Victoria Varon has built a life that blends passion, purpose, and leadership. She’s a mother, wife, real estate business owner, founding president of Elevate Leadership Community, co-founder of Transformational Tribe Experience, and president of the Porsche Club of San Diego. Her mission? To create spaces where people reconnect with their true selves, embrace self-love, and move toward their version of bliss. In our conversation, Victoria shares her journey from a childhood spent across the globe to discovering transformational work, why she believes service is the key to fulfillment, and how she’s helping others break through barriers around body, beauty, and balance.
“It became clear to me that my purpose was to give. It was to be a space for people to wake up to their bliss and move into that direction and have it be so.”
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Elevate Leadership Community
Transformational Tribe Experience
Porsche Club of America San Diego Region
Porsche
Porsche Track Driving Experience LA
Gill Regimbal
Cuba
Belize
Pararescue
Queen Victoria
Supergirl
Marhnelle Hibbard
Oprah
Super Soul Sunday
Byron Katie - “Defense is the first act of war”
Mother Teresa
Landmark Worldwide
Sound healing
Marianne Williamson
Esther Hicks -
Follow along using the Transcript
Chapters:
00:00 Meet Victoria Varon
01:15 Growing up around the world
04:20 Lessons from a global childhood
08:24 “We’re all one” – embracing connection
12:10 Discovering transformational work
16:59 Finding purpose through service
20:40 Founding Elevate Leadership Community
25:30 Creating the Transformational Tribe Experience
30:15 Breakthroughs around body, beauty, and balance
36:05 Living with no fault, no blame, no guilt, no shame
40:50 The mission to empower women
45:30 Porsche Club leadership and community building
50:00 Self-acceptance as a path to being unstoppable
55:15 Tools for personal growth and leadership
01:02:00 How to get involved with Victoria’s work
It became clear to me that my purpose was to give. It was to really be a space for people to wake up to their blis and take action towards it and move in that direction and have it be so.
That's Victoria Varon and this is The Powerful Ladies Podcast.
Hey guys, I'm your host, Kara Duffy, and this is The Powerful Ladies Podcast where I invite my favorite humans, the awesome, the up to something and the extraordinary to come and share their story. I hope that you'll be left, entertained, inspired, and moved to take action towards living your most powerful life.
Victoria is what you expect when you think of powerful lady. She is a mother, she's a wife. She owns a real estate company with her husband. She's the founding president of Elevate Leadership Community, and she is a co-founder of Transformational Tribe Experience. Plus she's the president of the Porsche Club of a San Diego area.
Like what? Like how does one person have this much time to be such a contribution to the world? Well, you're gonna find out on this episode. She is one of the most amazing, compassionate and powerful women that I've had the chance to interview on this podcast, and that's saying a lot considering who we have as amazing guests and ambassadors in the powerful ladies world.
On this episode, we'll talk about why she got into transformational work, why compassion and helping people find their bliss is her mission and how she found that. And also what she still works on herself, all that and more coming up. But first, hey guys. I'm so excited that you are here today to listen to another episode of The Powerful Ladies podcast.
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Thank you so much for being a guest on The Powerful Ladies Podcast. We're happy to have you. I am super excited to be on. Thanks for asking. Let's start by telling the listeners, um, who you are and what you're up to. So
my name is Victoria Varon, uh, and I wear a lot of hats and I love them all. So first and foremost, I'm a mother, a wife.
I'm a daughter, I'm a friend. Um, I also own my own real estate company with my husband, and I am the founding president of a nonprofit life coaching transformational company called Elevate Leadership Community, which we call ELC for short. I also have a side project that I just started called the Transformational Tribe Experience that supports women in having breakthroughs around body beauty and balance.
And I'm the president of the Porsche Club of the San Diego region this year. So I do a lot of work with them as well.
That last one sounds very exciting. It is a lot of fun. Are, do you race as well within that club? You know, I just started
this year. I've been to, um, two big tracks so far, and another one next month.
And I'm actually really loving the big track. Um, I had done some auto crosses in the past, which is kind of shorter, a little more jerky, like turn, turn, turn. Whereas big, uh, the, the big track is just sort of like a ballroom dance on a, in, in a car. So it's pretty cool.
You, the way that you just described that I can feel the grace, right?
Of what that, what that's like? Yes. Uh, my boyfriend Jesse was definitely, was part of the group that built the Porsche track in LA and Oh, cool. I had the pleasure of taking my friend Jill Al for her birthday up there. Her husband got her, uh, test drive on the track and that was really cool to like see her go through that and come out and be like, I never thought to do that.
And that was so much fun.
Yeah, no, I mean the, the Porsches are amazing vehicles and it's, it's pretty intense seeing how far you can push them, you know, it's really great. 'cause, you know, obviously being a new racer, uh, I go with an instructor and when I think I'm going really fast, they're just like, okay, go faster.
And, uh, it's amazing what that car can do. So it's been really exhilarating and a lot of fun and just a whole other side of the club, you know, for me to be exposed to where I had known all of the social events and aspects of it. I was the social chair for about five years before I, uh, jumped on the board.
So it's just, it's a lot of fun and it's just the people are so great, which is really fantastic too.
What does the Porsche Club do when it's not racing?
All kinds of stuff. I would say we probably have at least one event a week. So there's anything from, you know, cars and coffee type events. We have, uh, social events.
Like we have a progressive dinner where about 40 cars, 80 people, um, meet at one house for appetizers, drive to the next for dinner and drive to the third for dessert. Um, I sort of, well, not sort of, I created this trip called Porsches and Parks, um, probably about four years ago where we had anywhere from 20 to 40 cars go to, and we did it every year since then.
We go to lots of different park destinations. So we had visited Grand Canyon, we had visited Bryce Canyon, uh, Zion. This next year we're going to, um, Yosemite. So, uh, it's a week long journey and everybody takes their Porsche and it's just, the scenery is beautiful. And then just seeing all those cars on the road is fantastic.
Um, so a lot of social events. We've even done, uh, movie nights from time to time. We have a last Tuesday social dinner. Uh, so those are a lot of the social events. And then we have board meetings every month where we just determine like, how can we make this club better mm-hmm. For our members and more fun and, uh, you know, allow them to really experience not only the cars.
Like one of our, our sayings is it's not just the cars, it's the people. Mm-hmm. So it's just a fantastic way to get to meet people. From all different walks of life and different backgrounds who just have one shared goal in, in common is to really take advantage of and love using and driving their Porsche.
Super cool. I'm, I'm totally inspired to do more activities that would be outside the box for me like that Now having listened to you and Yeah, it's fantastic. So much to offer. So you just listed off so many amazing, powerful 80 lists of activities that you're a part of from mm-hmm. Having your own real estate company, um, your Elevate leadership, um, ELC group, your Transformation Tribe experience, your Porsche Club president.
If you look back at yourself growing up, would anyone have predicted that you were this badass that you are today?
Um, you know what's funny is like I looked, I look back at how I grew up and, uh, there was a lot of moving around, you know, um. I came from two gypsy parents. My mom immigrated here from Cuba.
My dad immigrated here from Belize. He was eight, she was 17. So they really, you know, they got to get to know the United States of America. They met at a young early age. Um, after my dad got back from service, he was in para rescue. So really challenged to serve and protect his country and really go out and save lot of lives.
Um, so, but they, they've always been my biggest champion. I'm an only child, so I got all of the attention, even though I always wanted a brother and sister. Mm-hmm. Somebody to hang out with and be connected with and really close with. Um, but being an only child, I think definitely had its advantages in that they really always, you know, put a lot of their energy and attention into me.
And, you know, sometimes I felt like it was sort of. Tough on me in the sense that I'd get a B and my dad would be like, why didn't you get an A? You know? Mm-hmm. But I always knew where he was coming from and that just me being extraordinary and excellent was a big deal. He used to always tell me, you were named after Queen Victorious.
You need to, you know, fill those shoes. So
no pressure. Right. I think our dads might have come from the same cloth because I had the same experience if I didn't get an A and then I, yeah. I was named after Supergirl's name on our home planet. 'cause my dad is a comic book nerd.
Oh, cool.
Got the same speech, but not about Queen Victoria.
Mm-hmm. Right, right. A lot of No, for sure. With great power comes great responsibility conversations.
Love it. Love it. No, that's really awesome. Yeah, and, and my dad. You know, I've learned so much from him and a lot of it is just inbred in me. You know, like he is a massive lover of the world and loves to travel.
