Episode 289: Navigating Venture Capital as a Women | Shaheen Sheik-Sadhal | Esse Law & VC Funding
Shaheen Sheik-Sadhal is a powerhouse attorney, entrepreneur, and founder of Esse Law, a firm dedicated to helping women protect what they’ve built. She and Kara talk about designing a business that supports your life, not the other way around, and choosing love over hustle.
In this episode, she and Kara talk about the real work of entrepreneurship, navigating venture capital as a woman, rewriting success outside the hustle, and learning how to ask for what you want. From her music career to building a mission-driven law firm, Shaheen shares what it means to lead with integrity, protect your business, and stay connected to purpose.
This episode explores women in business, legal strategy for entrepreneurs, and the future of inclusive investing.
“If you have someone who wants to teach you. Be a yes. Be super grateful. It’s a gift from the universe. ”
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Follow along using the Transcript
Chapters:
(00:00:03) - Introduction to Shaheen Sheik-Sadhal
(00:00:21) - Shaheen's Journey to Laguna Beach
(00:00:51) - Connecting Through Shared Experiences
(00:02:21) - Shaheen's Professional Background
(00:04:27) - The Impact of the Pandemic on Family
(00:08:31) - Empowering Female Entrepreneurs
(00:10:39) - Navigating Funding Challenges
(00:18:22) - The Transition from Music to Law
(00:26:54) - Building a Supportive Community
(00:37:48) - The Importance of Making the Ask
(00:51:55) - Shaheen's Vision for the Future
Dream clients are sophisticated entrepreneurs. That doesn't mean you know all the answers, but you're committed to this ride and you're ready and willing to have an advisor and use all of the knowledge that I've gained.
That's Shaheen Sheik-Sadhal, I'm Kara Duffy, and this is the Powerful Ladies Podcast.
Welcome to the Powerful Ladies Podcast. Thank you so much for having me. I just feel so spoiled that one, you're in my life too. We get to hang out. And three, you said yes to being on this podcast.
It's like so mutual Kara. Like i, anytime I introduced it, I'm like, you all have to know this woman. There's like, we need more of you in the world and I always, I'm happy to amp you up because yeah, I'm your pump up girl, like all the time.
Well, same like it. And I love that we didn't even meet each other. Someone, a mutual person was like, you guys need to go to lunch. And we just trusted them and said, okay, and did it.
Think we're yes women. Don't you?
Yes. Get very upset when somebody says no. When I, when I pitch something, but cause I'm okay with people saying, no, thank you. I'm also okay with people saying. No, but how about we go this day or this day? Or what about this instead? When someone's just like a, nah, I'm like, oh, it deflates me. I'm like a little balloon that's just completely toast at that point.
Yeah, I think you and I are both yes. And I think that's maybe what really drew our, you know, drew each other to ourselves, to each other and drew ourselves to each other. Let's try that again. And. Yeah. I just love meeting you that first time and connecting with you and so much so that when you're like, Hey, let's hang out after I'm like, just come home, come home, like hang with the family, chat with my teens. Like, yeah.
Yeah.
Kindred spirits.
Yes. Before we go any further, I want to make sure the rest of the world knows who you are, as because you're so fabulous. What is your name? Where are you in the world? And what are you up to?
My name is Shaheen Sheik-Sadhal. I get to live in Laguna Beach, which is pretty remarkable. That's its own story. And I do a lot in the world. I like to say I am a mother, lawyer, entrepreneur, writer, wife, daughter, not always that same order. Sometimes throw an activist and PTA volunteer in there.
Women's business champion, I might add.
Women's business champion, aspiring investor. Yeah. All the things. Yeah. All the things.
Well, you said getting to Laguna beach is a story. How did you end up in this magical land?
Goosebumps already just you asking me that. We, I didn't even know this thing existed and I grew up in Orange County, but I'm the daughter of an immigrant kid, you know, so we lived inland. We never went to the beach, you know, we studied and went to school and hung out with other immigrant families.
We were taking my father in law or surprising him for his, I think it was his 60th. Yeah. His 60th birthday. It was at Mozambique and we were driving in from North Orange County and we were driving because of traffic. We ended up on PCH going South and we came across, we just came up on that curve or crystal cove.
Yeah. Giant cliff. I was like, what is this place? To which my husband says, what are you talking about? This is Laguna Beach. And I was like, what? Didn't even know this thing existed. Anyways, I, it just, it struck me. I think not only is natural beauty, but there is something very spiritually magical about this place.
There's bits of it that remind me of like that Sedona energy. Anyway, so we, we go to dinner and then years pass and I get pregnant and we come back for my baby moon, right? Cause this was sort of like our dream location. We were never going to be able to afford it. We were broke as a joke, you know? And then we went to look at houses because why not dream? And then and then years passed and we were, we were No, and then I was, yeah, then I had the baby and then we moved to Orange County from L. A. And then my father in law passed and my husband was really down, obviously. And he lost his dad at, he was a young age when he lost his dad.
And so he was in his early thirties. So, and I was, yeah, yeah, mid thirties, I guess. And I was about to hit 40. And so I said, well, that money that we had set aside for a really slamming 40th birthday party. Why don't we just do something totally different? Why don't we put it into renting a cottage out there?
And seeing what it looked like, what it looks like to live here. By that point, we had two kids and I think they were like three and one at that point. And we landed here and He sat on the deck and he kind of checked out, you know, just, he was situationally depressed is what they call it, right? Yeah.
Mm hmm.
And he kind of checked out and I was just sort of holding for it. And then he's sitting on the balcony. It was just tiny little balcony. And I put the kids to sleep and I come out and he was like looking at the stars and he's like, I don't know what we have to do, but we got to figure out how to move here.
