Episode 27: Finding Integrity, Humor, and the Right Insurance | Jenna Adamo | Commercial Insurance Expert & Advocate
Jenna Boutin Adamo is a wife, mother of two young boys, and one of Kara’s closest friends. She’s a firecracker with a quick wit, a big heart, and a commitment to speaking up for what’s right even when it’s uncomfortable. Over her 16 years in the same insurance company, she’s built a career she never expected to love, proving that fulfillment can show up in unexpected places. In this conversation, Jenna opens up about life as a working mom, the messy realities of breastfeeding, and why maintaining your integrity in any competitive field is a victory worth fighting for. You’ll hear the friendships, laughter, and occasional sass that make Jenna unforgettable, along with practical advice on the insurance you really need and the ones you can skip.
“Maintaining your integrity in a competitive landscape, whatever that competition is, is hard. Its very hard. And if you can do it, that’s a victory.”
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Follow along using the Transcript
Chapters:
00:00 Meet Jenna Adamo: Mom, wife, friend, and insurance pro
01:15 Growing up in Maine and early influences
04:20 College life at Clark University
07:10 First steps into the insurance industry
10:45 Finding unexpected career fulfillment
13:20 Speaking up for what you believe in
16:15 Lessons from 16 years in one company
18:40 Balancing motherhood and career demands
21:30 The realities of breastfeeding and going back to work
24:50 Why integrity matters in competitive industries
28:15 Travel stories: New Zealand and Costa Rica
31:00 Favorite traditions, from LL Bean to Nantucket Reds
33:45 Insurance essentials: what you need, what you don’t
37:20 Navigating personal and business coverage
40:15 Advice for building a purpose-driven career
43:30 Humor, friendship, and finding your people
46:00 Final thoughts and takeaways from Jenna
Maintaining your integrity in the, in the, in a competitive landscape, whatever that competition is, is hard. It's very hard, and I think if you could do it, that's a victory.
That's Jenna Adamo and this is The Powerful Ladies Podcast.
Hey guys, I'm your host, Kara Duffy, and this is The Powerful Ladies Podcast where I invite my favorite humans, the awesome, the up to something, and the extraordinary to come and share their story. I hope that you'll be left, entertained, inspired, and moved to take action towards living your most powerful life.
Jenna Boot Adamo is a wife, mother and one of my best friends. She's a firecracker. She's wicked smart and an everyday social justice warrior. On this episode, we talk about how she found career fulfillment in the last place she thought possible. Why? We need everyone to speak up for what you believe in and why breastfeeding is for the birds.
Also, super exciting. We dive into the all the different types of insurance you need and the ones you can't ignore. All that, and so much more coming up. But first, hello beautiful listeners. Welcome back to The Powerful Ladies Podcast. We're so glad to have you here. Do you know the number one thing that you can do to keep this podcast going and to help us get more kudos out in the world and to have more people know about us?
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Well, thank you so much for being on The Powerful Ladies Podcast. Thank you for having me. How about we start by letting everyone know who you are, introduce yourself, and what you're up to in the world.
My name is Jenna Adamo. Um, a lot of people though know me as Jenna Putin, which is my maiden name, and even to this day I still have folks that I work with and also college friends and high school friends call me Putin.
So never, we'll never quite lose that, which is okay, and it's now legally my middle name. So. It's still legit. And, um, I am a new mom of two boys, um, two years old and six months old, so that's been the newest thing in my life. Um, but I'm a wife and probably not equal most importantly, but equally importantly is, um, I'm a career woman, which I really love about my life and the balance that it gives me on the home front.
Um, I've worked for the same insurance company now for, it'll be 16 years in July. That's crazy. Which is kind of an anomaly. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I, I've seen a lot of peers, um, you know, either move to different companies, either within the industry or in other industries. And, um, I've just been so fortunate to have found, um, value and both for myself and have felt valued, I guess.
Yep. At the company that I work for. So
it's been really good. And I think too, we've had so many discussions on this podcast so far about. Like practical tips that people need for their life and their business. And so I promised people, uh, after I had, I'd asked you to be a guest, that we would have someone who was insurance savvy that we could ask some of the questions to.
And I realized how perfect it is because you were already a yes to being on the podcast. And then those requests came up and I'm like, yes, we can have someone that we can ask the questions to and we can get some, you know, solid advice from. So I'm really excited about that part too.
Oh, cool. No, that's awesome.
I'm glad I can help.
Yeah, so for everyone out there listening, Jenna is one of my best friends from college. Um, we, it's amazing to me how this can happen because I went from never knowing who you were to within one week being like, I'll know this person for the rest of my life. And like, I, I have such distinct memories of the first like week or month that I met you because we were at Clark University there early for field hockey preseason, and you are such a dynamic character that everyone knew who you were pretty quickly because you're just, Jenna.
Like, I don't, like, I don't even know what words to use to describe you sometimes because like you're so succinct in telling people exactly what you think and not in a, in a mean way. It's just like you're very good at what's so like this is the deal, this is what's going on. And like, it's, it's very, I think it's very charming.
Most people do. And you're just such, well, thanks. Yeah, of course. Um, and you're just such an amazing human being. You were one of the like first powerful ladies that I met, uh, who was a peer of mine. And it's made, you've made such an impact in me in the sense of like how you ask people questions to make them feel important and how you stand up for yourself and how you live a life on your own terms versus the terms that everyone else might have in mind.
So thank you for being that. Well, thank you. Saying of course, realized. As I keep moving around the world that I have Jenna. But see, I still call you Jenna Butin in my head too. I have, it's, it's totally fine. I have, I have Jenna vocabulary that is permanent into my personal vocabulary now. Like a shepherd.
That's nice. And Agi Yes. And uh, proper planning prevents poor performance. Um,
that's my dad. I can't, I can't, uh, take credit for Bill Putin for that one, but thanks. Yeah, course, that's a good one. Of course, I did an entire blog post
about what that means and how important it is in life. But like, I'll say something and Jesse will be like, what did you just say?
I'm like, what do you mean? You dunno what that is? Like, everyone knows. He's like, I think that's an East Coast word. I'm like, it might be a main word that I have adopted. Oh, that's awesome. So let's start by telling people like where you grew up and, you know, how did you end up at Clark University?
Yeah, I grew up, um, in a small town called Sydney, Maine, which is, I guess for folks not familiar with Maine, it's near Augusta, which is our capital.
So if you're still not sure, it's about an hour north of Portland, Maine, which is legitimately like the coolest town. Um, so just to kind of break it down for you there. And, um, I always knew I wanted to go to college outside of Maine. Um, granted I only went to college in Massachusetts, two and a half hours away, but it was still definitely not in Maine.
And I think the reason was I felt like, um, you know, the world had more to offer me than what I had seen so far. And I also really wanted to play field hockey and knowing that I wasn't the best field hockey players and I, that really narrowed down my CHO choices to, you know, a smaller liberal arts D three program.
And so, um, actually a good friend of, well, yours too, Kara. Janet, yep. A girl who, um, I went to high school and college with, and incidentally we both live in the same town now, which is really funny. She and I did our college visits together and she def, I definitely wrote on her coattails as far as like getting to entree to the coaches mm-hmm.
Because she was way better at field hockey. Um, but I'm grateful to her for kind of bringing me along for the ride. And, um, so we toured a few schools and both ended up really liking Clark, um, and. Hit it off with our coach and you know, where it was asked to play to try out at least, you know?
Mm-hmm.
So kind of the rest is history there.
As far as, um, never thought I would go to school in Worcester. Like, it wasn't like on my top 10 list of schools, like when I was like dreaming about where to go to college. But to this day, it holds a very dear place in my heart. Not only because of my college years, um, but because um, the home office for the company I work for is there too.
So I actually find myself there, um, more often now, um, than I ever thought I would be even after we graduated. So, kind of funny, I place feel lucky and honestly after college, um, and making awesome friends and, um, kind of, you know, really loving, you know, being on my own and having that like autonomy. I never honestly thought I would move back to Maine and then my insurance career has ha gave me that path.
And, um, so moving back to the Portland area, was the right fit for someone? Um, you know, young, fun and single or whatever. And, um, I don't live too far from Portland now, but it definitely was a good town to kind of serve my needs at the time and a good way to kind of, you know, be a big girl, but not into too overwhelming of a city either.
Right?
So when people dream about their careers in life, insurance is not one that usually comes up when you ask a 10-year-old or a 20-year-old, like what their dream career is. Oh, no, really? No. Are you sure? May. Maybe I'm asking the wrong people. Um, but it's a career that so many people have and so many people find fulfillment and satisfaction in, so when I met you, you wanted to either be a lawyer or go into like international relations type stuff.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Where you could use all of your communication skills and, and policy and debating abilities to make the world a better place, which I think, mm-hmm. Really interestingly, you've actually found in insurance, which I don't think you thought was an opportunity because, um, me, me becoming employed by this company wasn't your first exposure to insurance either.
That is very true. I thought for sure, like after, um, undergrad, I would go to law school, like that was my plan or whatever. Obviously that's not what happened, but interestingly enough, insurance, an insurance policy is a contract and so you have to be able to understand the pieces of that in order to help, you know, put together the right coverage for an insured, um, and also help talk to somebody about, you know, what it is that they're buying and what they're getting for coverage.
So I sort of fulfilled that need without having to go to law school. I understand like contractual risk transfer and, and things like that that, you know, sounds super boring on the face, but actually have a lot of meaning to people. And if you like, gave an example, I think you'd be like, oh, that's what that is.
Mm-hmm.
Um. No, to your point, you know, the insurance industry as a whole, we've not done a good job making it sexy. I mean, you see the Allstate commercials and the Geico commercials and the progressive commercials, and that's all fine, but that's not real, really where the action is, in my opinion. It's really in the commercial, um, space, which is what I've always worked in.
And um, yeah, so for a long time I kind of was that like problem solver, you know, help the person figure out the insurance contract role. Um, basically taking on risk for the company I work for as an underwriter. Um, and it's something that my mother, who is an insurance agent. An independent insurance agent, um, always told me I'd be really good at being a commercial lines underwriter.
I'm like, mom, I don't know what that is. And then once we figured out that the company I, you know, just happened to start working for, had, you know, a training program related to it, um, she was like, you need to get into that. You need to get into that. I'm like, fine, mom and I did it. And that's actually what afforded me the opportunity to move back to Portland, Maine.
Um, and, and I loved it. I, she was right. I hate to say it, but Donna, you were right. And, uh, so I did that for like 10, 12 years and then now I'm in a role where, um, I help the business unit that I was underwriting for with like a lot of training, learning and quality things. And um, and I actually manage the trainee program now 16 years later.