Um, we actually lived in Ghana, Africa for three and a half years from the age when I was about four to seven. Um, he worked at a steel plant in New Orleans, which is where I was born. They were looking to open up a plant in Ghana, Africa, and were asking for volunteers to go run that plant. And of course, the only hand in the air was his.
So, so off to Ghana, we moved, which was such an extraordinary experience in its own right, and gave me so much exposure to just different cultures and different people and the community we lived in. Even, you know, one of my best friends was from Germany. There was another girl from India that I hung out with a lot, you know, and there were just people from all over the world there, and that was such a rich experience and made me realize like that we we're all one.
Mm-hmm. There really is no difference. It's just where you come from and how you grow up that determines your set of values and beliefs. But at the core, we're connected, you know? So that was huge, and I think that has really shaped a lot of who I am today and why I do what I do.
Yeah, I, I couldn't agree with you more.
I we're gonna have an entire blog post about ways that you can find work abroad, because I think there are so many people who are hungry for that experience, but don't mm-hmm. Know how to start. I remember being, like in grad school, finishing and being, and knowing I wanted to go abroad and going to the counselor and being like, I know we have alumni other places.
How do I make this happen? And they gave me a few people to email who were super nice and I would email with them, but they weren't really in a position to hire foreigners. Um, but luckily, luckily I got a phone call from a recruiter for Puma to work in Germany. So it happened eventually, but it's such a frustrating thing 'cause I think people are hungry for that experience and opportunity.
Yeah. So why not show people how to make it happen?
Totally. I think it's why travel is such a big deal for people and it's a huge industry, you know, and it, and there are people that are constantly going abroad and everything else. I think people just, there's so much to discover and explore in this world that I think it's important to get outside of your own four walls and see what's, what else is out there.
Yes. I always joke that work gets in the way of all the travel that we have to do.
Yep, yep. Definitely true. But I have a belief that I work so that I can travel. We are on the, the same
page. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, um, is it okay if we downsize to a studio and live in 300 square feet so we can just travel half the year?
No problem. Okay. That's, that's a current argument I'm trying to have. I'm like, we can do it. We'll be fine.
I like it. We've even toyed this idea of RVing and all of that, you know? Mm-hmm. So it's, it's definitely a passion of mine for sure.
Yeah. There's just so many And, and it's also the heart of why I love this podcast because there's so many, every person has an amazing story and mm-hmm.
Some of the coolest stories are ones that you stumble upon because of how a trip doesn't go the way it's supposed to.
Mm-hmm. You know, like,
and you know, I ended up in, in Mongolia with two of my buddies, two Canadian guys and friends with in a random car or van with a guy that spoke German and Mongolian, and I'm like, well, now I know why I lived in Germany for a little while.
Wouldn't this wouldn't have worked otherwise? And it's just totally, yeah. He's telling us his story in, in broken English, mostly German, about going from Mongolian to Eastern Europe to work during the Soviet Union and. It's like this crazy story and you're like, history is so much more real and rich when that's the conversation you're having versus memorizing names and dates, like at a desk.
Yeah.
Yeah. Totally. No, I definitely agree with you. And it's a lot too about the experiences you had. You know, we learn so much and this is like, so the core of the the ELC work is that we learn so much through our experiences, you know? Mm-hmm. So the only way to unlearn those things that maybe aren't serving you is to do it through some sort of experiential process.
So I love travel because of that, because it's just a natural way to provide experiences that I can learn and grow from. So it's beautiful.
Let, let's talk more about the Elevate leadership. How did that begin? What does it provide people and what have you gotten out of, out of it?
Yeah. So, uh, I did this type of work.
I would say about 17 years ago. I was at a point in my life where I had recently been divorced. My daughter was two years old, uh, single mom trying to make things work. And, um, I really knew what was next for me. Like I knew I wanted to find a relationship that really worked with a, an amazing man, you know?
And I called up and actually, you know, Marelle? I do. Yes. Um, so I called up Marelle of all people 'cause she was somebody that I had worked with. One of my first jobs learned so much from her. She's a mover and a shaker, as you know. She's really connected with a lot of people. And I was calling her in the hopes that she would introduce me to some really awesome, like.
You know, bachelor men who had it going on and would be different from what I, my pattern was in dating. Mm-hmm. And she invited me to lunch and we sat down over lunch and over lunch she started to just ask me about my life in general and what I wanted and what I was looking for. And when we had that conversation, I was so inspired by the end of it and she said, you know what?
I know exactly the place for you to be. I want you to do this training. I think it will empower you and help you start to see what those patterns in relationship are so that you can reinvent them and have what you want. And I was like, definitely a yes right away. Mm-hmm. So I did that work and at the time I was working.
For a real estate company, um, managing properties. And out of that work I started to decide, you know, and it was more like a nine to five kind of, uh, a big company Yeah. In, uh, Southern California. But I clocked in, I sat at a desk, I helped people. I, you know, managed to staff all of that. And it was just so not inspiring at the time.
So I went through this course and thinking that I was gonna, you know, just find Mr. Wright and that was it. And I realized, wow, I'm not really doing what lights my fire and makes my heart smile and I want that, you know, and I had always wanted to work in the music industry. Um, I even interned at Virgin Records when I was in college, so I decided that I was gonna pursue that, and I, um, pretty much stalked Nederlander, which is a concert promoter because I love.
Live music, live theater, anything live. Mm-hmm. Like, I just think it's such a cool experience and you're moved by it. And, uh, told them that I wanted to come work there and I wanted to experience that and ended up getting, uh, an internship there. Um, and I worked with them for a few years, built some great relationships with people I still talk to, to this day.
But in the process I got a chance to see that, you know, this isn't necessarily what I want. I remember working at a venue and a guy in the music industry came up and I wanted to ask him questions about, you know, what he loved about it and everything else. And he said, do you love music? And I said, yeah, I do.
I love it a lot. And he's like, then don't work in this industry. Oh. And it sort of made my heart drop a little bit, but the more people I talk to, the more people. They had a love for the art and for the, the music and every, and my performance. The more they worked in it, the less glamorous it got for them.
And then I started to realize that where I was working currently, I was making a heck of a lot more money than the people who were, you know, my bosses and so on. So it was great because I got to see, okay, you know what? It's okay to chase my dreams and to follow what I think is my passion and find out that maybe it's not, and still be on the hunt and be someone who is seeking what it is.
Like I know that every door that opens leads me through a pathway, gets me closer and closer to where I'm supposed to be. Um, so just doing that work, uh, I came back, I volunteered, I would staff for them and like, you know, be a small group leader. Uh, ultimately the person that owned the company hired me to do a lot of their enrollment coaching.
So I would be coaching people on their dreams and what they wanted, their passion, all of that. And it was just, it became clear to me that my purpose was to give, yeah, it was to really be a space for people to wake up to their bliss and take action towards it and move in that direction and have it be so, 'cause so many times, number one, I think people don't think about what they want often enough.
If they do, I think sometimes they're afraid to take action to move towards it, or they're blocked in some way. They have s on, they can't see what's stopping them. So to. Sort of shine a light on what those might be and, and illuminate for people to pathway and then see them manifest what they want.
That's incredibly rewarding and rich for me and that's what I love more than anything else. So, um, when this company decided that they weren't gonna provide these core trainings anymore, my daughter was actually going through the program at that time, you know, soon as she turned 18, I was like, Hey, you know, this works.
Let's have a conversation. And she was like, yep, I wanna do it. Uh, and so I was around when they closed their doors. 'cause since then I had left there and decided to go into real estate with my husband. Um, it was just a natural progression. 'cause every time I would talk to people about what they wanted, they would say, I want a dream home.
And I'd say, great, describe it to me. So it was another way for me to really help people realize what they really wanted, their dream home, but. At any rate, when she turned 18, I knew it was gonna be great for her and a good grounding place to come from to really, you know, produce the results she wanted.
So when they said that they were no longer gonna do those core trainings, I was in immediately in like, solution mode. How do I solve this problem? Mm-hmm. Because this work is too important and it completely has transformed my life and the lives of so many people. So I gathered some folks together, we came up with a great idea to form a nonprofit out of it.
Basically just charge what we need to, to cover costs and produce this work so that we could still hire the trainers who are fantastic and been doing this for, you know, tens of years. Um, and be that vessel that really promotes people to jump in, take on their lives and take 'em to the next level. So that's what we do.