You know, me, I said, I'm a yes girl. So I was like, okay, let me see how to, let me, and I just started making some phone calls and then we put our house for sale and it went for more than it should have. And then we tried to buy the house that we currently live in and it sold for less than it should have. And kind of things started to line up and we sunk every last penny we had to get into this town. And I can only credit my late father in law for helping us. It was about, I think less than a year since then, since then, you know, when he had passed that this all happened and what I thought was going to take two years to make this move, to like scrape together the money and figure out how to get here. Took a total of nine months. It was like another child.
I'm getting full body chills. So he says yes. He's like, yes, I did that. Thank you for the credit.
I, I do. I mean, there's none of it would have made sense. You know what I mean? Like logically our house should never have sold for that much, all the things.
And, and we've been here ever since. And we just, every day we wake up and feel super lucky, you know, and very grateful.
And you finally got it remodeled. The way you wanted it to. Yes.
So we had a 1963. It's what we could afford. Okay. We've later found out that one of the driveways was being held up by the fireplace chimney.
Oh, so just to give some kind of just to give you some context. The one thing that we loved about it was that it had this really large deck that during the renovation started to slide down the hill towards our neighbor. So it really was just this, you know, I'm not sure. Maybe, maybe like 10 people in the 60s decided to build a house out here.
You know what I mean? I'm not sure that there were any engineers involved in this thing. Oh my goodness. I'm sure there were, but I, I sometimes chuckle. I'm like, well, maybe it was just a bunch of teachers and accountants that decided to put this thing together on their, on their weekends, you know? And then yes, so we decided, okay, we're going to, we're going to bite the bullet and we're going to renovate this thing, basically tear it down to the ground because it needed that.
And then the world shut down. It was Friday the 13th of March when the school shut down. And then the following week, the governor said, everyone stay home. And we were supposed to, like, break ground. So, thankfully, construction was one of the essential work, worker things, you know, that he put into, into place and construction happened.
It still took 22 months to get it done. We were living at that point. The four of us, because I thought it was going to be really cute, Kara. I was like, Hey, we're going to go down closer to the water. We'll get something tiny that we can afford. It doesn't matter. You guys are going to be at school all day and he's going to be at his office and I'll just rent an office, but we'll just come home to sleep and eat.
That was my plan. And then the four of us ended up having to work and school from this tiny, tiny place where nobody could hide. And you know what it taught me?
Had to hide in the bathroom.
We had like a bathroom. It was like one. And like, we call the other bathroom, like a teleporter. It was like so tiny. Just think like beach nutties. Oh yeah. It was basically a tiny house. It was a tiny house. I actually thought, you know, you don't really need that much stuff or that much space. And you, you're still great and how much form and function can impact relationship.
Yeah.
Like how much closer did we feel as a family?
Cause you had to deal with each other 24 seven.
Yeah. You can't hide things under the rug.
No, there's no, I'm going to dog in a 75 pound lab. Yeah, there's, there's no hiding. And I think that experience just, I don't want to say it brought us closer, but it made me realize, oh, this is, this is a functioning family in all of its dysfunction too.
Right. But like, We can do this. And yeah,
I mean, even when I got had the pleasure of going to hang out with you guys after the event at your house to see how relaxed your children were having adults around and adult conversations and not hiding and not trying to like go jump on their tablet or phone or whatever it was.
And was really impressed at them and you guys as a family and your husband, like there was just a, Oh, look, this is a normal functioning family that has their act together. Like, wow, like this is who needs a reality show, not these other families.
Oh, that's so kind of you. That's really, really kind. I think I did not, I did not grow up that way.
I mean, we didn't have to do not the tablets thing or whatnot. But I grew up so differently than my children. We grew up in a large immigrant community. Everybody was sort of co raising children, which was beautiful in its own way. You know what I mean? My kids don't have that gift, but just different generation, different time.
But make it a point for us to, and my husband's aligned on this. It's like, we're a unit. And when, and, and what I love too is like, nobody looked sideways when you walked in the door, I was like, Hey everyone, this is Kara. They're like, okay. Yeah. Great. Does she want food? Here. I think that's beautiful.
That's how it should be. At least, I mean, obviously it's how I think it should be. That's what I, what I wanted. It's a value of ours, you know.
Yeah. And I, you know, I, so many people talk about the divisiveness of the U. S. And I really am so excited that I am feeling a shift away from that right now, which feels nice.
But so often we think that all these different immigrant families from around the world that have made up the U. S. and of course, you know, Indigenous communities as well, we act like they're different. They're not. Every, every household will, every grandmother will shove food in your face, will demand you do things, will demand you're hugging everyone, saying goodbye, saying hello.
Did you take it? Like it's the same everywhere. And the fact that we think it's different, I'm like, that's, that's so low level. Like who is still thinking whatever house you walk into, it's going to be so different that you can't relate on a human to human level.
We're the same. Everyone has that one auntie. That one uncle, you know, it's why actually you and Maggie kind of commented us on your last, on that podcast that I was listening to, one of your episodes. Where you talked about coach waltz, it's like everybody's dad, like everybody relates to him because he behaves like everybody's father. Yes.
Because everybody has that dad that's like changing his workbook. And you know, I mean, I'm watching my husband turn into this person, like we are going on a vacation and he's like, We need to be out the door by, you know, four 30 in the morning and you're like, but, but the flight's not till eight. Why are we, well, we want to miss traffic.
We want to make sure we get a parking spot, all the things it's universal, you know.
If he starts washing your trash cans, call me.
Oh yeah, no, it is universal. And thanks for saying that. I am great. I tell you, I wanted to be a mom since I was seven years old. And so to me, that's been the biggest blessing in my life.