So it's kind of funny, um, because I got into a little bit of trouble as a trainee. Nothing bad, but um. The irony is funny 'cause the woman at the time that ran the training program wanted me thrown out. And uh, fortunately I had some powerful women in my corner that were like, no, she's fine. She just screwed up that one time.
So thank God,
which, but yes, which doesn't surprise me because you, you are one of the smartest people I know. And you are one of those smart people who like isn't going to tolerate dumb things. Like if something is a rule, but it's a dumb rule, you're like, no, we're gonna fight this and change this. And I have opinion about it.
And at the same time, you're also really great at like balancing things, being serious and also being fun and Well, thanks. Yes. You're just, you're, you're one of those fire starter people where there's nothing malicious behind what you're doing. It's just more like, no, that doesn't make sense.
Yeah. Thank you.
I, that's how I feel a lot of the time is like, I'm not trying to stir the pot, but like, this doesn't make sense. Like, I get everyone's comfortable here, but this isn't working. Yeah. So what can we do to change it? Yeah.
And I, um, I appreciate that that's been a reoccurring theme in since I've known you, that you really are, um, in like undercover social justice warrior fighting for the things in your own, like in your own space, right?
Because there's people who think about like, the big changes, like, we have to stop hunger. And you're, and I love that you're like, we're gonna stop everything. That's dumb. That's in my path. Like, that's just not gonna work for me. And I, I wish that more people looked at the things that are very close to their own life and were like, um, okay, I have a list.
We're gonna fix these things and then we can talk about being awesome again.
Yeah, it's funny you say that 'cause uh, actually, um, a friend of mine just posted something on her Facebook page and I forget, I'm gonna screw up the saying, but it was like if a lot of people, if little people did little things.
It was like this, like basically the whole mantra of if everyone just like kind of what you said, you know, stuck to impacting their own immediate surroundings and experience in a positive way. If everyone took like that on, then that would likely roll up into, you know, just a better, like, world experience.
Probably. Hundred percent. That sounds very, you know, right. It sounds like really heady or, or, you know, kind of, um, glib. But it's true. I think, um, a lot of people, you just, they just don't care, you know, about fairness or 'cause it doesn't apply to them. And I, I can't, I can't do that. I could never sit by and just watch something like really heinous happen and not say something I couldn't do it.
Can't do it.
No. And, and, and, um, it's, it's taught me like you have taught me to be a voice way more than I think I would have been without you coming into my life. Because even on small things that. Um, like, I think prior to meeting you, I was very naturally, like I would see things and I was like, I, I'm more shy than people give me credit for and mm-hmm.
I would see it and things would upset me and I'd be like, oh, like I don't like that. And it would have to be really big for me to say something and then you showing me that. Like, no, like we can all say something like, let's just say something now, like, this is dumb. And I'd be like, oh fuck, we can say something right now.
Awesome. So, well, I'm so glad I, yeah, and it's, I don't
know where it comes from either. It's so funny because I've been thinking about this a lot. Well, no, because, um, I mean, you know, you know, my family and for those that don't, I come from a family of three, three girls and we're all relatively close in age and we're still, you know, all really good friends.
We actually all each had two kids within four years of each other. So, um, you know, we're very much aligned in a lot of our life experiences and in our own way, we're all that outspoken. Like, and, and it's funny 'cause I don't think of my parents as outspoken people, but I also think that they just, they never, I mean obviously they said no to us, but they never said no to like that type of thinking or expression.
Um, they never stifled that. And I think that's maybe what allowed. That to emerge in me, I guess. I'm not sure. Yeah. It's funny because it's not like my parents were like out, you know, um, protesting or, you know, we had heavy political discussions or like sense of duty in the world or, you know, stuff like that.
It's just, I don't know. I just had this, yeah. I don't know.
They're both very powerful people in their own way of like, they, it's not like they blend into the wall when we're in the room. Right. Like they True, they have a presence and they have confidence and they have opinions on things. And the best way, honestly for me to describe it is actually aism, which is like, they're not afraid to say where the bear shits in the buckwheat.
Yes. That's another Bill Boin saying and Right. That is a, that's a gem
right there.
Yeah. Right. It's true. But, but that's like, they, they're not afraid to say how it is whether you're gonna like it or not and Right. You know, I, it's funny to me because. When I think about what life was like growing up in the Northeast, there is a level of common discussion and debate that is part of normal everyday conversation.
And it, you see it through different generations. Like if people are having coffee or at a breakfast place, or you're at a dive bar, like, sure, we're talking about everyday normal bullshit all the time, but there's also a level of, it's not weird to have a discussion of significance that's not significant.
Right. I hear. Yep. I know what you mean. Yep. So,
so it's not weird to like run into, you know, you name it and talk about politics over a beer or to have conversations with your family about something that's happening in the community or in the world and, and for people to share their opinions. And you don't even have to agree like, there's the Right, I really respect, especially New England, the approach of like debating for the sense of like, I love this understanding.
Yes, yes. I found an amazing definition that has stuck with me, which is about, um, like having a discussion is thinking together. Yes. I like that. Yes. Right. And, and to me that's how I feel like that's just what's encouraged, um, through the community. And that's, you know, I would say that your family is the same way.
Like there's nothing off limits for you guys to talk about. Um, even if it might cause other people didn't grow up that way to get a little red in the cheek sometimes. Yep. I think that's,
yeah. So you're right. Yeah. I think I just have, you know, taken that spirit or that license, if you will, and just, I've always just pushed it in my life.
Yes, yes. And you know, it's really funny in like thinking about doing this podcast with you. Yeah, I was thinking about, um, I think it was when I helped drive the Duffy's to Colorado, I think it was then, or it was when I visited another time. But anyway, it doesn't really matter. But, um, I just remember. Uh, it was you, me and your mom talking about, I don't know.
We're just talking and I looked at your mom and I was like, well, I'm gonna have balls when I grow up.
Yes.
And I meant like. Gala balls, you know, like dress up fun, fancy throw, you know, spend a lot of money because I thought it was gonna make like a ton of money. Yeah. And you know, I'm not doing too bad, but I'm not throwing balls.
Let's just say that. Not yet, but what's in, but right. Not yet. But what's interesting though is I, but I, I wanna tell your mom now, like I do have balls, Wendy. There's just not those types.
Yeah. 'cause she thought that you meant when I grew up, I'm gonna have a set of balls. And she was like, all right, you go girl.
Like you, yes. You can have that and Yeah. Total like, but I do. Those are the ones I have now. So, you
know,
she called it, it's funny
though, 'cause like the, the look, she totally did, but the look on her face when I said that was priceless.
Oh yeah. I mean the. You have been one of those friends that has visited at every house that my parents or I have lived in, which I think really speaks volumes to, um, your sense of adventure and how much my family loves you and that you're just part of your, your other, you're another sister at some point, right?
So there's been definitely so many Duffy Jenna exchanges that have left lasting memories on the entire family. Um, you know, just partly because you're not afraid to just say what you're thinking. So that's often entertaining because it can be, you know, slightly adjusted in context and have like 18 other meanings to it.
Right?
Yeah. When you look back at, um, at your life so far, especially, you know, prior to being married and prior to being a mom, are there victories that you can share with us that have really kind of impacted how you live your life today?
Victories,
I mean, or things you've overcome, which I would consider a victory.
Yeah, no, and I appreciate you asking that. I mean, this is gonna sound awful, but like, I don't, I can't think of any specific, like, I think of people around me who have had it like really rough and have like pushed through and I think, God, you know, if I, if my biggest complaint was that I didn't get to, you know, do something I wanted to do or something like that, like that's not a big deal.
Um, I think I've just been really fortunate in my life to, um. To not have anything that's been like really arduous or awful to process. I mean, I certainly lost some people in my life that that was really hard. But I mean, not to discount that, but everybody has. Yeah. You know what I mean? And that person wasn't somebody like my, a sibling or a parent, um, or anything like that.
It, you know, so, um, I guess I, I, I can't think of anything that I'm like, yeah, I worked super hard through that, and then better for it on the other side. I mean, I think I, well, I guess I will say a couple of things. One is, is not even so much like an actual, like, event or, um, uh, process.
Mm-hmm.
But I think, um, holding the line in, in, again, relating back to work, like in the position that I was in.
Um, I guess really maintaining a line of integrity around what I was doing. And it's not to say that others in my company, um, or even in in my office, were, were not doing that. But in, from a competitive standpoint, it's tempting to, um, you know, not, it, it's tempting to take the easy way and not the right way.
Mm-hmm.
And you can't do that. And I think, um, I could have taken the easy way and maybe made some sales goals, you know, and that would've been great from a bonus standpoint, but that would never have felt right to me.
Yeah.
Um, so I guess I could say that, um, and honestly, I think it, just to kind of relate that back not hitting my sales goals was some was, you know, not.
Thrown as a mark against me. But I know when people considered me for, you know, higher roles or, or, uh, roles ahead of what I was doing, um, as being something like, huh, why hasn't she made her sales goal? And, but that I, but to me it wasn't like I should do that so I can get ahead. Like, I was like, if that's the way I have to get ahead, like that's not the right way.
Mm-hmm. Um, so I guess I would say just having that continuing, like having that integrity even when it could have been tempting not to, is something for me that I'm very proud of. Um, I think it's defined who I am as a partner, um, on, on variety of things, whether I'm your friend, your spouse, your, you know, parent, your sister.
And also I think it's really brought in, VA brought value to the current role that I have because people now can see, oh, I get maybe why she didn't make her sales goal 'cause she was doing the right thing on X, Y, and Z. 'cause she clearly knows her shit. Yep. You know, so I think, I guess that would be one thing that I'd say is.
You don't have, I guess, necessarily have to have like a struggle, but, but maintaining your integrity in the, in the, in the competitive landscape, whatever that competition is, is hard. Yeah. It's very hard. And I think if you could do it, that's a victory. So
I also think that you should give yourself credit for like always standing up for what you knew you deserved, even if it didn't feel like it in the moment.
Like in the long run, like you've always been a stand for what you deserve in regards to a partnership in like relationship wise. Um, definitely like there's definitely been moments that have been hard on you, which I think everyone goes through, but you've always been committed to finding the partner that was going to be an equal and a true partner for you versus settling for anything else.
