Episode 109: How to Thrive in Relationships | Mariya Spektor | Creator of To Date or Not Podcast
Mariya Spektor is a social media manager, spin instructor, and creator of the To Date or Not podcast, where she explores the big questions about love, dating, and modern relationships. Born in Russia and raised in California, Mariya brings curiosity, humor, and honesty to conversations about what makes relationships work and what holds them back. She shares how personal experiences led her to launch her podcast, the lessons she has learned about communication and self-awareness, and why being powerful starts with being brave enough to be honest with yourself and those you love. From breaking patterns to setting boundaries, Mariya’s approach is both practical and inspiring for anyone navigating dating, long-term partnerships, or self-discovery.
“We all experience dating and love, but there’s no education for it.”
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Podcast Host - To Date or Not PodcastSaddleback CollegeRussia
Stacy Solodkin Powerful Ladies Podcast EpisodeStart, Stop, Change Method
I’m Fine by Whitney Cummings - book
This is Marketing by Seth Godin - book
Becoming by Michelle Obama - book
Shoe Dog by Phil Knight - book
Where the Crawdads Sing - book
Educated - book
Bike to the Beat StudioTustin -
Follow along using the Transcript
Chapters
00:00 Meet Mariya Spektor
03:15 From Russia to California: Her Early Story
06:30 Building a Career in Social Media and Fitness
09:40 Why She Started the To Date or Not Podcast
14:20 Lessons Learned from Talking About Relationships Publicly
17:50 The Importance of Communication and Asking Questions
21:10 Breaking Patterns That Don’t Serve You
24:45 How to Be Honest with Yourself and Others
28:20 Setting Boundaries in Dating and Relationships
31:50 Advice for Navigating Modern Dating Apps
35:15 The Role of Self-Discovery in Healthy Relationships
39:00 Favorite Books and Influences
42:15 Why Personal Growth Is Ongoing
48:00 How to Connect with Mariya Spektor
I was in a very long-term relationship where I was, because I was getting shut down so many times in, in his inability to to converse, I started shutting down and that was an okay, right? Mm-hmm. Because then you put yourself in like a four year position and you're looking at yourself saying, we're not talking about anything substantial.
That's Maria Specter and this is The Powerful Ladies Podcast.
Hey guys, I'm your host, Kara Duffy, and I'm, this episode I had the pleasure of sitting down with Maria Specter. She is a social media manager, a spin instructor and creator of the podcast. To date or not. We dive into how to level up our modern relationships, why communication is the key, and how being powerful starts with being brave enough to be honest with yourself and those you love.
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Well, welcome to the Powerful Ladies Podcast.
Oh my gosh, it is such a pleasure. Thank you for having me.
Of course. Well, I would love to just jump in and let you introduce yourself and tell people what you're up to.
Sure. So, um, I'm sure a lot of people dunno, but my name's Maria Specter, so I know there's like a little y in there that gets difficult for people.
I've gotten literally Maria, Mariah, Maria, I just answered to all this point, but, um. I'm a social media manager by trade, so by day and then off hours. I am actually a podcast host, so I run a dating podcast. Mm-hmm. And I'm also a spin instructor, so it's kind of been exciting to really, truly marry kind of all my passions and all my worlds kind of into one.
And I've been able to strategically take kind of the social media side onto the podcast side onto like. Inside. So it's been quite the journey, I will tell you that. Um, but it's very fun being like a woman of all trades. I mean, I'm sure as you know too, you know, you've kind of like got a bajillion things going on.
So super inspiring in that sense.
And it's fun that way. I mean, it, it would be heartbreaking if somebody told me I couldn't do one of the.
Yep. 100%. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So yeah, I'm super lucky. I think that in, in my sphere, when it comes to social, I've really been able to hone in on a lot of, you know, the strategy side of things.
Been able to work with a ton of brands. So I've been in, mm-hmm. Um, I've been in, like, the health and fitness space. I've been in like the B2B B2C space. So in medical, worked with doctors, um, worked in cannabis. Yeah. So worked in packaging and currently work in tech. And then it's like. Being on like kind of the health spectrum where you're leading a room mm-hmm.
Of like 43 to 50 people really being on a microphone and then really taking it on to kind of like the backend intimate conversations of a microphone. So just kind of all over that place in, you know, those little passions that I've got. Mm-hmm.
Yeah. And, and I got connected to you through, um, Hannah, who was on your podcast.
Um, so what was it that made you wanna start a podcast about relationships and how is your podcast taking a different approach than maybe others might be?
Yeah, and that's an interesting question, Kara. Um, I think at the end of the day, right, you look at a market and you think, okay, well this is extremely saturated, so mm-hmm.
Your imposter syndrome kind of sets in and you say, well, how is my voice any different from the next person's, right? Because you and I can run a similar podcast, but what's gonna differentiate you from my, and, and every single person kind of walks through that path. Um, so I think for me, where all this stemmed is I really kind of struggled and battled where.
I wanted to be in life. And I think that for a long time I've really had this crazy interest in, in psychology. Right. And so remembering back to when I was at Saddleback College, 'cause I'm a, I'm from Southern California, so I did kind of the two year JC then got my bachelor's mm-hmm. Um, in marketing. But I said.
Really just like loves, you know, sex therapy. I like, I love the psychology side of things, you know, and I kind of dropped it because I was like, I'm not gonna be good at it. I don't know. So I'm just gonna hop into marketing, right? Years past, years past. And you know, I'm continually in long-term relationships.
Mind you, like I'm a monogamous girl. Like, just like love it. But I never got a chance to really date. Mm-hmm. And so in, what was interesting is in like 2020 I, well, I'm sorry. In 2019, I'd ended a four year relationship that I was in. And after that I was going through my career. I had the spin thing, you know, I was happening so many assets in my life, but I kind of looked at things holistically and I said, there's this one piece missing and I wanna really find myself.
And what's interesting is I decided to do that a little bit in dating. And a big reason for that is when you're dating and when you're essentially meeting new people, you're going on that one-on-one kinda mission. You start talking about yourself a lot. Right. And I'm not a person who enjoys talking about myself.
I would much rather get to know somebody else because mm-hmm. I've never been able to learn something by speaking first. Right. And so, right. And it's kind of crazy. So you start, it, it, the way that my mind worked was okay, so then I, you know, I, I kind of started getting on dating apps and I'm like, well, you know, what else am I doing?