We do, uh, a training reporter. And it's a lot of work. Um, and I, I get paid in love and, uh, joy and all of that kind of stuff. So it's really, it's really just like my good work. I call, uh, the way I can make a difference in a stamp in this world. And it's been beautiful. People have reconciled with, you know, family members or, or people that they've loved and had some sort of falling out.
They've created families. They've, you know. Surpassed their expectations in the domain of career or taken on careers that they never thought was possible. I mean, it's just been really rich and rewarding.
And what, and what I love about ELC in comparison to other transformational, uh, workshops that are out there are that you guys offer discounts and scholarships to the people in the community who need it the most based on their influence, which, and you can correct me, are, um, teachers, um, military first responders and clergy?
Is that the right list?
Yeah. So, uh, full-time teachers, clergy, and police and veterans. So we do offer them scholarships. Uh, we feel like they, if their lives, first of all with teachers, I mean, goodness gracious. We owe so much to our teachers and they, they should be one of the highest paid jobs in the country, and they're just not.
So, and they shape the minds of our future, you know, so for us, if we have teachers whose lives are working and they're empowered and they're excited and they're connected to, you know, what matters to them, they're gonna just automatically transfer that to the students. Mm-hmm. Which I think is huge.
Police, you know, there's been definitely, you know, a lot of people pro against all of that. We believe that with, if they were, you know, coming from love and really committed to making a difference in the community and, and consistent at that level, then there would be such an impact on our communities clergy, you know, people listen to clergy members and what they have to say, and I don't care what religion it is, or you know, what the stand is.
I truly think at the end of the day it's all the same anyway. Mm-hmm. But, um, you know, I think when they are, they have such a, a, a reach in the community. If they're empowered and their lives are working and all of that, then I think they can make a bigger difference. And then of course, veterans just, you know, gosh, they've given so much to our country and that was actually my dad's idea when we were thinking, okay, who are we gonna serve?
His thing was like, we should serve veterans, you know? Yeah. Like give so much to this country and him being one, you know? And, and that was so near and dear to my heart that I was like, yep, definitely. So wanna give back to those guys? 'cause there's a lot of transition time, especially when they're coming out.
Mm-hmm. Um, and what's next? And so giving them an opportunity to dream again and really carve out a life that is extraordinary.
And, and I think for everyone that's listening who isn't familiar with what transformational workshops and work is. How I view it is there's so much stuff that as we go from being wide-eyed, innocent, anything is possible, kids that happened in our lives that we take on as both baggage and as facts.
That that's how the way the world works when it's not necessarily true. Mm-hmm. And so by the time you end up, you know, wanting to, to have the life that you thought you'd have and you don't, and you're looking for places to go, workshops like this and programs allow you to get rid of all the stuff that's not real, that we've even hanging onto that isn't serving us.
And it's like taking off winter coats. When the springtime comes and you get to be, you get back to what you really care about, get back to what you're committed to and love and see the freedom in going after everything that lights you up. Like I, like, I wish that these were programs that were taught in school and universities Yeah.
All the time. 'cause a lot of it ties back to emotional intelligence and awareness. Mm-hmm. And just the anthropology of humans and the human minds and culture that we think we know because we're living it. But the reality is like we are our own worst coaches. And um, you know, like we're caught between listening to the, you know, 8-year-old in US that is, gets excited and gets, um, you know, optimistic about things and just wants to say yes.
And then we get caught up behind our ego and our self-doubt and they're in conflict most of the time as an adult. So anyone listening, totally agree. Go find one of these courses. Obviously we recommend ELC. Um. But there, you know, there's different ones in your own neighborhood. And just start, because I have met some of the coolest people I know through taking, um, you know, leadership personal development programs.
And I am always impressed at who everyone else knows. Like half the people that have probably been on this podcast have met through that at this point. Mm-hmm. And yep. No, definitely people who are up to things, it's like, who is the fir, the five people you spend the most time with are the ones that influence where you're gonna be in five years.
And if you can spend your time with people who are awesome and up to something and hungry for life and fired up on things, just like how you described what teachers could be like for our students, it changes. Mm-hmm. Everything.
A hundred percent. And I really believe like more people like the whole idea of critical mass, you know?
Mm-hmm. That if more people around us were really. You know, vibrating at that level and really just lives working and, and coming from love versus fear and yeah. Just, you know, having things around them work and supporting people around them that will trickle out and it'll make a huge difference in this world.
And, you know, for goodness sake, I think it's really wanted and needed right now. So many people coming from fear more than love, and I think it's a, if we can create that shift that would be extraordinary.
It would, it would be such a game changer for, um, just everything that we're trying to create in the world.
Like, it, it, we have enough people and enough smart people and enough power to literally change whatever we want if we all Yep. Get on board.
Totally. And like I think, you know, I talk to my husband about this all the time because, you know, we have, we're different human beings. We have different opinions.
Sometimes, you know, his views aren't necessarily mine, but I listen to him when he shares his views and I can understand that point of view and sometimes I can align with it and vice versa. Mm-hmm. And I think one of the biggest challenges we face just as human beings is that we don't really take the time to really just listen to each other.
You know, that alone could solve every problem in the world, every problem personally. You know, communication is key, not only in relationships, you know, interpersonal relationships, but I think it's so key in, in every relationship. Um, and really, you know, how we make choices to better our environments and our community and our world.
One of the, my favorite takeaways is being able to listen to people, even when they say something like a word or a topic that might have triggered me previously. And then to also be aware of who's talking to me. Is it them, the person that's inside that comes from love, or is it the fear and ego inside of them that's talking to me right now And mm-hmm.
Like, I love the quote that, um, behind every complaint or concern is, is someone's commitment. And if you can Yeah. Take away the layers that sound like they're complaining or sound like they're making you wrong and hear what they actually care about underneath it all, it's a game changer. Mm-hmm. Because it's no longer.
Mm-hmm. You know, like I take an example of this podcast, you know, people would say, well, there's so many competitors, are you sure you wanna do it? They weren't saying don't do it. What they were really saying was, mm-hmm we care about you. We want you to win. We don't want you to be heartbroken. We want this to work for you.
Like all that was layered under, I don't know. It's like, okay, like if I can give totally, being able to hear what they really want me to say versus the words coming outta their mouth makes such a difference in not just hearing the people I care about, but hearing the people that at first glance, I think, I'm like, I don't know.
This person's kind of crazy. And then I allow them to talk and just listen and I'm like, oh, okay. I think I can get where they're coming from. That makes sense to me. Like, let me go ask if this is what they really mean. And it allows you to have dialogue with people that you normally would, you know, brush off or walk away from, or not want to engage in because of what the external voice of theirs is saying.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, no, definitely. It's just listening to kind of like the, between the lines, you know? Mm-hmm. Listening from a, if you listen contextually, 'cause there's this other quote, like, the meaning of the message lies in the listener. Yes. That's great. And so when, when we're listening, we're listening from our worldview, we're listening from our history, from our stuff, from, you know, all the things that push buttons in us and don't, and all of that.
So I think that's brilliant. If you can really just listen from their worldview. Then that makes a huge impact in terms of how you receive the message. And a lot of messages could probably be received more effectively that way.
Mm-hmm. Yes. I was listening to, uh, Oprah's Super Soul Conversations podcast the other day.
She had on, um, Brian Katie as a guest.
Byron Katie.
I
love
her. Yes. She's
amazing.
Well, and my favorite takeaway from the episode was, um, Byron Katie said that, um, defense is the first act of war And mm-hmm. You know, Oprah got triggered like, well, what do you mean? Like, I defend all the girls in Africa that go to my school.
I defend these people. Mm-hmm. And she's like, no, no, no, no. Like it's, you do want to, um, stand up for and protect and be a voice for the things you care about, but protecting is totally different than being, than defending. Mm-hmm. It was like, I loved that like. As I'm listening to it, you know, obviously it's prerecorded, but as I'm listening to it, Oprah and I are getting the same aha moment at the same time.
And I was like, yes. Um, but really it's, it, it's so profound to think about like how you approach something differently when you protect it and stand for it versus fight for it. Mm-hmm. And you're like, holy shit. Mm-hmm. Like, wow. It changes how you wanna talk about everything that you care about. And going back to what you were saying before, it's like it's coming from a place of love, and love is going to win.