Yeah. And it's funny 'cause you're making me think back to,
um, oh, when I was with a, a boyfriend, we won't say his name and, um. We were, we went down to visit you and we were at the BHP super fun Beacon Hill Pub and yep. Beacon Hill Pub. Sorry for those that don't know. And um, I got super wasted and got into some stupid fight with said boyfriend and like took a cabin, like left him there with like you and others back to the hotel that we were staying at.
And, you know, it was, obviously I was, 'cause I had way too much to drink. He wasn't like the best guy either, but it was, I had way too much to drink. But that's like what we did. We partied that hard all the time. And I remember. You wrote me an email, um, like a couple days later and you were like, look, like this is not good for you.
Like, whatever's happening. Like, not you, Jenna, and you were very, um, direct and it was all out of concern, right? Yeah. And that actually made me reexamine that relationship. And I ended up breaking up with him like a month later. Um, not because, you know, Kara told me too, but you know what I mean? You, you really forced me to like think about what am I, what am I doing?
You know, like, is this sustainable? No. Is this guy in it for the long run? No. Like, does this feel good? No. You know, so I think even though like I try to, you know, take some of that on myself, obviously you still, it's, there's nothing, there's no substitute for a loved, for someone who loves you. Like seeing it for what it is and, and being brave enough to say something.
Um, so thank you for that. But to your point, yes, I've, I've never wanted to, I never settled. Um, I couldn't, I just was not gonna be what would happen for me.
No. And then, and it, and it's, yeah, you don't settle in any area of your life. So why would you in that big one?
Well, you know what's funny about that is I feel like I've settled a little bit in, um, and I don't, I guess, I don't know, maybe it's just myself being like having unrealistic expectations, but I can not seem to get back into like an exercise routine.
And it's not like, it's like I don't want to do it, but I just kind of don't want to do it even though I know it's the right thing to do. And I know that sounds like kind of silly. No, but that's something I feel like I'm settling on. Like, I'm like not pushing myself and it's like you have to, um, 'cause I had gestational diabetes with both my pregnancies and fortunately I don't have any issues with it now, but, but it could still type two could still creep up on me if I'm not good about like, eating and, and not being too overweight and not that I'm like, you know, super overweight right now, but I'm definitely not where I would like to be.
From a health standpoint, you know, in that regard, I'm, I'm healthy, I'm fine, but you know what I mean. But it's like, I know this in my head, but like, why can't I get it together to do it? Three things. And so that's kind of a weird thing for me.
Three things that popped into my mind. One that you watching you eat food is.
An, an experience on its own. Not that you are like mowing down and it's like disgusting, but you like really enjoy the food that you have. Like, and, and it's so funny 'cause I just realized now a connection because every time I sit down to eat with Jesse, I always ask him like, what do you think? And sometimes I ask him before he's taken a bite because I don't realize he hasn't taken a bite yet and he thinks I'm insane.
But I realize, I think it's because of have sharing so many meals with you where it would be weird if you didn't immediately talk about how you thought about the food. Like, like when you So true, right? So it's like you like really value the craft of the food. You really value what has been put into it and like.
You respect the whole process of like, food getting to your plate and now it tastes delicious and this is awesome and we're gonna talk about it. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. I love to eat. Right? It's like one of my favorites. Right? That was the one thing that popped into my head. But then the other two things are, um, I just saw a quote recently that I've put on a post-it and it's on my computer monitor, which is interested versus committed.
Like there are lots of things I'm interested in. There are very few I'm committed in, and you can tell by how I spend my time, which ones I'm committed to, and then, right. The what, um, I was talking about on a last podcast was how like when we evaluate what we compromise with ourselves on, it can be a really hard, like, like look in the mirror because we can really get upset with ourselves about the promises we make to ourself that we sacrifice for.
Other people's promises to themselves because we're so good at causing other people. But when it comes to what, like the things that we need in our life, it's like, damnit, I keep lying to myself that I'm gonna go to the gym, right? But I have the same gym issue because I really want to just feel stronger.
It's not even about mm-hmm. Um, weight necessarily. And I mean, the dilemma right now of saving every penny I can, while this is all getting to a place where it is providing income and right. Knowing that I am a, I am better at keeping my fitness commitments when I have a class to go to. Because it's not just a workout, it's an escape and it's a community.
Right. And when you're there,
you're
there. Yes. Like there's
not other things to distract you. Yeah. I agree with that.
Yeah. If I'm doing a workout in my living room, I can do it, and that means I got it done that day. But chances are like. My phone's ringing or bandit's jumping also on the yoga mat and trying to like figure out why I am rolling on the ground and there's, I can see the dishes and like, there's all these mental things, right, that are stopping me from getting the, the, you know, exercise high that I need to get back to my best mental state.
Right. So I hear you. What are you putting in motion to take that on? Or are you just, it's, you're just aware of it right now?
Yeah, it's more just like, I'm aware of it. Like, you know, part of it's like I just need to like get up at half an hour earlier. Is that really that hard? No, but I just like need to do it.
And Jesse, my Jesse is very supportive of, you know, if I ask for the time, he will give it to me. It's just, you know, I feel some guilt with that a little bit because it's like, you know, why should he have to take both boys, like while I go do this thing? But it's at the same time, it's like this thing is like helping me feel good mentally, which then.
Makes my experience with them better. So it's, you know, it's, it's kind of a catch 22.
Mm-hmm.
So it's more just, you know, working that out and, um, I don't think it'll get easier as they get, as my children get older, um, to, you know, either have them come with me to do that stuff or, you know, it'll just, I think it'll open opportunities up a little bit more to incorporate exercise more into my day.
Yeah. Um, but yeah, no, so I guess for now, it's really just something I'm aware of right now.
Yeah. It's, it's hard to, especially with the kids having crazy schedules and then working on top of that and, you know, you guys both working full-time. It's, it's a lot, it's a lot for all families. Yes, it is. It definitely is.
And it's not like you can take an, an infant and, and a toddler on a hike and like get something out of it besides chaos. Well, you can, but it would
take you as long to get ready to go on said hike as it would to actually do the hike. And then that's just like, no, you're not doing it.
Yeah. So shout out what, what else can I do A shout out and thank you to every gym facility that offers daycare because No kidding.
Mm-hmm. Yeah. So true. Um, as you, um, look back at your life growing up, I mean, you guys, your family has a beautiful house on a lake in Maine, and you grew up with a lot of the classic, you know, Maine experiences. Um, is there something that, you know, looking back, would've predicted the life that you have today and, and who you are as a person?
Yes, because I really. You know, as I get older, I really value that I grew up, like where I grew up and how I grew up. And because of, you know, I think back to when we were freshmen at Clark mm-hmm. For preseason and, um, it was like the second or third night and there was a shooting at the store, 24 across the street.
Oh yeah.
The only other time I'd heard gunshots was like during hunting season, like legit. Mm-hmm. Like, you know, I didn't, you know, I didn't have any exposure to that at all. And, um, and I, that to me, just especially nowadays, just becomes so much more valuable that I was least able to have some level of innocence in that way.
I think. Um, my mom, my parents, like, they didn't, they weren't strict, but they also didn't just let us do whatever we wanted either. And I think that's informed a lot of my choices as a parent. And the, the, um. You know, the person that I wanna be like, to your point, like you gotta get down to bras tack sometimes and be serious.
But at the same time, I still should try to have fun. And it's okay to be silly and goofy, you know, when it's appropriate. And I think, um, some of that has informed like, like how I handled myself today. And I think I, like I said, I went once, I said I thought like I'd never moved back to Maine. I think once I was here, um, got a little more maturity under my belt, you know, probably in like my mid twenties.
Like I knew that I wanted to like, raise kids here if I was gonna have kids. Like I didn't wanna leave.
Mm-hmm.
Um, I didn't. And um, and so I was, I'm very lucky to have found and my partner here and he also is committed to being here to raise our kids. Um, and but still, you know, I mean we live and it's funny too, 'cause both he and I grew up rurally.
He grew up in down east area, um, like, um. Kind of close to, um, bar Harbor ish.
Mm-hmm. Um,
a little south of Bar Harbor and, um, Penobscot is the name of the town and super, super sweet town. And actually his parents have a wonderful property on the Bagga River. Um, which actually incidentally is down the road from our friend Janet's family's compound that they have in this town.
So ridiculous. Me and Janet cannot get away from each other. Yeah, no, but in a good way. She and her family are awesome too. Um, but, and it's funny 'cause the house that we live in right now is on five and a half acres of land. You can barely see our neighbors. Um, but, but we're a mile from the, um, highway, like to go to work and we live like 20 minutes from Portland.
We like live in the town of Freeport, Maine, which is LL Bean's, um, hometown for, for those of you who may not know. And, um, so we kind of have the best of both worlds. We have lands like where we have trails and our neighbors are super cool and we can do all of that, but then we're not too far from like a good restaurant choice in shopping and things like that.
So we kind of split the difference of maybe wanting a little more in our day to day, like availability wise, like amenities, um, 'cause neither one of us grew up with that kind of stuff in our backyard. Um, but then to still kind of preserve like a little space in the world that's like just yours and that your kids can just go run outside and you don't have to worry about it.
Like, I, I think that to me is something I, I was very interested in before I had kids. And, uh, now that I have 'em, I'm like so hap so grateful that I do.
Yeah. Did you give me the original Preppy handbook or did you give me the second one? I think I gave you the second. You found the first one. I think I, yeah, in Colorado.
I think I, I was trying to remember if we found it together. I know that, like, I think of the Preppy Handbook, which is a awesome book. It first came out in the early eighties. It is everything. I thought that thing about like what it means to be preppy in that culture. And we used to laugh about it quite a bit because I found out when we were in college and then you found they did a re edition, uh, in the early two thousands that you gave me.
But like, thinking about LL Bean made me think about it because. You don't realize how immersive the preppy culture is in New England and what that means because you think preppy and you think of the stereotype of wearing salmon colored pants and a plaid polo shirt and you know those are called Nantucket Reds.
Excuse me. Yes. Nantucket Reds. Thank you. And like you think of that visual and like Lily Pulitzer whatever stuff, and there's actually so much more. Yeah, I don't own any Lily Pulitzer. No, nothing wrong with Lily Pulitzer,
but that's not the my vibe at all.
Right. And there's very different preppy, like Boston versus preppy Naples, Florida also, right?
Like the whole east coast has some of this preppiness built into it. But there's some, yeah, some of the cultural values that you cannot run away from, even if you wanted to, like I know that Christmas season has started when one, I get my yellow bean catalog, and two, I get. The Christmas letter that my friend Katie Blauer writes every year, um, which is so preppy and awesome about like, she recaps the family's entire year with their Christmas card and Yeah.
