you know, I always made, tried to make books into movies, so it made sense that I would be back in with books. And I always loved books as a kid. You know, I always read the entire summer reading list.
I loved books. So, you know, it was really a great field for me to get into. The coaching piece is a lot of helping people who are highly successful at what they do that's not book writing and showing them that this extremely daunting task of putting themselves vulnerably on the page and feeling a competency as a writer.
holding their hand through that whole process when it's scary for them. Like they've always been really good at something else and now they're going to be like a novice at this very, you know, big daunting task that's going to expose them, hopefully if the book sells, to a lot of people.
You know, I think that when people think about the book they have in their head or the book they should write, it isn't always the part of their story that's the most inspiring or interesting.
So how do you, and do you guide your authors into writing? the aha moments that they have about themselves that they can't see.
The blind spots take a little bit. I work with them for a long time. So I'm a boutique kind of gold standard book coach. I don't have online programs. I don't run people through some like book mill.
I work with very, you know, like with, like with Angie, we worked together for a year. And so I have a lot of time with these clients week in and week out where I'm starting to see places that they're purposely either not talking about what they should be talking about or they come to me with this great idea and they think that's the idea and it becomes very evident that there's another idea inside the idea that's a little more salient for a bigger audience.
And so I will direct them to that. particular idea. There are some really deep wounds that get unearthed depending on the type of book. And, you know, you have to be, you know, careful because some of those wounds can be very deep and then, you know, we don't want to derail anybody while they're in the book process because they still have to live their lives.
Yep. Even though we might want to hear that story, they still got to figure it out.
That's right. That's right. So it's a very, you know, it's a, it's a, you know, I can get a text on any given day from a writer who says, does any of this mean anything? Is anybody going to give a shit? This feels like I'm not a unique person.
Am I wasting my time? And, you know, I just said to a writer recently, just pretend you're at like writer's camp. Just like take the, take the pressure off yourself. Just be at writer's camp. You know, you paid for writer's camp. I,
I have to give my clients a very similar perspective sometimes because we get so attached to a business, a product, the thing.
And I'm like, most of our great ideas. Are just a project. They're not going to become a business. They're not going to become the next new product that's guiding our company. And when people hear, Oh, it's not a business. It's a project. They relax and it actually gets done sometimes.
Because there's just this heaviness.
We put so much significance on the things that we've decided we want and that matter to us. And it doesn't leave any of the room for it to evolve the way it naturally should. And will. Right. Making any products and books fall into this, it's not linear. Right. So, I think people also get a little caught up in that piece as well of, well, I've already talked about, you know, The product, and now we move on to marketing and now, and I'm like, no, we have to go back to the product now because you changed who the customer was, or you changed for sure for you as well.
If they change who they're speaking to, you're like, now we got to start back again and fix these things because it's a completely different person we're having a conversation with now.
Right, right, right. Right, and that's why we do a bunch of different drafts, because the first draft is really the exploration and the regurgitation, and then the second draft is, well, what do we have, and what is it that we have to change, and what we have, and then the third draft is like, let's get this ready to go try and sell this.
What has made you most proud walking clients through their authorship?
Oh God, when I see them celebrating their books and having book signings, and even during COVID, some of them had a few, like a few had like some incredible zoom book launches that were so fun. They brought music and they brought speakers and they had people buying their books and driving their numbers up on Amazon.
I love when I see them get accolades like appear on the Today Show or appear on some big talk show or, you know, they get pointed out by somebody or, or, you know, and also to see the pride in which they stand in of having accomplished this incredible goal. And like, they get their book in the mail for the first time and they open it up.
I mean, you see those things on Instagram and TikTok all the time, people opening up their book in the box and it's a real thing. Like, it's a real big thing. To realize that you've done something that you pretty much had every week, especially when you're working with me, to be accountable every week. You know, if I get a text from you that's like, I don't really, you know, I'm having a hard time with this chapter and it's a day before it's due.
I'm like, well, I don't understand why you're working on the chapter a day before it's due. It's you've had a week like, oh, I had this to do with that's due. And it's like, how bad do you really want it?