We don't need to be so aggressive about it, or like being aggressive about love, which defeats the whole purpose.
Right. It's like Mother Theresa, I think, had said something along the lines of when people are asking her to come to an anti-war protest or something, she's like, I will never come to an anti-war protest.
But if you have a protest about love or you know, something like a peace, a peace protest, or not a peace protest, but a peace rally or whatever, I will come to that and it's just like that whole idea that. What you resist persists. Yes. You know, if you push resistance into it, it's just gonna get bigger.
And you know, I think that sometimes we do that. Like, I even think, and this might be a controversial statement, but uh, some of the women's marches, um, I can appreciate women getting together and wanting to be in collaboration and create comradery and all of that. And then sometimes what I'm seeing is a lot of anti this and against this and, you know, not for this and fighting against this and mm-hmm.
In my opinion, I think that that is all going to just cause and generate more of it. And I don't know that, I mean, I think that's true in everything, but that's just an example for me. Um,
yeah. I used to get across the different political protests as well. Oh yeah. It's totally, you know, I don't, it's the whole theory of like, don't throw stones if you're a glass house and mm-hmm.
A hundred percent of how do we come from what we're for, not what we're not for, because so of, it's like when you never say never, right? Mm-hmm. If you say never, chances are it's going to end up happening that way and you're gonna end up doing it. And so often what we are against, um, you're against based on the surface conversation, not really what's at the root of what that other group is trying to come across.
So what are you for? Like, it's, it's a stronger place to stand on in regards to what are you creating that's positive for the world than what are you trying to mm-hmm. Knock down.
Totally. Yeah. ABS agreed a hundred percent. And there's actually, and I know you know this too, I know you said you had done some landmark work, and I know they present this in landmark as well, but the whole conversation about coming from a responsible conversation Yes.
Versus a victim conversation. Yeah. To me is one of the keys that can unlock the doors for so many people, and in terms of empowerment and really reframing how we see things. Mm-hmm. If we can look at it and go, okay, what's this? Thing that I have resistance to that's popping up into my life. What is it revealing for me?
Showing me what's the opportunity for me to grow and learn here? It's pushing some button I have that I've generated somewhere growing up, usually zero to eight. Yep. Uh, so what's that wound? And now I have an opportunity to heal it because if it's still poking me, I haven't healed it all the way. And so much so that when you heal that you can actually, uh, you know, not have those same aversions to things that you did in the past.
And, you know, just coming from that responsible place of like, okay, how do I empower myself in this conversation versus, oh, they're doing that again, and this is happening to me and so on. There's no empowerment there. So that's a huge conversation that I'm so grateful, you know, c and you know, other.
Organizations are still out, you know, communicating, articulating, voicing, so that people can wake up to it.
Yeah. There's a article we have on the website about what it means to take full responsibility. Mm-hmm. And how scary that is. But yeah, so basically for everyone listening, once you take full responsibility of your life, you realize that the only person to blame and the only person to fix it are both you.
And it's crushing sometimes when you're first in that, uh, experience because you know all the blame that you've been putting in other people. Suddenly you transfer to yourself. But once you're able to dis to work through that and dissolve it through these different programs or getting different support, you're able to see how powerful you are.
Because if you can create all of this, um, in a negative way, you can create all of this in a positive way for you and other people. And. It's, you know, as you start getting more and more sophisticated in taking responsibility, it almost becomes a joke with yourself because you start laughing at how much we are in our own ways.
And while it's easier and more comfortable to blame outside of us, there's no power in it. There's no way to, to fix it until we're like, Nope, it's me. I got this. Doesn't matter how crazy or horrible the situation is. Whatever I'm feeling right now, I own those feelings and I'm the only one that can transform it.
Um, so obviously it's a much bigger, much bigger conversation probably than we can have in one podcast, but, um, it's such an access for people to have power.
Yeah, it's a really great reframe, you know, and we actually have a little saying, no fault, no blame, no guilt, no shame. Um, so we have a little bit of a different twist on responsible.
It's like, uh, you know, not blaming others and not blaming yourself. 'cause how many times do we take, you know, the blame for things? Mm-hmm. And then let ourselves go down a spiral and beat ourselves up about things. And then you're a victim to yourself, you know? Yeah. Great point. But if you can really let that go and say, okay, I don't get to blame anyone.
I don't get to blame myself. There's no fault here if this happened perfectly on cue for an opportunity for me to grow. What is that? And then you reframe the way you're interpreting the situation. 'cause that's the only thing you have power on is how you interpret it, right? Mm-hmm. Then you can move forward and really have just a different feeling, a different experience about it.
You can take different action that is forwarding and serves you and those around you.
So when we were first talking about, um, ELC, you mentioned that you first reach out to Marnell to find an amazing partner out there. Yep. Um, and you did find him. So how did you find him and how did that come up in parallel to ELC getting created to what it is today?
Well, um, I did a lot of work, so I, I realized it wasn't about them over there, you know? Mm-hmm. It was more what's going on over here, and that I had a pattern, and my pattern came from good old dad who you got B, why didn't you get an A? Right. So I made up as a child, like, ugh. Nothing I ever do is enough, right?
Mm-hmm. That was my internal conversation. So it was really like, I'm not good enough. And so I would either attract men who would make me write about that, um, or I would attract men that didn't have life working and stuff. And then I did. And so like, I even dated a guy who, you know, moved in after like a week and a half because he didn't really have a place to be.
Um, so I would take care of them and try to, you know, I'd be a three grower, right? Mm-hmm. Like they're a three, but I can grow them into a 10 by golly. So I would do that and, uh, then it made me feel superior and like I was good enough and I was, you know, making a difference and all of that. So through a lot of deep, uh, soul searching and a lot of work and mean, I did Alison Armstrong's, um, tax trainings that talk about understanding men and the distinct, the distinctions between men and women and why they do what they do and how completely out of sync we are.
Uh, I started to listen men in a different way, and I started to gain confidence in who I am and what I have to offer, and had a major breakthrough through the trainings that I did about, you know, my own self-worth and my value and what I can contribute that, you know, just when all of that happened, bang, it was like a magnet and I attracted this amazing man who, you know.
Could teach me things and I could teach him things. And I feel like we're so on the same like, uh, pedestal together. Mm-hmm. You know? Mm-hmm. And we really do co-create a ton together, you know, and it's been easy and empowering and loving and compassionate and so incredible. So, um, that, that's just another reason I love doing the work I do.
And, you know, with Transformational Tribe experience, we even have a whole segment there that is designated to talk about relationships and how men and women are distinct and, you know, whether you're in a heterosexual relationship or not, there are going to be men in our lives. And so it's the same across the board.
You know, your father's, your sons, all of that kind of stuff, your friends. Mm-hmm. Um. So that's a major message that I love getting out there and I love coaching relationship with people because it was such an eye-opener and an aha for me that, um, I wanna give that away.
Yeah. And are you guys partners, um, in your businesses together?
We are partners
in, uh, real estate and then ELC. I'm the founding president of the board and I have a board of directors. He's not a board of director, but he's like. The, uh, what do you call it, the brains behind the bra or, yeah, he's always given me great ideas and we've implemented so many of his ideas and he's just been such a contribution that, you know, it feels like we're in partnership there too.
But technically no. But in real estate, yes. Absolutely. And he and I plan a lot of the, we do all of our Porsche adventures together. I mean, it's really nice because we both work in real estate and we don't really have a brick and mortar. We work from home, which gives us more flexibility to really, you know, reach out and do what we do, ag and excellence, and then have time to focus on other projects as well.
Mm-hmm. So we do a lot together and sometimes people look at us and say, I don't know how you guys are not at each other's throats now, because why couldn't we do that? And I really. Um, I owe a lot to him because he's such a great communicator and he is, you know, willing to talk about stuff when it's not working and both of us get to shift and all of that.
So it's, he's a great partner in everything and, um, you know, a huge support in my life, like being someone like me who loves to do a million things at once. Mm-hmm. It takes a special kind of guy to be okay with that and to have patience with that and to not feel like left out or anything.
Yes. So
it's really great.
Yep. To be a powerful lady, there needs to be a powerful man in that life. Mm-hmm.
That is
right. That is totally
right. And I got one of those, so I'm super grateful.
Well, I really want to get to what you have created because you just had your first. Program when I, like days before I was introduced to you this past February for the Transformation Tribe experience.
So
mm-hmm.