Big, most interesting challenge to like intellectually interesting. And I, and I'm saying that as like a lawyer, like there's a lot of like intellectual curiosity I have, but like raising human beings is so intellectually fascinating and emotionally gratifying. So I'm glad they're not crazy, you know, they're not mean and awful turning into nice kind people. Yeah.
I, well, it's always a reflection, right? It's like children and dogs are just like their parents and owners.
Oh, okay.
You mentioned that, you know, you're a lawyer.
Yeah.
Would eight year old, you have thought that she would be a lawyer? Like, how did you.
Yeah. Yeah. It was either going to be a singer or a lawyer. Ended up doing both. My eight year old self was, but if you'd asked her, she would have said, I would like to be a singer and a lawyer. And truly what happened was my parents took me to see Gandhi when it came out. And I was so moved at that age and he's a lawyer. He was a lawyer. And so my child version of like processing just said, Oh, is that what lawyers do? Okay, cool. I want to do that. Like, I want to go like help people and save the world. My family thought it was going to be a good fit cause I was like, I had a, you know, kind of a big mouth and I questioned everything, but why? But why?
This is why we're also friends, questioners.
Yes, but why? Why does it have to be that way? I think I was also very justice oriented as a kid. I remember I went to college and I came home for a weekend.
I'm like, no, I'm not eating. I'm going to hunger strike for Tibet. And my mom was like, no, that's not a thing. I got to feed you. You know, like, I think like it didn't matter to me that nobody else was hunger striking with me.
There was no media watching you. Yeah.
No. It's just kind of how I was built.
So that's really why I became a lawyer was to help amplify voices that weren't getting heard and to try to fight the good fight, whatever that was. And then I also wanted to be a singer because I had that love and I actually had a talent for it, but I was again, the kid of immigrant parents and our job was like, do really well in school, go to college, go to grad school, get married, have babies, buy a house in some version of that order.
When I graduated law school, I took the bar and then I became a professional musician. I didn't practice law right away. My parents were pissed, especially my mom, especially my mom. Think for her to see A strong young woman from her perspective. Just throw it away.
Yeah.
Throw that access and all the doors that I had opened away. She was crushed for me. And the reality of it is, was I didn't know it at that time, but I did close a lot of doors, you know I did, by deciding to go be an artist, I did close doors to large law firms that had previously been open to me, whatever, that a different path had certainly closed off, and I think that's what she was afraid of, and it did happen, now, was there, was it bad that it happened?
No, but that is true, and I think the naivete or the innocence of a A 20 some going, I'm just going to go sing for a while and then maybe I'll go back to being a lawyer is what gave me a whole other experience and a record deal in India. Like all these things that I never thought would have happened, happened.
I want to hear more about this. You get a record deal in India, and then
No, I was toiling away in L. A. Singing at open mic nights, and playing gigs, sometimes full crowd, sometimes it'd be one person in the audience. Sometimes my parents would come and lean, like, crossed up against the wall because they were in a place that Served alcohol, you know, my mom was like in my life I have never been around in a bar except now because of you How dare you? And then I had a friend who was an entrepreneur Who I guess I should also say I was helping to run an arts festival in la for south the south asian diaspora And it was a pretty big deal. It was four days and it was a lot of work A lot of organizing a lot of people and volunteers and whatnot And he was watching me do that and he said, you know, if you ran your music career, like you run this festival with systems and processes and order and goals and metrics. You'd actually get success.
Cheers to that person. Yeah.
He's a very successful serial entrepreneur in a position. So he had like done a bunch of stuff already and just told, and I just kind of looked at him like, Like a, just a light bulb, you know, and I was like, okay. And I tried to just apply a lot of the things that I did for the festival towards my music. And suddenly things started to change. I hired a friend who was a budding PR and marketing person. She did that work for the festival. And I said, I will pay you whatever I can. And she was like, okay. And then she started pitching me. To all these news outlets focusing on our South Asian communities.
It's like an easy in, you know? Yep. And I got picked up because there's no, there were no Indian girls doing this at that time. There were maybe a handful of us, you know plenty of, I think more actors, not as many musicians. And then, and so the buzz just started to build. And then my cousins would be texting me like, Oh my God, did you see that you're on the internet?
And at that time to MTV had a separate station called MTV. They see and they see means of of our country. I think that's the loose translation. But it's meant to be like Indian, South Asian descent. So they had a separate channel. So they were looking for content. It was kind of like this confluence of factors.
Right. Right. Time. Right. Opportunity. You know, like I was ready, all the things. And so this buzz just kind of got kind of building momentum was building. And then this record label from India called and was like, and it, it's like a, it's their major label. And they said, yeah, we'd like to pick up your album.
So I already had done the album here in the States again, toiling away. And then we just built a little business out of it. Right. Right. Think I use that now as a lawyer all the time, that experience of, I didn't, I didn't sell widgets. I sold me and my music. But certainly it's translate, you know, translates for, for any entrepreneur who, because I remember so many times, Kara, like I would be, you know, so in the thick of something and could not get the distance to make a clear headed decision.
And I made a lot of mistakes because of it, I didn't have that objectivity. And also in a music, a musician's world, it's real easy not to have objective and people are just emotions are flying all the time. Right?
Because it's, it's you and people are telling their opinion about you and you're like, and they act like that matters so much in that industry and to some extent it does, right?
But there's a degree of which we have to remember, like these people are humans and no random person, your opinion about that doesn't actually matter. Thank you. You're welcome.
Yeah. And the power dynamics are so funky. They especially were so funky 20 years ago. I'm, I'm sure they still are. I was a young Brown girl in an industry that had no idea what to do with me.