I wanted to spell a couple of myths about writing books. Okay. The first is that the book only matters if you become a New York Times bestseller.
Not true.
And why, why is that not true and, and how else can a book be seen as successful?
Well, you know, the, the dirty secret is you can buy yourself onto the New York Times list. I'm just going to say it. We don't have the Wall Street Journal business books anymore, but you used to be able to do that too.
And, you know, and I'm not saying that there aren't books there that are not, you know, that doesn't make them not legit, by the way. Everybody's buying something. It's called marketing and it's called readers. However many readers you can drive toward that book in one given week to land those spots. Kudos to you if you figured out a way to get it done.
That's amazing, right? But it does take money. It does take money from somewhere, whether it's like a publishing house is driving marketing dollars toward it. Does that mean those books are not of exceptional quality? No, they could be, they're probably amazing. I've had a client have a book on the wall street journal business books, and his book was incredible.
He just put a lot of marketing money behind it. So There are so many ways for your book to be effective and out in the world. There's so many ways to take your standpoint, your expertise and become like a big speaker and be out there and be, you know, expecting your books to be on every seat of that 500 to a thousand seat conference.
There's ways to make them into online programs and that's your 17, you know, entry point for someone to get interested in investing in you. Someone was talking about that. I think it was Randy Garn was talking about that at Angie's event, where he says the book is like the very first thing they're going to buy from you.
And then from there, you might have a customer for life. If you build that, if your company offerings are in accordance. And I thought that was really amazing when he put it in that way. Cause it really is. It's a way to touch someone for less than 17.
Well, and I recently heard someone on a, on another podcast talking about how.
He was proud that he'd never been on the bestsellers list because he, his books were more of a slow burn. They get referred by friends and he's like, I've sold however many million copies worldwide. He's like, I don't have any of those accolades and I'm proud of it.
Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah.
And that's it, right?
How many people have you touched? How many people have you been of service to? If you can figure out a way to do that by word of mouth, that's amazing. I mean, sell a million copies by word of mouth. Hal Elrod, The Miracle Effect, he talks about the first year he sold no books. And then in the second year, someone, the right person, got the book and off it went.
And, you know, for my book, No Longer Denying Sexual Abuse, Making the Choices That Could Change Your Life, I, from time to time, will reach out to somebody on Instagram who has a bigger platform than me. I mean, I don't have a huge platform, so I'll look for someone with a bigger platform. I'll tell them about my mission to reach people that have been abused, and I'll ask them if they know anybody who this would relate to, who has a bigger platform than me.
You just have to ask the questions.
Well, and it's like, it comes back to, again, the why you're doing it and why there's so many stories to tell. So why yours? And Right. It, it goes, there's so many parallels because to, to launching a business and writing a book, I think because if you don't know why and for who it's for, it's.
We're going to be a big problems that like you cannot really scale or expand until those are, are fixed, you know, and then Jen Gottlieb and I were talking at the dinner at that conference that you and I met at about podcasts versus books. Cause we're, we're quickly approaching 300 episodes with this podcast and it's like, and I was like, Jen, like you have a podcast, you've just gotten your book come out, which one's made a bigger impact for your business?
And she said, hands down. The book, she said it, it gave her so much credibility for when people are looking at the speaker, the, you know, name, the thing who she, who she was seen as, as a thought leader completely shifted because she had a book.
And it was really interesting to hear the two. I know for some people it's been, it's been different, but I think it's so interesting when we're looking at.
A podcast is a marketing tool. A book can be a marketing tool, which one's really going to make an impact.
How have you seen someone's life change because of their book?
You know, I just wanted to go back to the podcast. You know, I had a podcast for a little while. I really enjoyed it. It was called you, you, you should write a book about that.
And it's, you know, I've did about 96 episodes. It was. ton of fun. And I interviewed John Dumas, and John Dumas is like one of the top podcasters in the world. I mean, he's made millions and millions of dollars doing this. And I, and I brought him on and, and when I brought him on, he had just gotten his book deal.