I'm already a social media manager. I'm already on these apps. I'm already kind of like knee deep mm-hmm. In, in content. So let's just try it out. Um, I really almost wanted to be a Guinea pig for a lot of my friends too. Right. And to saying like. Hey, I'm gonna start a and b testing certain like lines and phrases.
I'm gonna a and b test, where we go, what we do, how I interact with men. And it just almost became a full year long experiment. And I realized that I was in integrating that a lot in kind of the conversations that I had with people because I think one of the things that we all talk about, or I'm sorry that we all.
Experience is dating and love, but there's no education around it. Right? Yeah. And trust me, I'm not coming from like a psychological background or anything that, like, this is just a personal interest, but we kind of find our, our way and our insights via like social media or maybe a therapist that we have, but mm-hmm.
You know, I think we're really afraid to talk about the deep and integral parts of our relationships and love and what that feels like with our, you know, with our friends, with our girlfriends, with our guy friends, with our family. And I know for me a lot of kind of like emotional communication has been really taboo.
So I'm an immigrant, immigrated here from Russia at the age of seven, and what I've always been taught is control and hide your emotions. So you shouldn't be talking essentially about, you know, these kind of like. Intricate parts of yourself. It's nobody's business. It's nothing that you wanna like discuss.
Mm-hmm. And so that's the only thing I knew. But I took a step back, right? In 2019 when I got outta this long-term relationship. And I said, but why? Yeah. Like, if we're all going through something like this and it's affecting our emotional, mental, physical wellbeing, why aren't we talking about it? And so again, you know, the, the discussions of.
Mental health and how your family trauma affects you and your relationships and dating apps and, um, like, uh, polygamy and open relationships. All these things were just interesting topics in my life. Mm-hmm. Like I had continually talked about the fluidity scale. I continually had very diverse groups of friends, so I had an easy time discussing like all centers of like, love and relationships.
And so I thought like. And I've always, again, wanted to start a podcast that was always kinda like in the back of my mind because it was, you know, it's like the hot thing that people are doing, right? You, you know, right? Yeah. Everybody's kind of jumping on the trend, but it's the best form of media right now.
You look at clubhouse, you look at podcasts, everything is audio. So I was like, why? Like, why am I doing this? The, the biggest difference here is me putting a mic in front of my friend and I having the exact same conversation. Yep. So I went through and decided that, you know, after I had kind of like dated i'd, I'd really taken that experience I had and I had sat on many people kind of recording podcasts.
I decided to just. Jump in, you know, and there's no right time to think like, today's gonna be my day. Or like, you know what, first, like, I'm launching a podcast. No. Like I hopped into it. I just said, you know what, I'm gonna do it. Ran into Canva, did all my branding, already had the social media media background.
So I knew how to like, engage my friends. I knew what to do. I knew like how to, you know, your post frequency optimization like that was already there. Um. And from then on I kind of like launched the pod and it's been such an incredible experience because the amount of people that I have had reach, I, and mind you, my whole idea is not to grow like my podcast page.
It's just a supplement to my podcast itself. Mm-hmm. But the amount of outreach I've had for, from friends and from, you know, married family members, whatever that may be, are coming to me and saying, I paused in the middle of your podcast, looked at my husband and said. Hey, I think that, you know, say like, finance is a discussion that we should have, or How do you feel about X, Y, and Z?
Or, did you wanna ever try like an open relationship? And I've even had a partner too, that had said, like that come to me and said like, wait, but what do you, what do you think about X, Y, and Z? And it all stemmed from these conversations that I was having within the podcast. Yeah. So. It's been such a rewarding experience to think that at the end of the day that you have a chance to make an impact in somebody's life.
And even if that's one person, that's where your purpose is, right? Mm-hmm. And it, for me, it may not necessarily be this podcast, right, but I think that there's something to take away from that. It goes back to that kind of psychology aspect. It's why I am at that spin studio and why I'm navigating a room full of 43 people.
It's why I started the podcast. It's why I was interested in it. In psych's, why go marketing creates, why do social mm-hmm. All these integral pieces that are kind of put together, but they supplement everything that you do. Um, so, and that's kind of the over archer of like where that podcast essentially stemmed from.
Yeah. No, it's so cool because I think there's so many things that are critical to, to. Thriving as an adult human that we don't talk about, you know? Yeah. Finances you mentioned is a huge area. Like no one is taught how to make a budget or how to save, or how to actually, you know, use money the right way.
Um, no one's taught how to create something from nothing, which is what I spend a lot of my time teaching people how to do. And we definitely aren't taught about relationships in a way that actually allows us to be empowered in them. Yeah, so that we can actually make it be something that is what we want.
Like I feel like there's so many people who. You're just taught as a, as a child, like you need to find a partner. Usually it's a husband or a wife, and then you do that and then everything's fine and you're like, that's the farthest thing from the reality of what that story is. So what do we do the rest of the time and how do we know if that person's right for us versus someone we picked?
'cause they were next to us.
100%. And I think it, it all kind of stems from our family's generation too, right? Like mm-hmm. They were taught, so you look at dating kind of back in like the baby boom, baby boomer area, and one, you're not growing up with cell phones, so you don't have the accessibility. And then two, you look for a partner within your, within your small network.
So within your five, five, uh, mile. Parameter. Yeah. So you are not necessarily exposed to your quote unquote soulmate who could be on the east coast, right? Mm-hmm. So, which is kind of like the beauty of dating apps. And so I started getting my gears turning and I was like, why are we settling for these people?
Why are people staying in these like long-term relationships? Like what are we taught as like young women and even young men to believe that is acceptable and is normal in relationships? Mm-hmm. And it's just been such an interesting journey to like recognize too that to have a fulfilled. Partnership, and this is something that I work on all the time, is, is you have to open those areas of communication.
Like what is it that you're passionate about? What is it that like sparks you, right? Like mm-hmm. What is it that you really think about? So, and I'll take this back to for example, like saying something like open relationships or finances. I have a girlfriend that I admire. A, a an amazing, powerful, innovative woman, and she has really taught me that speaking about finances is not taboo.
Mm-hmm. So when you're in a partnership, she's, she's all about initially engaging the conversation of, Hey, how do you feel about like a joint bank account? Right? Like, how do you feel about saving? Like how do you allocate within your 401k or your Roth? Like, do you invest in stocks? What percentage of your paycheck are you putting away?