What is that? How did that come together? How did it go in February? Great.
Yeah. Transformational tribe experience. Like I've always loved the idea of creating a tribe. I have like to have, I'm blessed in that I have a lot of amazing women in my life. Um, and that came a lot out of being an only child, I think growing up and not having and moving a lot.
So we were in New Orleans and we were in Ghana, then we moved to Southern California like a couple places. And so I always really craved that home base, that group of friends who I could turn to for whatever. And I didn't have the, oh, this is my friend so and so from kindergarten. We've known each other all of our lives because of all the moving.
Mm-hmm. So. Tribe has been sort of a near and dear thing to me, and I really think and have a belief that women will save the world. And I know that's a really silly thing to say, maybe, but
it's not, it's, it's supported by science as well. Like, um, they have all the statistics out there about all these countries that were, that are in conflict with each other.
If you actually focused on the mothers alone, just the mothers mm-hmm. In those countries. Mm-hmm. Because they're such a force, whether they are recognized for it or not, that's where change starts to happen in the home. And then it impacts, yeah. Out from there.
Totally. Totally. Yep. And I, I remember I had a coach one time do this whole analogy of the seed in the soil, and she was talking masculine, feminine, and she was saying that women are like the soil, and men are the seed, and the seed cannot grow in brittle, dry, you know, unfertilized soil.
So women in essence, are the context. So we are the soil, and you know, men, if they are in rich, nourishing, loving soil, they will grow into these tall trees and drop fruit into the soil, replenishing the soil. So my lesson from that is, number one, we're the context makers. Mm-hmm. We're the ones who, mm-hmm.
Provide context for whatever to arise out of. And um, I think if we can come from that context, which a lot of women just naturally do of peace and compassion and love, then that can revolutionize the way the world works. And not to be in conflict with the men, but to see that, wow, that man needs more love.
Mm-hmm. That man needs more, whatever. And, and raise them up in that way. And then we're working on partnership and then we can actually, together make a massive change and difference. But it's, the other thing I've learned from it is that I get to go first, you know? Mm-hmm. Sometimes I want my husband to give me everything I want, whether it's love or attention or you know, romance and all of that.
And he is not necessarily gonna go first because he is more the content. Right. But if I go first and I provide that he. Naturally and automatically chip into what I'm providing. It's pretty powerful and I think women wield a lot of power in that place. And if we can learn that about ourselves and direct and, you know, uh, be powerful sort of in that quiet yet impactful way, then a lot of things can shift.
Yeah. And, and there's such an opportunity to honor what each person has, that it's complimentary for each other to be at their greatness. So yeah. Re you know, whether it is a, um, whatever type of relationship you're in, whether it's parent, child, or a couple, or, you know, a friendship. There's something that we're, we're connected for a reason.
The same yin and yang principles. Yeah. So what can the other person offer you and what, what can you allow them to contribute and what can you contribute to them? Mm-hmm. So that you're completing each other, even if it's in these, in small moments, but there's something that we need from each other versus, you know, being the, being individualist to the extent that we don't allow anyone in, and we don't allow anyone else to grow beside us.
Totally. Totally. And like, just the whole idea of the transformational tribe is that sometimes, especially nowadays, so many women. Our business owners, entrepreneurs in the workplace, they are exuding a lot of, you know, masculine traits, frankly. Mm-hmm. You know, a lot of doing, a lot of, uh, work. Like we have to kind of, even, we've had to over the years be more masculine in order to be considered, you know, credible to be taken seriously.
All of that kind of stuff. And my mission in that is to sort of allow for that power and everything else, but also not forget the feminine and, you know, the softness and all of that. And. You know, transformational tribe, the, the mission behind it is to really like, support women in having a breakthrough in the three areas that I think, at least for me is true.
We come up against a lot, which is our bodies. You know, women are the worst, in my opinion, about our body image and not ever accepting ourselves and loving our bodies for what they are and so on and so forth. And so really having breakthroughs around that, um, beauty, it's all over the place and we are constantly comparing ourselves to others and, you know, as we age in particular, like I'm in my mid forties.
And I'm starting to see gravity take effect on certain areas of my body. I'm starting to go, whoa, how do I combat that? You know? Uh, so we're really embracing the beauty and, and the aging process and all of that, and balance, you know, that's a huge one for me. And, and I, we kind of like the alliteration body beauty balance.
Mm-hmm. And, but balance for me is really about harmony. You know, how do you create harmony in your life so that, you know, if my career is the violin and my relationship is the drum, and so on and so forth, that it's all playing together beautifully. Uh, and you know, not trying to just like play the game of whack-a-mole, like, okay, boom.
Yes, okay, now next. You know? So, um, that's really the opportunity. And, and if women can. Have those breakthroughs and really embrace and accept themselves for who they are and really be armed with like how to go about the world and, and be that context of grace and power and beauty and love and all of that.
Well, we're unstoppable at that point, you know? So that's really the mission behind it. And our first retreat was fantastic. You know, we've got really great feedback from everybody. Sunday was beautiful. Like we did, so the, the, we did a Friday night, Saturday, Sunday, and you know, we had Sound Bath on Friday night after doing a lot of conversations.
Sat we started Saturday and Sunday with, you know, yoga, but more like yin yoga. Mm-hmm. Not necessarily best and, and furious yoga, um, to get grounded. And we had great conversations around body and what is your interpretation and where does that come from? And, and then ways to shift out of it. We even did some HandsOn stuff and um, and, and we had a, um, cacao ceremony with the shaman on Saturday night, which is really cool.
This woman came in and did a lot of stage clearing for us, and then we had a cacao ceremony, which basically in essence is this really rich cacao, uh, which is like chocolate milk basically. But you know, we all sat around, we drank the cacao because the cacao has. So many antioxidant properties and supposed to really open the heart and allow you to express emotions and feel emotions.
And you know, at first we were kind of like, okay, well we're drinking chocolate and that's all fine. And then all of a sudden the conversations shifted and we got deeper and we were all just sitting in this living room and you know, for like an hour and a half talking at a deep level about so many things.
And it was just so beautiful. It's like the movie.
Oh, yes. Yes. I'm sure there's a lot. Yeah, totally. I love that movie. It's one of my top five favorites. But they believe in the power of cacao, and I'm like, yes.
They were onto something uhhuh. So, yes, absolutely. And Sunday was like more learning, more expanding, uh, and we pampered them.
So they had one-on-one services. They had makeovers by a enter, you know, a makeup artist who works in the entertainment industry. They got massage, they got, uh, reiki, like a sound healing. Mm-hmm. One-on-one. They so many amazing things that was beautiful at the end that all these women were sitting in the circle and looked gorgeous, felt gorgeous.
We're excited and grounded and like ready to take on the world. So it was beautiful and we're so looking forward to, um, continuing that and really having it be just, you know, more and more and all of that. So it was awesome.
I'm really excited to get to go to a future one. How often are you guys gonna have these weekends?
Uh, we're gonna do, we're doing two more this year. So one is gonna be on Friday, June 21st through the 23rd. And then the last one of the year will be September 27th to the 29th, and we've rented out this beautiful home in the wine country Temecula, um, like a million dollar home overlooking the entire wine valley, uh, with indoor and outdoor space and everything else.
And it's, it's just really gorgeous and so super excited about that. And it's just beautiful because all the people that we're, we're working with, it seems like end up being women. And the woman that is, um, the owner of the home, she's just so beautiful and we had a great conversation with her and like what she's up to in life.
So it's great to be able to also support women, uh, with what they've got going on as well.
Yes. It's mind blowing to me how things are naturally also for powerful ladies becoming like all women involved. And I'm not doing it on purpose at all. Like, I'm just looking for who's out there, who's available, who can help, and um, yeah, like I have an amazing, um, obviously Jordan, who's our audio engineer producer, I have a graphic designer, Anna, who was killing it.
Um mm-hmm. And then even Toma, who's my web developer, he called me on International Women's Day and he's like, well, I wanna wear a T-shirt, but can mine say I support powerful ladies? I'm like, yes, it can. We're gonna, we're gonna start making men shirts. I love it. You got it. Um, that's perfect. So for the events that are coming up in June and September, are there limits to how many people can attend?
Yeah, we have uh, 'cause the house can only hold so many. Yeah. So basically, um, there's two different price points if you want to stay in the home, which we highly recommend 'cause it's like just a really great long sleepover, you know? And you get to just be more connected to the women and be available and there for everything.