And it was really exciting for him to talk about how he now is going to be able to put all this into a book, but he didn't get a book deal as a podcaster until he had. Yeah. millions of subs, you know, millions of people subscribing. So I think people believe if they do a podcast and they do a couple hundred episodes that they're suddenly going to get like a book deal and it's, it's not.
what I see happening. So I do think the book is more viable than the podcast. If you wait around to do the book before your podcast gets big, you're going to be waiting around a lot of time, you know, a lot, a lot of time. The wins for me with my clients are not so much Like you're saying these big accolades.
I have a client Allison Andrews Cantor, who has written a book called ownership, and this woman wrote this book when she had two young children that she was single parenting running, you know, this San Diego fashion organization that she founded and then discovered she was pregnant with a third child.
You know, she didn't have, she wasn't married and she kept writing this book and then she had to put the book down. She was like, Oh my God, I have three little kids and a single parent. She published that darn book. She's having a book, a book signing in San Diego in June. And I'm, believe me, I am going to be like, they are, because that is such chutzpah and such like drive.
And now she's creating a whole coaching business called ownership. I'm actually an advertiser on a couple of her podcasts. So to see someone take a brand now, and that originally wasn't the book she was writing. She was writing a memoir. So it became a business book with some memoir stuff in it. So that's just one example of something that's really just perseverance and willingness.
Well, I think it's a great segue to asking you, what do the words powerful and ladies mean to you? And do their definitions change when they're next to each other?
Oh my God. Amazing. Well, I think powerful ladies are women who are willing to, you know, stop questioning their decisions and living in, you know, I write about this in my second book, you know, we do not have time anymore to live in school.
Regret and shame and fear of failure. We need to get busy, you know, making money and being happy and spreading our joy all over, all over. The women that have influenced me the most in my life are women that just keep reinventing themselves and keep doing it in the face of like their own unique original selves.
You know, when we find that original self of who we are, it's almost mind bending how powerful we can be. And like, the lengths in which we could go. I, I do think power lies in the ability to stand without questioning in your own self, your own sense of self and stop turning off the noise. I would say like in the last year, I've never been happier or wealthier than I've been in any other time in my but I've never written less journal entries about MindGook because The gunk that goes on in our heads and that we have to get out of the way so we can manifest Is really it's really loud and it's when you don't have it anymore You have to go through that phase where you're like, well, what am I if I don't have that noise because that noise made me so, And in terms of ladies, do you want me to say what I think a lady actually is?
Yeah
That's really interesting I don't know if I you know, I think You you know, I'm a woman like, you know, and, and I, I, I go out in the world with a dignity and grace. And I try to treat everybody, even if you're a customer service rep on the insurance company who I want to just beat with a stick because you're not listening to me try to, you know, and, and also give an image to my children who are too young, forming women that, that You know, to be powerful and to be a lady doesn't mean you have to go out in the world and, like, slay it all the time.
You can be, you know, vulnerable and gentle and kind and still have power if you are clear inside of you that you are powerful. Good and whole and complete. That is, I think, one of the greatest powers that we can carry and to make money as women so that we can go out and make change and do effective things in the world.
I love having money because I can go take trips. I can go, you know, jump out of planes. I can pay for experiences I want to pay for. I can, you know, if I decide I want to take a little time off, I can. It's very exciting to be in that place. It's freedom.
Well, you get to do with it what you want. And part of my entire business mission is to put money in the hands of good people.
You know, there's been a lot of conversations we've been having lately. We even did a workshop up in LA in March about trusting yourself and how to tune into that voice because there is so much. Noise that we have to kind of go through in order to actually hear our own voice. Because sometimes our voice is real loud and sometimes it is quiet and you're like, wait, where'd you go?
Right. So what practices have you done to tune into your own voice and to be able to be at a place? You're like, this is exactly who I am and I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
You know, when my voice tells me to go do something, it's usually not of the norm. And I have to fight through a lot of that.
Like, you know, I actually don't think, let me take that back. I don't fight through it. I usually do what my mind tells me to do. But I then go through a long process after of like, really reconciling with and thinking about why this was for me and spending more time. understanding what the journey is supposed to be than what the opinion of others is supposed to be on me, right?