How are we gonna allocate, say like rent and groceries or X, Y, and z? Have you thought about having a family? How are we gonna provide in that way? And I think us, especially as women, um, and I know for me generationally, generationally is we were taught to one, never talk about a salary. Two, never, never ask, you know, like your male counterpart, um, what they believe is right and, and how they're using, utilizing their money.
And then three, just always essentially keep to yourself. And again, this is, this is not for everybody. I know. This is just how I was raised. Um, like the male is the breadwinner, you know? Um, they're the ones who should be running the finances and, and that's how it always was in my household. And it's so interesting to finally kind of have these discussions and say like, you know what, like, let's break the mold.
Let's do something different here, and how can we meet in the middle as like a, a, like a power couple, right? And how can we, how can we essentially build this like partnership together? How can we move forward? How can we open the door to the communications? And again, that could be down to something that you are, um, like interested in sexually, right?
Or something like that. Like, I've had friends that have called me that are saying, Hey, I don't feel fulfilled and X, Y, and z and my partnership, like, how do I talk about that? Mm-hmm. And to think that people aren't talking about this. Yeah. Like I, when my partner and I started dating. Him and I for, for three hours, I think second or third date in, we talked about what we sexually preferred, what we wanted to get out of like the intimate part of our relationship and mm-hmm.
He looked at me after like that three hours and he goes, Maria, like. I wanna have more conversations like this. Like this was like groundbreaking for us and Kara, like our physical part of our relationship just ultimately changed, right? Yeah. It just 180 because we got to know each other on a different level.
And that doesn't go into just the physical aspect of things like this goes into like the emotional, the mental emotion. Yeah. Breaks everything, right? Whether or not you're having a, a mental crisis, like you are just feeling mentally fatigued. Um, anxiety, depression. Like, God forbid, like an eating disorder or something like that.
Mm-hmm. Like, I think that those are important aspects to talk about with your partner, and that's like what I want people to understand with this, right, is that having, those conversations are okay and they are difficult, but there's a way to navigate that. Um, and we can do, do that easily, right?
Well, yeah.
And you, you realize that, um, so much of, of Western, maybe not even western, but modern dating is convincing someone to like you versus telling someone who you are. Yes. And it seems so backwards. Um, and, and if we compare it to other situations where we do that, like getting a job, you know, in the interview process you're trying to convince someone to, to give you the job offer.
But you should just as much be making sure that you actually want to be there. Like nothing's worse than getting a job you don't like or hiring someone you that doesn't fit at the end of the day. So why are we not being rigorous when we're dating? Like, uh uh, it baffles me because it just leads to so many, you know, just leads to expectations and missed opportunities and all this stuff that we have to then deal with later versus dealing with it upfront.
Absolutely. What do you think are ways that people can be bolder in, in having those conversations or asking those questions, and when, based on what you've talked about in the podcast or experienced yourself, when's the best time to do it? Is it, is it early days? Is it, is there a certain period where it's like, okay.
Now, I'm not like a weirdo if, but start having these bigger conversations with you.
Yeah, no, I totally get that. And, and I wanna make it clear too, again, like I'm not coming from this, from like a psychological standpoint. Like, again, it comes in interest, but I'm not, I'm a marketing major. I'm not like a psych major, although, mm-hmm.
On the horizon, baby. But, but I think that one, it comes to, um, awareness. So you have to be aware that maybe this is a skill that you're lacking, right. Maybe that, mm-hmm. You aren't able or you're scared to talk to your partner, and that's gonna be step one, right? It's almost like a rehab program where you're saying like, okay, like this is a skill that I just need to fix.
Um, next thing is I'm such like a word vomiter. So for me, sometimes even if I feel like I can't articulate something, I am just gonna get it out there, get it on the floor, and then we'll kind of piece the puzzles together, right? And I think that. Like in business or entrepreneurship, there's never a right time.
Um, and communication is difficult, but it is a skill and I think it's a muscle that you can continue to flex. You can continue to learn, but you have to be wanting to change and you have to be wanting to learn. And so I think that like. Again, it's, it's recognizing that there is, that, that problem or that lack of communication and then it's stepping up and saying like, Hey, maybe we make it a point weekly or like, Hey, I have this on my mind, like let's talk about it.
Or just looking at somebody and saying, Hey, I'm just gonna speak and I just want you to listen. Um, so again, it's just really approaching it with, with confidence and the ability to say like, this just needs to happen. And you just being the person to kind of take that lead because. I was in a very long-term relationship where I was, because I was getting shut down so many times in, in his inability to to converse, I started shutting down and that wasn't okay.
Right. Because then you put yourself in like a four year position and you're looking at yourself saying, we're not talking about anything substantial. And this and that advice can even go down to to, to work. Right? Because yeah, you think. You're having a conversation with your boss. You're working there for two years, but you're dealing with mental struggles that they don't know about.
Mm-hmm. Well, how is that person supposed to know that you're dealing with somebody and you're under-producing at work? If you don't communicate with them, right? So again, it's just recognizing that there's a problem with whoever you're dealing with and just coming to the table, no matter how you say it.
And maybe you're not screaming and crying, but by taking a step back and saying, Hey, like we just need to talk about this, or I'm gonna tell you something. Or even admitting to say, this is the first time I'm having this conversation, so I kind of just need you to work with me here. And just putting it out on the table.
And the sooner that you do it, the better it's gonna be. Um mm-hmm. Again, never gonna be a, never gonna be a perfect time, but there is gonna be a a time that you need to do it.
Looking for the be, the better time to do it just delays it. Mm-hmm. Like, it's almost like one of those bandaid things where like you just, the sooner you talk about it, the less awkward it becomes.
The, the, the smaller it is, the less significant it is. We all know that when something's festering or in the back of our mind, it gets bigger and bigger and scarier. And scarier. So how do we say things when they happen versus waiting? Months, years, a decade to, to bring it up.
Yeah.
Um, but I think also in, in what you're saying, I hear a belief that talking about it is always gonna be better than not talking about it.
Because I think a lot of people get nervous about that. Right? Like they're afraid to bring it up 'cause they're afraid that saying it is going to, is gonna change something in a negative way, which. I'm not, I, I believe the opposite and I think you probably do too. Um, so where does that underlying commitment or belief do you think comes from that?
Talking about it is better than not.
That's, that's a great question. Um, so I think for me, right, it comes down to when you're having like those anxious kind of feelings, like you have to take a step back and a step back and realize, like, are you willing to kind of like live with this kind of like negativity that's essentially impacting your every day?