Yeah. I don't, I don't know another culture that does that, and I love it. Like it makes me so I have saved everyone she's ever written. I have like so many of them, but like, they're, oh my God, that's hilarious. Oh, yeah. And the pictures that they send are so good. 'cause she, um, and her husband are, are, they're both designers and creative.
So like every picture since they've been dating is priceless. Um, and now they have kids, so it just keeps getting better. Um, but what are, what are things that are ingrained in your life that could be considered preppy that are just everyday things? That's a good question. I think like.
I'm trying to remember like some of like the, the prep, but like basically anything I can monogram, I will monogram.
Their shit is monogrammed, like the stockings, the Pottery Barn chairs. Their frigging, I spent $60 a piece on Pottery Barn, Easter baskets. They're gonna use it one time a year for what? 10 years? If that. Yeah. And I, that's what I spent my, 'cause it looks good. I like the way it looks. I like, so it's like I, I kind of am like, um, and like I definitely am all about like the paper invitation that's really cute for the birthday invite and like, shit like that.
My sister found this, like, it's a, was like a, a list of um, like different, first like American first names and Jennifer was, the description was social as fuck. Um, decorates for every holiday. All of her kids' shit is monogrammed. And I'm like, yep, that's me. Wow. Nailed it. And yeah, I know it was nailed it. So it was like, it's really, so some of that stuff I still do like, and it's important to me, like, um, that you dress for an occasion.
'cause to me that's like a sign of respect.
Mm-hmm.
So like, you know, like my hu like, this is a very good like example. I mean, just like my husband doesn't hates wearing like suits or anything like that. Can't stand it. And by and large, we'd have no place where that you need to be wearing that. But, you know, we have, I've had a couple cousins get married and, um, we had a couple funerals, you know, and those were occasions to me where like, you need to wear a suit and as a man.
Mm-hmm. And, um, and we've, we've split the difference a little bit. But if not, for me, like insisting on it, he wouldn't really do it. And I think that that's sort of like a, I guess a, I don't if that's a preppy value, but like. For me, even though like my idea of like dressing up is a little different than it was, you know, 10 years ago, it's still like, I still want to like look nice for the occasion.
Mm-hmm. That matters to me. I think that that's important. Um, so I guess that's like one thing that like, I kind of drive. 'cause the rest of the time I'm in sweatpants and I'm totally cool. Yeah. But it's like if you have to go somewhere, then you need to look the part.
Well, and I think, you know, we both played field hockey, which is an automatic checkbox.
Um Right. Went to a liberal college checkbox. Um, and then Oh, you should
see. Yeah. And all, all I wear, I mean all I wear is LL bean, but I love me some not the l lb and like the traditional duck boots that everybody has, but like the, like the rain. They're not rain boots. What do they call? They're moccasins, I guess.
Like they're a lower cut of those. Yep. Wear those freaking things everywhere. Yep. Those are like my little light car, like commuter shoes.
Mm-hmm. Oh yeah. You and you, those are required when you live in an environment that has weather. Well, yeah, you have to. Mm-hmm. One of the funniest things I remember about, are you preppy on the question was do you have ducks or duck art in your house?
That's right. That's right. But I don't have any, I
don't think,
or a lighthouse, but,
but my parents, well, you gave me a lighthouse print. Yes. Um, I think that your aunt had painted. I think probably. Mm-hmm. I have so, well, you know, what I have is I have a huge ass, um, sea chart of Casco Bay.
There you go. So, yeah.
I'm fucking preppy as fuck right there.
And I have a sea, a framed sea chart of when we went to Norway, one of the, oh yeah. I don't know what island, what a part of, I don't know what it's part of. I can't, it's like Bergen, the northern part. Bergen, uh, no, it's, it's still, it was one, and remember we found it in Bergen in that weird old store that, you know, thinking back was like an insurance nightmare.
There's so much clutter in there, you'd never know how to get out. Mm-hmm. The antique shop, I found it. I found it in there. Um, so, and it was just a C chart and where I haggled with the guy a little bit to like, not pay as much as he wanted for it. So I don't actually know where it is.
Yes.
But I, but anyway, but yes, that kind of stuff I think I love
Oh yeah.
Yep. And there's things you just can't even avoid, but you are like, how, I didn't even know how this happened. Um, they just show up. It's true. Mm-hmm. Yep. I will include the links to the preppy, both preppy handbooks on the Powerful Ladies website and I'll also put together the a preppy checklist of our own that you can get in our quick start guides.
'cause you're gonna wanna know if you are or not. Um, just for fun, if nothing else. Um, exactly. Um, so let's talk a little bit about like you and traveling, because you have been one of my favorite people to travel with and we've done, uh, lots of Europe together. We've been in California and a lot of different trips, um, things across New England.
Um, what has travel meant for you and, and. You know, how has making it a priority impacted your life?
Um, travel for me, I, I love it. Um, and it's sad because I haven't done enough of it since becoming a mom, which I think is maybe just the normal thing, but, um, well, some of it's money and some of it's time, unfortunately.
But before all of that, yeah. And I will say no, if I had not met you, I don't think I would have traveled to all the places that I had, or I think I would've had more cookie cutter experiences and not, like, done more local things in the places I went to. Mm-hmm. So for that to, I, I'm grateful because just watching your plan, things that we did for me, like whenever I'm gonna go to someplace new, I'm gonna make sure it's that type of experience and not like, you know, you have to go to these like.
Spots. I mean, there's some of that, right? Like you have to go see some, some things that are, makes the place known or famous. Um, you know, if not to even just pay respect if it's like a landmark or a piece of art or something.
Yeah.
But I think, you know, to have more of that local experience is something that, that makes it so much more enjoyable.
Um, so yeah, and actually when, so, and I think, you know, traveling too for me was like. Yeah, you should plan to wanna go somewhere, but you know, just by knowing you, you always kind of gave me the place to go. Um, which was kind of funny. Um, but I also think like taking that opportunity to, to go is, is huge.
Like, sometimes people don't think of it and um, like I had a really good friend, she and her husband sent, spent some time in New Zealand before they moved, um, back to Wisconsin where they're from. And you know, I was like, when am I ever gonna be able, when will I ever think that I would like try to go to New Zealand and like have people there?
Yeah. You know, like, that's probably not gonna happen again. So I'm just gonna go. And that was really cool 'cause that was the first time I'd done a bigger trip like that by myself. Yeah. Like I, I didn't have a travel buddy and, um, but it was fine. It was totally fine. And actually I, you know, me, I'm so patient, so it has to be like a, a, a very specific person that I travel with that I'm not gonna get like.
Annoyed at, you know what I mean? So yeah, with something that big, I was glad to just do it by myself. Um, and uh, so yeah, so that was like my last big trip. And then I met Jesse and we got married. And I think we like, have gone to Florida, but that's about it. So I think we're due to, um, do a little more traveling and I can't wait to take my kids because, um, I was actually traveling for work, um, last month, just a day trip.
You know, a day trip out to Wisconsin. No big deal. Oh my God, what a nightmare. Um, especially in February. Exactly, which of course we had. I had weather on the way back that delayed me getting home. So on the way there, there was this really cute family. They had three small kids and they were on their way to Costa Rica.
And I'm like, how fun is that? Mm-hmm. Like that. They're gonna go take those kids and like maybe see a place that they've been before, like through their eyes.
Yeah.
Um, yeah, so I mean, travel for me, I think is so important. It, you know, it's, it's truly an escape. Like you can't, um, and what am I talking about?
Sorry. Jesse and I totally went to Mexico too, which is a kind of a big deal. That's where we conceived our first son, not for TMI, for everyone on the phone. But you'd think I would've remembered that. Um, and a Z wa now, which
is one of my favorite places in the world. That's
right, that's right. I forgot you had the haw connection.
Yes, yes, exactly. So like, again, never would've thought to go there, but Jesse's parents, like, you know, have been going there for like the past 20 years. They've got their own little spot, like they know all the spots to go that aren't, you know, super. And it's not like a super touristy place anyway, but. Um, yeah, like it, so just stuff like that.
I think it's important. So I guess travel for me has been like a way to connect with the people that are bringing me there in a way. Like, it, it's important to them. So I think it's awesome to share that experience with them, but it's also like, just really made me see, you know, what's possible. It's made the world a smaller place for me.
And, um, that's why I think so much of what's happening right now, um, you know, particularly like with our country's leadership is so frightening to me because I think because I, I've traveled, I, I think maybe I'm, I'm quicker to understand like the, the big impact that it's having and will have. Yeah. Um, and so I think I'm, yeah.
So I think if you can, you should travel period, end, and, um. Take your kids if you can. For sure. That would be my advice.
So, you know, with that, I are, are there things that you had views on that have surprised you, that you've changed your opinion on as you've gotten older and traveled and gotten more wiser?
It's, you know, it's, I don't think my
views have really changed. Um, it, well actually I will say this. I'm, I will say I'm a registered Republican.
Mm-hmm.
And I always thought that that would be, that was, and, and this, it is still to a sense True. But, um, I always thought that, you know, and it really was for me was issues.
I don't, I don't agree with any social agenda that Republicans have right now.
Yeah.
Um. Really. Um, but for me it was more about the, the fiscal part of it. Yeah. Um, but even then, that's not even playing out in the way it traditionally used to either.
Mm-hmm.
Um, so I think to be party aligned is, is tough for me right now.
And I, I don't want to, I, I think I, I need to reregister as an independent because it's just not a good, so that, that has changed my view on that. Um, I think what has not changed but I've become more aware of is like how broken things are and that you honestly, and I, this sounds so like gloom and doom, but you can't count on anybody to do, to do stuff for you.
Yeah. Which, kind of going back to like our earlier point was, you know, is everyone just made sure that things. You stood up for what's right in the, in your spheres of influence, your sphere of control. Yeah. Then I think that will trickle down. And I, you just hear so many stories coming out of Capitol Hill, of these instances where people were entrusting to make decisions that are for the benefit of the country, have really fallen down Yeah.
In areas where they should have spoken up or they should have done. Um, and it's, and you know, social media doesn't help the spread of that. Right. Like, I think that stuff probably always happened, we just didn't hear about it as often. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And now we do. Um, and I just think, um, it's, it, to me it's scary and, um, but I can't focus on that.
I can only, like I said, just try to do what I think is right. And, and you know, I have written my, this is the first time in my life I've ever written my, my elected officials, uh, federal elected officials to be like, this is crazy. Yep. Um, so I guess some of that, I guess. So I don't think anything's really changed for me, but it's definitely made me more, um, engaged.