Um, the house can only accommodate about 20 women. Mm-hmm. So we we're capping it at that. Um, and it's 1497 for that two and a half days. So it includes lodging, we feed you all the processes, the pampering, the massage, all that kind of stuff. So it's a pretty killer deal. And, um, I think it's totally worth its weight and gold.
Mm-hmm. And then if people wanna just drive in, if they're local or nearby, then the local rate is 9 97, which also concludes all the food and the processes and the pampering. So
yeah, it's, when you break that up by day, it's nothing.
Oh, totally. Yeah. It's a really good deal. And more than anything, and just like everything I learn in life, it's really about the connections you make and the people that are there.
Mm-hmm. And you know, the friendships that you generate, like our last group of ladies are still talking on social media and they're planning a reunion. It's, it's really great,
the power in social connection and the power in bringing people together who are in that space of power. Mm-hmm.
Like,
I love seeing how that starts growing.
Like one of my favorite things about our, our campaign on International Women's Day is seeing the women who don't know each other, like chatting back and forth and connecting mm-hmm. And giving each other, you know, emoji high fives and everything else. And to think about all these women from different eras of my life that are around the world, and now they're finding other people that they adore, like I adore them all.
Like that lit me up. So, totally. Yeah. I totally get it. Yeah. So you're obviously in a place now where you are probably usually feeling powerful and you get to see power in other people and generate that and be the cause of it. Like when people hear your story and they're like, okay, well she sounds perfect.
What are the areas of your life besides, you know, finding the right guy for you that you really feel like you've had victory over through your own journey?
Definitely relationship. That was huge, but more relationship to with myself. Mm-hmm. You know, I was the person who was always trying to please the guy or you know, be I, what I've really woken up to is that like.
How I look had been so important to me and, uh, you know, collecting accolades and awards and things like that, growing up even as a young girl was super important because then that's how I felt like I was valuable. Mm-hmm. You know, so really breaking free from all of that and constantly challenging myself to let go of that, uh, feeling that I need to be.
Uh, look a certain way or be credible. I've realized, right, lately I've been having great deep conversations with my partner in transformation tribe, Mary Kay. And, you know, we do the work consistently. We're always working with each other. And one of the things I realized that, wow, it's really important for me to be credible.
Like, this is why I work so hard. And I try to do an excellent job at everything, because if anything goes awry, then I feel like, oh, you know, yeah, I'm not credible, you know, and that's a big deal for me. So it went more from a looking good and all that. 'cause I mean, I, I'll be like, I was just in a workshop with, um, this woman, Tej Paul, who comes from Ville, uh, resort and Spa that I went to with, and was like, oh my gosh, I love her so much.
And I invited her to come do a one day workshop on intuition with ELC. And I was like, you know what, I, I'm not really understanding this part. She's like, okay, get up, come over here. And I'm like, oh. So I was in front of the entire class working through my stuff, you know? So it's not so much about being afraid to look bad in front of other people or show them my icky stuff or whatever the, the stuff I'm still working on.
Mm-hmm. But I know my drive part of it comes from wanting to, you know, make sure I do the best I can and be credible and, and I get really attached to those results. And that's something that's a constant battle and journey for me to balance being committed to producing results and that I'm not my results, you know?
Yes. So that's a big ongoing lesson. And I think a lot of the lessons that we have in life are life lessons and they don't go away, and you never gonna be completely. There, wherever there is, you know, there, it's, that's what I love about life too, is that it is a constant journey and a constant growing, and that's what keeps it rich and real for me.
Mm-hmm. When you, um, are having a day where you aren't feeling your best, what are things that you do to get yourself back on track?
Um, mostly, well, yoga, I love, I just am, I have a in and out relationship with yoga. I'm, I'm always wanting to stay in it forever and ever, and. Then life likes and gets busy, and then I start to realize, oh my gosh, I haven't done yoga in like a month.
I need to go back. So Yep. That really helps ground me and center me. And you know, just anything that can get you out of your head and into your body I think is tremendous, because I can be real in my head a lot. Um, but I try to start my day with 20 things I'm grateful for, which is a long list. Yes. Um, but I really challenge myself to come up with it because I al you know, I always do come up with it.
And I think setting that tone for your day helps you not have as many bad days, but yoga or I'll pick up the phone and call one of my tribe and be like, okay, here's what's going on. I feel, you know, especially in my mid forties, there are some days where I'm just like, man, I don't feel happy right now. I don't know why I don't feel happy, but I just feel kind of yuck, you know?
Mm-hmm. And, um. So I'll pick up the phone or I'll talk to my husband, um, or I'll go do yoga, or sometimes I just accept it for what it is and go, you know what? Today's just gonna be a day that it's not awesome. You know, it's gonna just be a day where I give myself a breather and I'm okay with, you know, where I am.
Because again, if I'm resisting that, well, it isn't going anywhere. So surrendering to it, you know, pausing for peace and just allowing myself to be whatever I'm being mm-hmm. Uh, allows it to lift a lot quicker than if I am upset about it or trying to change it.
Yeah. And, and it's okay to have one of those days.
It's okay to have a day where you totally need to focus on restoring yourself and slowing down. Yep. With everything that you have going on and, you know, being a wife and a mom and responsible for all these different organizations, how do you set up your day in regards to time and schedule so that you fulfill all the areas of your life that you're committed to?
You know, it's, it's less, for me about a rigorous schedule, because that's almost impossible, because things get blown at me. You know, or like I just have things pop up that are unexpected. One of the things I try to do that I find has served me tremendously is the whole idea of touching things once.
Mm-hmm. So if something comes my way, if somebody calls, instead of going, oh, I'll call them back later. I pick up the phone and I call them. Now, if a task comes my way that I know I can knock out right away, I knock it out right away because it's almost like any of those things that are lingering or incomplete, take up space in my head.
Yes, yes. And I wanna, I wanna close those loops as quickly as I can so that I can move it outta my head and then have space for something new to show up. Um, so I try to touch it once as much as possible. And if I don't, if there's not an opportunity to do that or it, it is, something needs to happen later, I calendar it.
I put everything in my calendar and. I will say that if my calendar ever disappeared, I would be like, oh my God, I dunno what to do. But, um, for the most part, luckily with the cloud and everything else, yeah, it's always there, you know? Um, but yeah, I just calendar things that are important just so that I don't forget because I, I do have a lot of balls in the air.
Um, but yeah, that whole idea of just touching things once has been. A lifesaver for me.
Yeah, I think that's a great tip. Especially when it comes to emails and texts and phone calls. Um, yep. I've taken up the habit of not opening text messages unless I know I can respond in that moment. Mm-hmm. Like so often we're curious, like, I'll just peek and it's like, no, no, no, no, no.
Like, don't even bother peeking unless you know that you can complete the circle. Um, so I had a friend horrified that I had like 57 text messages that weren't read. Um mm-hmm. And I'm like, yeah, but like, this is me actually honoring the communication because when I sit down, I can go through them all pretty quickly versus opening it and never responding.
It'll go into a black hole.
It's different for different people because like, I, it gives me a sense of peace when I don't have any text messages or when my inbox has only like 10 emails in it. Things like that. Like that's like I get rid of it, like I touch it and I get rid of it, you know? Mm-hmm. But I get what you're saying because it's so important.
Like if you can't respond in that moment, and sometimes I am guilty of that, like opening things and I'm at dinner with my husband and I get something and I'm like, oh, I gotta respond. You know? So, and I think that's a whole thing. We're so response prone, so kudos to you for being able to put that aside and let it accumulate and then handle it when you have the time.
I think that's a great practice and something, a tip I will take from you.
Well, and I think it's helpful now that we have like all the smart watches also. Like I have a Fitbit, so I'll get mm-hmm. The brief text message, like initial couple of words, so I can know pretty quickly like, this is it now, or this can be a later, and so that helps.
Mm-hmm. And I'm a big believer also in deleting things right away. Um mm-hmm. I remember when we first. Like, when I first started working, an email was still relatively new, that everyone was so concerned that you had to save everything. And I now adopt the strategy of like, respond, save it to an actual folder either in the cloud or on your computer, or you delete it.
Like you, there's nothing, yeah, there's nothing that I need in there. And in the event there would be something crazy like a lawsuit. Guess what? There are people who are trained how to data mine and find it, and it doesn't need to be me. Yeah. Because there's just, I mean, I am very curious what's going to happen with, um, old data recycling and purging systems that we're gonna need because we just have so much digital junk now.