Mm-hmm. Um, or are you willing, like you said. To rip that bandaid off and maybe make things a little bit lighter, make things a little bit easier just by having the conversation. But in that moment, you have to recognize that there is a possibility that the outcome can be negative, but you have to prepare.
Mm-hmm. So having that conversation while yes, ripping that bandaid off. Just looking at yourself and saying like, I would much rather deal with the negative consequences instead of living in this kind of turmoil, this anxiety driving emotion over and over again. 'cause I look at myself and you know, like being in a long-term relationship where every single day I was like rocking back and forth at the steering wheel and being like, I need to end this.
Like I need to do something and I couldn't do it. Mm-hmm. Like, I don't want people to feel like that. Mm-hmm. I mean, I've had, you know, I've had so many, so many girlfriends and even male counterparts that have said like. Look like. I just feel like this is such a great person and I'm so afraid to just end things.
Well, don't you think that you're doing somebody a disservice by putting them into a position where they don't know that this is what you're dealing with, and then you're essentially pulling back. You're not communicating anymore, you're physically not wanting to be around them. Like it's just gonna create more further along issues than just again, having that conversation.
Yeah, and, and any negative things to me would be short term too, right? Like
mm-hmm.
How it's, if someone reacts negatively to something that you need to share or talk about, that's always a sign to me that, okay, there's somebody else who wants to have that conversation or wants to talk about that. So yeah, there's, we we're so accustomed to like, holding onto things sometimes, and it's like, especially in dating, it's like, why?
It's almost like in entrepreneurship they say like, fail fast test and fail fast. And it's like, why don't, again, another thing we could easily implement into dating. Um, like why not, uh, make people work for it. We had, um. A woman on the, on the podcast, Stacy Kin, who has met the live her life and she's now married, she's an artist, but she worked with the relationship coach to figure out like why she wasn't getting to this place.
And the coach gave her the advice of date. A lot of people and the one who do not like, do not make any like, um, monogamous commitments to anyone, don't take anything to next level. She's like, make them. Whoever rises up, they'll show you. Yeah. And I loved that, that idea, because I think especially as powerful women, we're always like, we're making it, we're choosing, we're going.
And it's like, no, like just, we don't have to, they'll show up. Like you'll know who is the right person to, to take whatever is next with.
And I've always said too, you know, every relationship should be a supplement to your life. And whether that be a love partnership, um, whether that be like a friendship, whether that be a coach, whether that be your therapist, they all, they've all gotta be a supplement because at the end of the day, like you don't have time to waste, right?
Mm-hmm. So why are you allocating your time to people and things that do not matter? And so, yeah. I love that kind of like advice that you brought up. 'cause it's, it's true, right? You're gonna just keep dating, you're gonna keep doing what you're doing and that right person is gonna step up, is gonna be there for you.
And at the end of the day, like if they're not good riddance, you know what I mean? Mm-hmm. You yourself, like, you yourself is all you need and. Focus on that career, focus on those hobbies, focus on all the things that you love. And again, they're gonna come in, they're gonna supplement you, they're gonna believe in you.
Yeah. And like they're gonna, there're gonna come times where you, yourself feel like you are just doing too much for you and you're not giving a little bit to that other person. And that's normal too. And I've had these conversations with my partner where I'm like, you know, I'm so ambitious and I'm so driven.
And part of me is afraid. Right? Part of me is afraid that you might think that that's too much or that I'm doing too much or it's gonna be a problem. Mm-hmm. Because you're gonna look at me and say, Hey Maria, like you need to make me a priority versus X, Y, and Z. Well, I am my own priority. So the right partner, you know, like mine looked at me and said like that.
I think that that's the sexiest part about you. The fact that you are driven in your life. And then I, you know, I kind of came in and I supplemented that, that that's all essentially you can ask for. And again, I think people are just scared that they're going to be alone and they're not gonna find the right kind of person that does add that kind of supplement as you will.
Mm-hmm. Uh. And so it's, and it's unfortunate too, right? And so that's kind of where I wanted to like, continue to talk about dating and wanted to like, have these open floor conversations. And mind you, these are all like experiences that, like my friends and I have had that, like therapists that have, you know, seen it all go down.
I've had conversations with their, um, their like therapy clients and stuff. And so it's just, it, yeah, again, it's been very, very eye-opening.
I'll have to connect you. One of my clients is a, um, a top marriage and family therapist. She's like the last resort therapist, so I'm sure she'd have really interesting things to talk to you about.
Um, no, but it's, it's like the biggest, if we really look at how our life is consumed, like. We always say who you spend your time with, right? The five people you spend your time with are the books you read will determine your next whatever. And so often we don't put who our partner is in that mix. Yeah. Um, and it can seem.
Intimidating to look at it that way, but I almost think that the preppy approach, like the very traditional East coast, Anglican, and I don't even think it's East coast. I think it's just more traditional conservative, uh, perspectives anyway. Like when picking a person, like have you ever seen a, a movie about.
A president or a future president, like being strategic about who can be the first lady and who can't be. Yeah. And knowing that's where you're going. There's something about choosing, um, for how your life works and what they do in arranged marriages, that it sounds so unromantic, but yet there's so much of life is not romantic.
So how do we balance the, the passion, romantic, the side of love, and the very practical, is this going to work, uh, space. I don't, I don't have an answer, but I'm always curious about how do we, how do we get that balance back?
That's interesting that you brought that up. So I just recorded an episode with, um.
One of my really close friends, she's Indian, and her parents were actually arranged. Mm-hmm. And so we went into like the full scope of things because I had those same questions. I was like, well, like I, I can't imagine like being with a partner, meeting them like on the phone and then on the phone having a 15 minute discussion and saying, okay, we're good.
Like, let's get married. And you get married at like your like moon and star sign date and time and whatnot. But. One of my girlfriends brought up a really good point and she had said The reason why Arranged marriage works is because it is focusing on like a business partnership, right? Mm-hmm. And you think about how do you partner with like people that you run your entrepreneurial business with, right?
And it's making sure that there is compatibility in areas that you lack, and they're not looking at this kind of, um, woo woo. Uh, like stars align butterflies thing lasting for the next 30 years. Like, that's not it, because we all know that that goes away, right? So mm-hmm. How are you gonna continually make those steps and work towards kind of like that, uh, profitability, like within your relationship?