Yeah. I will say that I'm much more engaged politically than I ever thought I would be. Um, and it, it is funny because I feel like if money, which is awful to say, but if money weren't a factor or just, you know, and I like my job, don't get me wrong, I wish I could do both. Like, I wish I could like run for office.
Like I wish I could be a senator or something. You could. You should. Um, I, I know, I know. I didn't even say that. Vote for Jenna. I'm already gonna start the campaign because I just, I just don't think, I think there's more in the stables that are coming. Um, but I just, I want someone just to just say, this is crazy.
Yeah. Like, can't we all just, not, can't we all just get along, but like, let's talk about right and wrong. Let's just go there and then, and then once we have that established, then we can talk about like what your agenda might be. Yeah. But yeah, I just, it's cra it's just bananas to me.
I, I don't get it. Well, it, it, it, um.
It's been shocking to me because the more you talk to people in America, most people agree on 99% of what they want America to represent. Um, right. Like most people want a fiscally responsible government, because guess what? Like, America's not about the government, it's about the people. And we definitely don't trust you right now on how you're spending the money.
So why would we wanna give you more and why isn't there transparency? And, you know, if we have to have, manage our budgets as, um, individuals and families, because we can't overspend and need to be really prudent about it, like, why wouldn't we expect that from like the country as well? And then additionally, like everybody wants, like they, we want to be taking care of the people in our country who, who, um, need the help.
Like nobody wants people to be left in out in the cold or to be left hungry, especially children and elderly and like it, it makes me crazy when, you know, they try and politicize family values and left versus right and all the family values that come up are typically about abortion and gay marriage.
And the truth is, there are so many topics that impact families on an everyday basis that we never discuss.
Well, and the irony of both of those things is, at least on the abortion thing I'll say. Yeah. Is the majority of people against that, that are, I will say this, that are on record in the media, on, you know, saying they're against abortion.
A lot of them are privileged white men who probably have benefited from somebody getting an abortion. And I, and I know that's a really awful thing to say, but it just played itself out. There was a Pennsylvania, um, congress person, I can't remember if he was a senator or a representative, so forgive me, but he was one of the staunchest anti-abortion lawmakers.
And it came out that a, someone he was having an affair with had an abortion. So bullshit. Like, you know what I mean? It's like shit like that. It's like, how do, if you can't pass a straight face test in the mirror, like how are you, you know, spewing your opinion. Yeah. I just don't get that. Yeah. I also gauge it too, like, how could you ever work for that person?
Like, you know what I mean? Like, and it just, the way they conduct themselves and I can't, I can't name many that I would ever work for.
I would even lower it to, like, who would I have over for dinner?
Well, even then, I, I'm okay if I don't, if I don't have to like you. But I wanna be able to respect you. Yes.
Right. So if I don't like you, you're not gonna come over for dinner, but I'll work for you. Fair point. Fair point. I'll work, I'll work for you if I respect you. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? And I think that's a big, and people don't see that value in that. They, people don't, I just don't think they care about, like, Donald Trump can't possibly care about being respected and act the way that he does.
Just gonna say that. Well, and he certainly is showing he doesn't respect a lot of other people.
Well, he's never had to. Mm-hmm. He's never been accountable. I, you know, it's funny, a lot of people, not a lot of people, well, some people and some people that I know not, I said, well, he'll run the country like a business.
I'm like, okay. His, his business is family owned. He's never had to report to a board of directors. He's never had to be ever be accountable. And they're all small. Pass through LLCs. Yeah. They're not one big giant corporation. And he's the sole trustee. Yep. Like, you know what I mean? So it's like, yeah, he's this whatever bus quote unquote business person.
But he's, you know, it's like people just don't, they believe what they wanna believe. They don't wanna care, they don't care about the facts.
Yeah.
And that, that bothers me a lot. Bothers me a lot. Yes. That's something I get really worked up about.
No, I agree. Me too. Because there's, I was always taught that you don't trust anything.
You hear you, you look for, uh, an alternative source. You compare the two, and somewhere in the middle is where the facts are. Like you have to do that as a minimum. And then if you really wanna get involved in something, like there's all this other research to do, because like where is it coming from?
Who's saying it? Right. Is it even real? And you know. Going back to your point earlier, if, if we're at a place right now where as individuals we have to look at every nutrition label to see what's in the food that we're being sold, to look at every, um, you know, elements of what's in our beauty products, to see what we're putting on our, on our skin.
If we have to look into, um, you know, are these toys safe for kids or not, because you don't know where they're getting made in the world anymore. Like, if we have to do all of that individual research as people, um, like why are we not thinking we need to do that when it comes to information? Right. Yeah. I don't know.
It's a good question. It's a very good question. Yeah. It baffles me. It baffles me. Um, and especially like where you are in Maine, there's such a big, um, such a big issue right now with meth
and o and opioids. That's probably a bigger crisis.
Opioids. Okay. Thank you for correcting me. Yeah. Um, so what is that like on the ground and like how are people dealing with it there?
Well,
um, it's, I mean, I have, um, personal alignment with the issue and that I'm just gonna leave it at that for, um, privacy reasons. Yeah.
But, um, it's scary, like when you say personal alignment, meaning that you, um, know someone personally who, um, has experience with that issue. Yes.
Okay. Yes.
Yes.
Um, yes.
Someone very close to me. Mm-hmm. And, um, and it's, it's. It's scary. And the path that this person found themselves on to get to that place is the path that I think so many, um, find, which is you have a serious injury, you're prescribed, you know, medically prescribed this stuff, and then. It becomes so addicting that you're heroin seeking.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and that's, I think the story that, that you hear a lot. That's what people cite a lot, you know, and it's not just in, in New England either. Maine, New Hampshire, I think is a pretty hard hit. But like the Midwest, Ohio is having a really hard time and caucus of Indiana. You know, you hear it everywhere.
Um, and how that's playing out, I guess is we just elected a new governor, um, this past November, and she is on the, in the process of, or she may have already appointed somebody within her administration whose only focus is the OPI opioid crisis. Good for her. And our prior, our prior governor's approach was, well, we just need more DEA agents.
Yeah, maybe, but there's people that need like treatment, right. And like medical support. And we need a justice system that's gonna provide said medical support and treatment. Not, you know, the punitive. Dry out in jail and then come back and just do what you're doing again, you know, that, um, so I think there's hope here for maybe like introducing drug court, um, type, um, I can't remember the other, it's a state that there's another state that has that, or maybe other states.
What does that mean? It's like a court specifically for drug related offenses and it marries up a, um, you know, the criminal piece of it, but also part of the like, um, consequence also is treatment based as well.
Mm-hmm.
So that pe so that the rec, the recognition there is that, you know, drug based crimes are generally born out of addiction issues.
Right. Um, and, and those need to be treated differently than, you know, somebody committing armed robbery. Right now, there's not that distinction. Um, in many, many, uh, justices, uh, state justice systems
and certainly
the
federal one too. And opioid crisis is unique because it is one of the few drug crises in the US that are across socioeconomic, um, channels.
Exactly.
Well, and that's just it. And I don't know if you've watched, um, some of the 60 minute exposes they've done, um, in the past. I would say a year and a half. I haven't. Um, my God, those are just, they are mind blowing. Um. Just the whole relationship between big pharma, the FDA Congress, the DEA, it's bananas.
And really what it's, and it all comes down to money. It's all money.
Mm-hmm.
And it's so sad that that's what is driving people to make, again, going back to the right or wrong thing. Wouldn't you think that drug company would be like, shit, like, our, our product is, is causing people to die?
And you're talking about the pharmaceutical company, that pharmaceutical company that made some of it, who knew that it was addictive and they Right.
Didn't they lied on the, um, side effects? They, yes. They
misrepresented on the side effects. And then the FDA has their, so they're the ones that need to approve the drug to go enter the market. And they're the ones that actually, if you, so, you know, like when you get, this is the most recent, um, 60 minutes thing where, where you get, um, the pam, the big pamphlet that comes with your prescription, right?
Yeah. And it's
like
super small font and there's a million words. Well, within there it talks about, uh, for I think like in Oxycontin type products. So like an OPA prescribed opioid. Um, it, there's a statement in there that says you can take it for prolonged periods or something like that, that the FDA approved, which is crazy and they've never taken it out even after all of this.
And then the other thing that I thought was really crazy was, so a lot of DEA agents or not, I dunno if they're agents, but maybe like higher up like investigators or attorneys. Yep. They'll leave the drug enforcement arena and go work for a pharmaceutical company because they know how to navigate that.
There's a lot of people that have jumped ship and now work for private companies.
It's the same thing as talking about Mexican, um, police officers who leave and go work for the cartel because they know how the other side works. Right, right.
Yeah. It's, it's not dissimilar, but the, but, but what's what's happening though is like, so the, the difference I'd make there, I guess is that both, both entities are, are protected by law.
Like what they're doing. It's like it, so I guess my point is it's against the law to work for a mob, right? Right. It's not against the law to go work for a pharmaceutical company.
Mm-hmm.
But it should be, and you know, if you're doing it for the wrong reasons, you know what I mean? Yeah. Um, and so it was, so that was just insane.
And then there was, there was a, a high up DEA agent that was. Um, trying to investigate this, uh, drug distributor because this small town in West Virginia, I think their population was like, I don't know, 3000 people or something like that. 10 million pills had been passed
through the single pharmacy in that town.
I did see, uh, some, I dunno if it was 60 minutes, but I did see a clip about that. That was why
it's, yeah. And so he, and he was like trying to push on why, why, why, why this isn't right. This is, you know, this should be illegal. And he was probing, probing, probing. He got fired because I think whoever leads him and or the FDA, they were like, cut it out kind of thing.
'cause of the whole pharmaceutical drug lobby.
Isn't that crazy? It's, it's frustrating. Like it's so, it's frustrating that we have a government because we know we need people to think about things that. Individuals can't think about every day, like Right, we need you to help us because we need experts that can evaluate these drugs at that level.
Like we need expertise in that so that we as a country can be, can be optimized and we And healthy and safe. Yeah. Right. And we need people that will protect us who, that all they worry about is protecting us from whatever, you know, domestic or, or international threats we have. And to think that they're only worried about themselves and not worried about the actual people is beyond frustrating because we don't need you if that's what you're going to do.
And. Right. I wanna make a statement that of course there are many people who work in pharmaceuticals and many people who work for the government at the city, state, and, uh, federal level who are there for the right reasons, who are doing to help us with that. So I don't believe that it is a majority of people in those roles.