Yep. But we'll see. We'll let, we'll, we'll let totally Wally figure that one out.
Yeah, it's just clutter. It's electronic clutter, which I think does the same thing for your brain, you know? So, uh, yes,
yes. Um, one of the biggest questions people ask me when I am, uh, helping them on a, uh, coaching level 'cause like, or the coaching I do incorporates like living your best life, but your finances and organizing and minimizing, like all stuff, stuff that's in your brain.
Mm-hmm. Stuff that exists in real life and digital stuff. And one of the biggest challenges people have are. Our photos, real photos, digital photos. Mm-hmm. Like we're, we're so, we're so prone now to like, take a picture of something and like, uh, instead of even like business cards, right. You'll just like screen grab it and not take the actual business card.
And I'm like, you know. Mm-hmm. I don't know if that's a great practice unless it's going to an app right away, because you still now need to deal with that photo and Right. It's like, it's almost better to just put the contact in your phone and not do the other two steps at all. Like, you know, now that we, especially now that we can, um, what's it called when you airdrop everything.
So if you can just airdrop your own contact to somebody, like it's good for you and for them.
Yeah. That's a great idea. I didn't even know you could airdrop contacts. I know photos and stuff, but that's a fantastic idea actually.
Yeah, it's a, it's a game. I'm looking forward to the day when you can just like tap phones and it does it for you or something.
I'm sure it'll happen. Yeah, I
bet it will.
So who are women that have been influences throughout your life and the ones that influence you today?
Uh, well, definitely my mother has been a major influence. She, I think it's taught me a lot about being compassionate, um, caring about others. She is a massive giver.
Um, and she is powerful. Like she can just hold a lot and I've learned a lot about from her. And so she's somebody that I so appreciate and I'm so grateful to have in my life, uh, to look up to, um, other women. I think, you know, like you mentioned Byron Katie, I love the work she does. Uh, I love. The compassion that she brings to the table.
Mm-hmm. Uh, and like her process, the work, I don't know if you're even familiar, she did a little bit of avid on that Super Soul Sunday. 'cause I did listen to that. Um, I think it was a replay, but I've heard it a long time ago. But the whole, the questions in the reframing, it's, it's a lot of what we were talking about earlier about really asking yourself, is that thought true?
Yeah. Can I absolutely say it's true? What do I think feel, how do I react when I believe that thought? And who would I be without that thought? And then reframing the thought to have it work for you that that simple process that doesn't take very long can revolutionize so many things in your life that may not be working right now.
So I love that work that she does. Um, yeah. And I love Maryanne Williamson. You know, I think she. Such a champion for love and uh, I've looked up to her work and really find her to be someone super credible and that I align with in so many ways. And, um, and really and stand behind, you know? I know she's running for president right now.
Yep. It's so funny. I told my husband I'm gonna vote for her. He was like, wait a minute, wait a minute. And then he started to point out a lot of things and I was like, okay, well I'm gonna think about it.
Well, it's exciting when, anyway. It's exciting when somebody who comes from that place wants to go into that arena, which is so usually not about love.
Yeah, totally. And, um, I have a, a group of my girlfriends and I were reading a book In Miracle, A Course in Miracles Together and Uhhuh Yeah. We read her book because we're like, okay, this is take, this is gonna take us forever. Like how do we, how do we keep the ener energy and momentum going as we're reading this?
So we, we read her book and we're reading others, but, um, it's, yeah. You don't think of people who are so compassionate about people in the world wanting to step into that role and mm-hmm. I almost can't imagine what it would be like if that's who is leading any country. Yeah. Including ours. Yep. Like what, totally, what would, how, like what would happen if that was going on?
Um, 'cause it's just, it's not, there's nothing selfish in that space.
Yeah, definitely. She just has a, a way about, and she's very intelligent. I mean, I think she is one of the smartest people I've heard, so, you know, it'll be interesting to see what evolves from that. Um, so yeah, so she is a big one. And then, uh, Esther Hicks is somebody that I also really value what her message is.
I don't know that I believe how it came because she channels, you know, through Abraham and so on. That's the, the behind the story. Um, so the jury's still out on that. I'm not quite sure like that. That's how it comes. But however it comes, the message is so valuable in terms of raising your vibrational level, really asking for things.
And so they're given to you. Um, just the context that she operates from everything she has to say aligns. So much with, you know, how I believe and what I think. Yes. That I use it in my life every day and it's really valuable stuff.
That was a big breakthrough for me in regards to, um, looking at different places that have great things to say and not getting stuck on how it came from, like the origin.
Yeah. Yeah. I, I struggled a lot, um, with like my relationship with Christianity, which is what I grew up in and having mm-hmm. Like a divided like Catholic Protestant family. And even though we were believing in 99% of the same stuff, like there'd being drama in that. Um, and then mm-hmm. And then like, you know, seeing so many great things from other religions and I just got to a point where if the message matters.
And it works. Yep. We're keeping it and there's so many great messages across the board from all religions, from speakers, from, you know, everyday humans and the wisdom that they have to share, that we just need to be capturing the wisdom and not worrying so much about all the other noise around it. So totally agree with, you know, taking the message that Esther has and not getting lost in how she's getting it.
Totally. Yeah. And it could very well be true. I'm not opposed to it being true, but Yeah. You know, some part of me is a little scientific and like, well I dunno, it's really true and, you know, but either way it's all good. And, and at the end of the day, I mean, the golden rule is it for me, you know, do unto others as you would have 'em do unto you.
Mm-hmm. And, uh, do un unto yourself as you would have do unto others too. I think is, is huge because like, I'll certainly. Do for others a lot more than I do for myself sometimes. So always, yeah. Sometimes it's a bit of a reverse for me, but you know, I think overall if we could just love one another and open up our hearts to one another and look for the similarities more than the differences, uh, we'd be well ahead of the game.
Completely, completely agree. Um, we ask everybody on the show where you think you land on the powerful lady scale, uh, zero being average, everyday human, and 10 being super powerful. Lady. Where do you feel today? Where do you feel on average,
um, today? I feel I would feel I'm a nine. Excellent. And someone who definitely thinks of others a lot and really about, you know, big thinking and how to make this world a better place.
And I'm actively involved in ways to do so. So I think that that's kind of where I would rate myself. I don't wanna cut myself short. I think it's important to have confidence. Yeah. And there's always room to grow, you know, there's always the next level. So I would, I don't ever think I'm a 10, you know, I think there's always places to be.
I will act like I'm a 10 and know that I've got always room to grow. Mm-hmm. Um, and then on average, I would say I'm probably an eight or a nine on average. You know, I think I have most good days. Like my husband calls me a Pollyanna. He's like, I should always have a positive outlook on things. And, and I like that.
You know, I think it's important to focus on what works and what you want versus what's not working and what you don't want. So.
If you can choose to be positive, why not choose positive?
Totally. And that's the beauty of this world and life and is we are in constant choice. The power of choice is so grand and realizing that you have a choice moment to moment about how you interpret things and how you wanna be in the world, uh, I think that's such a valuable thing to know about ourselves.
Mm-hmm. How has your opinion on being a powerful woman, um, changed or been enhanced as you've been raising your daughter?
Oh man. Um, that was a major like game changer for me, having my daughter. Uh, she is the thing that I love the most in this world. And, um, you know, having her and learning. About myself as I taught her the ways of the world.
Mm-hmm. Um, absolutely reinforced me and my growth and, you know, allowed me to take challenges and steps forward because if I'm asking her to do certain things, you know that saying kids will listen more to what you do than what you say. Yeah. Um, so being that strength and that space of, uh, educating her in that way has been tremendous.
And we hit some major road bumps on the way when she was 16. You know, she got into some really bad drugs and that was a major pivotal point in my life where I sort of really scared and was really coming from fear. Mm-hmm. In a very powerful way and. At one point in that journey, I sort of had to let go and let God, and I had to trust that everything I've taught her along the way is in her.
And the more I resist this, the bigger it's gonna get, you know? Mm-hmm. And I was completely wrapped up in it and losing sight of myself. And when I surrendered to what is and loved her unconditionally and started to take care of myself, boom, she shifted and has been rock solid ever since. And we see each other every Wednesday and have lunch together, and we have deep talks and you know, she's like one of my best friends right now.
