Episode 332: Navigating Life’s Transitions with Clarity | Sarah Auda | CEO of Three Beats Consulting
Sarah Auda is a Los Angeles–based coach and consultant who helps women navigate the big shifts in life and work with clarity, courage, and purpose. After a series of personal losses reshaped her priorities, Sarah rebuilt her career around integrity and helping others do the same. In this episode, Kara and Sarah get real about the messy middle of transitions—balancing professionalism and motherhood, simplifying when life feels overwhelming, and asking the essential questions that lead to real growth. From powerful self-reflection exercises to stories that stick with you, this is an honest, practical, and inspiring conversation for anyone ready to align their life with their deepest values.
“I think I am one of those people that when wisdom speaks, I act immediately.”
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Follow along using the Transcript
Chapters:
00:00 Leaving Corporate Life: A Journey of Self-Discovery
00:19 Meet Sarah Auda: Founder of Three Beats Consulting
02:14 The Reality of Balancing Professionalism and Motherhood
06:05 The Impact of Death on Life Choices
08:11 Transitioning from Corporate to Entrepreneurship
11:21 The Power of Self-Trust and Experimentation
20:03 The Importance of Alignment in Life and Business
24:28 The Role of Coaches in Personal and Professional Growth
32:22 Embracing Simplicity and Legacy in Later Life
33:10 Embracing Abundance and Support
34:11 The Miracle Inventory: Recognizing Life's Gifts
34:54 Data-Driven Confidence: Owning Your Achievements
35:33 Navigating Uncertainty: Trusting the Process
38:01 The Power of Community and Support
39:24 Breaking Out of the Fog: Finding Clarity
40:32 The Importance of Coaching and Mentorship
48:06 Exploring Desires and Dreams
51:21 Creating a Life Aligned with Values
57:18 The Power of Quiet and Reflection
59:46 Final Thoughts and Call to Action
There was a grief process that happened when I left corporate work to work for myself because I was like, who am I without a big company name and a big company paycheck? So then learning to be like, can I just create what I want on my own after making literally millions and millions of dollars for other people? What is it that would be a fulfilling life for me?
That's founder of Three Beats Consulting, Sarah Auda. I'm Kara Duffy, and this is The Powerful Ladies Podcast. There's something so refreshing when you meet people in the wild who you recognize as someone like you. You're not sure what it is at first, but you're immediately a, I need to go talk to them. That's how I met today's guest, and it turns out my instincts were correct. Sarah Otta is the founder of Three Beats Consulting, a coaching and consulting firm. There are so many types of coaches and consultants out in the world today, and Sarah's approach is very similar to mine. Mixing clarity, alignment, and making sure our clients truly understand and know themselves as we're building the architecture around them for their dream lives and businesses. Having someone on your team who's holding space for the greatest version of you can truly change everything.
Welcome to The Powerful Ladies podcast.
Thank you. It's so good to be here. It's such a delight and I appreciate the opportunity to empower women.
I am really glad that you were a, yes. We had a really impactful one-on-one conversation after we had met in a networking group, a few, months ago now at this point. And I was just really struck with the alignment that you and I had of our approach to life and business and the unique story that I think you have to tell that this audience needs to hear. And so before, before I ask my first question, let's just tell everyone your name, where you are in the world, and what you're up to. 'Cause I'll just dive right in 'cause I know who you are.
Yeah. Sarah Auda, a UDA is the last name and people can get caught up on that a little bit. I'm based in the greater Los Angeles area, born and raised here. And what was there a third question?
What you're up to? What are you doing in the world?
I running my business full-time as a coach and consultant running my team. And also, as you can see today, life had it in the details that I do this from my daughter's bedroom, so also full-time mom of an almost 8-year-old girl. And yeah, so that's what I'm up to these days.
Yeah, I was hoping that the unicorns in the background weren't yours, but Yeah.
I'm like, this is my office, everyone. I believe in whimsy, which is true, but Yeah. Yeah. But I think this is good, right? Like the raw cut of the intersection of professionalism and motherhood. Yeah. So being able to have both of those hats on is such a juggle and an honor and a fun thing and a challenging thing and all the things yeah.
I think it also is just the reality, right? There's so much That's true. When you look at social media, there's always the what's on Instagram versus what's real, and Yeah. I'm glad that we're seeing a shift into more reality being used on social media and more people talking about the reality because yeah, there are some days that this podcast is recorded in a studio.
There are some days this podcast is recorded at my dining room table like it is today. There are some days that this podcast is recorded in a closet because that's what had to happen that day and Right. You just have to keep moving with the flow. Yes, we're actually having our, we just had our first happy hour this year last night, but in, except in August we're having our first one that we're, we co-hosted last night, but our first, on our own happy hour we're having, it's gonna be women specific and we're gonna be talking about this concept of how do women move forward and keep doing the things and stay optimistic when life challenges you, or as we're experiencing a lot this year when the world needs your activism because yeah. Our to-do lists are big enough already.
No, it's true. And to be totally honest with you, Kara, like today has been a control alt delete day like today has just not gone at all. How I wanted my hair isn't what I wanted for this. This background isn't what I wanted for this. I wanted everything to be perfect because I respect you so much and this is such a wonderful opportunity.
And it was like just one thing after another that happened and it's was like, okay. And I was sitting at Spectrum earlier about to return a router and I didn't know I needed an appointment. And I was sitting there and I was like, huh. So I'm in the waiting room of life right now. And it just was this spark of like, how often we feel like we are in life's waiting room, waiting for our name to be called so that we can start, or begin or right.
Get launched. And I was like, oh my God, our life is the waiting room. So what do you want the waiting, waiting room to be? Because ultimately when our name gets called, how I see it is that's when we make our transition out of this life. And as death has been such a big part of why I built my business the way I have and why I have the lifestyle I do and the values that I have.
And it was just one of those reminders of even today with this wonderful opportunity and conversation. There are highs and there are lows and there are waiting and all the things. So yeah, I think that having those raw conversations about what does it really look like to be a woman who is a professional, holding a high bar of standard, and then also showing up in other places, whether that's in motherhood or hobbies or for family or for friends or whatever the case might be.