And I wanna thank those people for their service and what they're doing for the betterment of our country and humanity. And we have got to close the loop on the people who are out of integrity and in there for selfish purposes. Like it is, does not work. And it is impacting so many people and not even just in this country are, are like, who's being impacted?
Right? You're right
to Absolutely right. Couldn't have said it better myself to make a editor's note. Um, it's actually, um, Williamson, West Virginia. Uh, a town of 3,200 people and it's 21 million pain pills went through the county. Oh, so it's 21 million. Yeah. So I had West Virginia, I had the right, the population Right.
But double the amount of pills. Yeah. That's crazy. That is crazy.
And how is that possible? I don't know. And and similar to things that have happened on the stock market, like why are these people, like, are people going to jail? Because usually they don't like what are we doing like as, um, as a community of people, where are we letting ourselves down as a group by not having there be justice for this stuff happening?
I can feel the horns and this coming outta my head and the smoke all at the same time. Right. It's so true. I agree. Well, I look forward to having. One of our female Senator Congress women or governors on this podcast, if not all of them, because like I would love to focus on those topics in particular.
But I think it would be great for our listeners to start digging into the beautiful, glamorous world of insurance.
And I say these, thi these words, not to be facetious, but because similar to being, um, like you can only be being fiscally responsible and aware and literate is so important to me. And it's a reason why I help people with their budgets and help people get a debt and like teach those programs. And insurance is a critical part of that because the purpose of insurance is to protect your assets, like to protect everything that you work so hard for every day.
Like that's why you have insurance. Yes, that is correct. That is why you have insurance. So for people who know nothing about insurance and like all they know of is health insurance, um, what's like, where do people start to learn more about insurance and, you know, what would you tell someone who wants to figure out if they have the right insurance or need other, whether it's personal or business insurance?
Yeah, so, um, whew, that's a good question. I'm, I, I am so sorry that I can't come up with like this great site that explains it so well. Mm-hmm. And I probably should know the answer to that and I, I don't, but what I can tell you is I find a lot of value, um, and this isn't just because of the company that I work for, but in the independent agent system, and I think I've told you this, Kara, so, um.
The independent agent system is different than, like we talked before, you know, in a kind of tongue in cheek, like a State farm in Allstate, you know, not to like call up those names, but that you have what are called direct writers, which it's you working directly with the insurance company and then you have what's called the independent agent system, where it's, you work with an insurance agent who then works with the, the company.
So the agent is a middleman and you know, I think a lot of people for the sake of efficiency, um, and you know, just wanting to maybe handle things themselves might see that middleman role as something that is a nuisance or I can just handle it. It's fine. But to your point, Kara, before about how we need people to have, who have expertise to help us make decisions, um, that's, this is one area where you really don't wanna get it wrong because like you, you mentioned Kara.
That's you're, you're buying something that's supposed to protect you at probably what your most vulnerable time. Um, generally after you have like a bad car accident or your house burns to the ground, um, those are times when like, you shouldn't have to be figuring that out on your own. And that's like what, where an agent comes into play, um, they're also the person that really should have the knowledge to make sure that you're even buying the right coverage in the first place.
Whereas if you're just working directly with an insurer, um, they only know what they. They're selling you. Um, so I don't think there's objectivity that exists in that process that should be there. The other, um, benefit of the independent agent system is the fact that they work with a multitude of carriers, insurance carriers.
So, you know, if you are do the direct rider system, you only have access to that single carrier. Whereas if you work with an independent agent, you know that you could have your choice of a few different options, um, for either business or personal insurance. So again, I, I, I can't say enough about that, uh, role.
I think it's valuable and really it. To get to those people is really just simple as, as a Google search to start, um, and ask for references. You know, who else do you insure? I think that's a very valid question. If you, especially if you're a business person, a business owner, um, ask them for references because that alone will help inform, I think, your comfort level with somebody.
And also it's no different than anyone else you'd wanna do business with or, or would want to help you. Like, do you feel like, do you have a gut check on trusting them and things like that. So I think references can be powerful in that way. Um, kind of after you've done a little bit of homework about, um.
Who your in local independent agent would be in your area. So that's where I would say people should start if they're curious.
Okay. Then, um, I'm gonna list out some different types of insurance and I'm gonna say like, why people should have it, and then you can say agree or you can give additional comments.
How about that? Okay. Okay, sure. So, auto insurance, most states require this. You have to have it. Um, it's really important that you, um, carry enough coverage to cover yourself and to cover, uh, people who might not be insured and to, you know, plan for the worst while keeping your costs low. Um, and it's also something that should evolve as the age of your car evolves because you don't need all the coverage on a car that costs a thousand dollars.
Um, so everyone should have auto insurance. Anything I say that you would like to add on or disagree with. Nope.
Totally agree. I would add though that, um, this is, this, particularly in auto insurance, um, you'll see a lot of ads for like cheap, cheap, cheap. And you really have to think about what you're buying because the cheap price may be like really low liability limits and liability is, um, you know, you hurting a third party.
And I think we all know with medical costs rising, you know, a fender bender or a big accident could end up costing you like literally a million dollars. Um, and so if you don't have high enough insurance limits, um, those types of situations could really hurt you financially. So Perfect.
Yeah. So cheap is not always better, is what I would say.
The next is homeowners and renter's insurance. It breaks my heart when I hear stories where people do not have renter's insurance. Mm-hmm. Most people are required to have homeowner's insurance because it ties into your mortgage, um, and like what rates you can get and all that stuff, but. Get registered insurance because if something happens, you are covered and it's the most inexpensive type of insurance you can have.
Um, and it will save your ass in the event of something going wrong or being stolen and also covers you beyond your home sometimes for things that are, that you own. Yes. So from a first
party, so when we, I say first party property, like the tangible things that you have, yeah, for sure. You should definitely have renter's insurance.
And to your point, that is like pennies on the dollar for premium. It's, it's, it's a no brainer. But the other cool thing about renter's insurance and homeowners is that there is a liability portion for that. So like, let's say you live in your third story apartment and you have an air conditioner that's installed in one of your windows and you go to like open the window to take the air conditioner out because it's getting cold and you drop it and it hurts somebody or damages a car below your renter's insurance will help pay for that through liability.
So that's a big deal too.
Excellent point. Yes. Health insurance, most of this is provided by people's companies. More and more states are requiring it under, um, you know, what's Obamacare or the, um, healthcare Act. Um. You have to have it. It's so important. I, I know that it costs a lot of money and the, one of the number one reasons that people go into debt today is because of medical expenses.
Yeah. And I, I be very curious to know in the current landscape, because you made the comment, a lot of people's companies provide it. I think you have to probably be in a pretty big company nowadays to have it be provided because I think some people have had it taken away or reduced in smaller companies.
Yes.
Um, I think that's a great point, especially with more and more people being freelance and doing things on their own and having to figure it out.
Exactly. So I think, I guess I'm not saying take a job for the benefits, but weigh that into your decision. Like it is important to be happy and fulfilled in your career.
I'm not saying that's what your sacrifice should be, but if you've got good benefits from a, a company, like hold onto those things because I don't, it's hard to predict what will happen and I don't know enough about the healthcare market
mm-hmm. Or industry.
It's not the space I work in. But, um, having solid comp, you know, employer provided benefits, I think is, um, becoming less and less common.
So.
Yes. Yeah, adding onto that is disability insurance. So obviously there is state and federal provided, um, disability insurance. But the one that I think most people don't think about is long-term disability, which is, you know, for example, now that I host a podcast, I should probably do not have yet, but should probably have, um, long-term disability insurance in the event that I lost my voice because I wouldn't be able to perform this job anymore.
Um, right. And a lot of people who, um, whatever, it's basically covers whatever you're educated or trained to do and can no longer do because of a disability. Uh, it can actually pay for like. A, a lifetime of your salary based on the, the type you get, um, are like, do you have opinions on this disability insurance?
That would be an add-on to what's provided by Pat, maybe your employer and the state.
Um, no, but I would say like, take advantage of what your employer does offer you. I don't think, like that's often called out in your, you know, annual benefits review and if you have it available, you should take it. Yep.
Um, some of it will be automatic, but um, yeah, I think that's a really good point. Like, to your point, care, I think it does get overlooked. A fair amount.
One of the things in insurance that scared me when I learned about this, only in the sense that I got stressed out about needing to start taking it out on my own parents, is long-term care insurance.
A lot of people today gets caught in a financial, like catch 22 of right when you need to pay for your kids to go to college, you also need to start paying to potentially take care of your parents either for, um, in-home care or to put them into a, like elderly facility. Um, so long-term care insurance is to help pay for that when that time comes.
And it's insurance that you could take out on yourself or you could take out on family members.
Um, I guess, well, personal question, have you taught, have you done this for your, with your parents?
Uh, Jesse and I have gone down the, the path of getting quotes for it, but we haven't taken it out yet, but it's something that's on my to-do list.
Have you like talked to your parents about that?
Yes.
Um, and they think it's a good idea for, so the reason I ask this is because, so my dad had a pretty major heart attack. Well, he had his open heart surgery two years ago now.
Mm-hmm.
And he's now retired and my mom's still like working. Um, but you know, she wants to retire too.
And I said to my, I asked my one point blank, like, I think a little bit after everything happened and I was like, do you guys have enough money to like survive? Like if you have to go into assisted living or whatever you have to do, like, do you have enough money? And they're like, yes. So I mean, I think as the adult children who may be taking care of them mm-hmm.
I think it's a good conversation just to have, you know, just to know what you're, what, what you might need to do. And then like you say, explore that option. Um, 'cause to me it doesn't make sense to pay premium on something that you may never need if your parents are set. Correct. So I guess I would just.
Start, start with that, maybe that piece of advice.
Yes. And I, I think it makes sense also to look at like, in your community what those costs would be. Because for example, right there is, um, a friend of mine, her mother is in a senior living center and she doesn't need all the extra attention right now, but she still need, like, wants to live in a place where she has support and I mean, it's expensive.
It's, it's, it's, you know, thousands of dollars a month to cover that. And you know, if they accept people that are 65 up and you think about for 20 years paying $3,000 a month times 12 times 30, you're like. Holy shit. Like it'll cost more to live in that, that facility, which is awesome. And you're taking care of than it will be to send someone to become a doctor.
Right? So I think that there's that balance between like having what you need to live on, the budget you're planning for and then Right. What does it look like when there's unexpected stuff that comes up? Nope. Good. Very good point. Um, identity theft protection. This is a hot button insurance issue topic right now.