So I think it's really just necessarily like doing the work and recognizing that those things fade because I think a lot of people live in the clouds when it does come to relationships. And most of the time that shit is ugly, like, I mean mm-hmm. Even like. The last two months I've been going through and, and I just ran upset about this too, but I started dealing with a lot of anxiety, depression, which being 30 I've never had to deal with in my entire life.
Now again, culturally speaking about all those things was, oh, no. My mom was like, oh, our therapy was vodka and a, some cigarettes. And I'm like, mom, like, that's not, I was like, I need to be like a professional. She's like, you're fine. And I'm like, no, I'm not fine. As I'm like sitting there like crying on the phone, Umhmm.
So it's kind of interesting, but if you have a partner with you as you're dealing with these like crazy emotions up and downs. I mean, he was like watching like me cry up and down or being like, I can't do this. Or like rocking back and forth. I mean, this is something that I've never dealt with. Mm-hmm.
And having somebody just to deal with the, not deal with the ugly, but be there for you through the ugly. But also be there for you when you're at your best, 10 out of 10 self. Like that's the kind of partnership that you wanna deal with. Whereas, mm-hmm. I have had partners, and I know a lot of girlfriends that have had partners where they're going through something and they look at you and they say, you're fine.
Or I don't understand. Like your life is perfect. What do you mean? Yeah, like it's not about that there's gonna be a chemical imbalance that you're necessarily dealing with and that person needs to support their, support you and be there for you. And I think like one of the things that I found is like.
If you are dealing with something messy or you feel like you're a rock bottom and your partner is reacting in that kind of way, they are just not necessarily the partner for you because again, like that's not gonna be your first time. It's not gonna be your last time. Mm-hmm. That you're dealing with something bad.
Now, imagine if you have kids. Imagine if you have a, a mortgage where. You like lose a job or you Yeah. Become handicapped or something happens, right? You build, you have to build a partnership with somebody and you have to understand those things are gonna happen. But if they assume that your 10 out of 10 is gonna be consistent for the next 30 years, like, boy are they wrong.
So again, right. Opening that door to communication.
Yeah. And maybe even the next 30 days. Yeah.
Right. I'm like, I don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow.
Yeah. Well, and and to me it's such a sign of maturity when you. And this happens even in leadership positions, right? If you're managing people, um, we, we look at people and we want them to be one thing because it's easy for us to manage when we realize that all humans are on this spectrum where one day they're a 10, one day they're gonna be a two, then a six, then maybe a zero, maybe a 10.
Again, like how do you see the actual person? And know that that person and all of their amazing qualities don't go away when they, they're having a one day. Mm-hmm. It's just how it, how it show how the world is impacting them that day. Like how can you see through it? Because. An immature person's gonna be scared when they see you, see you in different phases and not, and think it's not you, but clearly your partner who's there with you through those things, knows that there's the core of who you are and that's who they're in a relationship with.
Yeah. They're not in the relationship with the superstar. They're not in the relationship with the person crying in the corner. Yeah. Like it's this core person and. It's hard to find people who get, who can see you in that full spectrum of, of who you are. When you do it feels awesome. Mm-hmm. But it's really hard and that's why I think sometimes.
Um, our closest friends or our girlfriends, or our best friends can see that more because there isn't this pressure for us to be the 10 at any time with them. Like, they don't care if we're a 10. Yeah. In fact, sometimes if we're all tens it gets a little competitive, so Yeah, it's, it's, you know who, who understands that you can.
Be struggling and be on your own journey and be awesome at the same time.
Yeah, and I think a lot of it comes too from like emotional intelligence, um, which mm-hmm. A, a lot of people lack and, and I think that that's really societal can be cultural. There's like a lot of re like aspects that come into that.
But what I absolutely love about the fact that like therapy is no longer taboo, right? I think that there's a large conversation. Is that men and women both are now seeking a therapist and not when they're at their breaking point, but they're starting early on. They're saying, what? Maybe there is gonna be like a little shift, or maybe I just need to start talking to somebody about X, Y, Z, like.
Now they're starting to open that door of communication. And I think that that's allowing us to become better communicators, better, um, just better mentally and emotionally. And then that means that we are better for our partners, right. And like better in a work environment, better in like all aspects of life.
Mm-hmm. Like, you know, me better as like a coach and the on the physical side of things. Um mm-hmm. Because who's gonna trust me and believe me, where, you know, like I'm a basket case or I don't preach what I say. You know, and, and I feel like then you start looking like an imposs, like an actual imposter, right?
You're not just dealing with some imposter syndrome. It's like no, you're actually not following through exactly what you're preaching. Um, yeah. Yeah. So I, I don't know. I think what's, what I've learned too is having partners that say, you know, how can I be there for you? Or What do you need from me? Mm-hmm.
Sometimes they don't have to give you the. Answer, but you have to tell them how to communicate with you. Um, because every single person is gonna be different the way that mm-hmm. You know, I love, and my love language is gonna be completely different from yours. Right. Just 'cause I love physical touch. You might just love words of affirmation.
Like they, it's just gonna vary. Um mm-hmm. Sometimes you just need to tell them that. Like, Hey, I just need to cry it out. Or like, Hey, I just need you to talk me through this, whatever that may be. So again, it just comes back to really having that open dialogue and that I think can easily save every relationship that you are in.
Yes. Yes. All of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We just did a whole, um, in our Powerful Ladies Thrive, uh, group, we just did a whole month on love language and your, what's your business Love language. Because I don't, I don't believe that people are different at work or at home, or like, we're really the same person.
So there's a whole opportunity to be using our love language, both our giving and our receiving and how we set up our, our career, but also, especially as an entrepreneur. So often I'll have clients come to me and say, I love my business. It's super successful, it's working, but I hate my job. 'cause they've put themselves in whatever was left role versus their ideal role.
And there's so much more power in getting to just love on people all day and get paid for it. And then getting to receive the love you want and get paid for it. So we've been looking at how we can shift that. Uh, so it's been really interesting to see what people say, but it also to me opens up a whole area of.
So going back to your social media side of how inauthentic so many people are Yeah. In that space and how when you are vulnerable and, and talk about why you created your business or what really matters to you, what you're dealing with, it, it always opens up a shift in, in who's following you listening to.
So the business level language thing can really be applied in a lot of ways.