I, I, no one does it perfectly, but the behind the scenes is what we're really missing, and that raw cut, that raw edit is what we're missing. So I love that you're creating that.
And I think it's something that we collectively are talking more about. Yeah. You brought up how the waiting room, which I wanna get more into.
And you brought up how death has impacted your trajectory and it's such a core story to like part of your origin journey.
So let's tell everyone what you're comfortable sharing of how death truly gave you a pivot point in your life.
Yeah, so I I'll give a little bit of backstory, which is, I've been born and raised in Los Angeles, so this has always been home for me. And then I spent five years in kind of three five years individually in different industries. So 15 years total across entertainment, across higher education, and then across mental health and addiction treatment, all on the executive side. And so I worked my way up the ladder of what I thought corporate leadership. Was calling me to and what I was excited about. And then one day out of the blue I had a friend who was very tragically killed. And this week specifically, I wasn't sure if I was gonna share it on the podcast, 'cause sometimes it can be a bit jarring. But with what happened in Reno, what happened in dc my friend was killed by an act of gun violence. She was a therapist and it was at the hands of one of her patients. And it was one of those moments where life stood still and it was this stark kind of reality of. Before and after. And it was like I was invited into this inquiry of if today were my last day, would I be okay with what things looked like?
And the answer was immediately no. Like when I asked myself inside and I had a six month old daughter I had a very high paying corporate job and I was just like, none. Like the job is not worth it for a life that isn't fully mine. And she was one of what ended up being almost 20 different deaths over the course of the next two years from, old age to brain tumor health complications, a surgery that wrong, a drowning, a car accident, like ranging from 19 years old to 89 years old.
And it was just, if you do the math on that, it's like there's almost a call every month of someone who's transitioned. And that just brought me to this place of what really matters. What are we even doing here and. Nothing is for sure. So how do we wanna then live? So that really was what invited me into, okay, all these years of corporate experience, all these years of corporate leadership and strategy and teaming and applying my master's as an organizational leadership.
So it was all applying all of that in real time. What would that look like if I did that for myself? And so that was the transition point from working for other people to starting my company, three weeks consulting.
Yeah. And it's so hard for me even hearing this story for the second time to process the number 20.
Yeah.
My mother has a superstition about things coming in threes. And and she's not wrong. It's real well, and I'm just hearing her brain melt about the idea of 20. She's that's not a multiple of threes. And then it's so many. Oh, many. Probably more, honestly. There are probably more, but like usually it's just, that's such a level of intensity and I am, yeah.
I'm thinking about both the level of self knowledge and capacity you already had to have to process that number of deaths in that short period of time. Let alone in a lifetime. 'cause many people don't even have that in a lifetime.
And not like crawling into a hole and not deciding. Like instead, some people would have that experience and choose it doesn't matter what I do, let's just say screw all of it.
I'm gonna stay in bed. None of this matters. You took it and went the complete opposite direction of, oh no. We're gonna get every last drop outta this. Because I said so. And is that so were you born with that? Approach to life? Is that something that you learned or did it really just come like a lightning bolt from in that moment?
I think I am one of those people that when wisdom speaks, I act like immediately. I had a second divorce. I had a divorce in my twenties. I had a divorce in my thirties. I turned 40 a few years ago, and in, in the second divorce, when I knew it was done, I had the conversation within 10 days.
It was like I checked with myself, I talked to my three closest people, I talked to my therapist. I had a conversation with him, and it was just like I don't know, I don't think that's, I don't know if that's spec, I don't wanna say special, but I do think it is unique to me that when I have information, it's like guilty conscience.
Like I can't not be in integrity about that and I have to address it. And so I think when Jen made her transition when she passed. I think there were a lot of things, call it postpartum hormones, right? Like that mama bear, just like decisiveness that women have of I will turn over a car for this child.
It might've been that. It might've been luck. It might've been the divine. I don't know. Honestly, all I know is that I just had this deep inner knowing. Now's the. You're going in all, all in on you. That's, that is the path forward. There really aren't any other options. And like closing the exit doors of, okay, I'm gonna trust if I need my other job.
If I need my job back, I'm gonna go beg for it back at some point. Or I'll find another executive job. But I just need to give myself 12 months. And actually this is I think this is worth getting into a little bit, Kara, which is I think so many of us feel like when we make a transition or we're trying something new, that it has to be that way forever and ever.
Amen. And so to be like, what if you just give yourself 30 days, six months, nine months, 12 months? So I gave myself 12 months. And I was like, we're gonna experiment. We're gonna do your own business for 12 months. We're gonna do everything possible to support you in creating as much success as possible in sustainability.
And if in 12 months the trajectory isn't going up or it's not going the way that I thought, I abandon ship and I make a different way forward. So I think the resiliency of I'm going to figure it out, might be a little more innate for me. Not without its fear, not without its challenge, not without, its like questioning for sure.
But I do think that there is inside of me this kind of sense of I can't be, I don't know how to live out of integrity. If something is true I have to live that I, I don't know any other way. And then there's also the, and let's try it for X amount of time, get some information in the science room of life, the lab, and then make some different decisions from there.
If it's not trending in the way that I'd like it to.
And I hear. Two core things that have that. The first is that the more you work on yourself, the more you build self-trust, the more you're listening. Not just to yourself, but whatever God counsel, you believe in. Yeah. The it, you start having Jedi speed with self choice communication, fixing things. Like the getting things back into integrity gets shorter and shorter. Because no one can stay in integrity all the time. No. If anything, if we're in integrity all the time, then we're actually not in integrity with our lives. Like what we should be doing.
Yeah. Yeah.
But there's this element of even giving people coaching feedback. If you're irritated with an employee, maybe you would've sat on it for a month before and then it starts becoming two weeks and then one week and then a day, and then immediate. Yeah. Like you start seeing the tolerance of being out of communication with what you know to be true. As true. Yeah. Shorter and shorter. And I think that's something that people don't realize happens the more time they spend in that self-development space.
The other thing I'm hearing you say is what to me is so core to entrepreneurship, treating things like their projects and to, to me, life and business is actually not anything different. It's all projects.
For sure.