And there is the kind of sales marketed version that people see all the time. And then there's a kind that I recommend, which is making sure that whatever identity theft insurance you get includes a person, um, who will clean it up for you, um, because that can become a full-time job. Don't just get the protection but also make sure that it includes like an agent that will take care of it for you.
Very good advice. And I will say that there's no like standardized like coverage form out there right now 'cause this is still such new coverage. So you really need to read between the lines, like you need to read what you're buying, um, 'cause they're not all created equal. So that's where an independent agent can help to help decipher that.
Perfect. And the one that I think is really confusing for people is life insurance because. Life insurance is meant to replace lost income in the event that somebody would, would die. So like if a, um, if a husband passed away, like there would be money for the wife and the kids to continue, um, living their lifestyle.
Um, it doesn't last forever, of course, whatever the policy is you took out, but it's, um, my understanding is that life insurance isn't something that you need to keep throughout your life because the, uh, expectation of that income would change as you get older.
I think that's right. Uh, my brother-in-law is actually the life insurance expert, so he could speak more to this, but I just think about my own.
The experience, like when I was single, um, I don't think, I think I took whatever, like, uh, my company very fortunately provides the benefit and I took whatever, like just automatically comes, you know, whatever. Mm-hmm. It was like, I think one time's my salary, which wouldn't have really mattered. Right. It was just me.
And then since I've gotten married and had kids and I'm the breadwinner, I now buy as much as my company will sell me so that, um, my family can live the lifestyle that they live. Um, if I, if something ever happened to me and, um, and my husband still buys up too 'cause, you know, he obviously contributes as well.
And, um. You know, it's a big deal. But then to your point, Kara, once you know we're empty nesters, um, do we don't need all that? You know what I mean? Yeah. So we should
buy it back down after. Mm-hmm. For sure. And I think a great point as well is that, um, you should have life insurance taken out for whoever is a stay at home person in the relationship because they have a, a value, even if it's not monetary.
Like if you had to replace whoever's taking care of the kids, if it's a stay at home husband or wife, um. You should think about taking out as much as you would need if you had to put, hire a full-time live-in nanny or a full-time daycare. Or send them to daycare. Yeah,
yeah, for sure. Because that's definitely expensive.
Yes. So obviously there's lots of other insurances out there and I would caution everyone to, you know, if, if it wasn't insurance that we talked about too, and that pops up in your, in your world like, I don't know, prepaid burial policies or accidental death or cancer in hospital indemnity, like go ask that independent agent that Jenna mentioned because.
There's insurance offered for everything. And yes, it does protect you from something, but often it's something that you don't need if you have other insurances or if you have a savings account or a 401k, and often the risk is so low that the money you would put into it may not be worth it. So please, like go talk to a specialist before you take out any insurance policies in general.
And this even includes like the insurance policies that people tell you to take out on things like your phone and computer, because often you'll have coverage under a renter's insurance or something else, and then you're double insuring things That really could be things that you could downgrade on your budget.
Nope, that's super smart. And um, I would also say too, that insurance doesn't cover everything. So, and, and it never will. Like, you're never gonna find an insurance policy that covers 100% of your risk. Um, insurance is just really a way to transfer a, a lot of your risk, but you're never gonna, you know. The point is to indemnify you, not to pro may have you profit.
Um, and again, not everything is covered. So
just always make sure you know what you're buying, like you said. So, and always have your good job, your emergency fund for your savings account yourself.
Yes. Um, what was I gonna say? Where did you get all your information that you just compiled?
Oh, that you just,
um, oh, because maybe that could be the good resource for people.
Yes.
I recommend that, um, if you haven't done it yet, to go through a Dave Ramsey financial program because they do include insurance there. And a lot of my notes came from that, as well as some other independent research, uh, that I've been doing on my own diving into those topics. 'cause like I said before, like I never believe one source.
I like to get a couple, um, and compare. But, um, a lot of it came from initially doing the Financial Peace University program through Dave Ramsey. Cool. Yes. Um, all right, so as we are transitioning back to powerful lady stuff, um, I ask everyone on the podcast where they rank on the powerful lady scale, zero being normal, average everyday human, and 10 being powerful lady like Wonder Woman.
Where do you feel today and where do you feel on average? Ooh. Um,
today I just feel normal. Um, I had. I had three glasses of rose last night with my sisters, so I feel a little crusty. Um, but no, I think normally like when I'm like really killing it at work and then like, daycare, pickup's awesome. And the kids go down and Jessie and I can have a glass of wine and dinner, maybe we get busy.
I'm like, I'm a 10 all
the
way. And then there's some days where I'm like, oh, I just gotta be a five. Um, yeah, I would say I think overall I, I kick ass pretty much every day. I think. So I would say average. I, I'm gonna give myself average an eight.
That's why we love you. Um, who are women that have been influences in your life?
Are there, are there ones that you ha know and are in your life or ones that you've never met?
So it's funny, I was thinking about this a little bit too before, um, our time together and, you know, it's funny, I, I've always only worked for women primarily, and they've been really awesome women. So it's, uh, it's been a boon for me and I feel like I've, you know, with the whole Me Too movement, um, and people saying, yeah, that happened to me, or I got hit on at work, or, you know, and I'm like, what?
Like, that's never happened to me. And I, honest, honest to God never happened to me. And I'm like, what? You know, this seems like it's such a common experience, like why? And I honestly feel like the people, you know, aside from my own. You know, gumption and lack of tolerance for bullshit. I think the women that I've worked for have really, um, empowered me to, to exercise that assertiveness and that, you know, zero tolerance policy and, um, would honestly be ashamed if I didn't.
You know what I mean? They would, yeah, they would be disappointed, I should say, if I didn't. Um, so I feel like that in and of itself has, they've been just, and they know who they are, but they've been just so wonderful to me, including my current boss. I mean, it's, it's awesome. And also coworkers. Like, I feel like I've worked primarily with female coworkers, which is hilarious to me because in insurance is such a typically male dominated industry, but that's been my only experience.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and like on my team, there's my, my boss, and then there's. Um, four of us, and there's only one, one male on our team. And um, so it's just kind of funny. So I would say definitely my company peeps have very graciously influenced me. Um, I would say my friends like you, Kara, especially, and uh, and I would also call out our friend Lauren.
I mean, and this is not taking away from you, but Lauren is like one of the coolest people that I know. Like, she just does such cool things. She she does, she's awesome. Cool people. She does cool shit, right? Yes. It's so fun to like watch what she's doing. My dad and I would say
the same. No, go ahead. No, my dad gets so proud every time he sees her on tv, he like sends her and me both a note.
Yeah. Like, it's like I feel like such a basic bitch, but like when I saw her on the Today Show, I was like, she's made it. Today show, you know, because like, I love the Today Show, but it's just so funny. So anyway, I, I would say like, you know, but it's, she's taken chances, right? Yes. And I think, and you have too.
And I, and to me that's so attractive. 'cause I will say like, as ballsy as I can be, I haven't taken that many risks in that way. Um, maybe it's because I've, you know, been lucky enough to find fulfillment on the path that I'm on, so I haven't needed to like, take any turns
Yep.
You know, that are, um, that are taking me on like adventures, if you will.
But, uh, no, I admire so much that, um, bravery that you exhibit, um, when you're trying new things. I think it's awesome. It's, it's so cool. Thanks lady. Um, yeah, and I will say too, like women that are my age that have had faced significant loss, that have, um, really just come out on the other side, um, amazingly well, um.
I think of another friend of ours. So Courtney, um, you know, what she's gone through, you know, both with her, her, her parent, uh, uh, losing a parent and then losing a husband. I, I just, I can't, I don't know how she's done it. And same with, you know, my dear friend from high school. Um, she's lost, she lost both of her parents.
She lost a sibling. Um, she's lost a stepparent. Um, it's the amount of loss that she's experienced and not to mention, you know, common friends that we've had. Mm-hmm. And she still kicks ass. She still works in the mental health industry, helping other people that really can't cope. It's, it's mind blowing to me.
Yeah.
Um, those are, that, those that. Group of women, um, also is just amazing to me.
Who, who have been, who were influences on you in how you wanted your life to look as you were crafting it as a young woman?
Oh, I'm trying to think like, who did I wanna be when I grew up? I don't know. I just, I, I can't think of like anyone specific.
Mm-hmm. But I just know that even as like a young woman, I wanted, I knew I wanted to work and I knew I wanted to like, kick ass at the job I was doing. Like, I just, like, that was not gonna be good enough for me to just like, be like, ho hum.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and I think that's informed a lot of what, how I approach things and, and what I do now, um, is just not to settle for that for anything less.
I'm just trying to think of like, if there's anyone. Specifically that I'm like, oh, I wanna be her when I grow up.
Well, if you think of some, we can call it out in your, um, ladies, we love bio as well. Yeah. You know, it's,
I think too, like, I thought, I will say this, I thought when I was a young lady that like having a high powered job, a high powered, high paying job, you know, like would, I would have like this, like crazy like jet set life.
Like I did think that, like I did think that I would have that and, and I don't, but I'm okay. But it's funny, like I'm fine with that. Like I love my life and it's so funny to me that like, I thought that that was something that I wanted. Mm-hmm.
Because
I can't see how I could have that and have what I have now.
Yeah. You know what I mean? Yep. Um, so I think that, um. I will say that's changed for me. Like what I want has changed and, and that's fine. It's fine. Part of the reason, it's funny,
part of the reason why I am excited to have such a diversity of different types of people on this podcast is because so often in the media we're told that living your best life and having the life of your dreams means that you are jet setting and you are a celebrity and you are in that 1% of exposure.
And I think that's bullshit. Like living your dream life and living up, like creating a life of your own choosing has nothing to do with that. It's really about what makes me happy, what allows me to give back to the people I care about and what allows me to make the impact that I wanna make. And like, those are the three questions to ask.
It has nothing to do with fame and fortune and, and. Celebrity status, so, right. You know, I, I think it's, I think it's great that you brought that up because we, you know, you start off with these big aspirations. Some of us, some people never even think to dream that big of what would it be like if, you know, I got to hang out with Beyonce, when in reality it's like, I actually don't care.
I really just wanna spend more time with my parents.
Right. It's so true. And, and you know what's funny is I thinking like that I had that idea, like this is what I thought would happen and that was before like social media was really even a thing, right. For us.
Mm-hmm.
So I can't imagine like coming of age now and all the pressure on you is, that's gotta be bananas.