So yeah. So it was so emotional and I made, I made mistakes. And I think that's something I can, that I offer to my tribe of entrepreneurs now and say, yeah, I, I, I really do feel what you're feeling. And that's why you have me so that I can kind of be your objective mirror and say, but really this might be the better course, you know yeah.
So I think part of why I'm telling you that is none of it was for, it wasn't a waste. Right. So to my mom's concern or worry that I closed all those doors and I concede I did. We never know how those things are going to come back and inform us later. And I certainly think about it as a parent.
Yeah.
I have so many things that I can offer my kids and say to them, because I did it, I can tell you. Right. Whereas when my parents would say something like, but you never tried anything else.
And if nothing else, you can tell eight year old you like we did it.
Yes. And I tell my kids this too, I always say like, you got to do something to the point where you feel like when you stop, you will not look back and regret it.
And I really feel like I, that's how I say I completed my music. Do I still create? Yes. But I, that, that piece of like trying to get it out in the world and chasing all these things. I, I did all the things that I wanted to do and experience. And when I was done, I was done and I was done because I wanted to become a mother. And I didn't necessarily want to take my kids on the road, which plenty of my friends were doing. It just wasn't how I wanted to do it. And so, yeah, I think, I think that experience of going for something, going through the whole thing and resolving it. Oh, I wish everybody could experience that.
I, there's, there's so many moments that I wish more people had access to.
And sometimes I think they have, and they haven't noticed that it was one of those moments, but to know what a 10 day feels like, to know what it feels like to chase something that you thought was impossible or ridiculous and. To see it happen and to trust yourself, like there's all these layers that allow us to build self confidence in a way that people are always asking, what can I do to be more self confident?
And I'm like, go scare the shit out of yourself. Most likely.
You have to jump off the cliff.
Mm hmm. Yeah. You know, and you're most. Musicians don't happen to have a law degree in their back pocket when they're like, Oh, what do I do now? Oh, use that really amazing degree. I have, when you were making that transition, were you excited about it?
Were you, I don't know if I want to be a lawyer, like, how did that feel to pivot X? I know you left to be a mom. And were you like, I'll just be a mom. Like that's, That's enough. That's exactly what I need.
No, I wish it was all that simple. So let's see. I got picked up by that label. I got dropped by that label. Right? So that's also part of the journey that we should be talking about. That was pretty devastating. And I then said, okay, screw it. I'm going to, I'm going to do another album. But I need money. And I happen to have this really cool waitressing gig called be a lawyer. So that paid really good, you know?
And so I worked as a, I begged, basically begged for a job from this alum from my law school. He gave me a very hard time, but he gave me a job. And I got paid a really good hourly rate to read and write and research. And I thought, okay, I'll be here for six months while I did, you know, while I pay for the album and then I'll be off again.
And the way I set it up was I would go into the firm at six in the morning. And I would be there until two in the afternoon. So I would get, you know, a solid eight hours. Then I would come home. I would have lunch from two to three, and then I would be in my home studio from three to seven. Read writing and recording.
And that was my routine for about a year at some point along the way at the firm a new partner shows up and I was really trying to stand at the radar. So I told him don't send me to court Don't actually turn me into a lawyer. Just like let me research and write for you like use me as like your you know, your right hand person kind of thing.
Eventually they gave me what, what was actually an office, but they use as a storage closet. And then they reconverted it back to an office, but there were still stacks of boxes everywhere. And I was like, fine again, fine. Cause low expectations of me being there permanently and all that stuff. Right. I did not want to, this was like dating.
You're like, I'm not really ready for commitment. You know what I mean? And then a partner walks in, he's a new partner and he walks in and he goes, I'm John. I'm the new partner. Who are you? And I introduced myself and I say, but, but actually I'm a musician, see, I'm only here just to like research and write because I'm really working on my, I mean, all the things come out, you know?
And I'm like, so I'm not really a lawyer. I just, and he, he looked at me and he said, and I will never forget this. He was, that's a waste. I'm going to turn you into a really good lawyer and walked out of my office. And then the next day came back into my office with. Oh, back in the day when people had paper, you know, like, and, and, and envelopes and folders.
He comes into me to my office with this like file folder and he says, she's a musician. It's a copyright case. We're doing a pro bono. I'm giving it to you and I'll help you. And he became a mentor. And I was at least smart enough to know that if you have somebody who is willing to teach you just get super grateful.
Mhm.
And say yes and trust that the universe is bringing you a gift right now. And and I just became his lawyer, like his associate. And I stayed there for what was supposed to be six months was three years. And the album was done, I released it, it had done its thing, and now I was, I was like, I'm really a lawyer.
And now I'm like, not just a lawyer, I'm a litigator and I'm fighting and I hate it. So I went back to his office after three years and I sat down and there were tears right behind my eyelashes and I was like, I gotta go. Don't know what I'm going to do next, but this is not, this is not my life. like a good mentor after he got over his shock.
He, I think he first said, no, no, you're going to be great at this. And I was like, no, I'll be good. I'll never be great. Cause I don't love it like you do. And I got to go find something. I love to be great at it. And then like a good mentor, he said, okay, how can I help you? I wish again, I wish everyone could have that experience to have a teacher in your life.
That is a real teacher, like teaches you and teaches you to the point where. They actually just wants what's best for you.
And they're moving out of their own way for you.
Yes. It doesn't necessarily mean that what's best for you is what's best for them. And to be able to reconcile that yeah, so I left, I traveled I did all kinds of other things.
Then a friend of mine who was an entrepreneur said, well, if you would just start your own firm, I would be your client. And I said, yes. Okay. Sounds good. And then I decided if I'm going to take time away from my, at that point, unborn children, I want to work with people that are doing really good things in the world.