And so many people jump in and think. This has to work, this has to last forever. And it's I know that the, if you're, and it's easier to see, I think when people have a tangible product versus a service or like a lifestyle change they wanna make. But if you work in the world of having tangible products, you have an idea, you create it and you keep working on it. There's this testing and fit checking and all of these layers of making sure that it's really where it should be. Like the ideation continues. And so often people who haven't been part of that innovation process don't realize how impermanent most concepts are. And so you really do have to break it into phases. And I think that there's a, it takes the pressure off when you give yourself, when you call it a project, and when you give it a timeframe.
A hundred percent. I call it an experiment every time. Yeah. With my clients, I'm like, run the experiment. Yeah. It might be a two year experiment, it might be a two decade experiment, it might be a two week experiment. Go experiment.
Get the data. Yeah. Yeah. And I think as well, there's so many women right now who I find are waking up feeling stuck, and it's really frustrating for women who have done work in the past and who have made bold moves. And then there's some women who are waking up for the first time being like, why do I live in this house? Why do I have this job? I've been teasing them about it's not teasing. I really do think this is a fun project to do. But I've been encouraging them to do something I call the move abroad challenge. Where you don't actually move abroad, but you act like you are. So you sell all your things, you got all your expenses, you like really start building this new life for yourself. But there's some, there's power in that radical pretend forces you to actually see what you care about. You have much more gentler ways of helping people get there. I don't know about that, but not less impactful, just maybe less having to sell all the things you own than what I was recommending to some people recently. I love that though.
I am gonna run that to myself. Actually. I'm gonna run that experiment just in my own mind.
Yeah. No it's so empowering to look around your space and be like, okay, pick your country. Yep. We're moving there in two weeks. What in my space is coming? There's, it's. There's more life to live than going through your stuff on a regular basis. Yes. And whether it's paperwork or how many books you have or your closet or the toys that pile up. But after it's no. And like, why do we have all these subscriptions and memberships? And when I lived in Germany, I had the least amount of bills I've ever had.
Just because I didn't have all the other things that when you are used to living somewhere and even know these things exist, they pile up so quickly. So to your point, even if people try it for 30, 60 days
how long can you go without Netflix?
Even, yeah, in 2022, so not that long ago. I took my first trip away from my daughter and my, at that point, husband at the time, and I did two weeks in London with my coach, some friends, some mentors, some alone time, and.
It was so refreshing to me to be like, I can live out of a carry on and a purse. Like, how simple can life be? And I didn't miss life at home. I didn't miss the hub, I didn't miss the pack schedule. It was like, my job is to go and have tea on the corner and people watch for a couple of hours and I'm, then I'm gonna go see a show and then I'm gonna go have dinner at this, I don't know, vegetarian, Michelin star restaurant.
It just the simplicity of life and how joyful that can be. And I, I had shared with you in some of the pre-work here for this, that's just simplicity has really been the marker of my forties of like, how much can I deduce down into what really matters? And I, would I like my trajectory in life and learning to be different than death and loss and grief and mourning and transition.
Yeah. And at the same time. I don't know that I would exchange the life lesson because in that I was really given the gift, I think of perspective of what actually do you need to live and what actually do you need to be happy and fulfilled me as a person, right? Which is gonna be different for everyone.
And I think that helped me get really down to brass tacks to take away all the frills and all the, to some degree there was a grief process that happened when I left corporate work to work for myself because I was like, who am I without a big company name and a big company paycheck behind me?
So then learning to be like, can I just create what I want on my own after making literally millions and millions of dollars for other people? What is it that would be a fulfilling life for me? So Bro Wears book, the Top Five Regrets of the Dying. I think if any individual asks themselves those five questions or grappled with those five ideas, it.
And they're really open-minded. They can't walk away from that unchanged, like they're going to leave with some information there. Similarly to that exercise of you're leaving in two weeks, pick the country and decide, what stays, what goes, how you live. And then Martha Beck's book The Way of Integrity.
It came out a few years ago, but I would say that is one of the things where I had a very shallow understanding of what integrity was before reading that book. It was like, do the right thing. Do what you say. And then I was like, oh, wait a second. It's about the insides and outsized matching. It's about actual integration of that.
And then Martha's book just took it to a whole new level where I was like, wow, where am I lying to myself? Where am I lying? Yes, where am I withholding? Like omission is in a sense of breach of integrity. So I think that really, yeah, just really got the fire. Going in terms of the conversation we're having here? Yeah.
And that's what I think made me like, even we had a conversation when we were in that networking group. But I was like, okay, her, something about her, we need to talk. And then we did talk and I was like, okay. And now I know why. And it's because of this alignment of we, the methodology I call the have your all method and how like you're bringing so much of that to your clients as well. And I, because of the nature of how I've built my bubble for my business for and for my own life. I get caught off guard at a starker way now than I used to when I find people who are not living in alignment with themselves. You know when people are asking me like, oh, what type of coach are you? And I'm like no. Like it's the whole thing. It's a 360 experiment of like you and your business. And they can't, it's, I have to be really careful communicating to new people what, how I'm actually going to help them because they can't comprehend it. They don't believe it. It's outside of their scope of belief. And I'm like, but no. Like the secret is if you're living in a line life and business, you can double your business in like such shorts amount of time. And when I look at the programs and services that you're bringing to women in particular of like this choosing alignment, because the biggest challenge we usually have is we don't know what our values are.
We don't know what that alignment would be. So do you wanna talk for a second about how you approach that with your clients and what else that unlocks when people are able to step into that?
Yeah, I, this is such, oh, such a juicy question because I think you and I, Kara we're not for everybody. No. And for people who want the pre-made packaged, here are the five steps you have to take. Those aren't our clients. Like our clients are the women who are like, I'm hungry and I'm willing I'm hungry for something different. I know there's another level and I'm willing to make the investment, set aside the time, get the support.
And I think a majority of my clients are women. So I think that's a hopeful thing that women are starting to. Seek support and not see that as something that makes them weaker or lesser than somehow. And so what I will share is, my enrollment process and you and I are still no new to each other, so I don't quite know what your enrollment process is, but my enrollment process is fairly lengthy.
There are three stages because I'm like, the first stage is about getting information. What's even happening? Let me know you. The second stage is let's get under the hood of the car because you might need an oil change or you might need a whole new car. We don't know what we're dealing with and I don't know unless we actually assess and triage this.