Yeah. I actually love that you brought that up too. And I, I wish that more like coaches and I, I work right now for like a CA, a corporate office, but I, I sometimes mm-hmm. Wish that that was taken into consideration. Something that I took out of, um, like a recent feedback meeting that I had is that we started doing these start, stop, continue method, which I thought was really, really rad.
And. I think I wanna take this back to even like the relationship side of things, right? Like, so not only in your business and your feedback, but like what can you start, stop, and continue doing in your relationships or even in your friendships, I think like again, right? Mm-hmm. Like having that open, honest dialogue and it's not always easy, but like really just kind of opening that door and saying like, you know what, I think that there's like psychologically, a little bit more to this, right?
Coming down to those five languages, how do you use them? Like within your, like with your colleagues or when you start an online business or whoever you're dealing with on the day-to-day? Mm-hmm. Uh, like extremely powerful notion.
Yeah. And for people who, dunno, do you wanna explain the start, stop, continue method?
Yeah. So it basically, all it does is it breaks down and I, and I credit my boss for this, um, she was awesome and she, she kind of like brought this into the network, but, so it's what you ideally. So as, I guess like as, uh, so I was giving her feedback in the start, stop, continue. And then she was giving me the same feedback.
So pretty much it was what I wanted her to start doing, um, what I wanted her to stop doing. And then, um, what I wanted her to continue doing, like, so some examples, some examples for like, continue. So like, obviously not being a micromanager, always giving me kind of real time feedback and then maybe stop doing, um.
Or like, I'm sorry, like start doing would be like more like positive reinforcement and positive feedback and then mm-hmm. I forget what I told her on like the stop side, but like one of mine was like, um, was like, Hey, like stop making like X, Y, and Z error. 'cause it was like I would be working so fast and then I'd realize I'm making grammar mistakes and not going back and rechecking.
Right. So that was like mm-hmm. One of the feedback. But you know, again, you can take this with. With whoever you talk to. Mm-hmm. Uh, but I thought that that was like extremely, extremely impactful and we had it written down and it was something that you can kind of like reference all the time. Mm-hmm. Um, but I thi I wish, again, I think more corporations should definitely kind of utilize that method.
'cause I've never been at a company that was, that really kind of pushed that forward and I thought that it was just a cool way to open the door between like my boss and I.
It makes me think of, um, a communication method that I was taught ages ago of commitment, what's so in the request. Mm-hmm. And you can use it again anywhere.
So you always say like, what are you committed to for yourself, for them, for the bigger group. Okay. What's so like, what's working or not working? Usually it's a what's not working and the what's so takes all the emotions out of it. But because you've already said what you're committed to, there's like a frame of reference and then the request is what's next.
So literally I use this when my boyfriend and we're fighting about like. The dishes not being done or something like I'm committed to myself having an awesome life. This relationship being great and the house being clean. Yeah. What's not, so the dishes aren't done. So request can you do 'em. Thank you.
I love, I absolutely love that.
And I've actually never heard of like that method being used, so I'm gonna have to like do a little bit more research once, once we get off of this 'cause Yeah, that's, yeah.
Well it's just super effective and so often we get stuck sharing, um, something that's not working because we're afraid to make somebody.
Think we're don't want them anymore.
Yeah. And
so it takes all the make wrong out of the conversation because you, you're the thing you want changed. You can really specify into like, it's just not working. So like, here's my request to change it. Yeah, it's, it's shocking how often I use it.
That's, no, I'm definitely gonna have to like, implement some of that in just like my day to day.
Um, 'cause I feel like for me, like if I'm not changing, I'm not growing. So like I wanna continue this. Like, I feel like I've really spent the last like 10 years just like. Working on myself and like trying to be a better person, being a stronger communicator, um, and just like in all aspects of life, right?
Just being better. Mm-hmm. Um, so I think that that's like one of those things that I can definitely like, implement in, implement in like my communication patterns. So, and all those little things like help, you know, it's like, it's like people just like need to want that change and wanna be better. And all those like little pieces of tidbits of feedback and advice, they're always gonna help.
Well, I think it's a perfect segue as well to when you hear the words powerful and ladies separately and together, what do they mean to you? What do you hear? What comes up for you?
Yeah, and I like, love this question. And what's interesting is I, um, I don't think that, or I think that they're interchangeable.
And so when I think about powerful, right? I think that for a long time there's been a connotation of when you look at power, you think of like your male counterparts. And I think that that's becoming dissolved. So when I think of powerful, I just think of a necessarily a confident, adaptable, a um, driven, like individual, ambitious individual.
And a lot of time that goes into like ladies, right? And women, and. Even for women, right? That's, it's just like competent, ambitious, innovative, like all of those words that I think both stand with powerful and lady or power. And I love that the narrative is being rewritten these days to make that so, uh, because for a long time I think that like, and I've had women like this, I really didn't feel that way.
Or they felt that they were not empowered, um, in their like, you know, careers, in their like love lives, whatever that may be. I am so lucky that these days that I have these like again, like innovative and incredible women that are just so smart and so driven that push me to be a better person every single day.
So again, when I think of those words separate and together, I think of them and then they make up who I am. So because then we can become this like powerful group of incredible women and even men that together just like flourish and push each other to just do better and be better. You know, the amount of days every day that I get a phone call from.
You know, incredible women, men that are like, Hey, like give me something good. Or like, what did you work on today? What are you reading these days? Like those are conversations I wanna have. And those are the powerful people in my life. Again, both men and women that I just like, mm-hmm. Love to continue to house.
Yeah. Well, I love books. So what books are you reading now?
So right now I'm kind of like married between a few, um mm-hmm. So Whitney Cummings's book, I'm fine. Uh, just kinda like her, her journey. I don't know if you know her, but if anybody's seen her standup, she's hilarious. Um, I love, right now I'm also in between, um, Seth Godin, so this is marketing.
And then on Audible I've got Michelle, uh, Michelle Obama's becoming so, oh, it's so good. I can't, yeah, I can't commit to one thing, so I'm committing to both goals.
Yeah. I find myself going through a phase this year where like I have all these books in some form of start, which is not normally how I read, but again, between Audible or tangible books.
I keep getting distracted and wanting to start a new one, so I'm sure that means something about where I'm at right now, but, um, no, I, I get surprised when people say like, I don't read. I'm like, what do you, how do you learn? What are you doing?
Yeah, no, for sure. And I mean, I understand that it is a time commitment and I think that.