So I started finding entrepreneurs that were giving back in some way. So for profit, not nonprofit for profit. And I used all my music hustling talent and just went around and shook a bunch of hands and told people who I was. and cut deals. And I'll tell you a deal I cut. There was a startup in Santa Monica, a female founder.
She wanted to do a launch party for her startup. They needed a musician. My friend, mutual friend calls and said, Hey, they need a musician to play at the gig. Would you do it? And of course we can't pay you, but we can give you exposure.
And I said, okay, that's fine. You don't have to pay me, but she asked, But I want her to go to coffee with me. And so we did I, I played the gig and then a couple of days later, she and I met for coffee and then she was just chatting with me and then she slides a term sheet over, she's like, there's an investor who wants to invest.
Can you help me? Yes. Yes, I can. You know, and I just, I have a couple of those serendipitous meetings in those beginning years of meeting the right entrepreneur. Another one was one Hawaii and he was like an existing client of mine right now and they've been with me for 13 years. My, my daughter goes, I've never actually met uncle Jake, but we still call him uncle Jake because they, mean, I think my oldest one was 11 months when, you know, they came on board.
And that's the same thing. I think I met him through a LinkedIn. Someone connected us through LinkedIn. We both went to Cal undergrad. So he, and he's a huge go bears kind of Cal fan. And he said, okay, fine. Let's meet for coffee. We chatted about social entrepreneurship. We chatted about building community.
We chatted about our thoughts on the world. And he said, My, you didn't know this, but this was your first interview in your past. And I want you to meet the rest of the team. So those kinds of things kind of happened and then kind of know you're on the right path. And it really aligned a lot of my values of like all the things, entrepreneurship, my love for justice, my, this really wicked cool tool.
I had called a law degree that I was finally getting to use. And yeah, I'm like an intellectually so interesting.
When did you realize that you wanted to pivot into supporting female entrepreneurs and honestly just any entrepreneur that's kind of left out of the club right now?
That was really, I'm, I'm sort of embarrassed to say it was only a few years ago. I think I was so focused on my social entrepreneur aspect of my, of my founders that I had forgotten to kind of take a step back and notice that, you know, who, who my founders typically were and who the investors typically were.
But then I had a couple of female founders who a few got a side letter, which is when an investor invests a side letter is like a A little letter that says, and here's the extra things we wanted, we want from you all before we invest. And there's usually a very standard side letter that you get and sort of ask for the same kinds of rights and privileges and whatever, and this one wasn't.
It was a five page manifesto on diversity, equity, inclusion, and all of the values that that the investor wanted the founders and the company to commit to. And I was blown away. At that point, I had been in practice, I don't know, 14 or 15 years. I never seen anything like this. I'd seen it from my founder side, their values and their commitments to social justice.
I'd never seen it from an investor side. And I was like, it was like, Oh, it just opened up pathways for me in my brain. And I started, then I started like researching, like, Oh my, it was just, what's, what is this? What is this thing that's happening? And then I started looking in statistics. And only, you know, we deploy 330 billion of capital every year in venture capital, and only 2 percent of that goes to women and, and PitchBook just came out with with a report, and that's was 2. 4 before. I think it's 2. 1 now. So it's big finding actually in the last couple of years, which is miserable. And I thought, okay, Okay. I'm a part of this ecosystem. I am a brown woman, you know, senior level person in this ecosystem. I gotta do something. There's not that many of us doing it. And so I just started calling up, actually, somebody else was asking me recently, I literally would talk to anybody who would listen.
And tell them how upset I was about this and say, I really want to help. And how do I do that? And almost every single person, I think, because they could see how committed and passionate, and also everybody was just. disgusted by the statistic. Are you telling me 2 percent of women found? It's not like it's 30 percent or 45%.
It's 2 percent in a country that we claim and espouse to be super egalitarian and all the things, right? Yeah. So it's such an obscene statistic that I think everybody was just like, what? And so many people to this day, when I say it, we'll say, you know what? You should meet so and so. And It's sort of been this next phase of my life, forget just career, is to really do what I can to bring awareness to this issue reach my hand out and pull up as many people as I possibly can and make the right connections so that you are getting capital to women who certainly have every, should have every opportunity to succeed.
It's baffling to me. Like we already have our own limitations. That we put in our own way to make our dreams happen, or even just to believe that we can write them down, but then to see that it's not a mountain that you're up against, it is a complete tidal wave that is staring at you. Like, how do you even navigate it?
I've had quite a few clients who have tried to navigate that space and it's, It's the same thing they talk about when people are a musician or an actor. The rejection amount is so high. And then the expectations that have been put on these businesses that people think they're like, Oh, we're giving you a chance.
Like we're going to throw you the breadcrumbs, but Oh, by the way, we're going to grade you 10 times harder than we would have the people who we normally give the money to. And the pressure and the expectations like it's, it's embarrassing for our capitalistic society that we are clearly not evaluating businesses based on their business plans and their possibilities and their proven model.
And it's just based on. I, that feels good to me right now. It's enraging.
Yeah. The level of bias is you can't, it's like, there's so many layers. It seems so obvious. Then you start pulling things back in the glass. It just, it's confounding at the same time, right? You're like, yes, I can see what happens. I can see who goes to business school.
I can see how people network. And I can see. If, if you're, if you're a particular type of person who has access to a fund that is writing checks, but you're not the person that's going to the grocery store, you are not seeing the same problems. That the person who is going to the grocery store and saying right on a day to day level.
And I think when I see women founders, I see a lot of women solving the problems that we face as women, as working women, as stay at home moms, as working mothers, whatever. I mean, and most when pitched, because most of the pitching happens to men, they just don't understand it. They don't really. Connect with it.