And then the third level is, okay, now that we've taken the steps of getting to know each other, building a relationship, assessing what it is that you wanna see, shift because your life is so important. It's so sacred, it's so holy. What you want, what you dream for, what you vision. There are high stakes here, and I don't say that to scare someone off, but the right person's gonna be like, yeah, I have fucking high stakes.
Yes. My friend just died. I have a six month old. What do I do? So I'm speaking to that person. I was, eight years ago. So the three questions that I invite people into, regardless of how, what profession they are, what their age, what, it doesn't matter, my questions to them is, what is it that you want?
And if they have trouble articulating it, it's helping them articulate that. The second question is, what is that worth to you if that were to happen? And the third question is, what questions should I be asking you? Now those three questions tell me a lot. Like their response tells me a lot about where they're at in their level of readiness.
I can't tell you how many times, and it's usually at least 50% of the people who come to me, let's say I have on average 250 consults a year-ish, is generally what we field outta those two 50. There's only about 50% that even are ready for the kind of work that we do. And even in that, it might be a one hour strategy session, it might be a four month mastermind.
It might be a six month individual coaching program or something else. But those three questions tell me a lot about where someone's at. So I'm sure you work in a similar way, but I think those questions ignite a sense of agency, a sense of ownership. A sense of commitment. And if someone is not open, if someone's not willing, if someone's not ready.
Great. There are lots of other opportunities, right? To get support and to be served, but if we're gonna work together, those are the three very simple and basic ways that we start. And I think you and I are really in alignment with this too, Kara, where it's when I got certified as a coach in 2006, there was not the industry it is today.
It's really changed. And I think that sometimes as a sales tactic, coaches can use it as, oh, let me create this complicated system and all this curriculum and so much content. Yes. Instead of just what do you want, what is it worth you? What should I be asking? The truth is simple.
So yes. Can we just really get to a place where we're just talking black and white? Can a 10-year-old understand what we're talking about? Let's deduce it down to that, and then how willing are you to take steps forward in that? So yeah. Does that answer your question?
No, it does. It does. And, I hope that people listening are like thinking about this for themselves. Because these same questions apply if you're trying to figure out your life in general. Yeah. Or if you're trying to dive deeper into this business idea that you have, or even if you're, how you're working in a leadership position, like there's, so the entrepreneurs and the people who are thriving at life are the ones who are spending the most time doing the work on themselves. Right. That's right. And I had a conversation last night at this happy hour event where somebody brought up the fact that there's so much AI now and there's so many ways to launch new businesses today.
And he's do you think this is a breakthrough in entrepreneurship? And I'm like, no. Not at all. And they're like, really? I'm like, yeah. Like it's great that there's all these AI tools and there's all these online platforms and e-commerce, there's all these ways to start a business faster than we ever could have before.
But if you don't have the core fundamental things figured out it's not value to work those pillars. Yes. Yeah. And it's so common for someone to call me. 'cause they've gotten, they've built a business jail around themselves and they go, it's working and I hate it. And I'm like, yeah, 'cause you just built something that was some, it's like building someone else's life.
It's the same idea. And it's not that, again, I don't wanna scare people away from starting things because there is this pro like just start and We'll, we can fix things as you go. Always. Yeah. But there's going to come a point when you have to ask the real questions. And you can never do it alone.
And if you have. A coach with integrity versus just people who are selling themselves under that title. It can completely transform how you see yourself, your business. And it's momentum. It's not level one to two, it's one to 10. your whole life is gonna level up and be impacted. So there, there's also a level of are you brave enough to go on this journey? Because there's no way, it's not gonna be uncomfortable at some moment. Yes.
Yes. And I know you work with coaches too. And I think a question that I've gotten to grapple with, and probably you too, and probably a lot of people in your community, is am I willing to take on a client who is more successful, who has more financial net worth, whatever, bigger dreams. Different dreams. I think that there's a lot of learning for me in that, in those early years too, and getting to be like, oh no, the more secure and settled you are in your vision. Like Ramit Setti in his book I'll Teach You to Be Rich. He's your vision for your financial abundant future should be so specific to you that someone else would be like, why would you want that? It should be so curated to exactly what you want. And I don't know, especially as women, if we get to that level of detail I love one of the questions you had asked in some of the, inspiration here, which is like, what would make your life easier? I was like, oh, I love this question.
Especially as someone who loves simplicity. And it was like, oh, I'd move my personal, assistant from part-time to full-time. I would never have to drive in LA again. It's like it, but how fun to be able to play instead of being like, is this reasonable? Is this budgetarily wise?
Is this something that is possible to have happen? And I think that there's so much room for play and dreaming and visioning and let's just. Have fun. Let's just paint and see what happens without any commitment to making it a reality. And what you shared about like transaction, like I think there are a lot of transaction coaches out there, or a lot of transaction professionals out there.
Yes, you pay this, I give you this, versus investing right in transformation. So transaction versus transformation. For me, I'm not just looking for, oh, I have six spots on my individual roster at a time for a private one-on-one. I have one spot open, so who's gonna fill that spot? I'm like, who's a woman or a person who feels like there's another level.
They are not willing to do it alone. They are not willing to wait, they are not willing to right put to put it off. And who's ready for it right now? And that's the person, right? It's like the transformation versus the transaction. And I think we see a lot of transaction right now, in our industry.
And there's so much noise in the business, self-improvement space. It's overwhelming the list of things you could be doing, you should be doing. And it changes Yes. Every week based on who's the talking head and I always tell people it's not that everyone is lying, that's not the case. But you need, if you're gonna co consume that information you need to have a trusted source next to you. distill it, to decide, is this for you? Is this in alignment with what you want? Is this for the right phase of your business? Is this for the right phase of your life?
Yes.
Otherwise we start spinning out and yeah you're spending all your money on marketing and you're like, why are you doing that?
Yeah. So two things that I would share about that. Number one is I recently, I don't know if I told you this about us on our call or not, but I recently went on a 30 day content fast.