I'm a huge podcast junkie, as I'm sure that you are too. Yeah. So all the time I've got like, you know, any kind of like audio, something playing, either like I'm driving or, um, I'm sitting and reading, like before this I was listening to one of your podcasts, right? Like mm-hmm. Um, again, driving, listening to like, up first or getting my news in.
Yeah. Or throwing on the audible book or that, or making mm-hmm. Playlist for like the spin thing. Like there's always something that's happening when it comes to like the audible side of things, but, um. I, I understand where I think people kind of have a hard time sitting down and reading the book. But it is also, I think it just takes discipline.
So discipline and allocating 15 minutes. 'cause what I do is, is I get extremely tired at night and I think for me. Opening a book is tough. So then I think, okay, maybe if I come home in the middle of the day and I have like an hour time slot between getting and ready, taking a shower, being somewhere, I'm like, okay, maybe taking that 15 minutes.
Mm-hmm. Whatever, five, 10 pages. That's something, right? That's giving yourself like a little bit and then you feel smarter. There's something more to talk about. You learn something new. I think that there's so much that can be gathered from reading. Mm-hmm. Um, yeah. And I always get, people always make fun of me 'cause I'm not a fantasy nerd.
Like I can't read like a fiction book at all. Like if my life depended on it, like I will not. And it's crazy 'cause I'm in the creative field. So, you know, we're taught that when you're reading kind of like, uh, like a fiction book, you get taken away to a new world. You like get to like flex, that kind of creative muscle.
And for some reason it doesn't happen to me. I don't know why. I don't know if I'm just like overly exerting myself. Creatively day to day. So I'd much rather read something that's gonna be a little bit more tangible for me to take away. Um. I recently finished Shoe Dog by Phil Knight. Mm-hmm. And I was like, oh my God.
I was like, just reading about like his, or like just, uh, I guess like processing his like storytelling skills. Like makes me feel like a better storyteller. 'cause I'm like, oh, like the way that he's using his like verbs and adjectives. I was like, really love that. Um, or just like being inspired by like an entrepreneurial journey and to say like, Hey, he started.
With, you know, running X amount of shoes and now he's got, you know, he's been able to like launch and push Nike. Like, how cool is that? Um, so you like end up being just like mind blown in kind of like that business entrepreneurial style?
Yeah. The closest I can get into fiction are usually when they are set up like a memoir, they're still like a, a person's story.
Like I really enjoyed, um, where the Crda sing. And, uh, educated. It was, it was, it came out, I think last year, 2019. Um, okay. It's a great book though. And it's, um, a story of a, of a girl like her life journey, but it's not anything crazy. So it's really just like a human story. So that's a, that's the farthest I can step into the fiction space otherwise.
I'm too addicted to learning where I'm like, no. Like there's more out there. I don't know everything yet. Come on.
100%. Yeah, I'm like 100. Yeah, I, I'm right there with you too. And like sometimes too, you have to just be strategic with your time. Right. Especially for, I feel like you and I when we're like, okay, we've got like X amount of time, how do we maximize and optimize this like.
Let's dive into something that's gonna still continue to help me learn. 'cause I was like, I was like listening to you talk about how you're like, oh, on weekends, like sometimes I just wanna work 'cause I love what I'm doing, right? Yeah. And so like to step away from that and say like, you know what, like.
Okay, maybe I won't get into fiction, but this is actually gonna help me and this little piece that I'm reading is gonna help me. Mm-hmm. Uh, you know, finalize that project or really put towards that project so at least you don't feel like you're wasting your time. 'cause that's at least my pet pee to waste my time.
So, yes, I agree.
Yeah. Um, so with everything you have going on, how do you, you know, what are your techniques that you can get it all done and still take care of yourself? Like you have a job, you have. Been you, so you've, you launched a podcast, you still have a life and everything else you're doing, how do you make it all work?
Great question. Um, so I've really been struggling with this a lot. Um, and a lot of it is just taking a step back and recognizing like. What am I allocating my time towards and how is this benefiting my mental and emotional and physical health? I think those are just big questions I have to continually ask myself, because I'm a type of person that's like extremely overproductive.
Like, if I'm not productive, I'm not doing it right and I don't know how to stop. Mm-hmm. And so sometimes I just have to really check myself. Um, so I guess it's really like being an adult and utilizing my calendar. So that's been a big one. Um, mm-hmm. And recognizing that it's okay to, to say no to things, and then also if I'm feeling overwhelmed, to recognize that I'm not weak for maybe, for example, this is a big one, right?
For the podcast I was launching weekly, but I overexpanded myself because I'm not only having people that were recording with me for two plus hours, but then I'm sitting here editing for hours, like I'm doing this all on my own. Mm-hmm. Creating the graphics. I still have my nine to five. I'm still at the studio.
I teach eight classes a week. So it's, you know, where was I even finding the time? Because I stopped making time from like all the other like little self-care things that I needed. Like, I mean, it was to the point where girl, I was getting like acne, like cystic acne all over my face. My stress, like I had gained weight, like my stress was just so high that I.
Like have to reevaluate and be like, look like this is your body literally telling you to stop and you need to listen. Mm-hmm. And so I think that that was a big wake up call for me to say like, again, write all of those things where it's. Say no, that's gonna be okay. You're not weak for admitting that you may need help.
Yeah. And three, like use your calendar and really kind of like stack your time. And even if you make blocks in your calendar to say, Hey, Monday night from like six to nine, I'm just gonna sit on my butt and do nothing. Right? That's okay. Mm-hmm. That's a form of self-care or you know, whatever. Read that book or have a glass of wine in the shower, like whatever it is that you need to do to like decompress.
Um. I think that like for me, those are like little things have been like huge, huge movers and like they just changed the way that I really like stacked and organized my time.
Yeah. And I appreciate that you shared an example of having wine in the shower, which I only thought people like me did when I was like, how do I have a glass of wine and get ready to go out?
So, yeah. Mm-hmm.
I call it, um, balance and efficiency.
Yes. Yes. Yes. And I like that we can have our own, um, our own productivity, like Attic Circle as well. I know who to call, but I'm like, okay, I need, I need to get off the ledge of overproducing.
Mm-hmm. Oh, but 100% me. I will like, I'm like the queen of that so happily to talk anybody off the ledge.
Yeah's hard. I mean, it's, and it's not, um. It's, it's a blessing because obviously it's gotten me to launch businesses and do what I do and like it allows so much self-motivation. Um, but it is that fine line like you mentioned of when is it, when is it empowering me or versus when is it, um, overpowering me?