And as you said, there's, there's sort of, yeah, you would hope that it's like data driven. Some of it has got an intuition and a lot of it is to, do I believe in the founder? Yes. Right. So many, so many investors will say, I write checks because I connect with or believe that the founder is going to be able to pivot and do all the things that I need them to do for this to be successful.
You can't connect with a person that you don't see yourself in. It's much harder. Let me, let me rephrase. It's much harder.
When there's the percentage of female founders who start as a side hustle, who still have a day job, who are doing it all themselves, like The conditioning that many women, at least up to now have been in is like, whatever you're going to do is it's, it's going to be small.
Why would we even talk about investing? Why would we even worry about that capital? Maybe I'll put some things on a credit card and you're like, this is not how male founders are thinking at all. They're like, my idea is amazing. You should give me all the money and then we'll figure it out later. And you're like, what?
And it, and it works. It works. They get all the money and they figured out later. Yeah. Usually by hiring some really amazing women to be on the team. Well, there's that.
I often think about this, you know, I'm, I'm in, I'm in the weeds here and, and I do try to take a step back. You know, my mom passed away five years ago and it really did give me an opportunity to do a deep dive and a review of like what is true?
What is real? What matters? and the power of women. My mom was a really strong woman. I don't think she would have identified herself that way first, but she was and raised a really strong daughter. And I often think about this for women founders. It's like, should we actually be playing the game that's on the field or should we just start a new game?
New game. 100%.
Right? Like, when I hear statistics from Boston Consulting Group, no, it was Harvard Business Review did it, did an article that said for every question, there's these prevention questions and promotion questions. I think we talked about this before, Kara, but like, Prevention question is how do you, you know, how do you prevent yourself from losing customers?
And a promotion question would be like, Oh, tell us about your customer growth strategy. Men get asked when in these pitch situations, men get asked these promotion questions and women founders get asked the prevention questions. And HBR says for every prevention question, she gets asked, it costs her 3. 85 It's like you can't even play the game that's on the field. It, it, it costs you to play the game on the field. And so my thought is one of two things. One is you just change the rules on the fly. Mm-Hmm. don't ask, don't answer the question. They asked to answer the question they should have asked you.
Right. That's one thing. And the other thing is just building a different playing field altogether. We just create a matriarchal economy. We create a system. Mm-Hmm. . of women check writers. And part of that means you have to come at it from both angles. Obviously, I've thought about this a lot, Kara. You have to think about it from like, how am I going to educate women founders?
How do we have that conversation, right? Of like, what is the best way to navigate and maneuver? So they're not, they're not Limiting themselves to think this is all on me and my credit cards and whatever I can scrape together. Right. And we also have to educate professional women who have disposable income and say, this is an asset class.
That you are not represented in. You don't necessarily have access to. And by the way, when it hits, it hits big and maybe throw some of that into your to your portfolio of investments. Right. There's sort of two conversations I'm constantly having and I'm happy to have them. Yeah.
And what's so interesting are the women I know who are investing the most in other companies, usually by giving a family and friends check to these other founders are women who have their own business too.
Like they're choosing to take it out of their growth strategy. And say, you know what? This 10, 20, 50 K it's usually an under a hundred K number. I'm not going to put that back into my own business. I'm going to give some to you because I I'm ahead of you. So here, and it's honestly where the powerful ladies concept came from in, in, in investing in each other, not necessarily financially, but the fact that there was this true circle of empowerment that we could be creating.
Where you allow the people who have risen to be supported, but then to give back and like, keep that momentum going, because So often there, it's interesting to me that when we look at history, powerful women have been kept isolated.
Tell me more about that.
Well, every story you think about, like the, like even in Disney movies, right?
Like the story of Mulan, what other powerful woman was she hanging out with? Right. What legacy was she creating? How is she paying that forward? How did she open doors for other women? She did for herself, but no one let her do it for anyone else. Amelia Earhart was like, Oh, there's that weirdo woman who wants to fly a plane.
Where was the community around it? Where it was, there was an echo or a ripple effect for it. And I do think that there, this there's why there's such a, there's so many groups popping up for women to get together and just be in the same space, let alone cause anything together. And that's the part that I think is so juicy and fun.
It's like, I want to get around a table and cause something. And who wants to be around that table? Because. Yes, there's so many things that we could do and talk about. Yes, we need to figure out our own mindset and habits. Like everything we need to be optimized is great, but we don't need to be a hundred percent to start causing things for the world and other people and other women.
What if we just showed up the way we were, what could we do? Incredible things for a hundred percent.
Put a bunch of women in. I mean, I've long been involved in the, in the PTA. This is the first year after eight years that I'm not involved. And I mean, you can't imagine it's generally moms who are running these things, right.
And volunteering. I mean, you sent a text message in the community to one of these moms. And the problem is handled in like, you know, in a matter of like an hour or two, it's just, it's handled. It's matched. The community comes together to just decide, okay, we've got it. We fix it. We can do that. Which that's just a little example, a little community example.
But I think that type of collaboration and write women's superpowers of like connection and collaborate. Mean, amazing things can only happen from that.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I mean, this is why the universe was like, okay, you guys know each other yet? Smash. What could happen? And like, where other people are doing it.
So it is like, okay, how do we all get in the same room? How do we get in the same WhatsApp, which we've been talking about powerful ladies and we're building out 2025 right now. I really feel like it's, it's the breakthrough year to be causing versus creating in a different way. And there's just so many possibilities.
And I love that you are taking all the parts that have made up of you so far. And being like, how can I just bring all of this to whomever needs it? It's the, I think it's the only way I know how to operate. And so I get so excited when I see someone else operating that way because it's like, no, we're just, we're bringing the whole yard sale of options.