Yeah. Um, when you are having a low day, a low, powerful 80 score day, and you are trying to like get yourself back to being in your better place, what are things that you do for yourself for self-care and getting back on track? Um,
I would say like, if I'm feeling well and I actually went through this and I, I don't know, I don't think I had like postpartum depression, but I definitely felt like whatever after.
In between, um, Enzo and Santo, can you explain that a little bit
more? Like you felt whatever.
Yeah, like, sorry, you don't know what I mean? No, um, you know, I've always liked like getting like dressed like I've always liked clothes and like picking all my outfit and doing my hair and doing my makeup and doing my and all that shit takes time.
Right? So when you have a new, a new baby, you're just, you know, some stuff suffers, right? But I think after a point, like if that was something you enjoyed doing before, like you wanna try to get back to it, and I just did not have the motivation to like really get back to it. And I really didn't have that motivation until after giving birth to Santo.
And it was really funny and I think it's because like I knew that would be, he was my last baby. Mm-hmm. Um, and. And, you know, it's, it's a startling thing as a new parent. I mean, you know, like, obviously your life's not gonna be about you, but until your life is actually not about you anymore, it's hard. And, um, and so at, you know, until I really gave birth to Santo, that's, I think that was when I was like, okay, like you, you know, if nothing else, you just need to like, blow dry your hair today and like, put makeup on.
Mm-hmm.
Like,
get back to being you. So, so if I am feeling like kind of low, like, then I know that I, you know, maybe I just need to like, something simple is like booking a pedicure and looking at Jesse and being like, I'm gonna go do this. Or I just wanna go, you know, I need to have dinner with my sister, or I need to just have a glass of wine and not be talked to or something, you know?
Mm-hmm. Stuff like that. It's little stuff. Um, but it's, I think for me when I'm feeling low, it's because I think I've. Forgotten myself in the shuffle. Yeah. And, and I need to do something that reconnects me to me. Um, that's when I, that's how I deal with that. So if it's like going to get a pedicure, I think I might have already said that, but like, that's one of my favorite things to do and I try to do that like, you know, at least once a month or so.
Yeah.
Um, to be like, this is my time to just like, feel pretty, like just get it done. Mm-hmm. You know, something I enjoyed before. Yep. And I think part of that like exercise will become part of that for me too, because I think back to like, you know, I, I always, I love the beach to Beacon Race. It's a 10 K here in Maine.
It's actually a, a qualifier for the Boston Marathon. And it's a great, great event. And it's like, I ran that for, I don't know, six or seven years in a row, and then I got pregnant and like, I just haven't gone back. And it's like, you, I need to go back. You know? And, and so it's stuff like, like those like little goals are like the things that keep me going.
Like that's the stuff I need to get back to. Yeah. And I'll get there. Like, I'm not putting pressure on myself, but it's just those like again. Like grasping little things of myself from before I was a wife and a mom, um, motivate me to like, keep, keep pushing.
One of the things that we talked about, which I think might be great to share with listeners who are going through a similar thing, is, um, your opinion on breastfeeding and what you decided for yourself.
If you don't mind sharing. I don't, I don't mind sharing this at all.
Yeah, so breastfeeding. Yeah. I am so pissed that any book you read, any class you take, they tell you that it should feel. Easy. And if it doesn't feel like natural and easy, you're doing something wrong. That is a load of bullshit. And I, I just want people to understand that.
And, and you know what, I will say this. If it was easy and natural for you, good on you. I think you're in a minority just saying that. Mm-hmm. And I think, you know, the reason it's hard is that, again, kind of going back to the whole, like, you know, your life's not gonna be yours and, or you, you, you think you, you know it in your head, but you don't really know it until you're doing it.
Is that my realization for me? Well, with, with my first child, I should say this, he was not a good suckler. A good latcher, and I wasn't, I was a lower producer, so he wasn't eating, um, as much as he should. And so when we did our first weight check, it was like, whoa, you need to start feeding him formula, like asap, like he's not getting what he, what he needs.
So that was really scary for me. I mean, he's fine, he's fine. But it was scary because the control freak in me realized, you know what? Breastfeeding doesn't allow me to know how much he's eating. And that's important to me. It's important to me to know that because that's what gives me the peace of mind.
That's what makes me know that my kid's okay, and that lets me know that I'm doing the right thing by my kid. And once I kind, that light just went off for me. I was like, yeah, I'm done pumping and doing all of this. Like, it's so much work and not to discount the women that do it, like, good on you. But I just, I did not have the mental capacity to still feel happy and joyful about the experience.
Do all of that work when completely fine. Nutrition was a warm water bottle and mix away like it. Once I made that connection for myself, my parenting journey became so much better. And when Santo came around, I was like, I'm gonna try it again. Like, I'm gonna try breastfeeding again. And, um, it actually was, it, it was relatively easy, like from his standpoint, he was a good latcher.
He ate fine, first weight check. He, he had gained, like, it was a, it was a success story by all accounts, but it drove me nuts that I still didn't know how much that kid was eating. And it, it, I couldn't, it, I couldn't do it. And the fact that, because you don't know how much they're eating, it's more of an on demand issue.
Like if they're hungry, you have to feed them. You can't say, oh, I know you just had a bottle. You know, an hour ago, like, you're probably fine. Do you know what I Yeah. So that really, once I figured that out for myself, I was like, yeah, I'm in the same boat. Like I have to say I don't like breastfeeding.
Mm-hmm.
It's
not making me feel more connected to my child. It's not, it's making me resent it and that's not a good situation to be in. Um, so started just exclusively bottle feeding Santo probably like a week and a half in and never looked back and he's just turned six months yesterday and he's fine.
Yeah. You know, so I think there's a lot of stigma. So it's a such a shitty thing. There's a stigma around. Um, formula feeding.
Yeah.
When pretty much anyone that was born like in the eighties was raised on formula. 'cause they were like pushing that shit like it was no tomorrow. And it was inferior stuff to what's made now, I think.
Um, yeah. Which is ironic. Um, but then the, so it's like, it's, oh, shame on you for not breastfeeding, but then it's like breastfeeding should be great and then it's not so that you just feel like a fucking asshole if it's not working for you. Mm-hmm. Because everything you would read or be told is, it's great.
I even went to a breastfeeding class. And I thought that it was just gonna be like super hunky dory. And I'm like, this should have been like, no, this is what it's gonna be like. So either you like make the mental commitment to like power through it. Mm-hmm. Or if you can't do it, there's nothing wrong with that.
You know, like just they, that's how it should be laid out. Yeah. And it wasn't, it was just like, it was silly.
Well, and there's so much pressure put on moms, new moms in particular about everything has to be done perfect or else, and that's not how life really is. Like, it's just not possible. No. So, right.
The, the objective is that you are, the, the main commitment is that you are taking care of your children and providing them what they need to be their best version of human. And that's whatever fits into that and works for the kid and for you should be all that is asked. Right.
Yeah. And there's like some days where like, you know, you're killing it.
Like I said, you know, I was saying before like, you know, everything goes really well. Like your kid eats his whole breakfast and he doesn't fight with you to get dressed and all of that. And other days it's like you just know he or she's in a mood or you're just, it's just not gonna go the way you want it to.
And you just have to be okay with that. And as long as they're happy and safe and healthy, like that's really all you can care about. You know what if they didn't wear the outfit you wanted them to wear, fine. You know, it's like you didn't have
your Pinterest moment of the day. Yeah. Who
cares?
They can wear the monogram sweater tomorrow.
Exactly. They don't have, I don't think any of their clothes are monogram. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Thank you so much for sharing that story. 'cause I think it's a really important thing for moms to be being real about what's actually happening. Um, so thank you for sharing that and. As we wrap up, what else would you like the listeners to know, listeners who are, you know, trying to decide what career path to make or what next step to take in their life.
Um, just what advice would you have out there that you want people to know?
I guess, you know, the advice I would give, and this sounds again maybe a little trite, but is, is stay true to who you are. Never compromise your integrity to get ahead or to, to take the next opportunity. It's just not worth it in the end.
And I would also say, you know, be brave enough to make the change that you may need to make or speak up. And whether that's professionally or personally, you know, I think oftentimes, um, you know, we maybe accept poor behavior, um, from a partner because maybe we don't think we can do better or, um. They don't maybe even know that they're, that they're doing it and you're scared to have the conversation.
And I think if you're with somebody that, um, is the right person for you, then you won't be scared to have that conversation. So I guess use, you know, follow your gut, check your gut, um, 'cause it's normally gonna lead you to where you're supposed to be. Um, that's served me very well. And um, I would just say, yeah, just don't let anyone tell you you can't do something.
Perfect. Thank you ladies, so much for being on the show. You are awesome. You are a powerful lady and I love you and I can't wait to hang out with you in real life together sometime soon. I agreed. Thank you so much for having
me, and congratulations on the Powerful Ladies Launch, and I appreciate being invited.
I'm honored. Of course. Thank you. Thank you. Love you
first. I adore that woman. I'm so happy that I was able to share her and her sass with all of you. I love that we were able to share her real life story, get into the messy topics of politics, share her personal experience with breastfeeding, and also have lots of laughter. I'm also really excited that on this podcast we are finally able to have real talk about insurance.
It's one of the most overwhelming topics for business and for life, and we often wanna ignore it because it's confusing or we wanna skip it because it's expensive and it's really important to make sure that you have the coverage that you need. Feel free to email us at hello@thepowerfulladies.com if you have any questions or comments about insurance.
And of course, we completely recommend you find a local insurance agent who can customize the best insurance coverage for you and your business. To connect with Jenna, you can leave a comment on her podcast episodePage@thepowerfulladies.com slash podcast 'cause she's not sharing shit with y'all. If you'd like to support the work that we're doing here at Powerful Ladies, there's a couple of ways you can do that.
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Go to the powerful ladies.com. I'd like to thank our producer, composer, and audio engineer Jordan Duffy. She's one of the first female audio engineers in the podcast team world, if not the first. And she also happens to be the best. We're very lucky to have her. She's a powerful lady in her own right, in addition to taking over the podcasting world.
She's a singer songwriter working on her next album, and she's one of my sisters. So it's amazing to be creating this with her, and I'm so thankful that she finds time and her crazy busy schedule to make this happen. It's a testament to her belief in what we're creating through powerful ladies. And I'm honored that she shares my vision.
Thank you all so much for listening. We'll be back next week with a brand new episode. I can't wait for you to hear it. Until then, I hope you're taking on being powerful in your life. Go be awesome and up to something you love.
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Created and hosted by Kara Duffy
Audio Engineering & Editing by Jordan Duffy
Production by Amanda Kass
Graphic design by Anna Olinova
Music by Joakim Karud