So being a writer when I bought this house in South Los Angeles during the pandemic, it was very confusing to a lot of people why I would move into this particular neighborhood that is not where a lot of people of my, you know, Caucasian people live. And the bottom line was it was where I could afford it.
My dream was to buy a home. I had had that dream for seven years and my real estate agent never once told me. She's amazing. She's an author. I've, I've actually helped coach through a book that's about to get big publishing. She's got an amazing story. She came from Korea. So we're one of the same.
We're both survivors of a lot. And so she was like down with it. So I was like, I'm going to be down with it too. We bought this, I bought this incredible house and now, so then I couldn't live there anymore because the commute was really hard when the pandemic ended and my daughters were going to school and, 45 minutes away.
I was driving 45 minutes each way. My body started breaking down. I wasn't having time to work. And then I had to give myself permission to rent the house. Now I'm going to become a landlord. I've never been a landlord before. No one gave me the landlord booklet. I figured it out on my own, spent a year being a landlord, and now I just told them that I was going to sell the house.
So now I'm going to sell the house. Now, You can't find one person who agrees that I should sell the house. Everyone's like, Oh no, you hold on to real estate and Los Angeles forever. I don't want to own the house anymore. I don't want it. I want more open head space. So I'm making a decision to open the door to a new journey.
That I'm not sure what's going to be in it yet, but I do know this is something that it this cycle is over So I think we get as women we need to listen to when cycles are over We hold on to things for so long because we think we're supposed to hold on to it forever We finally accomplished this massive dream and now we have to sit in it for the rest of our lives No, the dream is over.
You did it Hash out Move on, go to the next stream because it's waiting for you. It's waiting for you. So that was a long story, but that's really one of the most potent experiences I'm currently having and I've written a lot about it because there's so much in there to talk about.
Well, and, and that idea of letting things go is so important.
And like the, I've had to coach a client recently through. giving their business up.
They're like, we've made it. And they're like, I have a secret. I don't want it anymore. Just like your house. . And I was like, this doesn't need to be a dirty secret. People sell businesses all the time.. Close businesses all the time.
If you don't want it anymore, there's so many options for what that has to look like. And I think that's where we get stuck sometimes. And when people can't see all the options, like I do think one of my superpowers is seeing possibilities and what things can be. And I imagine. You have that skill as well with like all the ways a book could go and all the ideas and not just thinking, cause most people come to me and say, I either keep the business or sell the business and that's it.
And I'm like, Oh my gosh, there's 500 ways we could actually create this if you want it. So I love that you're giving these examples of how. You're listening to yourself and being like, this is what I want. We'll figure out a way that makes sense to me and me exclusively. And then we'll move on to the next thing.
Because every time that I have hung on to something longer than I was supposed to, it made it real painful,
really, and you have to go through that pain because in those P in the pain are those lessons. And I know like, now that I've made the decision to, to take this action. Is it easy? No, selling a house is 400 pounds of paperwork.
But if I gave up now, then I'd have to just restart again. So now I have to go through like the hardest, the hardest part. And, you know, we just have to give ourselves permission to like evolve and to change. You know, when I moved from that house into, I bought a condo. So now I'm a second homeowner as a single woman, which is like blowing my mind.
I, Then was like, Oh, well, now I have two properties. I have to work in my bedroom. Now, I told myself I would never work in my bedroom. I hate working at home. I am not one of those people that's happy to work at home. I need an office, but I had convinced myself I had already, I had, I, I had accumulated too much.
I couldn't possibly hold myself. And about a year into working in my bedroom, I was depressed. Like this was depressing. Like I didn't even want to get dressed. I was like, I have to go from my bed to my desk. This is awful. And I literally called a friend and I said, you know, you're one of those like executive assistants, this is always like on top of stuff and whatever.
I'm not asking you to do the job for me, but if you think of any like office space near me, that would be great. They'll just let me know. So now I've said, I'm done. I can't take it anymore. I need to make a change. I, I kid you not, she texts me back, I was in an office in three hours walking distance from my house for the price I needed.