'cause I was like, I found myself being like Tim Ferriss says this, and Brene Brown says that, and Mel Robbins says this. And I just found myself like, wow. How much am I outsourcing my thinking? To someone else with these sound clips, which as powerful as they are, and as wonderful as the, those individuals are, how much am I really outsourcing to these talking heads?
And I just thought, okay, so for 30 days I did a fast, I paused all subscriptions, had them go into this one folder, didn't listen to any podcasts, didn't listen to any TED talks, and I just let my inner wisdom drive the bus. What do I think of that? And. What if I sat with that uncomfortable idea or thought or feeling for three minutes instead of this is the fix.
Right? And it was amazing, even just in 30 days. Not to say that ingesting that content isn't great, 'cause I think it can unlock deeper levels of our own wisdom, but it really like cleared the playing field of let me reset and let me let my own inner wisdom speak here. And so the second thing I'll share is that's what inspired me.
And you ask okay, what are you up to? In my forties I am seeing, oh wow. The second success curve, right? Moving from striving to really owning and helping women. One of the things that I would suggest to any woman who's watching this is due to your life timeline, right?
Lifetime. And you could look at this up on Google, right? But it's like lifetime line. Like in the decades specifically, what were the low notes? What were the high notes? What were the wins? What were the challenges? What were the hardships? What were the good things? And then to start to deduce what are those main learning life themes that you've had?
Once you hit your forties, fifties, and certainly in your sixties, that's what you have as a mentorship tool, right? Whether you're an actual mentor or not. That's the message. That's the life that you have to share. That's the wisdom you've culminated, whether you've ever been in an executive position or not.
And I have a group, a mastermind for 12 professional women, forties to sixties this fall that's starting called Legacy. And we're looking at that second success curve. And. Success looks so different now. It looks like, for me at least, quiet, simple, easy, spacious margin, right? Only full-hearted, full-hearted yeses, right?
Otherwise, it's not worth it. So that's, yeah, I'm so glad to be able to speak to your community and our community about that.
And I think you, so many people get nervous. They know that they have this calling. Every person I've ever talked to started their own thing, whether it was a business, a nonprofit start, they, you hear the whispers and they get louder and, we know that we should avoid getting hit by the truck before that.
That's the universe sense. But we hear these whispers and we get so afraid to believe that. We will have abundance. And we'll be supported and we'll have what we need because up usually up to that point. The only way we've survived is at maximum intensity.
So how, like for people listening, what can you tell them about either the leap of faith or the belief that we don't need to be sprinting all the time and fighting and struggling all the time? To have the things that we really need?
Such a good question and one that I struggle with honestly, on a daily basis. It's like, how much am I making work and how much am I just here as a part of life doing her thing? The first thing I would say, 'cause I think that the truth is unreputable.
So for any person, I would say I would invite you into a miracle Inventory, is what I call it. And a Miracle Inventory is really looking at the decades of your life, one to 10, 10 to 20, 20, 30, et cetera. And looking at what were the things that have occurred for you that you really did not have any part of.
Right? The job that came outta nowhere, the income that showed up just when you needed it. The door that was open, the friendship that was made, right? Our lives are littered with these incredible miracles, but how often do we actually identify those? And I had a woman who was looking for a new job, and so we had a couple of sessions just helping her feel very secure in.
Here's what I will say, data doesn't lie. So for a lot of people who are feeling like, I'm feeling uncertain about myself, and how do I know that I'm really re ready for the next position, and how do I set myself up? A lot of people will buy into this idea of posturing. Act as though, but what I'm about is let's go back and actually look at what you've done, right?
How much volunteerism, how many awards have you won? Where have you given your time? What have you learned? How many certifications have you gotten? How many classes have you gone to? On the same token of that, it's like, how many things have you led? Have you created curriculum for established, et cetera?
And usually people are blown away when they actually get that data in front of them. So there's two parts, I would say. What's the actual truth about you? And then and one woman I know I was coaching and she was like, I'm looking for this leadership position, but I've never led a team before.
And I was like over the course of your 20 years of experience, where have you led groups of people, even if that wasn't like in your title as direct reports. And she came up with five different stories and five different data points. She didn't have to pretend. She got to say, in this year I did this, in this year I did this.
In this year I did this. And then I think also looking at how life has opened doors that you had no control over. It's like that balance between showing up for life, being ready when the door opens, oh my gosh, what's her name? I know I had shared about her. Oh, ina Garten the right White House budget analyst that moved into Beloved Icon, culinary, icon. Having her moment in the nineties. Summer also. Yes. And her book be Ready for Luck when it shows up or whatever the title is. But that's the gist of it. It's okay, life is unfolding and are you ready for it? And so owning what you have done, what you do know, and then being ready when those doors open.
But I think the Miracle inventory of like how has life showed up and where has she provided getting that data to be like, okay, if I have 40 plus years of experience that says this. Something has always happened to help sustain me. And then you look at what is the reality about me? Even if you are, and I'm gonna say just, but even if you were just an administrative assistant, right?
Or an intern. There is so much richness in what you've been exposed to, what you've seen, what you've done, how you've shown up what the growth right learning curve is. And so I think when you can articulate both, that's where you really find that alchemy for I can trust what's next. Let me just do the next 5%.
So instead of there was this TED talk I watched recently about grief and transition, and she's like, when you're in grief, you can only see, it's like driving through fog. You can only see five feet ahead of you. And I think for any of us, that's really all we can see anyway. Yeah. But it's don't turn your bright on or you get blinded, you can't turn the lights off or you can't see, but you have to go at two miles an hour and only see five feet in front of you.
And I think if we had more grace for that process, that we would all be in a different position. There'd be so much more permission.
And I think too, like when you're in, I've, I come from the east coast, right? So the northeast in particular, when you're driving through a snowstorm the safest way to actually drive through a snowstorm is with other cars around you also going slow because you can follow their lights. You can follow their lights. You can follow their tracks. And I wanna layer on what you were saying 'cause it's so right on of go through the fog at the speed you need to, but who are you calling in?
Who can see beyond the fog. And we get caught in this space of one thinking there's only a, a zero or a one option. Yeah. To like that. For sure. For sure. And then layering that onto our vocabulary like you were talking about. Yeah. And oh it doesn't count if I didn't do X, Y, and Z. And it's what? Who made up that rule? And then also being like I don't know how to do it.