Yeah.
And it, it is hard to gauge that. I mean. So often it's great when we create our own projects or own businesses 'cause we're the boss so we can just fire ourselves or, you know, change the rules. Um, but we have to still have that, that check-in, like, oh wait. How many days in row have I worked? Have I noticed?
Okay. Hold on. Mm-hmm.
Something my mom said that resonated with me, and it was so, so, so simple because in the middle of like this crisis I was having, I called her up and I was like, mom, like I, I don't know what to do. And I like, mm-hmm. I've gotten closer to my parents as the years have gone on. You know, you like, you're in your thirties now, you're kind of like, you can relate to them a little bit more.
And my mom looked at me and she goes, your health will not always be there, but your job will. And so it kind of, that's when it made me take a step back and recognize like. Like I need to start like making certain things a priority over others and recognizing that like even though I feel like I'm Superwoman, like 99% of the times, like I am also only human.
And this goes for like every single person out there because I think we continually want to do and do and do and do. But we don't know how to be, and I think a lot of that comes from like maybe the social media side of me, right? Where I'm so conditioned to always be on, my notifications are like going off.
I'm like, okay, work doesn't matter if it's 6:00 AM it's 10:00 PM It's Friday night. It's Tuesday morning. Like. I'm always on. And so that's, again, that conditioning has kind of like, really kind of pushed me off the edge of saying, or pushed me off the edge of being like, okay, I, I feel like I have to always be on, and that's not necessarily the case.
Like something that I took away from Hannah is she, I believe on, on Sundays does like a digital detox, so she'll completely turn off her social medias all on Sunday. And for social media managers, that's probably like your biggest nightmare because you are always like, mm-hmm. Something's gonna happen, something's gonna go off.
Like, I'm going to fail, like I'm gonna miss X, Y, and Z. Like, the world will live without a single social media post. Like your life will continue, your boss will understand. But like sometimes our mental health is like the most important thing that we can value. And so again, just making those little like strides, managing your like screen time, like putting little, like social media holds, all those little things, they're gonna help you just, you know, move forward.
And again, when you're mentally and emotionally strong. Your business or your hobbies, they're gonna be that much stronger.
Mm-hmm. And relationships too. Yep. Oh, and
relationships too. Yeah, exactly. Um.
We ask everybody where they put themselves in the powerful lady scale, zero being average, everyday human, and 10 being like the most powerful lady in the universe.
Um, where do you think you would put yourself on that scale on average, and where would you put yourself on that scale today?
Sure. So great question and I absolutely love this 'cause I think that. A lot of times that we want to be like that, 10 outta 10, and we not, we aren't always, and I think for me mm-hmm.
Like to, if I put myself like today or like this weekend or the last couple days, I'd give myself a 10. Outta 10. I feel like I've just been hitting those goals. I've really been making strides. I'm, I'm proud of myself in a lot of different ways. Yeah. Um, on average, just with the equality of everything that's happening, probably like at around eight, I think that that gives you that.
Allows you to say, Hey, I'm worthy. Hey, I'm strong, but also I have room for improvement. Mm-hmm. Um, however, you know, these, like last couple months, I probably put myself at a five. I was dealing with a lot of things emotionally, mentally, and I told myself like, that's okay. You know, that's okay for me to give myself a little bit of grace to say like.
You're not at your best right now, but this is temporary and this is not forever, so. Mm-hmm. Probably that kind of roundabouts your question.
Yeah, no, it's perfect. And it's also why zero is an average everyday human, right? Yeah. Because I'm already assuming that powerful ladies are. Are automatically higher than the average everyday human, no matter where we put ourselves.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. 100%. Um, and again, like it's okay to admit that your scale is gonna fluctuate, right? Again, you're not at your best every single day. And we talk about this when it came to relationships. Like your partner's gonna have to understand, some days you're gonna hit the zero. Sometimes you're at like a negative 10.
Sometimes you're at the five, sometimes you're eight, sometimes you're 10 outta 10, maybe even a 20, right? Like you're, so it doesn't matter. But you know you're gonna find people around you that are gonna support you every step of the way.
Mm-hmm. So for people who love what you have to share and talk about, how can they listen to your podcast, find you, support you, and just connect with you in general?
I love it. So yeah, my podcast is called To Date or not. Um, it is on Spotify, it's on Apple. Um, I stream from Simple Cast, so if you don't have any of those you can just hop on in there. Um, you can find me on Insta. My personal Instagram is at marie ya. So it's M-A-R-I-Y-E-A-H and then, um, you'll find links to my date or not, or podcast page.
I mean it's just at to date or not podcast. Honestly, I'm super accessible. Like I'm always, I teach a bike to the Beat Studio, so if anybody's in the Orange County area, like come through, I'm out in Tustin, so it's always a good time. So I'm kind of all over the place, but primarily social media is my game.
Perfect. Well, it has been such a pleasure to meet you today and talk about all these things that matter to both of us, um, and to really talk about the relationship piece. 'cause we don't talk about that a lot in this podcast and it's such a huge part of everyone's life. And, um, it's just been really great to, to share your perspective and it's so supportive and encouraging and I really can't wait to hear what people got from today and what they're taking on, um, by listening to this podcast.
So thank you so much.
Oh, thank you. And honestly, if anybody finds me and reaches out, um, I would love to know any topics people are interested in. Um, anything they loved, anything they didn't like. 'cause I think that everybody's, everybody's got a story and it's always important. Um, so I just love feedback, but I appreciate it.
Kara, this is awesome.
Thank you for listening to today's episode. All the links to connect with Maria. Our in our show notes@thepowerfulladies.com slash podcast. There you can also leave comments and ask questions about this episode. Want more powerful ladies, come join us on Instagram at Powerful Ladies, where you can also find some free downloads to start being powerful today.
Subscribe to this podcast and help us connect with more listeners by leaving a five star rating and a review. If you're looking to connect directly with me, visit kara duffy.com. I'd like to thank our podcast producer, composer, and audio engineer Jordan Duffy. Without her, none of this would be possible.
You can follow her on Instagram at Jordan K. Duffy. We'll be back next week with a brand new episode. Until then, I hope you're being powerful in your life. Go be awesome and up to something you love.
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Created and hosted by Kara Duffy
Audio Engineering & Editing by Jordan Duffy
Production by Amanda Kass
Graphic design by Anna Olinova
Music by Joakim Karud