It was, and the thing was, is if I had hedged. I wouldn't be in this office right now, but because I knew I had to jump on the, that was such a gift and a miracle at a synchronicity that was coming from me finally standing up and saying, this is the change I need. I'm ready. Everything appeared for me. I still had to write a check for an entire year of rent.
I still had to have. Thousands of dollars and I still had to be willing to write it without blinking an eye. So you got to like show up, but it was pretty amazing when I made the decision. And now I'm like, why would I ever have? I look at my bedroom like, yeah, right. I would know. That's just for me. That's my choice.
So if other people have different scenarios, then they could apply them and see where it brings them relief in their life.
So you have been mastering. Listening to yourself and taking actions. And as we know, when we listen to ourselves, it's amazing. What shows up when we ask for things, it's amazing. What shows up and how have you been listening to yourself to expand and add another layer to the way that you are serving people and women in particular?
Oh, God, that is such a good question. I'm trying to think of the best way to say, I mean, you know, this, you help build businesses and you have your own businesses, so you know that when you're starting a business, you, and I don't want to say this, like, so anybody that was an early client thinks I'm like putting them down, but you kind of take everybody, you don't have a, like an idea of like a hundred percent what your ideal client needs or what your.
gift is specifically in the marketplace, right? Like how am I a different book coach than other book coaches? How am I a different public? Like, what is it about my personality? How is it that I show up? So I, I really, my criteria was just, I'm going to help you with a book. I mean, and now I find that the
On several occasions, it's not just book coaching. Does that make, it's, it's not You're coaching the person, not the book. It's not life coaching, but it's sort of like, I see what you're going through, and I'm wondering if maybe there might be a different alternative route for you. And it's, it's, sometimes it's in their personal life.
You know, Because I've done so much personal development work on myself and therapy and everything that if people are open to Sometimes what I see then then then there's those conversations I have a good ability to deal with conflict Even though I hate conflict, which is so ironic that I can hold space and I think this comes from the entertainment business having a lot of people melt down on you and be really unscrupulous and just really like lunatics that you learn to just be like, you know, really, really hard.
I did have to break down that shell because that wasn't healthy. But I think when someone's having a meltdown, I have a good capacity to be like, okay, let's, let's. Take, let's talk this through. Let's, you know I'm tough, but I'm nice, and that is an interesting combination for people. So, in terms of like what I'm hearing about their, from their, about them from their story, the one thing that's changed that I'm in my ninth year of book coaching, I don't 100 percent agree that someone should just write a book for their own benefit anymore.
I used to think that was okay, I would have a hard time being with clients who, like, just want to write it and just, like, put it down, just say they did it. I want to see them, like, doing something with it, talking about it, and I, and I, and I listen to where their passions lie for their book, and I try to push them towards, that direction.
Like how exciting would it be if this happened? How exciting would it be if that happened? Have you thought about contacting this person? Have you thought about what it would be like if you went on a limb and tried this? Have you thought about this, like pushing them? That is way beyond book coaching. So I I'm listening more to who they are and what it is that they'd want to do and be With the book beyond the book.
Mm hmm. I it's one of my core methodologies for helping people with their businesses because we have a high success rate of helping people double their revenue
and so much of it comes from that space Of wait, why are you doing this business? What's it really for? I have this three wise kind of practice we go through.
And just like you were saying, like that alignment that you've been able to click into with yourself, but I can help a client click into their alignment with their business. Suddenly things just move,
right?
It moves with the team. It moves with clients or customers. And I think that's what you see in people with their book.
Like, and, and also for me, like being heart centered is one of my core values for how I'm kind of vetting clients and there's scalability and longevity when you're doing it for. Someone else. And it's different because if you just want to have a business to own a business, like buy a laundromat,
but then there's that story of that young couple who bought a laundromat and changed an entire community around it because they knew that a laundromat was where.
community members hung out and it could be bigger than a laundromat. And so like, I love when people are, want to have the, the layers in
I'm glad that you're listening to your instincts and intuition about it. Like, I believe if you see it, you have to say something, not just at the airport. So like, you're seeing this in people and you can't step over it anymore because the voice in your head's going, say something, say something, you can.