And how cool. I'm so grateful for that growth and that relationship. It's been. Tremendous.
Well, and, and that reminds me of why it's so important that we, you know, have some systems in place in the world, not just, you know, here in the US to help catch people that go through those moments. Because, you know, you're an amazing mom, you're up to amazing things and you still, you know, had that as a, as a, a road bump, right?
Like it's totally, there's um, there's a misconception that people go through things because of who their parents are, and Yes, there is elements of that. Mm-hmm. And you can have the best parents in the world and still make bad choices. Like Yeah, there's, there, that's just the way it is. So, um, you know, I've, I've, I've met a couple of parents through.
Some of these different workshops who were there to be free of worrying about their kids every day because their kids had mm-hmm. Run away or had, um, issues with addiction and they were blaming themselves so much for what they could have done differently and mm-hmm. You know, to see them realize that they've done everything they can and love them as much as they can, and they now need to rely on the greater community and, you know, God in the universe to help them on this.
It was
mm-hmm.
It was so, so big to, to witness that moment of realization and to see them realize, okay. You know, like one woman was like, if I can't rescue my child, I'm gonna go rescue another one. Yeah. Yeah. And to see her pivot into like finding her purpose that way was. It was just really moving and powerful.
So I'm so thankful that, um, it's worked out with your daughter and she, you know, snapped outta that and is where she is today.
Yeah. Oh gosh. Me too. Like, no joke. And it's beautiful. 'cause like even when we have lunches and stuff, like, can I ask you a question about that time? And she was like, yeah, yeah. You know, and she's so open and authentic with me and honest about it.
And you know, we've had those deep conversations of like, what do you think got you there? Like, what do you think? How you do that? And you know, and just, we've just had such great, great deep conversations that have been growth for both of us, you know? Mm-hmm. So it's been really awesome
for women who are listening who either are.
Looking to find a development program like ELC or looking to start their own company and looking, knowing that their passion is impacting other people in, in some great way. Mm-hmm. How would you recommend they start?
Uh, definitely. I mean, look, obviously I am open arms to anyone who wants to do this work.
And then we have people who fly in. We had a lady fly in, I think she was from Berlin. She came from Berlin to do the last ELC training course. Um, but I would definitely recommend taking a look at our website. It's a pretty simple standard landing page landing, but you can sign up for a discovery call there and it's leadership community com.
Um, or if you're looking for a network of women and the transformational tribe speaks to you, it's pretty simple too. Transformational tribe.com, um, and, you know, whatever it is, even if neither of those spark interest for you. Just start to take some work with yourself, even if it's as simple as picking up a book that, um, you know, can start to open up the way that you see things and, you know, start from that perspective.
It's so funny 'cause like I have these two girlfriends from high school and I had been trying to enroll them in my trainings forever. And we had lunch about three or four years ago and one of 'em was like, oh my gosh, I've just learned about how like, being responsible is this, like this key and I'm learning this and I'm learning that.
And I'm like, I've been trying to tell you this for like so many. And the thing that she told me that was so powerful was like, you know what? Uh, you get it when you get it, and I'm like, yep, you know what? You're right. And I'm so grateful you get it, you know? Mm-hmm. So awareness is a beautiful thing. And, um, if you can just start to dabble into it, there's so much out there.
Even just like videos you could watch and you can even watch Byron Katie do the work on YouTube if you just Googled it, but starting to expand your horizons and, you know, remove the blinders and, uh, dive into self-awareness is so helpful to get you on your path. And then there are lots of great organizations out there, my mine included, that are there to support that growth when you're ready for it.
And then what, what's your, you know, what's the main message you want women to know? If you could tell them one thing, what would it be?
I could tell women one thing. It would be. To remember how powerful we are to remember that our power doesn't come from the volume of our voice, the intensity of our actions or any of that.
That our power really comes from our heart and our compassion and our capacity to unconditionally love. And if we can harness that, we can change the world.
And that is a statement why I know that Marelle connected us.
Great.
Yeah. No, it's totally, it's been such an honor to, um, you know, be introduced to amazing women from other women that I, I already admire and find amazing.
And after I talked to Marne and invited her to be on the podcast and we had her and Dave here, um, I believe they're episode seven. And Right. Um, it was so awesome. And she's like, before we, she even said yes to being a guest. She's like, you have to talk to Victoria. And I'm like, okay. She's like, you have to, you guys are on the same path.
You're up to the same things. Like, I can only imagine the two of you together. Like, what's gonna happen? So I'm mm-hmm. I'm so honored that you are Yes. To being on the Powerful Use podcast. Um, I'm lit up about this conversation. I'm so excited about what you're doing. Um, I can't wait to, um, promote and share and have everything on the website, and it will be by the time this is released, to just get, um, get more people from our community to know who you are and your, um, tribes and businesses and ELC and just knowing that there are so many places available for them to go to find the community that they're hungry for.
And there's been so many women who've reached out to me just in the past couple of months since I've been public about. Powerful ladies coming to exist in this format who are just hungry to meet other hungry women who are looking for, to use your words like this tribe where they can go to, to keep living their biggest life.
And so thank you so much for providing that for people and being a stand for women who are up to that. Thank you
so much. And Kara, I'm so over the top excited. We got to connect and I'm completely, and you know, energized by the conversation and I love what you're up to. And more than that, I mean, we need women like you in the world who are the glue, you know, who are the connectors too?
Because we're, as an individual, you're only so powerful, right? Yes. But as a collective group, then wow, you can absolutely make so much more difference. So I honor you for being that glue and that person who is connecting women of like mind to really make a bigger difference in this world. And I get your commitment and I'm inspired by it.
So thank you.
My pleasure. My pleasure.
I am so happy that Marelle connected Victoria and I, it is always an honor to be connected to amazing, powerful women like her. To know that there are women out there who on a day-to-day basis are committed to making sure that everyone else lives their best life is so inspiring. There are so many ways that you can connect and support her with all the amazing things that she has going on.
We definitely recommend you check out some courses and workshops at Elevated Leadership Community, which you can find on Facebook, and also@elevatedleadershipcommunity.com. And you should 100% see if you can still book a place for the next Transformational Tribe experience. You can sign up@transformationaltribe.com.
And of course, you can follow Victoria on Instagram at Vicki Mo 17, the same handle as at Twitter. You can find her on LinkedIn, Victoria Verone, and you can even email her victoria verone@gmail.com. If you'd like to support the work that we're doing here at Powerful Ladies, there's a couple of ways you can do that.
Subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcast, Stitcher, Google Play, or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Leave a review on any of these platforms. Share the show with all the powerful ladies and gentlemen in your life. Join our Patreon account. Check out the website, the powerful ladies.com to hear more inspiring stories.
Get practical tools to be your most powerful. Get 15% off your first order in The Powerful Ladies Shop, or donate to the Powerful Ladies one Day of Giving campaign. And of course, follow us on Instagram at Powerful Ladies for show notes and to get the links to the books, podcasts, and people we talk about.
Go to the powerful ladies.com. I'd like to thank our producer, composer, and audio engineer Jordan Duffy. She's one of the first female audio engineers in the podcasting world, if not the first. And she also happens to be the best. We're very lucky to have her. She's a powerful lady in her own right, in addition to taking over the podcasting world.
She's a singer songwriter working on our next album, and she's one of my sisters. So it's amazing to be creating this with her and I'm so thankful that she finds time in her crazy busy schedule to make this happen. It's a testament to her belief in what we're creating through Powerful Ladies, and I'm honored that she shares my vision.
Thank you all so much for listening. We'll be back next week with a brand new episode. I can't wait for you to hear it. Until then, I hope you're taking on being powerful in your life. Go be awesome and up to something you love.
Hello, beautiful listeners. Do you know the number one thing that you can do to keep this podcast going and to help us get more kudos out in the world and to have more people know about us? Go right now to your favorite place to listen to podcasts, apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify. Tune in, I mean, holy Smoke.
There's a million right now, but I need you to subscribe and I need you to rate us and I need you to leave a comment about how much you love it. Even if you just wanna talk about how much you love me or hashtag engineer Jordan, that works too. But it'll mean so much to us to share how you feel about it and to love us by subscribing, liking, and rating.
Thanks guys.
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Created and hosted by Kara Duffy
Audio Engineering & Editing by Jordan Duffy
Production by Amanda Kass
Graphic design by Anna Olinova
Music by Joakim Karud