And you're like, yeah, but you don't live, you're not a hermit in the woods. You have known people, even if you knew only five people in your entire life people. And just by starting with the people, it starts to unlock other people's wisdom. Like you don't need to have, be the source for every solution Yeah.
That you're facing. And there's so much beauty in inviting people in to hold your hand in those moments or to remind you who you are, or to just come outta left field and you'd be like, oh, that there's a completely different thing I wasn't even thinking about. That makes total sense. Yeah.
And yeah. I was excited for this conversation today because I wanted people to hear options for breaking out of that fog, of breaking out of whatever they've built around themselves that they know no longer serves them. Because there's something, I want as many people as possible to be in their zone of genius, to be in their light as brightly as it can be.
We need it as humanity. And even if they, even if you think you're dimmed at, oh, just 10%, I'm like, life's 90% we're okay. I'm like, is it. And maybe I am the crazy person for being like, no, I want people at a hundred percent. And I'm not talking about a hundred percent from a performance standard. Yeah.
Not from an energy aspect, but from a No. A, a a manage an energy management. Some, sometimes you only have 20% capacity. Sometimes you have 98% capacity. Yeah.
But are we exploring and checking in with what is our a hundred percent? What is us at Integrity? What is us actually maximizing this life that we have. Because no one, unless you have a coach, no one's asking you those questions. And that's where my, yeah. I'm like, everyone listening, please just run and find a coach that fits. Please.
No truly. And I think it's really important that it's not just any coach, but I think it's like a human that you do feel like you connect with and it's not a should. It's a, I feel connected to this person. I had this same coach. She was a life van business coach. I had her for six years and she helped me create a multiple six figure business. She helped me, break through so many inner barriers, but it was holding, it wasn't just holding the mirror up, but it was like inviting me into how she saw me.
No. You are capable of more. No. You do have a capacity for this. No. You are a CEO. You're not just a business owner, like you're the president of your company. Oh my gosh. Yeah, you're right. And I think for someone else to hold, like right now, I was honest with you in our other call, Kara, but like I'm craving.
A human who can hold right now for the capacity that I'm at to be like and what do and do, dot do? And what do you want? What do you really want? What do you really want? And to expand that capacity for dreaming, thinking, believing. Like I just need someone to hold for that before I, 10 years ago, I had no idea there was even a container to hold for, so it's I think you're so right and I think please don't do it alone. You know anyone. You don't have to do it alone. Find someone you really resonate with, whether that is a coach, a mentor, an advisor. There are lots of different ways to get support. But I think to your point, our.
Our role is to help architect the future for someone and to help build out those blueprints and build out the plan so that they can have the life that they want most, which includes work and health and family and all the things, finances, and a lot of people don't know that's possible.
No, and I think it's also, again, speaking to the different types of coaches that are out there. Successful people have 20 coaches and they might not call them a coach, it could be an expert, it could be an advisor, but that's ultimately what they are. But I think that when you're evaluating what type of coach is right for you, you and I are in a unique space where we're holding, we can completely strategize for someone's business if we wanted to. We can completely strategize for their life. We can do both of them like. And it's that's not a normal coaching space.
And I don't know that everyone needs a 360 person to come in and hold all the spaces for them, but when you are, to your point, when you're ready for that, it's a completely different way of looking at all the things because Yeah.
I personally dunno how to build something if we're not putting it all on the table. And I can again, you and I, we've, for 20 years before, like we were, we've done those things where we've been like, okay, we're just gonna put our blinders on and just build this Yeah. A hundred million dollars plan because we said so.
And yeah. There might not be any soul in it. Like we're like, we have the capability of not including everything, but we know the power of when you do. Because it's, you, it's taking off all these different glasses in such the best way.
It's strategy with heart, right? Yeah. It's strategy from a values perspective. And there's nothing better than that. No, that's, that is a fulfilled life. Yes. You know it, right? When you're living in those values and people are like, I don't know what my values are, that could be a great first step.
Yes. And I do think that this is it works at team level. Like it's not only at a one-on-one level.
For sure.
And it gets more complicated at team level gets juicier. But it does it can work at many different levels, in many different type of group environments. And I am excited that I see more and more people choosing the short-term, complicated, term, more fulfilling path. E especially when we continue to be in a business environment that's all about. 10 xing tech launch startups and you know how fast and this idea of magical money that appears while you're sleeping. Somebody was asking me the other day about I really want passive income. And I was like, that is the biggest lie that the internet has told anyone.
Who also my question is always great love that for you. You seem really clear why. No judgment, but let's explore. Why would you like passive income? Because there's likely something embedded in that, simplicity, right? Lots of different layers into that. And so I think, unfortunately when I think about Jen, this is what I come back to, right? Is if a gun is to your head, literally you get real clear, real fast on what you care about. Who is that person you wanna call? What is that right decision you're gonna make next if your life doesn't end in that moment?
It's rather extreme, but it's if we're, when I invite people to write their obituary or a letter to their family for their legacy binder, which everyone should have and everyone should update every six months, right? The passwords, the letter to your family, that all the things, right?
That just in case when you are faced with that, it's like what matters most? And so anyone who's like looking for a complicated system. You can stop and just be like, let me just write that letter. And what comes up from that is going to be a first step and a level one of, okay, how do you start to create a life from that place?
And what is that? What are those values? Who are those people? What is that simplicity? And yeah, I think that's, I think that's an important thing for all of us, for sure. Yeah.
It, yeah. And I always like using positive terminology in my marketing and things, but when people are like not getting it, I'm like, yeah, do you want the no bullshit plan?
Do you want the no tolerating plan? They're like oh. ' cause, because so often when you're not in this head space, you're thinking in a what? You don't want space, not what you do want space. And it's such a. It's the, for me personally with my business the, one of the biggest challenge has been getting marketing professionals that I incorporate into my business to understand the difference of how we speak when we're talking to people who are have passed through go versus who we speak to who are still on the outside. And again, it's not like some Wizard of Oz nonsense, like it's really just a matter of like where people's heads are at because the people who usually need you the most, we have to go back to step negative five versus step 10 that we might be living in. And it's a real delicate balance between negative vocabulary and positive vocabulary. And who's ready to hear the message and do the work.