Right. Right. Exactly. Exactly. No, I agree. Yeah, I agree.
Mm hmm. Well, what are you excited about for this year?
Oh well, I am working on my second book I give you permission to be happy and wealthy women. And I feel like it's a, it's, it's a, it's a needed book in the marketplace. So I'm looking forward to getting that out there.
I'm looking forward to more expansion of my own column that I write. I'm, you know, coaching, you know, seven authors right now who all are going to be done with their books this year. And that's going to be very exciting to see them, you know, start publishing or look for agents. And I love when there's like a graduating class.
I have a couple little companies that I'm thinking about starting that are not book coaching. And so I'm dabbling a little bit and maybe exploring starting those which is like you said in the beginning of this podcast Are you going to be a book coach for the rest of your life? Maybe, because it's part of my permission piece.
I give you permission to write a book. Is it going to be the only thing I do? I'd like to move more into this space of people having permission to do lots of creative things in their life. Lots of expansion. So I think there's going to be some interesting reinvention going on. I'm taking my first international trip with my romantic partner to Japan.
I'm extremely excited about that. It's my first romantic international trip since 2002. So that's a big milestone. And just living like a really big, full, exciting life. Every day I wake up wondering what's next and being excited about it and not scared of it. That's really what I'm looking for and asking my clients to wake up every day and not be scared of what their books are doing, but be really excited about what this like journey that they've started and be like really excited about it.
I, I, it's so clear as we're going through this podcast. And I want to preface how we actually met because this is a core thing. I want people listening to here. We were at a lunch for this kind of VIP group at the conference. We were, I was sitting at one table and the whole reason I was there was to network and meet new amazing people.
So I forced myself to eat quickly and get up and go to another table.
I just happened to sit down next to you.
Yeah. And
We never know who we're going to meet or talk to or be in line next to. And you know, this goes right in line with what you were talking about, like being excited about things. Like we spend so much time with our head down rushing between a to do list that we really don't give a shit about that.
We're not paying attention to all the. Coincidences that are happening in front of us, all the gifts, all the opportunities. And you're right. Just like your office space. Sometimes the gift comes by and you're like, Ooh, is that the gift I really want? And you're like, okay, we're going for it. We're doing this.
We're, we're, yeah, we're jumping in, but there's some, there's that just choosing to show up and see what's going to happen. Be into your, use your words, like be excited about it. I wish I had a magic wand to give permission to people to have just fun with
everything they're doing. It's it's why it's one of the four words of, of the business.
But it's shocking to me how much people. Are choosing anything other than the excitement and the fun and the awe of what's going on I shared a post on instagram recently where this guy basically said do we forget that we are on a rock spinning around? And like magic is happening every day that we do not understand like why wouldn't we also have magic in our own life?
And when we start to look for it It, you see it everywhere.
Everywhere. Everywhere. All the time. How like amazing it is. You know, my older daughter used to say to me when she was younger, and I don't know if she still feels the same way, she'd be like, mom, everything isn't like, everything isn't like a magical, you know, I don't, I don't remember what she'd say, but she's like, everything isn't a synchronicity.
I'm like, everything is, everything is. It's so much more fun to go through life that way, being like, whoa, did you believe that? That person put that person there. And then that person called me and then that person do that person. And that's so interesting. But if you're closed off, like you said, I mean, I can get really sucked in by my Google calendar and I can get really sucked in by the to do list on my phone, and I can get really sucked in by the grind.
And whatever I breathe and I say I will no longer succumb to this, then I find the most amazing breath and width in my life. Like I suddenly have all this like freedom to like do all these things that I really want to do. And all the other stuff either falls away or it figure, you know, you figure it out or you get to it when you can.
But we can get really caught up in that like, Oh, that really just mindless grind. And it's just not where all the synchronicities and miracles happen.
No. And, and like just the being the yes, right? We talked like, like we're talking about the podcast, like I want to be on it. I'm like, yes. And then to have this conversation and discover in so many other ways that we're aligned in how we're kind of shooting out our energy into the world.