We have the gift of hindsight a bit? I'll say it. I do at my age. Right. And so, I, I can look back and go, yeah, that's information I did not have in my 20s. And I can maybe spare a 20 some year old some grief, you know? Yeah. Maybe. Hopefully. Or maybe they have to go through it. I don't know. But maybe just plant a nugget and go, even if you have to go through it, it's going to be fine.
You're going to get there. You'll be on the inside. Yeah.
Yeah. And like age is just one of those dimensions because all of us have such different assortments of knowledge. And I mean, that's part of why working with the foster community, foster kids community, like has been so eye opening for me in the sense of things that we take for granted, knowing how to do write a check, cash a check, have a bank account.
It just reminded me that the things that it's like, Oh yeah, of course they know how to do this. People just don't, and it doesn't matter their background or their age or their income level. And sometimes it is those silly things sometimes that shift everything. And I'm hoping that women who are listening to this are going, Oh, like I can just ask for money.
Like, yeah, I don't need to self fund this. I don't ask to make the ask
if nothing else that I've learned my, I think my, the biggest thing I've learned this year is. Make the ask. Honestly, just make the ask. I mean, I'm still learning that lesson. Just ask. Yeah. You might get a no, but most times you're gonna get a yes or a, I'm not sure, but let me see if I can figure this out with you.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Make the ask ladies. Yeah.
So for entrepreneurs who would love to have you as their lawyer, first and foremost, what type of clients are you looking for? What are your dream clients?
Dream clients are sophisticated entrepreneurs, right? That doesn't mean you know all the answers, but you're committed to this ride. And you're ready and willing to have an advisor and, and use all of the knowledge that I've gained, right? I am definitely looking for more female founders. Female founders that are doing STEM and tech, like they need my help and I'm happy to help them. And those that are going for a venture back journey, like who are prepared to go on that journey.
Like I'm happy to walk through it with you. And like I said, like I've helped a lot of men get very wealthy over the years. You know I've watched them exit and have life changing money, like life changing. And I'm not saying they didn't make sacrifices and work hard. They did. But I would love to, to do that with a woman founder.
Yeah. And you can, you can jump on my website at www. slaw. com, which is E S S E L A W. com. And you can just, you can find me through Kara. She might be at my house or I might be here. And, and then I will always tell entrepreneurs, If I'm not the right fit for whatever reason, like I'm going to help you find the right fit.
Like my goal is to just move, help move this needle for women, you know and I'm going to make a, a plug too, for young, for younger women who are interested in learning more about investing the women founders network, which is an organization nonprofit that has an annual pitch competition.
It's coming up in October. They also have like a, a VC program, like a young VC program for young women. So high school girls, women, young women. And if that's something that interests you, it's based in UCLA or in Los Angeles area, they do have some like virtual opportunities, but I, I think those are things that we have to do is kind of give our girls, like my daughter said to me last night, she's like, you know, Maybe I'll go to business school.
And then she's, I don't know. I'm not, I don't really know. And I kind of paused her. I was like, let me talk you through what that looks like. She's only 14. She, she has lots of time to think about it, but I never want young girls to feel like that world is inaccessible to them.
I was thinking about this the other day, because someone asked me to like, write about it.
I was never going to go to business school. That was never the plan. It never happened. Like I got my MBA on accident. And part of it was because being so entrepreneurial minded, being someone who was always already creating things, I saw business school as suits and men and awful networking and like boring stuffy.
It was so anti doing anything cool. And I was like, if I'm going to have to wear a suit all day, I'll just go to law school. Cause at least that's more bad ass than having an MBA. Like that was my, I think so. And like, you get to at least argue in court, right? There's like, it's more, there was more panache behind a law degree than a business degree.
And it just was circumstances that I fell into qualifying to get my MBA for free. And I did it because it was like free and why not? But it took me getting into the classes and seeing what I could do with it and see, and I'm so lucky that I went to a very international and very entrepreneurial based program where we weren't talking about boardrooms.
We were talking about the restaurants that got launched or. Hey, people who went to the school created blue man group or they create like there were things that you could touch that were interesting and creative. And I think that so much of business gets a bad rap of what it is and what the people who have those degrees do and are capable of.
When it runs so much of our lives, like it's, it's like, if people don't know how to use Excel today, my brain hurts a little bit because I use it for everything. And I kind of feel like that's what people have to do there. Like it's such a fun place. To like bring a punk rock approach to and be like, I love that.
I know how to take this down, but we're going to do it a different way. Cool. So I, I love getting good to go back to school and not wear a suit and talk to people about business. And probably push it farther than I need to, to make sure people know, like, Oh, I'm not one of those boring business people, but thank you.
That's so cute. I mean, I, I think, gosh, if you can. I know that parents always like set aside money for college, but I also set aside money for them for business. They don't know that. They have a little nest egg for college and they have a little nest egg if they decide not to go to college and they want to venture to do something just in case. So I didn't want to lock them into something that I, that I know, just because I know it, you know, also please go to college.
It's fun and it's powerful. And I think, I think there's. There's so many strategies to make it really work for you. Yeah. It's like anything else. How are we optimizing it? A few quick rapid fire questions before I wrap up for the day.
Okay.
When you hear the words powerful and ladies, what do they mean to you? And does that definitions change when they're next to each other?
Yes. Powerful is, is very much standing in everything that you are. Honestly, ladies, anytime you, I hear, I hear this cause I've heard you ask this question and I was, thinking about it.
All I hear is ladies!
That's where, that's where it came from. That's the origin.