Well, that's ownership, victimhood above the line, thinking below the line thinking, which have been helpful for me to, I remember the first time I really grasped owner, victim and I was like oh my gosh, I've been living as a victim for 35 years of my life. It was like a, slap upside the head to be like, okay, how do I wanna make owner? How do I wanna take ownership of this? Yeah. I am curious Kira, there's one exercise I love to give to people who are wanting to expand in their own creative capacity to dream. Is there any particular exercise or prompt that you like to give people, and then maybe we could just share one.
Sure. I have a little program that's called the Clarity Kit, and it's, I usually break it up so you can do it like one exercise a week, but it goes through some of the things you've talked about. Who are you up to this point? What? What do you really want? I like people going back to, if I'm gonna give one thing I like people going back to when they were eight years old, maybe eight to 10, and asking like, what did you love at that moment? There's something core to that time period where you're one foot in childhood, one foot into under, like being able to function in the adult world where we don't have all the disbelief, there's still lots of imagination, so very expansive. And yet we know some of the practicalities of things.
And so what did you love doing then? Were you writing, were you drawing, were you creating, being a nerd like me and creating magical businesses, whether they were out in the world or not. What did you love? Then what did you hope you were gonna be? Then there's something about going back to that.
As pure as possible core. And for some people it's a very triggering age time, so we can adjust it as needed. But there's a purity moment when all things were possible. And if you can tap back into that version of yourself all these things open up that we haven't given ourselves permission for as an adult.
Is there like one example that stands out to you of a story or an anecdote on someone that was just really pivotal for them? I'm like craving stories like this right now. Yes. That's why I'm asking.
I, what I, what popped into my head when you asked that was less about someone answering the 8-year-old version of themselves. But I will often have clients call me and be pitching this business idea they have that they wanna create. And when we start actually. Exploring who they really are and what they really care about. And what they really naturally will fall into rabbit holes on. We tend to redesign their business.
And sometimes it's radical and sometimes it's short.
Term. But there is a client who came to me convinced that they wanted to be a coach. And I was like, okay, great. And we start building it. Start building it. And as we're unpacking it all. I'm like I don't You used the word coach, but I think you meant it in a different way.
And we went back and looked at their business and they didn't wanna be a coach. They wanted to be creating space for people. Which actually transformed into how do we create space for, like, how do we support these nonprofits they were passionate about? Then they get to hang out with their people.
They got to be in that, what they thought was a coaching daily space, but in reality, they ended up becoming a fundraiser for their favorite nonprofits. But it was, I love it. It was all the same values, all the same things. But if we had kept building them a coaching business, they would've hated half of the stuff they did on a day-to-day basis. Instead, building this fundraising business. Oh, I get to lean into my strengths. Use the skills I already have, hang out with the people I want to and make the impact that they felt most, they had most authority to contribute as well too.
Yeah. So long version of that. Oh, that such a story. Yeah. It's let's help people actually create what they want, which sometimes we're not even sure. We think it's one thing. But we're like, when we get under the hood of the car, we're like, oh my gosh, it's this other thing. But that's the essence of it that we're working with. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. My, one of my favorite things for myself and for other people, which was a real stretch for me to do a number of years ago, is your list of 100 dreams and desires.
Ooh. Yeah.
So Laura Vander Cam, one of my favorite Ted speakers shared about this and she's it doesn't have to be big. We're not talking bucket lists. Some of the things might be right a month in Thailand or whatever. Some of that might be, I wanna a swimsuit I actually love and that I feel good in.
I want this brand of soap in all my bathrooms. It could be something really. Silly. I wanna go strawberry picking, right? But when you most of us don't open up to that level of desire, especially as women. So I actually have a program called Dream Lab, and we look at receiving and desire before we even look at dreaming. What's your relationship to receiving and desire? And there's a whole process in that. 'cause that's the underpinning. Then when we move into dreaming and desire, we're looking at, okay, what are those big things? But then what are those small things? And a hundred, if we really slow down, there's probably more than a hundred things that we would like.
For sure.
But we don't slow down to actually identify and name those. And maybe we're embarrassed and there's judgments about those things. And that's an opportunity for coaching, right? Or work it. And then some of the things are just magnetic and amazing and incredible. So I ran Dream Lab as a retreat. Now I do it one-on-one, but when I let it as a retreat, this was three years ago, I still get emails from women saying every single one of those things happened.
The trip to Hawaii, this thing happened, the book got published, the trip, right? And so it's like there's something too, and then having that up in your office or your space or your bedroom or somewhere to invigorate your space, but naming it is is like that's the first step to creating it.
And to me, I just feel like if we, especially as women we can close on this, right? If we can be more playful about what we want and we can have a lot of permission for desire. Like when I ask women to what degree do you allow yourself to want? They're like, what? Yeah. The short circuit happens, right?
It's no. Really like for you, not for your kids, not for your family, not for your staff, whatever, but like for you, and I think that we're in a renaissance right now as women, which is so exciting to be at the forefront of that. I think you and I really mu very much are, and so to give people, take that as an as, either one of these things as a practice, try your hand set aside 15 minutes.
Once a day for two weeks. See how far you can get because you'll get to a ceiling where you're like, I've done 38, there's nothing else. I was like what else would you like? And then adding to it as you go. And then within a year or two you might be like, here's a hundred things within 45 minutes. So I think that's a regular practice that I have to stretch my desire in receiving muscles.
But I think that it can be an incredible thing for women specifically to be with.
I love this exercise. I'm actually excited to do it myself this weekend. Oh, I can't wait. It's the statistic that blows my mind is that if you write something down if you write it down and you never look at it again you have a 40% increase of it happening.
I know. Wild.
Wild. That's it. I know you like, I don't recommend writing down and throwing it away, but if you write it down and put it in a drawer and don't look at it, there's still a 40% bump. And the more that you look at it, that increases, the more that you're getting your subconscious mind and your conscious mind to be looking like.
Yeah. The way that we can use neuroscience to our advantage is phenomenal and I more women are open to this concept because of like manifesting has been such a feminine energy thing. Yeah. Yeah. And there are some men that I work with and they're like. I have a hard time telling people if I don't like that coffee order, and I'm like, what?