Like it just, it, this is why I'm doing the podcast. This is why I'm making the choices I am. So it also gives me relief knowing that. There are women like you in the world who are caring at such huge levels for your clients and also being like, take my magic wand just for a day. Like, please, please take it because like it, there's just, it can feel so overwhelming.
But when you realize how many incredible other people are. On that, a similar mission, it shifts how you feel about the work you have to do and that you don't have to be turned a hundred percent all the time. Having a company called powerful ladies, there are plenty of days that I'm like, I don't want to be powerful.
And I don't get to choose that anymore. So It's similar to what Ben was saying at the conference about his alarm. He's like, I'm not going to let mom down. And I'm like, I can't, I can't, I don't get to choose anymore if I'm powerful or not. There are days when I'm less, but I don't, it's not a choice. It's just a thing.
And I would challenge that and say, you're not less, you're just a different version of powerful that particular day. There's a lot of power and being okay and saying, I'm tired, I'm grumpy. I want to curl up like in a cocoon in my bed. That's okay to admit that.
Thank you. Yeah. Giving myself grace.
We're going to be working on that for a long time. That's right. We ask everyone on the podcast, where you put yourself on the powerful lady scale. If zero is average everyday human and 10 is the most powerful lady you could imagine, where would you put yourself today and on an average day?
Oh, wow. I'd say I'm about an eight.
Yeah, I definitely feel I'm in a really solid place in my life and I feel like there's a lot of power Yeah,
love it. We've also been asking everyone. What can we do for you? What can we help you manifest big small? What do you need? How can we help?
I think that, you know, I'd like my next book to be really impactful.
And I'd like my first book to reach a lot of abuse survivors. So I, I guess really it's just more eyes on the content that I'm producing as an author in my column. And having people know more about permission and the permission piece.
Yeah. Do you, have you heard of Waymakers?
No.
So I just got connected by them.
We're going to do a powerful conversation with them because they work with abusers and trauma victims.
Wow.
And they would be a great group to get your book to.
Oh my God. I would love an introduction. Yeah.
Okay.
It's . Waymakers.
Yeah. Okay.
Yeah.
I'd love an introduction.
We just had Emma, one of the like local people at the happy hour we hosted last week, and we will be doing a powerful conversation with a handful of people from that group talking about. Bye. everything they cover from human trafficking to abuse to, they, they showed up within a very short amount of time, like less than an hour at even the shooting in Vegas to work with trauma victims. Which I was surprised by how fast and like how, how wide their trauma and abuse net is. But
wow, that's a great group.
And then the CASA group would also probably be great as well too. Yes.
I've heard of CASA before.
Yeah, I'm on their, the Orange County chapter, I'm on their like fundraising committee.
Oh, wow. That's amazing.
So then I'll also, yeah, because I have this 21 session series that's free, that's completely available at any time for anyone to do that goes through all the chapters of my book.
And each one is taught with another woman author who's also comes from abuse and like, it's anonymous. So anybody can go on there and just do all 21 of the modules and it literally will teach you how to like, have a life. In a thriving life from a survivor point of view.
Love that. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, it has been such a pleasure to speak with you today. For everybody who wants to work with you, have you be their book coach, who wants to talk to you about survivorship and what's next for them, where can they find you, follow you, and connect with you?
Absolutely my website's, kim O'Hara dot com and I also have kim O'Hara books.com, which is where my books are, and my Instagram is Kim O'Hara coach and Kim O'Hara books.
So I keep it really simple and you can always DM me. I'm really good with dms. Or you can email me at Kim at Kim O'Hara. com.
Well, thank you so much for sharing your power and your story with us today. This truly has been a great session. Thank you. Thank you so much.
All the links to connect with Kim, find her books, work with her and more are in our show notes at thepowerfulladies. com. Subscribe to this podcast, wherever you're listening, and please leave us a rating and review. Join us on Instagram at powerful ladies or at Kara underscore Duffy. And you can also find me at Kara Duffy. com. I'll be back next week with a brand new episode. Until then, I hope you're taking on being powerful in your life. Go be awesome and up to something you love.
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