My children would be so mortified that I just did that. And so I think when I think of ladies, I think of that sort of joy and spirit the women in my life bring me so much joy and spirit. And I think putting those things together, powerful ladies, I think of. Authentic women enjoy in collaboration.
Unstoppable. That's what happens for me when I think of powerful ladies. And we've talked about this. We don't, we, I don't mean unstoppable, like big, giant, flashy things. It can be the ordinary daily things. The things that happen kind of almost unnoticed, you know that are, that are powerful changemakers.
You know, most of the work is unnoticed.
Totally, especially women's work.
Yes. We ask everyone where you put yourself on the powerful ladies scale. If 0 is average everyday human and 10 is the most powerful lady you can imagine, where would you rank yourself today and on an average day?
Today I'm film nine. I'm on your podcast. So that's pretty good. I think on an average day, I'm hovering around an eight.
And by the way, this dramatically changed me after I lost my mom. I think when I, it was such a pivotal loss for me that when you don't have the matriarch behind you and you're like, Oh, okay. I just have to be my own matriarch that she passed that strength onto me when she passed into the next, whatever the next is. And I'm like, You kind of become fierce, or at least I felt like, you know, I felt like I became much stronger. So yeah, so that is a blessing my mom gave to me with her, her last gift for sure.
That we, that you're acknowledging today. Fair enough, fair enough. Her last earthly gift, let's say that. And then this is a big, powerful community.
What do you need? What do you want? What's personal, frivolous. What do you want to ask this group for?
I love this question because I always ask this question and now I'm stumped. I'm not stumped. What I need is really, well, we didn't talk about this, but basically I am building my law practice as a means to an end to start a fund.
And or become an investor in some fashion. So any and all clients who want to support that larger mission and know you will get incredible legal service on your entrepreneurial journey, join me, not just because it's me, but because there's a larger cause at play. I think everybody that I've talked to and how can I help have all said to me, we just need more women that look like you to write checks and to give checks.
And so I've taken that to heart and that is sort of going to be this next phase of my career too, is to, to either build a fund or support other funds. Yeah, so that's really what I'm asking for is to just join me in this cause.
And for everybody who wants to work with you, support you, give you money to write checks with, where do you want them to go so they can find you?
Yeah, they can come to my website at esla. com. So E S S E L A W. They can email me at shaheen at esla. com. It's probably the easiest And Shaheen is S H A H E E N. Just so many people just find me on LinkedIn. It's really easy to, you know and I'm, I am a Gemini. So I literally respond to everything immediately. Like you can text me and I'll respond. You can email me. You can link and message me and all the notifications pop up. And I. The Gemini in me is like, ooh, communication, fun, connection, yay. It doesn't overwhelm me. I love it. Yeah. And I just love people, Kara. And I love what you're doing for this community and this world. And thanks for amplifying our voices and creating a safe space for us to talk and build things together. Really beautiful work. I'm so proud to call you a friend.
Thank you. Same. I mean, it's, it's an honor to be able to create this space for everyone. And it is a relief that to me that the list of women who are already making an impact and who are committed and share so many of the values that we've talked about today, they're doing that work.
They're doing the quiet work. And some of them, like we, you know, we talked about Maggie when you jumped on whose episode recently came out. And what she's doing at Blink now, you see what she's doing and you're like, damn, I got to step it up. And then you meet her as a human and you're like, you are the most normal person that you would never imagine is doing all of these incredible things.
She sounds incredibly normal. Incredibly normal. And, and so down to earth and so, so love led, like I wrote a post the other day that just said, how can you love like Maggie today? And I keep asking myself that like. Am I being brave enough? Am I coming from love enough? Am I Like, how can I, like, be of service at a degree, like, she changed my expectation of what it really means to be of service.
She has an incredible story and she clearly came on this earth with a very specific soul's journey, right?
Yes.
Wow.
Which, which she would admit she didn't know was coming. Fair enough. Fair enough.
But wow. You know yeah. And I think that's so beautiful that you're giving access to our community and your community and saying, get to know each other, you know, connecting us is amazing.
That's all we want.
Right?
Yes.
Thank you for having me. Oh, thank you for having me. You're amazing.
Thank you for being a yes. I cannot wait to hear Yeah, just how the fact that people know there's someone to go to for all the things you provide is a big deal. So thank you.
And also Kara, I will offer this too.
Like if women are venturing into wanting to be investors, but are intimidated by looking at a term sheet or don't know how to do diligence. Like I am happy to just talk through that gratis. You know what I mean? Like, let's just, this is just, let's help each other out kind of time and get, get things moving. Yeah.
I may have an earmarked list for work, a workshop coming up that might need you in that. I would love to do it.
I've done like little webinars and stuff where I've said, okay, let me just walk you through this thing because let's just get the basics out there so that you even know what questions to ask. Yup. Yup.
Yep.
Let's do it. We'll do it.
We got it. Okay. Amazing. Well, thank you so much for your time today. Thanks, my friend. I'll talk to you soon.
All the links to connect with Shaheen, Essie Law, and everything else she's up to are in her show notes at thepowerfulladies. com. Please subscribe to this podcast wherever you're listening. And join us on Instagram at powerful ladies. If you're looking to connect with me, visit Kara Duffy dot com or Kara underscore Duffy on Instagram.
I'll be back next week with a brand new episode. Until then, I hope you're taking on being powerful in your life. Go be awesome. And up to something you love.
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Instagram: theesselaw
Twitter: esselaw
Website: esselaw.com
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Email: shaheen@esselaw.com
Created and hosted by Kara Duffy
Audio Engineering & Editing by Jordan Duffy
Production by Amanda Kass
Graphic design by Anna Olinova
Music by Joakim Karud