Okay.
We can begin it at any level, and.
That's right.
I no, I love this. I want people dreaming more. I want people believing in anything that's possible. Yeah. I just, there's such a, my word for the year for myself is magnet.
I'm so jealous. I have a word. Envy. Don't, my word is quiet, but that's lovely. Of course. It's of course. But I like yours. Okay. So tell me about Magnet.
But it's been a it's been rude. It's a, it's been a rude word that I chose for the year. Because it really is forcing into this causing I'm very good at causing versus, receiving and not receiving from like accepting things from other people, but receiving from the unknown source in general.
Yeah. And all these things that we work on, they don't, I think there's also a myth that if we work on our money story, for example, that we'll never have to work on it again. If we work on our receiving story, we'll never have to work on it again. And it's just not true. We work at it at different levels and in smaller amounts and we have breakthroughs faster.
Yeah. But the things like everyone has to keep going through like the conversation at the next level. Yeah. And for me this receiving without there being logic behind it has been why it's been rude this year. 'cause every time I've tried to push into creating even if I'm fully on board for it.
The universe has gone no. Remember you, you wanted magnet this year. You can't. You can't. Cause, and I'm like so frustrating.
For a driver. It's so frustrating.
Yeah. Yeah. So frustrating. And I can only imagine like the frustrations that you're getting with the word quiet because even like how I see you as someone who has so much wisdom to share. I want you to be the opposite of quiet. And so I'm like, oh, was that quiet for you? Was that quiet to others? Like where did we apply the right level of quiet to this wish? It's oh,
I'll tell you really briefly. It's like toning down the level of gotta get to it. So every month I would do a mini vacay. Every quarter we were doing a big, like on a plane, vacay, my daughter, right? I'm like, oh my gosh, she's almost eight. What do I wanna experience with her? She's almost a teenager. And then it, so it's like the franticness you know what? We don't have to get to it all today. Let's just, does the money need to be spent?
Does the trip need to happen? So it's more about like home spaciousness, slowing down. Like opening, it's more about where's the richness right here versus on the next flight. And Paris will always be there and Japan will always be there and Australia will always be there. So it's like there's no rush to do that.
And can we enjoy, the strawberries from our garden? Can we enjoy the walk in the sun to the corner coffee shop? Can we enjoy the fact that adventure is here in our home versus out there? So it's it's more of a, it's quieter on the financials. The output on that. And it's quieter in terms of I was just, I've had so many conversations about this 'cause I've, it's been a real, real quandary with my therapist, with my clairvoyant, with my best friends, and they're like, quietness is actually so powerful.
When you think about being in the mountains and the quietness of nature, or the quietness of being in the middle of nowhere and the quietness of the expansiveness of life and nature and the universe, it's oh, that is so powerful. The quietness of being in the galaxy. But I imagine astronauts get to experience and it's like, how can I create that universal expansiveness and quietness inside versus I'm so good at, I did this thing, I marked this off, I did this program, I signed this client.
I, and that's my marker of success versus. The being. And so that, that's my constant learning right now is like output is not a marker of success, which is why I love Arthur C. Brooks and his work in strength, from strength to strength, where he talks about your second success wave in midlife, which I'm in, which is less striving and more that crystallized intelligence of wisdom and slowness and a real ownership of life is not complicated actually.
So what are those jewels of wisdom that we get to revel in and be like, oh my gosh, I was making it so hard. Yeah.
More joy, more love, less complicated. Yeah, exactly.
Simplicity. That's one of my core values. Yeah.
We could talk for hours. I know we allowed ourselves too, so I'm sure we'll have you back on again. But a few rapid fire questions to wrap up for today. Yes. How would you define a powerful lady?
I believe a powerful woman is someone who knows who she is and is open to the expansiveness of who she's becoming. I think it's someone who doesn't have that perfect end to answer that thesis statement. I think it's someone who's is still unfolding and that part of this. So I think it's that ownership of being part of and that willingness to be like, I'm wonderful and I'm part of something much bigger.
Where would you put yourself on the Powerful Lady Scale? If zero is your average everyday human and 10 is the most powerful lady you can imagine, how would you rank yourself today and on an average day?
I would say 10. 'cause I constantly wake up and I'm like, what are my values? And then living by that. Yeah.
For everybody who wants to find support, connect, join your mastermind, get in all get all the goodness they can get from you. Where should they do that?
They can always email me directly. I will always respond personally, Sarah with an h at threebeatsconsulting.com. The legacy group starts at the end of October. Spots are filling. There might be a few more left, but we always have monthly fireside, our Substack community and some other opportunities too. So yeah, three weeks consulting.com.
And last question, what is on your to-do list or wishlist or manifest list that you would like to offer up to this community to help you with?
Oh, man, that's a great question. I think more spaces to be able to learn like simple truths, database truths. What are women learning? What are they researching? I think that would be a really fun place to play right now. Yeah.
And even just community building. Let's go bake a pie together. Let's go make a recipe together. Something fun. We love Meghan Markle show right now on Netflix, my daughter and I. So I'm like, can we go do something home ec, and just enjoy each other's company? Yeah, that would be lovely.
I am so thankful that you were a yes to me and to the powerful ladies. Yeah. And that you came here to share your incredible wisdom with us. Just thank you so much for being Yes. In the work you're doing. It makes me feel lit up getting to talk with someone who sees the world in so many ways that I do, because it's not common and it just reminds me like how expansive we can be. In community and when we're again, like seeing reflections, we're like, oh, yeah. Okay. Thank you. Yes, let's keep going together. So thank you for that as well.
Thank you, Kara. This is a real genuine honor. Thank you.
Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and share it with a friend. Head to the powerful ladies.com where you can find all the links to connect with Sarah Three Beats Consulting and join her Mastermind starting in October. Come hang out with powerful Ladies on Instagram at Powerful Ladies, and you can find me and all my socials at karaduffy.com.
This episode is produced by Amanda Kass and edited by Jordan Duffy. I'll be back next week with a brand new episode. Until Ben, I hope you're taking on being powerful in your life. Go be awesome and up to something you love.
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